Mirth
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Hmm. Interesting. No obvious mistakes. Nice setup. Taking a different direction than most fics, without becoming Cupcakes. Tracked.
Holy sheet.
207282
Thanks, I kinda got a little tired of having humans without a dark past in HiE stories.
I'll keep em' coming, as I'm working on chapter 2 right now.
207299>>207299
Was actually originally gonna have him use the bed sheet instead of the curtains, I just thought it would be funnier, as curtains are a bit more expensive.
207349 Almost all of them have the main Character have a mediocre life at home, and either they are complete jerks or friend to all living things. It refreshing to see a shade of grey.
My opinion is a hero's fall from grace or an evil character's redemption are much more compelling than simply a black and white storyline. If characters don't change or react in unexpected ways, the story gets kind of stale.
I hope people enjoy this, keep sending feedback.
Hmm... Someone just gave me a crappy rating. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't, but for the LOVE OF GOD, please comment and explain WHY!
I like it. It's interesting, and the new take on things is pretty cool. Overalll, the concept is a great one, and well executed at that.
207613
Thanks, I'm really glad that people are enjoying this, seeing as it just barely started.
I will have chapter 2 up tomorrow, and possibly chapter 3 if I finish it tonight.
Yay!
Chapter 2 is UP! Boom shaka laka.
*Sings SOns of Skyrim in glee*
Finally, a story where the human ISN'T affected by the stare!
214574
Yep, hehe. "WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT, WOMAN?!"
I like this story so far. Just one problem. Paragraphs. Use them more often, especially for speech.
214753
Noted. Damn iPods make it hard to do, and my bloody Microsoft word won't indent my paragraphs. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
Next chapter gonna have some interaction with-
Pinkie Pie: DON'T SPOIL IT!
Gah! Where the hell'd you come from?
214898 Ah. So your using an iPod. That explains it. I also know your pain. I type most of comments out on mine, and it's annoying as hell. I can only imagine how hard it is to type a full story out on one.
Really enjoying this so far but can you please break up your speech more?
It makes it hard to tell who is talking, and when they stop.
215816 Yurp. Maybe for huge conversations I'll do something like this:
Dylan: Wazzup!
PP: Pancakes!
Dylan: What are you-
Etcetera, etcetera.
Also, loving all the tracks and faves. I just wish more people would see this, I haven't even got to the good stuff yet.
I might change the rating to Mature, seeing as some of the ideas
I have in mind for the story are pretty DARK.
215849
That would make it a lot easier to follow, other than that, I love the idea of this story so far.
Can't wait for the next chapter, seeing as how this guy doesn't exactly seem to be an evil bearer of an element of disharmony.
Good day and have a mustache.
216752
Oh how wrong you are, my friend.
The moustaches have been doubled!
217260
I have a feeling this may also be somewhat oh a long story, seeing as how I'm assuming there will be 6 bearers of the elemts of disharmony, an opposite for each that the mane 6 wield.
217736
Good GOD. Quadruple moustaches!
Yes, as the description says, six bearers for the big ol' evil side.
I'm going to make it long, as I don't think I can cover the epic scale that I want for this story in a small amount of chapters.
CHAPTER THREE IS GOING UP RIGHT NOW, FILLIES AND COLTS!
Derp... uh... let me know if this needs Mature rating...
First off, THE PONIES NEED KNOWLEDGE OF ALL HUMAN CULTURES!
Second, SO MANY CHRISTIANS ON THIS WEBSITE! I FEEL SO ALONE!
Third, MOAR!
219050
Understood, my good- I wanna say atheist- friend.
The reason I only talked about it a little bit, is because he wasn't really in the mood for a looooong lesson on earth history. I will have him talk more about earth later.
As to your third note: HELL YEAH MOTHERBUCKER! It's on the way!
We need a pissed Dylan noowwwwwww, u
Made fluttershy cry? Dylan smash
219124
Fuck! Holy shit! Complete honesty, YOU JUST FUCKING PLOT RADARED ME! How did you know I was gonna do that?!
219132
this isnt the first time this happened, it was pretty obvious as i guessed it to be a flutter ship, hmm elemants of disharmony..... elemantssss, theres more guys with awesome powers ?
219412
Derp. Well duh, Fluttershy is just TOO DAMN NICE! I can't friggin' help it!
:D
Also, never said that the Elements of Disharmony were all carried by MALES.
Chew on that spoiler for a bit.
219475
hehehehheheheheheheh, i like where that is going.... lemme guess youre gonna be typical and get a lesbo dash or something like that...... or are you.... man im drunk, this comment will come back to haunt me
219491
Funny, was also going to leave my own take on that whole "Dash likes girls." thing. I won't spoil anything, though.
Also, what the fuq does a lesbo dash have to do with female BotEoD (Bearers of the Elements of Disharmony)?
219558
i have no idea.............
219567
Shit like that happens when you're drunk.
Chapter 4 will have... MOAR FIGHTING! It's not even to the crazy bits yet!
P.S.: Why the hell haven't I had a chapter with no conflict yet? Because I AM A MAN! HIT SHIT, SHOOT SHIT, BURN SHIT, PREFERABLY DON'T EAT SHIT!!! Testosterooooooooooones!
Who needs alcohol to be crazy when you're like this normally?
I am awaiting elements of violence and deceit, discrimination ect.
Should prove interest methinks.
219677
I've got them all ready. I'm actually thinking of having you guys PM me some ideas for the other element bearers.
So far, we only have Rage, which is polar opposite (IMO) to Laughter.
I'll reveal the others soon.
I'm still working on the fourth chapter.
Grr... My brain hurts. Sorry I couldn't have chapter four up, but Tuesday was busy.
After I stop the jackhammer in my head, I'll get it up, I swear.
Don't kill me.
Hmm... the Element of Rage ? Anger ? Hatred ? ... anyways, as good as always ! keep up the great work.
FUCKING OWNED
a kickass main caractor.......gilda getting slaughtered.....humans and discord in the same fic............THIS STORY ROCKS!
i think im in love
tracking 
p.s. MOAR!
moral of the story: fluttershy's new pet dylan is not to be fucked with.................
223857
Yep, RAGE!
@DavidPony: Yes, and this isn't the end of the awesomeness. Remember, Dylan is one of SIX.
@derpy von muffins: You got that right, bro.
Jeez, looking back now, I can't believe I made such a crazy, violent, dark fanfic about TALKING PONIES. But, what the hell, people like it, right?
Next chapter will be a little less intense. I need to cool down on the mental violence. My head was throbbing like crazy last night.
Aaaand now he's a werewolf.
I'd normally untrack something like this, but seeing Gilda being torn to shreds made me CHANGE MY MIND.
PLEASE MAY ONE OF THE SIX OF DISHARMONY BE A VOODOO GUY!
224439
Kinda discriminatory, don't you think? :P
He's actually a hellhound, not a werewolf. Besides, look at my name. Was it not obvious that I am a werewolf myself? :D
Not a werewolf checklist GO GO JAMBA JUICE!
1. Does not change on full moon.
2. Not affected by silver.
3. Doesn't spread lycanthropy.
4. Never bitten by said lycanthropes.
5. Doesn't have a Team Dylan.
6. HE'S ON FIRE.
7. Demonic.
8. Werewolves are cool anyways.
And Gamzee, that fits PERFECTLY with one of the elements. I'm gonna be taking character ideas for the other five bearers via PM soon.
P.S. I'd murder Gilda IRL. No shit. She's gotta pay. KFG, anyone?
Eh, this story is still really great! But Gilda needed to die.