There are many duties and obligations a Princess of Equestria must carry out and Twilight is in the midst of learning them. Over the past few days Princess Celestia has been tutoring Twilight in a series of strange, seemingly nonsensical rituals and incantations. Could this all be as vital to the survival of Equestria as Celestia insists, or has Twilight simply found herself caught in an elaborate prank courtesy of the wily white alicorn?
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I have no idea what I just read.
I LOVE IT!
Appease the great god Ha As BrO Twilight, or we shall surely suffer from the great cataclysmic know as Re Boot!
HASBRO!!!!
No wonder Luna is upset. She does not have one of herself.
Took me a while and a comment to figure it out...
Ow.
A great setup for an admittedly unique joke. I don't think anyone else has even thought of that yet. And I love your Twilight's inner monologues.
P.S.:
im so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will someone PLEASE explain?!?!
Well trolled, sirrah. Well trolled indeed.
3133288
Explain? No way! Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. It's won't be so hoppin' when you're done.
But I shall provide a hint! Read the description of the arcane sequestering chamber carefully and see if you can figure out what it is.
I figured it out around the gold painting.
i thiiiiiiink i know now....
haha, i loove it
What was the gold paint for?
but the story is hilarious! Celestia totally trolled Twilight.
3181386
Run a Google search for 'Talking Princess Twilight Sparkle' and all your questions will be answered.
Well, this might explain the recent influx in the royal treasury at least.
Bloody hilarious, good work.
99% buildup for 1% punchline? Magnificent. You just made my pre-reading day.
themcp.webs.com/Luna_sees_what_you_did_there.jpg
(We hath observed what thou didst perform there, o humorous scribe...)
'nuff said.
Okay, I honestly can't tell, so... was Celestia serious? I get the joke, just not sure how it's supposed to be playing out in-universe... or is that the point?
3286619
Or something like that.
3286647
Aw shoot, Rebonack, grats on the EQD feature brother! You deserve it.
I quickly got suspicious when I read about the booth, but when it was actually described I quickly understood what the text was hiding. Magnificent writing in saying so little with so much. The fact that it was narrated by Twilight greatly helped masking the true meaning.
The real question is if it is a prank or not. My personal opinion is that it both is and isn't.
Hot dignity damn, this story is awesome!
3286762
Heya Merlos!
Genius.
3286762>>3287538
Fancy seeing you two here. I'm going to now
harasstalk to both of you in the Skype chat.Hm. This is an odd one. I guess it works as a shaggy dog story, but the diversions from the final reveal are almost too diverting; it feels like you had a lot of headcanon and character moments you wanted to get out of your system, and they were actually quite good bits, but it feels a bit like I've just received a gag gift wrapped in exquisite imported gold-plated bubble wrap. Does that make sense? I'm actually distracted by the quality of your filler. Not a bad problem to have, as such, I suppose. Liked.
In the bit with the spice jars, check word usage; you have a "fair much better" when I think you mean "fare".
3286762>>3287538>>3287627
Are we waving at people in the comments now? Is that the thing we're doing?
Heh. Thank you for the kind words. If my story has gifted you with a smile then it did its job.
3287642
I think 'odd' accurately summarizes most everything I've ever written. Ever.
And I understand what you mean. I think. There's a fair bit going on aside from the gag itself. In particular Twilight trying to come to terms with the changes she has experienced and how she has been altered by her ascension. New opportunities for magic, new opportunities for friendship, new ways of thinking about herself and how she relates to other ponies. And, of course, new ways for Celestia to troll her.
Maybe I'm totally misunderstanding here. You're saying that the story could have benefited by being more tightly focused, yes?
Man, I'm torn on this. There's a lot of loose threads lying around that have me feeling kinda unsatisfied after finishing it. It's written pretty well and I laughed out loud at the punch line, so it's worth a like, but I feel like it would be better without some of the extra weight like the musings about Twilight's title. You also have a tendency toward potentially excessive wordiness that I've recently become very self-conscious about in my own writing, but that's kinda personal and it's entirely possible I'm being overly critical because of it.
Other than that, I think the (admittedly excellent) punch line is so meta that it should have a 'Random' tag.
3287938
I suspect it isn't just you. I've gotten more than one comment about the story needing a little more focus, so I'm not about to ignore that feedback. Hazzah for constructive criticism?
Glad the story made you laugh! My work here is done.
3287727
Yeah, a bit of focus might have helped. Nice content in general, though.
I don't know, I enjoy the "lack of focus". The whole thing is sort of open ended, and reading through one cannot help but wonder what this elaborate prank is. Then wham. Right at the end, we're hit with the punchline and bowled over (except for those who didn't get it).
This story reminds me of something I saw a a few years ago
3287642
3287938
3287727
I am also in two minds about this.
I certainly can see where Skywriter and Mook are coming from. The seriousness of Twilight's monologue and musings started distracting from the story. On the other hand, the extra weighty bits in the buildup gives the story a sense of gravitas that makes the punchline all the more barmy.
Overall I enjoyed this story as a meta one-shot. It certainly got a laugh out of me.
Excellent use of prepositions there. Pinkie doesn't throw parties for ponies. She throws parties at them.
A very enjoyable read. I'd actually like to see an epilogue, wherein Twilight continues to research the meaning behind the curious ritual. Either Pinkie or Discord could reveal the answer. Or both. Both works too.
3288784
I could, but we all know that leads to existential breakdown on Twilight's part.
After all, it's been explored before already.
3289011
Yes, but she wasn't an alicorn last time! And watching Purplesmart's sanity shatter is always such fun.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/614/639/9df.gif
Well played, good author. Well played.
I lol'd.
3289802
Good to hear!
That was kind of my aim.
hue
that has to be the best punch line ever. oh my goodness i laughed and laughed. bravo!
Now that was just fantastic, and easily worthy of a follow.
................
Oh, you fiend. You horrible, terrible fiend.
I love you so much right now
Very, very masterful story. Absolutely no way to predict the punchline before it was sprung.
Eh...
I get it, but... why? I mean, I know why WE find it funny, the doll and all that, but, in universe, why would Celestia make her do that? Is it some kind of fourth-wall joke? In which case, was there some sort of nod to that in the buildup that I missed? Any kind of hint that Celestia is aware of our world and Equestria's status in it? If not, then... what is the joke?
Well-written, and I did chuckle at the punch line... but two minutes later, I was confused to the point where... iunno.
First:
I'm going to echo what 3287642 said — though personally I think this story could have been just as awesome if it lost the punchline. You've got the worldbuilding to carry a serious story here. To make it work as a comedy, yeah, slimming it down would make the payoff more worthwhile.
Three paragraphs from the end I figured it out. I was aghast to say the least xD.
I wish I had been drinking something while reading. This ending deserves a proper spit-take.
3287642
Call me crazy, but that's probably the best way to describe this story. And it shouldn't change one bit. The extra seriousness and bits that pretend to be leading somewhere make the actual ending all the more unexpected.
This was just perfect.
I was thinking it was going to be a television or something at first, but once I got to the final lines, it all clicked.
Beautiful.
Though I do agree with 3287642 and 3287938 that there might have been a bit too much filler, though on the other hand, I suppose part of the joke of a shaggy dog story is that it builds you up until you find out that the dog wasn't actually that shaggy. I think my biggest problem was that Twilight's musing on it all possibly being a prank by Celestia undercut the surprise of the ending being what it was.
Still, her posing for her doll for Hasbro is hilarious and terrible and fits in perfectly with all we're told about the ritual.
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.