Read It Later Reviews #33 – Friday Night Twilight, Blessing, Daring Do and the Weapon of the Ancients, Dance ’Til We’re High, K-I-S-S-I-N-G · 11:05pm Oct 7th, 2015
Decided to try and be useful and get some stuff done.
Did a bunch more reviews, and rewrote chapter six of Mistletrapped.
Yes, that’s right; the thing I’ve been sitting on for a month is finally actually getting put out to editors. I had one person look it over last night (which inspired the rewrite), and I’ve sent out a copy today to another editor to get their opinion on the last few chapters. (And, incidentally, if you've been reading Mistletrapped and would be interested in helping me edit the last few chapters, feel free to give me a poke).
So yes, this should all be coming out SOON™.
But to tide you all over, here are five more stories I read and reviewed in my endless attempt to put off reading more writeoff stories get my “Read It Later” list shortened find good stories for folks to read.
Today’s stories:
Friday Night Twilight by BlazzingInferno
Blessing by Estee
Daring Do and the Weapon of the Ancients by FanOfMostEverything
Dance ’Til We’re High by Present Perfect
K-I-S-S-I-N-G by Pav Feira
Friday Night Twilight
by BlazzingInferno
Slice of Life, Human
1,802 wordsA cartoon pony named Twilight Sparkle visits me every other Friday night. Normally she just raids my fridge, questions my life choices, and forces me to watch her show. Tonight something is different. Has she always had wings?
Fair warning: Twilight’s views on her own fandom's creations aren’t exactly positive.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
Twilight comes to visit the protagonist twice a month. The protagonist is in his sixth year of college, doesn’t seem to really have his stuff together, and, well, gets visited by a technicolor pony who snarks at him a bit and insists on watching a children’s show with him to see what bits they left out of her life.
He doesn’t care. He’s not a brony; he doesn’t like the show, he doesn’t even follow the characters. He just kind of goes along with it…
The protagonist is just totally used to Twilight’s intrusion into his life, the relationship between the two characters is awkward, they have an awkward conversation, the protagonist seems to show little interest in Twilight’s life and vice-versa… they’re just kind of… there.
I was just left feeling like the whole thing was kind of bland, a reaction to everyone’s usual “a brony meets a pony and totally is happy to meet her” by instead making the protagonist treat it as non-special and totally mundane. But by doing so, there’s just no real magic in the situation, and Twilight’s grousing about the stuff the show gets wrong, while mildly amusing, isn’t really all that entertaining, and doesn’t really go anywhere all that interesting. The whole story just kind of feels like it is there, and the protagonist’s understated reaction to having a magical cartoon pony from another world regularly intrude into his life feels unrealistic in how understated it is.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Blessing
by Estee
Sad
10,696 wordsPrincess.
Some hear the word and think of power. Others take it further. To move Sun, to create the cycle of day and night... surely that indicates something more. Something which can be called on. Pleaded with.
Celestia knows what ponies believe about her. She also knows there's no way to make them stop. Because there are times when the most powerful weapon against despair is faith...
...and the blade is always double-edged.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.
Review
Celestia visits a hospital. She has been begged by one of her guards to go see the guard’s brother – a pony named Fajr. An academic, whose life had always been slow to take off, but who had finally found himself a wife.
A daughter.
And a monster to take away the first, and leave the second only on the edge of life.
She came too soon, given up by her mother before her time because of the damage that the monster wrecked on her body. Her mother had died, then, and the foal would soon follow.
But Fajr believes that Celestia can come and give her blessing.
That Celestia can come and save his daughter.
But Celestia is not God. She’s a pony. And no matter how much she might want a miracle to occur, it simply is outside of her power to perform one…
A story about Celestia dealing with ponies who believe she is, in fact, deific in nature, this is something of a deconstruction of the idea of what a god-like immortal might have to deal like – because, for all her power, for all her magic, Celestia is just a pony like anyone else. She cannot hear prayers. She cannot grant blessings. She cannot perform miracles.
Not that that always stopped her from trying. Or from resenting the fact that she could not.
As with all of Estee’s stories, this is set in a somewhat darker, more mysterious, more cynical, but also more magical Equestria, but while it doesn’t totally jive with the standard setting or the show’s presentation of Celestia, it works quite well in Estee’s darker and more superstitious AU, and does a good job of examining what this sort of thing might feel like from the inside.
If I had a complaint, it would be that the story, as with many of Estee’s stories, is kind of slow, and there are a few references here and there to past events which are kind of confusing – I’m not sure if they show up in another story, or not in any story at all, but there are a few references to past events which aren’t elucidated on in the context of this story, in particular the one time Celestia thought she might have achieved something, which was very interesting and yet which didn’t end up going anywhere. This ended up distracting me at a few moments, as my mind skittered out across these possibilities, and away from the crushing situation of being begged to save someone’s daughter when you simply don’t have the power to do so.
Recommendation: Highly Recommended if you don’t mind Estee’s darker, more superstitious Equestria.
Daring Do and the Weapon of the Ancients
by FanOfMostEverything
Adventure
4,668 wordsThere are a lot of relics, artifacts, and other ancient items of power strewn throughout the world. I should know; I've found safe homes for a lot of them, and even destroyed a few. A good rule of hoof is that the older it is, the more powerful it is. Not because it's old, but because it's survived that long, either because of its own toughness or the defenses its creators put around it.
The Weapon of the Ancients predates written language. Ahuizotl wants it for himself. I can't let that happen.
Why I added it: I remember it from the writeoff, and it was in the Royal Guard queue. Also, the only chapter in the story is titled “Mysteries of the Llamazon”.
Review
Daring Do travels to the jungles of the Llamazon to keep Ahuizotl from getting his mitts on the weapon of the ancients – a weapon created by the monkeys long ago, a terrible weapon that kept getting passed from hand to hand, until at last, its final bearer was poisoned by his followers and the weapon buried away beneath a hill. So terrible are the memories of the weapon, that the people of the Llamazon continue to add to its seal to this very day, creating a strange mountain in the middle of the jungle…
A mountain that Ahuizotl seeks to penetrate in the hopes of gaining access to the most fearsome weapon of ancient times. And while the artifacts he has absconded with in the past might not be enough for world domination, with the Weapon of the Ancients in his hand, the world might well be doomed.
A fun little romp of an adventure story, this piece is very brief, but it contains just enough to get its arc across. Daring Do has to overcome a couple of obstacles, and there is that moment of darkness when it seems all is lost, but the piece as a whole has a nice pulpy quality to it that fits right in with the idea of Daring Do. It may not be an adventure on the scale of Indiana Jones, but it is cute enough for what it is, and I smiled a bit at the end, which is always a good sign.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Dance ’Til We’re High
by Present Perfect
Romance
12,494 wordsIt's been five years since she first met them, and most of Twilight Sparkle's friends have found love, leaving her feeling left out and unwanted. The Winter's Eve Ball promises a magical night of mystique and romantic wonder, but will Twilight's romantic notions get the best of her? Based on the song by the Fireman.
Why I added it: I read it previously.
Review
All of Twilight’s friends are starting to settle down. Applejack is dating Soarin, Fluttershy and Big Mac are in love, and even Rarity has some mystery stallion. Even Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash have dated plenty of ponies, even if they haven’t found THE ONE. But where does that leave Twilight? With friends moving on in their lives – Rainbow Dash in the Wonderbolts, Rarity in fashion, and Fluttershy and Applejack with their loved ones – she’s spending less time with them, and starting to feel lonely, like she’s missing something.
But no one has shown any interest towards her – ever. Twilight worries that she’s plain. That she’s unattractive. That she’ll be FOREVER ALONE.
But Rarity and Rainbow Dash encourage her. Of course she’s attractive! Clearly, she’ll be able to find someone. The perfect stallion – or mare – might sweep her off her hooves. Or maybe she’ll have to push out and find someone to love.
And where could be better than the winter ball? Everyone will be wearing masks, nopony knows who the disguised ponies are… it is the perfect place to meet somepony new.
A story about Twilight trying to gain self confidence in the realm of romance, as well as finding a special someone – or possible special someone – who she had never considered before, this story has a really good (if somewhat well-known) setup, with Twilight going to a masquerade and finding a special someone there who turns out to be someone she knows quite well.
And it is here that we see both this story’s greatest strength and its greatest weakness. The scene at the dance is extremely powerful, with Twilight at first failing, then running out, only to be swept off her hooves by a stallion who decided to pursue her outside… a stallion who, as it turns out, isn’t a stallion at all. The dancing scene is pretty great, and Twilight’s flood of emotions towards a pony who is going through the perfect motions for a perfect evening with Twilight works very well – all the more so when we find out later on that the pony was deliberately trying to anonymously set up the perfect evening for Twilight.
But at the same time, while the character’s actions are believably boneheaded, the second, and final climax – where Twilight finds out just who the mystery “stallion” was, and why they danced with her – is kind of clumsy. It isn’t a bad idea at all, but it doesn’t feel like it is wholly congruent with the character’s other appearance in the story, and the scene itself, while obviously awkward, is full of internal contradictions.
The story also feels a little bit long in places, with the writing not always being all that tight, though the style works excellently for a few scenes, especially the climactic one.
The main question here is whether the awesomeness of the first climax outweighs the somewhat muddled secondary one.
For me, it does. If you want to be swept off your feet by two masked ponies kissing at a ball, this will be right up your alley.
Recommendation: Worth Reading, especially if you like TwiDash.
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
by Pav Feira
Sex, Romance, Comedy, Crackfic
5,099 wordsA day together on the farm with Applejack is all that Rarity could ask for, and more. But good-natured teasing can go too far, and words can bring painful memories to the surface. Rarity struggles not only to console Applejack, but to help the broken mare overcome a past full of shame and regret. Well, sorta.
Why I added it: It was described to me as a “sentimental/silly RariJack RomCom”. How could I say no?
Review
PAV LIED TO ME.
This is not a RomCom.
This… is a crackfic.
So, yeah.
Applejack and Rarity are out on their first date around Sweet Apple Acres. Sure, Applejack hasn’t called it a date, but clearly they’re dating.
Of course, when Twilight shows up and points this out, and talks about the two of them being up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Applejack is furious. And Rarity? Rarity is broken-hearted.
Up to this point, it looked like the standard setup for a RomCom.
Yeah, no. See, Rarity is the only sane mare here, as we quickly learn that Twilight is worried about whether or not she was made an alicorn because of a pun, and Applejack was upset not over the implications that she and Rarity were dating, but because she lost her parents up a tree. Because, you know, ponies can’t get back down out of them, right?
A completely, totally, and utterly ridiculous story, this presents itself as being a RomCom before revealing itself to be completely, totally, and utterly silly.
There isn’t really much here for you if you are looking for romance, or conventional comedy; Applejack and Twilight are only in a veneer of character which is quickly stripped away and transformed into the ridiculous, and poor Rarity is the long-suffering straightmare (who is, ironically, gay) who has to put up with all this nonsense. But if you like crackfics, this is very cracky, and if you have a high tolerance for character stupidity, this might be up your alley.
Recommendation: Worth reading if you like crackfics and don’t mind character stupidity, but avoid like the plague if you don’t.
Summary
Friday Night Twilight by BlazzingInferno
Not Recommended
Blessing by Estee
Recommended
Daring Do and the Weapon of the Ancients by FanOfMostEverything
Worth Reading
Dance ’Til We’re High by Present Perfect
Worth Reading
K-I-S-S-I-N-G by Pav Feira
Worth Reading
I now see why people blame Pav for silly ideas for stories; K-I-S-S-I-N-G is quite the crackfic. I’m still not sure if I want to throw something at Pav for the ending of that story or not, but I suppose that is the job of a story like that. I’m just more used to such endings being the result of feghoots.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 89
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 346
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1692
People always lie. Don't believe in the cake either. The cake is a lie.
I've heard worse reasons.
Definitely going to check out Dance 'Til We're High.
I like how you're goading Present Perfect there.
He's probably gonna yell at you though :P
Dammit Titty, you've failed me for the last time! D:
Although I think I'm gonna have to move KISSING up my list now. :V
3451004
Am I that predictable? D:
3451216 Yep.
3451222
:(
The worst part is, you're right.
3451316 There... There... *pat pat*
#IBlamePav
You could split the difference and throw me instead.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/11/11/148992__safe_animated_upvotes+galore_edit_princess+cadance_shining+armor_the+crystal+empire_fail_epic+wife+tossing_fastball+special.gif
I'm lolling all the way to the bank. Admit it, you loved the ending.
I have to ask: since you first met Fajr in Twilight Sparkle Vs. The Equestrian Cutie Mark Constellation Registry, did knowing where he was both emotionally and in matters of faith two years later have any effect on how you perceived him here? And was there any retrospect change to the way you thought of him in the techni-sequel?
(I never get to ask questions like this. Never -- well, hardly ever...)
3452555
Not especially. It was more of a, "Hey! I know that guy," kind of thing, rather than, you know, something that really changed a lot for me.
3452521
I laughed. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY YOUNG MAN D<