downvote B_25 also known as Beterson_25 also known as second letter of the alphabet otherwise known as Bruh_25
Spike gets wings... somehow, Rainbow Dash helps him fly like a pro. LET THE CHEESINESS ENSUE! Like most of you can tell, it is a SpikeDash story. I told myself i wouldn't resort to writing Romance, but hey let's give it a shot shall we?
Thank this guy for the awesome photo! http://browse.deviantart.com/art/Dragon-Wings-356901596
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Now that would be a sight to see. Everyone seeing it'd be traumatized for life, but it'd be a sight to see nonetheless.
Might want to fix that part mate.
2585110 HAHA too right!
You sir need an editor and a prereader. And a book on Grammar. (<-yes that was purposeful)
Your phrasing is awkward and it jerks readers from the immersion. It is a good story, but you still need to add in better wordings and grammar. Try to re-read what you wrote and fix what you can.
Interesting story , needs work.
I Like IPr
Found a few mistakes here and there, but otherwise, great story! Hope to see the next chapter soon.
2585538 Me? Having a Pre-reader and Editor? I always thought you needed like 5 fics in order to hire some. I've never really thought about it but it would be a good idea. After the next chapter goes up, i'll fix this one cause i expected someone to comment about my phrasing.
2586882
Nah. There's a group, just look at the document and ask one of 'em to be your proof reader.
2586882
I only had one story when someone offered to be mine. Just ask and ye shall receive (eventually). If people like your fics enough, someone will surely offer.
Best pairing.
Just remember to capitalize "I".
MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2585110 Fixed. Avoided some life-long scars.
Great story so far, and if you make sure to fix your grammar a bit, it'll be even better.
Rarity's mane is purple, not teal. Teal is sort of a mix between green and light blue. If you want to use another word you could use "lilac," even though it's a bit too light to fit in my opinion. More story-wise it seems like Spike only likes Rarity for her looks. Was this the Spike you intended to portray?
Yeah, like Shadow Scryer pointed out, you might want to fix that
Also, capitalize "i" when talking about oneself and differentiate between "you're" and "your."
I'll definately keep an eye on this, SpikeDash has been a little scarce recently.
2591586 No, that wasn't the kind of Spike i was trying to portray, but if you think about it and really THINK about it, he sort of does only like her for her looks. Also, I've been thinking about hiring an editor and pre-reader and I'm sort of stumped on who to hire.
Not too long ago, I started a thread in The Writer's Group about Spike getting wings. I wonder...
Anyways, not bad. I like it. The execution was done well, and the pacing wasn't too fast. Many errors, however. Still, not too many that it ruined the fun for me. You do need an editor, though.
2592831 Thank you for the constructive criticism and i am looking for an Editor. I plan on hiring one before the next chapter if possible.
Twixie will consider editing this.
PM her if you are interested in having her help.
Totally
me
It appears you're also high on 'i's
Friendship is a good high.
Those are the basics!?
What.
This story is pretty AWESOME!!
2607685 Well, if you think about it, everything is basic for Rainbow Dash.
2610863
I can't wait to see her idea of "advanced". A Sonic Mageboom?
2611721 Not even Sonic, just Rainboom.
2607431 M'Kay
2611869 In order to create the "boom", she would have to be going faster than sound, AKA supersonic speeds. That's where the sonic part comes from.
The rainboom would be changed, though, because she's all purple and not a rainbow like dash. Her boom would look magical. Mage, being an elder term for wizard healer. Somic Mageboom makes more sense than "Sonic Magicboom", or just "The Boom".
TL;DR Dash's Rainboom comes from going supersonic. Rainbows are just an after effect of her mane/tail colors.
Hum... Spainbowshy?
2621533
Or, one hellfire, in all place.
Das is interestin'
2621533 Well, in all respect, I meant that comment as a joke. It's pretty obvious she has to break the sound barrier to do a Sonic Rainboom. Plus, the after effect is what makes it cool, Don'tcha think?
2624864
Oh dear, I apologize! And you're right, yes.
I'm just trying to imagine what it would look like with Twilight...
All hail the mighty Sew Me
You need a pre-reader
People should vote for Spike. It'd be nice for him to win a race for a change.
What love triangle?
Spike.
go to 1:46 and you will get the refrence :D
2622482
I think you have the order wrong. It's
I think that's right.
Is it her 'time of the month' again?
Oh, Rainbow, you so silly
oh spike, rainbow gets jelly when you hang out with vinyl scratch in the middle of the night.
2701146 Apparently.
Ah, no. Now a want the next chapter too.
2704516
Emotes can spread emotions far and wide,
It can even be used by the wise,
But does that you mean you are God?
No! You are just a shod!
Random poem about emotes. Seriously, what did you mean by that comment? Now I'm curious.
2704091 Well, if society is not busy shoving events up my arsehole, I'll try to get the next chapter up.
SpikeDash....YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2736976 *cough* *cough* Spike's Rainbow Dash *cough*
Man, this flu is affecting me harder than I thought. Wouldn't you agree, MALLAJONG?
way to jump to conclusions dash