Spike and Twilight are as close as can be but with the unfortunate news from Princess Celestia and a knock on the door from a military officer that just might change.Spike was being recruited to fight in the name of Equestria.Spike was only a baby dragon ten years prior and wouldn't have understood but he knew now that there was no way around this.Never being exposed to physical violence,Spike now has to fight a war,and is expected to bring his enemy to their knees and show no mercy.Can he do it?Will he survive?What will become of his beloved friends back home?Join us and discover Spikey-wikey's journey into the unforgiving battlefront.
Chapters (1)
Well, being a huge Spike fan, you have me intrigued yet saddened for what is going on. This chapter feels a bit rushed, and I think it would be best if you maybe separated the parts in which the character speaks. Say if Twilight speaks one sentence, make a space then write what the other character says. Don't let their talking run in the same sentence. Other than that I am very interested to see what is happening and how it all involves Spike.
Well, the inconsistent spacing is a little distracting, but otherwise I don't see anything specific to complain about although so far there isn't much, just everypony acting all weird around spike.
2704235
I just read the summary. So, Spike is off to war, and Twilight and the others aren't even going to stop this from happening, and he doesn't even know it. Gosh, Celestia is being a major troll already.
I have this dogma of providing explanation of why I dislike a story (which I did some thirty seconds ago).
I dislike war stories as a default setting. To clarify, I love Human war stories, seeing as they know war and how to wage it handsomely.
Ponies.... not so much. We're dealing with spear-wielding, magic-toting, equines under the rule of a benevolent/malevolent monarch in these kinds of stories. As improbable as this seems under such heavy canon found in this peculiar fandom (i.e. "friendship is Magic" as their way of life), we find that they are apparently fully prepared and suddenly thrusting themselves into battle.
Now that my opinion is out of the way, let me lay down facts that you might find to be more helpful:
1. Pacing. Dear Lord. Slow down! I feel as though this plot line has been advanced at FTL speed. I can't grasp the details, however lacking, in this piece. There is nothing that makes me visualize the scenarios that are set in place.
2. Block text. It's indented, alright, but very sparingly. Dialogue seems jumbled and is confusing to read.
3.Grammar: decent, but many fixable errors. Mostly dialogue commas and other such things need to be fixed.
Anyway, I see you've only recently joined. There are also apparently two of you. I suggest getting together and fixing this up and brainstorming immediately.
So there going to send Spike to fight a war with no training, never even been in a fight before, and none of his friend going to voice any protest?
While I am curious about the story, I can't help but face palm at the lack of logic.
2704247 Is not matter of being a troll, SHE IS A QUEEN. She has to look after her kingdom and having a dragon on their side for the war isnt good?
Altough we don't even know if they are sending him witouth training, a baby dragon going to war? Don't think so, they will have to train him and wait for his grow spurt.
2704952 Like I said I am curious about where this story goes and will give an honest chance. Though I have read stories where logic was thrown through a window so I won't complain too much.
2704989 I just want to see if the Mane Six will say anything to Spike about it or just leave him in the dark about it until it is too late and he finds out himself.
$20 says he got drafted
You are aware that a space goes after all punctuation, right? It's kind of a important grammar thing that will make most people smack their heads into a table.
you have my attention
time for...
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I don't know why but I cant help but think that Spikes going to be the ultimate soldier