Grey Little Pony

by Dusty Miller

To Date Fluttershy

“People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other’s personalities.

Who wouldn’t? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person.

But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws?

Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that.

I can make something out of it.’? Because the good stuff is always going to be there,

and it’s always going to pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage.

Just as Grey was about to knock on Fluttershy’s door, it opened a crack.
“I'm so sorry Grey, but I've had a minor crisis and I can't have you here tonight. There was a slight fire; we'll reschedule if that's all right.” The dogs and cats were pushing the door open as Fluttershy tried to close it. Grey thought to himself. Don't let her get away. She will never reschedule. She's embarrassed. Grey spoke through the flowers in his mouth. “Fire? Did you say fire? I'm a knight, and I’m a fire fighter as far as you know.”

Grey helped the animals push open the door and walked into the kitchen. He put the flowers down on the table. The animals followed and stared up at him. There was a wisp of smoke rising from the frying pan that had been placed beside an open window. “I'm so sorry, I ruined dinner. Let's try again later.” “No, no, watch this.” Grey flipped a spatula and scraped the frying pan. He loosened a dumpling and lifted it to his mouth.

“Listen.” Fluttershy heard Grey munch on the dumpling. “Mmm. You have no idea what cooked food means to me. Seriously, I’ve never had a real home-cooked meal. By the way, did you know that your floor is covered with fur and eyes?” “I'm sorry, I thought I’d try to be fancy with the food. While I was explaining to all of them what would happen tonight, the dumplings burned. Then you were at the door; I panicked a little.”

“What is the tail with eyes called?” “That is a mink. Feel how soft she is.” Fluttershy put the mink around Grey’s neck. The mink rubbed her face against Grey’s and smiled. “Look at her teeth. She’s a carnivore.” “So are cats and dogs. Some ponies think you’re a carnivore.” “I’m not, you know. You can tell by my flat teeth, and by my smile. What do you feed them?” “A fish mash that I make myself. I don’t think you would like it.”

The table was set and salads, fruits and vegetables were laid out in bowls. Fluttershy scraped the dumplings onto two plates, put the pan in the sink, and sat down. “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot the sour cream.” She stood and went to the icebox. She retrieved a bowl and set it on the table. Grey was standing when she returned. “Sorry, but you don't have to do that. It’s my job to make you feel welcome and relaxed.” “My manners are set on high. And I’m terribly nervous.” They ate in silence as the animals watched the stranger.

Grey elbowed a small piece of dumpling to the corner of the table. He gave it a nudge and it fell into the dog’s mouth with a slight chomp. “I'm sorry, but I know every noise in this house, and I know every sound that the animals make. I told you that they have been fed, and that they are merely curious about you. I asked you not to feed the animals from the table. Some of our food is not healthy for them. That’s why it’s the house rule.” “It got us talking, so how can you be mad at me if you’re smiling? I accept all the blame. I will help with the dishes.” “Not at all, you’re my guest and I have a house full of adorable dishwashers.” “Are you telling me that these dishes have been licked clean by your animals? That was my dream job when I was a street sweeper in Ponyville.” Fluttershy said “Let’s have our tea in the living room and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

/]*[\

A snort echoed through the room. “What?” Grey woke on the couch covered with animals. Fluttershy was sitting in a chair across from him.

“Last thing I remember, a bunny yawned, and I laughed. It was like a mini silent bucktoothed roar.” Fluttershy smiled at him while she petted the cat on her lap. “I’m sorry, but I’ve decided that you need animal therapy. You’re not getting the deep sleep you need. It’s getting dark and it’s time for you to scamper back home.” “I’m so sorry that I fell asleep on our date. Did I ruin it?” “Oh, and I thought I ruined it by burning the dumplings. Let’s agree to make our next date better.” “I would like to see some baby birds before I go. Are they cute like all baby animals?”“Either you are stalling, or the real reason you came here was to play with the animals, to eat my food, and to fall asleep. I’m throwing you out on your tail, mister.”“I am stalling, and I’ve never seen a baby bird. But what I would really like to see is you throwing me out on my tail.”

Fluttershy nudged Grey to the door with tiny little pushes of her hooves. He reacted as if she was much stronger than she, and he allowed Fluttershy to push him outside. “Shoo fly, I’m sorry, but this is the wrong season for baby birds, and they’re cute in their own way, just like you. I mean, it’s getting dark. Time for all sleepyhead ponies to go home.” Fluttershy smiled at Grey as she closed the door. Grey leaned on the outside of the door while Fluttershy leaned on the inside.

He sighed, “We missed the sunset. Thank you for a wonderful evening. I feel very relaxed right now, and it is a little easier to talk to you through this door. You know, I thought we had a thing going. Could we say goodbye with a goodnight kiss?” “Are you going to hold me hostage in my own cottage until you get what you want, mister?” “I did see a back door to your place, so no, I don’t think that will work.” “What if I screamed for help?” “I’ve never heard you talk louder than a whisper. How would you call your friends?”“I could send a message with a passenger pigeon?” “I would be so long gone. I’d hate to get caught by Applejack or Rainbow Dash. They would do such mean things to me.” Grey sniffed. “I’m sorry that a big strong knight is afraid of my girlfriends. I’m so shy, and I think all of Ponyville is watching. I will open the door and give you a kiss if you promise to keep your eyes closed. Promise?” “I swear.”

Grey received a kiss on the mussel that tickled his nose, and then he heard the door close.

“That was a most delightful kiss, Miss Fluttershy. But I wonder, which end of the bunny did I just kiss?” “Oh you are just terrible to insinuate such a thing. You wanted a kiss and you got one.” Fluttershy put the bunny down, petted its head and leaned on the door. “I look forward to our date at the palace.” “Date at the palace, good idea. Thank you for supper. Good night. Um, thank you.” Grey galloped off to prevent himself from saying ‘thank you’ again.

/]*[\

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew down and landed in front of the Everfree Forest Palace. Grey stood at attention on his rock by the stairs. Fluttershy stood facing Grey with her head down while Rainbow Dash marched back and forth in front of him. “Listen up, guard Door Stop! You are in the presence of a near Wonderbolt and of Ms. Fluttershy herself. You will act with the utmost decorum and chivalry. There will be no kissing. No hoof holding. No accidental misunderstandings that lead to any rolling in the hay.”

Whenever Rainbow Dash turned her back, Grey would roll his eyes at Fluttershy or stick out his tongue at Rainbow Dash while she was turned away. “Hey Fluttershy, I think I’d make a pretty awesome drill sergeant. What do you think?” Grey became very stiff. He shifted his weight to his right legs so his left legs lifted off the ground and he ended up leaning on the banister. “What are we going to do with you, Door Stop?” Grey relaxed and returned to his position, “Push-ups.” “What?” “A drill sergeant would make me do push-ups.” “All right then, push-ups it is!” “Yes Drill Sergeant! Right away, Drill Sergeant. How many push-ups, Drill Sergeant?” “All of them!”

Grey started doing push-ups on his rock. When Fluttershy was looking, he kicked his hind legs over his head and switched to foreleg push-ups. He kept his head up and smiled at Fluttershy.

“How about pony jumping jacks, Drill Sergeant.?” Grey started to jump with back legs together while his forelegs splayed. Then he reversed it for each jump. “Oh yah, try it with six limbs!” Rainbow Dash did the same exercise while flapping her wings and keeping her hooves off the ground. Grey looked up to see Fluttershy. “Ten-Hut!” He snapped to attention. “What? Oh, sorry Fluttershy, He kinda got me carried away.” Rainbow Dash caught Grey sticking his tongue out at her. “Such disrespect, I don't think I can leave Fluttershy with such a rude pony!”“It's okay, Fluttershy. It’s obvious that your father cares a lot for you.”“Gack! Fluttershy, do not enter this palace with this proven perverted pony. It’s his living quarters, after all. Stay outside. I think it’s safer in the Everfree Forest than to be alone with him in the palace.”
“That was my plan all along.” “You have a plan?” “Hey wait; I'm the knight, I’m not a Wonderbolt wannabe. Don’t worry Mr. Dash, I’ll take good care of Fluttershy.” Rainbow Dash turned to Fluttershy, “Are you going to be okay here?” “Oh yes, I’m sorry to bother you and to bring you all the way out here. I’m sure he will be a perfect gentle colt.” “One squeak of trouble, and I’ll be back in a flash. Count on it, Door Stop.” Rainbow Dash flew off.

Grey escorted Fluttershy up the stairs to the veranda and walked with her to the back of the palace. There was a small table with two chairs against the windows of the ballroom. Lemonade berries and two special apples from Celetia’s gift tree were on the table. Fluttershy settled into her chair and looked at the sky. “Oh, where are they going?” “The clouds? This is Everfree. Things happen here without magic. Clouds move with the wind not with weather Pegasi.”

He poured the lemonade and they sat in awkward silence. Grey rubbed his neck, “I’m not good at small talk. I’m better at being a big mouth.” “So um, how often do you and Princess Luna dance?” Grey rubbed his neck again, “Oh sorry, dance is another word for my forms or patterns. Luna tells me what to do, and I do it.” “But you said she danced for you?” “Um, I told a story of how Luna made the road.” “You're by her side all the time?” “No, not at all. She comes here for solitude. When she's in the mood, she teaches me something new, or tells me what to do next in a form. Luna is massively intelligent and insightful.” “Do you, love her?”

Grey gasped. “She is elegant, precise, articulate, very sharp and a little dark. Luna knows what I'm going to say or do before I do. But she says it’s my job to know what she wants before she asks. I don’t know how I’m going to learn that.”
Shut up or change the subject.

“One day we went to the kitchen together. She said there is an ancient curse that goes along the line of ‘beware the upset unicorn wife with telekinetic powers’. Then she started throwing things at me. I dodged them easily at first. Then she hit me with a serving platter from behind. It made a noise that sounded like a gong.”

Grey stuck out his tongue and tilted his head to make a funny face, but Fluttershy didn’t smile. “Luna said earth ponies never realise that stuff can hit us from behind. Then the knives came at me. I used the tray as a shield. But I knew I had to stop her somehow. She told me the answer to this challenge. It seems that unicorns don’t like things in their face when using telekinesis. They would have to maintain a shield, and control the flying objects at the same time. So I batted shrapnel back at her. Luna didn’t get mad or anything. And I got better at it. Then the fine china came at me. After that, the knives began to spin like maple seeds whizzing at me. I kept batting things back at her face until she stopped. The kitchen was a disaster; then I blinked and it was back to normal. Luna said everything is made of molecules and she can reset them to their original form”.

“I made a bench out of willow branches and put it in Luna’s garden. We can sit there and watch for squirrels. She planted some vines that actually want you to step on them so they release a sent to attract insects. Luna says it’s a nice perfume.” Fluttershy looked down and frowned. “Oh, I see. I finally get it. I am dense. How about from now on, I refer to her as ‘The Boss’?”

I want to sit on the bench with you, and I will, so help me, I will kiss you first.

Should not have said, ‘wife’ and ‘Luna’ in the same sentence.

Fluttershy sighed. “So quiet. It seems very lonely here.” “I have never been as alone as I was in Ponyville.” “Same with me in Cloudsdale. But how can you live in a world without animals?” “I picked this spot because the Everfree animals are a little more active around here. Even Screecher is quiet.” “Oh, who's Screecher?” Fluttershy looked up. “He's a very loud bird. Half crow and half turkey buzzard. But he sounds like a high-pitched blue jay. Screecher acts like it's his job to announce the presence of strangers. Can you sense the animals at the edge of the forest? I can feel their eyes.” “Oh, yes. So many are there watching us.”

Grey slumped in his chair. “My diabolical plan isn’t working. I expected animals to come to you, and then you would be relaxed and happy. If this was any place else in Equestria, the animals would mob you. But not here. I don't understand.” “Oh, I'm sorry, but it's different here. Backwards and wild. You said so yourself. Remember when I said ‘you need animal therapy’? You need it here too. Isolation isn’t healthy for a pony.” “That’s what… never mind.” Rainbow Dash came over the forest and flew down to the grass behind the palace. She looked at Fluttershy and then to the forest. “Oh dear, something's happened. It's time for us to be heroes again. But I don't want to be.” Fluttershy stood up. “I so want to go in your stead.” Grey stood with her. “You sound as if you’ve been reading Twilight’s books. You know that won't work. The six of us have to be together to save the day.”

Fluttershy walked down the back stairs. Then she walked back up and hugged Grey. Then back down the stairs. Then back up. “My boyfriend is so dumb.” She teased as she kissed him. “Just once I would like you to kiss me first.”

A black bird swooped in and landed on the veranda banister. He strutted back and forth, eyeing the food on the table. It let out a sharp screech. “There you are. Do you have any idea who you just missed?” Screecher fluffed his feathers and settled himself. “I don’t believe it. You are actually dripping tiny drops of oil or something. Maybe it’s a good thing Fluttershy left. What if she hugged your oily self? I hope you avoid the phoenix.” Grey gave Screecher a grape. “Must plan a bigger, better date. Go big or go home, because this home didn’t work. What’s the biggest place I know?

Oh no. Not there.”

Comments

[AutumnT]

Just an FYI: This chapter needs to be re-formatted. It's like a wall of text.