Grey Little Pony

by Dusty Miller

The Great And Powerful Grey

Nothing’s impossible if you just put your mind to it.

--Oz.

Visible in the centre of the Everfree Forest, is a crescent shaped scar. It is a scar as it is not Everfree. It is situated in an open grassy field, a place where the larger Everfree creatures-monsters teach their young to fly. At the south end, close to the river, Princess Luna has dropped a small palace. A solitary, common earth pony stands guard.

Through several of Luna's challenges and Alicorn-fired miracles, this ordinary pony has grown into a Knight of the Guard of Equestria. Yet, he prefers to sleep outside the palace, under a tree.

One evening, Luna emerged out of the palace and strolled down the field. Since she was not flying, Grey understood that he was meant to follow her. Luna arrived at the end of the field with Grey following behind and to her left. They started on the trail to Ponyville then suddenly they had arrived at the end of the road entering town. Grey presumed that such things happened through magic. It was apparent by the noise that Ponyville was in the midst of the Nightmare Night celebration.

Luna stopped and turned to Grey. Something settled on his head and back. He was confused; was it a big purple hat, and a cloak or, a cape? Luna smiled and said. “There you go. You’re all set.”

“No big entrance this year, Princess?”

"I dislike routine. This Nightmare Night I plan to sneak up behind ponies and enjoy their reaction."

They walked to the centre of Ponyville and stopped in front of the town hall.

“This is your post for tonight. You will stand guard here until further notice.” Princess Luna spotted a young colt in a home-made pirate outfit. “You! Squeak of the Pip, did I not see that costume last year? To use the same disguise in sequential celebrations, is a breach of Nightmare Night etiquette. You are in so much trouble! I shall devour your tail and your candy, not necessarily in that order!” Pipsqueak squealed with delight and ran away with Luna scampering after him.

Grey was surprised. She's having fun! I've never seen this side of her. Why is she showing me this? Is this a lesson?

He accepted that it wasn’t a bad spot to be because he could see most of the activities and games. Just like when I lived here, in the background.

Ponies walking by smiled or snickered at Grey. Once the townsfolk became accustomed to him being there, they laughed out loud. Some ask Grey to do a trick. He wrongly assumed they meant trick, as in ‘trick or treat’.

Pinkie Pie bounced up to him. “Oh! I have just the right accoutrement thingie for your costume.” She ran to the Cake’s bakery and returned in a pink streak. She had a small blue birthday party hat with an elastic string which she put on Grey’s forehead.

“Pinkie, what is this costume?”

“You don’t know? Ha ha! that’s so funny.”

“I hate the hat. What is it?”

Applejack overheard Grey's comment and gave him the one eye stare. “What was that now? You hate hats.”

“No, not yours. Just this one.”

Pinkie smirked. “He doesn’t know about Trixie.”

“Ha ha! That is funny. Serves you right hat hater.”

“Applejack, you’re the honest one, you must tell me.”

“I ain’t a have to do any such thing. Come on Pinkie, let’s get come candy apples.”

Grey shouted “Can you bring me back one?” But they acted as if they were out of ear shot.

By this time there was candy everywhere. There was one oval piece just out of reach. Grey leaned forward trying to get it with his teeth. A small foal watched. “Hey kid, I dropped my treat, can you pass it to me?” The foal just stood there chewing.

Rainbow Dash emerged from the shadows. “No pony gets candy for being rude. Why don’t you pick it up?”

“I don’t want it. It’s not good for you. There are no dentists in the Everfree Forest.”

“You can’t move, can you? Ha ha, loser.”

“I’m a special guard pony. I can do anything I want. I can even talk while on duty. See.”

Grey lifted each leg one at a time. “I can go anywhere I want.”

“Ha ha! wait ‘til I tell everypony.”

“No, don’t, please! comeback, who is Trixie?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders came over dressed as the Musketeers.

“What’s ya doin?”

“I am standing guard at my post.”

“That’s not a scary costume. You’d think someone from the Everfree Forest would have a better outfit. What do you think of Nightmare Night?”

“I live in the forest of the monsters. Nothing scares me.”

“Oh yah. Remember when we gave you that makeover and you couldn’t do thing one to prevent it.” Sweetie Belle reminded him.

Scootaloo interrupted, “Sir Grey, can you teach us how to sword fight?”

“Sure, just give me a mouthful of candy from each of your bags.”

“Why haven’t you gotten any?” Asked Apple Bloom.

“I have to stand guard here. I can’t move.”

“Wait, if you can’t move how are you going to teach us how to sword fight?”

“I’ll talk you through it.”

Apple Bloom mumbled, “His big mouth full of our candy. Too expensive. Let’s go.”

“Come closer, I promise not to bite you, much.”

“Your costume requires some lipstick, don't ya think?” Sweetie Belle levitated a small red tube towards Grey's face. He let a low growl escape his throat.

The mane on the backs of the girls’ necks rose. “Not cool, Grey.” They said in unison.

“He’s being bad. Let’s go tell Fluttershy.” The girls decided.

Twilight Sparkle and Spike came over. "This is just too precious.”

Spike added, “I heard he can’t move ether.”

“Spike, please remember to bring the camera with us on our next circuit around town. I only ever saw tourists taking pictures with guard ponies. But now, I want some goofy photographs of Sir Jerk and myself. I’m going to make faces at you while Spike takes the picture and there’s not a thing you can do about it.”

Grey decided not to counter with a face joke and asked, “Twilight, what's with all the purple hats and costumes?”

“It's the theme this year. Group costumes, the six of us are The Mysterious Mare Do Wells. The purple is just a coincidence. Come along Spike, time for candy.”

“I hate purple,” muttered Grey.

Twilight swooshed her blue, purple and rose streaked tail at his face as she turned away.

Rarity saw this and came over to explain. “Sir Grey, I’m so sorry everypony is being mean to you tonight. Allow me to tell you the story of The Great and Powerful Trixie…

Grey said. “Wow, Twilight is smart and powerful. No wonder she doesn’t think much of me.”

“That is simply not true. She’s your friend.”

“I’m sorry, I can't get past that.”

The gang of Mysterious Mare Do Wells came over and began to tease Grey. “Show us some magic oh great and powerful one.”

Fluttershy stomped her hoof silently, “I’m sorry everypony please stop teasing my poor boyfriend.” She smiled shyly. “I was hoping that was my job. Grey, have you been paid yet? I need some money for the charity kissing booth. Big Macintosh is working there and I’m out of bits. Unless you want to go for a walk with me, alone?”

“Fluttershy, I thought you stayed in your cottage all Nightmare Night.”

“Um, I do, usually, but every year is different. This time we are all heroes together and it is um, good bravery practice for me. The charity is for orphaned animals. The best charity ever!”

“So, I would be giving you money so you could go kiss Big Mac and then you get the money back because it is your charity. I’d think this is the best teasing game ever, if I wasn’t in the middle of it.”

Luna noticed the large group of ponies gathering around Grey. “Guard pony, why is it wherever you go, there is chaos. Perhaps I chose the wrong costume for you. Come along, I’m taking my leave.”

“No.” Fluttershy blushed. “I'm sorry, Grey, stay and have some candy then we can be alone for a little while.”

Luna smiled at Fluttershy and she smiled at her hooves. She spoke to Fluttershy, “Guard pony, you are with me, let us depart.”
“I’m sorry.” Fluttershy pawed the ground. “I just remembered I have some mad money squirreled away I can use at the kissing booth. Big Mac is so handsome today.” The crowd went “Wooooo.”

“What an interesting set of circumstances, guard pony. You seem conflicted by your duty to your princess and your love. What ever are you going to do?”

Why didn’t the Everfree forest eat me when it had the chance? Think! Use the costume. Be that unicorn. Grey closed his eyes and frowned. Wrinkling his face and gritted his teeth, his lips pulled back as his head tilted. Please, Luna, can you hear me? I give you permission to read my thoughts. Please help me. Do something. Make me disappear or invisible. Please get me out of here.

The paper birthday hat on Grey’s forehead glowed. Grey disappeared in a flash of light and sparkles, and then appeared at the far end of the crowd. “You! You saved me? You hate me!”
Twilight answered. “Of course I saved you. And I don't hate anypony. I saw how mean they were being and I understood your plan and I’d thought it would be funny. And I have a plan.” Twilight whispered in Grey’s ear.

Grey walked through the crowd of astonished ponies sans costume. “Hey everypony, did I miss anything? Fluttershy, my most beautiful girlfriend.” He kissed her several times. “Sorry I’m still not kissed out even after working the kissing booth all night. Did you like my Big Macintosh disguise? Applejack, you didn’t get a kiss. Mmmmchwaaa!”

“Phffff, yuk.” She whipped her mouth with her fetlock. “That were ’n three types of gross.”

“Love the hat by the way.”

When Luna and Grey had left town, “Before you become too full of yourself, I know precisely what happened. I know who helped you win that teasing game.” She said.

Grey answered smugly, “I have absolutely no idea what you mean, my princess. You know I have never won a teasing game. My princess wished me to be a unicorn so I became one.”

“It is an established fact that ponies of Equestrian Guard do not tell lies.”

“Again I have no idea what you mean. And did I not see you in line at Big Mackintosh’s kissing booth?”

“Another obvious falsehood.” Luna’s voice was sweet as candy, “Everypony knows that princesses do not stand in line.”

Author's Note: