Hey guys, I am really sorry but the fourth chapter actually comes first, otherwise it won't make very much sense. If anyone knows how to change the order of the chapters please let me know in the comments. Thanks all!

A few days ago, a strange, rotating block appeared in Ponyville town square. Twilight hasn't been able to tear herself away from it…

"Crossover" with Tetris and Super Hexagon.

FIMfic still needs a Stupid tag.

Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.

Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

Celestia wakes up from a fitful sleep.

Something had awoken her unnaturally, just when she was having fun. As she tries to get back to sleep, a creature suddenly appears. It doesn't say much, holding a terrified princess captive and placing a cold, thin appendage on her lips.

"Shh", it says. "No tears, just dreams."

Rated Teen for weirdness. And scaring ponies. Unjustly, I might add. A fic that laughs at horror tropes, but sometimes just likes to use them.

AN: This the very definition of what happens when I go full retard. You never go full retard. Expect very poor writing and nonsensical nonsense. This has probably been done before in some fashion. I just find that statement, 'no tears, just dreams', hilarious... for some reason.

Finally got myself an editor for this, thank you, Midge!

This story is a sequel to Celestia's New Assistant

He makes Discord look sane. Most ponies resent him. He is the most chaotic thing to ever live.

Will he save Equestria? Will he doom it? Will Citrus Fruit be involved? More then Likely. Beware, he is...The Human.

"I simultaneously want to know what's going through your head when writing this, and don't want to know what could inspire this." -Love the Changeling

"MOST. RANDOM. STORY. EVER." -jackofalltradez

"I mean... stare too long into the abyss and the abyss stares into you, and the abyss has skittles apparently" -ShadowsAndDust