The Real Life Friends: In Equestria!

by SubCinemaProductions

6- MattDash

Author's Note:

I'm back everyone!

Despite the title, there is NO ROMANCE! Not yet.

Oh, and there's is some vommiting at the end. Just FYI.

Matt followed the cyan pegasus down the road, his hands in his pockets. He sighed deeply, hoping that, once he went to sleep, he would wake up on Al's couch with no shirt and one hell of a hangover. He solemly turned his head outward to the roaming landscape, taking in the scenery before him: the medows, the small houses that pecked the landscape, the quaint town leaving him, and a large full moon ahead of him. It seemed so much like home, so why couldn't he shake the feeling that he didn't belong? He turned to the pony, whom he caught returing his stare.

Her gaze was shifting up and down his body, as if though she were evauating him on his fitness, a feild which he certainly didn't even qualify in. After realizing that his eyes were upon her, Rainbow Dash finally met his look. "You know," she said thoughtfully, " I don't mean to sound like Twilight or anything, but it seems pretty unlikely that all of you who came here were only earth humans. I mean, I would've at least figured that there was one pegasus human with you guys."

Matt shook his head. "There are no pegasus humans," he replied simply.

She stopped walking. "Wait," she said, confused, "So who manages the whether and the clouds?" Matt stopped and returned the same look of confusion.

"No one does," he replied, "It kinda, just... does it's own thing." They stood there a minute. She couldn't comprehend what he meant; clouds weren't alive, so how did they do their thing? Matt, on the other hand, had figured out another strange detail about this new world he was in. They have control over the whether. "Wait, you can controll the weather? So you can like, zapp people?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't. It may not seem like it, but I do show some restraint," she said honestly.

"Tk, sounds like wasted potential to me," he remarked, shaking his head.

Keeping her eyes on him, Rainbow walked forward past Matt, who keeps eye contact. Once she passed him, she snapped back forward and started quickly, wanting to get back to her home. They continued forward in silence for a while. There was no pony on the road, Matt had observed. They were all probably cozy and tucked away in their warm, soft beds, sound asleep. The thought of sleep was intoxicating to Matt.

With the prospect of rest, he failed to notice Rainbow Dash, who had stopped suddenly, and then bumped into her. He stumbled back and tried to regain his bearings. She rounded her head to him, seeming as if she hadn't noticed what had just happened. "We're here," she stated. Matt left and right, a look of confusion on his face. Rolling her eyes, she pointed upwards. Following her hoof, his eyes met what could only be described as some sort of castle in the sky.

"That's you house?" he said disbelievingly. She nodded. "How am I going to get up there? I mean, I don't think that you could lift me." He jestured to his large, bear-like stomach. At this, she huffed.

"What," she asked, iratably, "You don't think that I can lift you?" She hit her hoof to her chest. "I'm stronger than I look." She flew behind the bear-man before he could stop her."No! Wait! That's not what I meant!" Too late. She pulled him up from behind, her hooves pulling him up by his shoulders. She growled as she beat her wings as hard as she could, trying to lift the fat man. It did her as much good as Matt's protests did him. She slowly, after a minute or so, lifted him about one inch in the air. After a few more minutes of huffing and lifting, without warning she had dropped him to the ground. He landed with a thud and she fell backwards, exausted and panting heavily.

"Sweet Celestia," she said in between breaths, "You are fat."

Matt had stood up, rubbing his sore rear. "Well," he said, cringing, "If I can walk on clouds and you can move them, why not just make me some makeshift stairs?"

Her eyes grew big, and she deadpanned.

~

About twenty minutes later, Matt stood before a proud Rainbow Dash, who displaying a set of mashmallow-like stairs, which led above. "Nice," he duded in a dude-voice. He approached them and took a cautious step onto the first one. Unlike many things, it held his weight. It was a little springy, but not so much that he couldn't balance. He took another calculated step, and then another, and another. Soon, he was walking up the white steps with ease.

"Hey!" Matt looked up. Rainbow was flying up above him. "I'll meet you at my place!" she called out to him. Before he could answer, she took off, wanting to flare her wings one more time that night. She sped up, past her home, making a rainbow-trailed ark in the sky. Once she was pretty high in the air, she just let her momentum carry her to her peak. Once she had reached her apex, she flared her wings, and, with natural grace, floated softly down. She touched down on the porch of her home and went inside.

From the cloud walls came a faint glow of the moon, which permeated the walls and became a faint light source in the house. The soft glow gave the home a misty look, and even though it was nothing that she hadn't seen before, Rainbow still softened at the sight. This was her home, for better or worse it was there. She shook it off, starting her nightly preperations.

Rainbow moved through all of the normal, nightly rituals that she had done countless times before. Brush the theeth, gargle the mouth wash, floss, set the alarm (not that it would wake her, but here's to hoping) and fluff the pillow. Most ponies would be surprized that she was taking so much care into this, but in her mind it was important in order to be her level of awesome. She was about to crawl into bed, when she noticed that Matt hadn't come in. She couriously peaked her head outside. From her bedroom, she couldn't quite see her porch, so she made her tired way back to her front door.

She swung her door open. There lay Matt, laying on his back, cheeks flushed red, and panting heavily. Rainbow face-hoofed and groaned. "You are really fat, you know that, right?" His only responce was a quick nod. "You can crash on the couch. I'm going to bed." He nodded again and she shut the door.

Rainbow crawled into bed, thankful that she could put the events of today behind her.

~

Rainbow Dash was awoken by the sound of girly screaming.

She was just in the middle of a great dream about flying to the Moon with the Wonderbolts and Celestia in tow. Upset that she had been woken up early, she drearily trotted out of her room into her living room, where Matt had been sleeping on her couch the night before. Where her cloud-couch should've been, there was a gaping hole. That couch had taken up about three hours of her time to craft out of the few surplus clouds that were available after building the house. Angry, she peered down the new hole.

A speck, no bigger than a parasprite, could be seen plumeting down to the ground. There was no question that the scream was coming from it. What could that be? She focused her bleary eyes onto the unidentified object.

Matt.

Groaning, she streched her wings out as the sounds of his terrified screaming were getting quiter. Though Matt was in danger, she still had to make sure that she could catch him without pulling a muscle. She was sure that there was enough time. After one last stretch, she made her dive for the falling human.

Her speed gained and the air sped past her as a rainbow trail was left behind. She was getting that feeling again. The one that she always got when she flew. The rush of adrenalin, the feeling of freedom; it never got old. She was so caught up in the feeling that she almost forgot about Matt, who was still plumeting to his most certain death.

She dropped below him, then swooped up, creating a u-shaped ark in the sky, and grabbed him by his underarms. The redirected, upwards force was enough to slow them down. The rapid decrease in speed was enough to make Matt sick. His face turned a sickly shade of green as they lowered to the ground.

There was a breif pause, in which Rainbow struggled to keep Matt at his two-feet-in-the-air status. Gasping for breath, she sputtered, "M-Matt, I'm going to d-drop you."

Without any time to prepare himself or object, Rainbow Dash dropped her bipedal "friend" to the ground suddenly. He landed smartly and soundly on his ass, making a large tudding sound. The pegasus allowed herself to float to the ground gently, still out of breath from their last encounter.

She panted for air. She had lifted weights in mid-air before, but Matt had brought it to a whole new lever. Perhaps she could work something out with him where he fell to the ground more often? It would certainly be a great workout.

She lifted her head to look at Matt. He had taken to violently vommiting into some nearby bushes. The normally determined and cocky pony dropped her head.

"I'm done. Just... done."

Comments

[Clockwise Gear]

Well this is certainly a thing that exists.

I don't know what to make of it other than being absolutely silly, but it definitely exists.