Rainy weather and a looming deadline drive Twilight Sparkle up the walls and Spike out of the tree. Only Pinkie Pie can save the day, by introducing the reluctant librarian to an unexpected new hobby. Astoundingly, sex does not ensue.

When a mishap occurs with Celestia's bathroom scale, an ancient protocol that may just doom Equestria is set into motion. With the entire palace staff now conspiring against her, the sun goddess must not only contend mountains of paper work, dancing celery sticks, and steroid pumped stallions, but a sister who will take this chance to torture Celestia any way she can as payback for her banishment. Lock the cupboards and barricade the fridge! It's the Royal Diet!

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A mysterious brown Earth pony with an hour glass Cutie Mark sneaks into Canterlot Castle, only to be caught by Princess Celestia herself. Curiously, Celestia is intrigued by the seemingly endless stream of nonsense this pony is wont to speak. Luna soon joins them, and the group heads into the very depths of the castle, where something has been lurking for far too long...

Author's Note: The story begins with Season 1 Luna, weakened and with very little magical power, as well as having 'flat' hair.

Doctor Whooves is also an Earth pony in this fanfic, as he has appeared as both a Pegasus and Earth pony in show.

Co-Authors: Bramble Rose, MudBug, Diomedes