Read It Later Reviews #39 – There’s A First Time for Everything; Cutie Mark Crusader Magicians, Yay!; On the Application of Time and Motion Efficiency Studies to Initial Relationship Formation; Gilda Has the Floor; Rainbownomicon · 2:21am Dec 15th, 2015
Reviews, reviews, who’s got the reviews?
TD, apparently.
In an attempt to simultaneously get something done, clear out the Royal Guard queue a bit, and to procrastinate, I’ve got five more stories read and reviewed for you folks.
Today’s stories:
There’s a First Time for Everything by Dubs Rewatcher
Cutie Mark Crusader Magicians, Yay! by DrakeyC
On the Application of Time and Motion Efficiency Studies to Initial Relationship Formation by Estee
Gilda Has the Floor by Pascoite
Rainbownomicon by Void Chicken
There’s a First Time for Everything
by Dubs Rewatcher
Comedy, Romance
7,160 wordsIt's Hearts and Hooves Day, and Pinkie Pie is going through her annual rituals. Distribute personalized cards to every resident of Ponyville? Check. Give out candy? Check. Sit in front of her bedroom window and eat lots of raw cookie dough? Mega-check. Everything has gone according to plan, and without a date to go on, Pinkie is ready to spend the rest of the day relaxing.
That is, until Pinkie realizes that every time she looks at Fluttershy her tummy feels weird. And if her Pinkie Sense is right—and it always is—that can only mean one thing: she is madly in love with Fluttershy.
This can only end well.
Why I added it: It was recommended to me and was in the Royal Guard queue.
Review
After getting a funny feeling in her tummy after finding out that Fluttershy doesn’t have a date for Hearts and Hooves Day, Pinkie Pie decides that she’s in love with her friend and asks her out on a date.
Dinner and a movie. How can you mess that up? I mean, you’d have to be some kind of fool not to try and figure out what kind of movie you’d both like, or what a dinner date is supposed to entail…
But, well, it is Pinkie. With the magic of obliviousness and inexperience, anything is possible!
Except Fluttershy enjoying herself.
I actually guessed the “plot twist” of this pretty much from the start, given Pinkie Pie’s general behavior and the fact that the story was labelled a comedy, and have to admit I’m actually kind of surprised that I’ve never seen it used as a premise for a story before – or at least, can’t remember it being used.
Still, the date is completely awful for Fluttershy, and deliberately so, and it is obvious that Pinkie Pie has no clue what she is doing.
As a comedy story, this was a somewhat strange beast, though; it was a ridiculously awful date, but somehow I felt, the entire time while I was reading it, that it would have been much funnier to watch than it was to read about. Watching the date go from bad to worse would have been funny, but reading about it ended up making the serial escalation of badness feel like it was losing something, and ended up making me actually feel kind of bad for Fluttershy after a while, rather than amused by her predicament.
Still, I can’t say that I wasn’t entertained by it. It was decent enough for what it was, and of course, it involved Fluttershy crying, which according to Trick Question means that it gains like +10 points from me.
The clock was just approaching noon when Pinkie Pie sat down in front of her bedroom window, a bucket of raw cookie dough at her side. She tore off a chunk of the dough and threw it into her gaping maw before leaning forward and jamming her face up against the glass. From her place on the top floor of Sugarcube Corner, she gazed down at the street below.
It was Hearts and Hooves Day, which meant only one thing to Pinkie: everything was about to get super-duper adorable.
Pinkie cooed as she watched Lyra stumble up to her marefriend, Bon Bon, and shakily hoof her a bouquet of lilies, only about five of which she had eaten in advance. Her heart fluttered as she saw Thunderlane and Flitter walking down the road, their wings entwined. She barely held back a squeal as Cheerilee and Big Mac nodded at each other from across the road.
This was the final step of Pinkie Pie’s annual Hearts and Hooves Day ritual. She had stayed up all night personally designing and writing out cards for each individual resident of Ponyville, and every member of her family. The morning was spent delivering the cards, along with boxes of chocolate ordered from Sugarcube Corner. Now it was time for her to sit back, relax, and enjoy the absolute cuteness of ponies in love.
And, of course, eat some raw cookie dough. She ripped off another hunk and tossed it into her mouth.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don’t mind reading about bad dates and shaggy dog stories.
Cutie Mark Crusader Magicians, Yay!
by DrakeyC
Comedy, Slice of Life
28,432 wordsAfter another failed attempt to get their cutie marks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders stumble upon a wagon in the woods with a familiar unicorn showmare inside. In awe of Trixie's presence and her tales of travelling across Equestria, they decide she may just be the unicorn to help them get their cutie marks - in stage magic! And it may just be the most difficult trick Trixie's ever attempted.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
After yet another misadventure involving launching Scootaloo from a cannon, the CMC end up finding Trixie’s cart deep in the Whitetail Woods. After she refuses to lead them back to Ponyville, instead offering to give them a map to lead them on their way, the CMC hatch a plan to blackmail Trixie into giving them magic lessons. Trixie is run to the end of her rope after a day with them, but that night, she talks to Scootaloo about why the three of them are so insistent on learning magic. After hearing the story of how they are working to get their cutie marks – and Twilight Sparkle’s own attempts at helping to train them – she abruptly changes her mind and takes them back to town, offering to take them on as her new apprentices.
But what is behind Trixie’s sudden change of heart? Is she really just trying to help them? Or is there something more afoot?
Documenting Trixie’s attempted tutelage of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in the art of magic, as well as Trixie mending things with the ponies of Ponyville, this is a somewhat comedic story, but while it might appear to be a comedy at first, in reality it is closer to being a slice of life piece: while it has plenty of comedic situations, it isn’t actually set up as a comedy, and has a lot of more dramatic moments. That’s not to say that the story isn’t funny – it has a number of pretty uproarious bits, such as when Trixie goes to talk to Rarity about an apology – but it isn’t really the story’s primary focus. Instead, it seems to be focusing on the CMC’s impatience and their newfound relationship with Trixie, as well as the CMC and Trixie interacting with the ponies around them.
The core of this story is fairly strong, and the comedy adds to the storyline quite well – the CMC and Trixie are both intrinsically funny characters at times, and it really shines through well in some scenes.
However, at other times, the story falls down a bit. The biggest problem with this story is Trixie's varying voice and personality. Her voicing in chapter 4 and later seems to be much less Trixie-ish during her lessons, resulting in her seeming like an entirely different pony; while some of her scenes present her as being very distinctively herself, in others her personality seems to mostly go away and she becomes much more bland, and doesn’t really react to things in an emotionally consistent manner. This is very offputting in the scenes where it happens, and while other scenes still have her shining, in some of the more intimate scenes her dulled personality hurts reader engagement.
The story is as yet unfinished, but overall I liked what I read thus far. However, I have some hesitation in recommending it for others due to the aforementioned issues with Trixie, as well as some lesser issues with the odd bit of awkward writing. Still, I will be following this story, and it got a green thumb from me despite its issues.
Recommendation: Worth Reading, but it isn’t finished and it does have issues.
On the Application of Time and Motion Efficiency Studies to Initial Relationship Formation
by Estee
Comedy, Slice of Life
10,300 wordsTwilight invents speed dating.
Rarity tries not to perfect murder.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Rarity is having a bad day at the boutique, so having Twilight over for a bit is a welcome distraction. But when Rarity starts going into the fact that her love life is a wasteland, and that she can tell that most ponies aren’t compatible with her within three minutes, Twilight Sparkle, Protégée of Princess Celestia and world class socially-inept nerd has an idea.
If you only need three minutes to tell if a pony is not going to be good for you, even though you waste a full evening on a bad date with them, why bother with the full date? Why not just do a large number of three minute long dates in a single evening? With 40-odd ponies you could get to know, surely you’ll meet your very special somepony!
Naturally, Twilight drags in everyone she can – her friends, ponies who are foolish enough to think that Twilight being the Princess’s protégée means she isn’t utterly insane, ponies with overdue book fees that Twilight might forgive…
And then pairs them up in a round-robin fashion so that everypony gets to spend time with everypony, regardless of things like physical attraction, past history, sexual orientation…
And poor Rarity is left at the middle of it all, having the worst 43 dates of her life.
This is a silly story which relies heavily on situational humor for its punch rather than a lot of traditional jokes. There are jokes, to be sure – and a fair number at that – but a lot of the humor relies on schadenfreude, the suffering that Rarity and the other ponies are going through, as well as the sheer badness of the matches and walking disaster which is the experiment.
If you want to watch ponies suffering through Twilight Sparkle directed speed dating, this is the fic for you. If you aren’t into schadenfreude, though, you may not enjoy this so much.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Gilda Has the Floor
by Pascoite
Drama, Sad, Slice of Life
2,919 wordsA party for Rainbow Dash with plenty of strong cider? Count Gilda in! Except Dash is probably the only pony who wants her there.
She shouldn't have come.
Why I added it: I liked it in the writeoff.
Review
Rainbow Dash invites Gilda to a party, despite Gilda’s past behavior. Gilda gets blackout drunk at the party and rants about how Rainbow Dash always seems to want to leave her behind. But Rainbow Dash is all about loyalty, and her friends are willing to try and help her…
A very feelsy story that is hard to talk about too much without giving away too much, this story is more or less about Gilda getting over herself and forgiving Rainbow Dash, as well as Pinkie being Pinkie and showing why she is such a good friend. That said, this story does meander a fair bit, and is fundamentally a few conversation stitched together and bound up with each other by a plot twist a third of the way through which more or less defines them. It is about getting over a friend leaving you behind, and about making new friends afterwards. It isn’t the best thing in the world, but I think it does a decent if not amazing job of connecting with the reader emotionally. It isn’t something that will forever make your world brighter, but you’ll probably like it well enough for the few minutes it takes to read.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Rainbownomicon
by Void Chicken
Gore, Comedy, Dark
3,621 wordsRainbow Dash's latest flying routine was interrupted by a sudden mountain, and Twilight can hardly sleep at night. No pony should be this excited to play with necromancy.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue, though apparently I had read it previously and couldn’t remember it.
Review
Rainbow Dash crashes head-first into the side of a mountain and dies.
Fortunately, Twilight has been studying necromancy, and has this new spell that she’s been itching to try out to bring Rainbow Dash back to life. Unfortunately, it seems there might be some… side effects.
You know, like having a hankering for the delicious, delicious flesh of ponies.
But I’m sure that’s just a minor detail, right?
This is a very silly story in which Twilight in no way stays in character. She is a gleeful, cheerful necromancer who gets entirely too excited about Rainbow Dash dying and bringing her back to life. The whole death thing is treated like a minor inconvenience, and no one takes Rainbow Dash’s desire for the taste of pony flesh all that seriously (or death in general, after Rainbow Dash is brought back to life). It is funny and bizarrely lighthearted considering the subject matter, and the absurdity of treating death as a joke works well for the story.
That said, the characters are fairly out of character as a result of the subject matter, so if that sort of thing bothers you, it is likely to be offputting. But if you don’t mind pathos being traded in for lighthearted comedy about death, you might like this.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don’t mind ponies not taking death seriously.
Summary
There’s a First Time for Everything by Dubs Rewatcher
Worth Reading
Cutie Mark Crusader Magicians, Yay! by DrakeyC
Worth Reading
On the Application of Time and Motion Efficiency Studies to Initial Relationship Formation by Estee
Worth Reading
Gilda Has the Floor by Pascoite
Worth Reading
Rainbownomicon by Void Chicken
Worth Reading
Five stories that all crossed that “this was an amusing enough use of my time but isn’t amazing” threshold, with Estee’s story being the stand-out piece of the lot. It is unusual for me to find five “Worth Reading” stories in a row, but somehow, it happened this time without a single deviation to either side. I’m not sure if I should be annoyed at the fact that none of them exactly swung for the fences, or content with the fact that none of them bored me.
This also marks the fourth day in a row of me reviewing stories. You might think this is a great sign, but to some degree, this is personally discouraging, as I’ve been hoping to get stuff actually done, and instead I’ve spent a lot of time reading, and not nearly enough time actually writing. I ended up tossing out the entire start of my Christmas story for this year because I realized I started it in the wrong place, with the wrong ponies, and enjoy idle conversation between ponies far more than is healthy.
Ah, well. Time to get focused; Merry Christmas, Twilight Sparkle isn’t going to write itself.
Until next time, folks!
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 97
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 387
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1741
Yeah, I've found that reading and reviewing is a great way to not have to write. :B
3619018
I only have myself to blame.
Thanks for the review and hesitant recommendation. I'll say simply I'm looking over the story and tweaking some of Trixie's bits to bring back the trixster we all adore.
I wish I were doing something as productive as reading. YouTube has me locked in its seductive grip.
Well, that and working on my Jinglemas story. Still, it's mostly YouTube.
3619054
You're welcome. Good luck with it!
3619069
I've been listening to the top 100 Christmas songs on Spotify after 538 ran an article ranting about how many Christmas songs were covers.
I have come to the conclusion that people cover the same 25 Christmas songs over and over again because the rest of them suck. :V
> a TD post with no "Not Recommended"s
media.giphy.com/media/RWhUVNTZnZH4Q/giphy.gif
Worth Reading, as per the usual, it seems.
Thanks again! I'm wondering how this will translate to a TRG posting...
Oh neat, I've seen your name around. Thanks for the nice words.
Out of curiosity have many of Estee's have you not done a review for yet?
3619163 I fully expected that picture to be a changeling.
3619199
Worth Readings from me are kind of iffy; some of them get approved, some get approval pending, some get rejections. It depends on the situation; the Royal Guard line is between my Worth Reading and Recommended lines (all stories that I recommend or highly recommend are passed by me as either approved or approval pending some edits, depending). Approval pending tends to be for minor things which can be resolved quickly (like, in the space of an hour of work or so); rejections occur even for stories that I like when I feel like they either aren't up to snuff, or they have too large of issues for me to expect the author to fix them quickly.
Note also that just because I approve or reject a story doesn't mean it gets in/pushed out; we require a consensus of at least two prereaders (or three, in the case of someone on the Royal Guard staff themselves (and obviously, we can't approve our own stories)) for either a pass or fail.
3619255
30, but that number is slightly misleading as I have an "All Estee story post" which I forgot I was working on and should probably dissect for other review posts.
But yeah, I've not reviewed the majority of Estee's work. I've only read about half of what they've written, unfortunately; I do plan on getting through most of their stuff eventually, though.
I am slowly catching up though. I have a number of their stories on my higher priority lists.
So, funny thing: I just clicked it, thinking it looked worth perusing... and apparently I've already read it too.
Clearly, arcane shenanigans are afoot.