Pinkie Pie preemptively apologizes to Twilight: she's going to ruin their friendship.

Twilight agrees.

Pinkie suits her better as a girlfriend anyway.

Everypony has a story. Some tell of heroic feats and grand adventure. Others tell of villainy against the forces of Harmony. The story of an average guard, however, is one of obscurity. They live in the background, unnoticed but ever-present.

Silent Knight assumed his tale would be like that of his father's: join the Royal Guard and serve Equestria. He would be just another helmet and spear, part of the rank and file. And that was all he ever wanted.

However, when Captain Shining Armor asked for volunteers to form a House Guard for the recently returned Princess Luna, it was Silent's hooves that stepped forwards to set his new life in motion.

Twilight Sparkle and friends spend a peaceful evening together playing cards.

That is until their future selves decide to show up to stop them all from ruining their lives.

Spending the holidays with your girlfriend's parents is never easy.

Especially when they think you’re a magical gangster hell-bent on corrupting their daughter.

A Valentine's Day fic... sorta.

Pre-read by Themaskedferret. Thanks to FloydienSlip for help with the title.
Cover art by little-tweenframes.

People like Button's mom. Some really, really like her. So it's no surprise a few fanart and stories are made in her favor. And now poor Button has to deal with the end result for some inexplainable reason. Hopefully he doesn't get mentally scarred for life!

Thanks to my editors Selbi and Trials, along with my pre-reader Skeeter The Lurker for all their help!

"I've got crabs."

Those three little words, spoken to Rainbow Dash over the phone, set Canterlot High School on fire.

Because even though most of the student body has forgiven Sunset Shimmer for her past transgressions and she has more friends than ever now, some gossip is just too juicy to ignore.

Besides, everybody's more than a little curious as to the finer details--and who else might be dealing with the same problem.

(Rated Teen for discussion of sensitive topics.)

For years Nightmare Moon was considered "nothing but an old pony tale," but what did those tales actually say about her? See Luna, Celestia, and Discord as viewed through pony myths and legends.

I may add more short stories on in the future as new chapters.

Image courtesy of anbolanos91 on Deviant Art. Thank you! :)

A reader's poll in Equestria's leading newspaper rates the Princesses by approval ratings.

OOC meta humor ensues as the four discuss the findings.

Pre-read by RT Stephens, MythrilMoth, and The Albinocorn.

This story is a sequel to Dash of Humanity

I'm stuck in Equestria, which reminds me of the dark ages. Instead of internet and fast-food, I have Rainbow Dash. She's been asked to help me learn to fit in... I'd like a refund.

I suppose we got off to a good start, aside from being told that after all I'd done I'd never see Earth again. So long as I can look on the bright side of life, and not get arrested for running pranks on everypony with Dash, I might just survive long enough to find my purpose in Equestria. So help me, however, if I get any vegetable related cutie marks I will choke a Princess.

Cover Art by JinZahn
Sequel to Dash of Humanity
Edited by: Selbi, Abcron, Cassius Litner, Seven Fates,
Refro, BronyWriter

No one asked for it! No one demanded it! But here it is anyway: pure, distilled essence of badfic, satirized for your protection and diluted with enough water to keep you from going blind. In addition to the two terrible and wildly unoriginal shots that have been available separately on Elric's blog, this collection contains a previously untasted third chug of intentionally painful and derivative awfulness. (Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of bad fanfiction.)

Universally admired original characters, show characters acting out of character, stupid names, implausible shipping, gratuitous tragedy, and more -- it's all right here. Read if you dare.

Any resemblance between these OCs and any other OCs, living or dead, is purely coincidental maliciously intentional.