Rainy weather and a looming deadline drive Twilight Sparkle up the walls and Spike out of the tree. Only Pinkie Pie can save the day, by introducing the reluctant librarian to an unexpected new hobby. Astoundingly, sex does not ensue.

* Voted Twice as the #1 Comedy FanFic on Equestria Daily *

Well, what can I say? This is the story of a man. Or maybe he was... a pony-man. Or maybe he was just a... Pony! But he was still...

FIREWAAAAAAAALLLL!!!!

... Yeah, this is that story. The story where a guy goes to a party and wakes up in Ponyville. That guy (I know him as 'me') seems to have landed in his own personal little heaven. Hell, I even brought me a pack of endless cigarettes. How does that not kick all kinds of flank?

So yeah, everything was awesome. The End.

Well, except for The Nightmare. And Trixie. And some jerk named David. Then there was that Azure Flora pony. And that skank princess that steals my goddamn phone!

Listen, summaries just... They just don't cut it. If you want the story, it's provided right here.

Just a warning. I use cusswords like a big boy.

ALSO LUNA IS NOTHING BUT A GODDAMN TROLL!

It has been several months since the disappearance of Twilight Sparkle..

One night, after watching her sister raise the Moon and set the heavens alight, Princess Celestia begins to bed down for the night, only to be interrupted by portal forming in her room. From out of the portal comes none other than Twilight Sparkle, garbed in strange armor.

Princess Celestia, along with Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor, are overjoyed by the Element of Magic's return, but are justifiably curious as to where she had been and what she had been doing. And so, Twilight begins her tale. A tale of survival against impossible odds. A tale of a people fighting for the most basic right of all sentient beings. The right to exist.

There was only one explanation. For all of it. All of the strange, erratic behavior. Her irrational fear of the sun. Her nocturnal habits of locking herself in in the dark and closing all the blinds. Wearing her sunglasses everywhere, even inside! It was time to invest in some silver, garlic, and a wooden stake.

The tyrannical Shadow Stallion oppresses Equestria, coating the land in a thick layer of clouds, tightly controlling the population. Three children, the unicorns Celestia and Luna, along with a Draconequus, Discord, must live up to their fate. They must find the Elements of Harmony and take up their rightful place as Equestrias new gods and saviors.

Adventure and Friendshipping mix, intended to be a possible prequel to the show. Featured on EqD since January 09, 2012. Six Stars.