The entire Mare Do Well event has left Rainbow Dash more emotionally scarred than her friends would have thought. With Twilight's help Rainbow begins to move down the path to recovery, but when her trust in her friends is called into question, will she be able to let go of what happened and move on? Or, will Rainbow lose who is quickly becoming the most important pony in her life?
My entry for the TwiDash group's first ever fanfiction contest! The rules can be found here.
Editing done by The Abyss & DarqFox
Pre-read by Nuukor
Cover art by bats
Chapters (3)
Does it still count as platonic friends if twi already has feelings for dash at the start?
A very nice start, can't wait for more!
Moar!
2551281
I second this motion.
What do you mean only three parts!!!!! This is to damn good for only three. Oh well i can't wait till the next chapter.
No, it was justified by the fact that she was repeatedly putting lives in danger. When stories like this don't acknowledge that, they're no better than the episode itself in my book. Downvoting for now.
2551477
I'm not sure if "repeatedly" is entirely accurate. If I recall correctly she did endanger one pony's life when Mare Do Well first arrived by waiting to the very last minute signing autographs instead of dropping everything to stop the hot air balloon. By my memory she was just beginning to endanger others by the time Mare Do Well showed up, meaning the scheme was hatched beforehand. Afterwards when she went kinda nuts it was because of MDW, at least in my eyes. If I'm wrong, please correct me.
I also don't believe that is was ever justified for them to do what they did in the first place. Instead of being upfront with her and at least trying to communicate with her, they go behind her back with MDW to upstage her. But if you don't like my story thus far, I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy it.
2551153>>2551281>>2551348
The next parts are currently in my workshop for edits. I shall soon have them finished for all of you great people out there. :3
<3 DarqFox
2551514 actually if you go back and watch the episode, you'll notice that when rainbow saves those falling old pony's, for the first time she starts showboating before she has saved somepony. You'll also notice that they were very close to hitting the ground before rainbow caught them, and they may have very well hit the ground if she was only a couple second latter, which wouldn't have been a problem if she at least saved the showboating until after she saved them. this also happens to be when twi and them first start to show disaprovel at her showboating. As well latter when they are at the construction site, despite the workers being in immediate danger, Rainbow was adamant to get that stupid catchphrase out before she would actually try and save the workers. and of course all of this is in addition to the bit with the falling hot air balloon. Now don't take this as me defending Twilight and them, because what they did was horrible and inexcusable. However I feel that a lot of what Rainbow did was also horrible and inexcusable, and I hate when the fandom completely ignores, or forgets that.
on a more positive note, despite my complaint above, this story is really good so far and it's defiantly getting a fav.
We very much approve! We wish for thou to continue thy story with great hast, thou hast excellent writing style and we look forward to thy next scroll.
*Places error into comment log*
*Runs away*
2551514 2551721 We also see her carelessly toss aside the foal she just rescued once the photographers show up, and her attempt at personally stopping the dam from bursting instead of alerting the appropriate authorities just escalated the disaster.
2551721 2551812
I very much understand where both of you are coming from, but I must point out that the construction site scene and the dam scene were done after Mare Do Well had appeared and, at least in my mind, drove Rainbow Dash over the edge.
My point in my earlier comment was that before Mare Do Well showed up, she did not endanger the lives of many ponies, the exception being the hot air balloon scene where she waited until the last minute. But, by this point when her boasting was actually starting to be a risk, Mare Do Well had already been planned by her friends.
Sure in earlier scenes she started boasting (which was entirely intolerable to watch), but nobody really had a problem with it (exception being her friends) and she wasn't endangering lives. Rainbow Dash did some inexcusable things, I never forget this, but this was done in a half-crazed effort to try and prove that she was better than MDW. This is just my opinion based on re-watching the episode a few times in preparation for this fic, please correct me or discuss this further if you think I'm wrong. I'm always open to the discussion.
I like Twidash and all those raw emotions were pretty well-written. I think the Mare Do Well episode was a bit weird, too with the way even Applejack the element of Honesty was fine with lying to Rainbow Dash and undermining her fragile self-confidence.
Even so, I never felt the need for a follow-up on that particular episode. I've known my friends in real life for more than 10 years and after a certain point, I've come to realise that almost any mistake can be excused, no matter how grave. They never meant to hurt Rainbow Dash so badly and in time, she'd come to understand that, too. What's done is done and it's better to move on and keep your friends, because they still are your friends. The emotional backfire was unintended.
2551135
As a contest judge, I'll say it's more about the relationship dynamic than the feelings behind said dynamic. Despite Twi's feelings, at the start of this story all of the characters, Twilight and Rainbow Dash themselves included, would describe their relationship as one of friends.
On an unrelated note, it's pretty nifty seeing my art on a fic in the feature box attached to someone else's work.
Basically the entire premise of this fic is based on a misinterpretation of the episode in question due to how poorly written and presented the episode was.
2551477
2551721
No, Dash did not risk anypony's lives. She would have had no problem stopping the balloon in time. She is not they type to risk lives. As for the later disasters, the "moral" goes out the window since Dash would have had no way to deal with them at all, and honestly, her friends would have needed to help in the capacities they did as MDW anyway. Dash was not strong enough to deal with the cart, no capable of saving that many ponies at the construction site, and underqualified to assist with the dam. Yet she still tried to help in those scenarios. I would call that "heroic", not reckless and endangering lives.
2551885
2552126
As for what her friends did. The were not in any way trying to upstage her to "take her down a notch". They were showing her how a proper hero should act. Anonymous so as not to garner personal fame, humble to show they are doing a duty, and only making public appearances for the sake of the people, not their own egos. They only wanted to show Dash how to do it "right". And her big mistake was feeling entitled to what she was given to the point that people giving attention to someone who had saved lives actually made her jealous.
It is only us, from the outside, that interpret things this way. Internally within the show, Dash understood the actual message and her friends' intentions. The reason she stopped being angry at MDW when she discovered who MDW was is because she would have never been upset if it had been her friends "upstaging" her in the first place.
2551885
This completely glosses over a very important point of the episode: That Rainbow was so arrogant that she couldn't fathom anypony else being a hero. And that was way way before Mare-Do-Well was introduced.
In fact, it's precisely the point at which her friends hatch their plot:
Quoted directly from the episode.
So, I have a hard time feeling all that sorry for her. Especially since her "humiliation" is self-inflicted, because she's so used to the limelight that she just can't stand having to share any of it.
Almost no fic ever mentions that. And they should.
2552479 Can't we just agree that every single one of them was a huge douche in that episode? Because they were. Every single lesson in that episode is kinda shit.
2552498 Eh yeah. The whole episode is kinda one big fracas. Rainbow Dash is suddenly hopelessly irresponsible with responsibility she shouldn't have in the first place (seriously, she's a weather maker, not rescue worker). Ponyville is suddenly beset by a bevy to life-threatening disasters. Rainbow Dash's friends arbitrarily decide to go behind her back and show her up in order to teach her a lesson in humility, which kinda works at first because the whole point of the thing is that Mare-Do-Well gets stuff done and leaves without wallowing in praise and glory right up until Fluttershy starts doing a flyby becasue...publicity, I guess (not to mention showing up for the parade at the end). This is why I tend to write the whole episode off in my headcanon as an attempt by the CMC to get their creative writing cutie marks that worked about just as well as anything else they tried.
2552456I agree with most of what you wrote, except that at least once she did endanger lives.
Look back at the whole dam episode: She could've flown off to get some help who'd actually know how to deal with the problem instead of feeling like she had to act like the chosen one. Even so, let's give her a pass on this!
Next, she shoved her hoof into the hole, thereby making the problem worse. Let's still give her a pass on this, because she probably couldn't have known that what she just did made things worse!
But right after that, she takes her hoof away from the hole to pat herself on the back. Literally.
Let that sink in: She pulled the plug (a.k.a. her hoof) that she herself just put in because she needed it to physically congratulate herself. Not because she had to leave. Not because she realised that her plan wouldn't work. Because she just needed to have somepony pat her on the back so badly that, for lack of anypony else to do so, she did it herself.
That's either terribly irresponsible, or plain stupid.
2552498
Maybe. Up until Fluttershy's flyby, as moguera mentioned, it wasn't really all that mean- that, however, was unneccessary.
2552126 I agree, though any mistake, if grave enough, can lead to some hurt and tension for quite some time. Forgiveness doesn't happen right away, but it does happen almost always. Almost.
2552456 2552479 2552498 2552626 2551812 2551721
I had no idea writing this would have opened up a Pandora's Box of comments. I'm not sure whether to be impressed with the amount of time each of you has taken to voice your own opinion, or scared. There are a couple of things that I really want to point out that I think some of you might be missing.
1) I really despise the MDW episode in itself. Every single character in that episode was warped and distorted in some way and were practically OC-ed.
2) This is very, very important for everyone to understand: RD didn't start reacting badly/getting angry/however you want to phrase it until after her friends asked her to cover up for them like it was no big deal. It's fair to say that, regardless of how you interpret the episode, Dash's pride was stung by the end. Being asked to create a cover story was a major blow to her already stung pride. This was the catalyst for Dash's meltdown, regardless of everybody's varying interpretations of the episode.
That being said thank you all for your comments and input. If you're sticking around to follow the rest of the story, I sincerely hope you won't be disappointed!
2552479 Not to mention if MDW wasn't there, the pony in the balloon would have died. Dash was milking the fame so much that she arrived to late to save the mare, then got caught up in the balloon and ended up crashing anyway. That sure screams hero to me.
So yeah, everyone was a bit of a dick in that episode, putting it lightly.
2552456
I'd have to disagree with your first assertion.
Rainbow Dash failed UTTERLY in "stopping the balloon in time" due to her own vanity. MDW did absolutely nothing to affect the fall of the balloon, merely getting the passenger out the basket in time. RD - due entirely to her own delays, then crashed into the balloon (and then the tree and ground) several seconds later .
Unfortunately - that is pretty CLEARLY risking the balloonist's life - as even if things had gone exactly to Rainbow's plan - Rainbow STILL would've missed the balloonist and the balloon would've hit both the ground and the tree anyways...
In my book (for this episode at least), Rainbow was "risking lives" for that and the following incident with the cart and the cliff - by overestimating her abilties to stop the incident and delaying unncessarily. So yeah - sadly - she was indeed "that type of person" for this episode. Luckily though, at least she appears to have learned her lesson (see "Wonderbolt Academy" - where she DIDN'T self aggrandize first and rescue second...)
Otherwise though - I totally agree with the rest of your post. Rainbow was acting heroic, her friends were merely trying to show her by example, etc...
Frankly the episode was absolutely shit and in a real world setting would be a great way to realize your friends aren't friends at all. I'm actually really pumped for this fic. I've had this episode on my mind anytime someone talks about Dash being a bitch or a gloating airhead. I think a more real life portrayal is long over-due.
2552701
Because we should all assume that a tine drip in a concrete wall should explode with no warning.
2552702
I agree that the episode portrayed it's characters terribly and that it presented it's moral very opaquely, and that your fic has additional factors to drive it's plot. But all said and done, your fic does not acknowledge the actual canon of that episode and it's moral and repercussions. It's all headcanon. Based on your dislike of the way an episode was presented, rather than the actual canon of the episode.
And why would they want to cover it up? They are all already heroes, have all had media attention that has faded in time, and Dash and MDW's behavior is public record.
2552736
Except that Dash and the balloon landed perfectly fine. She altered it's downward momentum into horizontal and the fall was slowed and broken by the tree. I agree she should have saved the pony immediately and then worried about autographs, which is why the MDW ploy was important to teach her the right way to go about heroics, but I disagree that the pony would have been in any serious danger if MDW hadn't intervened.
Besides, MDW hurled herself at a falling object, grabbed a pony out of the basket while leaping, and then fell a great distance with that pony, risking both their lives.
2552783
I'd dare say that Dash being UNDER the crashed balloon, parts of the balloon being wrapped around the tree twice, and the basket canted in a manner highly indicative that the pony in it probably would've been pitched out is not "landing perfectly fine". But that's just me...
As far as MDW "risking lives" - I never said she didn't. But seeing as her plan of "get the balloonist, get out" worked as planned - with both the MDW and the balloonist on the ground fine - I'll have to give her the benefit of the doubt...
I get the funny feeling the rest of Ponyville isn't going to let MDW slide...
Alright took me a while to get around to it, but I finally read this! And all I can say is... I don't think my fic will be beating this. I mean, bravo man, bravo. Not sure it's the best one that will be entered, but it's certainly very well done, and I'm looking forward to that other chapters!
In other news, you may want to go back and edit this, saw a few awkward sentences dotted about, but nothing too bad.
2553531
Aww, thanks, you flatter me! I seriously am looking forward to your entry for this contest. Though I share your concerns. While I am happy with this, I'm not sure it'll beat some of the competition out there. As for the edits...I may just do that. I blame uni, Comic Con, and the fact that this is for a contest for my lack of time to go over it more
congrats on the Feature, mate.
2552783
Did Rainbow believe it was a threat? I'd say that she did. And she was right.
2552702
That's what usually happens with the premise. I dare say most of the folks currently engaged have been on one side or other of the exact same issue with other stories on this site.
And you're right. Rainbow didn't start right out with a breakdown- that came later.
I can also understand Twilight and her better here than in pretty much any other story that uses this backdrop- because here, Rainbow isn't all about how she was "betrayed" or "backstabbed", but how feeling like she was makes her unsure about how to approach the others; because she's afraid she might blow up at them, and they won't take kindly to it and abandon her for real.
And Twilight I can see being very understanding and basically not defending herself. Too often it's all the girls falling all over themselves to show how wrong and mean and evil they were, and- well, not defending themselves one bit. And it's grating, because, while I don't think all of it was necessary, most what they did wasn't bad at all. And they could reasonably assume that Rainbow Dash wouldn't carry any hard feelings (canonically, they were right).
Most often it's an awfully lopsided showing. There was one particular example that had Rainbow accuse her friends of endangering lives- yes, the very same friends who dragged her out of the water after she nearly got herself drowned- and running off with Gilda. And that was presented as a good thing. So, some of us might be overly sensitive to the subject, and I'm afraid it stopped being about this, your actual, story very early; for which I'd like to apologise.
2553663
) turned into a debate about the episode itself.
I recognize that the whole MDW episode is a really touchy issue for a lot of people who follow the show. And there are no hard feelings regarding the comments and the story. I found it interesting to watch how one comment about my story (and downvoting it too
This is largely where the focus on the episode itself ends for this fic, and hopefully the upcoming part won't disappoint.
2553718
I'll definitely read on. I want to see what happens next!
2553663
Actually I always assumed it was more her grasping for straws to perform "heroics" and she never assumed it was a real threat.
I also find it hilarious that there's another story in the Feature box with almost the exact same plot
damn good start. and I mean damned good!
2553731 I will do my very best to not disappoint! Expect the next update tomorrow/early Saturday.
2553970 Yeah, Subsolar's story is quite good. It was written for the same contest this was, though his is much more adorable and cute
2554055 Thank you! I really means a lot!
I love it
2552456
No, they were screwing her over.
Instead of TALKING TO HER, they decided to dress up in a garish purple costume and run around town grandstanding and upstaging her. The "be modest and humble" lesson was lost the instant they did that. It was curbstomped when they started praising Mare-Do-Well in front of Rarity just to rub it in.
2555163
Don't agree and not going to argue the point.
I already know we don't see eye to eye on a great many things.
2555171
The video embed feature is crappy. You need to only paste in the serial code at the end.
Was interested until I realized this is a TwiDash fic.
Shame really, it actually seems like it'd be an enjoyable read.
2554742 Yay!
2555163 2555181 I'm not sure if I should be impressed or frightened that this debate is still going on...I seriously had no idea MDW was such a touchy issue with so many people.
2555922 Umm, I'm sorry that you didn't enjoy it because it is a TwiDash fic, but you realize the description says this is was written for a contest in the TwiDash Group right? I linked the rules and everything, so you did have fair warning.
2556285
Unsurprising, considering how it ended. It only comes second to "Babs seed" in how badly it failed with its morality message.
2556429 At least One Bad Apple had a catchy musical montage. The entire episode was a train wreck. Wonderbolt Academy is the only one I can think of that wasn't, out of Merriweather Willaims', honestly.
Also, while Dash is my least favourite pony on show, this story really makes me feel for her and her plight. You make her character so much more raw and vulnerable and relatable than the show writers. Please keep doing what you're doing.
2552702
But you have Twilight worry about the fact that Dash was hurt after their reveal, yet only after she happily asked Dash to cover for them? One that isn't rationalized because Twilight could just as easily have taken the costumes and teleported them god knows where...
All in all, this is going to get a downvote from me.
I admire the fact that you tried the mare-do-well thing, but it really doesn't work well like this.
There's tense problems here and there, but the biggest thing for me is how non-nonsensical it all is. Dash forgives easily and isn't angry when they reveal themselves, she even does as asked when Twilight tells her to distract the town with a huge smile on their face.
The town believing Dash just like that, after she took off with the intent of catching Mare-do-well, and coming back saying that their 'hero' is gone? They'd lynch her.
Then there's the rest of the six, apparently all having had their eyes gouged out which makes them unable to see what Dash is feeling (Dash isn't to good at hiding her emotions) and Twilight who freaks out only after Dash's verbal tirade.
This actually made me laugh with how incredibly stupid it is.
2557044 While it is true that Twilight could have done this, it is also equally true that Rainbow could have flown off with the costumes or they could have simply left them in the alley in a dumpster and just walked away. There are several directions that could be taken, and I went with a cover story for the purposes of this fic.
2557072
And I'm saying, the cover story is the only one that doesn't make sense. I edited my original post a little, take a look.
2557044 I respectfully disagree, and am sorry that you didn't like the story. But I would like to address a few things if I may.
This part is coming right out of the episode itself, not necessarily from my fic. I didn't want to alter what actually takes place in the show.
My rationale for this is why wouldn't the town believe her? She hasn't done very much to make them doubt her. If I'm wrong please correct
Ow. Was that really necessary?
All in all I am sorry that you didn't like what I wrote. Thank you for telling me why you downvoted this at the very least.
2557133
I agree with you there, but that's not my point. I know that in the show everything ends fine and dandy, but even if Dash manages not to blow a fuse over what they did to her immediately, she would be less than receptive to Twilight telling her to make a fool of herself, possibly blowing up at Twilight right then and there.
If you look at the episode, the ponies are shocked that Dash is acting as hostile as she is when she shows up at the parade. They have a new hero, and have all been talking about how Mare-do-well is better than Dash because she doesn't ask for praise and the like.
If Dash comes back, telling them she's chased Mare-do-well and that their new 'hero' won't be coming back. Fear and indignation would most certainly guide their actions against the perpetrator: Dash.
My apologies, I didn't mean to insult. But it simply sounded so ridiculous. Twilight saying that implies that she had no clue before. More than that, it implies that she's intellectually retarded. You cannot realistically pull a stunt like that and expect the target to be 'just fine'