Read It Now Reviews #82 – Rainbow Splash, A Most Irregular Tea Party, Language Barrier, Back Off, Cant · 11:55pm Jun 7th, 2016
Another day, another five more reviews new stories. Glad to see another thing from Aquaman; I've been meaning to read more of his stuff for a while now, even if he does talk to fish.
Today’s stories:
Rainbow Splash by Estee
A Most Irregular Tea Party by Present Perfect
Language Barrier by Aquaman
Back Off by Summer Dancer
Cant by Rambling Writer
Rainbow Splash
by Estee
Comedy, Slice of Life
6,480 wordsRainbow just discovered water balloons.
Discovering why ponies don't use them is going to take slightly longer.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are subscribers to a prank magazine. Every month, they find new things to try… except for this month, where all of their pranks are things they’ve already done, or which were pre-empted by the mayor and police making CURIOUS ADJUSTMENTS around the time Rainbow Dash got the latest issue.
After realizing it is a bust, Rainbow Dash looks in the International section, the back of the magazine devoted to pranks from other cultures. And naturally, the first one is water balloons.
Pinkie Pie doesn’t think they’ll work. But Rainbow Dash, never one for logic, reason, or an understanding of the value of hands, is going to try anyway.
What ensues is five thousand words of Rainbow Dash trying (and failing) to fill up water balloons.
Unfortunately, while the idea of Rainbow Dash failing at this repeatedly is in principle funny, in practice, it was kind of dull. There’s only so many words which can be spent on this idea, and frankly, I think this story exceeded that by a fair margin – or at least, failed to add in other things to keep it interesting.
One joke can only sustain a story for so long, and 6,000 words is well in excess of that length.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
A Most Irregular Tea Party
by Present Perfect
Sex, Comedy, Random, Romance
4,327 wordsCelestia invites Twilight over for tea and chess. Things don't quite go as planned.
Why I added it: Present Perfect read my own Twilestia story, and turnabout’s fair play, right?
Review
This story starts out very pretty, with the mulling of the meaning of various tea sets, the meaning of various teas to Celestia, and the historical figures who Celestia had drunk tea with.
It then devolves into a drunken knife fight and fetishes.
So, uh, yeah.
Honestly, this story doesn’t end up flowing together all that well; the start feels like the start to a serious character piece, and then it turns into a complete crackfic after they get drunk and start behaving wildly out of character. While characters behaving out of character is a common trope for drunk people, and this story is clearly making fun of them (and the general alien brain worms of some shipfics), the story didn’t end up all that funny to me. I’ve never actually been a huge fan of crackfics in general – they have to generally be pretty special for me to be interested in them – but I just felt a bit disappointed by this, as it ended up feeling a bit too much like a Take That, and too little like anything else.
This is always kind of a danger of Take That’s in stories; a lot of the time, they end up feeling jarring, like they’re just making an aside in order to say “This thing is bad,” without actually going somewhere more interesting with it. This is, I think, what separates the better Robot Chicken sketches from the weaker ones; playing with absurdity, I think, ends up working better than just saying “this is stupid”, and this ended up feeling too much like the latter instead of the former.
I think reductio ad absurdum is a much more interesting and effective means of mockery than what this story does, which is really just swinging the characters around on strings and saying “Look at how stupid this is!” It is stupid, but we didn’t need the author spinning around characters like a marionette bolas to know that.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Language Barrier
by Aquaman
Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
1,834 wordsYesterday, Dinky Hooves learned a new word. Today, she's going to share that new word with her two best friends at school.
Fluttershy really should've watched her mouth a little more.
Why I added it: Aquaman is hilarious.
Review
Dinky Hooves shares the secret of the bad word she learned yesterday from Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash – peeved.
Being kids, this naturally leads to them wondering about other grownup words, as well as why all of it is a big deal anyway. But Dinky knows why grownup words are important – they’re used by grownups! And you don’t have to be a grownup to use a grownup word!
Right?
This story was hilarious. It was just the right length, Dinky Hooves and her friends were wonderfully characterized, and it was a great kid conversation. The words they went through were a lot of fun, and the ending was great.
As an aside, I do have to say I’m impressed that the site algorithim somehow picked up on this being similar to Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny, and Dinner, which also involves Dinky not-swearing, though more peripherally. Though I suspect it was just because both have the Dinky and Other tags.
Recommendation: Recommended.
Back Off
by Summer Dancer
Comedy, Romance
1,855 wordsSoarin never really had any competition when it came to Rainbow Dash...not that he needed to, anyway. But when an obnoxious green pegasus flies in with the newest recruit, he decides he doesn't like the two of them together.
Why I added it: It was featured.
Review
Soarin is jealous of Zephyr hanging out with Rainbow Dash for some reason.
And so when Zephyr shows up to work for the Wonderbolts (very briefly) he is none too pleased to see this… green stallion hanging out with Rainbow Dash.
Only a little possessive. Just a bit. 
Honestly, this story is pretty much written on the tin – Soarin is jealous of Zephyr showing up with Rainbow Dash and tries to butt in. It isn’t bad, but it never really goes outside of the expected, and I’m not sure that I really bought the SoarinDash shipping here – or more accurately, the conclusion to it, as it didn’t really seem like the time for such, and felt a little bit forced at the end.
Still, the rest is okay.
Recommendation: If you’re a SoarinDash shipper, this will probably be up your alley, but it is pretty basic as a story and doesn’t really go beyond the obvious.
Cant
by Rambling Writer
Horror
2,354 wordsThere's an old book that's falling apart. Twilight wants to copy it down to preserve it. But it needs to be as accurate and precise as possible, to preserve the state of the original. That shouldn't be too hard. After all, it's not like the text will change whenever she looks away.
Right?
Why I added it: It was featured and Present Perfect recommended it.
Review
Twilight is trying to copy an old, boring book which is a very poorly written tome of eldritch lore. None of it could ever possibly work; everything in it is just off. Distorted diagrams, nonsensical text… it doesn’t even do anything bad to anypony who reads it.
It just kind of is there. But it is a book, and Twilight can’t let it be lost to the ages.
This is an odd little story. It is labelled horror, but it is almost comedic in tone. But there is a more sinister element underlying its seemingly comedic nature, and while it is very subtle, there’s some hints that this book is far more than it seems – particularly towards then end, when you realize just what kind of cant is being talked about here, and then think back to some of the ways in which the work is supposedly poor.
It is a quirky little story, and maybe a little bit too subtle in its effect. Still, if you like the idea of trying to come up with the implications of a seemingly mild horror story on your own, this might be worth a look-see.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don’t mind almost excessive subtlety.
Summary
Rainbow Splash by Estee
Not Recommended
A Most Irregular Tea Party by Present Perfect
Not Recommended
Language Barrier by Aquaman
Recommended
Back Off by Summer Dancer
Not Recommended
Cant by Rambling Writer
Worth Reading
Huzzah! Another review set done! And two review sets in a row with a Recommended story.
And here I was, starting to get discouraged.
Hopefully I’ll get some writing of my own done this evening as well. Until then, I hope you find a story you enjoy.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 132
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 483
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1920
Not a bad lineup. I think I'll give Cant a read just to see what you mean by 'excessive subtlety'.
4007477
Spoiler for Cant, so don't read until you've already read it, if you're going to read it:
The borderline problem with Cant is that it never actually makes it clear just why the cant is sinister; it is only by thinking back to some of the descriptions of the supposedly skewed, messed-up diagrams that you realize that the cant that Twilight ends up with to her vision may make it so all the earlier diagrams (and possibly the text) make more sense, as tilting it might cause the "skewed" diagrams to appear straight, and the nonsensical words and sentences to appear differently as the letters are part of different words, and thus the book to, rather than be nonsense, be an actual dangerous piece of arcane lore masquerading as nonsense.
So unless you read the text twice, or have a good memory of the "issues" with the text, it is unlikely that it will appear as anything other than something which is mildly annoying.
Ahh, you're the pre-reader who told me to go the extra step. Well, you have been vindicated, I think. :V
4007492
Thanks for recommending Cant by the way. I think it was a bit too subtle, but I had fun figuring out the implications.
Sweet, a review!
you take that NR back the drunken knife fight was glorious
Cant is in my next set of Concise Reviews, and I actually felt it had the opposite problem. Rather than being too subtle, it takes great pains to point out every single part of its "mystery". It calls frequent and prolonged attention to many seemingly unimportant details, and the result is a story that lacks any sort of surprise or suspense or even interesting occurrences.
The idea of a subtle tome of eldritch horror is interesting, but the story is anything but subtle about it.
4007579
Grats on getting featured!
4007601
Sorry dude, only HoofBitingActionOverload gets recommendations for pony-and-knife stories.
4007786
Everything being a bit skewed was obvious. I really suspect that a lot of people wouldn't catch the importance of kerning and the skewed magical diagrams, though, because the odd, garbled text and diagrams are only mentioned earlier on, and Twilight never mentions anything about them now seeming a lot clearer. Maybe I'm underestimating readers, but I feel like a lot of people would miss that.
The only time the Aquaman one made me giggle a little is when killjoy ended up being a bad word too. Like it was a cute little slice of life but it just didn't make me laugh at all beyond that. Different strokes for different folks I guess
4008122 but that's what I'm saying. The story calls a lot of attention to those details. So much attention that it became obvious to me very quickly where the story was going.
I suppose part of it may be intentional. Discussing such uncommon details is going to draw attention to itself because they are uncommon. Even in the context of the narrative, however, I felt the story wasn't subtle about its intentions.
It's that age-old question, I suppose: where is the line between reasonable foreshadowing and spoiling your own story? Like all fiction questions, it is subjective.
4008180
I didn't see the significance of the nonsense sentences or the misshapen diagrams until after I'd finished the story; I didn't even get it when it was talking about the kerning or the page tilting. That's why I was worried it was too subtle; the details were all mentioned at the beginning, and then never brought up again. Though I have to admit to being disappointed in restrospect that the nonsense sentences didn't form different words in English with different placement of the spaces..
4008122 Thanks
4008206 The first time the runes shifted, it became immediately obvious to me where the story was going. The way Twilight reacts to it does fit in with her character, certainly. I think that the way the narrative focuses on it at length goes beyond being in-character and goes into bluntness, though.
I think that the mention of the original author's obsession with rulers is a good example of it being used to good effect. It seems innocuous at first, but in retrospect its meaning is more clear. For other things, though, I think that subtlety was lacking.
As I said, it is a subjective thing. Perhaps I've just read one too many horror stories that follow the same tack.
4008215
Subjective indeed. To work with the examples in just that last post, I personally found the obsession with rulers blatant at first glance, whereas I missed that particular implication of the shifting runes + etc until rereading. (Perhaps your thought about familiarity with horror stories is on the right track - I don't recall having read any which use that tack.)
Anyway, if you haven't done so already, I'd recommend looking through Cant's story comments before making a final decision to call it too non-subtle. It does appear that a number of people missed what's going on, especially before the reviews recommending Cant made it obvious that anyone who doesn't see anything noteworthy at first should keep looking instead of figuring there's nothing to see.
I'm curious: are there any stories by Estee you actually recommend? You've reviewed a lot of his (her?) stuff lately, but you seem to rate most of it Not Recommended.
4008679
Stories by Estee that I've liked:
Trav(ap)est(r)y - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Now #79)
If I Gave You Diamonds and Pearls - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Later #47)
No Sale - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Now #53)
Multi-Factor Authentication - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Now Reviews #42)
Twilight Sparkle vs the Equestrian Cutie Mark Registry - Recommended (reviewed in Read It Now Reviews #40)
The Elements of Elements - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Now #36 and Read It Now #52)
Season's Bleatings - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Now #1!)
Naked Lunch - Recommended (reviewed in Read It Later #25)
Blessing - Recommended (reviewed in Read It Later #33)
The Hypocrisy of Tolerance - Worth Reading (not yet reviewed)
One Tenth-Bit - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Later #34)
Five Hundred Little Murders - Highly Recommended (reviewed in Recommended #4)
Pinkie Pie vs The Soufflé - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Later #36)
Luna's Lottery Lunacy - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Later #35)
On the Application of Time and Motion Efficiency Studies to Initial Relationship Formation - Worth Reading (reviewed in Read It Later #39)
Dear Friend - Worth Reading (not yet reviewed)
Jury Duty - Worth Reading (not yet reviewed)
So yeah, I've liked a large number (17) of Estee's stories. If I hadn't, I would have given up long ago. I haven't read 21 of their stories, and have NRed 14 (the last is an incomplete story I am interested in, but it hasn't updated since 2014). So I've actually liked more Estee stories than not.
Out of the last 10 stories Estee posted I liked 5 and NRed 4, with the last still unread. That (again) leaves a hit rate of over 50%.
And overall they've put out three stories I'd recommend and one I'd highly recommend, in addition to 13 WRs and 14 NRs. That's a pretty good success rate, given my overall rate for reading stories at random is significantly worse than that (only about a third of stories I read in total end up being worth reading).
4008988
Thanks for the detailed reply! I reckon I got my perception skewed simply because you've reviewed so much of Estee lately.
I added a few of those stories to my list. I'll read them as soon as I'm done with FO:E - which is gonna take forever, but hey.
4009329
Makes sense. It happens. Admittedly I hadn't been reviewing very much for a while, so suddenly launching back into it can make it easy to seem like I hate everything.
Combined with Estee and Bad Horse taking up writing again much more frequently, and you end up with... strange looking patterns.