Paul's Thursday Reviews CLXX · 12:27pm Aug 1st, 2019
Well, folks, today’s the day. Bronycon. My first pony convention. At all. And yes, I really did spend 12 hours a day driving for three days in a row. Except the first day, that was 9 hours. But they were nice drives, with pleasant, rolling scenery. You people already living in places like Virginia might think this a strange statement. Understand, where I come from, everything is pretty much flat. Driving down a road that is constantly twisting and turning around mountains, providing a different view with every curve, is a strange and fascinating thing for me, and I want to enjoy it in the very little amount of time I have to do so. In the meantime, I got to go hiking in Kentucky and explored the Vicksburg Civil War battlefield, so I enjoyed myself plenty.
And now I’m at Pascoite’s place. Kudos to him for letting me stay here and saving me some $800 in hotel costs. And for letting me ship my bookstore selection to him ahead of time. I don’t have an exact schedule for what I’ll be doing at the con; I may pick one or two things of interest, but otherwise I intend to play it by ear. I did, however, volunteer to work at the bookstore today at 3PM and tomorrow at 2PM, so if you’re absolutely determined to find me, you know where to go to ensure I can’t escape.
In the meantime, check out Wanderer D's Sunset's Isekai for a crossover chapter with Bulletproof Heart! It's not canon to my story, but it is set during the events of the as-yet-unfinished Book 2, which means it conains a range of hints regarding what you can expect to see in the future.
Now then, I’d actually like to go to this con instead of sitting here typing on my computer about potentially going to it, so I’m ending this here. Reviews!
Stories for This Week:
To Try For the Sun by Rune Soldier Dan
Snuggle Bug by Overload
The Cough by Ebon Mane
Something's Always Watching by DEI Caboose
Tender is the Night by Harmony Split
These Are the Days of Our Lives by Super Trampoline
Anthropology by JasonTheHuman
Screwball Over by Warren Hutch
The Magician and the Fiddler by The Fool
Gunsmoke by Wanderer D
Total Word Count: 309,396
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 2
Pretty Good: 2
Worth It: 6
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
To Try For the Sun
5,018 Words
By Rune Soldier Dan
Celestia is twelve, and her entire world revolves around making sure her eight-year-old sister Luna survives the ongoing winter enforced upon the world by King Platinum as part of a war strategy. But her little sister is too kind for their own good, and now they face the end. Whether by starvation or hypothermia, Celestia knows her struggles are over. If only King Platinum’s court would bring the sun closer and end the winter. If only she could do it herself…
This story is a great many things in a small package. It is Celestia’s cutie mark story. It is a worldbuilding exercise. It is a demonstration of which Elements of Harmony that each of the royal sisters possess. More than anything, it is a story about Celestia’s undying love for her little sister. And it is a wonderful read.
Rune Soldier Dan hits this one out of the park with a perfect atmosphere and a dichotomy of hard facts and foalhood fantasy made real. The story is a practice in subtlety, quietly showcasing Luna’s kindness, generosity, and joy that stands at war with Celestia’s loyalty and honesty. One, forced to be the adult, made mature far too early, and the other remaining a child, if a responsible one, in the face of disaster. Celestia’s frustration is well-founded, but at the same time Luna’s actions are understandable.
My only regret is that we didn’t get to see King Platinum’s reaction to the sun being effectively jerked from his council’s grasp. I imagine Celestia and Luna are about to face a lot more trouble before things really get better. That would make for a great multi-chapter tale, maybe even an epic. I doubt we’ll ever see such, and honestly I am satisfied with what we’ve got out of this, but that won’t stop me from envisioning the possibilities.
This is a wonderful story about the childhood of the royal sisters. Their relationship, their struggles, their helplessness and desperation. It’s definitely worth the read, so stop what you’re doing and get to it.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The First Flame — Pretty Good
Snuggle Bug
7,467 Words
By Overload
Thanks to one pony's complete unawareness of what warning labels are for, a disease has begun to spread across Equestria. It turns every pony that touches it into something akin to zombies, wandering Equestria with an endless hunger for… snuggles.
There are worse fates.
This is an amusing fic that takes the whole zombie trope in what is undoubtedly meant to be a cute direction. I’ll admit, I was entertained, especially when Chrysalis gets the idea to invade Equestria when it appears to be helpless.
The first thing I regret about this is that there’s no effort made to really accentuate the cuteness. I expected some details in two or three instances of Overload describing exactly how the disease spreads. I mean, it’s one thing to say “pony snuggled pony”, it’s another thing entirely to show it. The author avoided Show as if that itself was part of a plague, which was a huge lost opportunity to make this far better than it is.
Also, there are parts of the story where it goes total crackfic territory, particularly when we spot Twilight riding Luna like a cowboy, complete with saddle and reins. I wouldn’t be so annoyed by it if the rest of the story showed this level of ridiculousness, but the rest of the story plays the concept straight. So instead, it comes out of nowhere, is completely unrelated to the established nature of the disease, and just seems dumb. So yeah, low point for me.
Even so, this is a silly story for silliness’s sake, and I enjoyed the majority of it. By all means, give it a go.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Night Rages On — WHYRTY?
The Stars Never Change — Pretty Good
Alternate Title: The Mane Six Commit Suicide for No Good Reason
The Mane Six have sealed themselves into an underground bunker in order to avoid the plague spreading outside. And then… someone coughs.
This is one of those stories that chooses to ignore reality in favor of a Bad End. It is, apparently, a beloved and highly praised entry in FIMFiction’s list of sadfics, with many people trying to dissect it for underlying meanings and intentions. Basically, all the Mane Six are hiding from some sort of disease, the first indication of which is a cough, so when one of them coughs it is immediately decided that whoever did so must die for the survival of the group.
Which is stupid. People cough. Everyone does eventually, for something so insignificant as dust. Which means that each and every one of the Mane Six will die because of this logic. Worse, they even admit, outright, that the illness isn’t contagious until the final phase, which guarantees they have a window of opportunity to know for sure. A window none of them are willing to look through. So yeah, the Mane Six are dead because stupidity.
To be fair, there might be a justification to this. The problem is that Ebon Mane doesn’t bother to inform us of it. We have extremely limited context, and that context is not enough to justify the uncharacteristic behavior of the Mane Six in this setting. Ebon Mane is basically forcing the reader to make up their own headcanon as to why this is happening. That’ll work for some (or most, as the upvote ratio suggests), but it won’t do for me, not in this scenario.
All that being said, the concept is rock solid and Ebon’s manner of writing it is decent. It uses a certain minimalism to make sure we all know what is happening while forcing us to imagine the details for ourselves. Which is great for a story like this. If we had been given just a touch more information about this thing they’re dealing with, this review might have been completely different. Heck, if this had been a bunch of OCs, I might have viewed it more favorably.
But it’s not, and I am left more annoyed than disturbed. Sorry, Ebon, but this time I have to stand apart from the crowd. I’ll still give it a middle-ground rating though, because again, the fault has nothing to do with the writing, and most horrors I read fail in exactly that area. It’s refreshing to see someone get that part right.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Tired — WHYRTY?
On the Care and Construction of Bridges — Pretty Good
Something's Always Watching
2,068 Words
By DEI Caboose
DEI Caboose tries their hand at Weird fiction. In this case, Princess Twilight Sparkle wakes up one morning to find that all animal life in the world other than herself has vanished without a trace. Over the next two days she works to figure out what happened and why.
This was a quirky one. It starts off just like you’d expect, with Twilight writing journal entries in order to keep her thoughts and ideas in order. But what most writers would stretch out to weeks, months, years, maybe even decades, DEI Caboose finishes in less than two days. Honestly, it’s a little hard to take that kind of timetable seriously. It almost feels like the first 24 hours were pointless. Shouldn’t we have had more time to get to know and fear this mysterious something Twilight is encountering? Instead it’s “everyone’s gone” to “don’t let it get me!” in a blink. It all feels a little rushed. Heck, for all we know Twilight is simply insane, and the things she’s encountering are her friends trying to help her.
I love stories that leave more questions than answers. Usually. But this one feels like it missed a few steps somewhere in a rush to get to a conclusion. The end result is that the intended effect is lessened significantly. DEI Caboose has the right idea, they just need to slow it down a bit.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Same Box — Worth It
Tender is the Night
2,213 Words
By Harmony Split
Celestia suggests that Twilight begin a new Friendship Court so that the ponies of Equestria can meet with her to discuss their problems. When she holds the first one, however, it doesn’t turn out at all like Twilight hopes.
This one ends up with a mixed result. On the one hand, I like what the author did with it, and they did a great job pulling all they wanted to in with such a short wordcount. If this were a last-minute entry for some contest or whatnot, I’d call it impressive. For something written on the spot with no intention but to get it out of Harmony’s head, it’s not bad.
But there are, of course, issues. The first is some strange dialogue that doesn’t flow naturally, such as:
“Don’t think about this, darling.”
“This”? Most people would say “think about it” or “think about that”. I’m not sure if it’s a grammatical fallacy or not, but it’s certainly quirky. That’s just the most obvious of them, though.
And then there’s issues like this:
“Well, I guess we call it here for today then,” Twilight said silently
Can someone please explain how it is physically possible to speak silently? No, don’t bother, because you can’t.
Then there’s the whole TwiLuna ship at the end. Which, y’know, I love that ship, but I don’t think it was at all necessary for this story. There’s a central premise, which is Twilight’s fears regarding her worthiness as a princess. That was all the story needed. What good does Luna confessing to Twilight do for this story? Nothing, really. At best, it diminishes the lesson that’s supposed to be learned.
Harmony Split did okay with what little room they gave themselves, and again, the story is fine considering it was written in a flash without any effort to go back and develop/improve the story. But that swiftness also left behind a lot of issue that severely dampen the quality of the story as a whole.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
These Are the Days of Our Lives
1,618 Words
By Super Trampoline
It’s been four years since the death of the queen, and changeling Shimmer Song is camping with her hubby, Clair de Lune. But tonight she can’t sleep, so she writes in her journal in hopes of figuring out why.
This is a curious story. Written almost entirely in journal form, it is little more than Shimmer’s idle musings over the past, present, and future. It comes with little snippets of worldbuilding but nothing too concrete. It’s a strange mix of ennui and hope. I rather liked it, but it comes with the caveat of “nothing happened”, so readers should beware of that.
If nothing else, it’s an interesting look into the life of a reformed—or perhaps “freed” would be the better word—changeling. It’s got me wondering about its sister story, which I assure you will be added to my RiL should ST ever finish it.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Feeling That Way & Anytime — Worth It
Anthropology
130,415 Words
By JasonTheHuman
And so, at last, we come to this. I honestly had no idea JasonTheHuman wrote this when I first found him, and it wasn’t until I checked his library after already reviewing two of his stories that I saw it and was like “Wait, what?” Weird how we bump into things.
For those newer to the fandom or who are simply unaware, Anthropology is one of the first and most well-known Lyra-is-obsessed-with-humans stories to pop up on FIMFiction. In fact, given that it was written in 2011 and is among the first 5,000 stories released on the site, it may very well be the first. It wasn’t at all what I expected, which is a good thing. The story begins with Lyra believing in humans despite her family and friends considering her insane. Her journey to uncover the truth about them leads her to some shocking discoveries and, eventually, a new life in the human world. And, since this is obviously long before Equestria Girls became a thing, by ‘human world’ I mean ours.
The story is fascinating, but also frustrating at times. The good bits include a lot of worldbuilding and mystery in the opening third as Lyra struggles to gain more ground in her understanding of humans in Equestria’s past. This is also easily the most amusing portion of the story as Lyra shows distinct signs of becoming a crazy conspiracy theorist, complete with ideas of top-secret government organizations watching her every move. There comes a point when you really start to wonder if she hasn’t gone off the deep end.
Then Lyra visits the ‘real world’ (Ohio, to be specific), and things get curious. Watching Lyra stumble about making assumptions about a world she doesn’t understand can be cute and fun at times, but also legit worrisome. Then we get to the third arc when the villain of the piece shows up, which is easily predicted but still decently handled. But that ending was just… eh…
I love that JasonTheHuman played the whole concept straight. No nonsensical shenanigans with Lyra knowing more than she should, humans being universal bad guys (or good guys, for that matter), no playing up the individual moments to make this silly. I find Lyra’s method for learning about the humans lacking—when you don’t know anything about the world and your cover story is amnesia, why the heck aren’t you using that to get people to explain basic concepts?—but also totally believable given the circumstances.
I also like how, even though nearly all the humans Lyra meets are ultimately friendly and helpful, there are distinct signs of reality. One of the best examples of this comes in a middling chapter where a guy named Nathan drives Lyra to a house to audition for a spot on a garage band. Nathan is wary when they arrive, repeatedly suggesting they leave the place and not stick around. Lyra, being the narrator, is oblivious, but the reader can catch the implication that this is a bad neighborhood and it might not be safe for them to be there. It was subtly done, and things of this sort litter the story in ways that I most certainly approve of.
Also, every time the story talks about Lyra playing an electric guitar I couldn’t help hearing Eric Johnson playing Cliffs of Dover. It was curiously epic.
Some things did bother me about the story. For one, Lyra is abnormally lucky that within hours of entering our world she manages to run into somebody willing to provide her with food and shelter, as opposed to being homeless for a few months and/or running into inner city gang members. With her total ignorance about the nature of humanity and naive belief that all humans are friendly, she wouldn’t have stood a chance.
How is it Lyra listened to a lot of rock music but somehow failed to get any implications from them? You want me to believe that she never asked what a gun was when introduced to Guns N’ Roses, or didn’t at least raise an eyebrow at the absurdity (from a pony perspective) of Axl Rose singing “If you’ve got the money, honey, we’ve got your disease?” For a pony with such great curiosity, she tends to lack any when these kinds of things show up.
Of course, you also have to grant the idea that ponies don’t know war, strife, or maliciousness. Which I consider a tall order, but for the sake of the story I didn’t let it bother me. Yet if that’s true, it should have made her all the more aware of these discrepancies all around her. JasonTheHuman does alleviate this some by having Lyra research human history and wars, but she shows such great disgust at what she learns that it’s a wonder she wasn’t horrified by some of the lyrics that can be found in human songs.
Then there’s that ending. I’ll grant that the Elements of Harmony worked for Twilight & co. after they only knew one another for a few hours (and Lyra even points this out to Twilight). But at the same time, Twilight’s interactions with her friends in those first couple episodes were a bit stronger than Lyra’s interactions with her human friends, especially the ones she left behind or only knew from two or three encounters. Frankly, it all felt blatantly contrived.
Then we have the villain, who… well, in most respects, I have no problem with. The only thing that really bothers me is how the villain showed up in the first place. Why? Something had to be the catalyst to let this happen, but all we’re allowed to know is that it happened. I’m not buying that. If the villain could get loose that easily, it would have happened long before we got to see it in the show. Probably a few hundred times, in fact. It would have been a regular event. Ponies would have brought popcorn and snacks to watch, maybe learned to predict it’s timing and made a big event out of it.
So yeah, not buying that bit.
Overall, I liked the story. It’s got solid pacing and keeps things interesting with each story arc. It doesn’t fall into all the common tropes of HiE or PoE, which means it still feels remarkably fresh despite its age. Despite a lot of contrived, highly lucky elements, the plot feels realistic without sacrificing a light tone. The low point was definitely the climax, which feels sort of hammered on, but otherwise it’s a solid story with just a few minor quirks to interfere with its overall quality. If this really is the story that started the whole “Lyra’s obsessed with humans” trope, I can understand why. For being one of the earliest stories in the fandom and the first released by JasonTheHuman, it’s quite the good showing.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Haunting in Ponyville — Pretty Good
Applejack Goes To Magic School For Some Reason — Worth It
Screwball Over
16,364 Words
By Warren Hutch
And so we arrive at the final entry of Warren Hutch’s little comedic saga involving a certain chaotic pony thing. Set an indeterminate time after Screwball Mio Amoré, the story has Ponyville invaded by an army of bite-sized Screwballs, all more than a little… well, screwy. They latch onto poor Button Stitch, and their numbers keep growing. Now the Mane 6 and the princesses must find a way to stem the tide before Equestria is literally buried under an endless mountain of propeller-beanie-wearing weirdos.
This is a fitting end to a most entertaining series. The mini-Screwballs are actually more cute than anything, their disapproval of Pinkie Pie aside, yet still provide for a rather unusual and serious threat. Watching these characters get one last go at the spotlight was a lot of fun, and I still thoroughly enjoy Warren Hutch’s take on the character.
The only catches that may turn people back is that A) you really need to read the series from the start in order to properly appreciate this, and B) the LUS remains unchecked. But really, neither are a big issue, as A) the story is fun to read from the beginning, and B) the LUS is nowhere near bad enough to overwhelm that. So yeah, give it a go if you feel like reading something a bit more on the lighthearted side.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Screwball Mio Amoré — Pretty Good
The Turning of the Screwball - The Strange Case of Button Stitch — Pretty Good
The White Mare — Pretty Good
Out of the Nest — Worth It
The Magician and the Fiddler
33,603 Words
By The Fool
Trixie is in a serious bind. She’s low on funds and reputation, and she has a meeting with a medium tomorrow that she cannot possibly afford to miss. Still, things might be looking up, especially when a cute fiddler spots her act and decides she’s interested in more than just an autograph.
Seriously, folks. The moment I saw the title and cover art, I had to read this, if only because I’d never read a story starring Fiddlesticks before. That it features a unique ship was just icing on the cake. Plus Trixie, because Trixie. I jumped in, ready for a story about a relationship between two ponies and how it grows into the typical “something more”. What I got is something else entirely.
Before we know it we’re dealing with broken demonic pacts, fiddle-based duels with devils, and quests into Tartarus in search of lost souls. I don’t know whether to be annoyed or entertained. It’s a little of both, really. I mean, the long description suggests nothing like this, so the whole Greek-style adventure blindsides us.
Even stranger, this ends up being two stories in one, the first being about Fiddlesticks going to save Trixie after she reneged on a deal with the devil Charlie Daniels-style. The second takes place an indeterminable time later and involves Trixie going to return the favor after Fiddlesticks dies, presumably of natural causes. Which is rather poorly started, as the story claims earth ponies live one-third the lifespan of unicorns to an average of twenty-five years. Which brings into question how old Granny Smith and Ponyville are. If you really need an excuse for Trixie to go to Tartarus, you could use something that doesn’t strain everyone’s sense of disbelief.
Then we have the quirk of the battle of Lethe. Which, somehow, makes Trixie randomly go from being a humble but powerful unicorn to a veritable god in an instant because… uh, because. I’m sure there’s supposed to be some mumbo-jumbo about strength of will and love and all that, but it really just comes off as contrived badassery for the sake of it. I think The Fool is trying to emulate elements of Greek mythology with all this stuff, but it feels more like OP nonsense than anything else.
And here I just wanted to see an original ship done straight.
Despite all that, I was still consistently fascinated with the story, if only due to a great interest in finding out what happens next. The first half might lean too heavily on love at first sight, but it is still the superior creature of this tale, showing Fiddlesticks going through a number of legitimate dangers and struggles in her journey to get Trixie out of Tartarus. It’s fun, a bit touching, and at times amusing. The second half tries too hard to epic-ify the entire concept, but it’s still quite the adventurous romp. Just don’t think about the details too hard and you’ll probably be fine.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Another Slice of Pie — Pretty Good
Gunsmoke
102,733 Words
Requested by Wanderer D
Note: This review is specifically for the printed copy of Gunsmoke. There may be differences in the FIMFiction version.
Sunset Shimmer feels out-of-touch with her friends for a number of reasons. But, thanks to SciTwi, she’s found a way to live a new life: the virtual reality game Gun Gale Online. As the scout and gunslinger Desert Mirage, Sunset has risen to be one of the most respected and skilled players in the game. So respected, in fact, that she’s been invited to join a team of the elites trying to win a cross-server competition. There are only two problems. First, nobody in the real world, including her friends, knows that she’s a gamer, and they’re starting to get frustrated at her frequent disappearances. And second?
Unlike literally everyone else, Sunset feels it when she gets hurt in-game. She and SciTwi should probably figure that bit out, huh?
This was just as fun the second time around. Why second? Because Wanderer D asked me to edit the story for him. To be honest, I probably should have given it two or three more passes, because I noticed a lot of issues this time that either I missed or got added in after the fact. Still, they were few enough to not be a major detractor.
Because this is fun. It’s got gunfights galore, with Sunset as Desert Mirage engaging in battles against other players and monsters alike. There’s strategy, there’s tactics, there are surprises. And when we’re not watching Desert Mirage blast her way to the top of Sword Art Online’s modern tech counterpart, we’re in the real world watching Sunset deal with a new girlfriend, out-of-control magic, and Rainbow Dash being Rainbow Dash (in a bad way). Wanderer D makes sure nothing is boring.
Along the way we meet plenty of colorful characters, from ever-practical team leader Surgeon to the computer science professor Sombra (yeah, that surprised me too) to the imminently capable Nightmare Moon. This is the point where I note that this is easily the most believable and respectable version of ‘Gamer Luna’ on FIMfiction, at least that I am aware of. We don’t get a lot of background for most of them, but that’s sort of the point: you don’t share real world details with your online friends. Unless one of those online friends ends up being your real world girlfriend, that is.
The end result is an exciting tale of virtual gunfights, struggling friendships, romance, rampant magic, monsters, cross-dimensional shenanigans, and an entirely unexpected cameo or three. It’s a highly ambitious crossover event that somehow manages to feel complete despite addressing so much in only 100k words. As the first story I’ve read by this author (yet another surprise), it’s a great start.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read these Yet?
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Stories for Next Week:
Dead and Loving It by Trick Question
In Celestia We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Georg
More A Mother Than Most by DEI Caboose
The Alicorn Curse by chillbook1
She And Her by RainbowBob
D=S-M by MegatronsPen
It's Always Sunny In The Everfree by Jack of a Few Trades
Sunset Shimmer Lends Pinkie Pie the Wrong Thumb Drive by Sporktacles
Great and Powerful by Between Lines
You Can't Break Me Discord by Piquo Pie
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I concur, Gunsmoke is really quite good.
Hope you have fun over at Bronycon!
After the show reformed the changelings into gay rainbow bug horses, it jossed this and “the times they are a changeling”. But I suppose I could write a final entry to close things out
Thank you for the review!
Interesting -- you enjoyed Anthropology considerably more than I did. It was a long time ago I read it, but I recall finding some of the human characters rather uninspiring and (like you) finding the villain's appearance a little unsatisfactory. I did love To Try for the Sun, though. Wonderful world-building of the "I want to know more about this right now!" school. Shame we didn't.
Gunsmoke and Anthropology at the same time? Mad lad.
Also stop reviewing fics at Bronycon you hecker
ignore the review blog I will be posting tomorrowI don't think The Cough is horror. I think it's a character piece. The characters do things because of who they are. But I haven't read it yet because it's a mental hurdle for me.
See you in Pastel Pastures!
I was pretty bored by The Cough. Kinda hard to feel bad when you lack so much context for... well, anything.
Thank you for the review!
I enjoyed the first 11 chapters of "Gunsmoke" but couldn't keep up with it after that.
And "To Try for the Sun" was a very nice story. I've liked pretty much everything I've read by that author. Plus his avatar is a strangely compelling match for his name.
5098048
Thank you!
derpicdn.net/img/2016/7/14/1200956/large.png
Gotta admit that I'm not sure how it's a match, but for that's a compliment for a Harshie fan like me.
5098394
It has to do with all the similarities and contradictions. "Dan" (male) versus a female character, "rune" suggesting something hidden or complex, while she's very straightforward, yet she does seem rather soldier-like. And then she looks so cute in her sternness.
5098639
That she does!