I don't think this particular topic (Twilight overpowering NMM and then doing very hot things to her) has been ever brought up.

starmetal-clad hooves

Someone's a Fallout: Equestria reader I see.

this hit the feature box.................... me gusta

HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME GUSTA ME GUSTA ME GUSTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love the direction this went. I totally expected Twilight to get the D, not this.

meet the majestic purple of the you unicorn's

young

Twilight felt queen tense under her touch

"the queen"?

Why does she continue to there and stare!?

I think you accidentally a word.

Twilight could not have been any more aroused.

And neither could I.

her breath having been stolen by the clitoral attack.

It's super effective!

inviting it in again her will.

against

pushing against the mare's cervix.

Twilight has a large penis for a mare, and even a stallion. Pretty sure alicorn internal anatomy scales with their external size.

Will you have my foals? I want you to foal my children!

If I was Nightmare, I would foal Twilight's children, though I am a little biased.

The fiery warmth of the seed spread through the hybrid pony’s depths as she was filled to the brim and more until, with each spasmodic thrust of lavender hips, her seed began to pool on the floor.

It is kinda difficult to tell what subject you are talking about here. They are both hybrids, but it sounds as if Nightmare is getting filled, yet the sentence ends as if referring to Twilight.

So, this first chapter was pretty hot. Awesomely fucked up as well, I loved it. Though as you can tell above I did find some spelling mistakes and have some comments about certain lines. I usually separate them into too blocks, but that would have taken time away from reading, so here they are, all scrambled together.

To board the Rape Train, one must leap upon it from the roof of the Snuggle Struggle Express.

Twilight could not have been any more aroused.

Yeah... Landed that jump like a BOSS.

You do know it's spelled cum right? anyways great story.

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Virgin! 'Cum' was the bastardization. It was actually, and properly 'come'. 'Cum' is basically slang.

Beautiful! Pure pornographic poetry.

Damn! Why I'm I finding a Herm Twilight raping NightMare Moon into submission so BUCKING HOT!

Moony was just too bucking hot to resist.
At least Twilight said she was sorry beforehand.

Awesome story, bro. Sorry it took me so long to read it now, but things happen. I noticed a few things... er, missing.

Five of the girls, each of their pastel-colored visibly shaking visibly, turned back to their impromptu leader

Pastel colored what? Also, got an extra visibly in there.

I didn't become, and stay, Princess Celestia's because of my looks, you know.

Celestia's what? Or is she saying that she belongs to Celestia. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If I had to choose a pony to whom I belonged, Celestia would be at, or near the top of that short list. Now, on to the rest of the story!

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Technically they are both slang