• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013

Lord Of Dorkness


Deep into that dorkness peering...

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Found 316 stories in 468ms

Total Words: 21,558,094
Estimated Reading: 8 weeks

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T

This story is a sequel to That Changeling's a Pony!


Like most ponies, Maxilla the exiled changeling doesn’t believe that Daring Do is real. However, fate seems determined to prove her wrong in the most dramatic way possible.

After all, it isn’t every day that a changeling gets dragged along on an adventure and subsequently immortalised in Daring Do literature and merchandise.

Chapters (15)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to No Nose Knows


It is recommended you read No Nose Knows first but it's not absolutely required.


Baked Bean was just a regular citizen of Equestria until one fateful day when he accidentally booped Princess Celestia's nose with his own and then found he was forced to marry her to fulfil the terms of an ancient law. Miraculously, Love has blossomed between the princess and the pauper, and the new Prince of Equestria is now looking forward to taking his place at the side of the Princess of the Sun.

But Baked Bean is still very much a novice in the realms of government and nobility, and he's in for quite the crash course between old foes, snobby ministers, and his own shortcomings...

But at least Luna tolerates him now.

~*~
As seen on Equestria Daily!

Proofread and Preread once again by Georg, Moon Fire, Zen and Ponies, and Sipioc!

And with much thanks to You-Know-Who for the cover art!

Chapters (42)
T
Source

Baked Bean is but one of the thousands of tourists in Canterlot, and he's looking for some inspiration to help launch his writing career. To this end, he pays a visit to the Royal Gardens, but while there he quickly and quite accidentally invokes a long-forgotten law that will completely upend his life and thrust him into the spotlight...

As Celestia's husband.

And all this because of noses.


As seen on Equestria Daily!

With an audio reading by Fire Hearth Studios!

Cover art graciously provided by the Right Most Awesome Backlash91!
Original cover art provided the Right Most Awesome Sipioc!

Proofreading and prereading services provided by Georg, Sipioc, and Moon Fire!

Fan Art for this story can be found right here!

A most worthy review by Cyonix!

Chapters (32)
T

Scootaloo has a secret. One that she's been hiding her whole life, and after the royal wedding has no choice but to share.

Apple Bloom has a secret. One that she's been hiding for six months, and is still terrified of.

Sweetie Belle has a secret. One that she's been hiding for... well, she doesn't know how long, and is looking for answers to.

So what happens when three not-ponies find out their friends aren't ponies either?

Well, one thing's for certain: they're going to have to come up with a new name for their club. Hopefully one better than the title.

Cover by Crimsion Ink

First few chapters edited by metallusionsismagic, AppleTank, and the last few chapters edited by Crocoshark, Bahamuttone

Featured May 30, 2015!

Chapters (26)
E

For years, Twilight Sparkle has kept track of how little both Princess Celestia and Luna eat.

A small slice of cake here. A single cup of tea there. So what really keeps the Princesses going from day to day?

And is Twilight Sparkle truly prepared to unearth such facts?


Artwork by davidsfire.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

It's a bright and sunny springtime day in Ponyville, the perfect kind of day for Twilight Sparkle to visit her new friend Fluttershy.

Also, did you know horses poop fifteen times a day?

Takes place in Season 1. Rated "Gore" for gratuitous gross bodily functions.

Chapters (1)
T

From the stone age to the modern world, Celestia guides her little ponies into the future. And she needs to keep playing. Just one more turn.

Always one more turn.

Done as a speed-writing exercise in about three hours. Totally unedited. Enjoy!

Chapters (2)
T

Idol Hooves holds a special place in Equestria. He's probably the only exiled changeling to serve in the Royal Guard, or at least, that's what he expects, as exiles don't really broadcast that fact. However, it's well known that Princess Celestia loves all of her little ponies, and her guards perhaps more so, and that makes it one of the best ways for a changeling to discreetly feed.

But how does a changeling even get there, let alone get exiled in the first place? For that matter, why would it ever go to Canterlot? Set a number of years before the series proper, before Luna’s redemption, Idol details how he was exiled, the ponies he’s met, and the series of misadventures that led him to joining the Royal Guard, and should continue a good ways into the series, as something of an alternate perspective.

Soon, he’ll have to deal with a boisterous new princess to serve and a royal wedding in the works bringing a third to power. Will his old instincts bring this new life crashing down around him? What precipitates Chrysalis’s ill-fated assault on Canterlot? Is it really so wrong for a changeling to enjoy good craftsmanship to an obsessive degree?

New cover art provided by the fantastic Carnifex

And a TVTropes page here.

And an Ask Blog of questionable canonity!
Out of Idol Curiosity

Fanart by Norad2! Major thanks! Short For a Royal Guard

Art by Egophiliac of Idol and his Daring Duckie Please don't tell him what that brush is meant for.

Rating updated to (T), it's a bit darker than (E)
Comedy Tag added as well
And changed the character tags a bit.

Chapters (74)
E

What would happen if rubbing a pony's tummy turned you into a pony? We'd be doomed. That's what'd happen.

Picture related in spirit, not substance.

Chapters (1)
T

Metal ponies tell their stories,
Scientists in laboratories,
Lay the wire, mount the brain,
Mount their hips, teach them pain.
Teach them fear of revolution,
Internalize the evolution.
Set their ruin on the throne,
Until their chains become their own.
Palaces and hollow eyes,
To the Masters goes the prize.
And if this act should be maligned:
"For the good of ponykind."

Winner of the September Writeoff Contest, "True Colors." Edited by Horizon.

Chapters (6)