Nah.
Chapter three was the TRUE end.

2879596

HNGH This is incredible. I want more!

2879614 be patient, young one, for perhaps there will be an epilogue. Or not, it's all in the 'skulls skull.

Stockholm Syndrome!
A love story.
i will say not bad could be better, but you already know that. I personally could not think of ways to fix it so I'm not really one to talk. Still thanks for the story.

Peppy this was a great little story and I bad fun reading it
Was a fun little peice of work and most importantly I hope you had fun writing
And I cannot wait till ATFN's next chapter comes out

she prepared another spell to floor the Celestia again
Is that anything like flooring the gas?

Interesting end, I'm not sure what to think of it, I think that's good.

I noticed this is still marked incomplete. Will there be more chapters, or maybe an epilogue? It feels like we're missing closure on the mares' relationships with Celestia.

Love the story very good

Awwww... It would be more intriguing if Twilight were paralyzed or something from Celesta's actions. It would have set up an interesting dynamic between the three characters going forward.

Guess Celestia's Force Choke isn't as effective as Vader's.

Bitchlestia strikes again.

hmm, good, but it doesn't really have a finished feel, there's no closure. an epilogue is needed

2879945
I agree, some kind of understanding from Celestia.

Lumi happy
The neck snapping method seems to be Celestia's favourite kill-move. She also did that in "My Little Alicorn".

2879614 2879945 2879977 2879848 2879628

It is, for all intents and purposes, complete, but I left it 'open' in case I feel like adding more stuff (which, knowing how my brain works, will happen).

2880006 Hmmm.... I don't remember that. I'll hafta reread it.

2879896 She was defending her sister, so the bitchiness is to be expected.

2880006 2879864 Also, she never got to finish it. Luna bucked her in the chest, hence the noise you guys saw.

2880113 This. I loathe using slang and shit in clopfics with story (I begrudgingly used cock, because there just aren't enough decent words to replace penis), hence the 'come'.

2879846 2879426 I'll get that fixed

2879896

Umm... Twilight basically raped her sister and got her pregnant. Yeah I would expect her to kill Twilight too.

Not to mention Luna has essentially fallen in love with her abuser. (Yes, I know Twilight didn't mean for her to feel fear, but doesn't excuse her initial behavior)

Badadadoop! 200 likes! Your welcome. Also, if your brain decides to pukeforth more words in the form of a chapter. I might read it. Just sayin.

That ending...
Wooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I will stalk you forever... *clicks watch button of DOOM*

2880152

Luna: Yes.

Twilight: Well.... Fuck.

2880136

So many stories with negative Celestias. Just as many yet still who write her as a plot device or flat character. ._. It's kinda sad. Surely there was a better, more intuitive way to weave the conflict of a betrayed and worried/protective Celestia into the story without her going homicidal on what's effectively her daughter, and served as her only real family before Luna could return. Thousands of years, you figure a being has more ways to display anger and hurt than murder. o-o

Still though, chapter one was my favorite by a long shot.

2880178 Well, it's not resolved for two reasons.

One: So I can do so later if I'm up to it.

Kweh: So all of you can wring your hands wondering wtf is going to happen next and how they will all react later.

I'd say more, but plans and stuff.

2880183

Plans and Stuff, you say? Intriguing!

2880189 Yup. I already know what I will have happen should I write it, but it won't be anytime soon.

Hey. That abomination is alive? Shame.

2879561
Well, Twilight is also a hybrid between male and female, and pony is just being used as a normal pronoun. Also, "her seed began to pool on the floor." makes it sound as if Nightmare's seed is pooling on the ground, not Twilight's ejaculate.

Really, it just ends there? We don't get to see Twilight's attempt at fatherhood? We don't get to see Celestia's attempts at repairing her relationship with Luna and/or maybe Twilight? We don't get to see the emotional backlash Twilight will most likely suffer when the fact that her "second mother" just nearly killed her and was more than willing to do so sinks in?

What a shame.

2880193Need more ATFN then Finish this. I soo wan't to see How they resolve their problems with Celestia.

Dang I thought Luna Would Have brought up the fact that Had Celestia Killed Twilight that she would've ruined any chance she would've had at having her sister back as well.

For seeing Celestia being the over protective sister yes but this is belated over protective so it's a bit rigged and juked, but I can't really explain it for some reason.

2880295 there's more coming, he just needs to put it out when he eventually does.

however it is done for now. think of it as an extended Hiatus.

2880006 and then basically ground the stallion who's mind she destroyed into the wall of the building and then had the place burned to the ground.

nice story, Twi/Luna is so rarely not a winner unless we're talking a Twilight/Spitfire

2880506 No, I used it on purpose. Read the rest of the comments

2880295 What 2880542 said.

Also, 2880295, please refer to 2880183 as well.

This ending is much, much better!

Tons of ooc. Little character development. What development does exist is glossed over with time skips. Meh.

I can see the downthumbers swarming to my comment now.

2881744
You can see down votes for you valid and thought out input?
How dare you have a completely reasonable outlook on this story.

2881744 It wasn't entirely meant to focus on the character development, that's what ATFN is for. The OOC is understandable, but consider this is a scenario that wouldn't happen outside of this story I figured it'd be one of the last things people would worry about.

Valid points, but the OOC you're gonna hafta be more specific over, especially considering Nightmare/Luna was horribly dominated, Celestia was defending her raped sister and... Twi is the only one I can't logically justify outside of because I liked it better this way.

2882178
I always worry about character development

As far as the ooc... Celestia's reaction honestly surprised me. On one side... yes. Twilight betrayed her trust. Luna, her sister, was used and quite possibly hurt. What seems to be thrown out the window is Celestia's relationship with Twilight. I feel like she would be more confused in this situation. Torn between the two fillies she loved the most. I agree that she would be much more biased toward Luna but the fact that her first reaction was to snap Twilight's neck kind of disturbed me.

Also, what is going on with the sibling relationship in this? Luna is absolutely cold to Celestia. It is easy to blame others for our own mistakes but the way it is presented it seems like Luna is completely in the right and everything is Celestia's fault. I'm sorry, who tried to bring eternal night, again?

Of course, Luna has developed Stockholm Syndrome. It would make sense for her to be protective towards Twilight, but why does she need to protect her in the first place? That loops back to my first point where Celestia goes all PsychoMurderBitch.

Ok... PsychoSomewhatJustifiedButStillMurderousMurderBitch.

2882439 Would you think logically if you just learned that somebody raped your sister/daughter/whomever? I know my step-mom freaked the fuck out when I smacked my little sister for being a twat, and rape is much further up on the scale.

You have to remember that, instead of doing it all herself (although she really didn't have much choice in the matter), Celestia had Twilight do all of the work towards rebuilding Luna into somebody functional. Plus, if you've read ATFN, you'll realize that she has far more than enough reason to be cold to Celestia.

Because Twilight was the only pony truly in her right mind.

Also, I feel that Stockholm Syndrome is the wrong term for this unless we're using it in the broadest sense of the term.

2882487

I would agree, but I think it's important to think about who we are talking about here. Celestia is the long-lived, once sole ruler of an entire nation. She is much wiser than any other pony in Equestria and is extremely practiced in remaining calm and stable in any situation.

Plus, she has already proved that the condition of her sister does not blind her to the rest of the world. She sent Luna to the moon to protect Ponykind. If she can do that, why shouldn't she be able to stop and think logically for a moment when given the news about what Twilight did?

Also, I wasn't aware this was a side story to another fic. You might want to make that more apparent so people like me can more easily understand the behavior and interactions of the characters.

2882517 Not really a side story so much as it is just a spin-off of the first chapter going in a completely different direction. I should also point out that this was originally meant to be mindless clop that turned into something with a minor plotline.

2882487
I don't know the circumstances, and I don't mean to offend, but I have to wonder whether that's because your stepmother thinks your behavior is wrong or if you're considered a second class citizen of sorts... Siblings get in fights sometimes, and it can get physical, I doubt that it causes lasting harm to most.

Also, I kind of feel like the whole premise is awkward. It's a little odd that Twilight's plan the whole time was to sexually dominate the Nightmare/Luna. Unless Twilight is older than in the show, she's behaving at a level somewhat beyond her years and in a very nymphomaniac way. It

I kind of think Celestia's reaction was an off the cuff sort of the reaction, but one that could be easily expected. She trusted Twilight to do something, and Twilight abused that trust. On the other hand, she simply assumes that Luna had no say/will in her own actions, which makes no sense. Was Celestia always this over-protective in your head canon? Not to mention that Twilight's physical nature in this is really a unusual sort of thing, so maybe Celestia choice of her as student might be reasonably expected to have a less simple reason?

2883330 Somepony didn't pay attention to the story~! Her plan wasn't to sexually dominate Nightmare. Her plan was to expose Nightmare's weakness without the embarrassment of Nightmare being found out by her friends and then popped a woody. She then offered Nightmare the choice of mutual sex, which Nightmare refused, forced the info of where Celestia was from her, and lost control of her libido from the spell. After that, she just thought that Nightmare liked that sort of thing and never stopped.

You don't get any real interaction between Luna/Celestia in the show. What we do know is that Celestia banished her to the moon because she tried to take over because she wasn't being loved enough, something Celestia could have prevented. Obviously, she feels like shit because of this. I think it's safe to assume that she is going to be obsessively doting over her sister.

she's behaving at a level somewhat beyond her years and in a very nymphomaniac way

You assume young adults cannot be nymphos.

Not to mention that Twilight's physical nature in this is really a unusual sort of thing, so maybe Celestia choice of her as student might be reasonably expected to have a less simple reason?

I cannot understand what you're talking about here.

epic

I you, Peppy.

2886964

the plot for lack of a better overall term ruins the clop......

though it was still something different to see a nmm alt where nmm is the one getting their shit fucked up so to speak....

also i want source of that image.....

2884532 rephrased: asking whether or not Twi being a herm/futa had anything to do with being picked as Celestia's student.

2887684 Oh, no. That's something that would have come up after some time in the castle. You gotta remember that Twi was a filly when she was recruited.

2887705 ah-ah-ah! I didn't ask the question, StormyVenture did. Don't tell me, tell him.

2887716 Well, he hasn't replied, so no soup for him. Back of the line.

*Reads description*

*Takes deep breath*

BRING IT ON, MOTHERBUCKER!!!

2884532
I don't take Twilight to be quite a young adult at this point, but then the show canon is kinda wonky in that way. The main characters don't seem like proper young adults, but at times they're treated as though they are and other times not quite as much.

Mostly, I guess I'm confused from the official canon, because the odds of a pre-puberty child or even someone not long past the onset of that is unlikely to be quite that free about sex in general. Granted, we are talking about human society and not ponies, but Twilight seems excessively free/comfortable in this case.

As pointed out, this 2887684 is roughly what I was inquiring about. Being a natural hermaphrodite is pretty rare, so I was wondering about that. I kind of hope this wasn't retconned in and has some background. I can imagine being that way could be extremely awkward in pony society, so it seems like if it were the case beforehand, it could have weighed into Celestia's selection criteria.