Read It Later Reviews #36 – Present Tense, Apple Whine, Pinkie Pie vs the Soufflé, Height, It is Upon These Words That the Fate of Equestria Hangs · 12:29am Nov 18th, 2015
Well, trying to be a busy little beaver dragon this week and spend my free time doing productive things instead of browsing the Internet and wasting time procrastinating. It is invigorating to throw myself into things, and I wonder just what it is that keeps trying to pull me back into the petty and frivolous when I could be doing far more enjoyable things.
Is it base human nature?
Is it fear of actually trying?
Is it just the ease of consuming the easily digested?
Ah, well.
In any case, I published a story yesterday about Luna confronting a Nightmare Moon who knew too much about the future. It hasn’t exactly been a rousing success at this point (only 180 views), but it has seemed to meet with a mostly positive response thus far, and folks seem to appreciate the ending. I've been trying to get at least some writing done every day, and I've got at least one story in editing right now that is maybe close to done, and a bunch of others that I hope to push out sooner rather than later. I may not get 50,000 words done this month - or at least, published this month - but I'm going to try to keep putting out more stories, as I have 26 stories right now that I have started on and not finished.
In the spirit of getting things done, today’s stories are a mix of stories which were recommended to me a while ago and I kept put off reading and stories read for the Royal Guard queue in the eternal quest for content for site posts.
Today’s stories:
Present Tense by Present Perfect
Apple Whine by Ringcaat
Pinkie Pie vs the Soufflé by Estee
Height by PoweredByTea
It is Upon These Words That the Fate of Equestria Hangs by Rebonack
Present Tense
by Present Perfect
Comedy
5,543 wordsWhen Twilight finds a spellbook written in an ancient, obscure language, she seeks help from the local translator and gets caught up in his madcap, lovesick escapades to win Fluttershy's heart! Who will survive?
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
Twilight Sparkle needs a book translated.
Present Perfect wants Twilight to introduce him to Fluttershy.
Primary Sources wants Present Perfect to notice her, and is less than thrilled when he completely ignores her – indeed, needs her help – to pick up some other mare.
And so she “helps” him with a book of useful tips from the library written by Casanova.
Hilarity ensues.
A fairly straightforward comedy, this story relies on a slightly unusual premise (that there is another Ponyville Library apart from Twilight’s tree-house), and introduces us to two OCs – Present Perfect, a dorky pegasus who is afraid of heights and cant’ fly, whose talent is translation, and Primary Sources, a librarian. Both are voiced reasonably well, and I got some feel for their voices as the story went on.
This story felt kind of like an episode, but not necessarily in a good way. Episodes frequently rely on visual cartoonish humor for comedy, but when it is described in text, it often loses something; the language of animation and the language of writing are different in some ways, so things which would be funny to watch and listen to (Present Perfect being shoved out a window and plummeting to the ground, the bees chasing them around then forming a question mark over the water) just didn’t work as well here as they would have visually. As a number of scenes relied very heavily on this sort of thing, a lot of the humor in this story ended up falling kind of flat for me.
Ultimately, this just didn’t quite do it for me. While the central conceit of a mare “helping” a stallion she likes get a date, and not being all that helpful and simultaneously being angry at him, is funny, the story as a whole just didn’t cross the finish line for me, as it didn’t make me laugh.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Apple Whine
by Ringcaat
Comedy, Slice of Life
3,603 wordsFive friends are enjoying a sleepover at Sweet Apple Acres. What lengths will they go to in order to keep Pinkie away from the alcohol? Casual and silly, written during Season 1.
Why I added it: The Royal Guard queue.
Review
At a sleepover at Applejack’s barn, the group discovers that Rainbow Dash can’t really hold her liquor, the pegasus falling asleep after just a couple drinks. But Pinkie Pie wants some alcohol, too, and everyone remembers the last time she drank.
Rarity offers to sit out of the drinking with Pinkie Pie, under one condition: she, too, has to ask and be denied.
But everyone knows how good Rarity is at whining, even in pursuit of apple wine.
This piece was mildly amusing, but it really leaned very heavily on Rarity whining about not getting served alcohol – and while the core idea was amusing, by the end of the piece I felt like it had sort of worn out its welcome. Pinkie dropped the odd line here and there, but a few bits – like Pinkie’s swirly eyes – were examples of cartoonish humor that didn’t really translate all that well into prose text.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Pinkie Pie vs the Soufflé
by Estee
Comedy, Slice of Life
12,275 wordsPinkie's been an apprentice baker ever since she moved in with the Cakes, and part of that is because she hasn't completed her master piece: the dish which will prove she's worthy of the unamended title. For her, that's a soufflé. Something she's never been able to successfully bake.
With the Cakes out of town and the bakery closed for a day, Pinkie has a chance to spend her time in trying to take that final step. And perhaps somewhere before the end of her failures, she'll learn something about why doing so was important—
—or if it was ever really important at all.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer, and this was one of their highest-rated stories.
Review
There were many reasons why Pinkie still thought of herself as an apprentice baker.
For starters, she had never gone to cooking school. Her early knowledge had come from a single precious baking guide which had somehow managed to work its way into the tiny mineral-obsessed library (one-fifth of a shelf) on the rock farm and for years, that was all she'd had. Upon being delivered to Ponyville and the custody of the Cakes, she'd been able to study more and, with her memorization skills, had learned fast -- but the fact remained that all of her learnings were passed along from either books or her employers. She hadn't gained the benefits from attending the most exclusive, refined classes Equestria had to offer, let alone having traveled to Prance for study at the hooves of the descendants of those who claimed to have invented the whole thing.
(Pinkie had actually been advised against that last by Mrs. Cake, who had spent two years outside the realm's borders and described it as a vital experience in learning -- if your desire was to gain a lettered degree in just how it felt to spend that many moons having every pony around you avert their eyes, sniff loudly, and pretend you didn't exist while making snide comments about your accent in a language they automatically assumed you wouldn't understand. Mrs. Cake did, having studying the native speech before traveling there, and had headed back to Equestria one day after she finally cracked and responded to a local while correcting his grammar, criticizing his originality of comment, suggesting several better ones, and -- according to Mr. Cake -- finishing up with a double-hind-kick of the offender into a tray of eclairs. Assault on one's teachers, however justified, only led to two things in that school: expulsion or promotion to the rank of instructor. Mrs. Cake had never explained which had been handed to her, but implied it was the more horrifying of the two.)
She'd done a good job on her first day, Pinkie felt. Happy (if surprised) customers. No real complaints about her product except from a few grumblers who only wanted what the Cakes had worked on personally. She'd taken the opportunity to attempt semolina long loaves for the first time and everypony had enjoyed the result. And yes, a single day of doing jobs meant for three had worn even her out, she'd collapsed into her bed at the end with a slightly surprised (although she was the only one who could tell) Gummy being used as a makeshift pillow -- but Luna's night had restored her. And while she felt she could have at least tried to keep things going for three days in a row and surprise the Cakes with extra bits upon their return, she had chosen to honor the instructions from the parents of her heart. Because it was what they had wanted. And besides, it gave her precious solo time in the kitchen without supervision or last-second instruction or interference, time she could use to make yet another doomed-to-fail attempt at -- That One Dish.
Pinkie Pie is an apprentice baker. Sure, she doesn’t have a cutie mark in baking, but while maybe that means she’ll never be the best baker, she can settle for a high second place.
But to become a real baker, she needs to achieve her masterpiece (or master piece) – the thing that will prove that she truly is a master baker, and not just an apprentice anymore.
She needs… to make a soufflé. And not have it fall.
For those of you are are unfamiliar (and the story doesn’t really explain very well), a soufflé is a dish made using egg whites that is extremely fluffy. The mark of a good soufflé is that it rises in the oven and does not collapse… well, for 5-10 minutes anyway (yes, they always fall in eventually. No, it doesn’t really change how they taste).
Pinkie Pie has spent years trying to master the soufflé, and has always failed. But today is the day where she has nothing to do, no interruptions, no one else in the bakery… she WILL make a soufflé.
If only the world doesn’t conspire to make her fail.
While this is labelled a comedy, frankly, it isn’t really – there are some comedic elements to it, and while the idea of Pinkie Pie going around and having horrible improbable events conspire to ruin her soufflés time and again SOUNDS funny, because the story is really about Pinkie Pie trying to get over being an apprentice baker and failing, instead of being funny, its actually kind of sad in the general Estee sort of way. Pinkie Pie tries and fails, and while there is certainly comedy in the piece, I wouldn’t really label it comedic as a whole.
In the end, this is really a drama, as the piece is really about something deeper than Pinkie Pie’s failure to make a soufflé – it is about her failing to really come into her own, and ends with her discovering why in a rather touching scene which really is the heart of the piece.
Overall, this story is entertaining, but feels a bit on the long side. Still, I can’t say that I wanted to quit reading it, or didn’t find it interesting, and as the story goes on, it hints more and more at the true cause of her failure.
Recommendation: Worth Reading
Height
by PoweredByTea
Adventure
10,382 wordsUp at the top of the sky, where the air is thin and the mares' tails clouds drift, a pegasus can find peace. It’s a place every pegasus should visit, but a place Rainbow knows the earthbound Fluttershy has never been. A tale of adventure down a path paved with the very best of intentions...
Why I added it: Every other thing PoweredByTea has ever written has won at least a “Recommended” from me. It has been on my you’re next list for far too long.
Review
Rainbow Dash flies up to the top of the world, rising a thermal and enjoying the feeling of being so high. But after a while, she gets bored, but it is way too early to go to bed. She wants to hang out with someone, but Applejack is straight out after the stunt she pulled earlier today, and Pinkie Pie is nowhere to be found.
She could hang out with Fluttershy, right? After all, the two of them go way back. But after a tea party and trying to help Fluttershy with her chores, Rainbow Dash gets bored again and wants to go flying. She wants to show Fluttershy what it is like up high. But Fluttershy is scared of thermals, scared of riding up to the top of the sky.
Ordinarily, this would be the end, but Rainbow Dash, frustrated and being stupid, decides that clearly the right thing to do is to lie to Fluttershy, saying she saw a flying squirrel get caught in the thermal. Fluttershy immediately decides it was Ace, and so the pair take off, up the thermal, then following the wind at the top of the sky into the Everfree forest, where he might have landed. But it is getting dark, and the Everfree is dangerous…
This story is a day in the life of Rainbow Dash, and goes from a very slice of life piece at the beginning to a more adventurey piece at the end, where the pair have to beat off a monster and escape from a forest which seems to be trying to hem them in, all because of Rainbow Dash’s lie. There are a couple of fantastic creatures, and eventually, as in all such tales, they overcome adversity and return to civilization.
Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were both well in character, and their behavior throughout the piece was understandable. While the central conflict may seem to be the lie, in reality the real conflict is inside Rainbow Dash, as she struggles with herself throughout the piece and drags Fluttershy along for the ride. Rainbow Dash’s frustration and boredom in the first part of the piece came through to me, but it was unfortunate that I myself felt a bit bored as the story didn’t really get rolling for a long time, and it very nearly lost me before they got into the forest. Once they were in the forest, though, it was pretty engaging until the end, which was okay, but petered out a bit.
The epilogue to this piece made me laugh, though, and left me walking out with a smile on my face.
Recommendation: Worth Reading if you don’t mind stories that take a while to get going.
It is Upon These Words
by Rebonack
Comedy, Slice of Life, Meta
3,009 wordsThere are many duties and obligations a Princess of Equestria must carry out and Twilight is in the midst of learning them. Over the past few days Princess Celestia has been tutoring Twilight in a series of strange, seemingly nonsensical rituals and incantations. Could this all be as vital to the survival of Equestria as Celestia insists, or has Twilight simply found herself caught in an elaborate prank courtesy of the wily white alicorn?
Why I added it: It was recommended to me.
Review
Her Most Serene Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle is to participate in some strange magical ritual necessary to the furtherance of the existence of Equestria. She’s being dressed up in an elaborate royal outfit, given an impressive-looking gold-plated torq, has strangely-patterned golden makeup applied to her fur, and is being treated very formally by the guards (as always). Her mane brushed, her lines for the ritual practiced, all that remains is for her to talk to engage in the ritual with Princess Luna and Celestia…
This felt like a shaggy dog story, but it wasn’t really quite one of those – all of the incidents in the story actually DID lead up to the ending, putting this more in the category of The Ending Changes Everything (though in a humorous way). And the end of it made me laugh quite loudly. But I can’t help but feel like Twilight’s musings about it possibly being a prank by Celestia somewhat lessened the surprise of the ending; the story isn’t actually all that funny until you get to the end, and realize just what you’ve been reading about.
Still, I can’t say I didn’t laugh at the end; the true nature of the piece is still giving me minor giggles.
Recommendation: Worth reading if you don’t mind shaggy dog stories.
Summary
Present Tense by Present Perfect
Not Recommended
Apple Whine by Ringcaat
Not Recommended
Pinkie Pie vs the Soufflé by Estee
Worth Reading
Height by PoweredByTea
Worth Reading
It is Upon These Words That the Fate of Equestria Hangs by Rebonack
Worth Reading
And there we go! And don’t forget to check out Recurring Nightmare, because I gotta plug my own stories.
It's in my contract.
With myself. 
Number of stories still listed as Read It Sooner: 91
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later: 372
Number of stories listed as Read It Eventually: 1725
I thought you were a dragon. Do you have a confession to make?
BAHAHAHA I NEVER KNEW PP HAD A SELF INSERT!
In my non-defense, when I wrote that, the Drama tag didn't exist. I wanted to put both Comedy and Sad on it, Chaplin-style. The system didn't allow it.
3549221 Now you can change it!
3549190
What I'm getting from this is Royal Guard = Not Recommended. Clearly, this is the right lesson.
3549599
Heh, these are stories from the queue we go through looking for stuff to put on the site posts.
3549631
I liked your story, by the way. I was surprised it didn't make the cut.
3549631 You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Princess Charming. Or develop a Frog-Princess Discontinuity Detector in order to find the inherent magical imbalance in the typical amphibian in order to accelerate the process.
YESSSSSS I HAVE DISCOVERED THE SECRET TO GETTING REVIEWS FROM TD 8D
3549701
Oh, from the writeoff?
Yeah, I suppose I should do a run-down post on that. I wasn't too surprised after reading the reviews; I think that the idea of Celestia being behind the map was offputting to a lot of folks, and I think that got in the way as that was the source of Twilight's conflict with Celestia.
And then the show promptly uncanoned it with the very next episode.
Thanks, Hasbro!
Thanks for the review, and sorry you thought Height took a while to get going. You know, maybe I should change the tag to [slice of life]? I was very torn between [adventure] and [slice of life] and I think I opted for adventure in the end just because then I could have something that wasn't tagged [slice of life], which is a terrible reason for selecting a tag. Sure, there is some mild peril (TM) in the second half, but maybe that isn't really the point of the story.
3560552
I don't think that the adventure tag is wrong, to be honest; many adventure stories start out with a day in the life, and then you go on the adventure.
Speaking of stories, do you have plans to write more? You're a great writer.
3560576
I have plans, of course. The trouble is I'm not unemployed any more. Which is great for having money, but it leaves me feeling mentally exhausted more often than not. That, and when I do manage to sit down I start feeling the ol' writer's anxiety.
But I'm trying to get something I wrote a long time ago publishable at the moment. Then I have this idea for a story involving Luna and these group of ponies whose job it is to remind Celestia and Luna that it is time to raise and lower the sun (it's a mostly ceremonial role, or at least, in modern times it is). It's mostly from the POV of an OC, so I can take comfort in the fact that nobody is going to read it.