Addendum
I made this chapter with the idea of getting some feedback from my lovely audience, and maybe the rest of you as well (I jest, you're all lovely). When I initially put up the last chapter, which sub-sequentially had to be redone because of an error on my part, I had read a lot of things about a sequel.
That would, of course, make it the fourth story in the series.
I have to ask, of course, if that is still there with the ending that I have put up. It might seem like a weird thing to ask, but the ending is there where it wasn't there before. I want to get your feedback about what the fan base actually wants.
I just get the feeling that some people might have gotten tired of it, or maybe the ending ruined it for them. Please leave your comments below about how you feel about this particular question.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Lenora Goff · 26k words · 314 12 · 8.5k views
- Lenora Goff · 26k words · 449 14 · 12k views
- Closer-To-The-Sun · 4.8k words · 255 6 · 8.2k views
- YourNeighborhoodAlicorn · 21k words · 179 18 · 5.8k views
- Flutterfan457 · 13k words · 235 15 · 11k views
- uioui · 8.6k words · 248 16 · 14k views
- distortedtruth92 · 11k words · 309 15 · 8.4k views
- That Drunk Pony · 21k words · 231 23 · 10k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.186 seconds
Total duration
606 users online
873,219 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
My main complaint with the ending why they hell would Twilight think it was all a test from Celestia? That matters of the heart would just be used as a test? Alright I've said me peace on that, now onto the sequel. If you do one perhaps do it form Twilight POV, as she tries to put everything together and realize that it wasn't a test... I think Celestia needs to have another talk with her sturdent.
3228253
Well, sadly, the show has made it to where everything is a test for Twilight. Think about it from her perspective. Nightmare Moon? Crystal Empire? Both of those, in the end, just seemed like tests for Twilight. If you had gone through world-saving "tests", something like this would only seem logical to be a test as well.
3228260
Well, yes, I will admit she was being highly illogical. I've tried to portray her throughout this entire story as... well, not coping well. We've seen in the canon how she deals with stressful situations... or doesn't really deal with them, and went with that.
well thing I see wrong with this ending is (assuming lesson zero/Hearts and Hooves Day happened) the smarty pants and love potion incident should of taught Twilight that manipulating ponies emotions or actions is wrong and can be disastrous, and since celestia was the one who reprimanded twilight for using "want it, need it" shouldn't twilight realise Celestia wouldn't manipulate Dash and Spike
granted you can give some leeway for twilight being "crazy" but even while crazy she should remember cadence can't create love, but reinforce love which is already there.
I could see Twilight thinking theres love potion/poison at work, being an elaborate joke or even a rebound for the sake of a rebound but not emotional manipulation
Sorry If I'm reading too into this but thats my take on the ending
3228266
Yeah... um. Twilight's matured since then. To the point where she's willing to chew out Celestia. So.... This is very out of character for her.
I for one want a sequel.
3228266
True, but at times I like to think that Twilight won't go Twilight Spazzle at the drop of a hat. Also one thing, at the end of S3 we see her coping better with stress thanks to help from Cadence
3228282
I was under the impression that Twilight was reprimanded for using a spell that caused the entire town to collapse on itself. Also... I had completely forgotten that Cadance couldn't create love that wasn't already there. :twilight sheepish: You're not being too hard on me, this type of feedback is the type of feedback I need.
I'll probably look into making it less "blarg". Seriously, neither of us (my pre-reader or me) caught onto the fact that Cadance can't create love.
3228283
To be honest, I rarely like the term "out of character" being brandied around like it's the new black. We can look at season 3 and see that she still isn't completely stable at times. Of course, that's not sen factoring in that even the writers of MLP:FiM only have a semi-consistant character when it comes to any of the Mane 6 as is. :|
3228290
Well, yes, but I thought about this as one of those special things. She's spazzing out partially because she just lost the one who she viewed as a son. So add that onto the Twilight Sparkle Spazz Fest and you get something that wouldn't normally happen. Hell, I spazzed out when my cat ran away. I can only imagine what it'd be like for your son, or who you view as your son, to suddenly run away when it doesn't even make sense to you.
While I like the ending if it means another sequel to these awesome stories I will admit that Twilight is pretty off character a bit. I would say it should take more than that for her to denies the situation around her like that. But I'm still up for the sequel.
3228310
Not sure if cadence can't create love is head-canon or official but i'd i'm pretty sure its official (since its been shown that she rekindles the love between an arguing couple and not randomly making 2 fall in love)
sorry if i'm wrong lol
3228310
You assume I would use the term lightly.
3228410
It might be, I might have just forgotten it. I didn't say anyone was wrong, just that I goofed.
3228293
Shockwave i presume?
It doesn't really work for me because your name is just a bunch of random numbers and letters.
Prove your use and join the empire.
The Decepticon Empire
3228430
Nobody ever thinks they are, really.
I believe I stayed as in character as I could for an event that is completely outside the realm of canon. In canon, Rainbow doesn't do sappy. :P
3228610
I kind of took the line from that movie.
3228614
The idea that Rainbow "doesn't do sappy" is as... simplistic, shall we say, as "Twilight is Neurotic." True, Rainbow Dash isn't as sappy as the other characters, but that doesn't mean she isn't as emotional as they are, in her own way. When I say Twilight is out of character, in this particular instance I mean you have picked a trait of hers and overemphasized it to the point of charactiture.
3228664
Ah.
I apologize for that, then. I hope that, maybe, the bonus ending might be more to your liking then.
3228777
Reprisal of a main theme?
Actually, both endings seem rushed and unfinished. If the normal ending is a kid's show cliffhanger, the Alt-Ending is the lazy resolution of that cliffhanger next episode. The way you wrote them, it seems like you had sequels in mind.
3228794
I'll have you know I spent an entire hour re-working that ending to be happy!
But, yes, there was a cliffhanger. I just can't stop writing them, it's a disease of mine. At some point I'm actually going to write a story with a concrete ending. I am not commenting on the potential for a sequel, nor am I denying that it is being done.
The first ending wasn't rushed, though, it's generally how I planned on ending this story. I use each story to deal with a set plot. Anything beyond that plot generally gets turned into a bonus chapter of some sort.
3228843
I don't know if rushed is the right word, but it just doesn't FEEL like a story ending. It feels like a chapter ending.
3228790
A joke about just how many jingles in Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers have the melody of "Go Go Power Rangers", since I compared the ending to a Power Rangers cliffhanger.
Which I can't apologize enough for. Seriously. Just go watch the first episode of any multi-parter on Netflix and you'll see why I'm apologizing. It's just, the second-to-ultimate insult to a writer. No sarcasm.
3228871
Ah, I understand what you mean. I've always sucked at writing endings, to be honest. It's my biggest problem, tying everything up in a way that comes across as a good ending for it.
Honestly I'd love to read the sequel to the original ending. The last ending felt ... offish ... odd. It had a je ne sais quio that was not as hitting as the not everyone will be happy which was in all honesty the better ending, sadder, slightly depressing but better. And it'd be nice to see a follow up to it.
If the canon fanon is the sad ending i wnat a sequel.
if the fanon fanon is the happy ending, just leave it.
Megatron out.
The first ending felt unfinished.
The second ending did feel like it finished the story.
My answer.
3228976
Now for me to google what that French saying means. :P
3229005
Alright, thanks.
3229081
Unfinished seems to be a big way for people to describe the ending.
I will say one thing, mister: SEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUELSEQUEL... TO INFINITE... and beyound.
3229345
I get the feeling you hate the idea of a sequel.
I like both endings that you provided. The second one serves as a definitive conclusion for the series if you decide to end things here, while the original ending keeps matters sufficiently ambiguous that there is room for a potential sequel if you want to do one.
As for the sequel itself, I, for one, am always game for more (especially since we could all do with more Spike/Dash) and you've left some wonderful plot threads lying around, just begging to be picked up. That said, I will not implore you to write a sequel. You should only write a sequel if you want to write one. Even if your readers beg and cry for one, you should only write a sequel if you have the creative impetus to produce it. Often, sequels put up as an effort solely to please the fanbase turn out to be lackluster because the writer just doesn't have their heart in it. Do it to please yourself first, your fans second. That's what fanfiction is all about.
As I said in my posts on the chapters, the first ending is great (with the exception of a few typos) and the second feels like you tried to force a conclusion onto a story that was not even close to ready for it so I would go with a sequel from the first ending.
3228310 Don't worry about the fact that Cadence can't create love. Twilight is more than a little out of it during this scene so she may very well miss things or rationalize it in some way to let her avoid taking responsibility so that is very much an acceptable in-character mistake.
3228283 3228290 Twilight is explicitly described as a unicorn, so this cannot be post-season 3.
3229669
I know that, what I mean is that Cadence taught her those calming excises before her Ascension
3229679 Yes, but we do not know when (although my guess is that it happened before season 1 and Twilight forgot about it until then) and this is quite possibly the most stressful situation she has ever been in so expecting her to stay calm is unreasonable.
Why does everyone want a sequel to this story? just let it end where it is it had a fantastic ending (both ending) and not to mention this is the 3rd sequel to the story. and if he where to make one.... what would it be about? i just cant see what he could add to this already fantastic story... so overyone, stop asking for one cause it doesn't need one..
BTW i loved these stories! was a very nice read! and cant wait to be seeing more from you!
reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/taxi-drive-clap.gif
3229149
A certain unidentifiable something.
It means that something has a "something" about it that you can't quite explain but you know its there.
I think the problem with the first ending is because there was no resolution like everyone else said. It just ended.... all the problems in the story become unsolvable and any readers that care about the characters are left with worry for the rest of their lives.
This brings the question of where you want you story to end like. Do you really want the readers be left asking more questions or feeling satisfied that they enjoyed the ride? If your answer is the first one then you succeeded in your real ending, everyone who cares about Spike and the others are left with nothing but questions and worry for their real being, but they have no choice but to accept that's how you want to end things and imagine their own endings if they don't agree with your conclusion of how the story should have ended. That's pretty much how you made the ending of this story feel like, nothing is resolved and just raises more questions. If you want your readers to feel like they enjoyed the ride you've given them then you must make an ending that answer all of the big questions that affect the characters the most until there's nothing left but little questions that barely affects them. You have to make the readers feel like that all of the biggest issues are solved or finished, that they at least have an idea of what's going to happen to the characters from now on. In the bonus good ending chapter you pretty much solved the biggest problem in the story about Spike, Dash, and Twilight, however you didn't solve the second biggest problem about Rarity and Fluttershy, which is why that bonus chapter gives off the same feeling of incompleteness. If you want the readers to feel satisfied with the story you must solve these problems one way or another otherwise your story will feel incomplete.
If you want to resolve the issues most readers have with this story (and therefore, people asking for a sequel sounds more like an extra thing instead of something really needed to be resolved) then you must answer these questions:
1. Will Twilight ever make up with Dash and Spike and understand her problems with them or is it over?
2. Will Fluttershy ever forgive Rarity for trying to make herself fall in love with her when she never did in the first place?
3. What the heck is Applejack doing at Twilight's place or for that matter why was she following Dash and Spike? Will she be the one to make Twilight see the true problem she has made for herself?
4. Will Fluttershy and Rarity forgive Dash for having things turned out the way they did?
5. Did their friendship ever survive this hardship?
I think those are the main problems you need to solve if you want some your readers to feel better about this. (The rest of the problems are pretty fine to leave alone, I think, but if you want to know I can tell you them.) Here's the best 3 solutions I can come up with to these questions.
Solutions 1 and 2: Write an epilogue that will quickly tell us how everything turned out for everyone after this thing by having Spike or Rainbow narrate it. How long a time the epilogue will be set in is up to you, it could be two more days or two years. The point of this kind of epilogue is that at least the problems are solved one way or another, but I can only think of two ways this can go:
1.The Bad Ending Epilogue i.e friendship is destroyed ending:
Spike or Rainbow Dash recounts how Dash's act of trying to get Fluttershy together with Rarity, just made everything worse between the good friends and no matter how hard they try they couldn't get Twilight to understand the truth and apparently after x-amount-of-time has pass Applejack is like the only thing keeping everyone together. But their friendship is just down to the point that they can't just even bring themselves to talk to each other without getting into an argument or that their everyone's relationship with each other is that they're now on a "always argue with each other but still care about each other" kind of relationship. However after everything that's happened Spike nor Rainbow Dash can't talk to their friends about normal things with each other anymore.
2.The "Not Everypony Will Be Happy" kind of Epilogue:
Spike or Rainbow Dash talks about how their declaration for love with each other caused a lot of problems with everyone, but now things are slowly getting back together. Fluttershy and Rarity couldn't bring themselves to talk to Dash for a while but at least one of them is back on speaking terms with her while the other is completely back to normal with Rainbow Dash. Meanwhile, Fluttershy is finally starting to forgive Rarity by the time this Epilogue starts. Twilight on the other hand took a long while to get used to Spike and Dash being together but with the help of AJ she's okay with Spike's decision but she's still apprehensive to Dash while giving plenty of "if you do anything to hurt him" threats. So basically not everyone is happy about Dash and Spike being together(and the circumstances that made it happen), but at least they're used to it.
3rd solution: Basically write another chapter about how Twilight, Fluttershy, and Rarity are getting ready to fix their mistakes. At least it's a bit more clear that there's hope for their friendship left rather than the uncertain hope that AJ was there when Spike and Dash left.
My qualm with the ending is there's no resolution, you just gave a new conflict. No well written series I've read ends like that.
The ones I've read that do are worthy of this level of bad storytelling.storytelling
The ending of a series isn't the same as ending a story. Everything needs to be tied up nicely with as few loose ends as possible. You can't create new ones if you're not planning to tie them up (ie Twilight's state of mind, Celestia's reaction to that, there's so much more that has to be explained here). Now, it doesn't have to be a new story, just one or two more chapters would do it.
3230175
I would like read it.
3231075
Um, which one. ^^;
3229149 Only the first ending
3230904
Yeah, I am horrible with endings. Really, though, writing this I hadn't realized that I had just ended with just as many conflicts as in the beginning. I just kind of had a basic idea of how it would end, and then went from there. It turns out that my method of writing needs a bit of ... enhancement. I kind of need to wrap this up, and with the threads I accidently laid out it means more than a couple of chapters. This is what I get for not planning this out all the way.
3229489
Alright, I will look over again.
3229558
Well, with Rainbow, she is the element of awesome... I mean loyalty.
3229611
Easier said than done.
Really, though, writing this I hadn't realized that I had just ended with just as many conflicts as in the beginning. I just kind of had a basic idea of how it would end, and then went from there. It turns out that my method of writing needs a bit of ... enhancement. I kind of need to wrap this up, and with the threads I accidently laid out it means more than a couple of chapters.
3232103
And second one they say is rushed.
3232627 The second ending you wrote works (I was writing my comment about the original more as I could tell that was what you wanted to write), and I can see a few ways you could tie it up nicely in a chapter or 3 if you did a pure character development chapter focused on Twi (spiraling downhill and everyone notices type stuff), 1 or 2 on Spike and Dash dealing with the fallout, and 1 of an "intervention" style meeting with the Mane 6, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and anyone else you feel like you need to shove in to tie it all off, and 1 wrap up where you basically do what you did in the alternate ending. The endings are the easy part for me, I tend to have trouble getting from the start of the conflict to the climax more than coming up with how it all ends.
3232627 I guess it kinda did
This is my review on the last chapter;
I've been following this series (if you could call it that) from the beginning. I like these stories very much, and not just because it has RainbowSpike. If you hadn't have added the 'Happier Ending' I would be shouting 'SEQUEL!' right now. And for most stories, I do shout that. But for this one, it just feels like this is how it should end. Part of my feeling like that is from the letter at the end, and the other part, is because I just can't see the story continuing after this. Not that it couldn't. If you plan to write a sequel, I WILL definitely read it. If you don't, you could do something similar to a future events sort of thing. Where you write a small chapter following up the end. (it's just a suggestion). Overall, I give it a 9.5/10 I really loved the story.
well i can honestly say that i liked 2nd endin better then 1st
i mean hell i even skipped to t 1st's end way sooner then i normally do to any endin 
x9 but, only once i got t msg that twi snapped of course 
anyways, all in all excellent but, kinda sad fic and if there is any idea for a sequel i say go for it 
3236685
I didn't expect that anyone would pick up on that.
i like both endings , but well ... in my opnion i will prefer the last ending c: ... i like happy endings xD , but i will like to read a sequel ;D !! it will be awesome
3242025
Even if the sequel is based on the sad ending and not the happy one? Because the happy ending kind of wraps most things up with a pretty bow and calls it good.
this is an addition to my previous comment:
there is also the issue that nothing was ever truly resolved between rarity and fluttershy and while i honestly dont care much for the pairing i do care about loose ends in stories being tied up properly and not with an angry bunny slamming the door and leaving everyone wondering what happened later on
3280052
I don't much care for the pairing either, or I wouldn't have done what I did to it. I gave a basic premise of what's going to happen, but I suppose that might not be enough. I suppose people want it written in stone. Too bad that a lot of people wanted RariShy and they got ... what they got. But I don't compromise all my ideas for likes.
3280035
So you're not a fan of the happier ending? If I might trouble you a little for a why. I'm interested in what's wrong with this one that makes the other one, the one that doesn't have a clear and distinct resolution, better.