TTS Reading of the entire fiction: Courtesy of the FanFiction Reader on Youtube.

Character List: Courtesy of TruthHut (A work in progress)

Handy is not a happy man at the best of times.

He was even less happy to find himself in an alien world that offended the very laws of physics and got injured for his own stubborn refusal to accept the obvious path fate had apparently laid out for him.

For his trouble he is now on a journey, with the long term goal of finding his way back home, only to find himself involved in plots and machinations so far above his head and cares that he quickly becomes a pawn in a game played by powers who care not for his well-being.

Quite like his life back on Earth if you think about it.

Needless to say, Handy does not care for any of it. He is much more preoccupied with the more immediate and pressing mundane concerns of day to day life a human needs to worry about while in Equestria.

Obtaining a new pair of shoes for example.

All this and one almighty hangover, what's the worst that could happen?

Rated teen for harsh language and minor violence

Proofread by JBL, Jude and Usurper

Being the Royal Advisor for Celestia and Luna, you've come up with solutions for many of the nation's problems.

Unfortunately you said a naughty word in front of a guard. Seeing as how these ponies are extremely sensitive, you lie your way out of it.

The events that follow could only be described as "completely stupid".

Rated Teen for naughty words being said.

Thanks to Zephyr for editing.

Featured within 1 hour and 30 minutes on Aug 12, 2015. Thank you guys so much!

Good thing I was reading this on the toilet, because this story made me lose my shit. -LeoneHaxor

One thousand years ago, Nightmare Moon overpowered Celestia and banished her to the sun. As dictator of Equestria she's come to a slow eventual conclusion. She needs someone in charge of relations. And, like any good dictator would do with a undesirable job, she outsourced it.

To be inserted into Equestria, it's a dream come true for anybrony!

Meet the ponies!

Have super awesome magical adventures!

Use foreknowledge to avoid all those silly pratfall moments without screwing things up and causing irreparable harm to the Mane 6...uh...hopefully!

And all for the low cost of possessing Princess Luna, denying her any real freedom or the ability to move on with her life since she's in your head and you're walking around as Nightmare Moon!

Yeah...there had to be a catch in there somewhere, didn't there?