The reveille had barely started blaring before my hoof met my alarm and I was gliding down the hall to claim the bathroom as my own. With a crack of thunder, sweet, hot water met soft, lilac soap; a steamy fog wrapped itself around me as I enjoyed the benefits of having lazy, snooze-hitting brothers.
“Oi!” Dad pounded out a sweet beat on the bathroom door as I nailed the latest Emerald Coast song—the shower cloud rumbling like a hurricane as I danced up a storm. “Turn it down before you wake the dead, ya loon! You’ve got five more minutes before your brothers start playing with the kitchen faucet!”
“If they can even get their lazy butts out of bed!” I giggled and started an encore. Picking up one of several conditioners Diamond insisted I needed, I lathered my coat for another run in the water, smirking as Dad stopped fighting, and joined me in belting out lyrics.
He kept himself perfectly in range for Mom, Red, and the rest of the town below. My ears flicked as Mom laughed and joined him when the rumble of thunder heralded him dancing back to the kitchen; the three of us easily drowned out Red’s shouting and Rolling’s squeaky whine as they tried to dig deeper into their beds, but even they couldn’t keep going as the smell of pancakes drifted through the house.
Shower done after just three more songs, I skidded out of the bathroom and past the troublesome twerps with a spring in my step, strutting down the hall to the kitchen.
“Looks like somepony is ready for their senior year.”
I only blushed a little as Dad laughed when I waltzed in for breakfast, sitting next to him as Mom nosed my plate forward.
“I’m just really excited, okay?”
“Aye. I can tell.” His grin just made me squirm and blush harder. “You already planning your biology final when prom comes around?”
“Tempered!” Mom’s wing was swift.
“Dad!” My squeak was shrill.
“What?” With a chuckle, Dad ducked under Mom’s follow up. “You’re the one who insists I treat you like an adult.”
“Not like that, though!”
“So it’s alright if I go back to treating you like my precious little light in the night?”
“Daaaaaaaad!”
Ruffling my mane, Dad gave way before my ferocious glower to go back to his paper with a laugh. “Love ya, sport.”
“I love you too.” I might have smiled while wolfing down my eggs—moony-side up and cratered with black pepper—but my fork flew too fast for anypony to catch it. I snapped up my toast to go, and hugged both Mom and Dad as I headed for the door.
“Don’t stay out too late.” Mom sniffed and pulled me back for a second nuzzle just as the twins dragged themselves into the kitchen.
“Only if I have to.” Mom hugs were still and always would be the best: even Diamond hugs only managed a tie.
I leapt out the door and over the edge of the porch into a glide, banking in a circle to catch a rising thermal. Zooping past the door for one more wave, I kicked it shut, and turned to squint at Princess Twilight’s sparkly castle of doom in the distance. It shined with an unholy brilliance that made me hiss as I reached for my glasses.
“Alright, looks like there’s…” I squinted harder to see through the sparkles. “...twenty?” I counted again, frowning. “Twenty-ish cadets. That’s… actually more than I was expecting. I really hope this doesn’t end up like last year….”
A few of them glanced my way as I came in for a landing, though most went right back to their stretches. Several more whistled as I pulled out my weights from the equipment chest.
Absolutely nopony could ignore when I pulled my key chain off of my bag to suddenly end up with an entire pile of armor. Sabatons, peytral, helm, and wing guards: Aunt Mercy had spared no expense on my birthday over the years. I loved her to pieces for it, but—
“Daaaaaaayumn, filly.”
—it did suck when it grabbed the wrong kind of attention.
Ignoring the whispers, I suited up, did my stretches, and waited for the sergeant to show up.
“What in the name of all things cinnamon swirl are you lot doing staring at a minor, cadets?!” The entire group winced as Sergeant Smiles made her way out of the castle, instantly lining up to salute her.
“Oi! Put those hooves back down! I am not the sergeant you sorry lump of sad sacks got saddled with!” She glanced at them, snorting. “And you can thank your lucky stars for that. The lot of you would drop faster than pegasi tied to anvils if I got my hooks in you!”
Walking right past the cadets as they hardly dared to breathe, Sergeant Smiles smiled as she reached me. “Platoon Commander Nightingale, show them how a real soldier salutes!”
“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!” My salute was already perfect, I hadn’t left attention since she showed up.
“At ease, soldier.” She nodded after a moment, still smiling as she turned back to the cadets. My spine tingled as it got wider. “You lot better learn fast, because my son-in-law isn’t anywhere near as forgiving as I am! Am I clear?!”
“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!”
“What did I say about saluting me?!” Sergeant Smiles snorted as one cadet made the mistake of apologizing, turning to look towards the sky.
“Turkey Legs and Chicken Wings gonna join us today, Dark Horse?”
“No.”
“Let’s get going, then.” She began to stretch, and I followed her lead. “Your mom made me promise to get you to school at least half an hour early.”
“I don’t need thirty minutes to take a shower.”
“No buts. I barely managed to get out of the Pinkie Promise.”
“Fine….” I shivered as we started our run, Sergeant Fishflakes already tearing a new one into his fresh, little daisies as we passed.
Anything to avoid invoking the Pink one.
Five minutes in and out. That’s all it took. No singing. No dancing. It was too dangerous to do that in the school showers.
Somepony might catch me.
I was out with plenty of time to spare. The yard was slowly filling was students as the clock got closer and closer to nine. My entrance was met with a stomping cheer, and I fought down a blush as I strutted through the flock, grinning like a loon under moon.
“Hey, Night! You going to give the baseball team another run this year? Last year sucked without you!”
“Baseball? Ha! She was right to dump you after her first two years! She’s coming right back where she belongs, the hoofball team!”
“Five bits says she does neither and steals Scoots spot as track captain!”
Eyes on the prize. Don’t feed the fire. That way lead to nothing but burning.
Slowly pushing my way through the throng, I made my way over to the hanging tree, and gave hoofbumps to Scoots, Rumble, and Silver. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Silver smirked as she bumped me back. “You ever going to tell them you aren’t doing sports this year?”
“Why ruin the surprise?” I shrugged as I clambered up the tree to my rightful spot. “They’re gonna start hazing Button the instant they find out I’m joining games club.”
Rumble snerked. “The great and mighty Nightingale, facing down the evil Squizard.”
“Oi! I told you I’m not getting into O&O.” Swinging forward, I gave him a well-deserved thwap. “Tabletop war games are where it’s at.”
“Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late. What are we talking about?” Diamond sauntered into the shade like she always did to give me my morning hello.
Three whole seconds over the moon with a tiny nibble to my lip as she pulled back; she giggled when I was left with a big, dopey grin and a blush as black as midnight.
“Morning, Night.” Her eyelashes fluttered, sending my stomach through all sorts of loops into the distance.
“Morning, Night.”
“Is there an echo in the building?” Booping me on the nose, she tittered.
“Morning, Night.”
“I think you broke her again, Diamond.” Scoots snickered, and Silver rolled her eyes.
“Morning, Night.” I nodded in agreement before Diamond swooped in for a more chaste peck on the cheek. Swinging back with a squeak, my head bonked right into the tree, and I was finally able to shake all the stars out of my eyes. “Darn it, Diamond.”
“What? It snapped you out of it, didn’t it?” Diamond tittered before sashaying towards me again. “You want another one to make your boo-boos all better?”
“Maybe.” My face burned as she waggled her brow and Scoots’ gagged up a storm.
“Well, then. Come and get— Eeep!”
I made sure to tackle her into the bush to preserve at least some of her dignity.
“Mrgrmmmf! Night! Don’t ruin the mane! It took two hours to get it ri— Teeheeheehaahaahaa!”
Ribs tickled and victory secured, I rolled out of the bush with her to begin grooming her back to perfection.
“Curse you and your pointy teeth.” With a sigh, Diamond leaned into me as I raked my fangs through her mane. “You know they aren’t anywhere near as good as a real brush.”
I said nothing, preferring to just keep combing. My tail swept through hers to clear it of leaves and debris while I nibbled on a caterpillar that had gotten stuck in her mane.
“And you wonder where all the rumors come from.” Silver leaned on my tree and snorted, while Rumble distracted Scoots to keep her from gagging.
“I know where the rumors come from!” I pulled back to stick my tongue out at Silver. “I just don’t understand how they get so unbelievable! My life is not a Mexicolten soap opera!”
The bell rang as Silver opened her mouth to respond, and the yard quickly turned into a mad dash for lockers. Sweetie and Bloom caught us right at the door for a group high hoof, but we were all sent completely different ways as the tide of ponies dragged us towards our lockers.
Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-nine. My hooves twirled the tumbler round with practiced ease as I shrugged my saddle bag to the floor. Nosing it open, I pulled out all my books out and quickly organized them before tossing the bag up on the hook. I grabbed my homeroom folder and my leaden Equish brick, and I turned to hip bump my locker closed with a satisfying clang.
Two steps towards class and some unicorn had to barrel down the hall straight into me. I just barely heard him in time to roll with the blow so he didn’t splat against me like I was a brick wall.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry!” He flailed off of me without even pausing.
“Oi. Watch it, Greenie.” As the totally-a-first-year scrambled off, I grabbed the nape of his neck and pulled him up. “Don’t run in the halls.”
“No time! Don’t wanna be late!”
“You’ve still got fifteen minutes.” I squinted at him as he continued to run in mid air. “That’s more than enough time to get to class.”
“Not if I wanna avoid—”
“Oi, Shrimp Breath! I’ve been looking all over for you! You forgot your lunch!”
“Oh, no….” The unicorn instantly slumped in my grip.
Shrimp Breath? I mouthed the nickname, ear flicking. There’s no way this weichei could stomach shrimp. I could already hear his stomach revolting.
“You better eat it all up! The catch was huge at my gramps’ this year!” A massively muscular pegasus with little stumps for wings and a crab for a cutie mark strutted up like he owned the school.
His bag smelled fishy enough to make me salivate, which meant everypony else was giving him a good twenty to thirty hands of space. It was an easy enough problem to solve, though.
“Oi! Fishface! You listening? I got your favorite! You can go back to getting shoved in a locker when I’m done with you.”
I really hope I didn’t need to introduce his face into some free real estate. The five minute warning rang and it was suddenly an empty hall as I turned to glower at my newest prey.
“Oi. Greenie. What’s your real name?”
“B-b-b-beanstalk, Ma’am! P-please don’t shove me in the—”
“Beanstalk.” I cut him off, setting him down with my hoof still in place to make sure he wouldn’t run. “Who’s the einzeller?”
“The what?”
Oh, my mistake, there were two brain cells in there. I could see sparks flying furiously between them when he sneered after a few seconds too many.
“Nevermind, I guess you’re a zweizeller.”
“That’s what I thought.” The thug ruffled his wings and snorted.
“H-his name is Crusty Catcher!” Beanstalk curled his thin frame around me like his namesake.
“My friends call me Catcher.” Ah, he thought he could growl.
How cute.
“Crusty.” I bared my fangs in a grin. “Can I call you, Crusty? Yes? Awesome. Listen, Crusty, because I’m only going to say this once.”
Reaching into Crusty’s bag, I pulled out a salt-encrusted lunchbox, popped it open, and poured about a buckets worth of garlic shrimp down my gullet. I licked my lips at the taste as Crusty blanched, but the real prize was seeing him step back.
“No one likes a bully.”
Leaning forward, I finally let go of Beanstalk; I knew he wouldn’t run. “I don’t shove ponies in lockers. I don’t feed daydwellers fish. And I definitely don’t let others do those things. Remember that the next time you try to pick on someone in my school, or you’ll learn exactly why we don’t have bullies.”
“What are you going to do? Snitch on me?”
Definitely a zweizeller. I could see the smoke. “For your second strike? Yes.” I turned to start walking Bean to class. “You don’t want to find out what happens on strike three.”
As we turned the corner, Beanstalk finally let out the gasp he’d been holding and collapsed in a spineless pile of goo. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! Mwwwah! Mwwwah!”
“Oi. Stop kissing my hooves like I’m some sorta princess.” I jumped back and winced as Beanstalk didn’t stop fast enough to miss the floor. My brow merely arched as he flailed to his hooves.
“Sorry! Let’s—” He stopped to pant for a few moments. “Let’s try again, shall we?” He held out his hoof. “Hi, I’m Beanstalk.”
“Nightingale.” I grunted as I took his hoof, looking at a nearby clock. “Fewmits. Look, can we do this later? I’m probably going to be late as it is if I’m gonna escort you to class.”
His smile fell. “I’m… fine. Really. Just seeing Catcher put in his place was enough.”
“Are you sure? He seems the type to blame you for all this.” I bit my lip, glancing at the clock again.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Bobbing his head, he managed to start walking on his own with only a little bit of a quiver. “I don’t like being a bother. We can talk some other time, maybe.”
“Well, I’m gonna hold you to that, Greenbean. Stop by my table at lunch, and we’ll see how I can help you.” With a quick wave, I split the other way for homeroom.
“Trouble with the first years again?” Mrs. Cheerilee didn’t even look up from her notes as I squeezed through the door with moments to spare.
“You’d think—” I winced as the bell rang, scrambling into the seat next to Diamond. “—all my hard work would last longer.”
“If it helps any, I’ve heard it’s mostly just the newer transfer students who are causing trouble.” Mrs. Cheerilee sighed as she glanced up to look out the window. “And foals will be foals. Usually, that’s the best part of the job. Sometimes it’s the worst.”
Shaking her head, she stood and moved in front of the chalkboard to start roll call. It was the same roll call I’d heard since I moved to Ponyville, and it was so routine at this point that Mrs. Cheerilee barely paused to wait for our answers. Her pen stayed tucked behind her ear because she’d already marked us all down as we came in, and it was only when she got to the two absent ponies at the bottom of the list that she stopped to glance at the door one more time before turning to face Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
“Girls, you wouldn’t happen to know why Scootaloo is already trying to break her record, would you?”
“Sorry, Mrs. Cheerilee.” Apple Bloom shook her head. “Me and Sweetie were running late earlier and barely got to say ‘hi’ before we had to head for our lockers.”
“It’s not that hard to figure out why she’s late when Rumble’s the other one missing.” Silver smirked.
“Wait, Mrs. Cheerilee! We’re here!” Completely out of breath, with their manes and wings ruffled like they’d been through a hurricane, Scoots and Rumble burst through the door with a pair of matching shiners and a couple of paper slips in their hooves.
Mrs. Cheerilee blinked at the sight before shaking her head to take their hall passes and look through the note from the nurse. “Really, you two?”
“It’s not as bad as it looks, Mrs. Cheerilee.” Scoots rubbed the back of her head, looking down.
“Most ponies would say getting caught fighting on the first day of school is very bad.”
“It was just a bit of sparring, though! We would have been fine if the bell hadn’t gone off early like that!” Her hoof brushed over her black eye, poking it as she tested its sensitivity.
“The bell is timed, Scootaloo; it can’t ring early.”
“It can if the clocks are all running fast!” Wings buzzing up small little cracks of lightning, Scoots looked to Rumble for support.
“You’re just mad I won the bet. Ow! Hey! What was that for?!” Rubbing the back of his head, Rumble hip checked his fillyfriend.
“If you’ve got to ask that—” She bumped him right back. “—you forfeit the bonus prize.”
“Just take your seats before you get in even more trouble, you two.” Bringing her hoof to her forehead, Mrs. Cheerilee messaged her temple. “I’ll have the letters for your parents done by last period.”
“The usual?” Scoots tilted her head with an impish grin.
“It’s the first day of school.” Mrs. Cheerilee shook her head. “I think I’ll spare you and Abacus from torturing each other.”
“Awesome.” Scoots skidded to the one desk left that wasn’t trapped up front. “Dibs!”
“Of course, she sticks me up front.” Rumble sighed to himself as he picked the seat closest to the door. “At least I’ll be the first one out.”
“Are we all settled then?” Mrs. Cheerilee glanced at the clock as we chorused various affirmatives. “Good. You all know each other more than enough by now, so we can skip introductions. Just let me pass out the usual start of the year announcements, and we can get start voting for class president.”
“I nominate—” My hoof flew immediately into the air.
“I nominate Night!”
“—Diamond!” It wasn’t fast enough. She was onto me.
“That’s wonderful, you two, but I’m not writing nominations down until I’m done passing these out.”
Diamond and I eyed each other warily for a moment or two with the shuffling of paper as the only sound.
“I told you I didn’t want to run this year.”
“Poppycock. You only think you don’t want to run.”
“You can’t make me accept.”
“You think you can make me?”
“I can when my back up plan is Snails.”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Alright, who has nominees for class president?” Mrs. Cheerilee grabbed her chalk, back turning at the perfect moment.
“I nominate Diamond Tiara and Snails!” One hoof raised like lightning; the other hoof intercepted Diamond’s mouth.
“Mfff!” Eyes wide, Diamond thrust her hoof in the air.
“I also refuse any and all nominations, here and now! Having been class president for the past three years, I feel somepony new needs to take charge, and I fully endorse Diamond and Snails as being capable for the job!”
“Mrgrmff!” Diamond waved her hoof like a loon under moon.
“Really? Nopony’s ever nominated me for anything!” Snail’s big, goofy grin somehow got wider.
I pulled my hoof away as Mrs. Cheerilee started to write down Snail’s name.
“I nominate Apple Bloom!”
“Well, shucks, I’m mighty flattered, Diamond, but I actually agree with Night here.”
“I nominate Sweetie Belle!”
“I like being secretary more.”
“Scoota—” Diamond paused. “Silver Spoon?”
“Hey!” Scoots scowled.
“Pass.” Silver shrugged. “Too much work.”
“Eurgh…. Fine. I accept, but only if no pony else gets nominated!”
No pony else raised their hoof; Diamond’s fate was sealed.
“I can’t believe Mrs. Cheerilee had to play tiebreaker.” Four periods later, I was still fuming as I sat down for lunch.
“I can….” Diamond drooped, ears flattening against her head.
“Oi. Stop it with the pity party.” I leaned over for a peck before nipping her ear. “Mrs. Cheerilee picked you for a reason.”
“The last time I ended up class president, we ended up with a stained glass window of me.”
“The last time you were elected, you thought your Mom was a decent role model.”
Diamond’s face curdled into a horrific, many-chinned beast. “The no-good, two-bit, saddle-chaser.”
“Right!” I forced myself to smile even as the rest of the girls sans Silver scooted back. “See how different you are, now? You’ll totally do a better job, and Mrs. Cheerilee knows that.”
“H-h-hello. I’m n-not interrupting something, am I?” Poor Beanstalk quailed as the full eldritch might of Diamond’s displeasure blasted him as we all turned to see who was talking.
“Bean! Bean, Bean, Bean!” I snagged him before he could evaporate, and plopped him down beside me—acting as a shield from Diamond. “Pop a squat and get ready to squawk. Girls, meet Greenbean, he’s the first year I helped out earlier today.”
“It’s, uh… Beanstalk, Miss Nightingale, Ma’am.”
“Well, yeah. I just figured you’d like a nickname that wasn’t Shrimp Breath. If you don’t like it, we can come up with something else, but it fits you being a first year.”
“I’d, uh—” He gulped, glancing over the other tables. “—rather you just use my name.” Shaking his head, he closed his eyes. “Or Bean… Bean also works.”
“Got it.” I grinned. “Say hello to Bean, girls!”
“Hey.” Sweetie Belle beamed.
“Howdy.” Apple Bloom smiled.
“Sup.” Scoots smirked.
“Charmed.” Silver was dead inside, like always.
“A pleasure.” And Diamond’s face was still stuck like she smelled spoiled milk, but she tried.
“There are things we can do that the teachers can’t. Teachers can’t back you up in a fight. We can. Teachers can’t pull pranks that knock ponies down a peg. We can. Most importantly, though, we can help your image where teachers can’t. You dig?” I grinned and slapped Bean on the back.
“N-not really?”
“Names have power.” Face finally twisted back to her normal, beautiful self, Diamond poked at her salad. “That’s why Night wanted to give you a new nickname. Shrimp Breath, Monkey Butt, Blank Flank; whenever a bully insults you like that, they’re trying to isolate you from the herd.”
Looking up at Bean, she frowned, and I leaned in to nuzzle her. “When ponies see twerpy little Shrimp Breath getting picked on, they take a step back, and avoid the crossfire. When ponies see bright and friendly Greenbean get bullied? They’ll back you up instead.”
“If he doesn’t like Greenbean, he doesn’t need to use it, Di.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know….”
Bean glanced between everypony, biting his lip.
“So what’s yer story, Bean?” Apple Bloom tossed him one of her apples. “Everypony has one. You got any idea why Crusty’s got it in for you?”
“Try us.” Silver’s mouth curved a fraction of an inch downwards as she leaned in.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Interesting…. Timid, little Bean had some real spunk buried deep inside if he could glare at Silver like that.
“If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.” Fluttershy had soothed manticores with tones less soft than Sweetie’s.
“It does make it kind of hard to help, though.” Scoots grumbled only to grin like a loon under moon. “Good thing there’s always plan B! How do you feel about learning to take on punks three times your size without a scratch?”
“Uh….”
“No, it doesn’t hurt as much as you’re thinking.” Popping a juice box in my mouth, I schlurped it dry. “Scoots might start you off training at full blast, but that’s why she’s not teaching.”
“Hey!”
“Are you?” Bean finally managed to somehow crunch into the apple Bloom gave him like it was a wet noodle. His ears perked as the juice hit, and then it was gone—as was the fate of all Sweet Apple Acres apples.
His lunch soon started to follow.
“Me?” I chuckled, holding up my hoof and looking it over. “Sweet Nightmother, no. I mean, I could… maybe? I can spar with you at least, but I’m out of practice fighting ponies bigger than me. I’m really not the best teacher for the job.”
“Night, you regularly head into the Everfree forest with your dad and Fluttershy to wrestle full-grown manticores.” Silver narrowed her eyes as she adjusted her glasses. “Don’t feed us horseapples like that.”
“That’s just a rumor—”
“A true rumor.”
“—that’s grown way out of hoof.” I set my hoof down with a frown. “Last I checked, the claim was I took on two hydras, a chimera, and the ghost of Nightmare Moon… at the same time!”
“So you don’t wrestle manticores in the Everfree?” Silver’s mouth quirked up as I squirmed.
“Well… no, I do….” I looked over at Bean. “It’s just one on one, though. I’m not anywhere near as good as my dad. That’s why you’re better off with him or my mom. They taught me most of what I know, and they don’t mind helping out friends if I bring them over.”
“Your parents taught you to wrestle manticores.” It was a statement, not a question, as Bean’s face scrunched up.
“Just my dad. Most towns don’t have monster attacks, so Mom never focused on those.”
“Pffft!” Scoots ear flicked like it was on fire as she reached up to scratch it. “Yeah, she was too busy teaching you to fight dirtier than a diamond dog.”
“Wet willies barely even count, and you know it.” I stuck out my tongue and wriggled it for good measure. “You’re the one who flaunts her flank to throw off Rumble.”
“At least he dies happy.” With a smirk, she winked and returned fire. “Even the unconquerable Nightingale occasionally falls when I walk the walk.”
“I told you, I slipped and fell.” I rustled my wings and tried not to blush as Bean made a choking noise.
“There, there, Night. I’ve got this.” Diamond rubbed my withers and leaned over to Scoots with a predatory grin. “Hey, Scootaloo. Did I just hear you’ve been hitting on my fillyfriend?”
“Uhhh….”
“Cause I could have sworn you just said that.”
“Nooooooo? I don’t know what you’re talking about, she totally slipped and fell.”
“What have I gotten myself into?” Hacking and pounding his chest, Bean finally managed more than a wheeze.
“Eh, it’s Ponyville. What do you expect?” Silver shrugged.
“Yeah, this barely even registers on the crazy meter.” Scoots nodded. “So Beanie Boy? You wanna die happy?”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Good! I was planning on practicing my wet willies anyways.”
“I think he means he’ll pass on the training, Scoots.” I rolled my eyes. “Good going. You scared another one off.”
“Look.” Bean shook his head, standing with the rest of his tray. “I’ll think about it, okay? I’m really thankful for this morning, but the more we talk about this, the more it feels like I’m just going to be a burden to you.”
“Well, if that’s how you feel.” I grimaced. “Just remember that we’re here to help, okay?” Glancing around the first year side of the cafeteria, I stood in kind to shake his hoof. “And let us know if Crusty starts making trouble, alright?”
“Will do.” With a nod, Bean was off, but I could see Crusty glaring at us all as Bean headed for an empty seat.
The last bell rang, and we were gone like the wind. The school was nothing but an empty husk as everypony chilled out front, figuring out what to do. I made my way through the crowd with a series of nods and smiles, but my eyes were always on the prize; our tree was swinging hypnotically in the wind—its sweet shade crooning for some thestral to fill it.
“Enjoy your walk of fame?” Diamond smirked as I finally made it through the last few cliques to the edge of the school grounds.
“About as much as I usually do.” My fillyfriend got a whole lot more than a smile and wave as I swept her up in a hug. “Sweet Nightmother above, I was this close to just hopping through their shadows.”
“You know you love it.” She smirked and waggled her brow as she pulled back with a pop.
“Maybe a little.” Drawing her in again with my wings, I rained a series of pecks and giggles upon her. “But I’d much rather be here with you and the girls.”
“Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but you’ll have to settle for just me today. Silver’s stuck with an early shift, and the three stooges are off giving Lickity Split another intervention.”
“Don’t tell me he’s licking all the ice cream before serving it again….” I resisted the urge to facehoof and rested my forehead on hers as we cuddled up beneath the tree.
“It’s not that this time, thank Celestia. Bloom’s just peeved from having to clean up after him every time we throw a party in the barn.”
“How does he even sneak that many tubs of sea salt ice cream in?”
“I have absolutely no idea, and I really don’t want to know.” Diamond shivered, scooting closer underneath my wing.
“So… it's just us, then?” I hrmmed.
“Eeyup. Just us.” Glowering at a few whispering onlookers, Diamond sniffed extra imperiously. “We got a few harpies on us, but they don’t count.”
“Pffft. Let them watch. We’ll call it instructional PT.” Waggling my brows, I leaned in for an extra daring snoozle.
“You know, your Dad is a horrible influence on you. I remember a time when you would have run at the thought of somepony watching us; now, you’re into exhibitionism.”
“Oi! You don’t get to lecture me about putting on a performance.” I nipped her ear a little harder as my neck burned black. “Quit flapping that silver tongue before I make you do it.”
“I’d like to see you— Mmmmmmmmmmm….” Diamonds eyes glazed as I made good on my threat, and I grinned as the harpies huffed and walked off.
Took care of two birds with one stone. I was on solfire today!
“Come on, sleeping beauty. Wake up.” I nuzzled Diamond—eyes still glassy—until she found it in herself to return to the land of the living.
“Ooooooh… Niiiiiiight…. You were supposed to hoofcuff me to the bed first….”
“Well, sport, I had time to pick you up today, but I can see you’re busy, aren’t ya?”
“Screep!” I immediately tumbled back from Diamond as Dad flew in laughing his flank off.
“No, no! Do continue!” Dad waggled his brow at me. “I’ll go run interference by dragging your mom out to dinner.”
“Dad!” I clutched at my chest as I lay gasping next to Diamond.
“Yeeeeeeees?” He grinned at me like a loon under moon.
“Not funny!” I flailed to my hooves and swatted him.
“Who said I was joking, sport? I’ve always wanted grandfoals.”
“Dad!” The swatting turned to slugging, but had little effect either way.
“Teehee! You heard him, Night. We have an obligation now.” Diamond stretched as she stood, her saddlebags sliding slightly down her barrel as she arched her back.
“Dad!” With one final thwap, my squeak went supersonic.
“Fie. Ruin my fun, then.” Dad brushed his chest off with his hoof, rustling his wings as Diamond giggled. He winked at her before slugging me back, and I tried not to blush even harder. “You’d be singing a different tune if I was stuck defending you from a bunch of no-good colts, though.”
“You’re a no-good colt,” I pouted.
“Aye?” Dad laughed so loud a few of the students still lounging about looked towards the Everfree for some unscheduled clouds. “Why do you think I was so set to keep their nasty fangs out of you?!”
“Mrgmff… whatever.” I stood and stretched. “Let’s just get going.” Nuzzling Diamond one last time, I leapt into the air after Dad.
“So, how was your first day on top sport?” Side by side, Dad and I both took point towards the old one-room school house. “Any scuffles I should know about?”
“Scoots and Rumble almost got detention for sparring already.” My wings skipped a quarter beat ahead of Dad as I snerked, but that was easy enough to correct on the next downbeat. “Other than that, there’s only really one fight brewing on the horizon. A transfer student.”
“Hah! Bloody maggot has no idea what he’s in for, does he?”
“No, sir.” I smiled, banking in a circle as we hit a thermal. “He’s got good taste in shrimp, though. Caught him trying to feed somepony seafood, so that was easy to fix.”
“Mmmm….” Dad licked his lips. “I told you justice is to be savoured.”
“Sometimes more than others.” I grinned.
We glided down as our destination neared, a gaggle of troublesome twerps swarming about the playground as they waited for their parents. Mr. Book Binder was watching them from the door—dog-eared and bag-eyed, but smiling—and he nodded to us with a yawn as we landed.
“Toughest foals I’ve ever had, Tempered. You were right.” The teacher hoofed Tempered a note before gesturing inside. “My wife tried to warn me about the glasses, but she didn’t mention anything about teleporting. Rolling’s been hiding up in the rafters all day.”
Dad read the note, shaking his head. “Sorry about that. He seems to have a knack with the shadows, and a decent dose of solfire is more than enough to get him surging. Is he alright?”
“He seems to be.” Adjusting his glasses and bow tie, Mr. Book Binder squirmed like a worm. “He was well enough to pop down and grab his brother a little bit before class ended.”
“Sounds like he’s fine, then. If you don’t mind, though, Morning and I might purchase some extra drapes to donate to the schoolhouse.” Dad poked his head inside to glance around at the windows. “It’ll be better to be safe than sorry knowing those two; accidents happen, but enough sunlight might do some serious damage at Rolling’s age.”
“Of course! Whatever you think will help.” Mr. Book Binder bowed his head. “I’ve been reading some books to help prepare me for any hiccups, but they’re all written by ponies who adopted thestral foals.”
“Books aren’t going to help you here, Bookie.” Dad slapped him on the back with a rumbling laugh. “Trust me. The books didn’t help with Nightingale, and she was way better behaved than the twins.”
“Those twerps have got nothing on me.” I puffed out my chest.
“Tell you what.” Dad clicked several times to get a lock on Red and Rolling, his ears twitching as the two of us stepped inside. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to take Morning on a date. Have Cheerilee pick a nice restaurant, and Morning and I can tell you everything we’ve picked up on during the years. Sound good?”
“That sounds perfect, actually.” Mr. Book Binder remained at his post, watching the other foals. “Wear dance shoes this time, though, will you?”
“Hah! I learned my lesson the first time, Bookie. No need to always rub it in.” Dad let out one last click before pausing beneath one of the central rafters. Looking up, he smiled and waved at the shadows, chuckling when a pair of giggles echoed down.
“Alright, boys. You’ve had your fun. You ready to come down, now?” Dad squinted. “You’ve already been plenty naughty today, so choose wisely.”
“Daddy!” Red and Rolling both plowed into Dad with a squeal of laughter. “Where were you?! Why did you leave?! The sun got hungry when you left!”
“I heard.” Dad chuckled as they crawled atop him, nudging them into line on his back. “Are you alright, Rolling?”
“It tried to eats me!” Rolling instantly broke formation to bury his face in Dad’s neck. He couldn’t quite wrap his forelegs all the way around Dad’s neck, but that didn’t stop him from strangling Dad. “Why’d you and Mom go?”
“Woah there, sport. Easy.” Reaching around to grab Rolling, Dad cradled him in one arm. “I’m here now. You were really brave. Do your eyes still bother you at all?”
“N-no?” Rolling sniffed as Red climbed Dad’s neck to look down on his brother from on high.
“I helped make it better! He wanted juice!” Red beamed as he wagged his tail while perching atop Dad.
“Juice helped.” Rolling nodded, feeling at his glasses. “Shade help more. Red gave shade back.”
“I warned you to be careful, twerp.” Gently booping my bat-bro’s nose, I turned and scooped Red up before he could crawl over Dad’s face to get in on the hugging action. “And I warned you to look out for him.”
“Hey! I did!” Red flared his feathery wings with a squawk, pouting over my shoulder as I squeezed the stuffing out of him. “I gave him juice!”
“Yeah, Night, juice.” Dad stuck his tongue out at me. “You know how juice solves everything.”
“See!” Red squirmed back and thunked me on the chest.
“Did you look out for your brother before his shades were knocked off?” I arched my brow down at him.
“No….”
“What were you doing instead?” It arched further.
“Eating glue….”
“And what was the result?” And further still.
“Swirlie Whirl hurt Rolling….” Red looked away for a moment. “But he— He didn’t mean to! Honest! We were playing!”
“Accidents happen, squirt.” Dad nuzzled Rolling one last time before placing him on his back. “I’m not mad at you or your brother, but you both need to promise me you’ll let the teacher help you when things like this happen. Mister Book Binder is here to help you, and he can’t do that if you’re both hiding in the rafters.”
“M’sorry.” Rolling’s ears flattened.
“I just said I’m not mad.” Dad laughed and booped Rolling’s snoot before starting to head for the door. “You followed your instincts, and your instincts weren’t wrong. They just weren’t a hundred percent right?”
“In-stink?” Rolling perked a little. “What’s instink?”
“Hrmmmm….” Dad tilted his head. “You remember asking about those pictures we have of you and your brother flying?”
“No?” Rolling tilted his head.
“I do! I do!” Red puffed out his chest and preened. “Daddy said I was too much of a thot to fly, but I’m getting better!” He buzzed off my back for a good five seconds before plopping back down to pant. “See!”
It took a lot of willpower to keep a straight face; Dad barely even tried to hold back his snickering.
“Yes, Red, you’re getting better. Just don’t ever say that in front of your mother.”
“Why?”
“Because your mother might get the wrong idea, and her first instinct will be no dessert for a week for all of us.” Dad grinned as Red and Rolling gasped. “Exactly. Nopony wants that, do they?”
“No!” Both of them chorused.
“Good. Now, I didn’t call you a thot, but I did say you were overthinking it. Understand?” Dad waited until both brothers nodded to continue. “Instinct is when you don’t think. It’s like breathing; you just do it. Does that make sense?”
The terrible twosome glanced between each other. “No!”
I facehooved. “Please tell me I was never like this, Dad.”
“You were a different kind of adorable, Night.” Dad chuckled, nodding at Mr. Book Binder as we walked out of the school.
“Bye, Mistah Booky!”
“Bye, Booky! Bye!”
“Have a nice day, boys.” Mr. Book Binder briefly looked away from the rest of his class to smile at us. “And you as well, Night. Cheerilee is looking forward to another year with you. It’s almost a shame this one is going to be your last.”
“Thank you, Mr. Book Binder.” I blushed. “I’m looking forward to it myself.”
“Oh, she’s more than looking forward to it, Bookie.” Dad bent down to stretch, his wings flaring for a few flaps as he arched his back. “She strutted out of the shower this morning like she was the Nightmother’s gift to ponykind.”
“Dad!” My wing shot towards him only to be intercepted by his own. Several growls, screes, and hisses soon followed as one thwap turned into a wing-swinging contest—Dad laughing as he blocked every slap.
“Go, Daddy! Go!” Rolling reared up to grab at Dad’s mane, his little hooves pulling hard enough to make Dad wince as we danced. Red was similarly trying to direct me, and soon both twins were giggling like loons under moon.
“Still not good enough, sport.” Dad grinned at me as he dodged and weaved. “Getting closer, though. How about a race home to see who has to do the dishes tonight?”
”You’re on!” Even as I tensed for take off, my wings continued their assault. “One. Two. Three—” Dad and I both backpedaled at the same time, crouching down and lifting our wings to leap into the air. “—Go!”
Red and Rolling shrieked as we rocketed through the sky; little hooves pulled at my mane so hard it brought tears to my eyes. They shouted for more, so Dad and I pushed on until our wings were whipping up winds that drowned out the twin’s laughter.
The few clouds in our way blasted apart as we charged right through them, barely slowing our acceleration as we continued straight towards the house. A single unlucky pegasus momentarily got in the way, but we managed to squeeze by with a pair of synchronous aileron rolls—the poor mare squawking as letters were shed by the turbulence of our wings.
The smell of Mom’s cooking hit us, and Dad and I roared as we kept trading the lead. Pineapple cricket kabobs and fresh wonderweevil bread would be even better with the sweet taste of victory.
Only a few hands away from the finish line, we both tucked our wings in and curled protectively around our giggling riders to let momentum do the rest.
Wump! Wump! Kaboom!
Thunder roared through the house as we collided with the wall, but it did not give as we poured everything we had into making the cloud catch us. The clatter of pots and pans failed to hide Mom yelling a word the twins were not meant to hear, and the house crackled and rumbled like an angry bear as our crash pushed it away from front porch below.
“Pretty sure we tied again.” I groaned as I sat up.
“Tied— my— tailhole.” Dad was panting as he laid on the floor. “Nightmother above. I’m getting old. I used to be able to sprint three times as long as that without breaking a sweat.”
“Wheee! That was fun! I’m gonna go tell Mommy!” Red nuzzled his way out of my hooves before bolting inside. “Last one in’s a rotten egg!~”
“Hey! No fair! Wait for me!” Rolling quickly followed while I stayed back to wait for Dad to catch his breath.
“Come on, Dad. Quit playing.” I nudged him after a solid minute of laying about. “You aren’t that old.”
“Euuuurgh… Now I know I’m old.” Dad rolled over with a moan. “I used to say that to my dad.”
“You still say that to your father, you lunkhead.” Mom trotted out of the house with a smile—the twins darting about her legs. “And he manages to beat you one round out of three on a regular basis. Age is no excuse.”
Leaning down to peck Dad on the cheek, Mom pulled him to his hooves. “I like you older, anyways. You’re more rugged and handsome now than you ever were back at the academy.”
“Oh, am I now?” Dad grinned. “I suppose I have gotten more scars.”
“More scars and then some.” Mom tittered as Dad wrapped his foreleg around her to trot inside together.
“Yeah, and then some.” I gagged as I followed with the twins. “I swear, you guys were never that mushy when I was five.”
“It gets your father up, doesn’t it?” Mom laughed as she headed off for the kitchen. “Besides, it’s not that mushy. The twins aren’t screaming about cooties are they?”
“Cooties?! Where?!” The terrible twosome dove for cover, burying themselves in the floor.
“Better dig them out before they burrow all the way through, eh, sport?” Dad was still grinning like a loon under moon as he slapped me on the back and sauntered after Mom. “I’m going to go see if your mother needs any help with getting more buns in the oven.”
“Ewwww….” I shook my head to quickly fell the demons Dad had conjured in my head. “How in Tartarus did they ever get away with that when I was foal? It’s like getting bucked in the face.”
“Huh?” Red poked his head out of the floor. “Daddy kicked you?! No wonder he’s so good at buckball!”
“Not as good as me! And I don’t kick ponies!” Rolling popped up next to him. “Kicking ponies is bad. Is Daddy in trouble, Night? Do you get to spank Daddy and tell him you’re the daddy now?”
Red thwapped his brother with his wing. “Why would she be the daddy when Mommy does all the scolding? She should say she wants to be the mommy now!”
I groaned and buried my head in the couch. “Sweet Nightmother above! It’s genetic, isn’t it?!”
The doorbell, thankfully, rang before I could start brooding over all the things I must have said back while I ardently defended the ickiness of cooties. I rolled to my hooves and cracked my spine as I put my glasses back on; by the time I reached the door to swing it open, my smile was back, and I was ready to resink my fangs into the best day ever.
“Hello?” I blinked at the sight of another thestral smirking at me from under a cloak.
Her wings were light and agile; her body was lithe and predatory. My first instinct was to step between her and the twins, but that was tossed out the window to burn in the thrice-cursed sun when she raised her shades to waggle her brows at me.
“Aunt Mercy!” I leapt forward to hug her as she spread one foreleg with a smirk. “You’re back! I was starting to think you were going to stay on tour forever! You should have told us you were stopping by on your way to Canterlot! We could have gotten something special!” I looked back to holler at the kitchen. “Dad! Dad! Aunt Mercy’s tour finally ended! Break out one of the bottles from Twilight!”
I snuggled into her chest with a squee. “It’s been, what? Four years?”
“Five.” Mercy chuckled as she looked up at me. “Your Mom had just had the twins, I think. How’s my little mausebär? Not so little so more, are you? Shite, I saw a few pictures, but if you grow anymore you might end up larger than Tempered!”
“Night, what’s a— a—” Red looked out the door, his face scrunching while Rolling hid behind him with one hoof wrapped around his brother’s tail. “—a shite?” He licked his lips as he said it.
“Fuck.” Both Aunt Mercy and I winced as the bad dad words were doubled.
“Okay?” Red tilted his head. “What’s a fuck? Can I eat it?”
“Ahhhhhh….”
“Ummmmm….”
“Is it like bucking? How do I do it?! Hey, Dad—”
“No!” I put my hoof in Red’s mouth. “I mean, yes! It’s uh, very much like bucking, but it can only be done by ponies with their fifth legs, so you shouldn’t ever worry about it until you grow yours.”
“I’m gonna grow a fifth leg?! When?!” Son of a sunwitch, Rolling! Don’t yell!
“When the cooties get you. That’s what happens when you get infected.” I nodded sagely as Red’s eyes widened, and he reared back to run inside.
“Cooties?! Ewww! No way! I wouldn’t want those for a bajillion legs!” The soft thwump of a door sounded as the twerps hid in their room, and I slumped with a sigh as Aunt Mercy snickered.
“So what, we’ve all got five legs now?”
“I panicked, okay?” I huffed as I let us in to shut the door.
“Oh? And—” She snerked. “And what are you going to do when they ask to see your fifth leg?”
“I’m going to tell them they can shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.” Flumping onto the couch, I rolled over to look at Aunt Mercy upside down.
“Really now?” Aunt Mercy raised a hoof to her mouth before throwing back her head and laughing. “Screeheeheeheehee! I would pay to see sweet, little Nightingale saying that.”
“You said it yourself.” I preened. “I’m not so little anymore.”
“You’re right.” Aunt Mercy licked her lips. “Maybe the next time your dad and I go bar crawling, I’ll see about letting you tag along.”
“Wait. What? Really?” I blinked and took a deep breath to stop myself from screeing like a filly. “I, uh… don’t quite know if Mom will like that.”
“Pffft! If Morning raises a fuss about you licking some salt at your age, then you can call her a hypocrite. She was like, only a year out of school when we met, but she still licked me right under the table. No pony handles their salt and cider like that unless they’ve had practice.”
“That’s… really weird to think about.” I chewed my lip as I laid back, kicking my legs in the air.
“She insisted on cutting back when you showed up—even after you were born.” Aunt Mercy shrugged as she stalked past the mantle, picking up one of the framed photos to look at it. “Sort of sucked all the fun out of hitting on your dad for a while, but eh. It’s not like I was expecting that to ever go anywhere with daydwellers being all clingy.”
“I happen to like just having one special somepony.” The corners of my mouth crept up. “I get to treat her like a princess.”
“Yeah, yeah, and you get to be her knight in shadowed armor.” Aunt Mercy rolled her eyes as she moved from one frame to the next. “Tempered said the same thing.” Her lips pursed as she stared at the image of Mom and Dad laughing as they tried to coax a little filly me down from the ceiling. “He’s said it several times, actually. Last time happened just after you were born when we both got smashed to celebrate.”
“That’s, uh, great.” I squirmed a bit from just how hungrily the photos were being eyed. “But you didn’t actually want him to say yes, did you? I mean, Dad tells me all sorts of stories when we go camping, and, uh… I’m not sure if you've ever had the same coltfriend twice.”
Aunt Mercy snorted. “Those weren’t coltfriends; they were eyecandy I kept around to pi— peeve off my old fart.”
“You’ve never actually had a coltfriend?” My legs paused mid-kick.
“Did I say I never had a coltfriend, squirt? Cause I’ve had plenty of coltfriends. I just have a hard time imagining Morning would approve of your dad telling you any of those stories. They usually wound up with at least one of us in hoofcuffs.”
“Say what?” I arched my brow.
“Nothing but a bunch of kiddie crimes, Night. Don’t worry.” Aunt Mercy waved me off with a smirk. “A few drunken brawls, a couple of indecent exposures, one case of accidentally buying smile dip.”
“Dad tried smile dip!” I reared back with a whinny. “That stuff literally rots your brain!”
“I didn’t say it was your dad who did that.” Plopping down into a chair, Aunt Mercy put her rear hooves up on the coffee table. “My coltfriend back then was an idiot. He thought smile dip was just a crazy new candy—called it the best sugar rush of his life.”
“Phew….” I let out the breath I’d been holding.
“No, your Dad was always smart about trying shite.” Aunt Mercy grinned as I fell off the couch. “He knew how not to get caught, and he knew how to find the best suppliers in town.”
“I also—” Dad growled as he and Mom stepped out of the kitchen. “—had the training to make sure nopony would get too messed up.”
Mom nodded. “Training you don’t have, dear, so don’t get any ideas.” With a snort, her smile turned to a scowl as she turned to Aunt Mercy. “Trying to corrupt my daughter like that. Honestly, Mercy. You’re lucky I love you so much. Anypony else would be flying for the hills.”
“All I’m doing is giving her the truth.” My aunt’s smirk was smugger than the slug that got away. “Hiding it won’t do her any good unless you want her to end up like me.”
“Oi.” Dad frowned. “I resent that. I’m nothing like Bitter Bite.”
“What kind of training makes it okay to take smile dip?” My head was spinning as I laid on the floor.
“Your mom and I didn’t always like the idea of just standing in front of doors. You know that.” Dad rumbled like a mountain about to avalanche. “And combat medics don’t get the same luxuries a normal doctor gets. Some of the more… high end training includes how to scavenge and mix zebra medicine that makes dealers drool like diamond dogs.”
“And?” I huffed. “How does that make taking things like smile dip okay?!”
Dad sighed. “It doesn’t—not really—but being able to mix medicine like that requires a lot of extra classes on how to properly use it. I was able to make sure all the stuff we tried wouldn’t kill us, that’s it. It was still stupid of us.”
“Stupid, but fun!” Aunt Mercy laughed. “Seriously, kid, your parents are right. I’m all for a little experimenting, but you have to know what you’re getting into.” She looked pointedly at Mom and Dad. “And part of that is being told what it’s like, mister and missus ‘let’s not tell her about the blood until she’s older.’”
“Okay, that one was a mistake. I admit that.” Dad chuckled even as he rubbed his temples. “I never should have listened to Morning on that one.”
“I can’t believe I never saw it.” I buried myself a little deeper in the floor at Mom’s giggle.
“As far as I’ve seen, Night, being dense is a time honored thestral tradition. You should be happy you ended up like your father and not just an idiot like Bitter Bite.”
“Oh, like pegasi tradition is so much better?” Aunt Mercy hid her smirk behind one hoof.
“You know what I mean.” Mom stuck out her tongue and ducked out from under Dad’s wing to head towards the kitchen. “Just give me a few minutes and we can talk over dinner, ok? The kabobs should be almost—” The beeper went off right on cue. “Ah! See? Just let me drizzle the icing on them, and they’ll be done.”
“Icing on a cricket kabob?” Aunt Mercy arched her brow at Dad. “Is that a daydweller thing?”
“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it. It’s good!” Dad waggled his brows most daddily. “You here for more than one night? I can see about cooking some slugs-in-rugs if you’re doing more than just passing through, but it sounded like you had planned on another tour in your last letter.”
“What?! Aunt Mercy!” I stopped lazing about and scrambled to my hooves. “Don’t tell me you’re heading out again! You promised me you’d take a few months off this time.”
“Plans change, kiddo.” Mercy ruffled my mane even as her smile fell. “Some plans just keep on changing…. As it turns out, I’m moving to Ponyville.”
“What?! Oh my gosh! Screeheeheeheehee!” I ran up to swing my Aunt in circles. “I don’t believe it. Really? Why?!”
“Oh, you know… reasons.” For the first time in my life, Aunt Mercy seemed small as she sighed. “I didn’t feel like trying my luck in Canterlot after daddy dearest finally disowned me.”
“He… did… what?”
I flinched as Dad hissed the last word, and looked over towards the hall to make sure the twins were still bunkered up in their anti-cootie fort.
“What the buck did you do, Mercy? After everything he put up with—”
“—it meant nothing compared to his one line in the sand.” Aunt Mercy barked out a bitter laugh. “He let all that slide because he thought we agreed on exactly one thing.”
“I’m not quite following.” Dad frowned as he moved closer to hug her.
“An heir, you lunkhead.” Aunt Mercy pushed herself away from Dad with a huff. “He wanted an heir, remember? That’s all he ever really wanted from me.” Horking up a huge wad of spit, she spat. “And when I went on tour five years ago, I was stuck in the middle of nowhere in a fort that only ever needed a single thestral platoon.”
“Oh geeze….” Dad grimiced. “I think I see where this is going.”
“There wasn’t another station for miles, Tempered!” Aunt Mercy stomped and thunder rumbled through the house. “And all my squad mates were mares! What was I supposed to do, play at being a nun?! Nopony can blame me for wanting to have a little fun!”
Dad winced and waved Mom back into the kitchen as she poked her head out, while I moved to make the twins door into a wall.
“No pony is blaming you for anything, Mercy, but I don’t really see the big deal. You’ve had fun in the sun before. As long as you kept using protection, I figured your Dad wouldn’t—”
“Checkmate was more than a bit of fun in the sun, you loon.” With a groan, Aunt Mercy slipped onto her haunches. “I don’t know when or where or how, but at some point we stopped screwing just to mess with our folks, and we started screwing just because we wanted to.”
Dad paused, his mouth opening and closing as he raised one hoof.
“He was tall and handsome and he could do basically anything with his horn.” A hiccup found its way out of Aunt Mercy’s hoof hidden face. “He got what it was like to have idiotic parents that wanted to keep the blood pure, and I guess that made me drop my guard more than I thought it would, because for some idiotic reason I said yes when he proposed.”
“Wha— Mercy that’s grea—” Dad shut his mouth as Aunt Mercy lowered her hooves to glower at him.
“I’m. Not. Finished.” Another hiccup ruined the growl she put to those words. “I said yes, right? Yay! Hooray! Big bang boom! I wouldn’t be here if that was the end of it. We were planning on taking another tour because we knew our parents were going to disown us.”
“Oh, no….” I ran up to hug her as the dots started to fall into place. Dad fidgeted like he wanted to join in, but he kept his distance, biting his lip instead and looking away.
“What got him?” The whisper was soft, but it filled the room like leaden weights.
“There was a feral dragon attack.” Aunt Mercy shrunk in on herself once more with a sigh. “I’d been feeling off for a few days, so the sunblasted thing landed a lucky shot with its tail…. The last thing I saw before blacking out was the claws coming down to pick me up.”
Pausing, she closed her eyes and bit her lip hard enough to draw blood. Dad and I held our breath, hardly daring to breathe, while Mom danced from one hoof to the other in the kitchen door.
“And the git had a talent for swapping spells.”
Mom and Dad winced so hard they could have gotten whiplash, and I would have joined them if I wasn’t busy keeping Aunt Mercy from collapsing.
“I got to wake up a few days later to find out what happened.” Half-sob, half-laugh, Aunt Mercy pushed herself away to climb back onto her hooves. “Worst and best day of my life! Turns out I was off my game because the bloody idiot left me something to remember him by!
“Discord damn me nine ways to Tartarus if I’m gonna give that up too!”
Staggering towards the door, Aunt Mercy bucked it off the hinges and leapt before we could think to stop her. As we all ran to the door, we breathed a sigh of relief to see her gliding down to the porch. Then, we paused as we noticed the rather large group of ponies gathered around our underporch. Aunt Mercy hissed something at them, and they all backed up to watch as she picked up a basket and flew back up with something closer to her signature smirk back on her face.
“So yeah…. All that crummy gunk aside, I’m here to stay in Ponyville.” As she held out the basket, we all got a good look at the little white filly with a horn.
Dad and Mom looked at each other for a moment; their faces rapidly shifted until Mom suddenly thwapped Dad and pointed between the foal and the underporch.
“Look, Mercy. We need to talk.” He heaved a mighty sigh as he rubbed his shoulder.
“You’re fukin’ right we need to talk.” Aunt Mercy poked Dad’s chest. “I’m not giving her up, but I’m out of my depth here, and you made a promise to me eighteen years ago when Night was born.”
Dad grimaced as if he’d been stabbed with a spear. “I meant we need to talk about—”
“Do you remember that promise, Tempered?” Lashes fluttered wildly as Aunt Mercy’s fangs gleamed in the dusk. “Cause I do.”
“Yes, Tempered.” Mom came from behind for the pincer attack. “Tell us all about this promise you apparently never mentioned.”
“I— Eeee— Uhhhh—” Sweating more than a few bullets, Dad looked at me.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Shaking my head, I snorted. “You know I can’t beat Mom on a good day. If you did what I think you did, we won’t stand a chance.”
“Eerff….” Dad rubbed his chest. “I may have some vague memories of it, yes, but you can’t really expect me to—”
“Great!” Aunt Mercy slithered forward to plant the basket in Dad’s hooves. “Say hello to your new daddy, Daisy! You’re going to be seeing a lot of him from now on!”
“Daisy?” It was Dad’s turn to fall back on his haunches—his face scrunching in a million directions as he held the softly snoring basket. The filly sneezed, making Aunt Mercy grin like a shark; when she started running in her sleep, I knew Dad was as good as gone.
“Daisy.” Aunt Mercy nodded. “It’s short for Pushing Daisies. I thought it would be best if I named her after her fathers.”
I shoved my plate down harder than I probably should have as I set it on the counter for Dad to wash. The two little plates for the twerps rattled in the silence that followed, Dad frowning at his reflection as he washed his current glass.
“Honestly? I can’t remember, sport, and I don’t really think that matters.”
“Of course it matters!” I huffed. “It mattered enough that you sent me off to feed the twins while you three talked like adults!”
“First, we are adults, Night.” Dad sighed, placing the glass back in the clouds to soak as he picked another dish at random. “And second, whatever I actually said, and whatever your aunt thinks I said, none of it is really the point. Right now, she needs our help.”
“Then why didn’t you let me help?” I kicked the cloud beneath me. “I could have come up with something….”
“Well, if you’ve thought of something, you should let me know; we weren’t talking about how to help your aunt tonight, though….”
“You weren’t?”
“No.” Dad shook his head. “Tonight was about shaping the clouds and setting the ground rules. I don’t care how bad things are for her, it was a low blow to pull something like this on us. Your mother and I had to remind her just how these things are supposed to work; if Mercy is actually serious this time, she needs to prove it by not throwing every sun-blasted tradition to the wind.”
“So you didn’t just tell her no.” I scowled.
“Did you want me to tell her no?” Dad arched his brow as he flipped a plate over to examine the back.
“Yes— No— I don’t know!” Crossing my forehooves, I settled to my haunches. “Are you actually thinking of saying yes?”
“Tradition dictates that’s more up to your mother than it is to me.” There was a clatter as Dad set one plate down for the next. “And I have no plans in the slightest to push your mother into agreeing to do something she doesn’t want. Unless your aunt manages to pull a miracle out of her ass, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Okay, but why even bother letting her think she has a chance then?”
“I said she has a chance, sport. It’s just not very likely.” Setting his current dish down unfinished, Dad turned to put a hoof on my shoulder. “Whatever actually comes of this, your aunt is as good as kin. She’s family, and she just got kicked out of one clan, so I don’t want her even thinking we might make it two, got it?”
“Yes, sir….” Hip checking him, I joined in on the work. “A tie’s a tie, though, so move over.”
The chink and tink of glasses and china gave me a moment to breathe and collect my thoughts. “So…” I hrmmed as I violently scrubbed a bit of my glass. The stuff just. Would. Not. Get. Out. “…we aren’t gonna have to move downtown, are we?”
“What?” Dad blinked before waving and rolling his eyes. “Nah. I’m just going to ask the princess to recommend somepony to enchant the house with a permanent cloud walking spell. If we’re lucky, she won’t insist on doing it for free herself.”
I arched my brow at Dad and he laughed.
“Okay, maybe I’m hoping she’ll do it for a friend for free, but only if she offers to. I’m not going to ask the bloody princess to do work for us.” He shook his head, still chuckling. “Mercy should be able to handle constructing a few extra rooms herself, so that’s taken care of too. She said she’d stop by tomorrow and do that while you were at school before looking around town to see if she could get a job.”
“She’s— She’s not joining the Dawn Guard?” My glass dropped out of my hooves to drop onto the floor with a fwump.
“No….” Dad looked down with a grimace. “I offered to put a word in for her with the princess, but she turned it down.”
“That’s…” My mouth opened and closed a few times. “She really needs help, Dad.”
“I know.”
“She refused that too, didn’t she?”
“She did. We’re everything she’s got right now, sport.”
“Sweet Nightmother above.” I fell back on my haunches. “Are you going to send a letter to Princess Luna?”
“Was planning on using Spike for that tomorrow.” Dad took a step back from the sink to stretch out. “Don’t hold your breath, though. Your aunt might be stubborn enough to turn her down too.”
“Discord damn it all.” Shaking my head, I grabbed the fallen glass to start cleaning again.
“I do have some good news for you, though.” Dad moved over to the counter and picked up a thick stack of letters. “Your applications all came back today.”
“They did?” My ears perked, and I set my glass down to go take the mail from Dad. Snatching the letters, I started leafing through them to find almost every unit I had wanted had written back. “This is a lot more than I was expecting. I figured they’d all trickle in.”
“Units usually notice when ponies start applying to multiple places.” Dad chuckled. “It means you’re serious about it as a career.”
“Dad, I didn’t even apply to some of these places! Where the hay is Equuicigalpa?!”
“It’s a small desert colony off in the west.” Taking that letter from me, Dad opened it and began to read, whistling as he did so. “You must have really impressed them to get an invite. This isn’t the sort of unit you can apply to normally.” Shaking his head, he set it on the counter. “It's a shame it's so far away. You’d have to miss a day or two of school just to fly out there.”
“Oh my gosh, Dad! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad! Loooooook!” I shoved an old and ragged parchment in his face. “I got accepted to Hollow Shades! I never expected them to actually say yes!”
“I, uh, really didn’t expect that either.” Dad’s brow furrowed. “They usually only let the natives shadow rangers at your age; that’s not the kind of opportunity you should ever pass up.”
“Hollow Shades is so far away, though.” I had to shake my head to keep from letting the giggles consume me. “I’d probably miss school if I chose them, too.”
“Night, listen to me.” Putting his hoof on my shoulder, Dad pulled me into a hug. “Your uncle had to go through years of service to earn a chance at being a Hollow Shades’ ranger. If you want to pick them, then I’ll fight your mother fang and hoof to let you go, okay? I mean, it’ll just be for one weekend, right?”
“I, uh… might want to see Equuicigalpa too.” I blushed and rubbed the back of my head. “You said it’s a small desert colony, right? I’m kind of curious why they invited me.”
“We’ll see.” With a squeak, Dad swept me from hug to headlock, then noogied me mercilessly. “Just make sure you pick some places closer to home too or your mother will murder me, okay? How many letters like that did you get?”
“Uh….” Brains don’t work well when being noogied. “Four or five?”
“Geeze, sport. I guess you just marked yourself as the go-to cadet to have or something. Your mother and I certainly didn’t ever get invites like that. Not at your age, at least. Maybe Princess Luna’s been stirring the pot for you.”
“Sweet Nightmother, I hope not.” I groaned. “I told her I didn’t want her to single me out.”
“Pfffft! You did that yourself, Night.” Dad’s laugh rumbled like thunder as he slapped me on the back. “All Princess Luna would need is to poke at a few old rivalries to get them fighting over you like packs of timberwolves.”
“I still told her I didn’t want help.” I grumbled, setting the mail back on the counter to resume dishes.
“I’ll ask her about it when I tell her about Mercy tomorrow.” Dad snerked as he picked his own plate back up. “But you only have yourself to blame if she did.”
“What? Why?! How’s this my fault?”
“Who’s the little filly who had the balls to steal not just one but two princesses hearts?” Waggling his brow extra daddily, Dad ducked under my wing as I tried to thwap him.
“Hey!” I rustled my wings while wondering if Dad’s smirk deserved another swing. “If you’re gonna be like that, then how do we know it’s not your fault? You’re the one she was over the moon for!”
“Aye? But I told her no, and she set her sights on spoiling you.” Dad stuck his tongue out at me.
“See, though! That’s exactly why it’s your fault, so there.” I thwapped him again. “The mare is always right.”
“Hah! I’ll remember that the next time you gripe about something Diamond said.” With all the dishes finally clean and soaking in the sink, a quick buck from Dad to the counter shifted the clouds into a washer for one final rinse before the convection vents dried them. “Using your mother’s witchery on me.”
“It’s not witchery; it’s wisdom.” A blast of wind from the convection vents dried my hooves. “Now, if you need me, I’ll be in my room.”
“Roger that.” Dad gave a lazy salute as I picked up my mail and trotted towards the hall. “Your aunt might still be talking with Morning on the porch if you’d like to say good night to her.”
Tempting—so very tempting—but maybe Dad and Mom were right to have me watch the twins over dinner. I wanted to say more than just goodnight, and today was still so fresh.
Shaking my head, I turned right instead of left, the door to my room clicking shut behind me.
“Okay. Let’s see.” I flipped through the applications to get a few must have picks. “Mom and Dad will be sad if I don’t shadow Canterlot, and I got a ‘yes,’ from both Topside and the Undercity. No invite from the Lunar Royal Guard.”
Thank the stars for that, at least.
Tossing the two automatic yes’s onto my bed, I set the rest on my desk and flopped down into my seat. The flickering flame of candlelight soon sent the scent of cinnamon and cloves through the room, and I nibbled on a few cookies from my secret stash as I looked through replies that remained.
“Everfree Rangers? Yes; that can be my backup if Hollow Shades goes south. Yakyakistan border? No; too much cold, too much hair, and way too many echoes. Manehattan is totally a ‘yes.’” I squeed. “So much crime and villainy compared to everywhere else, and it’s close enough I won’t miss school!”
Two more joined the pile on my bed and I spun in my seat a few times only to kick a hoof out and stop as I caught one particular yes.
“Cloudsdale.” Licking my lips, I grinned. “Okay, gotta go to that one, if only to see a bunch of old feather dusters squawking over a thestral being there.”
That made five—seven if I counted the two Dad needed to talk to Mom about.
Boonhocks and the Dröhnen mountains sounded nice if only for the sight seeing. They weren’t exactly hotspots of action, but it’d be nice to see a little of them while I had the excuse to.
Nine. Nine with some time to figure out the rest or to just pick one and train. That seemed good enough for now, so…
Squinting at the door, I cocked one ear to make sure nopony was near. A look at the clock said I had two hours until curfew. Diamond had hers in an hour.
Would it be worth it?
Yeah. Yeah, it would.
I’d have to take precautions to avoid Dad teasing the guano out of me, but I could swoop in and out without anypony noticing me. Just stick some extra cloud here; put my blankets and pillow there; flip the ‘Do not disturb,’ sign on my door around, and I was good to go.
With one last look at my door, I sidled up against my wall and pushed my way through without making a sound. My eyes scanned the town below as I remained pressed into the outside of the house—nopony noticed me.
“Leave no witnesses, and Dad will never find out.” I took a deep breath. “It’s not even sneaking out. It’s… covert mission training.”
Dropping like a rock, I slipped through the shadowlands to appear in an alley below. My momentum from the drop turned into a canter for even more cover. The parked wagon beside the alley entrance was much better for hiding from prying eyes above; I slid like a pro into the shadow beneath it to peek out and make sure the coast was clear.
From there, I just had to jump carefully from shadow to shadow, moving down the street until my house was out of sight. I finally made it far enough to climb out and just walk the rest of the way to Diamond’s. Upon arrival, I did things the earth pony way by flicking rocks at her window and hoping it didn’t break.
“Night! What are you doing?!” The window opened on the fifth try as a frowning Diamond poked her head out.
“Being romantic.” I grinned up at her. “Why? Would you rather I just fly up and knock?”
“I’d rather you use the doorbell.” Diamond huffed and stuck her snout up to try and hide her smile.
“What doorbell?” I giggled and moved to bite into the ivy draping down her manor’s wall and start climbing. “All I see is a lonesome tower holding my princess captive.”
“You’re such a dork.” Diamond stuck her tongue out at me before pulling back inside to grab one of the bags of snacks she always stashed for me. “Stop messing around and fly up here before you fall again.”
Pelted with chocolate-covered crickets, my resolve only grew, and I waggled my brow at her as I continued ascending. “Earf mony may.” I briefly spat out the ivy to snatch up a snack. “Would you rather I sneak in to watch you sleep at night before offering to drink your blood?”
“Pffffft!” Diamond blushed as she started choking on air. “I thought we agreed to never bring up those books again!”
“Did we?” I heaved myself up the rest of the way to boop her snoot with mine. “All I remember is you blushing black enough to burn them.”
“What do you want, Night?” Diamond leaned out to pull me in and nipped my ear hard as she did so. “I swear, if you came all the way here just to tease me.”
“What can I say? I’m love-sick, and you’re the cure.” I grinned at her and swooped in for another peck. “Now, tell me about your day before I get thirsty.”
Diamond squinted at me before shrugging and moving to her bed to hop up. “Well, my day was about as boring as usual.” She patted some space beside her and I joined. “I’m guessing yours wasn’t.”
“My aunt showed up and decided to move in without any warning.” My wing curled around her, and I hummed. “Don’t really feel like talking about that now, though. It’s kind of a mess.” I smiled as Diamond nuzzled me. “Mmmmm…. I got a bunch of my unit applications back, too. Started picking places to go shadow ponies and figure out where I want to go after I get out of school.”
The nuzzling paused. “I thought you wanted a spot in Canterlot?”
“Most ponies have to earn a spot on the Royal Guard, Diamond, and I don’t know if I’d like the regular Canterlot gig.” I giggled. “They kind of have a rep for being pansies. Cushy city life and snobby nobles don’t normally offer that many interesting chances to prove yourself.”
“And the Royal Guard is any different?”
“Royal Guard all get in on recommendation.” I shrugged. “They earn the right to have that cushy job sitting in front of doors, and they train hard for all sorts of things the Princesses might need them to do. I don’t want Princess Luna playing favorites to get me in, so Canterlot’s probably the last place I want.”
“Oh….” Diamond squirmed beside me. “Well, good for you! I take it they all said yes?”
“Most of them.” I nodded. “I already have some plans on just where I want to look.”
“That’s great!”
“Yeah, it is.” I smiled down and sneaked in for another nuzzle, but a knock on the door made me freeze up before it could go farther.
“Mistress Diamond? Are you decent? Your father asked that I bring you some cookies and warm milk before bed.”
“Uhhhh….” Diamond frantically glanced around her room. “Give me a second, Randolph! I’m just taking care of some dirty laundry!”
Shoved off the bed and into a nearby pile of perfumed dresses, hats, and garters, I had to fight not to set Diamond’s room on fire as my neck blazed with the heat of a thousand stars. The scent tickled my nose, and my face caved in in an effort to avoid giving myself away.
“Terribly sorry, miss. I could have sworn I cleaned your laundry this morning. Let me just—”
The door opened.
I sneezed.
Clothes flew everywhere.
When the dust settled, Randolph set his silver tray on his back to carefully lift an extra lacy stocking off his snout. Eyebrows were arched. Faces burned black. I sneezed again, and one of the matching undergarments flew from my face to his—hind garter still attached as it flopped over his face.
“For the last time, Miss Nightingale.” There was a deep breath from Randolph even as Diamond and I squirmed. “You do not need to hide here on your nightly sojourns. Master Rich can feel it when you start climbing the walls. This is his land.”
“Yes, well, do be careful not to get too romantic. Master Rich is perfectly capable of feeling even the slightest bounce of a bed.”
“Screep!”
“Would you care for anything else, Mistress Diamond?” The tray was set down on her night stand and the cover lifted to reveal a plate of chocolate chip cookies and two mugs of milk.
“No— No, thank you, Randolph.” Diamond finally managed to look up from her pillow to smile. “We should be good.”
When the door closed, I slumped onto the floor, burying my head in my hooves with an extra squeaky groan. “Bloody Tartarus, Diamond. Do they do that just to scare the guano out of me?”
“Maybe.” My fillyfriend tittered as she got up to pick up all her dresses and hats and things-I-shall-not-name. “Don’t get your tail in a knot over it. Daddy wouldn’t let you sneak in if he didn’t trust you.”
“I know. I know.” I sighed. “And I suppose it’s better than Dad’s endless eyebrow waggling.”
“I like your dad’s eyebrows.” Diamond waggled her own with a smirk. “You’d probably faint at the thought of kissing me still if they had furrowed like my dad’s do.”
“No, I’d be worse.” I laughed and sipped at my milk as Diamond sashayed about. “Your dad barely has it in him to scowl. My dad scowls and I keep myself to a five yard perimeter around you.”
Diamond paused mid-step. “You act like it’s gonna pop off and attack you.”
I shrugged and took just one cookie before trotting up to nuzzle Diamond goodbye. “Speaking of my parents, though, I should go before they notice I’m gone. Sweet dreams, alright? I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to, do you?” She purred as I nipped her ear. “One of these days, I’ll convince you to stay.”
“One of these days, I might let you.”
I pulled back to grin and waggle my brows just like Dad. It got one last giggle out of her and I smirked off a salute as I jumped out the window to glide down and start slinking towards home.
“Now all I gotta do is sneak back in, and I’m good.” Taking a deep breath of moon-kissed air, I let it out with a dopey smile.
“You know, to sneak back in you have to sneak out first.”
My blood ran cold as Dad’s laugh rained down like an avalanche of ice. “How—”
“So Diamond likes my eyebrows, does she?” The waggling cometh.
It was like watching a train wreck and knowing I was only about to make things worse; there was pain, misery, agony, and fury before me as I walked towards the club sign up sheet. I couldn’t keep my wince on the inside, my facade cracking with every step.
“Hoofball!”
“Buckball!”
“Hoofball!”
“Buckball!”
“Pawpass!”
“Don’t bring your filthy abyssian copycat sports into this! Why would she do pawpass but not hoofball!”
“Guys, chill!” Scoots’ feathers bristled from where she was standing with the rest of the wrestling team. “Bucking seriously? She’s right here, and you’re acting like morons.”
No pony noticed me squirm, or—if they did—they didn’t act like it. I had to do this now before I lost my cool. Wrestling manticores? Easy. Disappointing all the ponies relying on me? I’d rather eat poison joke.
“Hey.” Diamond leaned into me, tail entwining in mine. “I know that look. Don’t you bucking dare back down now. You need this. They need this. Everypony is gonna come out better if you go through with it.”
“But, Diamond—” I bit my lip. “—just look at them. They need me.”
“No, they only think they need you.” My marefriend gave me The Look as she tsked. “If anypony needs you it’s me, but you don’t see me fighting over you like a buffoon! It’s not healthy for them, and you know it. Besides, the point of joining a club is to have fun!”
“Hey, I had fun!” My wing rustled as I pulled her closer.
“Keyword is had, buster.” She jabbed me with a hoof, and I winced once more. “When was the last time you played a sport for fun?”
“Uhhhhh…” My eyes passed from one team of jocks to another. “I don’t remember. Sometime last year? There were so many sports.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
My ears flattened as I was jabbed again. “Two years ago when I got that lucky touchdown in the hoofball finals. It was kinda hard to have fun after they passed over First Down to make me captain…. That entire play was his idea, and they just—” I took a deep breath, hissing in Diamond’s ear as I hid my shudder by nuzzling her. “Nightmother above, I hate being popular, Diamond. Just listen to them! They act like I’m all that, but we barely made it to playoffs last year!”
A couple ponies were looking our way now as I clutched Diamond, but most of them just kept on squawking like a bunch of squabbling peacocks—all bluster and color and talk.
“I know you do.” Diamond’s nuzzles were soft and warm; her ire was fuel for the fire, and I bit my lip as she snuggled into the crook of my neck extra scandalously. “That’s why this has to stop. I barely got to see you last year, and for what? A couple of playoff games that went nowhere? You work yourself to the bone enough as it is. If they can’t understand that, they don’t bucking deserve your help to begin with.”
“Diamond…” I sighed.
“What? Don’t tell me I’m wrong?” Sweet Nightmother, the only thing worse than The Look was her pout.
“No, you’re right.” I quickly looked away as I bit my lip. “Let’s just get this over with.”
The fighting continued as I stepped forward and picked up a pen in my mouth. Then it paused as I passed over the majority of sheets to sign my name on two that were definitely not going to have me bring the school any glory or fame. I blushed as the murmurs turned to silence as I passed the pen to Diamond, my fidgeting intensifying as she hrmmmed and hawwed and took her sweet time.
“Diamond.”
“What?” She giggled, finally swooping in to claim her usual spot on the chess and debate teams. “Can’t you just savor the moment?”
“Not with the bloodlust behind us.” The murmurs were back and pounding in my ears as we retreated.
“Swimming? Swimming?! No pony cares about the bucking swim team!”
“She didn’t even sign up for the actual team! She joined the club! The club!”
“Maybe that’s a good thing….”
“The hay, dude?! It’s nothing but a waste!”
“Uh, guys? We got more than that to worry about. Look at the other club she signed up for.”
“She joined the fucking nerd herd?!”
Fewmets. I flinched as the shout echoed out and down the halls for everypony to hear. My ears flattened and my head slumped as we rounded the corner, and I leaned into Diamond with a whimper. Even as she leaned back, she turned to glare over her shoulder with a huff. I let her pull me into the nearest fillies’ room, and we stopped there for a moment.
Holding each other.
Nuzzling.
“You’re absolutely batty, you know that?” Diamond smirked, and my stomach fluttered in a completely different direction. “Now stop being an idiot, and don’t listen to them if it’s going to upset you. You hear me?”
“Yes, princess. I hear you.” Idiot that I was, I couldn’t hold back the sniffles as I smiled.
“And none of that, either.” Diamond paused her snuggles to slug me. “Not unless you want me to go out there and send them crying home like five year olds.”
“I don’t think I need you to go all ice queen just yet.” I pulled her closer just in case.
“Are you sure?” Diamond giggled as she rested her head in the crook of my neck. “Cause I’d go straight past ice queen to alpha bitch, just for you.”
“Pfffft!” I snorted, finally pulling back to get my mane and coat in order. “Really? I thought I was the alpha here.”
“In your dreams, maybe.” Sticking her tongue out, Diamond pranced away to do likewise—a miracle assortment of cosmetics and make up flying from her saddlebags as she promptly took over the mirror.
What took me a minute at most took her… longer. And really, it was more like half a minute on my part. The other half was just cloud trimmings so Diamond wouldn’t think I was skimping.
“You ready yet?” I walked up next to her and squinted at the mirror.
“Almost. These things take time, noble knight.”
“If you want me to walk you home, we gotta head out soon. I’m supposed to pick the twins up today.”
“And we will. When I’m done.” Her brush work was light, gentle, and as slow as the Pink One’s molasses.
I squinted harder. “You’ve put your blush on exactly like that three times now.”
“Have I? You should know it’s been just a shade off each time by now.”
Rolling my eyes, I booped her snoot with my hoof.
“Hey! Niiiiiiight! Stop! Now I’ve got to start all over again!”
“Do you?” I managed a grin. “You’re just as beautiful as you always are. Why tempt fate into ruining perfection?”
Diamond’s eyes narrowed as she gave an imperious sniff. “Fine, we’ll go, but only if I get a minute to fix your mane.”
Discord damn it. She was on to me. “Fine….” I sighed even as I smiled. “And thanks.”
With head held high, I ventured forth and onto the battlefield the following morn. “It’s just another day.” I avoided the glares and focused on the smiles and waves. “It’s just another day. Don’t feed the fire—“ A deep breath. “—just let the embers smolder out.”
I was the first to the usual tree today, so I sat back, relaxed as best I could, and pulled out the fancy rulebook Button Mash had given me for my birthday over the summer. Flipping past the basics, I browsed through the various armies with a furrowed brow.
“Hey, Night! You ready for later today?”
“As I can be.” I glanced up to see Sweetie approaching with her maybe-sort-of-coltfriend. “The far off, wartorn future is an incredibly grimdark and overly complicated place. How did the makers even come up with half of these rules and armies?”
Button shrugged. “Griffish games are like that. Don’t tell me it’s too much for you?”
“Hay, no.” I snorted. “But I’m surprised there’s enough daydwellers into it that you can regularly run it in games club.”
“Hey! Unlike the sports teams, we don’t need to keep things small.” Button puffed out his chest. “The jockheads might mock us, but the games club is the largest club in school right now! We’ve got all kinds of stuff for all kinds of players!”
“Well, ready or not, I’m looking forward to it.” I chuckled while glancing over the rules for changeling swarms. “I, uh… am probably gonna need some help, though. There’s a lot to keep track of.”
“Pffft! It’s not that much compared to some other games.” Button waves his hoof. “All you really need to play is to know the core rules and the stuff for your own army. Getting the other armies just takes time, practice, and a few times crushing them under the iron hoof of your commander.”
“Well, I bet my iron hoof will be more than enough.” With a smirk, I flexed a forehoof and waggled my brows hard enough to make Dad sneeze wherever he was—hopefully with witnesses and cameras.
Button rolled his eyes even as Sweetie giggled. About par for the course.
“Oh, I can’t wait to see you face off against Calculated. I might even sell tickets.”
“Probably wouldn’t sell well with me being a rookie.” Grinning like a loon under moon, I cackled and did a little dance. “Screeheeheehaaheehee! It’s gonna be so great clawing my way up something again.”
“Just remember to have fun this time.” Button smirked. “You even try to turn my club into a chore and I’ll kick your ass nine ways to Tartarus.”
“Hah! I might just let you if it comes to that.” Glancing at the clocktower in the distance, I looked around to see if I could spot Diamond or the others.
“Hey… uh… Night?”
“Hey, First Down.” My ears fought not to wilt as I turned and smiled at big, bulky earth pony hesitantly lumbering closer. “What’s goin’ on?”
“Nothing much.” He shuffled on his hooves, looking back at the rest of the varsity team as they glared. “I just wanted to… umm…” He sighed. “The team wants to know why you’re dumping them, and I don’t know what to say. Like, I get it. At least, I think I do, but you know what they’re like.”
“Yeah, I do.” With a sigh, I kicked the ground. “I’m sorry, alright? But I can’t. I just can’t. It isn’t fun anymore.” I tried to muster a cocky grin. “You’ll do a better job than I did, anyways.”
“Discord damn it, Night.” First shook his head. “You do know that’s a load of bull, right? We’re not idiots. Everypony knew you were asking me for advice. They didn’t pick you as captain for being the better player!” He sighed, looking back at the still glaring team. “What’s done is done, though. You think you have it in you to help out if we’re really in a pinch?”
“I… don’t know.” I looked away from him. “Ask me later, after we’ve all had time to get used to this.”
“That’s not what they’re gonna want to hear.” Rubbing his temple, First tsked. “But whatever, I told them that’d be your answer. Let me know if they give you any trouble, alright? And please, for the love of Celestia, try not to go full guard on them if they pick a fight. A few of them got it in their heads that you’ve gone soft.”
“No promises.” My coat bristled as I growled and decided to glare back at the team for once. “I don’t start fights if I can avoid it, but I sure as hay always finish them.”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of.” With a chuckle, First shook his head and sighed. “See ya later, I guess. If you ever just wanna play for fun, though, let me know. My dad runs scrimmages just about every weekend in the park.” He held out his hoof for a hoofbump and managed a cocky grin.
“I’ll think I’ll take you up on that.” I bumped his hoof with a smile. “Give me a few weeks and I’ll even get my folks in on it.”
“Hah! That’d be great! My dad always says it’s a shame the Living Wall joined the guard instead of going pro.” First waved as he walked back towards the others. “See ya!”
“See you.” I waved back and nodded, my gaze already roaming the school grounds now as I mulled over our little talk.
“Oh, Niiii-iiiight!~” A pair of soft, hooficured hooves wrapped around me as I felt the familiar coolness of Diamond’s Tiara settle on my head. “Whatcha doing? I thought we agreed you weren’t gonna listen to those numbskulls anymore?”
“Down, girl.” I giggled and turned my head to snag a peck on the lips. “That was just First Down. He’s cool with me leaving even if the rest of the guano guzzlers aren’t.”
“Then what was he doing here?~” The hooves around my neck clutched a little tighter.
“Inviting me to his Dad’s weekly scrimmage so I could have some actual fun, and making sure the rest of the team didn’t jump me by coming himself.” Shaking Diamond off, I booped her nose and waggled my brow. “Why? You jealous? I’m not gonna go back, princess. I promised.”
Diamond tittered as she pulled back to settle in the shade next to Silver and Sweetie. “Oh, really? I don’t know. Sounds like I should be worried. Worried you made a date.” The titters erupted into laughter as I blushed and stammered.
“Screep! I-I would never!”
“Never, huh?” Diamond lidded her eyes. “I certainly remember a couple accidental mishaps over the years. Remember Truffle Shuffle?”
“Truffle hoofmakes chocolates for everypony on Hearts and Hooves! How was I supposed to know they weren’t just more obligatory chocolates?!”
“It’s easy.” Silver smirked as she adjusted her glasses. “What did he give everypony else?”
With a snort, I puffed out my chest. “I don’t see what that has to do with—”
“Bars, Night. He gave us all bars of milk chocolate. Boring, rectangular bars of normal not-truffle chocolate. What did he give you?”
I squirmed. “A box of dark chocolate truffles with a mango caterpillar center?”
“A heart-shaped box.” Silver lowered her glasses a touch to better glare at me, the hungry light of the sun catching on them not even half as intense as her dead fish eyes staring into my soul. “It was simple geometry, Night.”
“Mrgmfff!” I kept wriggling like a green-faced, cowardly maggot as the girls giggled at my expense.
“Aww, come here, Night.” Diamond patted the ground next to her. “We’re just teasing, jeeze. I know my knight in shadowed armor wouldn’t ever even think of looking at ponies other than me.” Then she kept going. “I mean, I’m the closest you’ll ever get to the sun anyway.”
I blushed blacker, but started to join my friends nonetheless.
“So.” Sweetie was still fighting to stop giggling as she looked over the school grounds to where Button was currently chatting with the thinnest, most acne-ridden unicorn I had ever seen. “You really think you can manage that game of Button’s, Night? That book looks thicker than the one he made me go through when he insisted on getting me in his Ogres and Oubliettes group.”
“Eh?” I shrugged. “It’s pretty precise as far as manuals go when it comes to the actual rules. The fluff to a lot of the stuff isn’t quite… accurate, though. I’ll be fine as long as I have the book on me. How’s things going with you two, anyways?”
“Great, actually.” Sweetie beamed so bright I swore little heart shaped sparkles were glimmering in her eyes. “We finally ended that campaign with Lady Dawnstar and Sir Valor Heart the Third!”
“He end up marrying you again?” I couldn’t help snickering. I tried; really, I did, but it was just so…
“Yeah….” Sweetie grinned goofily. “That’s three generations of Valor Hearts in the bag! Next time we’re thinking of switching it up a bit, though. He wants to build a grand magus out of a wizard who’s got a focused specialization in illusion and a beguiller, so I’m gonna play Valor Heart the Fourth!”
“Isn’t that gonna be weird, though?” I tilted my head to the side. “Three generations of firstborn sons being named the same I get, but why name a daughter Valor Heart the Fourth?”
“I don’t think she plans on playing a filly, Night.” Diamond grinned as her tail entwined itself in mine. “Fillies do crazy things when in love with oblivious ponies.”
“You would certainly know.” Silver snorted. “Seriously, though, Sweetie. Stop playing coy and just tell him you want more than a few quick dates at the Burger Princess every month.”
“I can’t do that!” Sweetie reared her head back. “You’ve seen how awkward he is even at something as simple as the school dance! No, no… I’m fine with keeping the romance all make believe. Besides—” Her cheeks burned black as it was her turn to squirm. “—you guys don’t ever get to see how into it he gets on game night. When he gets in character, it’s just… magical…. It’s like I’m living a fairy tale.”
“A fairy tale written by his mom.” Silver deadpanned just as the bell rang.
A high-pitched squeak was all we got back as Sweetie managed to pull her sister’s couch from somewhere and faint. Diamond and I looked between the couch and Silver for a few moments as we giggled before quickly booping our snoots with one hoof.
“Not it!” We chorused as Silver rolled her eyes and easily lifted the couch and its occupant on her back, steadily trotting into the school without a backward glance.
“I wanna seduce the diamond dog!” The earth pony struck the most insubordinate pose as he stomped one foreleg on the table and screamed to the heavens.
And no pony turned to look at him but me.
The cafeteria was packed to the brim with ponies, all surrounding tables buried in boxes and maps and dice. Some were dressed in costumes and shouting, while others flaunted their pocket protectors with pride. Glasses, acne, and nerdiness abounded, yet I spied more normal classmates here and there.
The arcade machines lining the wall seemed particularly popular, although the corner in the back was full of ponies playing the games I was used to like Risk and Monopoly; at least, judging by the shouts of seething rage. The corner opposite them had a quiet, dedicated group of ponies playing chess, and the three of those combined helped calm my instinct to run.
“Awwwww, yeah! Nat twenty! Who’s your daddy!?”
My ears—already folded back from the din of the packed cafeteria—clamped further down at the shout of the earth pony from before—the one playing that weird adventure game with a rolled out mat and dice. The unicorn at the end of the table groused beneath his pointy hat, and began looking through his mountain of books with a scowl.
“Roll with disadvantage.”
“What? Why?!” The earth pony’s hoof made the table shudder.
“You’re half-cat.”
“I’m a griffon!”
“You’re half-lion, then. Roll with disadvantage.”
I stared as the earth pony grumbled and rolled one of the many misshapen abominations he called dice. It tumbled over the table and stopped before the unicorn; my hair prickled with the malice he exuded as he glanced down.
“No….” The earth pony paled.
“Yes.” The unicorn slid the die over to reveal a teeny-tiny one. “Critical fumble, lover boy. The diamond dog leader gleefully agrees to your proposal and slips a collar on you just like he has the rest of your captured party. While they’re led deeper into the mines, you’re taken to the leader’s personal den and bound in tight leather restraints for later.”
The players all groaned and planted their faces into the table, looking from one to another in silent communication. After a moment, the earth pony sighed and threw up his hooves.
“Alright, alright! I get it! I’ll stop being that guy and stick to interpretive dance!”
“Pfffffft! Bards, am I right?” With a guano guzzling grin, Button clapped me on the back with enough oomph to have me jump over the moon. “Come on! All the war hawks are back the other way. How the hay did you get over here?!”
“It’s loud!” I hollered back, my hoof rising up to my sunglasses to push them a little tighter as some arcade game over by the wall exploded with bleeps and bloops and lasers of all kinds while a pair of pegasi danced like their life depended on it. “Loud, noisy, and flashy!”
“And what? You got distracted?”
“No, I got lost! Sweet Nightmother, this is worse than the time Red got in Dad’s flash stone stash. Screep!” My wings rustled as Button grabbed me and dragged me off into the sea of students.
“Hah, really?! Think of it as training then! You’ll get used to it!” Button slapped me on the back as we reached a series of tables stacked high with various model ruins and terrain. “Behold! Your newest battlefields!” He puffed out his chest as I leaned in to marvel at the level of detail in the maps, each easily real enough for me to imagine flying above as I ordered my troops to glory. “Calculated and I spent a good… thousand bits between the two of us for all these?”
“You what?!” I stumbled and choked a bit, thankfully not into the maps. “Button! Where did you even— I don’t have that kind of money!”
With a laugh, Button pounded my back hard enough to remind me even the weakest earth ponies could get carried away when excited. “I know, right?! Me neither! I just used some of the club funds and bought the paints with my allowance when I could to help Calculated! Colt’s absolutely nuts for this stuff. Sunk his entire allowance into building his collection for years, so if you think this is expensive, wait until you see the models!”
“What have I gotten myself into?” I sank to my knees for a moment at the thought of actually spending my allowance on something so frivolous.
“That’s what they all say.” Button snickered as he led me around the table and towards a mountain of plastic boxes. “A lot of ponies just use proxies, but Calcy boi has such a huge collection he usually lets folks borrow some of his. These boxes? Just the stuff he brought today. Crazy, right?”
I boggled as he led me around the boxes to where the gangly unicorn he’d been talking to before school was squinting at a wooden block the size of his head; carefully, he chipped slivers off of a halfway done copy of the picture in the rules book floating nearby.
“I finished the Dark Templars you asked for, if that’s what you’re here for, Button.” He didn’t even look over as he continued working. “Very nice models, but I’m surprised you wanted them.”
“I already told you, Calc. They’re for a friend. Wanna meet her?”
“I have already met Miss Belle, Button, and her desiring them is no less surprising.”
Button blinked before scowling. “No, not her. I’ll have you know, I’m friends with plenty of fillies, actually.”
“Are you perhaps confusing reality with your role plays? I figured they were nothing more than acquaintances.” Calculated adjusted his glasses, tongue screwed up as he removed another chip of wood and sanded it slightly.
“Sweet Celestia….” Button’s hoof slammed into his face hard, loud enough to make me wince. “Can you just… not? Please?”
“Can I not what?” Finally looking over, Calculated blinked and craned his head up as he saw me. “Who’s he?”
“That….” Button sighed as I burned black. “You need to not do that.” He turned to me, grinning sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry about that, Night. This is Calculated, Calculated Plans; I swear he’s smarter than he sounds. And this, Calcy boi, is that friend I was telling you about? This is Nightingale Mooncrest, your newest chew toy on the battlefield.”
“Is she now?” Calculated narrowed his gaze at me as I squirmed and continued to blush. “I’ve heard things about you. You’re popular. Are you sure she hasn’t just lost a bet with whatever jocks she pals around with, Button?”
“Hey!” I took a step forward, wings rustling as Button sighed.
“Oh my gosh, Calculated, just cause that happened to you once doesn’t mean every popular filly is out to get you. Nightingale’s the one who freaking set Preppy straight for crying out loud.”
“That was you?” The unicorn tilted his head at me. “The first or the second time? I didn’t appreciate getting spit on that first time she apologized.”
“Yeah?” I managed a smirk even as it felt like his eyes were peeling me open to dissect me. “That’s exactly what she said when I apologized to her for not being clear enough. Didn’t know that was you, though.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to. Having so many adoring fans tends to send names in one ear and out the other.”
“Dude!” With a snort, Button rolled his eyes.
“Hrmmm?” Turning back to his work, Calculated opened a box to reveal thick foam padding with small holes cut into it. Placing the half-carved model inside one slot, he extracted several of the most wicked and feral little thestrals I’d ever seen and held them out to me. “Are they to your liking? I can change the color scheme next time if you want, but it’s traditional to highlight them in Nightmare Blue and Dark Royal Purple.”
My ears flicked. “N-nightmare blue?”
“No, not just any old blue, capital N, capital B, Nightmare Blue.” He shook his head, pointing to the slitted eyes and several veiny cracks on the armor. “The very corruption of the Nightmare itself. It courses through their veins ever since her most devoted servants drank of the blood to ascend!”
Both our breaths hitched as he finished the last part, although for him it was simply an asthma attack. After a few puffs of his inhaler and a few more deep and measured breaths, his brief bout of manic fanaticism was once again buried under his cold, calculating eyes.
And I quivered for dear life before that gaze.
“That’s not how—”
“Yes, yes, I am aware that thestrals are not the cursed kin of pegasi who fell beside Nightmare Moon. I made sure to do more research after I begged my parents for a vacation at the Griffish Isles and it turned out they had neither a god emperor nor an army of biomantically engineered super soldiers.” Calculated pushed the model closer. “Now answer the question: are these acceptable?”
“They’re, uh, great?” Turning to Button, I mouthed for help and asked myself what Sweetie would do. “I really like their… manes?” Another glance at Button showed him nodding. “Yeah, their manes! How did you manage to get so much texture in their manes?”
“Ah! You noticed that?” With a nod, Calculated finally gave me some much needed space. “Well, there’s a lot more to painting than just slapping colors on a canvas. Some paints exist just to muddle things up. It’s fascinating, really. Real life is messy and never perfect; in order to capture all that—to make it real—you need to be able to mess your work up just as much.”
“Errrr… that’s cool… ish?” I squirmed, glancing at his cutie mark to make sure I hadn’t just got roped into an art discussion with the next Photo Finish.
Nope. Just a weird screwy whirlymajig that kinda looked like Cherry Berry’s helicopter. What did that even stand for?
“…and then you lightly dab it, like this. See? No stroking. Stroking is too uniform. If you dab it, the bristles bend and twist allowing for—”
Nightmother above, he was still going.
“I think she gets the point, Calc.”
I praised Luna as Button stepped forward to put a hoof on his friend’s shoulder.
“How about you set up a game for Night and teach her to play?”
“I haven’t even gotten to how to do the mane yet, though.” Calculated tilted his head. “This is just how to dirty the armor.”
“And?” Button smiled.
“And she asked about the mane.”
“And?”
“I told you, she asked about the mane.”
“And?”
“And? I literally just told you. She—” There was a pause. “She doesn’t actually want the step by step process?”
“There we go! Now tell me what she wants!” Button beamed, slapping Calculated on the back.
“She wants…” The pause was much longer than it needed to be, and the follow up was the drone of some insubordinate whelp mindlessly repeating the lesson a commanding officer was trying to drill into them. “She wants to play a game, because this is a games club—not an art club, nor a book club, nor a wargames and military tactics club.”
“Oooh!” My ears perked. “That last one sounds fun!”
“It does, doesn’t it?” Calculated nodded.
“Not the point, guys!” Button groaned as he gave me the stink eye for some inexplicable reason. “Games club is for games. If you’re gonna nerd out, it should be consensually and with protection. Night is not a painter, riiiiight?”
“It’s, uhh… not a very popular hobby for thestrals.” I shrugged and smiled softly at Calculated. “It’s the colorblindness, you know? My friend Echo up in the Undercity is big on sculpting, though.”
“I see.” Calculated nodded as several boxes lit up with his aura to start resorting and extracting various models. “My apologies, then. I assume you’re simply here to play then? Let me see about drafting an army, then.” He glanced over at Button. “Should I take it easy on her? You said it’s her first time, and you remember what happened the last time I faced somepony new.”
“If you can manage to actually go easy on her, then yeah.” Button was grinning like a loon under moon now that game time was nigh. “Like, no offense, Calculated, but you going easy on somepony is still try-harding as far as anypony else is concerned.”
“It is?” Calculated cocked his head.
“Calcy boi, the last time you went easy on me, it redefined the meta.” With a sigh, Button patted his friend on the back.
“I fail to see what that has to do with anything. Experiments tend to do that.”
“Umm… what’s a meta?” My ears folded back as Calculated blinked at me in bewilderment.
“You don’t know what meta is?” The entire room went silent, the boxes almost dropped as Calculated’s concentration wavered. He furrowed his brow at Button. “Did you pick her units for her?”
“Eeenope.” Button’s grin was back as he started browsing a few of the boxes to find some models of his own. “She picked her army blind as a bat. That’s why I want to see how she does.” A brief nod to me was all I got before he tossed me a box to go through. “And a meta is basically a set of dominant strategies and tactics, Night. It’s like… You know how your dad is as OP as a red and black alicorn?”
“Excuse me?” It was my turn to blink, head rearing back as I whinnied. “My dad is not OP! I think? What does that even mean?!”
“He’s overpowered, Night.” Button snickered as he pulled out a bunch of yaks from the box he was looking through. “Come to think of it, you are too!”
“Are nooooot!” Ears folding back, I blushed and looked for a lampshade to hide under. Finding none, I shoved my head in the box to pull out more thestrals that matched the ones in my book.
“Something, something, wrestling manticores.”
I blushed even blacker and looked up just to slug him into silence. “Make your point already.”
Button lifted a sadistic looking carving of Queen Chrysalis from his box. “Basically, in real life, your dad can’t be everywhere at once, so he can’t be the hero of every battle, right? It doesn’t matter how OP he is when there’s only one of him.”
“I guess? He’s not really suited for—”
Four more Chrysalises thunked onto the table.
“This is a game where any player can field any piece in any army. I could say we’re playing a five hundred point game, right? And if I kept to the spirit of the rules, then that match would basically be two patrols stumbling on each other or a really small skirmish or something. There’s a lot we could sensibly spin it as.” He ran his hoof down the line of changeling queens. “Rules as written, I could also run nothing but Chrysalis and four other changeling queens disguised as her.”
I bristled. “But that’s—”
“Stupid and impractical? Hay yeah, it is.” Button nodded. “But some units are so powerful that players will find any excuse to use them even if it wouldn’t make sense in a real world battle. Imagine going to a tournament where every single player decided to play an army full of nothing but your dad. It doesn’t matter that there’s probably not that many ponies like him and your mom—that’s why they’re the co-captains of the Dawn Guard—a meta player simply uses the best units at their disposal to utterly crush their opposition.”
“But that’s stupid!” I huffed. “Real war isn’t like that!”
“Funny you should say that.” With a smirk, Button put the spare Chrysalises away. “You picked your army blind, but most of your army is the current meta for the Dark Templars.”
“Really?” I blinked. “I-I can pick other units then!”
Button laughed while Calculated arched his brow. “Don’t! Dark Templars aren’t even that strong an army to begin with. It’s just kinda funny, ya know? I wanna see if you actually know how to use them or if you just stumbled onto it accidentally.”
My hooves settled upon the carved box of pieces, the nocturnal creature etched into the wood stretching a grin across my face. I slid it open, pulled out the first piece and turning it over it my hooves. Bending close, I whispered to Captain Mooncrest: “Oh, Captain, my Captain, I shall not fail thee.”
My troops were deploying strategically as I looked over the battlefield in the blessed light of the Nightmother. First Lieutenant Owl Eye was already leading his squad of Hellions around to outflank the enemy, meanwhile Second Lieutenant Murky Lurker was waiting for the word to have him and his Incubi crawl up from the Deep. Me and my fellow Wytches stood atop the mountain like gargoyles as we watched our prey prepare to storm our mountain sanctuary beneath us.
“They dare….” I had to fight not to growl as my tail twitched; my sisters needed a proper example if they were to cease their impatient hissing.
The enemy continued to abuse our honor, blatantly erecting fortifications and defenses upon our land as my young squire Flicker stood below and waited for their ‘official’ answer to my declaration of war. I had given two hours and they had dared use it to build on our lands as if it was already theirs.
“Nightmother protect us.” My wings flared wide in prayer as I checked the moon again. “Their two hours are up. Call Flicker back and let us end this farce.” Growling to the sister beside me, I spat at a nearby rock hard enough to crack it with flashfrozen spit.
As if hearing my words, their troops coalesced into an ironclad formation within the hastily made defenses, and a single warning shot was fired toward Flicker to have her retreat. The growls in our throats all grew at the sight, and my fangs gleamed as I bared them in the moonlight.
“Come then, sisters. We hunt!”
Our screes echoed down the mountain as we took flight and charged—the snow beneath our hooves crackling as it broke free to rumble down the mountain. As planned, the entrance to our sacred caves was buried just as the enemy forces soon would be, and we descended upon them like lighting as they methodically aimed their crossbows and fired.
I roared in fury as so many of the soldiers I’d trained and shared blood with fell before the first round of bolts, unable to use the trees for cover as the avalanche rushed by beneath us. Signalling the first lieutenant with a loud, piercing shriek, I watched as his Hellions took to the air from the right only to despair as our ambush was wasted—the unicorns below lighting their horns to contain the camp in a shield that not only held the avalanche at bay as it finally hit, but barred my advance as the enemy used the respite to take aim and ready a deadly volley of fire.
I cast my gaze about to try and find a way to minimize the losses, my eyes inevitably drawn to the sisters around me. The whimsical Echo triplets. The stalwart Dark Night; Far too many of the mares I was honored to serve with had already fallen this night already; I couldn’t afford to lose anymore. There had to be some form of cover I could—
Looking back, I saw the avalanche was leaving a flurry of wind and loose snow in its wake.
“Retreat!” Unwilling to risk the enemy having another trick up their sleeve as we waited for the avalanche to pass, I pulled my troops back and had First Lieutenant Owl Eye circle back around to prepare for a full on charge rather than my original three-pronged pincer plan.
As the avalanche passed beneath us, we dropped low and flew right above the ground as we charged. Side by side, Lieutenant Owl Eye and I swooped in at the head of our troops, ready for whatever carnage we’d face as the avalanche cleared the Equestrian encampment.
The wave of snow broke before us, and we screed to the heavens as we charged the fortifications point blank.
Then the sunblasted pegasi raked us with a spread of lightning that arched from one of my soldiers to the next.
My troops were wiped out en mass from how clustered we’d been coming in. Flesh sizzled and popped as screams filled the air. My blood boiled as I saw my comrades being so ruthlessly cut down—
“Screep!”
And a wall of crossbow bolts cut through the air in the lightning’s wake, the First Lieutenant throwing himself over me as a squad of snipers singled me out.
“Nooooooo! Owl Eye!” Even the rumbling of the avalanche seemed to pause at my anguished cry, and then the battle resumed as I gladly threw myself at the earth ponies pulling themselves up and over the walls to finish us off.
“You— You bastards!” I managed to take a whole squad of earth ponies by myself as my sisters fell one by one to the other. “He had a family! Kids! Another foal on the way! You’re. Going. To. Pay!”
I leapt up and out of the sniper’s shadows to tear into the squad leader’s throat. My coat shifted with the pulsing blackness of the Nightmare, yet my troops were gone and no soldier could face an army alone.
The snipers desperately scrambled back.
The crossbows leveled at me in unison.
Even as they fired, I used my few remaining moments to try and leap on one last enemy.
Button edged back from the table as I glared bloody murder at the snipers who’d downed my First Lieutenant. My tail flicked side to side as I muttered plan after plan, looking for how I could have saved the poor soldier’s life, and for some reason Button must have thought I was distracted enough not to hear him as he leaned over to whisper in Calculated’s ear.
“Kids?”
“Yes, kids.” My ears flattened as I sulked, finally turning my head from the plastic pile of carnage. “What? Did you think soldiers were just bred and born in a lab for battle?”
“Actually, the lore says—” Calculated’s glasses were briefly knocked askew as Button elbowed his side. “But I suppose that’s a story for another time. That was a rather… odd game, I suppose. Good match.”
“I was a guano guzzling arschgeige.” With a growl, I took his hoof and shook it.
“Yes, well, no plan survives the enemy intact, but that makes you neither a butt nor a violin.” His glasses gleamed as he readjusted them.
“I know that.” Gently kicking the table leg, I looked down to avoid staggering them with the full force of my pout. “But that—” I flailed a hoof in the direction of the mountain that was my grave. “That was just sad.”
“Hrmmm…” Calculated squinted at the table, circling it like a shark. “Was there a reason you didn’t call in the Incubi?”
“I…” Squirming like a maggot about to be sent down the hatch, I blushed black as midnight. “I kinda forgot to call them in for a pincer attack when I charged, and after you tore through the front ranks, I didn’t want them or Second Lieutenant Murky getting torn to pieces.”
Calculated frowned as he nudged a corpse here and there, dissecting his well earned victory like it was a frog. “Huh…. Is that why you pulled back when the shield went up? You had a pretty good three prong attack set up if you’d just stayed put and dropped the Incubi in the middle of my troops as the shield went down. I was only able to reposition my troops like I did because you fell back.”
“Say… what?” Each word was said with a hitch and a squeak. “But I would have been a sitting duck if I’d—“
“You made yourself even more of a sitting duck retreating for cover. I knew where you’d be coming from and positioned accordingly. Plenty more Dark Templars died from that than would have if you’d just stuck to your three prong attack.” Picking my models up, Calculated quickly mocked up both scenarios, and I cringed as I saw how consolidated his forces became when they weren’t trying to cover every direction at once. “If you’d just committed to your strategy, I might have faced an actual challenge.”
“I was just trying to save lives.” I gave him a firm look, a scowl forming as the carnage played out anew.
“Didn’t work out, did it?” Calculated gave a hollow laugh, unfazed. “Soldiers die, Night. It’s a work hazzard, I suppose.”
I slid my captain back into the wooden box, pushing my chair back and standing up stiff straight. My hoof snapped to my forehead in a textbook salute. “You have won the battle, General Calculated, but I swear that I will win the war!” With pounding hooves, I left the games club, and definitely did not slam the door.
“Hrmmm, what do you think, boys? Did I go overboard?”
I squinted down at the troops arrayed before me, spread out over the floofy white battlefield I’d painstakingly tried to sculpt all weekend. My room looked like the aftermath of a hurricane, the furniture all hastily rearranged to make space for the new addition. My old life slanted and sagged and slumped all together near the bed—which had been shafted off to the side. Even that was barely enough to fit the nine-by-six hand table in, the monument to my latest campaign dwarfing me and my little brothers in the shadow of its cumulus-coated mountain top.
“Ummm…” Rolling Thunder peeked out from between my legs, first peering around at my wreck of a room before looking up at my hard work. “Mom’s gonna be mad.”
“You think?” Blinking, I looked around only to purse my lips at the sight of the wreckage.
“Uh-huh!” The little rascal nodded vigorously as he poked out more. “You made a mess; Mom doesn’t like messes... except for Dad she says. That means scoldings or time outs or maybe even a spanking!” His eyes widened in horror. “No candy-coated cockroaches for a week!”
“I wanna climb it ‘fore Mom makes it go bye bye!” From his spot on my back, Red scrunched down and prepared to pounce, and only my quick and merciless glower cowed him back. “Meanie.”
“You can climb it after I get it enchanted so that I’m the only one who can ruin it.” With a small snort, I finally chuckled. Shaking my head, I turned back to admiring my handywork. “I don’t think Mom and Dad are gonna let me keep it in here, though, so—”
I paused, ear flicking at the loud and obnoxious beating of a hammer starting off somewhere outside. Grabbing my glasses and poking my head through the wall, all I saw was Aunt Mercy patting some clouds down in the early morning light—Daisy snoozing on her back. She looked up, saw me, waved with a cocky grin, and I rolled my eyes as I pulled back into the house.
“Was Auntie doing Auntie things again?” Rolling tilted his head up at me.
“No idea, squir— Oh, geeze, Red!” I swooped over to the table to carefully extract him as he trotted all over it. “I told you not to do that! How would you like it if I smashed my way through your blocks, huh?”
“I smash my blocks all the time!” Red puffed out his chest. “Why build stuff and not smash it?”
“You know I didn’t have to let you in my room to see it, right?” I growled as I set Red down on the floor. “I’m being nice cause your brother asked. Don’t make me kick you—”
This time, the buzzing of saws cut through the air as multiple hammers banged down on wood. The whir of machines and the sputtering of engines accompanied the roar of heavy construction equipment and the shrill beeping of a great metal beast in reverse. Both Rolling’s ears and mine scurried back at the volume, but as soon as I made it back to the wall and shoved my head through, there was only cloud crickets.
And Aunt Mercy was just patting more clouds down, whistling as she worked.
“Uhh… Hey, Aunt Mercy? What are you doing out there?” Flashing her a grin, I may have bared my fangs just a little. “I’m not gonna have to call the Guard, am I?”
“Screeheehee! Oh, Night! What do you think I’m doing?” Tittering like mad, Aunt Mercy waggled her brow at me.
“I don’t know.” I stuck my tongue out. “Things? Stuff? Smile dip? You’re making too much noise just to be patting down some clouds.”
“Hah!” With how loud she slapped her knee, it was amazing to see Pushing just snoozing along. “And what if I am? A little noise won’t hurt anypony. Besides—” Her grin was as shark-like as mine. “—what do you expect? I gotta rebuild the nursery. Daddy dearest ordered me to~” With a scandalous wink that made me shudder for poor Dad, she went back to shaping the cloud.
“Rebuild the… again?” I sighed and shook my head. “What went wrong this time?”
“Uhhh…” My Aunt had the decency to blush even as her horseapple-eating grin grew, burying her head further into the cloud to hide it. “I packed the last one together too tight. When I woke up this morning, she was on the ground buried in a puddle of fog.”
I blinked bemusedly. “Do you… need any help?”
“Me? Need help?” My hackles skyrocketed as she pivoted to smile and flutter her lashes at me. “You should know better, Night.”
“Yeah, uh…” I had to fight the urge to just edge back inside, and my Aunt knew how to make it a losing battle. “Well, if you do need anything, just call.” Popping back inside, I hastily patched up the hole in the wall.
“Take that, Smitey McSmiterson! No pony can stop the Moony Maiden’s cootie cannon!” The twins, of course, were back on the table and playing with my troops like they were nothing but toys to be used, abused, and left broken and gnawed on. Miniatures were scattered all over the floor from their battle, while the two butted heads over probably the only two pieces left standing.
“Whah?! No fair, Red! Why do you get the power of cooties?!”
“Cause I picked a filly, duh!” Red tossed his head back and preened, little feathery stubs flaring out as he puffed out his chest like a peacock. “I was tabicable!” He tilted his head to the side. “Taminical? Ta… Ta… I was a big word! And big words make me better than you!”
“Does not!”
“Does too!”
“Does not!”
“Does too!”
“Does not!” Rolling’s pouty face scrunched up as he stomped and flared his own wings. “Smitey McSmiterson is like, half robot, half dinosaur, and half geese! He can’t be affected by cooties!”
“Oh yeah?!” Red reared back, wings buzzing.
“Yeah! So eat lazor eyes! Brrrrrrrrzoooow!” Rolling swooped my poor Second Lieutenant forward and enough was finally enough.
“Oi, twerps!” I growled. “What do you think you’re—” The rest of my scolding was thoroughly drowned out as my Aunt’s crazy construction resumed at something like ten times the volume of before. Even Red had his ears folded back to his head.
As I glowered back at the wall and debated plowing through it and declaring Schattenkrieg, the racket got louder and louder until—with the great snapping crack of timber giving way—the ceiling caved in to smush all my cloud furniture into one poofy lump.
I just barely managed to cover the twins in time, shielding them with my body as the cloud thundered down on us. Nothing sharp or heavy hit me, but still… it was the principle of the matter. Who knew what unholy tools my aunt used in her nefarious construction efforts. Raising a hoof to my snoot to make sure my glasses were straight, I shoved Rolling as far under one wing as I could to protect his eyes; I popped my head out of the debris to spit a few puffs of cloud out of my mouth.
“Arschmade.” I glared up at Aunt Mercy as she stuck her head over the edge of the hole.
“Heh, guess I earned that one.” She looked away for a moment, her cocky grin falling. “Still, don’t let your dad or your brothers hear you.” It was back in a flash as she laughed. “Sorry. I don’t really do soft and gentle.”
“Ugh, I asked if you needed help!” Lifting a hoof out of the floof, I stabbed it upwards. “And now my room is trashed! I just spent all weekend building a table to help me plan my revenge on that no-good, heartless schweinehund at games club!”
“You spent all weekend building a single table?” Aunt Mercy’s smirk widened. “You sure you can help me?”
“Grrrr…”
“Fine, fine. Learn to take a joke, why don’t you?” Aunt Mercy waved me back before I could go for the throat, pulling back and leaving me to shepard the squirming twerps towards my door.
“Screep!” Rolling’s face was fiercely scrunched to avoid the eye of the hungry sun witch as I swatted him and his brother through my door and into the hall. “Is it… safe now?”
“Yeah, shrimp, you’re safe.” Giving him a little smirk, I ruffled his mane.
Rolling blindly shook me off with another adorable little screep, sneaking a peek before quickly retreating back behind his eyelids like he was expecting trickery. Safe from the sun in the sweet shade of home and hearth, however, he started blinking rapidly before lunging forward in a rib-cracking hugg.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He nuzzled up into the crook of my neck. “I didn’ have my glasses, and I didn’ know where to dig, and I… I… The sun is so scary, Night!”
“Pffft! Is not!” Even having run off to who knows where, Red was determined to give his two cents as he laughed from wherever he was currently causing chaos. “Weichei!”
“Oi! Language!” I growled and glowered off in the direction Red was still snickering from. “And don’t make fun of your brother! Or do you want me telling him about the other night when you woke me up not wanting Mom or Dad knowing why you wet the—”
“N-no fair! Niiiiiiight! You promised you wouldn’t tell!” Red’s whine was so high it made his brother stop sniffling and giggle.
“Then shut your pie hole, soldier.” I stomped a hoof to let a little thunder rumble through the house. “Everypony is afraid of something, and unlike your little nightmare from the other day, the sun can and has hurt your brother, understood?!”
There were a few moments of silence before Red shuffled slowly around the corner with both his and Rolling’s favorite plushies under his wing. Walking up to us with his head held low, he peeked up as he reached us to give his brother his mini Princess Luna. Rolling gave another sniffle and smile as he took it, opening up his wing to let Red and his pint-sized Princess Twilight plushie in on the wing-hugging action.
“‘M’sorry,” Red mumbled around a faceful of smart purple plush.
With a giggle, Rolling booped his brother’s snoot. “It’s okay. I’m not the one afraid of quesadillas!~”
“Wh-wha—” Red gave me the most absolute and pitiable look of betrayal.
“Hey! Don’t look at me!” My head reared back as I instinctively looked away before my heart stopped. “I didn’t breathe a word!”
“Screeheehee! She didn’t, but you did!” Squirming out of my grip, Rolling ran off with his precious Princess, giggling like a loon under moon. “Somepony says stuff in their slee-eeeep!~”
“Oh, yeah?!” Red buzzed his wings as he burst out of my hooves to pursue his brother with righteous wrath. “Well… well… you’re a smelly buttface who doesn’t know anything! Princess Twilight herself said she can’t stand quesadillas! A Princess! Princesses always have good reasons for everything, so quesadillas have to be secretly awful no matter how good Mom makes ‘em!”
Chuckling as they ran off, I shook my head. “Don’t wreck the house now, you two! Your aunt is already doing enough of that, you hear?” The two blitzed past me as their chase worked its way around the home to whirlwind back, both shouting what may or may not have been an affirmative as they passed. I stuck out my hooves to nab them both back up, grinning at them as they squeaked and continued pumping their legs fruitlessly. “Oi. I’m serious. Play all you want, but don’t trash the house. I’m gonna be heading outside to help Aunt Mercy fix the mess she’s made. If I come back in and find there’s a feather out of place, you’ll be the ones cleaning it.”
Setting the wriggling Rolling down first, I gave him a nice head start. “Oh, and put your glasses on in case Aunt Mercy bucks up again!” I pulled Red back up just before letting him loose. “You have thirty seconds to do that before I unleash your brother on you!”
“Awwww, no fair!” Red squirmed and kicked harder in my grip—almost throwing himself off balance when I released him after only about ten seconds with an evil grin. Lifting a hoof to my lips to shush him, I waved him off with a hoof so he could go jump his brother in the dark.
Brothers handled, I stood up straight, made sure my glasses were on nice and tight, and raided Mom and Dad’s closet to snag a combat helm. It wasn’t as cool as a guard helm, but all I wanted was a hard hat in case of… accidents. The sound of machinery and swinging steel beams grinded away at my ears again as I swooped up to find that, yes, Aunt Mercy really was just that bad at working cloud.
It was mind boggling to watch as the cloud fought her kicking and screaming whenever she did more than pat it down. Pull it, shape it, twist it, bop it, any and everything she did to it seemed to have the cloud crackle with lightning or shriek like a metal banshee.
It was downright cringeful and mesmerising; I couldn’t help the fact that I stared.
“You going to do more than stand there, Mausi?” Ears flicking, Aunt Mercy looked over her shoulder to grin at me.
Balking at the sudden realization that I was just standing there and doing nothing, I instead stomped a hoof and used the crackle of thunder to hide my embarrassed screep. “Me?” I gestured to the torturous misshapen mass of clouds my aunt was working on. “What are those? Pillars? Walls? The spawn of the Nightmare herself?”
“Can’t it be all three?” With a titter, Aunt Mercy waggled her brow at me. “If you must know, though, it’s a crib.”
”A crib….” Cocking my head at the wibbly-wobbly mess of tubes, I shook my head and smiled my best Sergeant Smiles smile. “You call that a crib, Cadet! That’s a Luna forsaken travesty of modern art! No, it’s one of those sun blasted cat toys! You think a pet palace is good enough for your daughter, soldier?!”
“Excuse me?” In a flash, Aunt Mercy turned, fangs gleaming with all the hunger of the sun. “Did you just call me… Ohohohoho! That is rich coming from you. Cute, little Nightingale’s finally grown a pair, hrmmm?~ You’re not my commanding officer, dear.”
“Wanna bet?” I kept scowling right back. “I can always ask Mom and Dad when they’re back—right after telling them you crashed the roof down on me and my brothers.”
“You wouldn’t.” My aunt narrowed her eyes.
“I would.” It was my turn to smirk. “I am more than peeved enough about losing that table. You’re just lucky cloud can’t hurt the rest of my stuff or we’d be going to the mat right here and now.”
With a tsk, Aunt Mercy flicked her tail and backed up from her cumulous monstrosity. “Fine, show me how it’s done then, sarge.”
“Gladly.” As I sauntered up, she hip checked me so I would stumble a little. Both our eyes tossed daggers back and forth as I turned to glare anew, then all of a sudden she chuckled and smiled, reaching up to ruffle my mane.
“Your inner Tempered is showing, pipsqueak.” She laughed as I batted her hoof away and blushed black. “Go on, then~” She licked her lips and waggled her brow at me. “Show me how it’s done, bat daddy~”
Ooooooooooh… Eww, eww, eww, eww, ewwwwwwwwww….
Little trails of smoke curled out of my ears as my coat burned as black as the Nightmare and my brain just fizzled and died. That… that was totally getting redacted and filed where I would never find it again. Holy motherbucking guano.
“Awww… you really are like your Dad, pipsqueak! I remember when we first met…. He always made the cutest little faces when your mom and I teased him!” With a titter, Aunt Mercy booped my snoot and bumped her hip into me again. “You know, there was a time those two weren’t so cut and dry? Your Dad probably doesn’t tell you those stories, but I might have been your mom if things had gone down a little differently.”
“Yeah, right. If that’s what you wanna think.” Shaking my head, I tsked and moved up to focus on the work at hoof. A few careful bucks got me back the building material Aunt Mercy had been using, and I flapped it off to the side so I could evaluate the house itself. A little cloud here, a little cloud there, fix my sun blasted ceiling and blam. Now, we at least had some decent foundations for the nursery.
“I’m not lying, kiddo.” Aunt Mercy watched as I sculpted and molded the cloud, her lips pursed as she clicked her tongue against her teeth. “The three of us were thick as thieves after we met, and your parents were just as wild as me in their younger years in the Guard. If I’d pushed a little harder—actually committed when they were finally ready to settle—there might have been a decent shot they'd have let me join as a second wife.”
I gathered the cloud for a crib in silence, my brow furrowed as Aunt Mercy talked. When she sauntered up to help me pat it down and reached out her hoof though, I had to swat it away. “Not like that. Like this.” I showed her how Mom showed me, carefully smoothing with the gentlest of touches. “You’re going in with so much force my coat is tingling. You wanna bring down the thunder on my room again?”
“Mmmmm… maybe?” My aunt’s smirk was back in full force as I scowled at her. “Oh, come on, I’ll help you fix it! Screeheehee!”
“Like Tartarus you will.” With a huff, I shoved my hoof inside the cloud, fiddling around with it until I pulled out a hail stone. “See this? I know we’re not true blue pegasi, but how in the name of the Nightmother can you not feel yourself making this? Or the patches of static?”
Popping the hailstone out of my hoof and into her mouth, it was gone with a crunch that left Aunt Mercy licking her lips. “Tempered was just as bad, little mausebär—even with that topside house he grew up in. He ever tell you the story of how we both got barred from all guard-mandated weather maintenance?”
“Yeah.” I grunted and slapped my aunt’s hoof away again; just her setting it on the clouds I was working with raised my hackles from errant static and poor control. “He told me that one so I wouldn’t shirk Mom’s lessons. He also told me how much he practiced after that incident; that’s something you clearly haven’t done, so back off and let me do this.” With a snort, I may have pummeled— I mean, packed some of the clouds a bit tighter than I needed to. “Complete and utter horseapples. I can’t believe I have to pick up after you like this. You’re like a newly fanged foal.”
“Excuse me?” This time, it was the throaty growl my aunt made that raised my hackles. “It’s not like I asked you for help. Tell ya what. You go off and snog your fillyfriend and I’ll take care of your room too.”
“No way. Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen.” I did my best to keep working and not growl in kind. “I barely even let Mom and Dad mess with my room; you don’t get that privilege.”
“I insist.” It was hard to tell what was hungrier, Aunt Mercy’s grin or the hot, itchy sun on my back.
“Go guzzle some guano. I’m not letting you destroy the house.” I turned to glower with such intensity that my aunt briefly reared her head back and flared her wings.
“Grrrrr… Why are you being so difficult about this? Seriously, go suck some filly face. I’ll be fine.”
“No. You. Won’t.” I growled as I turned and flared my own wings, casting her in shadow as she looked up at me.
“Yes. I. Will.” As my aunt’s growl shifted a bit lower, I noticed my ever unflappable cousin finally whimper a little and stir from her nap on her mother’s back. Aunt Mercy did too from the way her ear flicked and her scowl deepened. “Your father asked me to build the nursery, and Discord damn it all, you are not gonna stop me from doing that. Now... how about you back off before I go all the way to prove that, little mausebär. I will declare Schattenkrieg if I’ve got to.”
The two of us squared off in silence—jaws set, wings flared, stalking little circles around each other. I knew there was no way she’d really do it. Even she couldn’t be that reckless.
She took a step forward? I took two and called her bluff, forcing her to back.
The dance didn’t end there, though. Schweinehund that she was, Aunt Mercy continued to stalk and prod my defenses. I advanced again to the same result as she darted around me to avoid my attempts to corner her. When I growled in response, she had the audacity to shush me with a hip check so fast that she had bounced back to safety before I even knew what hit me.
And through it all, little Daisy was still miraculously snoozing away, even if it was now fitful and full of whimpers.
“Give it up, little mausebär. I’m not budging on this. You know why I can’t.” Whisper or not, my Aunt’s words hammered down on me.
I glowered and glared to no avail as we stood still and stared each other down.
Then, my Aunt took another step forward.
And I was the one stepping back.
“Discord damn it all….” I looked away. “You’re not bluffing are you? Fine. We’ll work on it together. Stars above, though, Aunt Mercy, you don’t play fair. I get you wanna impress Dad, but how the hay can you expect him or Mom to ever say yes when you pull stunts like this!” With a snort, I got my glower back together and gestured at my still slumbering cousin. “You can’t just waltz in and swing your daughter about like she’s a bloody flammenschwert!”
Rearing her head back, Aunt Mercy gave a whimpering whinny before curling herself in and sinking into her shadow. “Is that… Is that all you see it as? Daisy isn’t… I wouldn’t ever…” The silence that fell over us felt like eons rather than seconds, and my ears folded back as my aunt seemed ready to waver and evaporate in the sun. “Look, Night, I know I’m not really mom material compared to Morning, but—”
“Stop. Just stop.” I looked away again. “I was out of line, and I’m sorry.”
“Are you really?”
“No.”
“Do you… want me to leave and get a place in town?”
“No.”
“Well, what do you want, then?”
“I don’t know.”
That, at least, got one of us to smile wearily. “Isn’t that always the case?”
“Why do I get the feeling you aren’t talking about me there?” My eyes narrowed a bit as my aunt giggled.
“You never know~ Not knowing what they want is something just about every teenager angsts over.” Edging over to the forgotten crib, my aunt put my cousin back on her perch and shakily began trying to weave the clouds like I had been before.
“I don’t angst! I brood! Angsting is daydweller stuff!” I grumbled as I moved beside her to help straighten out her mistakes.
“Hrmmm… If you say so.” With a tsk, Aunt Mercy quickly pulled back a hoof as lightning crackled over the cloud.
Saying nothing for a while, I continued plucking hail out of the crib as Aunt Mercy sculpted it. “So… how the hay does that little twerp of yours manage to stay under like that?”
“Well~” My aunt grinned like a loon under moon. “It could be I’m just that good… or it could be I spiked her baby mush.” I scowled at her and she giggled. “Fine, fine. Want the truth? I don’t know, but I like to think I make her feel safe.” As I arched my brow at her statement, the giggle turned to a full on laugh as she plucked Pushing Daisies up to set her in the crib. “Here. Watch.”
The instant Aunt Mercy’s hooves left little Daisy, my cousin squirmed in her sleep and whimpered; the farther my aunt stepped back, the worse Daisy’s fitless rest became. When Aunt Mercy scrunched down as if to take off, the little bugger’s ear flicked as she sneezed and startled herself awake. She blinked blearily for a moment, then froze as she saw her mother.
“Mmmmnnnnaaa!” Squiggling forward, Daisy stuck her hooves through the bars reach for Aunt Mercy, wriggling more and more desperately as the enchanted clouds held. “Mmmmmnnnnaaaa! Mmna, mmna, mmna, mmmmmmna!” I almost didn’t catch it as her little horn sparked and lit, the little scamp disappearing in a flash to be replaced by the basket that was supposed to be on Aunt Mercy’s back.
“Holy—” I bit back my first two responses, quickly glancing at my aunt to see Pushing hugging around her mother’s neck. “—horseapples.”
“See?” Cocking the cockiest of grins, Aunt Mercy puffed out her chest. “Little pup can’t stand to be without her bitch.” Turning her head back, she nuzzled her now gurgling and giggly daughter. “Isn’t that right, you little bugger?”
“Pffflbtaabuu!” Daisy wagged her tail as she blew a raspberry into Aunt Mercy’s neck.
“Well, that sounds like a yes.” I gave a little smile as they continued to go back and forth, letting them have their fun as I went back to cleaning up the crib. “Was that her dad’s spell, by the way?” Picking up the basket from the crib, I set it to the side.
“Yeah…” Aunt Mercy’s face fell for a moment, ears splaying back even as Daisy doubled down on the nuzzling. “I was gonna get her a bracelet for it, but then—” She paused for a moment, biting her lip and gazing off into the great white beyond. “Then, daddy dead-to-me cut me off. Heh… It didn’t seem so important after that.”
“Well, talk with Mom and Dad, then.” Moving over to her, I rested a hoof on her shoulder. “Those aren’t the sort of surges you want happening on a whim, especially up here. Just imagine if she swapped places with a passing bird!”
“Oh?” The smirk was back in a flash as my aunt bared her fangs in a grin. “I bet you five bits she does it and learns to self-levitate before she hits the ground.”
“Pffft! Seriously?” Pulling my hoof back, I slugged her shoulder instead. “Don’t make me sic Mom on you.”
“Screeheeheehee! I dare you to try!” It was scary how dad-like the pose Aunt Mercy struck was. “Your mom’s old news, little mausebär. While she’s been stuck with a cushy captain’s job, I’ve been training on the front lines. No way she can still beat me!”
“Five bits says she creams you.” I chuckled as we both got back to work on the nursery.
“You know, that actually sounds great!” We paused to shake and her fate was sealed.
Oh, poor, sweet, innocent Aunt Mercy… if only she knew what it meant to be stationed in Ponyville under Princess Twilight Sparkle.
There was a flash of light, the honking blare of death, and then the geese were everywhere as Aunt Mercy and I dove for cover into the cloud floor, where we waited with bated breath until the maddening storm of vicious honks had passed. It felt like an eternity as the seconds crawled by, and every time I closed my eyes in the miserably damp and cold condensation vent, I saw flashes of their needle sharp teeth and the angry little beads of their eyes.
Maybe it would be alright. Maybe they were just fighting to get out of the newest hole in the wall. Maybe they were just honking impatiently as they waited in a neat little line like they were at Whinny World.
Or maybe they were wrecking the just-finished nursery… again….
At least Aunt Mercy and I had gotten a snack with the termites, but seriously, twice in a row? Unicorn foals were such a pain in the—
There was another sneeze and the floor exploded, leaving me to flail as I fell into my still wrecked room. It was just a shockwave of magic this time—thank the stars—not even powerful enough to fully disperse the cloud. Pushing must have finally been out of juice.
I hoped she was out of juice.
“And here I thought the Pink Demon was lying about Pumpkin Cake.” I rose with a growl to once more survey the destruction.
“She’s not normally this bad.” Aunt Mercy was already on her hooves and checking on her adorable, little demon spawn. “If she was, I’d never be able to hide it from your parents.”
“Hide what from my parents?” I furrowed my brow and looked back down from the hole to eye my aunt with my best Mom face.
“Oh, nothing~” Aunt Mercy smirked. “I’ve been able to deal with it so far, honest.” Lazily crossing her heart, she leapt with a flap of her wings to circle back up to the floor above. “Last time she did anything like this was when she—”
I blinked at the abrupt stop and squinted up at the horrible gnawing white before I jumped to join her. “Was when she…” I prompted, and frowned when Aunt Mercy paled and flicked her tail restlessly.
“Don’t worry about it,” Aunt Mercy said far too quickly, eyes shifting from side to side as she bit her lip. “It was before I got here, and it’s not something you need to worry about if you know what’s good for you.”
I scowled, but then let it pass. “I swear, if I hear you were actually swinging her around like a flammenschwert.”
“Oh, please.” My aunt snorted. “A flaming baby sword would have been way cooler. Grossly irresponsible, and not something even I would have done—” She looked pointedly at me. “—but her father wasn’t much of an evocator, and neither is she.”
“Thank the stars for that.” I shook my head, just imagining the chaos a bit of extra spontaneous combustion would cause. “Still, I’m done. I’m not building that room a third time until we get a sun-blasted suppressor ring or something.”
“I think you’re overreacting just a little, pipsqueak.” Aunt Mercy’s smile had a hint of fang as she perched on the precipice of the ruined room.
“I’m just being practical.” I wanted to growl but couldn’t really blame Aunt Mercy for getting defensive. “It's not like we’ll be sticking her in criminal-grade restraints or anything, but Mom and Dad and I can’t help you with Daisy’s surges; living up here is going to be dangerous if we don’t shut them down.”
Aunt Mercy gave a little hiss. “Tssssk! You think I don’t know that? Just… remember the feather flu? Remember how miserable that bloody cone is? It’s like that or like those thrice damned leashes for pegasus foals. Besides, her surges are the only real thing she has to protect herself.”
I arched my brow. “Prote— Just what the hay is she gonna need to protect herself from? She has you, doesn’t she?”
Aunt Mercy bit her lip before sighing. “Fine…. I was getting hungry anyways. We can stop for lunch now and go grab one before we continue.”
“Thank you.” I nodded. “Let’s go get the twins, grab lunch, and head to Sweetie Belle’s, then.” I arched a brow at Aunt Mercy’s snicker. “What?”
“Your little unicorn friend? Pfffft! Hah!” My aunt threw back her head in a throaty laugh. “I just figured you’d end up dragging me to the castle to schmooze one out of the Princess of Nerds.”
“And get Mom and Dad wound up in this?” I snorted and grinned. “Now? I’ve gone through too much guano today to do that now. At this point, my pride is as much on the line as yours. Nah, we’ll just go see if Sweetie’s folks still have the one they used. From what I’ve heard, Rarity’s horn literally used to drag her off into the night.”
“Snnnnrrk! Now that would make a funny court case.” Aunt Mercy snickered as she leapt in the air to lazily float around me. “Rarity versus Rarity: attempted foalnapping.”
“Her horn had the right to remain silent.” I gave her my Daddliest grin. “Any flickers of light can and will be used against it in a court of law.”
“Hah! You’re your father’s daughter, alright.” Slapping my back with one hoof, my aunt circled up and gave a lazy salute before she started gliding to the ground below. Pushing burbled and shrieked in glee in the wind as she and her Mom drifted down to the underporch, and I shook my head as I jumped back down with a smile to loot through my room for my bit bag.
“Oi, twerps! Fall in, would ya? We’re heading out for lunch!” I opened my door to find the two of them crouched at it, ears to the door. They wobbled slightly as I pulled the door in on them, but they hardly let it trip them up, smiling shamelessly at me as they jumped to their hooves and looked up at me.
I squinted down at them for a moment—their little halos of innocence not fooling me one bit—but a cursory inspection of the hall suggested they had listened to me when I said to not wreck the house. A few clicks seemed to confirm it, but I swept through the house all the same, and all the while they bounced more and more restlessly, devious little smiles growing.
Finally, unable to wait the measly five minutes my inspection was taking, Red buzzed his wings in a fervor and let out a whine. “Come on, come on, come on! Everything’s fine! Let’s go already! Where are we going? Is it Sugarcube Corner? It totally is, isn’t it?! I love Sugarcube Corner! Pinkie Pie’s the best!”
“She is, is she?” I gave a tired smile as I kept looking, and my efforts finally bore fruit as a few clicks revealed a few small, hard lumps buried under the coffee table.
Red’s head bobbed like a tightly bound spring, his mane whipping up and down wildly. “Yuh-huh! She’s all poofy and giggly and sweet, and her hair tastes like cotton candy and bubble gum! She’s like, the Princess of Candy and Sweets!”
His grin was just a little too wide, though, and I tried not to smirk as I let out a few more clicks. Seems Red was still playing with the house and making hail—a minor infraction all things considered. I let him sweat it for a bit as I approached the table to clean and stack the blocks he’d left smashed all over near it, but I just didn’t have the heart to call him on it.
Mom would give him lessons soon enough.
“Hmmm, it sounds like you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike her.” I grinned as I turned back to the terrible twosome. “The Pink Demon? A Princess? Pretty sure Tartarus will freeze over first. What do you think, Rolling?”
“Ummm…” The little rascal squirmed as he looked anywhere but at me. “I plead the fifth.”
With a snort of laughter, I leaned down to ruffle his mane. “You even know what that means?”
Now that I was down on my knees and level with him, he turned to look at me with the cutest little pout. “No, but Daddy says it a lot. Am I using it wrong? What’s it mean? Fifth means five, so five of what?” He gave a sudden gasp that jostled his glasses. “Is this about that fifth leg you told us about? It is, isn’t it?!”
My snort turned to full on laughter even as I blushed at the memory of that little slip up. “No, it’s not about that. It’s about a law. You know what those are?”
“They’re the big pony rules Mom and Dad make sure ponies follow.” Rolling nodded. “Breaking them gets you extra big time outs and no dessert for months.”
“Heh… Good to see you listen, unlike some troublemakers.” I ruffled his mane again and lifted him on my back. Red stuck his tongue out at me as I bent down for him, hopping away in a huff.
“Not a troublemaker! Rules are just stupid!” Red buzzed his wings and ran for the door. “I’ll even show you! I’m gonna glide down all on my own! Woot!”
“Red, wait!” I bolted after him, but he took after Mom while I took after Dad. He was quick as a whip as he burst through the door to shut it in my face, giggling like mad as he jumped. “Oi! Aunt Mercy! We got a jumper! Be ready to catch and roll!”
Rolling clutched me tight as I jolted through the door to make another Luna forsaken hole I was gonna need to fix and leapt after Red. The little bugger was wobbling through the air and outright eeped as I pounced after him. His wings froze for just a moment, but he didn’t actually drop out of the glide like I thought he would. I missed my mark because of it, and sailed right under him, but the fact that he held it together let me begrudgingly settle for gliding under him just in case.
Aunt Mercy, to her credit, was watching us both with the unwavering gaze of an owl about to swoop in. Prowling about beneath us, she was tense and ready for takeoff.
“Wheeheeheeeeeeeeeee!” Red circled around and around erratically until he finally made it to the ground in one piece. “See! I told you! Rules are stupid!”
“No, they’re not.” With a throaty growl, I stomped. “You could have gotten really hurt if your wings froze up any more and I wasn’t there. Your wings are getting clipped when Mom and Dad get home, Red. I’m gonna make sure of it.”
“Awwwww! Come on! Why are you always so laaaaaaame?!” The little twerp squeaked and stomped in kind.
“No dessert for you at Sugarcube Corner, either.”
“What?! That’s not fair! I made it without crashing! I should get more dessert!” He actually reared back and hissed at me, but it was really underwhelming with him just being a pegasus.
I ignored the tantrum rather than feed it and looked back at Rolling. “Sorry, Rolling, but if you want dessert, you’ve got to share with me now. I remember the last time you two weaseled out of not getting dessert by sharing with each other.”
Rolling had the decency to blush as he looked away. “Ummm… okay….”
Red gave the most shocked gasp of betrayal at that. “You’re the worst!” The kick to the shin wasn’t exactly hard against somepony like me, but it took significantly more effort to ignore than a bit of shouting. Still, I managed, and my brother settled into a moping sulk as he trailed behind me and Aunt Mercy with his tail tucked between his legs.
“Kind of harsh, don’t you think?” Aunt Mercy tsked, glancing over her shoulder at Red as he trailed behind us.
“Harsh, but necessary.” I frowned. “He needs to learn that actions have consequences.”
“Not every foal can be as straight and narrow as you were, pipsqueak.” My aunt snorted. “And you know what trying too hard gets you? It gets you me.”
“Excuse me?” I blinked and pulled up short for just a second, making Aunt Mercy laugh.
“Screeheehee! Oh, come on, pipsqueak! You know how much of an overbearing schweinhund my former old man is. He’s a complete and utter control freak. Back before he stopped giving a shi—” Aunt Mercy bit her tongue at my glower. “—iny silver fish about me, I would always get disciplined over the littlest things. You know what it’s like to get grounded for using the wrong spoon?”
With a good, solid snort, I rolled my eyes. “Oh, please. I’m not anywhere near as bad as Bitter Bite.”
“Pfft! At this point, I’m not sure anypony can be as wretched as he is.” My aunt flicked her tail like a whip, wings rustling, eyes narrowing. “Foals have turned into rebellious little brats over less, though.”
I looked back at Red as he trailed just a little behind us. Head low, shoulders slumped, he really knew how to sell it, but I’d be a foal to give in now.
“I’ll think of something,” I murmured quietly in a pitch high enough that only me, Aunt Mercy, and Rolling could possibly hear. Rolling gave me a little squeeze and nuzzle from behind, and we all trudged on until we finally reached Sugarcube Corner for lunch.
Mrs. Cake was behind the counter today, thank the stars, and we saw no hint of the Pink Demon other than the toothless beast guarding the door to the kitchen as she sang her siren songs from within. More than a few foals surrounded the lithe alligator in a half circle, daring each other to rush past it. Red took one look at me and simply joined me in line with a sigh, his brother squeezing me a bit tighter even as he looked at the gaggle of giggling foals longingly.
“Oh, don’t give me that,” I groaned. “You know as well as I do that if I give you a decent shot at the kitchen, Pinkie is going to be hoofing out sweets. No. I told you no dessert and I meant it. Now what do you two want to eat?”
Sullen silence answered me until Rolling murmured. “What’s spana— spana— What’s the special thingy on the menu?”
I glanced at the lunch menu and squinted as it occurred to me just why most foals only came here for dessert. “Spanakopita.” I muttered and squinted at the fine print under it. “Looks like it’s a spinach and feta pie. You like spinach, right, you two?”
More silence answered as Rolling squirmed on my back. “I know Red does, but I don’t…. Do they have that egg pie thing?”
“A quiche?” I looked the menu up and down. “Yeah, today they’ve got a plain cheddar one, and one with mushrooms and…” I squinted at perhaps the single smallest line of text I’d ever read. “Now that can’t be right.” I glanced at the kitchen where the Pink Demon slaved away, heat wafting lazily above and below the batwing doors to the back.
“Hold the line, will you?” I nodded to Aunt Mercy, walked on over to the door, and walked right over the alligator to take a deep whiff. The savory smell of crisp, juicy bacon wafted faintly in the air, making me salivate and lick my lips.
“No. Bucking. Way.”
It was inevitable. I had to see to believe it, and so Rolling and I floated through the doors as we followed the smell. The Pink Demon blurred and rushed about with unholy speed as she operated like, twenty ovens at once, and there—sitting on the cupboard off to the side—were five full quiches topped with piggy goodness.
“How? Why? Who?” I stared at the pies almost stricken silent, then hurriedly rushed back out of the kitchen and back in line. We were almost to the front at that point and as we finally made it there, I gaped and floundered like a fish out of water to Mrs. Cake.
“Bacon?” I rasped and gestured vaguely at the kitchen, not daring to look and tempt myself. “Why is the Pink One baconing— I mean, baking with bacon?!”
Mrs. Cake gave a weary smile, chuckling weakly and shaking her head. “Twilight has a few visiting dignitaries right now, and those quiche’s were brunch for the griffons. Would you like them, Night, dearie? Your father was reluctant to take them when we offered for some reason.”
I bit my lip to gaze longingly at the kitchen door.
“He had that same look on his face, too!” The chuckle turned to a brief and cheery laugh. “Poor darling seemed to want it really bad, even though he said no.”
Aunt Mercy had perked her ears at the word bacon and leaned to relook at the menu with a hungry gleam. “They’re just trying to be polite about it.” She snorted. “Most thestrals only eat fish or insects unless they have a special reason to—traditions, holidays, celebrations. It's a giant load of horseapples, really. The practice only really picked up after Thestrals joined Equestria, so you just know it's there to settle a bunch of daydweller stomachs.”
“Wait, what?” I blinked.
“Oh? Did you not know that, pipsqueak?” Aunt Mercy smirked. “Yeah, it’s an Equestrian thing. Way up in Die Heimat, they hunt just as freely if not more vehemently than the griffons do. Some of them even like their meat raw.”
“Ewwwww….” I grimaced as Mrs. Cake and the ponies behind us wavered and turned sickly pale. The flower sisters, Daisy, Rose, and Lily, fainted just like they always did, and I slugged Aunt Mercy as her smirk only erupted in laughter at our reactions.
“We’ll take the lot, Mrs…. Cake, was it?”
“But…” I raised a hoof to object and my aunt glowered at me.
“Do you want all that bacon to go to waste?” She arched her brow at me.
“What kind of question is that?” My head reared back. “Of course not, it’s just—”
“Then close your eyes and pretend you’re in Roan, pipsqueak.”
I grumbled and mumbled, eyes screwed shut as war waged within me. I shouldn’t and yet… It would go to waste if we didn’t; Aunt Mercy would get it all if I didn’t. Would it really be so bad?
Yes. No. Yes. No. I didn’t know!
I ground my fangs together and snarled before finally sagging in fatigue. “Stars above you’re such a bad influence.” I sighed and reached for my bit bag, blinking when my hoof closed on thin air. A quick glance around revealed a fiendish grin on my aunt’s face as she tossed my bit bag up and down, but before I could even scowl it was tossed back my way and Aunt Mercy put her own bit bag on the counter.
It was a lot smaller than mine, and I squirmed, opening to protest for completely different reasons.
“Look—” Aunt Mercy beat me before I could even get a word out, her brow furrowing as I glanced at her bit pouch again. “—if I treat you and your Dad to it, you two don’t have to twist yourselves in knots over it. I’ve already got my eye on a few jobs in town, and I feel like celebrating moving in with you.” She scowled as I opened my mouth again, and smacked her hoof on the counter hard enough that Mrs. Cake squeaked. “So not one word, soldier. Got it? I’ve been spoiling you since the day you were born, and I’m not stopping just ‘cause I’ve hit a rough patch.”
Looking back at the still sulking Red, she pursed her lips. “Which reminds me…” She bared her fangs in the most dazzling smile at Mrs. Cake. “With that settled, I believe I have our order, Miss. I’ll take all of your mushroom and bacon quiches—three slices for here, the rest to go—a piece of the spanakopita for here, and…” Her eyes roamed the milkshake board. “Oh, score. You actually have bugs, too? That’ll be three Apocalypse Crunches, then, plus a Cherry Pop Berryblast for the little sulker skulking about my shadow.”
Mrs. Cake squeaked again, looking between my newest scowl and Aunt Mercy’s fang-filled smile. The smile—which Aunt Mercy was really, really good at—won, and so the bits were hurriedly counted out before Mrs. Cake booked it back into the kitchen with an extra shakey waddle.
“I’m—” Red gave a big, fake sniffle as he finally looked up with wide round eyes. “—getting a milkshake?”
It wasn’t worth fighting over, was it? I looked at Red and sighed, dropping the glower for a tired smile. “Oh, Aunt Mercy…”
“What? I can’t just spoil the three of us.” She arched her brow at me as she picked her woefully light bit bag back up.
“I said no dessert.”
“And? The milkshakes aren’t for dessert, pipsqueak. We have to wash our gullets with something, don’t we?”
Red and Rolling gave the most delighted little gasps at that, looking at each other with impish grins. I squinted at Aunt Mercy for a good half a minute, then shrugged, flicking the terrible twosome’s ears with my tail.
“Ow!” They echoed each other, ears flapping wildly. “What was that for?!”
“It’s ‘cause I know exactly what you’re thinking, and no, that won’t work on Mom.” Grabbing the bag as Mrs. Cake brought out the ‘to go’ part of our order, I shepherded the little munchkins to a table so the poor mare could handle the next in line, and I dutifully ignored the Pink Demon flaunting her unearthly powers as she blurred ahead of us to set our table seconds after I took the first step towards it.
“What about Dad?” The bounce was back in Red’s step at the newfound promise of sugar in his future—his misery all but forgotten.
“Try it on Dad and you can bet Mom will find out.” Under my breath, I muttered a few of Dad’s favorite words. “Dad likes to brag.”
Both Red and Rolling tilted their heads. “Why does that matter?”
I snorted as we all settled in, the piping hot smell of eggs and bacon spearing into my brain and making me drool a little. “It matters ‘cause we’re his favorite trophies, and he just loves bragging about us. Now let’s dig in before it gets cold.”
The twerps, of course, took that as permission to dive right in and start wolfing their meal down like a starving princess. I wasn’t much better, honestly, after a hard morning's work. And with bacon on the line? Mmmmmm…
The only one who did eat with anything close to decorum was Aunt Mercy, oddly enough, but that was less because of her and more because of Pushing Daisies slowing her down; the little bugger needed food, too, and she was a very needy and greedy baby.
All in all, the twerps and I were done in a flash, and I was left to stare morosely at my empty plate as Rolling desperately licked his for any last speck of bacony goodness. I slurped the last of my milkshake down—tossing it back and delving my tongue deep down to snatch up the dregs—before I let loose my best Dad impression. Rolling and Red giggled like idiots at that, but we all knew there was no beating the champ.
Or so I thought. Aunt Mercy and Pushing seemed ready to give him his money’s worth as my aunt made a game out of it when she finished feeding Pushing.
They were still trading blows as we left and headed for Sweetie’s—right on up until we reached the front door.
One last thundering belch rent the air as I knocked on Sweetie’s door. The twins giggled like loons under moon as Aunt Mercy tried to sunder the very heavens themselves with her cataclysmic powers. Pushing sucked in a breath to once more try—and fail—to top her mother; her adorable face squished and scrunched as she reached for the dregs of her stomach, while her mother smirked and patted her back in encouragement. All that emerged, however, was a small squeak as Pushing pushed the last little bit of gas from her sensitive tummy.
“What a champ, eh?” Aunt Mercy smirked as she kept rubbing her daughter’s back. “Kept up with me all the way here.”
I rolled my eyes even as I smiled. The sound of hoofsteps was fast approaching, and I thanked the Nightmother dearly for the fact that I wouldn’t be chatting with Sweetie as my aunt burped the Lunar Imperial March.
The door opened to Sweetie—radiant as always—beaming cheerily and humming the latest new hip hop tune. Her sparkling smile turned almost blinding as she saw me, and she came in for a hug that probably should have burned with how sunny she was. “Oh my gosh, Night! What a nice surprise! I was just about to head out to meet the girls. You want to join? You were, uh… kinda busy plotting revenge when we asked you before.”
“Kinda busy still taking care of the troops.” I pulled back, shaking my head; I gestured to where Aunt Mercy and the foals were smiling with wide eyes and little halos. “Do you guys have Rarity’s suppressor ring still? The one from when she was a foal? Pushing’s surges are getting worse, and she keeps destroying the nursery.”
“Awww… is somepony just a widdle bundle of twouble?” Sweetie cooed as she sashayed forward to lean in and look Pushing in the eye as the little foal burbled on Aunt Mercy’s back. Her smile continued to dazzle as she hummed and lit her horn, its soft light surrounding Pushing and tickling her into a giggling fit.
“Alright, let’s see, then.” Her horn sparked a bit—eliciting more foalish giggles—and Pushing’s horn sparked in kind. A nearby frog tumbled mid hop as it turned into a fruit-flavored abomination; the twerps instantly pounced on it to further torment it by poking and prodding and licking it. Another spark from Sweetie caused Pushing to sneeze, and I had to leap to catch the little rascal as she appeared in thin air where Sweetie had been.
“Wow!” Sweetie laughed as she untangled herself from the pile of limbs she and Aunt Mercy had made as they’d tumbled to the ground in confusion. “She’s got a gift! I can see why that’d get out of hoof in a cloud house. Come on in and wait in the kitchen. I’ll go see if Mom and Dad kept Rarity’s ring. I know they kept it around for me, just in case.”
“You ever need it?” I gave a few spec ops signals to Aunt Mercy before I went through the door, and she dutifully gathered the twins to take them and move the blast zone away from the house. Her salute was lazy and sloppy with an exasperating amount of insubordination baked right in, but she had obeyed nonetheless, so I merely rolled my eyes.
Sweetie’s house was as poofy and cutesie as ever. Mrs. Cookie Crumble loved her lace and ceramics, and so almost the whole house was stuffed with figurines and doilies. Souvenir plates lined the wall, and shelves were loaded with tea pots and tea cups. A rather disturbing amount of them had little, magically animated kittens on them, and even though they meowed and played and made the most adorable noises, they always made the hair on the nape of my neck stand up.
Afraid or not, I strode through the hall past the many meowing miscreants, relaxing only just as I peeked in Mr. Magnum’s stallion cave to see that the one fortress of daddly-tude in the house was as lace-free as ever. It was just a bit further, and the kitchen was thankfully knickknack-free. Mrs. Crumbles still didn’t trust her plates not to get used in there, and there were more important things to line the walls with—pots, pans, baking sheets and more.
There were almost as many ovens as Sugarcube Corner, all a testament to Mrs. Crumble’s favorite hobby; I nabbed a few cookies from one of several jars on the counter before sitting, just ‘cause I knew she’d be mad if I didn’t. Just the thought of it sent shivers down my spine.
Tartarus hath no fury like a housewife ruling her domain.
I hummed at the taste of cinnamon and sugar as I nibbled away, kicking my legs in my seat as I glanced around. My ears flicked as I traced Sweetie tromping around the house, although it was hard to get an exact position with her constantly bellowing for her parents. There was muffled conversation as she found them, and even more tromping as that led to three sets of hooves moving about rather than one.
The construction noises were a bit more disconcerting, but hay, I’d learned my lesson with Aunt Mercy.
Finally, after what felt like ages, Sweetie trotted back down the stairs to meet me, still beaming if now a bit dusty and sweaty. “Pre—” She gave adorable, squeaky little gasps as she panted. “Pretty sure it’s not in the house, but Rarity might have it! A couple years ago there was this weird bondage and latex fad with the Canterlot nobles, so she borrowed it to get ideas.”
“Of course she did.” I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Pretty much sums up everything wrong with nobles in a nutshell, am I right?”
“Oh?” Sweetie tittered as a smirk flashed out from behind one hoof. “And just who was it the girls and I walked in on, pinning DT with a growl?”
“Th-that’s different!” I blushed black as the Nightmare and hastily looked back and forth, fearful the mere mention of that little incident would summon Dad from the shadows. No sign of any parents—mine or otherwise—but I leaned in to hiss quietly all the same. “Predator-prey play is a totally different thing, and you know it. More importantly, though, that was private. No pony, not even stuffy nobles, should be flaunting that kinda stuff everywhere they go.”
Sweetie tittered harder. “I didn’t say they wore it in public, Night. Geeze.” Flashing another grin, her dimples could have beaten a stallion to death from twenty trots. “She had a much more toned down line for the public stuff. Mostly just latex and faux leather.”
“Wait….” My face scrunched as I recalled one particularly odd Hearth’s Warming in Canterlot. “Was that the year all of Canterlot was really into ‘ponies of the night’?” I made air quotes with my hooves, face souring further as Sweetie nodded. “Sweet milk of Luna, tribalist guano guzzlers, the lot of them.”
Sweetie’s laugh rang light and pure as she batted my shoulder with her hoof. “Maybe you oughta challenge a few to that ritual combat thing, hrmmm?~ Anyways, the girls are waiting on me, so unless you changed your mind about joining us…”
“Nah.” I shook my head and smiled in kind. “Say hi to them for me, though. Maybe give Diamond a hug.”
“Just a hug?” Sweetie pouted. “But what if your princess wants a full-fledged kiss?~”
I slugged Sweetie in the shoulder as gently as I could, but it still made her squeak and wince. “If she wants a kiss, you tell her I’ll be giving her triple tomorrow the instant I see her at school. Doesn’t matter if I have to storm into homeroom late and do it in front of Miss Cheerilee, that filly of mine is getting her knight in shadowed armor.”
“Teeheehee!” Sweetie rubbed her shoulder and rolled it as we walked back towards the door. “I’ll be sure to let her know.”
I stepped outside to find the fruity menace had multiplied. Red and Rolling had been hunting for tributes to their cousin it seemed, and the three of them giggled like loons under moon as the terrible twosome would bring Pushing something other than frogs to twist and warp.
And it wasn’t just fruit.
Banana crickets. Rose petal butterflies. Peach… tarantulas? Where in tartarus did they get hold of a tarantula?
I shook my head. Not important. What was important was the delicious, little abominations were drawing stares. Ponies were edging by, and the Flower Sisters had already fainted nearby; Aunt Mercy was doing little more than helping Miss Roseluck up, only to snicker when she fainted again almost immediately.
The frog from earlier feebly croaked as it crawled away—now back to normal save for the thousand-yard stare and dead, glassy eyes. It briefly looked at me, and I was nearly lost in a gaze that spoke of unending madness. I sighed at the sight of it all and nodded to Sweetie one last time—the mare trying and failing not to join my brothers in tittering like mad.
Sauntering forward and booping each of the three foals on their noses, I schooled my expression. “Alright, alright. That’s enough fun and games, you two. Pushing might hurt herself if you keep going. Unicorn foals don’t really know their limits, remember? Besides, we don’t want her getting it in her head she has to cast to get attention. That’ll get messy and tiring for everypony involved real quick.”
“Aww… but Niiiiiiight…” As both twins leveled weapons-grade pouts at me, Pushing slowed her giggles to look between them. This was quickly followed by her mimicking them, and Nightmother above that face was like a spear to the heart.
I held my ground, though—as all good soldiers do.
Totally didn’t hesitate.
Totally didn’t waver.
And definitely didn’t bite my tongue to avoid showing any signs of weakness. No, I faced the adorable solfire with an unflinching gaze and strode forward without fear of getting burned.
Scooping up Pushing, I only grumbled a little as I returned her to Aunt Mercy; unsurprisingly, my aunt was as impish as ever, shamelessly booping my snoot like I was the one acting foalish. I rolled my eyes at her, and swatted her hoof away with my wing as she tried again, moving back to drag the twerps away from their horde of eldritch monstrosities.
“Alright, troops.” I kept my pace measured and almost marching—back straight, hooves firm, and maybe just a bit of non-regulation sway to my hips. “Sweetie didn’t have what we were looking for, but she said her sister might. We’re going to head for the boutique and pray to the Nightmother that Princess Twilight isn’t there getting a fitting.”
Red gasped from my back and tried to climb up my head in protest. “What? Why?! Princess Twilight is best princess, Night!”
“Debatable.” I snorted without rolling or rearing my head, the faintest hint of a smile on my face. “But it’s less about the princess and more about the escort she’ll have. We’re trying to get this all taken care of without dragging Mom and Dad in, okay?”
“Hmph!” With a huff, Red buzzed his wings and stuck his tongue out. “Fine… but if you’re praying to Princess Luna for Princess Twilight not to be there, I’m gonna pray to Princess Twilight for her to be there!” He puffed out his chest and preened. “And since Princess Twilight beats Princess Luna, I win! She’s more pretty and powerful and smart, and she could totally do everything Princess Luna does if she wanted! I mean, her special talent’s magic! Isn’t that awesome?! She can cast anything! Luna just does dream magic, so she’s…”
If one had squinted, they might have seen my miniscule eye roll, but I let Red carry on as we walked. Much better that he squeal like a fanfilly than plot nefarious schemes or pick my nose.
Aunt Mercy chuckled as she sashayed beside me with a predatory grace. Her wings rustled as she glanced me over with a smirk even more insubordinate than Scoots’ or Rumble’s, and when she finally made her move it was in whispers too soft for the trailing Rolling to hear and too high for Red to catch.
“Sooooo… that friend of yours was pretty cute. You ever lay a few clicks on that pretty, white flank? I bet the echo is fantastic.”
“Screep!” My practiced poise was shattered with a sudden and embarassing face plant as I tripped and blushed a deep, burning black. “Oh my gosh, Auntie, really?!”
For her part, my Aunt merely cackled. “Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t resist. Seriously, though, I’m curious now. A little bit of looking is healthy, you know? You’re not gonna just glide through life staring at nothing but your hooves when other mares are around, are you?”
I snorted and unjumbled myself from a dazed and dizzy Red. “What do you think I am? A wimp? I’m no longer the shy little filly who could barely stomach the thought of colts and cooties, you know.”
“Screeheehee?” Aunt Mercy tittered and hid her smirk behind one hoof. “So you do look?”
“No.” I shook my head as I put Red back on my back and continued soldiering on towards Rarity’s. “I just don’t see the need to when I already have the prettiest princess at the ball.”
“Hrmmm…” Aunt Mercy squinted at me before chuckling and rolling her eyes. “Well, I guess you can’t take after your father in everything. Maybe it’s just ‘cause you’re still coasting on puppy dog love.”
“Excuse me?” Arching my brow, I turned to look at my Aunt. The boutique was woefully far up the road—close enough to see, but yet so far as to only invite despair.
“You heard me.” Aunt Mercy snickered and rustled her wings, ducking as I tried to thwap her with a wing. “Hey! Don’t get mad at me! That’s what it is! She’s your first crush for Luna’s sake! You think you can learn everything you can about love from just one pony?”
“I can learn enough.”
“Didn’t say you couldn’t.” With a shrug, my aunt looked off towards home. “I learned more just crushing on your dad than I did with the literal sea of coltfriends I had during and before him.”
I shivered and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Can you not? Please?”
There was a brief, pregnant pause as we inched ever closer to the boutique on the horizon. “Sorry….” Looking at my aunt, her ears were splayed back and her cocky grin was gone. “I didn’t mean it like that. I keep your letters, you know…. Reread them and stuff? Diamond does sound like a good mare; I just don’t see you two beating the odds, though.”
“The odds of what?” I bristled.
“Life.” Aunt Mercy shrugged. “Can’t learn without making mistakes.” There was a ghost of a grin. “I’ve made more than most and I still haven’t completely learned. Can you blame me for being a little worried with how perfect you make things sound sometimes?”
Finally, with glacial slowness, the boutique was just one block away, so I quickened my pace to pull ahead before I could even start to wonder if Aunt Mercy had a point. “I’m not having this discussion with you. Not now. Not ever.”
Aunt Mercy sighed as she shrugged in acceptance, though a devilish smirk broke across her face as she yelled after me in a perfectly normal pitch everypony could hear. “Have it your way, pipsqueak! You need any advice for going between the sheets, though, and I’m your mare.”
Well, that did it. “Screep!” My resolve shattered as I broke into a canter and routed, dashing through the door to the boutique and almost slamming it shut. My coat was on fire as I fanned myself with my wings, dancing from hoof to hoof.
“Wheeee!” A little hoof smacked at my flank. “Giddy up! Giddy up! Do it again, Night!” Red bounced on my back, somehow ignoring the fire.
From somewhere outside, the witch’s cackle grew louder. “That’s what she said!”
“Nightmother above, why me?” I moaned, rustling my wings to get them under control. “Can’t she just settle for torturing Dad?”
“Pffft! The lunkhead’s got thicker skin than when I first met him.” The jingle of the door sounded again as Aunt Mercy followed me in with Rolling peeking out from between her hooves. “You, on the other hoof?” She smirked. “You’ve still got some of your innocence for me to ruin~”
“Welcome to Carousel Boutique! Where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique!” And there was my savior of the hour, waltzing into the room with grace and nobility rather than my aunt’s cocky assurance. “I do apologize for the wait, but— Oh! Nightingale! I’m afraid Sweetie isn’t here this weekend if you’re looking for her.” Rarity tilted her head as she took in Aunt Mercy with a little, frowning tsk and a tilt of her head. The frown was gone in an instant, though, as she saw my aunt… looking around the store?
It was my turn to tilt my head, ear flicking at Aunt Mercy’s critical hums.
“Or are you here on business, perhaps?” With a smile as radiant as her sister’s, Rarity tossed her mane back and fluttered her lashes. “As a friend of the family, I’m happy to give you and yours a discount if you need anything.”
I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck as I glanced over the many mannequines and the girly, frou-frou nightmares they wore. “Well, we are here on business, Miss Rarity, but we’re not exactly looking for any dresses.” Nodding to my aunt and the burbling filly on her back, I flashed a smile at the fashionista. “This is my Aunt Mercy and her little filly Pushing Daisies.”
“Ah, yes!” Her titter was like tinkling silver bells as Rarity moved about to touch things up here and there even as we talked. The room was immaculate as it was, but she still somehow found work to do. “Sweetie mentioned some other family members had moved in with you, dear! I was wondering when I’d get to work my magic on them! I suppose knowing you and your father, I’ll be making some more dress uniforms?”
Aunt Mercy immediately perked up a little. “I’m more than fine with dresses, actually, but I suppose I wouldn’t say no to a nice uniform.” She smirked. “Most of the dresses here don’t seem like my style. I prefer something a bit more—” She licked her lips. “—predatory. I’m not some poofy pink princess; I’m a hunter, through and through.”
Pursing her lips, Rarity looked my aunt up and down, eyes lingering on Aunt Mercy’s chest, wings, and flank. “Hrmmm… yes… you do have the sort of majestic form befitting a lion or a tiger. Most of my normal wares just will not do—” With a gesture to the surrounding dresses, she harrumphed. “—much less all the lace and frills that are currently in season. Come, come! Let me fetch you something far more fetching!”
I opened my mouth to protest only to shut it as Aunt Mercy was caught in the iron grip of the stitch witch and pulled towards the back with a screep. I had to round up the twins and follow quickly, because the terrible twosome was whispering with that look—Red grinning like a blimp full of imps, Rolling just sorta shiftily looking about ‘cause he knows but doesn’t wanna snitch. The two were thick as thieves and I could not afford these dresses, so shepherding them into the back it was.
I plopped them down by the majestic and mega-sized block set Miss Rarity kept for just such troublesome youngsters, and the twins took one look at the magnificent palace the previous foals had built before storming it like they were hungry ursa majors. There was a yelp from inside the fort as it collapsed, and when the dust settled, a gangly little colt of about three levitated all of the blocks around in a whirling little swarm as he glared at the twerps.
Radiant white and tough, hardboiled payne just like his mother, little Elusive tossed back his perfectly cut, wavy mane and squeaked out a battle cry before he started pelting my brothers mercilessly. A single, lady-like cough immediately made him pause and look at his mother, and when she sniffed and arched an eyebrow at him, he squeaked again and started pelting my brothers again in a remarkably coordinated assault that sheperdaded the three of them into yet another room.
“There we go.” Miss Rarity nodded in approval as the last block followed in a mystical aura. “Really, Nightingale, your brothers can be such brutes. It doesn’t take that much discipline to raise a gentlecolt, does it?”
Aunt Mercy had stopped her feeble struggles to watch; she now whistled most approvingly. “Nightmother above, and here I thought you were just a prissy noble wannabe. Maybe I oughta be looking at you for lessons rather than Morning.”
“Hey!” I snorted and frowned. “Mom’s still awesome! She’s just a bit more… lax with Red and Rolling. I’m still the best dang soldier you’ll find from here to the frozen north!”
“Diligent in all things, stoic when need be, strong yet caring, and an ego starting to match her father’s, how handsome!” Rarity tittered as she levitated several measuring tapes to start wrapping Aunt Mercy up like a mummy. “So many mares do swoon over just the right amount of swagger. Careful with that confidence, though, or you might just get burned.”
Aunt Mercy snickered only to bite her lip as the stitch witch pricked her as the price for daring to move. “Tempered— Screep! Son of a— Screep! Ah! The sun-blasted lug always did like flying straight for the sun.”
“So I’ve seen.” I giggled as Rarity deftly pinched my aunt’s jaws closed with a snap when the next prick made her hiss. “Uh… Miss Rarity, I know you’re probably excited about making a new dress, but we really aren’t here for one and neither of us can afford it.” I ducked as a pin cushion whooshed past me in a fit of inspiration—Aunt Mercy already buried in even more layers of fabric as her mummification continued. “We’re, uh… actually here to see about borrowing the suppression ring you had as a foal?”
The swirling storm of needles, thread, scissors, and ribbon paused for a moment as Rarity blinked and looked at me. “Really?”
I nodded.
“Hrmmm…” Rarity tapped her chin with one hoof. “Oh, well… guess I’m doing yet another freebie. Your aunt just has such a lovely color combination; she can pay me with a bit of part time modelling.” With a school filly giggle, the seamstress bounced from one hoof to another with dainty, little clip-clops. “Ruby eyes and a raven black mane?~ My, oh my, you are just perfect for modelling some of my more… private lines~”
Aunt Mercy—mouth half open and head reared back as she readied a scathing hiss—paused to narrow her eyes and give a sultry, half-lidded smirk. “Oooooooooh? Your private wares, hrmmmm?~ Now that is an interesting offer. What’s the pay like, and would I be able to keep whatever you have me model?”
Rarity hummed and pulled a paper calculator out of one of several drawers scattered about. A roll of paper soon followed from a different drawer on the other side of the room, and it clicked neatly into place as Rarity continued to scrutinize Aunt Mercy. She barely looked at the device as the little keys click-clacked in rapid succession, only arching a brow at it as she tore the paper off to finally examine it.
“Well… I normally do include outfits worn as part of the salary, but my private lines are a bit of a special case. I’ve been reluctant to do that ever since one of my previous models had the gaul to go selling my priceless gifts for extra bits.” Rarity’s sniff was haughty enough to behead a filthy commoner at fifty paces. “As if I don’t take extra care to reward my models well. I don’t cheat my models out of their hard work like some designers; I make sure they receive their fair share.”
“Oh, I have no intention of selling them, dear.” Aunt Mercy’s grin was hungrier than the sun as her fangs flashed and she licked her lips. “I’ve had more money than I knew what to do with before, didn’t much care for it. I spend my money on worthwhile things, Miss Rarity, and let me tell you, if your lingerie is just as sharp as your dresses, then I’d almost be more than happy just to be paid in outfits.”
My aunt tsked. “In fact, I’m rather sorry I didn’t look into your lines sooner. You have a much better eye for color than Hoity Toity or Prim Hemline.” She gestured at the dress; a dark mishmash of sable night and various irons, the skirt came in two layers—an outer simple cloth sheet that was cut to leave little to the imagination, and a complex inner layer of interwoven belts and buckles that had been spaced to show off plenty of leg. Nightmare black garters graced each leg with silken smoothness, and the chest piece was a sinful looking corset pretending to be a sweater vest to a rich iron shirt with a v-neck.
It was exactly the sort of dress I hated most—undeniably gorgeous even to me, and yet something I could never, ever wear.
“I mean, really—” Aunt Mercy ran a hoof down the iron shirt. “—you managed to whip this up in less than an hour from scraps, and I didn’t even need to tell you to use burgundy rather than merlot. Most designers slip under such time constraints.”
“Oh darling, you don’t know the half of—” Both Rarity’s and my ears flicked in unison, the two of us blinking, mouths slightly agape as Aunt Mercy continued admiring the dress.
“I’m sorry, but what did you just say?” Rarity tilted her head. “Forgive me if I misheard, but it sounded like you just said burgundy? I thought all thestrals were, ummm… that is to say…”
“Colorblind?” Aunt Mercy snorted. “We are, but what sort of snobby, pureblooded noble is going to let a weakness as inconvenient as that stop them? Fashion is a weapon for the nobility, and my mothers made sure I was well-versed in discerning colors as they should be.” Even rolling her eyes, I could see a ghost of a smile hiding in her frown. “I got lots of lessons most folks would consider useless, but at least I liked looking sharp. Fashion was like, the one thing I could talk with my mothers about.”
Shaking her head, my aunt threw back her head cackling gleefully. “Screeheeheehee! So yes, I’m more than fine being your model, Rarity. I may even be able to help here or there. I’ve been told more than once I’ve got a good eye. All I want out of it is some nice clothes I can flaunt about.” She winked at the seamstress with an evil and predatory grin. “And I have just the ponies in mind to flaunt them to, too, so give me your best shot and I’ll spread word of you far and wide.”
Rarity’s titters did not help my blush as she fluttered her eyelashes and all but pranced as she continued making little adjustments to the dress. “Oh, you and I are going to just be the best of friends, darling.”
My aunt’s grin grew even as I groaned and buried my head in my hooves. “Awww… come on, pipsqueak. Get your mind out of the gutter. For all you know, I was talking about dear old daddy-dead-to-me. He’s gonna bucking hate seeing me like that so much! I’m gonna send him copies just to see if I can hear him cursing me from here.”
“We both know that’s not who you’re talking about,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes. “Still, a job’s a job, I guess. Don’t think a single part-time job is gonna be enough to pull your weight. You wanna impress Dad? Do that.”
“Oh, to be young and innocent~” Aunt Mercy chuckled. “A bit of lingerie is more than enough to turn most stallions’ heads—” She winked. “—both of them.”
“Dad is different, and you know it.” I barely felt the heat creeping up my neck as I had to fight the urge to bare my fangs in a snarl; I growled, low and dangerous, hackles raised, wings flared.
“Pfffft! I know that!” My aunt rolled her eyes with an impish grin. “Come on, what are you, twelve? You should be able to take a little joke.” The intensive eyebrow waggling was the only warning I got, and covering my ears did little to help me. “Besides, the only way your dad is gonna see anything is if your mom gives it a test run first.”
I stumbled at the sudden image that flashed through my head at the thought of Mom and Aunt Mercy testing… things. My head spun; my stomach churned; my deliciously sinful lunch almost tried to climb its way back out my throat.
“Ewwwwwwwwwww….” I gave a pitiful and squeaky whine, waving away the fainting couch Rarity had pulled from the aether for me. “I really didn’t need that image in my head.”
“Ahem… I do beg your pardon, ladies, but is there something I’m missing here?” Rarity’s brow was arched higher than I’d ever seen on anypony before.
“I… Ummm… We… Uhhhh…” This time I did accept the fainting couch, even if all I did was sit. “How to even explain?” I shivered and looked to Aunt Mercy with my ears splayed back; she rolled her eyes and waved me dismissively towards the door Red and Rolling had gone through like I was some sort of foal.
“Geeze, you really are such a day dweller about some things. Go and check on your brothers, Night—” As if on cue, there was a crash and coltish shouting from somewhere else in the boutique. “—I’ll explain things here. Nightmother knows I’ve got enough practice at it.”
I gulped some air and shook my head as I fought down my blush. “Eeeeeurgh… please do. I’m having a hard enough time processing it myself. Just…” I sighed, knowing it’d be of little help. “...try not to give the town the wrong idea? Once Miss Rarity learns, all of Ponyville is gonna know by moonrise.”
There was a harrumph as I rose to move towards the door. “Well, I never!”
“Don’t worry, kiddo.” Aunt Mercy’s grin was less than reassuring. “I know all the tricks in the book. Just go grab a juice box or something, and your old Aunt Mercy will take care of everything.”
I sighed as I pushed into a room of utter chaos. “Sweet milk of Luna! This is going to get worse before it gets better, isn’t it?”
“There.” I sighed and slipped the suppressor ring over Pushing’s horn. The little menace burbled and giggled merrily as the magic keeping Rarity’s mannequines waltzing about the room dispersed, and they fell to the floor in a heap. “Thank you, Miss Rarity.”
“Oh, no problem at all.” The fashionista tittered as she picked up her mannequines one by one to twirl them back in place with a hum. “You’ve got such a darling little princess, Mercy. I must say, it’s simply marvelous to see such elegance at a young age.”
“Well, her father was the former heir to his house.” My aunt smirked for a second before her face melted into a wistful smile. “He was… too noble for his own damn good.”
“He sounds like a good stallion.” Rarity gave the dresses on her mannequines little touch-ups with them back in place, carefully examining each one while pointedly avoiding looking at Aunt Mercy.
“He was.” Aunt Mercy sniffed and covered it up as a snort, a smirk, and a lewd hoof gesture that had me checking that the twins were still good and distracted building blocks with Elusive as we prepared to leave. “Good in the only way that really matters.”
Rarity rolled her eyes and similarly hid her giggle with an affronted snort. “Now, now. No need to be crass. You can spill all those secrets later when we hit the spa—you know, like a proper lady.”
“Screeheehee! I’ve run from being a proper lady all my life.” Aunt Mercy cackled as she puffed out her chest and flared her wings. “What makes you think I’ll be any less crass at the spa?”
Arching her brow, Rarity simply stared. “Darling, you don’t understand. You act like I don’t want every lurid, little detail; you are a walking, talking trashy romance novel, and I adore trashy romance. Teehee! Oh, we are just going to be the best of friends!~”
Oh, sweet milk of Luna… I couldn’t help it. I rolled my eyes and ushered the twins towards the door. “Careful you don’t give her ideas, Miss Rarity. She’s already going after Mom and Dad. No need to make it even more trashy.”
“Oooooh, I didn’t think of that~” Rarity’s laugh was the tinkling titter of a mad mare hopped up on smile dip. “But no, no… you’re absolutely right. I’d much rather see things continue as they are—maybe even help her out a little.”
Discord damn it all. That was almost worse.
Almost…
At least I didn’t need to worry about Sweetie Belle becoming my aunt.
“Besides, I’m already taken.” Stars above, Rarity was still going? Please stop, please stop, please stop.
“The good ones always are.” No! Bad Aunt Mercy!
I groaned and stopped at the door, burying my head in my hooves and taking a deep breath. Looking up, both Rarity and Aunt Mercy were grinning at me like sharks, so I scowled at them and pouted hard. “Stop it. It isn’t funny.”
Miss Rarity had the decency to look away with a light blush—unlike Aunt Mercy. “Yes, well, this is why such gossip and jokes are for the spa. What happens at the spa, stays at the spa, no matter what you may think, Nightingale. Gossip I may be, but the entire town would probably die from embarrassment if I told half the secrets I actually know.”
“Oh! Oh!” Red hopped up and down, waving his hoof from beneath my wing. “So you know all the secrets? I wanna know where Pushing came from! Did Aunt Mercy really plant a bunch of daisy seeds and grow her like Daddy said? That doesn’t make any sense! She’d have a bunch of sisters if there was that much seed!”
“I… Ummm… Huaaa.. Huhh?” Vengeance was sweet as Rarity burned black as the Nightmare. She floundered hard under the onslaught, face darkening more and more. “I’d just love to share that little secret with you, but I really must start Elusive’s bath, see?” She gestured to the sparklingly radiant colt still playing with blocks. “Absolutely filthy!”
“Huh?” The well-mannered colt blinked and looked down at himself. “Nuh-uh!”
“Yah-huh!” Rarity gave a nervous laugh as she reached out to rustle and ruin his carefully coiffed and wavy mane.
“Ahhhhh! Mom! Fashion emergency! Fashion emergency!” It really said a lot about Rarity that her three-year-old had heard those words enough to not stumble over them.
“See? Fashion emergency! And I’ll be so very busy even after it’s handled so if you could just show yourselves out! Ta-ta, now! Bye!~” Rarity was gone in a flash of white, leaving me to grumble a few bad dad words as Red and Rolling took that as a cue to look up at me expectantly.
“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” I sighed as we left the boutique to start walking home. “You won’t have clearance for that information for another few years at least.”
“I mean, if your Dad starts feeling frisky they might find out sooner~” Aunt Mercy’s smirk was as smug as a slug. “Screep!”
“Don’t you start again.” I muttered as she dodged under my wing. “It’s time we get home and clean up the nursery. We only got enough time for one more shot.”
“Pffft! Fine, but don’t blame me if I turn it up to eleven when your Dad gets home. Gonna have to make up for lost time. Screeheeheeheehee!” Ducking under another swing, my aunt pranced away grinning like a loon under moon.
“Whatever.” Taking a second to rub the bridge of my snoot, I sighed once more as I gathered up the pups and readied for take off.
“Awwww, cheer up, Night!” Both the little buggers hugged my neck hard enough to briefly choke me. “We’ll help you rebuild your room! Right, Red?”
“Yeah!” Red vibrated a little as he buzzed his wings. “We can’t finish that fight between Smitey McSmiterson and the Moony Maiden ‘til everything’s all fixed!”
Smiling ruefully, I shook my head and leapt for the sky. “You should be helping ‘cause it’s the right thing to do, doofuses, not ‘cause you wanna play games with my stuff.”
“But Night!” Rolling pouted hard enough to make me wince as I turned toward home, forcing me to correct the angle of my approach. “I wanna help! Red’s just being a dum-dum!”
“Hey! You wanted to finish, too!”
“I also wanna help!”
“And who says I don’t?”
“You, dum-dum!”
“Well, I do wanna help, so there! Who’s the dum-dum now, dum-dum?!”
Banking around the long way, I resisted the urge to roll the squabbling squawkers off and to their doom, instead staying level and taking slow, steady turns to hit the chimney thermals from Sugarcube corner a few times until we were high enough to finish the trip with little more than a glide, but instead of landing at the door to let the twins in, I brought us straight up to the nursery and dumped them in the clouds.
“Ten-hut!” I stomped a hoof and the remains of the nursery crackled, but the troublesome twerps kept bickering, taking their sweet time getting their heads out of the clouds.
“Ten-hut!” I tried again and they paused this time, ears twitching as they looked at me with my rockhard salute. Then they giggled and I sighed, giving that particular lesson up for now. “Look, guys. Just get in line with Aunt Mercy, alright?”
My aunt’s salute was surprisingly crisp, though it did little to inspire the twerps to action.
“Okay?” Rolling tilted his head as he looked around. “We aren’t gonna have to sit here and watch you two work, are we?”
“What?!” Red was instantly in front of me, pouting. “That’ll be so boring. Why are you being mean! We offered to help clean your room!”
“Can’t clean my room until we’re sure the nursery won’t collapse on me again.” I nodded at the scattered ruins and geese feathers. “So you might as well start up here. If I’m giving Aunt Mercy weather lessons, I may as well give you two a lesson, too. You can’t be worse than she is, after all.”
“No way!”
“Really?!”
“So cool!”
“I wanna learn to make lightning!”
“Hey!” Aunt Mercy barked out a laugh and let her stance go slack. “Are you saying I’m worse than a pair of untrained pups?”
“As a matter of fact…” I smirked as Aunt Mercy stuck out her tongue and flipped the frog at me. “Oi. None of that. We all know you’ve got a lot of bad habits to unlearn if you’re gonna live in the clouds with us day dwellers.”
Settling down on my haunches, I gestured Red and Rolling forward, digging a bit of floof from the floor to dangle in front of them. “Alright, you two, I want you to tell me the difference between this and the floor.” I let go of the cloud so it floated before them and nosed it closer when they both hesitated. “Go on. Give it a look. I know you two figured out that much. You wouldn’t be getting in trouble for making stuff if you didn’t know how to see.”
Red’s feathers sort of vibrated a little as he edged closer, little breath-sized breezes and bits of air haphazardly being strewn about as he squinted at the cloud puff and poked the floor. “It’s… floofier.” He beamed as I nodded.
“Yes, yes it is. Do either of you know why?” I looked to Rolling, who was squirming, tufted ears flapping wildly as he clicked like mad. Chuckling, I just ruffled his mane. “And stop trying so hard; listening to weather doesn’t work like that, Rolling. You need to relax, and just try to feel it.”
“But it’s so hard,” Rolling pouted with a shrill, squeaky whine. “I barely feel anything. Why doesn’t it echo back?”
“It’s not supposed to echo well. It’s cloud.” I let out a few clicks of my own, the sound merely scattering into the open sky. “Inside the house is a bit different, but that’s ‘cause you, me, and Dad can pack the walls with bits of shadow. Trust me, looking for echoes isn’t gonna help here.” Shaking my head, I lowered my head to make eye contact as he shrank and squirmed, booping his snoot with my hoof and knocking his shades slightly askew. “You gotta listen like Red listens. It’s gonna be quieter for you—you aren’t a pegasus—but I know you can do it.”
Noogying him again, I managed to get a giggle out of the little guy. “Think of it like hunting. You gotta be quiet and patient.”
Squirming away from me, Rolling circled about the little puff frowning. Red was pulling on my leg and waving right in my face to answer the still unanswered question I’d asked, but a look from me got him smiling sheepishly and settling back down. His wings twitched in impatience, though, and—
“It’s not part of the house!” Red beamed even as his shout made Rolling flinch.
That was fast.
“No, actually.” I hummed as I turned my glower back on. “But give your brother a chance and I’ll get to why it’s ‘floofier.’”
“Whaaaaaaat?! But I’m totally right! What else could it be?!” Puffing his chest out and flaring his wings, Red stomped forwards.
“It could be a lot of things.” Scooping up another cloud puff, I set it before him. “Does this one feel poofy?”
“Ummm… N-no?” Red deflated and fell to his haunches with a pout. “Why doesn’t it feel poofy?!”
“I don’t know.” I smiled softly as he scowled ferocidorably. “You tell me.”
“You— You— You cheated or something! Did something to it!” With a stomp, Red made the teeniest crackle of thunder and immediately turned to look his hooves over, ire forgotten. “Ah! How did I do that?!”
“You cheated, of course.” Nightmother above, messing with them was fun. No wonder Mom had been the one teaching me even after she finished teaching Dad.
“But… I… Wha…” Red’s face squinched deep in thought as I confuzzled him, letting me check on Rolling once more. He was still focusing with silent but deadly determination, inching closer and closer to the cloud. His head was low; his waggling butt was high, and I snerked at seeing him take the hunter analogy to heart.
It was working, though. His ears were swiveling not towards the sounds of Ponyville but towards the cloud and its many many secrets.
“It is floofier,” he whispered with hushed awe as he finally looked back up at me.
“And why is that?” I couldn’t make my smile as dad-ly as Dad’s, but I tried.
“It… umm…” Rolling looked down at his hooves. “You made it like that?”
“Sort of.” My nod was enough to snap Red out of his thoughts.
“So you did cheat!” He pointed accusingly.
“No, ya little bugger.” Aunt Mercy broke her not-so-silent snickering to laugh. “Cheating would be if I did it for her. Your sister is just working clouds like any other pegasus or thestral.”
“But how?!” The twerps’ double whine made me laugh so hard I accidentally inhaled one of the cloud puffs.
“The secret’s in why the puff is floofier.” Patting my chest, I coughed up what was left of the puff, still laughing, and scooped another up for them to study. “Come on, guys. You got this. You managed a glide today, after all.”
“But… that made you mad.” Red tilted his head at me, little wings buzzing. “You wanted to punish me!”
“Mad? Of course I was mad, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t proud.” Shaking my head, I grinned like a loon under moon. “I disciplined you for being reckless, featherbrain, not because you managed a glide, and this is about the best I can reward you guys with because of it. I’m not gonna give you extra dessert for putting yourself in danger.”
“Oh…” Red fell back on his little haunches at that.
“Does that… mean I gotta glide now?” Rolling tilted his head.
“Oh my—” Hoof met face. “No, Rolling. You don’t. I’m giving you the lesson, aren’t I? Just… think about it, you two. Poke at the clouds if need be.”
They poked; they prodded; they raspberried, but little progress was made. My smile was ruined as I bit my lip, and the little twerps were just getting angstier and more frustrated every time they gave a wrong answer. I didn’t wanna just tell them, but…
Why did I think I could do this, again? Mom would have been so much better. Maybe I should just take them in, and—
Wait. Was that construction noise again?
“Oi! Pipsqueaks! Watch!” Aunt Mercy smirked as the twins and I looked over. She had gone from watching to cloud gathering and had two big piles of clouds in front of her. “‘Floofy.’” She gestured to one and bucked it, the clouds dissipating so finely there wasn’t even mist left. “‘Not-floofy.’” This one broke apart into big chunks as she bucked it, and Red and Rolling clapped with glee before running forward to investigate.
Poking at the clouds, Red nosed one and sneezed, the little puff completely evaporating as it took the brunt of his blast. “Night! Aunt Mercy lied! All this cloud is super floofy!”
“It is now.” With a nod and a smirk, Aunt Mercy gathered the puffs up and put them back together. “See?”
Rolling poked at the cloud, face squinching and ears flicking. “It’s not floofy now! Is… Is…” My face brightened as I saw the little gears turning. “Is floofiness better for bucking? The floofy clouds just go poof!” He fell back on his haunches, waving his forehooves wide.
“Took ya long enough.” Aunt Mercy smirked at me and my hackles rose. “Maybe somepony needs teaching lessons~”
“Hey!” I blushed black, wings rustling as my aunt laughed.
“But yeah, twerps. Floofier clouds are like floofier mares. Better for bucking, smashing, and turning into your little toys.”
“What?!” I wasn’t sure if Red, Rolling, or I shouted louder, though I was the only one not doing so excitedly. Both twins pranced forward asking all kinds of questions, while I shook my head and stormed up to my aunt with a growl. “And I’m the one who needs lessons? Aunt Mercy!”
“I call ‘em like I see ‘em.” She shrugged and smirked, eyebrows waggling with dangerous intensity. “Besides, I’m not wrong.”
“They don’t need to know that!” I hissed, gesturing to the twins, who had quickly moved on from questions the instant it was clear we weren’t answering them. All kinds of puffballs—floofy and not—had been scooped from the floor to leave it looking like swiss cheese as they experimented with bucking and floofifying and failing to make any lightning.
“See?” she laughed. “They’ve already forgotten. Cut me some slack. I got them to figure it out without just giving them the answer, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but—”
“Night, Night, look!” Red interrupted us by running over to drag me to a huge cloud they’d made out of the holes in the floor. “Not floofy!” He and Rolling set their hooves on the cloud and scrunched their faces. “Aaaaaaaand floofy!”
I smiled as they both bucked it apart, even if it vaporized a decent bit of my ceiling to do it. “Good job, you two.” I ruffled their manes. “You’re ready to help now, alright? Before now you’ve just sorta been trying whatever and it sorta comes out anywhere from lightning to rain to hail, right?”
“Yuh-huh!” They both threatened to nod their heads off as they shook affirmatively.
“Well, that ‘floofiness’ is pretty much how you control any weather magic using clouds. Different kinds of floofy do different things, okay?” I nodded to the ruined nursery around us. “For now, though, Aunt Mercy and I need to round up some new clouds to use for construction, and I need you two to start making the clouds we bring in the same kinda floofy that the rest of the house is, alright? Don’t patch any holes yourselves, though. The house clouds are enchanted with a bunch of stuff, and you can’t just shove new clouds in there without causing a mess.”
“Is that why everything was going so wrong before?” Aunt Mercy arched her brow at me.
“Partly.” I blushed a nice, rich, delicious iron. “Didn’t think of it, then, but it’s not like I teach this stuff for a living, alright?!”
“Sheesh. Calm down, pipsqueak.” Aunt Mercy gently waved me down. “I’m not mad or anything. I still suck at this stuff in general. Kinda surprised my floofy example didn’t explode in lightning and hail.”
“Teehee! Teach us, Auntie! Teach us!” Red giggled and clapped his hooves. “I wanna do that!”
“I would if I could.” Aunt Mercy had the most guanoguzzling grin on her face. “But sadly, I have no idea how I do it. Your sister’s teaching me, though!”
“Huuuuuuuuuh!” Red’s sharp little inhale was more than enough to signal the oncoming storm.
“They’re coming! They’re coming!” Red and Rolling ran into my room just as I was putting the finishing touches on it.
No battlefield yet, but all my other stuff was sorted and accounted for. I had my posters hung and my shelves lined: my bed was a bit bigger, but I’d been meaning to do that for a while. Most importantly, I’d managed to find all the minis, ‘cause those were bucking expensive.
I groaned and stretched, cricking my neck and glancing to the ceiling. One quick flap, and I poked my head through to check that everything was still in place. “You hear that?”
“Yeah, I heard.” Aunt Mercy rose from near the crib with a smirk to saunter over and noogie my head back down. “Now stop messing up all our hard work.”
“Screeheehee!” I giggled as I fell back into my room, and Aunt Mercy sealed the hole behind me. The front door opened, and I could hear Mom and Dad laughing as Red and Rolling charged them. When I sauntered out to join them, I did so with an extra cocky sway to my hips. Mom and Dad were by the entrance playing with the twerps, but they looked up to smile at me as I made my way over.
“You’re looking smug as a slug right now, champ,” Dad rumbled as he stopped flying Rolling through the air on one hoof to set him on his back. His eyes and fangs glinted as he grinned at me, arching his brow as he looked me over. “Diamond come over for some help with biology again?”
“I wish.” It was a testament of resolve that I only blushed a little as I kept moving forward. “I got stuck foalsitting four foals instead of just two all day.”
Dad’s brow arched further, though it was Mom who spoke with a frown as she put Red down and took off her helm. “Oh dear… Your aunt didn’t cause too much trouble, did she?”
“Nah.” My grin grew as I waved them off. “She just sucks flank at doing anything weather related, and somepony—” I waggled my brow at Dad. “—keeps having her rebuild the nursery. Had to give her some lessons after she trashed my room.”
“Oi, fotze!” There was a shout from above. “I thought we agreed you’d leave that part out!”
“We fixed it, didn’t we?” I shot back with a smirk.
She hadn’t, of course; I said I wasn’t gonna let her touch my room with a ten-hand pole, and I hadn’t, but Mom and Dad didn’t need to know that. She did good today when push came to shove. I smiled a little more sheepishly as I looked back at Mom and Dad. “I had to give her some lessons, but we got everything ready before you got back. Wanna see?”
“Why do I feel like you aren’t giving us the whole story still?” Both Mom and Dad arched their brows at me, but while Dad was grinning like a loon under moon, Mom was frowning pensively.
“She’s not,” Dad chuckled as he stepped up to slug my shoulder. “You are a terrible liar, kiddo. For one thing, you don’t even let me touch your room anymore, and you worship the caves I creep in.”
“I… uhhh…” Squirming beneath their combined gazes, I licked my lips. “Okay, maybe there were a few other hiccups, but me and Aunt Mercy managed to muddle through.”
I waited for the axe to fall, but no reprimands came my way. Looking up, Dad was still grinning, and though Mom was still frowning, her gaze was off towards the nursery as she pursed her lips.
“Well?” Dad waggled his brow. “You gonna show us all your hard work or not?”
“Not just hers!” Red hopped up and down on Mom’s back, wings buzzing furiously. “We helped, too! Me and Rolling! We learned how to make things floofy!”
“Floofy?” Mom smiled and turned her head to nuzzle him. “Is that what she called it?”
“Yeah! Cause it feels all floofy and poofy and makes clouds go fwoooosh!” Red reared back as he spread his hooves wide.
“I would have gone with ‘fluffiness’ myself,” Mom giggled. “Floofiness works just as well, though.”
“Po-ta-to, po-tah-to! You lot coming or what?!” Aunt Mercy’s shadow reared up from the ground to tug the immovable wall that was Dad. “Screeheehee! Come on, already! We’ve got more than a few surprises waiting for you~”
Her shadow popped out of existence as I led everypony through the house and up into the lion’s den. The door was first to stand out as the frame was a smooth, curvy and playful hourglass shape. The door itself had Pushing’s name inscribed upon it, as well as a small picture of a mound of daisies.
“Ta-da~” Smiling, I pushed into the room with a wink.
At first glance, it was little more than one would expect—a crib, a toy chest, some hoof-me-down foal’s toys that had just been sitting in the attic—but a closer look would reveal that we’d molded the walls into a series of pictures and stories. It turned out that Red had a bit of a knack for it, and while it hadn’t gotten him a cutie mark, he and Rolling had had a blast decorating the walls as Aunt Mercy and I took care of the furniture and the toys.
“Made for foals by foals.” I smirked and ruffled Red’s head as he preened from his perch atop Mom.
“Awww… how adorable!” Mom giggled and added to my noogy by nuzzling Red simultaneously. “Looks like we might have an artist in the family!”
“If you think that’s adorable, then check out this.” Aunt Mercy gestured to the headboard of the crib. She’d been watching Pushing sleep with a smile as we came in, and that smile had only grown as we looked about. “This one was all mine.”
The cloud crib was carefully anchored to the floor to make sure all the enchantments from the house stuck with it—including the cloudwalking spell. The bars were whimsically spiralling spires, while the headboards had been molded much like the walls. Two stallions reared back to back over the little unicorn foal, standing silent vigil over their daugh— charge.
The looming thestral with his wings spread wide was so obviously Dad I could see it despite my aunt’s… unique art skills, and Dad smiled, reaching out toward it as he saw. The other was a unicorn, horn lit up with magical swirls carved into the crib around him, and it was there Aunt Mercy reached with a wilting smile.
She allowed herself a single solitary sniff as Mom and Dad both leaned into her. “Thinking about getting a good, solid wood one when I can—something she can see and appreciate when she’s older. But, yeah!” Quick as it wilted, Aunt Mercy’s smirk was back. “Now she’s got both her fathers watching over her while she sleeps!”
Mom and Dad shared a brief momentary look over Aunt Mercy’s shoulder as they embraced her, silently communing as all good parents can. Exasperated, worried, smiling softly with a nod, their faces ran the gauntlet, but at the end of it all they stayed by Aunt Mercy’s side to hold her.
Dad in particular, seemed almost afraid she would break if he squeezed his wing too tight, but his smile was warm as he leaned down to nuzzle my aunt. “You know, I remember a time when doing something like this again and again would have had you out the door and flying off on some new adventure. It’s nice to see you trying. Still can’t say where this’ll all end up going, but…”
Mom hummed and joined him. “But whatever happens, we’ll be here to help you all the way.”
Grin cocked with enough smugness for a flock of cocks and their dick swinging contest, I sauntered down the road to my marefriend’s house in full battle dress. My armor was polished until it gleamed with little stars, while my coat and mane had been scoured with the best shampoo and conditioner Diamond could buy. I was smooth as spider’s silk, baby soft, and hot as the motherbucking sun.
Up the driveway and to the door, I didn’t even get a chance to knock before Mr. Rich opened the door to dad me with his eyebrow.
“I thought I felt you walking up.” He had a cool and stern glower as he appraised me. “Very few ponies swagger like that.”
Even with a slight blush, I held my ground. “Very few ponies can claim to be dating a pony as beautiful as your daughter, sir.”
“True.” A ghost of a smile flitted across Mr. Rich’s face. “Except there is only one pony as beautiful as my little gemstone. I’ll go fetch her, shall I? Last I checked, she was still busy fretting over which ear shadow to use or something.”
“They make ear shadow now, sir?” Tilting my head, I flicked one ear.
“I wouldn’t know.” Shrugging, he turned to go inside, waving me into the foyer. “Do I look like I wear makeup?”
“Only when duty demands, sir.” My grin was back as I followed him in.
“Yes, well, I don’t know about you, but duty never demands for me. Now, wait here.” Mr. Rich trotted up the stairs to enter the labyrinth proper. Even a single click down the halls in front of me and to each side brought back a confusing mishmash of echoes. Turn after turn after turn, her mansion may be huge on the outside, but it seemed even bigger on the inside.
A good ten minutes passed as I waited, but that was why I’d shown up early—for Diamond’s sake. Stars above, that filly of mine was beautiful, but her prep time rivaled that of the entirety of Sapphire Shores’ troupe combined. She was no doubt rushing the last of it now that I was here, and—
“Hello, Night.”
—if time is what it took to make my mare look like that, then the junior guard had taught me well. ‘Hurry up and wait.’
Diamond sashayed out into the foyer and down the stairs, my heart dropping dead as she smote me with raw, pure beauty greater than the Nightmother herself. She giggled as my jaw dropped just as it always did, and my wings rustled violently as she moved to rub against me with a purr. If I was smooth as silk, she was as soft as moonlight, and the feel of her curves was enough to flush me Nightmare black.
“Wow….” My smirk was back in a flash, and I leaned into the contact to rub her back. Moving in for a nuzzle and kiss, she was the one to shiver as I chastely pecked her lips.
“Pretty sure that’s my line, handsome~” Diamond grinned as she pulled back, tail swishing as she eyed me like a hungry griffon about to pounce. “I feel underdressed with you all kitted out in your armor.”
“Yeah, well, I got my first night shadowing the guard after we have our date.” With a sheepish grin, I scratched the back of my head. “Trust me, if I was taking you somewhere super fancy, I’d give you a lot more warning.”
“Hrmmm… so you’re shadowing what? The local detachment? The Dawn Guard?”
“No~” My grin turned smug as a slug as I waggled my brow at Diamond. “As it turns out, you may not be underdressed, but I do have a surprise for you, Princess~” With a deep bow, I gestured my radiant star towards the door. “Our carriage awaits~”
Right on cue, the driver knocked on the door, and I sauntered over to open it and reveal him grinning like a loon under moon in a suit that was stretching slightly at the seams. “Carriage for two?”
I raised an eyebrow at the Uberbat. “Really, Dad?”
“Yes.”
“Where’s the actual driver?”
“Enjoying his night off.”
Rolling my eyes, I snorted and ignored Diamond’s giggles. “Mom’s gonna kill you for this.”
“And?” Dad’s grin grew wider. “It’ll totally be worth it.”
“We were going to meet at the hotel anyways!”
“Yes, but this way I get to have fun eavesdropping.” His grin didn’t even flicker—face straight as an arrow as he shamelessly admitted his crimes.
“Daaaaaad!” My ears splayed back as I whined, Diamond’s giggles turning into full-on laughter. “Don’t ruin this!”
“I think it’s wonderful.” Diamond’s gaze traced over the ornate carriage. Rich ebony wood and silver filigree made our ride an elegant, if not royal affair. The wheels were large, circular and filled with narrow spokes, while horn-carved stairs ascended to a windowed door with shades for privacy. The inside was cushioned with soft velvet seats perfect for cuddling, and I had even ordered some blankets and hot chocolate for us to share, knowing the air would get chilly up in Canterlot this time of year.
“Relax.” Dad waved a hoof. “Carriage is sound-proofed, anyways. You two are gonna be free to do whatever you want.”
“Anything?” Diamond’s teeth gleamed almost predatorily as she grinned, and she sashayed up to me to grab my hoof and walk me to the carriage.
“Don’t you start.” I thwapped her rump with a wing as I tried to put my game face back on, the two of us squeezing into the carriage and closing the door on Dad.
Outta sight. Outta mind. Just be cool and— Nightmother above, her lips are soft.
“Five years and you still sometimes squirm~” The kiss was over far too soon, and she daintily settled down to pat the seat next to her. I rolled my eyes and swooped in to start cuddling her, but the carriage jolted to a start and instead of nestling up against her, I fell atop her. Diamond just laughed as I blushed, her head craning up to kiss me again, and that was all the encouragement I needed to stay for a while. Time seemed to stop as we melted in each other's hooves, and I barely let Diamond pull her head back to gasp for breath before I dragged her back in with a growl.
“Squirming one minute, strong and confident the next. I never do know which one I prefer~” Diamond giggled breathily as she pulled back again, and this time I allowed her to catch her breath as I shifted a bit to better wrap my hooves and wings around her.
Screw the blankets. Blankets were like straws—for wimps.
Pulling the thermos from the fridge normally reserved for champagne, I grinned as Diamond shivered from the chill mountain air, and I poured her a cup we could nurse together. She fit me better than my armor as she snuggled close, her head nuzzling up into the crook of my neck and the top of her head resting under my chin.
“Have I ever told you just how lucky I am?” Diamond purred from beneath me, sipping at our hot chocolate as we peeked out of the window to watch Canterlot wind ever closer. Circling the mountain again and again in the sunset, the spires of the castle gleamed as they poked between several fiery clouds all ablaze with the hungry sun’s dying light.
“You have.” I squeezed her and chuckled. “On more than one occassion. Some might call it boasting.” I nipped her ear even as she elbowed me. “Why are you lucky this time, Princess?”
“I’m lucky to have a marefriend as large as an ursa,” Diamond tittered, her tail swishing side to side and tickling me. “She has this wonderful, warm, shaggy coat and these elephant wings that make the perfect blankets; she’s like a big, old, giant teddy bear.”
“I’d prefer to be a grizzly bear.” With a rumbling growl, I squeezed her tight again.
Diamond laughed and squeezed my forelegs back. “Too bad. You’re the knight. I’m the princess, and by my decree you are the perfect teddy bear.”
“Bears are known to eat ponies when hungry enough. Don’t make me prove my point~”
“Oh? Prove your point how? I dare you to carry through on that, Dame Nightingale~” Confronting me with the most sinfully tempting fluttering of eyes, Diamond pouted at me with enough force to send my heart racing faster than a falling star. My face burned as I squirmed, and I murmured something unintelligible even to me as I curled tight around Diamond.
“That’s what I thought.” She flicked me with her tail and tittered, content with cuddling in silence until we finally rose high enough to coast over the city.
“Diamond, I—”
“Don’t apologize for something I’ve already said is fine.”
“But I—”
“I am fine with nothing but cuddles and kisses and snuggles.” Diamond shifted in my grip to turn away from the window, looking up at me and only me as we coasted over the city. “Seriously, how many colts and fillies do you think are actually getting any at school?”
“Scoots and Rumble—” I squirmed as she pecked my lips.
“—are as wild as they’ve always been. They don’t count.”
“Button and Sweetie—” There she went again. Why must her lips be so temptingly soft?
“—are in the same boat we are. Only action Sweetie gets is when she rolls for persuasion.”
“You want more, though.” It was a statement, not a question, as I frowned at her.
“I also want to be an alicorn princess.” My marefriend tweaked my nose with a smile. “And unlike that particular dream, I know getting my knight in shadowed armor is possible, so don’t apologize. I wasn’t even serious, not with your Dad right outside.”
“You… weren’t?” I blinked.
“Night, there are few ponies more capable of making you squirm like a five year old, cootie-infested filly other than your parents.” Diamond deadpanned as she poked my chest. “I’m not stupid enough to expect any real moves from you whenever your parents are in a two mile radius of us. Just like how you’re not stupid enough to make a move on me while we’re setting hoof on Daddy’s mansion. In fact, your parents are even spookier than my dad, cause I don’t know how they know. How many times has your dad ‘accidentally’ shown up on our dates with a camera?”
“More than either of us know.” I blushed. “I’m too afraid to open up the newest scrap books and find out.”
“Exactly.” Diamond patted my chest. “So don’t worry about it. If it ever becomes an issue, I’ll tell you and we’ll talk about it.”
“And by talk, you mean you’ll throw yourself at me.” I couldn’t help but smirk.
“What can I say?” She smirked right back. “I get what I want, even if I’ve gotta take it~”
“Why, Princess, that sounds almost downright criminal~” Nuzzling my marefriend, I inhaled the scent of her perfume and squeezed her tight.
“You know your princess has a spotted past.” With a laugh, Diamond turned to look back out the window. “Mmmm… It’s too bad the carriage ride has to end. Any other surprises for me, my knight?”
“Dinner and a stroll through the park.” I kissed the back of her head and nibbled an ear as I watched Dad take his sweet time to coast over the city and circle the spires of Canterlot Castle. The lamps in the streets were flickering to life with the moonrise, and we watched the streets below as ponies trotted about on their business.
With a jolt, we landed back on the street, and the rickety sound of wooden wheels on cobblestone filled the cabin as Dad landed to take us down the old town streets. Grungy, little houses passed on each side, smoke rising from their teeny-tiny chimneys, and the sorts of ponies we passed were much more… down to earth than the ponies around the castle.
It was probably not the sort of place Mr. Rich had in mind when I told him I was taking his daughter on a carriage ride through Canterlot, but Canterlot was Canterlot was Canterlot—even the slums were dainty. It might look rough, but the ponies who lived here didn’t have a bad bone in their bodies, and there was more chance of getting mugged in the noble district where thieves sometimes went on holiday to make it rich.
The slums didn’t have money or good looks, but they did have heart and more importantly they had food. The smells currently assaulting my nose put Restaurant Row to shame. They beat their way into my brain, and mugged me of all thought and reason. Strong zebra spices, foreign kirin teas, and pungent minotaur cheeses were but a small slice of the aromas wafting over from the main market place.
As we passed a shady looking alley—well hidden from the gaze of passing daydwellers—my nostrils flared at the salty smack of hippogriff fish and the rich iron tang of bloody griffon meats. I licked my chops at the scent, almost shivering at how fresh it smelled.
We weren’t even near the ocean! How?!
The carriage carried on, however, old scents swiftly replaced with new ones and I grinned as Diamond stirred beneath me. Her nose twitched in time with mine as I finally got a whiff of our destination—the smell of rising dough and bubbling cheese punching its way through the already overwhelming sea of aromas—and we both couldn’t help but moan at the heavenly scent of pizza incarnate.
“Pulling out all the stops, aren’t you, Night?” Diamond blushed from her rather unladylike reaction, slugging me in the shoulder as she laughed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I nipped her ear in retaliation as I chuckled. “No trip to Canterlot is complete without a trip to the Greasy Wheel.”
The restaurant was a small, unassuming wood and brick dive with barely room for a dozen ponies to fit around the four ancient looking tables. Eight more could squeeze in at the bar, though a glance through the kitchen door revealed enough brick ovens to feed a small legion as delivery pegasi and thestrals constantly flew in and out the back.
The dangling lights flickered as we entered, and I grinned at seeing my favorite grease stain still spotting the ceiling from when Dad and I had first brought Silver Fang. Poor colt had gotten spooked by Fat Gastone, and banged his head on the tray so hard the pizza had stuck to the ceiling.
“Buon giorno!” My voice filled the tiny space and then some, easily drowning out the bell and startling the old buzzard himself from his book behind the bar.
The big bird himself was as round as ever, easily earning his name with how he jiggled with every merry little move. He was a good-natured griffon who would chuckle at even the worst of jokes, and that often left him laughing so much that one would be hard-pressed to think of a time when his jowls were ever still. Even reading alone behind the bar, chuckle after chuckle had left his belly struggling to catch up with his mirth.
“Night, Night! Che piacere vederti!” It wouldn’t surprise me if Gastone set off a few richter scales as he stood tall to waddle around the corner and squeeze the stuffing out of me. “It has been far too long, Stellina! I see you brought your darling, little Principessa this time.”
“It’s date night, and I’m stuck shadowing the guard in a couple hours.” I chuckled as I hugged the big lug back. “Figured I’d pay for a carriage, fly her up, see the sights. You know, the works.”
“Ah, and no date is complete without the best of meals, no?” The griffon slapped my back and I nearly stumbled from the sheer amount of weight behind it. “Come, come! Let ol’ Fat Gastone roll out the reddest of carpets for you! For you, Stellina, I would even soak it in the blood of your enemies!”
“Excuse me, but I’d rather not ruin my hooficure, thank you very much.”
I snorted out a laugh as Diamond deadpanned harder than a skillet to the face. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary, Fat. Night Guard still your biggest customers?” With a grin, I followed our host to the corner table and pulled out a seat for Diamond. She tittered and pecked my cheek before sitting with grace, and I sauntered over to my own seat as Fat went to grab some things from behind the bar.
“Oh, they are more than mere customers, Stellina. They are the blood and soul of this restaurant by this point.” He gestured around the sleazy, grease-stained room as he pulled out an iron-colored tablecloth and several candelabras. “I woulda been forced to sell out long, long ago if not for the steady stream of late-night deliveries. Instead, I managed to put five chicks through school and save enough to retire years early. Just been waiting to make sure I’ve got a good replacement.”
As his chuckles intensified, so did the earthshaking jiggles. “A shame the business wasn’t in my blood, but Full Moon is as good as family, so good I mostly manage the bar at this point.”
Glancing at the one other thestral silently enjoying a slice in the gloom of the other corner, I arched my brow. “Is that so? Well, you better give me and my mare the real deal tonight. We came for an authentic Greasy Wheel.”
“Now, now. The lad’s on track to be a far greater chef than I.” Gastone belted out a booming laugh as he tossed the table cloth over our table. “Those booty doodles let you little ponies cheat!” Puffing his chest out, he bowed. “As you asked, however, I would be most glad to prepare yours myself!” A box of matches was pulled from one of his massive apron’s many pockets to light the candles, and a pair of menus was placed before us as he beamed. “I eagerly await your decision.”
Picking up the menu, I looked it over before peeking up to glance at Diamond. She was chewing her lip as she looked down, face scrunched in the most adorable way, and while I could see the resemblance between her and her wicked mother, on her there was always this… softness? Elegance?
She truly was the fairest in all the land.
Her wavy mane hung just so, while her hooficure sparkled and shined even after touching the grungy, grease-stained rug. From head to hoof, she held herself with true nobility; she deserved that dainty tiara crowning her head.
“You know, if you’re hungry for something else, we can always go someplace else~” Diamond looked up too fast for me to react, smirking as she saw my face flush with heat. “You don’t seem interested in the menu. Any idea what you want?”
“I… Uhh…” I swallowed, hard. “I was thinking we could maybe get a medium deep dish with tofu and mushrooms?”
Diamond frowned as she arched her brow and leaned forward. “Really, Night? You hate tofu.”
Shaking my head, I smirked. “But you love it. I’m tough. I can take it— Hey! What was that for?!”
“For being a chivalrous, masochistic, pig.” Diamond slugged my shoulder again. “How many times do I need to tell you to not be stupid like that?”
“It’s not stupid; it’s heroic.” Grinning at the mare across from me, I closed the distance to peck her on the cheek. “But fine, you got a better idea?”
Diamond’s grin was almost wicked as she sat back. “Pepperoni and mushrooms. Oh! No, better! We’ll get ‘The Works’!”
“Uhhhh… Diamond?” I coughed.
“Shush.” She booped my snoot. “I know darn well this place serves meat-lovers first. We’re gonna ask for half vegetarian, and it’ll all be mixed up so neither of us know who’s getting what. I don’t know when I’m—” Her cheeks puffed out a bit as she gagged. “—eating pork, and you won’t know when you’re breaking your sacred, batty traditions.”
Smiling with a grin broad enough to split my head, I reached my hoof out to hold hers, entwining our tails beneath the table. “Has anypony ever told you that you’re a devious and evil witch?”
“I try.” Fluttering her eyes as she tittered, Diamond grinned right back as she took our tails and gently brushed my flank. “Usually, I’m just called a bi—”
“Ohohohoho! Two lovebirds ready to take flight; I am guessing you two are ready, then? Or would you care for some more time to decide?” Gastone chuckled and winked as Diamond pouted at him. “Do not worry, Principessa, I am merely getting the order out of the way to give you two the privacy you deserve. Once placed, there won’t be another word from this bird.”
“Mrgmrff… fine.” Diamond’s scowl was more adorable than anything as she set down the menu to glare up at the griffon four times her weight. “We’ll take a medium deep-dish pie with ‘The Works.’ Make half of the pepperoni and sausage vegetarian, but spread it all out evenly if that makes sense?”
Gastone’s chuckles actually stopped as he arched his brow. “You plan on eating the meat, signora?”
“I’ve eaten at Night’s more than enough to get used to eating insects.” Diamond gave a small yet haughty sniff as she delicately raised her nose a fraction of an inch. “I’m sure I can handle a bit of pork.”
Fat blinked bemusedly for a moment or two before turning to me with a full belly-shaking laugh and a clap to the back so powerful I let out a screep and nearly fell out of my chair. “You keep this one, Stellina! Haha! She’s a rare, rare catch!” He grinned down at me as he scribbled on his notepad. “What kind of vegetarian pepperoni and sausage would you prefer? We have two types—one tofu-based, one not. I seem to recall you hating tofu, so—”
“Tofu will be fine.” My smile wasn’t quite wide enough to hide my grimace. “Diamond loves the stuff.”
Diamond rolled her eyes, but didn’t object beyond snapping our still entwined tails against my flank with a teeny-tiny whip crack.
“And the pepperoni and sausage itself, then?” Gastone nodded, still dutifully scribbling away. “I have the usual thestral substitute, of course—only the freshest of sago grubs—but I do keep the real stuff on talon for myself and any special occasions.”
“Give us the real deal.” Diamond spoke before I could even open my mouth. “Tonight’s a big step for her, after all.”
“As you wish! Now, I shall make tonight a date to remember for the both of you!” Ruffling his feathers and giving a faux salute so fake and corny it made me roll my eyes, Fat waddled off to squeeze through the kitchen door with a pop.
“He didn’t ask about drinks.” I arched my brow. “Should we be worried?”
“About what?” Diamond tapped a hoof on the table as she smiled across it at me. One of her hind legs stretched beneath the table to casually pet my flank, while her tail tightened its grip on mine.
“Dunno.” I shrugged and made sure to keep my breathing steady and measured. “I just feel like I’m forgetting some— Ah, horseapples. I forgot to order something for Dad.”
“Compliments of the house~”
I looked to the kitchen door as Gaston came back through, and caught the briefest glimpse of a familiar fanged grin. My mouth paused as I opened it to order for Dad, and it closed as Gastone swept down on us with a pair of crystal goblets far too pristine to be in a dive like this. Two bottles—one white wine, one rich, iron bloodwine—were popped, breathed, poured, and set in a bucket of ice. My nose twitched at the sweet and sticky fragrance, not the most expensive, but still a bit of a splurge.
The bottles were followed by a small bowl of delicate white cubes mixed with darker swirls, and while I was loath to step into Dad’s trap, Gastone was already gone. I picked up a single cube and licked my lips as I brought it closer, nostrils flaring as I caught the scent of cinnamon. Popping it in my mouth, I nearly choked in surprise as the taste of salt and sugar was added to the mix, and I quickly coughed it back up into my hooves to glare at the kitchen door.
“It would seem your dad has not forgotten you.” Diamond giggled as she picked up a cube to daintily sniff and lick it. The small shiver it sent down her spine sent a similar shiver down mine, and I forced myself to relax and enjoy the sinful little present.
“At least it’s not a whole salt block.” There would be time for retribution later, when I told Mom and she took him to the ring. Well, unless telling her got me in trouble? It was never a good idea to get salted before duty.
“It’s a pretty good mix, actually. Better than the stuff we get at the parties back home.”
“Diamond, dear, I love you, but if you could not bring up Apple Bloom’s barn raves right now?”
“Awww, what’s the matter? Afraid the guard is gonna walk in and hear your dark and shady past?” Sometimes my marefriend’s smirks were legit scary.
“Well… yes, actually.” I rubbed the back of my head grinning sheepishly.
“Then shut up and kiss me.” She leaned forward, eyelashes fluttering. The leg beneath the table turned its caressing up to eleven; her tail seemed tartarus-bent on pulling me under the table, and I could hear both our hearts racing as she toyed with me.
Between her and my dad, I was done being played for the night, and I growled as I reached out to pull her across the table to me for a long, tongue-filled kiss. She melted against me as I all but sucked her face off, and I left her winded and gasping for breath.
“You mean like that?” I rumbled, half-scowling, half-smirking, and the smirk only grew as my marefriend mewled incoherently. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“Damn, Fang. Why don’t you kiss me like that?”
I turned to the door, brow arching as I opened my mouth to tell the latest interlopers to bugger off, but paused when I saw who was standing in the doorway. “Echo? Fang?”
“In the flesh, screeheehee! Fancy meeting you here, old friend.”
Multiple thoughts raced through my head at the sight of my old friends, but the biggest, loudest, and stupidest of them all charged straight forward like some sun-loving paladin with a death wish.
“Dad didn’t send you, did he?”
My ears splayed back as Diamond facehooved beside me, and I looked to her. “What? It’s a valid question with how the rest of the night’s been going!”
Echo and Fang both shared a look before my BBB shook her head with a smile. “Mr. Mettle? Ask us to what, spy on you? Screehee! Now that’s a silly thought. Nah. Fang was just taking me on a date before he went to work.”
“Work?” I blinked and looked both of them over at the admission. It was… eerily similar to our own situation.
Echo’s coat was smooth, glossy, and meticulously cared for. Her hooves were trimmed and sparkly, and her mane and tail bounced with life that only hundred-bit shampoo could give. Though hard to see with her wings folded, various patterns and symbols adorned them with black paint only used on the most special of special occasions. Deep iron lipstick popped and accented her gleaming fangs and the silver earrings studding her ears.
Meanwhile, Fang had filled out considerably from the little spargeltarzan I’d left in Canterlot. His frame was razor sharp and wired with lean, rippling muscles; his eyes glinted as he grinned like the cheeky backpfeifengesicht he was. That said, he certainly knew how to wear his armor, and those stripes on his shoulder… He was a corporal? Already?
That… That didn’t make any sense….
“Work….” I had to bite my lip again. Staring at the stripes was incredibly hard to resist. “You’re already in the guard? I know we haven’t been writing as much with how busy last year was for all of us, but when did this happen?”
“Niiiiiight…” Diamond’s pout could have felled a whole platoon at fifty paces. Her hindleg was back to scandalously caressing my own, and I bit my lip, tail flicking side to side.
“Sorry, Diamond. Just gimme a sec.”
“Silly goof.” Slugging me with a titter, the pout was gone as fast as it appeared. “If you wanna talk, by all means talk, but that means inviting them to sit with us and making this a double date~” She scooched her chair around the tiny table to almost smash into my side, and I was suddenly incredibly aware of how soft her coat was as she sidled up against me. “You think you can handle that?~”
I… Ummm… Uahhhhh… Gosh, it was back to feeling like a furnace as not one but three shark-like grins surrounded me. Still, I’d told myself I was done being pushed around for the night, and I wasn’t gonna back down on that now.
“Sure.” I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could with a flaming face flushed as dark as the Nightmare herself. “You two are totally getting your own pizza, though.” All three of them blinked in surprise, but Echo quickly covered it with a giggle as she dragged her coltfriend over to grab some chairs and join us.
It was… cramped, to say the least, and Diamond was doing her best to make things even more torturous in some sick, twisted sense of punishment. She had nosed her way up under my wing to curl around me like an anaconda; hooves clutching me tight, she played me like a fiddle as she and Echo eyed each other over. Echo was similarly clinging to Silver Fang—who was far more relaxed than me. The two mares must have found whatever they were looking for because they both nodded at almost the exact same time before they tittered and snuggled into the crooks of our necks.
“So, it occurs to me that Night hasn’t said it yet, so I will.” Diamond purred as she layered me in enough tree sap and cuddles to rival our old crusades. “It’s lovely to see you two again. It’s been what? Two years since she brought me up for Eweigenacht?”
“Almost.” My ears flattened. “I don’t get up here nearly often enough. I should have more time to visit this year, though…. Well, as long as I don’t spend all my time shadowing units to join.” Making eye contact and looking like I was paying attention was incredibly hard to do with Echo sitting there in front of us and nuzzling Fang like there was no tomorrow.
“Ah. So that’s what you’re doing?” Fang smirked and puffed out his chest, his wing pulling Echo closer. “I’m already in the guard. Just got promoted actually. It’s why we’re out tonight, isn’t it?~” He briefly leaned down to nuzzle Echo back, and she giggled before settling in a contented hum against him.
“After all that trouble last year, he decided to just drop his final year and join over the summer.” Even as she rested, Echo’s eyes went back to looking us both over. She grinned languidly, and laughed as Silver nipped her ear over all the unspeakable things that were probably happening beneath the table.
Hoofsies, tail-holding, maybe even… petting. They could be doing anything.
“Screehee! Dad was so mad, he actually kicked Fang out of the house.” Echo gave a wicked smile as she tugged at her colt friend’s stripes. “But he made it through boot camp and lived at the barracks, and with this promotion we’re grabbing ourselves a cozy little cave on the edge of the Undercity. Great acoustics, lots of nearby stone, it’s gonna be a great place to start up my sculpting studio.”
“Wow… That’s… That’s great!” I beamed and fought down shivers as Diamond committed her own heinous crimes: using all my training for the guard to get the better of her, I kept my face straight and managed not to twitch every time her tail tickled me. “Isn’t your dad pissed about you moving out, though?”
“Pfffft! Pissed?!” Silver snorted. “Nah. As long as she finishes school, he’s fine with it. Says it’s his comeuppance for kicking me out. He did threaten to beat the snot out of me if I didn’t use proper protection both on and off the job, though.” His grin grew cocky, and he swooped down to peck Echo on the lips, squeezing her with his wing. “It’s… been real nice. Having a job is a lot less of a hassle than going to school for me. I actually feel like I’m doing something.”
“Hrmmm…” Even as I nodded, my smile tried to turn into a frown. Kissing Diamond would have been a good distraction to stop that, except as I turned to do so I caught sight of her frowning pensively with an adorable little pout.
“It’ll be just a few more—” Before I could ask Diamond what was wrong, Fat Gastone burst from the kitchen—belly quaking—to pause at the sight of our table’s newest add ons. “Porca vacca! I knew I was forgetting something else!” The doors would have slammed closed behind Gastone if he hadn’t gotten momentarily stuck as he retreated back through the doors, swearing up a rather colorful storm all the while.
“Seems he forgot to start my order.” Silver chuckled and shook his head. “And here I called way ahead of time. Lemme guess. He saw Night here and got all teary-eyed for one of his long lost, little stars?”
“Maybe…” I rustled my wings a bit, squirming as he smirked at me.
There was a flurry of earthshaking movement from the kitchen, and the table was left quivering with an extra iron-colored vintage probably expensive enough to have cost Silver Fang a week’s wages.
“Gotta say, I’m real impressed, Diamond.” With a grin and a toast, he saluted us. “Last we met, Night was just the most adorably flustered little thing. I’m impressed you’ve got her doing full sentences.”
“Teehee! I wish I could take all the credit… so I think I will!” Diamond clinked her own glass back, not even missing a beat over the toast. Her frown was mostly gone, though there was still a bit of tightness to her smile that most ponies wouldn’t notice. “I’m glad you and Echo seem to have taken my advice, though.”
Wait… What? I blinked. What advice?
“Mhmm.” Silver’s smirk could beat out the smuggest of slugs. “Finding what we wanted was definitely the biggest step. That still going well on your front?”
“Eh?” Diamond shrugged. “There’s been a few teeny-tiny hiccups, but nothing too big yet. Are you sure the Canterlot Guard is what you want, though? Night seems to think it’d be a mistake for her.”
“Echo’s dad asked the same thing.” Silver hummed as he sipped at his drink. “And yeah, it isn’t the most glamorous post, but somepony’s gotta do it. I’d rather be here than off in the middle of nowhere, far away from Echo.”
Echo giggled and nuzzled her coltfriend from below. “I told him to go tour for a bit, and that I’d be here waiting, but nope, he applied straight for the Canterlot Guard. Didn’t even try for the Undercity.”
Sheepishly smiling, Silver Fang rubbed the back of his head. “I know what’s important, Echo…. Though, I might put in for a transfer now that we’re moving down.”
“Well, that’s absolutely wonderful for both of you.” Diamond giggled and clutched me a little too closely. It was starting to get a little hard to breathe the more she constricted around me.
“Yeah.” I barely managed to squeak out as Diamond slowly crushed my chiseled body into dust. She had to have still been working out despite leaving the Junior Guard, because I was— “Screep!” I was starting to feel her ‘hug’ in my bones as she had some sort of silent competition with Echo. I had no idea how Fang wasn’t sweating bullets as Echo gave him some of the most advanced nuzzling I’d ever seen. “I don’t really know where I’m going myself. I got a lot of replies back—some of which I didn’t even apply to—so I have a lot of shadowing to do this year. I did get accepted to Hollow Shades, though!”
Quickly shoving Diamond under me, I bent over her as both Echo and Fang did a spit take and tumbled in a knot of limbs from their chairs.
“You got accepted where?!” Silver Fang laughed like a loon under moon as he slowly got himself off the rather sticky and grime-coated floor. He’d kept Echo from ruining her coat much like I’d protected Diamond’s, but her landing atop him had driven the breath from his lungs, making his laugh wheezy and weak. “Hollow Shades takes about as many foreigners as Die Heimat. How the buck did you manage that?!”
“Hey, come on! It’s not that impossible to get in!” I huffed, but was unable to cross my hooves with my Diamond-studded accessory. “You just gotta be really, really, really, really good.”
“Which you are.” Diamond chuckled from beside me, pecking my cheek only to make a face at the taste of sinfully expensive sanguine delights.
“Yes, I am.” With a grumbling growl, I picked up my napkin to start wiping myself down. “But I still didn’t expect them to say yes. No matter how much I wanna go and pick there right off the bat, even I know that choice will have its issues. I mean, you got cold hooves just thinking about Canterlot, Fang. Rangers sometimes go more than half a year without contact out there. They are the hardest of hardcore, and I hear they custom-built their training regimine to match.”
“Don’t you have an uncle in the Rangers out there, Night?” Echo pulled her coltfriend up, and he wavered for a second as he finally managed to stop laughing uncontrollably.
“Yeah, my uncle Spirit Chaser.” I nodded as I looked at all the wasted blood with a grimace before gingerly setting my now stained napkin on the table. “It takes… a very long time to get in if you don’t start out a local, so if I don’t go there now, I might never get a chance to again. It kinda sucks, because I know it’s definitely going to be the best option for getting promoted to the Lunar Guard as fast as possible, but honestly some of the other places I applied to look really great.”
“Hrmmm…” Something about Silver’s nod and hum made me frown as he brushed himself off and sat back down. “So Lunar Guard is still your end goal, huh? You know… it takes a lot to get invited into one of the Princess’s Guards. Even as good as you are, Night, it might take you years to get there. Didn’t it take your Mom and Dad, what, ten-ish years?”
“Yeah, something like that.” I snorted. “It would’ve been less if they hadn’t started out in Canterlot. I’m prepared for what it takes.”
His lack of response was not encouraging.
“What? You think I can’t make it?” I glowered as I leaned in, Diamond pulling me back from any further advancing with insistent tugging and a nuzzle.
“No, no!” Silver Fang waved his hooves. “It’s not that. It’s just… Even if you manage to do it faster, it’s still going to take a long time. Maybe you should enjoy the journey rather than push for the destination?”
“Who are you, my Dad?” I rolled my eyes even as I relaxed a little. “Look, I do plan on enjoying it. I plan on going about it just like Dad. There’s a lot of interesting places I can tour. Plenty of adventures to be had.”
“But what about—“ Fang hissed as two solid thuds rattled the table slightly.
Both Echo and Diamond fluttered their eyelashes innocently, as they sipped their drinks with a demure smile. I was inclined to peg it on Echo with her being Fang’s marefriend and all, but Discord damn it all, Diamond was using that face she used every time she had to get me to shut up.
In the end, I just shook my head and dropped it. Either way, the mare is always right. Pushing the topic was just gonna get me kicked instead.
“So, anyways…” I glanced about the pizzeria biting my lip. “I really am sorry about not visiting more. Maybe Diamond and I can start coming up for double dates?”
“Perhaps.” Silver chuckled a bit more warmly and what little tension had remained slowly melted away. “Maybe Echo and I can take you to one of the Undercity raves. I hear they’re beyond wild.”
“Buon appetito!” With an audible thud, Fat Gastone appeared to set one of the other tables beside us. A satisfying clang heralded the tray in his other talon, the pizza atop it just bubbling and oozing in all the right ways.
I licked my lips at the sight, stomach audibly growling as the smell made my nostrils flare. Before anypony else could even react, I’d sized up my prey, taken a slice with the biggest piece of action, and bit straight down into that sinful pepperoni good—
“Oh, eww…” My content hum died in my throat. “Of course, the best looking piece of meat is just freaking tofu.”
“That’s what you get for eating before the other pizza gets here.” Diamond swatted me. “It’s rude.”
“Hey, you’ll hear no complaints from us.” Both Echo and Silver raised their hooves. “A greasy wheel is always best served piping hot.”
“True that.” With a nod, I shamelessly continued enjoying slice after slice. Cheese trailed between my prey and me—the ooey gooey goodness just bleeding from every new wound.
Everything continued on in companionable silence after that. Fang and Echo were content to cuddle in escalatingly scandalous ways, Diamond pressed into my side and occasionally nibbled me rather than her pizza, and cube after cube of sweet, salty delight slowly disappeared from Dad’s little present to leave me with a pleasant buzz and an even healthier appetite.
And of course that ‘healthier appetite’ meant I was drinking a little more of the bloodwine than I probably should, but hay, Silver and Echo were drinking theirs, so why shouldn’t I drink mine? It was just as sweet and sticky as it smelled, with a rich metallic tang that came from fresh lifeblood. It was both amazing and offsetting the difference of where the blood was harvested from could make, and this was arterial material.
I felt heady, powerful, confident I could do any and everything.
And maybe I could.
When the second pizza arrived, I transitioned smoothly into stealing the spotlight from Silver and Echo, making Diamond squeak in surprise as I kissed her long and hard without a moment's blush. The tables more than turned as I growled sweet nothings in her ear, and my tail tugged at her as I slid a massive wing around her. Pulling her close to me, I could feel her body burning up as she blushed a rich delicious black, and as I nuzzled my way down to her neck she burned even darker as I playfully snuck in a nibble and used my wing to shield the briefest tracing of fangs.
Revenge was sweet and pure, and by the time Echo and Fang had finished eating, Diamond may as well have been a melted pile of mewling pony goo. It was absolutely adorable; no wonder she liked teasing me so much.
My other friends smirked knowingly as Diamond tried to save face by insisting on paying for everything, and she stumbled off to the restroom to touch up her makeup. As we got up to move and wait outside for her, though, Fang seemed to grow jittery as we exited the shop and the freshly risen moon gleamed down upon us. He had been the picture of relaxed and confident all evening, but as he looked up at the moon and shivered, I caught him whispering a prayer to the Nightmother.
“Awww… Is somepony nervous about their new job?” Echo giggled from beside me as she too caught it and slugged her coltfriend.
“No…” Fang took a deep breath as he slowly pulled a jewelry box out and lowered himself before Echo. “I’m nervous about this.”
Both Echo and I froze at the sight, both of us tensing as he held out the box and opened it to reveal a simple silver band. Neither fancy nor expensive, its small presence was almost oppressively powerful.
“I… uh… know it’s kinda silly with us already planning on sharing a place, but I wanted to do things right and get you a promise bracelet.” Licking his lips, Silver Fang looked away. “I know it’s not much, but I can’t afford anything more right now, and it’s just… you deserve it? I want you to know how committed I am. If I could have gotten you this sooner, I would have, but…” He shrugged and looked back up, locking his eyes with her own moon-sized dinner plates.
“I promise that I would move the moon and stars themselves for you; I would fight the Nightmother herself to stay by your side, and stars help the Nightmare if she ever tries to sink her fangs in you. Maybe your Dad is right and we are just young and stupid, but Discord damn it all if I won’t do my honest best to make sure things work out in the end….”
His smile was soft, small, and sure.
Her mouth was flapping up and down as she stared.
Oh-so-slowly, Echo picked her mouth up with one hoof, a high pitched noise building in the back of her throat as her smile slowly morphed wider and wider. She was soon grinning like a loon under moon and vibrating more violently than a whistling tea kettle; hopping on three hooves, she held it in as long as she could before the literal explosion of excitement echoed up and down the streets cracking more than a few windows.
“Screeheeheeheehee! Yes!” There was at least one blurry flip. “Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes-yes! Oh, you big, beautiful hunk of a stallion! Come’ere!”
“What exactly did I miss?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Diamond behind me, and when I turned I found her eyebrow arching with so much slow exaggeration that a score of epic orchestral music wouldn’t be out of place. Her smirk may have been teasing, but her eyes were penetrating as they speared straight into my soul expectantly.
“It’s not what you think!” As lost in their embrace as they were, I couldn’t look to Echo and Fang for help, and so I stood there, sweat crawling down the back of my neck as I bit my lip and considered what to say.
“Night, dear, I don’t know what to think.” Diamond’s smirk grew. “Though your reaction tells me a lot. Where’s my band, huh? You know it’s in bad taste to let Silver show you up so much~”
“I didn’t get you anything, alright! He just gave her a— That band is—“ I shook my head. “Look. Thestrals don’t really do engagement rings; they do promise rings. Life is… too short to wait for engagement.”
“Po-ta-to, po-tah-to~” Diamond tittered. “As the saying goes, ‘If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.’” With a titter, she brushed against me. “Sooooooo… where’s mine?~”
“I don’t— I’m not—-” I flailed for the words.
“Not what?” She fluttered her eyelashes at me.
“I shouldn’t give you one when I don’t know where I’ll end up.” Looking away, I bit my lip hard. “I don’t wanna make a promise only to end up feeling I’m not keeping it.” With a snort, I couldn’t help making a microscopic frown at the happy couple. “’sides, we’re still in school.”
“Hrmmmmmmmmmm?”
The longer Diamond hummed, the harder it was to look back at her. My mind was already imagining a disappointed little frown and furrowed brow marring her pretty face.
A few, risky clicks quickly folded my ears back against my head; it had been stupid of me to hope for anything better, and the truth was so much worse. She was staring off and up at the moon, silent and contemplative save for that sun-blasted, thrice-damned hum.
Finally—after what felt like an eternity—the humming stopped.
“Fair enough, I suppose.”
I blinked and looked at her in surprise. I had been expecting something… more? What the buck was I supposed to do with that? Was that a good response? A bad response? It sounded good enough, and yet…
“Don’t overthink things.” Diamond booped my snoot before hip-checking me. “Now’s not the time. You still owe me a walk.”
Oh, horseapples. She was right. Did we have enough time still?
Glancing at the clock, I smiled and nodded. “I did say that, didn’t I? Think Echo and Fang will want to come?”
“Night, dear, look at that nuzzling and tell me it’s not going to end in Echo dragging Fang off for a last minute ‘inspection’ before the shift change.” Diamond’s smirk was smug as a slug as she turned my head with one hoof. “Besides, I think I want a bit more alone time, hrmmm?~”
“Fair enough.” I chuckled and blushed at the sight of my old friends, shaking my head to rid it of the sudden image of Diamond nuzzling me that intensely. “Oi! Fang, Echo, we’re heading off! ‘Grats on the ring, but don’t celebrate too long; shift change is a little less than an hour away.”
There was an audible pop as the two pulled away from a seemingly endless kiss, each gasping and smiling like a pair of loons as their wings rustled restlessly. “Will… do…. We’ll see you la—”
And just like Diamond said, there was Echo, dragging Fang off to a fight no warrior ever won.
Death… by snu snu.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure which of us suffered a worse fate.
Gasping, disheveled, and burnt blacker than the Nightmare’s bloody heart, I dragged myself into the station a whole ten minutes late and collapsed into the most dishearteningly lazy salutes it’s ever been my misfortune to snap off. “Night—” My stance actually wavered as I gasped, strangling sweet oxygen out of the air now that I had escaped the inferno outside. “Nightingale Mooncrest, reporting for duty, sir!”
The night watch captain—a surprisingly grizzled thestral in need of a shave, a trim, and an extra hour of training—looked up from his reports to give a deep, rumbling laugh. “Well, well, the mighty Mooncrest finally deigned to grace us with her presence? Where’s the fire? You look like the sun itself just tried to eat you, soldier.”
“Sun? No, sir.” I was slowly getting into good and proper posture. “Marefriend? Yes. I wish I could say wrestling manticores was worse, but when an earth pony sinks their hooves into you—”
“—there’s no force on Equis that can pry ‘em off. Aye, aye. I’ve heard that excuse before.” The captain rolled his eyes. “Used it a few times myself, though I wasn’t expecting anypony with your sort of track record to need it. Way your junior sergeant put it, you have a sun-blasted sycamore trunk up your ass.”
“I tried, sir.” It took little effort not to squirm after years of practice, but there was no stopping my neck as it steadily burned hotter and hotter. “Really, I did. But she was always one to cheat if she could get away with it, and I can’t exactly fly if she planned to have my wings pinned when the clocktower called fifteen to.”
“Haha! Fair enough!” Slapping his desk, my CO for the night rattled the contents. “You’re just lucky your designated noncom is just as late as you are.” Flashing his fangs in a grin, the pot-bellied stallion continued chuckling. “The lucky bastard.”
I blinked but did little more, still saluting as I was. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Not my place to tell, soldier.” The captain waved a hoof at me and returned to shuffling through his papers. “And at ease. Now let’s see… you’ll be patrolling the cloud district. You familiar with that part of the city?”
“Yes, sir! I used to live there, sir!” I stood a little straighter rather than drop from attention.
“Right, right… You’re the daughter of Dia and Diablo. Of course you know the cloud district.” The captain snorted as he flipped through some more papers. “Don’t even know why I asked.”
A flicker of a frown marred my face. “Sir, with all due respect, I appreciate it more that you not bring my parents up.”
“Trying to escape their shadow, eh?” There was a brief flash of fangs and a chuckle. “Good luck with that, soldier, they’re more than legends around here.”
My stoney facade cracked just a little bit further. “Yes, sir. I’m very aware of that, sir.”
“Well, the good news is we here in the Canterlot Guard don’t give a rat’s ass about stuff like that. We leave that to the nobles, and we stick our noses to the grindstone. It takes a lot to stand out when we’re right in the shadow of not one, but two royal guard detachments, so take all that guano about cozy positions and toss it out the window.”
My eyes flicked down to his abundant pudge, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Now at ease, already—before I order you to stand down. You’re so stiff it’s like taking a two-by-four to the head every time I look at you.”
“Sir, yes, sir….” Relaxing had the unfortunate side effect of freeing me up to squirm as the minutes dragged on. I stood there, waiting, and he sat there, doing paperwork. Somehow, despite all the practice standing in front of doorways growing up, it was a million times worse when it mattered. I felt like a freshly shaven private every time I twitched or shuffled or shifted from hoof to hoof.
“Uh… sir?”
“Yes, cadet?”
“Shouldn’t I be doing something?”
“I gave you your briefing.” He snorted. “All that’s left is to wait on your partner.” There was the loud bang of a door being slammed, and muffled swears filtered through the thin, paint-chipped walls as hoofsteps hurried towards us. “Ah! And speak of the devil.”
“Sorry, Captain Gallows, sir! Lost track of time! Won’t happen again!”
If I had been a blazing and broken mess when I stumbled in, Silver Fang was the perfect picture of how a guard should be. His salute was crisp and snappy, and he fell at ease with ease. There were no awkward twitches or shuffling limbs, just a cocky and self-assured soldier ready to get to work and make up for being late. The fact he could do it all with a smug little smile and still keep it by the books had me burning all over again at how this was going.
“Took your sweet time today, didn’t you, corporal? Don’t tell me another banshee dragged you into her lair?” The captain scowled hard even as his eyes twinkled.
“Can’t help that I’m a monster magnet, sir.” Fang’s smirk grew by a whole three millimeters, still by the books but by the Nightmother was he pushing it. “What’s our assignment for the day?”
I didn’t know whether to be impressed or hurt that he hadn’t looked at me yet. That took real skill.
A skill I apparently forgot just from a bit of snogging and some no-good, extra-saucy cuddles. Gah!
Snapping back into tip top form, I kept my eyes squarely in the distance. Chest out, eyes forward, hooves snapped together with nary a lash from my tail, I made sure I looked like a real soldier.
“Bit too eager to prove herself, ain’t she, corporal?” The captain chuckled, not even looking up as he rifled through his papers, our assignment already lost and forgotten among all the papers he went through while we were waiting. “Your assignment is simple. You’re patrolling the cloud district with a shadow looking at joining up. Name of Nightingale Mooncrest. Show her the ropes, put her through the paces, signal your turns before swinging your monster magnet. Last thing we need is reports of another banshee wailing.”
“On your orders, sir!” The crisp swiftness of Silver’s salute was contrasted by the unyielding eternity of my own. “Cadet Nightingale! Let’s move out!”
It was only as we made it outside that Silver turned to slug me. “Hey, hey. So you’re my shadow, huh? Sorry for being late.”
“It’s fine.” I rolled my eyes as we took wing to circle up and head for the cloud district. “You just made me look better.”
“Diamond wouldn’t let you go either, huh?” With a laugh, Silver Fang did a loop and I dutifully followed from my place in formation behind him. “Hah! Mares, am I right?”
“We are a strange and mysterious lot.” I nodded sagely, only to glide silently for a few moments. “So anything exciting ever actually happen up here?”
“I stopped an assault once.” As we banked over the clouds and settled into the fwoofy streets, Fang cast his head about. “Not proud of it, but I did.”
“And just what the hay is that supposed to mean?” I tried hard not to frown.
“Pffft! Just that the asshat really had it coming.” Waving his hoof dismissively, Silver Fang gestured for me to follow as we started our route. “You know how nobles are.”
“Oh…” Welp, that was just one more reason to avoid Canterlot. “Is that it, though? I knew Canterlot was cushy, but that just sounds…”
“Boring? Easy?” Silver Fang hummed as we trotted down the street, street lamps flickering with little jolts of lightning as their charge slowly petered out for the night. Little, fluffy clouds of steam puffed from the chimneys of stores and houses, while windows winked out one by one.
Silver Fang basked in the silence as we moved forward. Head raised to look at the Nightmother’s painting, he didn’t need to watch where he went as he lazily moved through the route. He barely needed to click, he knew it so well, and the lack of anypony except us made that easy. “I like to think of it as safe and secure. That is our job, isn’t it? To keep citizens happy and content?”
“Well, yeah, but…” I bit my lip and looked around at it all. “…there are plenty of places that could use you more.”
“Are there, now?” The hum increased as he flicked his ear without looking back. “Way I see it, the pony that needs me most is Echo.”
“Oh, that’s a load of guano and you know it.” I couldn’t help scowling. “Echo said she told you to go out on tour. She’s more than capable of managing on her own while you’re away.”
“That isn’t the issue here, is it?” Silver Fang chuckled and let out a sigh as we turned down another street. “Sure, I could leave her here to wait for me until I’m done touring, but why would I ever want to put her through that?”
“You could take her with you, then.” My tail lashed a bit as he laughed at that suggestion.
“That’s an even worse idea, Night! She wants to be a sculptor! Right here in Canterlot is perfect for her. There’s plenty of stone in the mountain, and a great big market of nobles that love seeing how great they are! No… the only reason I’d want to take her away from here is if we decided it’d be better to raise a family somewhere else.”
“A family?” I shook my head. “Dude, you are in it deep if you’re thinking that far ahead. You just gave her the promise ring. You’re barely out of— Wait, no. She’s still in school! You’re insane to be thinking that far ahead.”
He finally looked back, grinning like a loon under moon. It was just so smug and dad-ly that I had to look away. “Oh, so it’s insane for me to think that far ahead for me and Echo, but not insane for you to look that far ahead when it comes to your job?”
“What do you mean by that?” My neck bristled and my wings rustled as I tsked.
“I mean, have you even thought about you and Diamond in all of this?” Gesturing around everywhere, Silver’s grin turned into an almost imperceptible frown—microscopically small and by the books, the perfect facade. “She’s an ambitious mare, just like you. What makes you so sure she’ll be fine just waiting for you to come home?”
I didn’t answer.
Silver went back to watching the night sky as we kept on slowly walking, only one ear was swivelling as he clicked, though—the other perked and primed for my response. The houses and stores slowly grew as we moved on through the district, and eventually we were patrolling through the mansions drifting out over the edge of the mountain. As we passed by Grandpa and Grandma’s big, old, thundercloud house, I could feel it just looming over me, judging my inability to answer a simple question.
“We’ll make it work,” I managed to rasp out, licking my lips and swallowing. “You said it best. She’s like me—ambitious. Work will keep her busy, and if it was really a problem, she’d tell me. Diamond doesn’t dance around shit like that.”
Silver Fang’s hum was long and hard as we kept up our patrol.
“Well?” My snort was spot on, but my stomp was disappointingly muffled by the clouds.
Not even a crack of thunder escaped. It said good about the pegasi who built the street, but was just about as frustrating as finding out I had an apple with no worm.
“Mmmm… Perhaps Echo was right to kick me.” Silver sighed.
“Come again?” I blinked.
“You know!” He laughed and looked back with a grin. “Back at the Greasy Wheel when she kicked me for trying to bring this up.”
“Oh, right. So that was Echo, then?” I tilted my head. “‘Cause Diamond was acting really suspicious.”
There was another laugh and Silver Fang stopped to slug me. “Oh, no, it was both. Your marefriend bucks harder than most seasoned cadets.”
Snorting hard, I rolled my eyes. “I would hope so. She trained with me in junior guard for a solid three years.”
“That still leaves plenty of time for her to have gone to pasture.” Silver Fang chuckled before eyeing me up and down. “You know, if you and Diamond weren’t such a bunch of day dwellers I’d offer to let Echo and I help out. See about expanding our little herd. Gets a lot less lonely when you’ve got somepony to cuddle.”
“Ewww… dude, don’t even joke about that.” I slugged him back a little harder than I needed to. “My Aunt Mercy is moving to Ponyville with her sights set on Dad, and I just… Seriously, don’t joke about it, alright? ‘Sides, where’d all that talk about Echo needing you go?”
“Night, I wasn’t joking there. If you were part of the herd, you’d need me, too.” Silver shook his head and shrugged. “Not that I was expecting you to go for it, but me and Echo both want the best for you and Diamond. Sorry if I struck a nerve. I didn’t know about your Aunt.”
“Ugh… I can’t even afford to be mad at her.” My wings rustled as I frowned. “She lost her fiancé just after getting pregnant, and she quit the motherbucking guard. She’s messed up and won’t let anypony but us help her with the darn foal, and to make things worse, her guano-guzzling dad kicked her out of her clan. It’s… way above my paygrade.”
“Wow. Okay, I am officially really sorry for bringing up the herd thing now. That sounds like soap opera levels of drama.” Silver tsked and shook his head. He opened his mouth to say more only to pause and swivel his ears at a crashing sound in a nearby ally. A cursory inspection revealed it was nothing but several ravens digging through the adjoining restaurant’s trash, though, and we returned to walking, finally coming full circle to begin our route again.
“Welp, that’s the route, then. Easy enough, right? I know you’ve been training for this and more since before we even met.” Silver stopped to grin at me and gestured around. “Peaceful, quiet, good for the heart and soul. That’s the Canterlot Guard’s life.”
“Fang, I don’t know about you, but the fact we could slack off for the whole route talking doesn’t exactly seem like a highlight to me.” I glanced around the empty streets.
“Then you’re aiming for the wrong post, don’tcha think?” Silver arched his brow and cocked a grin as he pointed off towards the castle. “Perhaps you didn’t really notice with those stars you always had in your eyes, but the Day and Night Guard are just as boring. More so, actually, they can’t afford to let their image slip and talk. They stand around in front of doors all day long and push piles of papers that reach miles high. You want excitement, you’re better off staying a lowly grunt wherever you ship out to or trying to get into the Dawn Guard.”
With a huff, I crossed my hooves. “Hey! I’m not saying I’m bored; I’m just wondering when I’m gonna start seeing some nice, strict, discipline.”
“Night, your definition of well-disciplined is so strict that you oughta be seeking medical attention for standing erect for more than four hours.” Starting up the route again, Silver Fang took point. I couldn’t see his smug little smirk, but I could totally hear it. “Do you remember how we met?”
“How could I forget? You nearly pissed yourself thinking Princess Celestia was gonna bake us into a cake.” Shaking my head, I dutifully followed and tried not to fall asleep standing up.
“Do you remember how long you stood there alone in the castle pantry guarding those cookies for fun?” The smirk grew smugger.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Had to have been long enough since I caught you.”
“You were there for hours, Night—a literal eternity by foal standards.” With a laugh, Silver Fang trotted over to the side of the street to look over a rough patch of clouds. The work of litterers, no doubt.
The absolute fiends.
How anypony could stand littering, I had no idea. Even in the cloud districts all the trash needed somepony to pick it up, and now we’d need to file a freaking report to help the trash scouters have an idea of what they’d be looking for down under. I squinted at the patch, eyeballing it and taking some notes in my little black book before we stamped and smoothed things back to a nice functional state.
“Handled that pretty well,” Silver Fang chuckled. “You sure you can’t find your discipline here in the Canterlot Guard?”
“Dude, shut up….” Rustling my wings, I allowed myself the tiniest scowl. “You know I can’t. I’ll never get into the Lunar Guard coming up here.”
Silver rolled his eyes. “Girl, the Nightmother dotes on you so much that she’d probably just let you join if you asked.”
“Don’t even joke about that.” Whoops…. Didn’t mean to growl there. “I am not getting into the Lunar Guard on nepotism. I’d rather the sun gouge my eyes out.”
“I hate to disappoint you, Night, but you get in the Night Guard and you will always end up dealing with guano-guzzlers who think you got in scot free.” Silver sighed. “Even I deal with that, and I’m just a grunt in the normal guard. Fact is, you, me, Echo, and all the other foals Princess Luna doted on since returning have a bit of a rep. The more she likes you, the worse it is, and she likes you a lot. There is no escaping that shadow if you’re aiming for her personal guard.”
“And?” I refused to let my scowl deepen as we resumed our patrol. “Where else can I go? The bucking Day Guard? Dawn Guard is gonna be nothing but trying to outdo my parents, and there’s no way I’m joining the Crystal Guard.”
“Well… Day Guard would be a good way to shove it in everypony else’s faces.” Silver’s snicker was choked as he held back full belly laughs. “Probably the only way you could make those bat-brained nobles down in the undercity hate you more. Get in the Lunar Guard and they’ll just be jealous. Get in the Day Guard, though, and you’ll break over a thousand years of tradition. They might get aneurysms just from the thought! Haha!”
And there was the laughter, loud, carrying, and very noticeable as we made our way through the mostly empty streets.
“You do know ponies are trying to sleep, right?” It was getting harder and harder to maintain the stoic facade, my frown fighting the urge to morph into a full blown glower.
“Oh, hush now, Cadet.” Silver chuckled and waggled his eyes as he looked back at me, literally pulling at his stripes before sticking his tongue out. “One little laugh isn’t enough to get us in trouble. You act like I’m disturbing the peace.” Taking a turn we hadn’t made before, he clicked his hind hooves together and almost pranced down the street.
“Discord damn it, Silver. If you’re breaking the route just to make a point, I—”
“I’m not breaking the route to make a point, Cadet~ I’m just showing you how everypony on the squad does it.”
The rowdy sounds of a bar could be heard from down the street as we advanced, the building lit up like a sun compared to the rest of the neighborhood. As we approached, another patrol stepped out of the building and I froze in shock at the sight of them popping some salt cubes. Before I could process it, Silver was up next to them, and he laughed like nothing was wrong, giving out hoof bumps and greetings until the other patrol waved and was on their way.
Like a switch was flipped, I bolted forward to hiss in his ear as he went inside. “Are you nuts? We can’t get salted at work!”
“I agree, Cadet. Much better that we get tipsy. Am I right, guys?!” He held a hoof to his ear and gestured around.
It was only then I noticed the place was absolutely packed with guards from the last shift—mostly pegasi, but even a few unicorns were sitting at the cloud tables enjoying their drinks and rolling dice. When Silver asked his question they roared in approval and called for the barkeep to give us a round on them, and I was left in the awkward position of accepting a flask from a bar maid so smoking I couldn’t help but dumbly nod and take it when she giggled.
“First-timers get the good stuff~” Before my overwhelmed brain could even begin to think up a response, she was gone with a leathery flap of wings, back to tending to the other patrons.
“Homina homina homina…” Come on, mouth, work. There were a million reasons this was wrong. Popping open the flask, I could smell it. Freshly donated bloodwine, brewed to be drunk new rather than aged.
“Come on, soldier~ What are you waiting for?” Silver’s callback from the door was enough to get me going again, allowing me to advance in the other direction and break back out into the nice, cool night air.
“Oh, sweet Nightmother above, give me strength.” I gulped at the air and shook as I dragged my chuckling companion back down the street. “So many infractions… I don’t even… and there was that other patrol… and… and…” Casting my gaze to the stars as if they’d hold the answers I needed, I found none. Slugging Silver’s shoulder was satisfying, but only for a moment, and I glowered at him as he stood there smirking, sipping from his flask like it was nothing.
“What the buck was that?” I gestured back.
“Tradition?” Silver gave a lazy shrug and took another sip.
“Tra— That is not a tradition! That is flagrant rule breaking!” Walking right up to him, I poked his chest. “How many patrols stop at the pubs like that?!”
“Ok, it breaks the rules. Still a tradition, though, and one that’s been around a long, long time for the night shifts. Everypony does it.” Seeing Silver lick his lips after uttering such horrible delinquency made his face just look oh-so punchable.
More pokes would have to suffice. “Then. Why. Don’t. You. Report. It?”
“Pffft. Report it to who, Night? Captain was in there last night!” Shaking his head, Silver snorted and stamped a hoof. “No reason to make waves. I file a report, then he has to do something. There’ll be a bunch of official investigations, and a lot of slaps on the fetlock, and all it will do is waste our time, taxpayers’ money, and make me public enemy number one for the whole division. Not worth it. No, thank you.”
“But… but… The Rules! The Regulations!” My limbs flailed as I tried to gesticulate. “This is exactly what I mean! There’s just no discipline! You’d never see this in the Lunar Guard!”
“No… but you’d see it in the Dawn Guard from what I’ve heard of them.”
That got me to close my mouth.
“We work hard, play harder.” Silver chuckled and started walking again. “It’s just how we do things. There’s no competing with both the Solar and Lunar Guards their way, so we carve our own. It’s something you’ll need to get used to, because no unit is as stoic and stoney as those two.”
“Hrmff!” It took a lot of effort to not cross my hooves and pout, instead forcing myself back into that well-trained stoic facade. “You probably could compete with them if you bothered to try.”
“Says the mare who complained about nothing ever happening in Canterlot.” Silver fell back to pat me on the back. “What is there to even compete over, really? Nah. Better we let them have their ‘fun’ while we get to have ours. I’ve got all I need with Echo.”
The silence that fell between us after that was stiff and awkward. I could see his ears swivel to perk any time I took anything more than a slow, measured breath. Whatever response he wanted, though, I just didn’t know what to say. We were just going in circles at this point, and—
An apology, maybe? For what?! I hadn’t done or said anything wrong.
Even if it felt like I did…
“Night.” My name was whispered softly, gently, and without Silver looking my way. “Please don’t sulk like that. It’s unbecoming of a future Lunar Guard to let their ears drop more than a few millimeters. That’s almost a whole centimeter you got there.
“Look… I’m not saying you should give up your dreams or change who you are, but I do think you really need to ask yourself if you want your job to come before Diamond. You like Diamond, right? Maybe even love her? There are plenty of places closer to home than Hollow Shades or the frozen north or whatever danger-ridden, far-off outpost you think is best to prove your mettle. Sure, it might take longer to get to your end goal, but how much extra time with Diamond is that going to give you?”
Biting my lip, I still couldn’t respond for a few minutes. “There’s… no point in worrying about it now. Who knows where I’ll pick? I’ve got a lot of places to check out still.”
“But are you going to think about it?” Silver’s tail lashed.
“Yes….”
“Heh. Thank you, that’s all I ask.” He looked back to grin like a loon under moon. “Well, that and maybe a fourway, but only one of those is good for you as a friend.”
My ears burned as I calmly, and completely without fluster formulated my response. “Fat chance. Your soldier’s salute isn’t nearly stiff enough to pass my inspection.”
Sans the occasional snicker and the dripping of water, dead silence filled the hall as I tromped towards my locker. My eyes were livid as I lashed my tail and cast my gaze about, and I was so soaked to the bone my mane and tail plapped and squelched from all the water being flung.
The morning had started off well enough. The buckball team had asked me in to help teach some newbies how to really get some bang for their buck after being forced to dive—better distance, smoother control, faster recovery, that sort of thing. It got my muscles burning the good burn, and let me have a few smiles and laughs with old friends. Really, I should’ve been grinning like a loon under moon.
Somepony, however, had decided shots needed to be fired.
Practice was done. I was all showered, changed, and dried. There was just enough time to make it from the shower room to my locker before homeroom.
The door was slightly open, which sounds weird, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was a mare on a mission; I didn’t have time for doors.
They certainly had time for me, though. No sooner had I pushed through the door, than a sun-blasted tank of water tipped over to drench me to the bone.
A literal tank of water.
Motherbuckers who did it were lucky I was the first one out of the locker room, ’cause that could have hurt somepony who wasn’t built like a brick. Now, if somepony had gotten hurt? I’d totally be out for blood. As it was, I settled for snorting and stamping and flicking water about in irritation, grumbling to myself about prankster pies.
I focused on my locker as I drew near, and quickly flipped through the combination, my ears twitching to the sound of the tumbler ticking away. As I hit the final number and started to open the door, however, I heard something else. There was a twang and a snip as my locker started to open of its own accord, and I ducked on instinct to watch three things shoot by overhead, unleashed by a spring loaded trap.
Plap! Plap! Plap!
“Eeeeeek!”
Looking back, my temple twitched upon seeing that several ponies behind me had gotten caught in the crossfire. The gaggle of mares had been creampied hard, the foil tins clattering to the ground after delivering their payloads.
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice?
These were targeted attacks, and as I cast my gaze up and down the hall looking for suspects, not even a snicker broke the silence this time. Several ponies actually took a step back, and I idly filed that information away for later before picking through my locker to get my books and hurry on to class. I scowled with a face hewn from stone the whole way there, not even cracking a grin when I saw Diamond and Silver Spoon waiting to walk inside with me.
“Wow. You look like a gargoyle who thought stone could swim. Who the hay rained on your parade, soldier?” Silver’s grin was smaller than most top notch guards as she arched her brow, her dead fish-eyes as cold and calculating as ever.
Diamond giggled and stepped up to circle and look me over. “Some colts like the wet mane look, but your face tells me this isn’t a fashion statement. Is that… whipped cream?” Her face scrunched as she poked at a spot on my back and brought her hoof to her nose to sniff and lick. “Blech! No! That’s shaving cream! How’d that get on your back?!”
“Not important.” I growled as I dragged them into homeroom and commandeered the back of the room. Mrs. Cheerilee took one look at me and promptly silenced any complaints she had. She’d already seen my war face before. “Probably just nicked me when I ducked for cover. What is important is some dumbass is taking potshots at me, and they aren’t being picky with who gets caught in the crossfire.”
“Ahh… sounds like the good old days.” Silver’s monotone sigh was accompanied by her pulling out her notebook. “Teaching those senior punks their place first year was fun. We got a war on our hooves, then?”
“I hope not.” Frowning, I shook my head. “I mean, I don’t even know what I could have done to make myself a target. Everypony in school loves—” The harsh whispers of the many and varied sports teams echoed through my head. “Well, almost everypony loves us. We keep the school bully-free, after all.”
“That’s probably why they targeted you, dear.” Diamond patted me on the back. “Don’t fret. It’s probably just some jerk of a first year thinking they can muscle in on our turf.”
“Yeah? Well, they got another thing coming after I catch them.” My growl was soft, predatory and almost purring as I let myself grin. Given that Mrs. Cheerilee stumbled when she looked back from the board, my smile must have been scarier than the scowl. “You girls in or what?”
The first step to winning a war was always information. A good scout could turn an enemy ambush into a route, and that was exactly what we were gonna do to whoever was pranking me.
It was the next day of school, and Diamond and Silver had one end of the hall staked out while Scoots and Rumble took the other. There weren’t that many ponies in the halls this early, but it wasn’t unusual for a few to be out and about talking. My friends couldn’t be in sight of my locker—no, that was my job—but I was confident in their ability to pincer on the poor sap who dared open up my locker for another prank.
And so I sat and waited like a spider on her web. I couldn’t care less if my locker was dark; I was at home in the close and confined walls of my domain. Sure, I wasn’t hanging upside down—there wasn’t room for that—but that just meant whoever broke in my locker was going to see my enormous fanged grin when they opened the door.
I already had plans to hungrily lick my chops, maybe make a crack about being hungry for justice. All they needed to do was show up.
Any second now… They barely had any time left before the morning bell rang and there were witnesses. Sucking in my breath, I waited for the lock to jostle so I could give the guano-guzzler the jump scare of his life.
And nothing happened as the bell rang, signalling a rush of ponies into the hall.
Buck….
It would suck if they were smart enough to vary up their tactics, but I was nothing if not persistent. It’d be easy enough to keep this up. Just get up early, sneak in, shadow hop into my locker before anypony was even in school. I could use the time to do homework or something—use the metal door of my hidey hole for writing.
Fiddling with the handle, I managed to pop the door and slide out into the hall, blinking my eyes at the harsh sterile light before slipping my shades on. It was gonna take some extra time to get my locker back in order, but the bell had just rung and I was here. There was the brief sensation of wind as I pulled my bags and books out of the vents with a sigh, reaching into my shadow to grab them from the dark and shady tunnels.
“Better luck next time….”
There were no jokes that day.
Nor the next day.
Nor the day after that.
Nope. Nada. Nothing. It was beyond irritating, and I was just about ready to call it quits. The others already had.
Maybe it was just a one-off prank, and I was overreacting. Maybe— My ears perked from within my locker at the sound of approaching hoofsteps, and I tensed.
Closer…. Closer…. Yes! Stop right in front of me! Do it! Open the locker! I dare you!
I leaned forward in anticipation at the sound of the perpetrator rifling through their bags for their lockpicks and thieve’s tools, almost blowing my cover by bonking my head on the door. Licking my lips in anticipation, I put on my most hungry of grins—fangs gleaming with predatory glee—and waited for my moment of triumph.
The lock wiggled and jiggled for what felt like an eternity. Sweat beaded down my neck, and I held my breath so I wouldn’t give myself away.
And then the jiggling stopped.
Somepony shoved something through the slit of my locker door.
Something small. Something paper. An envelope?
I tried to rustle the door open—to get the jump on the perp before he could escape—but the handle wouldn’t budge, and the pony on the other side gave a snorting chuckle before slamming their hoof on the locker and jauntily whistling as they walked away.
They were smart enough not to talk—to not gimme a voice or a name or any of the things most big, dumb, gloating bullies liked to do—but I could hear how heavy the hoofsteps were. Whoever it was was big. They were big, and that chuckle had been deep.
So I had something to go on, at least.
Now if only I wasn’t stuck.
Fiddling with the locker proved pointless, and with lights on and school fast approaching, I couldn’t just hop out without knowing where a bit of somepony’s shadow was. Part of me was really tempted to just break down the door, but no… that would be vandalism. Technically, it was also breaking and entering for me to sneak in as early as I did, but thinking about that made my head spin.
I just needed to wait for somepony else to pass by.
Here… alone… trapped in my locker.
Wow, I had a newfound hatred for bullies. Now that it wasn’t self-inflicted, this was kinda awful. I was cramped and itchy from when the anticipation had been making me sweat, and I didn’t have any real sort of movement. At least thin, stringy nerds could wriggle if they were small enough. My wings were literally pinned to the walls.
Still, the bell was ringing, and I could hear ponies approaching.
“Hey, guys!” I rattled the locker door. “Little help here?!”
The hoofsteps stopped—all of them—and a long, awkward silence was all that responded for a minute. Then came the whinnies as several ponies went running, hushed murmurs and whispers exploding as I kept working at the door.
“Uh, guys?” I rapped on the door. “Come on. I was staking out that prankster again and got stuck. I don’t wanna have to break the door down. If somepony could go grab a teacher?”
Finally, somepony actually trotted up to the door as a few more ponies galloped off. “N-Night? Is that really you?”
“Uhhh… yeah? Who else would I be?”
The voice back-pedalled. “J-just checking! Ummm… errr… wait here a second, okay?”
I blinked. “Well, it’s not like I can go any—”
“I’m gonna bucking kill whoever did this!”
Wow… if my ears weren’t mistaken, that was Diamond stomping up hard enough to crack the floor. Hot, but not doing my wings any favors right now.
I rustled a little too much and the metal keeping me in groaned. “Hey, Diamond! What’s wrong?”
The stomping paused as a glare hot enough to melt through the metal seared into my coat and my marefriend snorted. “What’s wrong?! I’ll tell you what’s bucking wrong! I want blood! Outta the way, pipsqueak!”
The pony by my locker eeped as Diamond continued her school-shaking trot, stomping up to my locker. “What happened to you?”
“Got trapped in here after some dumbass fiddled with the lock, you?”
“We are not speaking of what happened to me ever again and for all eternity.”
“Diamond, how can I not speak of it if I don’t know what it is?”
“You will see soon enough, now sit still so I can…” The lock started jiggling.
Ok, then. Good. She was calming down. It was a little surprising she could pick locks, but—
I jumped as a buck to the lock kicked it right off. Another buck dented it inwards, and then a third made the door groan in utter defeat as it buckled off one hinge and slowly squeaked open to a very wide-eyed audience.
“I was trying to avoid that.” Grimacing as I stepped out, I shook my mane and tail and stretched with a sigh of relief. Only as I opened my eyes and they adjusted to the hall did I see just why my fillyfriend was out for blood.
She was coated in it.
Super iron-colored, super sticky, and very pungent smelling dye was splattered all over her normally pristine coat. She was literally steaming, her tail lashing, her nostrils flaring; there may have been smoke rising from her mane.
“This was on your locker.” She shoved a piece of paper in my hooves. “You were right. This is war.”
The paper was filled with a message made from a variety of cut out magazine letters—big, bold, and attention grabbing.
‘Golden age is over, punks. I slam dunked your little protector in her locker. She ain’t gonna be able to save you no more.’
My slitted eyes narrowed at the message, and I hissed, crumpling up the paper and shoving it in my shadow to trap it for eternity in the vents. No wonder ponies ran off when I asked for help. Ponies were going to talk.
“You want blood, Diamond? How about letting me drain every last drop from their shriveled and cowardly corpse?”
“Get in line, you two.”
I blinked and looked up to find Silver Spoon approaching with frost and snow clinging to her coat. She fought her shivers well, but they were still there as she trotted up with murder in her eyes. The last of her dignity was lost as she sneezed and sniffled, tossing a crown of ice at our feet.
“Scoots and Rumble got tarred and feathered—they might end up needing to molt since it got into their wings.” Silver’s tail lashed. “Button found the head of his mint-condition Supermare action figure waiting in his locker, and he doesn’t normally run with anypony other than Sweetie. I think it’s safe to say this is about games club at this point.”
“I dunno.” Shaking my head, I dug out the letter in my locker—the one the perp left just for me. “The guys may be mad, but this feels malicious even for them.” Tearing the envelope open, I blinked at the message. “‘Better luck next time, Scumbat’…. I suppose as far as insults go, it could be worse. This… this is gonna take more than a basic stakeout. Whoever did this was able to do so because they know how we operate. They knew I would stake out my locker, and they used that to trick me and get you guys.”
“Honestly, that sounds way too smart for a jock. Patient, too. They waited for us to drop our guard.” Diamond shook her head.
“Well, whoever it was was big.” With a snort, I narrowed my eyes and scowled. “I got to hear them walk away.”
Half-frowning, half-pouting, Diamond hummed. “I guess we’ll just need to get better at investigating, then. Any idea where to start?”
“First Down will be able to tell us if anypony on the hoofball team is in on it.” I poked a hoof at my poor locker. “We can start there and start sniffing the perps out if he’s got a lead.”
“Nightingale Mooncrest! What is going on here?!” I winced as Mrs. Cherilee rounded the corner with Abacus Finch and one of the students that ran off earlier.
“I d-did it! I got hel— Oh…” Pulling up short of the sight of my destroyed locker, the student blushed. “Whoops.”
“You three. My office. Now.” Abacus was never one to smile on a good day; with how bad things were looking, I was honestly surprised her leaden scowl wasn’t dropping off her face from the sheer weight.
We were escorted briskly down the hall and into the one hall I hated most in school. Clean, sterile, and sparkling with unholy brightness, the Head of Discipline made sure the custodians kept her office and hall as white and hungry as the sun. It made my coat itchy and hot every time I needed to walk the walk of shame. It wasn’t often—thank the Nightmother—but there were some things the school just couldn’t do.
Scoots and Rumble were already seated when we trotted in, black and sticky and covered in chicken feathers. Scoots was irritably picking at one wing with a huff, while Rumble was carefully preening her other wing with much more care. There was a yelp and a muffled swear as Scoots plucked a feather by accident, and Rumble had to quickly drop what he was doing before his fillyfriend’s agitated flapping made him pluck even more.
“I told you not to rush it.” Frowning at Scoots, he leaned back in to continue. “Do you want to end up waiting for all your feathers to grow back?” He turned to spit in the garbage can, face scrunched in disgust from the tar, but on seeing us in the door, he made the mistake of swallowing.
“Everypony, sit.” Abacus flicked her switch against the table with a snap that made Mrs. Cheerilee wince. Harsh as she was, the mare never used it on students, but she sure as Tartarus liked reminding you it was there.
While the rest of us sat, Mrs. Cheerilee hovered by the door, dancing on her hooves and darting her eyes about. She gave a whimpery little whinny when Abacus waved her away.
“You still have class to attend to, Cheerilee. These ruffians are out of your hooves.”
“Umm… I’m sure the class can handle themselves for a few minutes without m—”
“Go.” The switch struck the desk again and our flower of hope was gone.
“Now, then.” Abacus stomped and her door just slammed shut to trap us in her kingdom. “Explain.”
Sweet Nightmother above, the others were just opening and closing their mouths. I was at least making sound, but buck if earth ponies weren’t absolutely terrifying in their domain. It was her room—her office—and every little clip of her pacing hooves on the tiled floor stabbed at the ears as the walls felt like they were watching, judging, and closing in. It was like the room itself was tsking in disapproval, just waiting to hear what we’d done.
“Well?” Abacus arched her brow, and I swore I could hear the room do the same.
Don’t ask me how or what the room even had to arch, but arch something it did. The tortured groan of something was in my ears, so unless it was my friends….
“Some hooligans started pranking me a week or so ago, Ma’am.” I politely bowed my head, ears splaying as I did. “I didn’t know who it was, so I took the liberty of trying to figure out who it was before reporting it to the proper school authorities.”
“Is that so?” The switch was only lightly tapping the desk now, even if she was still prowling like a shark behind it. She paused and turned to stare me down, and I had to muster all my effort on not giving ground. “You lot are so prone to taking action into your own hooves. I don’t know if I believe you.”
“We only ever break the rules when the school itself can do nothing, ma’am, and we always accept the consequences.” Schooling my expression, I put on my best guard face.
“Yes, you do, but that hardly makes breaking the rules any more acceptable now, does it?” Abacus’ brow arched once more.
“No, ma’am.”
She stared at me for a long while, tongue clicking. “Go on and explain this morning, then.” Waving a hoof at me, she resumed pacing.
“I was staking out my locker to see if they’d try striking there again.” Show no weakness. That was the key. “I came in early, hid in my locker, and waited to get the drop on anypony foalish enough to try. It was never my intent to break or vandalize my locker. If it had been, I would have broken out to make sure I caught the perpetrator. Instead, they outwitted me and jammed the lock so I was stuck inside.”
“And that’s when you decided it was okay to rip the door off your locker?”
“No, ma’am. I was fine with waiting for the proper authorities to come and free me at that point. My fillyfriend here was… less than pleased when she was targeted by her own prank.” I nodded to Diamond.
“Gee, thanks. Roll me under the trolley, why don’t you?” Diamond flicked her tail, but didn’t deny her actions. “Do you know what I might need to do to get this dye out?”
“No?”
“Well, depending on the dye, if I don’t want to wait for my next few coat trimmings, I may need to bucking shave.” The sheer murder in her eyes was enough to make me wince.
Ooof… I was gonna need to take measures to protect the perps from Diamond, wasn’t I?
“Coats grow back, Miss Tiara.” Abacus tsked and marked something down on a slip on her desk. “Locker doors don’t. You will be getting twice as much detention for that. Be thankful I’ve decided to be lenient seeing that you were all targeted with malicious intent. Figure out who is disrupting my school quickly or I may start being less so.”
I nodded and accepted the slip as she hoofed it to me. There was no point in arguing it was Principle Princeps’ school with her. As Head of Discipline, she’d just give me more detention.
That said… three days of detention was rather lenient for her. Usually, it was a week at minimum when she stepped in.
“Now.” Abacus sniffed. “Before you head back to class, I’m giving you a hall pass for both your lockers and the gym. Clean yourselves in the showers if need be, and collect whatever you need for class before returning.” Turning to Scoots and Rumble, her eyes narrowed. “I will be sending somepony to check on you. Do not test me by sneaking in the fillies’ shower room.”
“M-ma’am, yes, ma’am!” Oh, Rumble… saluting somepony who wasn’t a commissioned officer again? Would you never learn?
Still, it stroked Abacus’s ego, and got us out of her oppressive office without any more fuss. The instant the door closed, it was like feeling clouds finally cover the sun to provide sweet, blessed shade.
“Nightmother above, earth ponies are scary.” I let out a breath as we all started walking. “How does she even have a domain here, Diamond? I could feel it sending shivers up my spine.”
“Uh… same way Daddy can sense whenever the bank lays a hoof on his bits, I guess?” Diamond flicked her ear. “You don’t always need to own the land. If she really thinks that office is that important, then it is. Dunno what else to tell you. You think it was bad for you, though? I think my hooves cracked a little.”
“Ugh… I can’t wait to get all this junk out of my wings. I hope it stains all of Finch’s furniture. This whole thing is horseapples.” Scoots rustled her wings. “She could have at least let me clean myself first.”
“What? And risk having you run off after catching you?” I snorted. “Not in a million years.”
“Yeah, well, she can suck it if she’s gonna pull stunts like that.” Scootaloo lashed her tail hard enough to whipcrack Rumble as we made it to the shower rooms. “Now come on, Turkey Legs. Time to get back to that preening.”
“Uh… I don’t really think I should test Abacus by going in with you.” Rumble blushed and glanced at us for help.
“Oh, you don’t, do you?” Scoots dragged her coltfriend right past the fillies’ showers and straight towards the colts’. “Well, that’s good. ‘Cause I’ll be coming in with you. She didn’t ask me to do squat.”
Rumble gave one last yelp as he was dragged into the showers, and I turned to look at Diamond and Silver, arching my brow. “Which one do you think will get more detention if they’re caught?”
“Oh, Night, Night, Night, Night…” Diamond tittered as she shook her head. “You shouldn’t be asking yourself that.”
“I shouldn’t?”
“No, of course not!” It was my turn to yelp as Diamond latched her hoof into my chest floof and began dragging me towards the door. “You should be asking how much detention we’re going to be getting if we’re caught~ After all, I’m just so mad right now, I think I need your help… venting….”
Oh… Oh, sweet stars above, no…
“Uh… Silver?”
“This Ice Queen is out.” The mare was already trotting away. “Good thing all I got splattered with was water.”
“No! Come back! Save me!” I reached out, but it was too late. The locker room door closed with a thud and my fate was sealed.
The war council was held in the Hard Rock Cafe, by which, of course, I mean Diamond’s dining room.
Mr. Rich had the best room for it, even if it was a little over the top. The ornate, wooden table was nice and wide with plenty of spots to sit; it was perfect for banging a hoof on, and large enough to set up models of the battlefield as we planned. If only the rest of the meeting room was dignified and spartan, rather than rich and garish, it would have been perfect.
A slightly too lush carpet went from wall to wall with elegant patterns, and there were shelves lining the walls all filled with souvenirs and knick-knacks—mementos of Mr. Rich’s favorite deals or partners. I had heard many of the stories involved with them over dinner, and not all were happy and good.
Business ponies were far more vicious and ruthless than soldiers as it turned out. The worst of them could bleed countless ponies dry with the whip crack of a tail; they ruined lives, bartered souls, and the worst of them laughed at the most heinous of crimes, littering! Mr. Rich wasn’t quite that bad, but he was the vindictive type to kick his foes when they were down and collect trophies of the swindling swine who dared challenge him. So much power and wealth was shoved in this room, just looking around was enough to give me shivers.
So instead I focused on our impromptu map of the school, occasionally glowering around at the other girls.
“So? Who wants to go first?” Diamond tsked and tapped her hoof as the silence turned oppressive. “Any ideas besides drawing and quartering?”
The dye—true to her fears—had not washed out. Jury was still out on whether she’d need to shave; she was importing a heavy-duty, magical zebrew that was supposed to be powerful enough to purge even the everlasting death turds from the poor schmucks stuck cleaning up after Cerberus.
Would it work? Ehhhhhh… Whether it did or didn’t, she’d still be out for blood.
“I still vote for letting the authorities handle it.” My frown deepened. “All we need is proof of who’s involved.”
“Proof? Proof?!” Banging her hoof on the table, Diamond gave a most unlady-like leer. “You wanna just settle for proof?! Where’s your sense of justice?! We leave it to the school and they’ll all get slaps on the wrist just like Silver and I did!”
Silver nodded, her glasses hiding her dead fish eyes as she reached up to adjust them. “Finch might be tough, but detention is hardly a fitting punishment here.”
“And who are we to decide that?” Fangs bared and gleaming, my coat bristled and my wings rustled. “It’s getting a bit too personal to do whatever we want.”
“We’re the top dogs in town, that’s who.” Scoots gave a cheeky grin and elbowed Rumble. “We should totally just do whatever we want, right?”
Rumble, even insubordinate as he was, was wise enough to not comment.
“Eh!” Scoots was having none of it, though, and nudged harder. “Right?”
“I… wouldn’t mind knocking a few heads together if it came down to it.”
Gee… thanks, Rumble.
“Guys, guys, guys!” As we all glowered at each other, Apple Bloom stepped up to wave us down. “You’re all missin’ somethin’ mighty important. We don’t know who dun it yet. Can we wait on playin’ judge, jury, and executioner until we all got the varmints?”
“Agreed.” Sweetie shook her head from where she was cuddled up with Button. “Ponies are talking enough as it is without you all going on a rampage. Let’s at least wait until we know who’s involved.” She looked to me. “You asked First Down to come, right?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t wanna make him a target. It could be the whole hoofball team involved for all we know, so I settled for slipping a letter in his locker. Told him we were meeting during their scheduled practice and asked if he’d fake being sick. It was better he come see us when nobody else on the team could suspect or follow. If he’s coming, he’ll be here soon.”
“Might as well wait, then.” Apple Bloom looked between us all, eyes squinted. “That is, if y’all can behave yourselves?”
“Hey! I was behaving!” I pouted.
“Growlin’ when the rest of us disagree with you ain’t behavin’, Night.” With a snort, her gaze settled on me and she frowned. “Truth be told, I’m with the others, too. So is Sweetie.”
The elegant mare nodded from her spot beside Button. He was limp and despondent as she rubbed his shoulder—still completely in despair as he stared at the head of his action figure.
What? Such betrayal…
I pouted further but said nothing, settling down to wait and glowering at the table as silence fell once again. Thank the Nightmother that it was only a few minutes before the doorbell rang and a sheepish First Down crept up the stairs to join us. His normally heavy hoofsteps were soft and faltered as he approached the door, peeking his head in and wincing as he saw Diamond.
“Hey, guys…. I, uh, heard about the incident.”
Diamond and I both snorted, but she beat me to the actual punch. “Incident? Incident?! The whole bucking school knows about the damn incident!”
Stepping between Diamond and First Down, I made sure the tongue lashing didn’t turn into a brawl. “Easy, Princess. He’s here to help us, remember?”
“If he could control his own bloody tea—”
“We won’t know it was the hoofball team until he confirms it, so cool down, now.” I glowered and drew myself up even as Diamond snorted steam in her anger. We glared for a bit, neither willing to back down first, and then on an unspoken agreement we backed away simultaneously, returning to our spots at the table as First Down’s head whipped between us.
“So.” Grumbling as I looked at him, I crossed my hooves and rustled my wings. “You know who has it out for us?”
“Uh… well, thanks, Night, but she is kinda right to be mad.” First’s ears splayed back. “Things seemed fine at first. The guys were mad but not mad enough to do anything, then that hot shot transfer student joined the team, and everything went south from there. Don’t know what you did to him, but he heard a few of the others trash talking you, and, well… they all got to talking.” Shaking his head, First snorted and looked down with a frown. “A better question would be who doesn’t have it out for you on the team.”
“Great, just what we need.” Looking over the table, I started picking out little tokens until I had enough to represent the hoofball team. “A whole slew of angry jocks. At least it’s me they’re angry at. Things coulda gone real south real fast. Who’s the jackass behind it?”
First snickered a bit only to drop his smile as I turned to look at him. “Sorry. It’s just… the guy’s name is Crusty Catcher.” He snerked again, as did Scoots and Rumble.
“Wait, it’s Catcher? Really?” I looked between the table and First Down. “Didn’t peg him as being that smart or charismatic.”
“Actually, he’s crass as a sack of shit. He doesn’t need to be charIsmatic, though.” First grimaced and shook his head. “Dude may be a first year, but he’s already one of our best players. The rest of the team basically worships him as the next you.”
“Gee, how nice of them to remember just what Night was all about.” Silver rolled her eyes and tsked.
“Night is nothing like that piece of trash.” Something cracked as Diamond tensed every muscle in her body. I wasn’t sure what; I probably didn’t want to know.
“Hey, hey! Don’t look at me! I’m with you guys here!” First took a step back at the sheer livid fury blazing in my marefriends eyes.
“I’m not blaming you, First. You just happen to be between me and the door.”
Wuh-oh…
“Diamond, dear. You oughta wait until we have a plan.” I moved to rest a hoof on her shoulder. “I know you wanna beat the horse apples out of somepony, but if you go do that now, you’ll be the one in trouble.”
“Look at my mane and coat right now and tell me that piece of crust-catching filth doesn’t deserve swallowing my hoof.” Diamond’s gaze made even me flinch as her head turned to look me in the eye. “No! Even worse, tell me he doesn’t deserve it after dragging all your hard work through the mud. Have you heard the rumors going around? It’s only been a few days!”
My ears splayed as I retreated back a step. I had heard the rumors, and none of them were good, but beating up Crusty would only—
“See! He’s getting in your head! You’re letting him win!”
I didn’t quite flinch as she slugged my shoulder, but I did rear my head back in surprise. I tried looking to the others for help, though they were all silent, none meeting my gaze.
“He’s challenging you—making you look weak! And you’re just sitting there and taking it ‘cause the rules are the rules!” Snorting and stamping the ground, Diamond’s tail lashed hard enough to whip crack. “So if my knight isn’t gonna do anything about it, I am; I can only hope next time you’ll have the balls to do the same for me!”
“Diamond, please…. It’s just some rumors and hair dye. We need to be the bigger ponies here.” I reached out, biting my lip hard. My wings rustled as I debated restraining her, but any chance of that was lost when her tears hit me like a spear to the chest.
“Stop shrugging it off like it’s nothing! You were all gung ho about stopping him before when it was just random students in the crossfire! Where the fuck did that go?! I’d think getting stuck in a locker would only make you more angry!”
“I’m trying not to take it too personally.” I couldn’t help growling as I said it. “Getting too vindictive will make us no better than them. We’re stronger than them, tougher. We don’t need to stoop that low.”
“Oh, so that’s what you think, huh?” The yelling had trailed off into a raspy whisper as Diamond sniffed. “Night, I’ve never been so humiliated in all my life. Do you get just how awful it’ll be if I need to shave? I’ve been having bucking nightmares about what ponies will say. I’ve barely been able to get out of bed and out to school the last few days, because I can’t stand other ponies seeing me like this. And you’re just telling me to stand and take that?”
I stood there, squirming, silent, not knowing what to say.
“I’m going to bed. Night, get your priorities in order… please.” With a huff, Diamond brushed past me; I didn’t stop her—didn’t resist. There were too many whirling thoughts and feelings surging like a storm within me.
“Well, then.” Apple Bloom coughed into her hoof. “Maybe we oughta call it for the day? I’m sure if we give Diamond some time, she’ll be—”
There was a loud slam as Diamond reached her room, and with it, everything clicked.
“Don’t. Bother.” The room got a bit darker as I hissed the words out. “I know what needs to be done now.”
“Errr… you do?” Looking between the door and me, Apple Bloom gave a nervous chuckle.
“Mhmm.” I nodded slowly as a fang-filled grin cracked its way across my face. “Idiot that I am, I forgot the golden rule; the mare is always right.”
The fools better pray for the Nightmare to take them, ’cause the streets were gonna run dark with blood if I got them first.
“Awww, yeah, Night’s onboard the pain train!” Scoots grinned and pumped her hoof. “Those punks are gonna wish they were never born~ What’s the plan?” Rubbing her hooves together, she buzzed her wings and leaned in. “Whatever you want, I’m in.”
“Oh, no…. You misunderstand, Scoots. You guys don’t need to do anything but sit, watch, and bear witness.” Half-purr, half-growl, something in my voice caused her to pause.
“Uh… Night, you aren’t about to ignore your own advice and do something hot-headed, are you?” Rumble squirmed back a step.
“Hah, hot-headed? I’ve never felt so cool and calm in my life.” My grin cracked wider. “It’s all so very clear what I need to do. I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier.”
“And that is?” Silver’s half-smirk and arched brow were so emotive for her normally deadpan expression, it was as if she sensed Hearth’s Warming coming early.
And knowing her, it was.
“You’ll find out tomorrow. I need to make it all official—get the paperwork together.”
Silver snorted and rolled her eyes, muttering something about a ‘loon under moon.’ I had no idea what she was talking about, though. Me? Crazy? Never. I was a completely rational pony.
A calm, cold, seethingly sane individual.
Dad and I walked to school with a certain swagger in every step. There was something about the armor that just filled a pony with confidence.
Even still, he glanced at me with an almost imperceptible frown as we turned to take the final stretch. “You’re sure about this?”
“Sure as I can be.” My own face was still as stone.
“You don’t need to do this.”
“Did that ever stop Mom her first time?” My brow arched a few millimeters in proper guard fashion.
“Well…” Dad hummed and hawwed, looking for an excuse that wasn’t there. “…no, but that’s different. You aren’t gonna lose Diamond if you decide not to go through with it.”
“Dad… you didn’t hear her yesterday—didn’t see her. These buggers are a blight on both my honor and hers, and Nightmare take me if I’m gonna let them get away with it.” Deep breaths. Steady. “This is exactly what Schattenkrieg is for.”
“Mmmm… it’s that bad, huh?”
“Eeyup.”
Dad rumbled out a low chuckle, smiling wistfully and shaking his head. “I told your mother it was pointless to try. She should’ve known better.”
I tilted my head. “Oh? Why’s that?”
“Well, neither your mother nor I back down for stuff like this, do we? Either way you slice or dice it, it’s just not in your blood.” His grin grew and he clapped me on the back. “I can’t say I approve, but what does that matter, eh? You’re a grown mare now, and that means making your own decisions. Nightmother above, I mean, you’ve been able to call for Schattenkrieg for two whole years now. I’m honestly surprised it hasn’t come up yet. One of the first things I did after turning sixteen was get my ass hooved to me. Can’t even remember what I called it for.”
“Uncle Liquid ate the last of your birthday cake.” I smiled. “He loves telling that story.”
“Ah, right.” Dad nodded. “I was saving a slice for your mother, and he was hungover enough to think the note saying ‘For Morning Glory,’ meant it was for his morning glory.”
“Uh-huh. That’s why he loves that story.” Discord, damn it. Why was I giggling? “Even drunk as a skunk and hungover to boot, he beat you without breaking a sweat.”
“Aye, he did!” Throwing his head back, Dad laughed. “And we both got grounded big time for it! Me for being an idiot, and him for going along with it.” He sighed. “Your mother was so mad at me.”
“Good times, hrmmm?” I gave a momentary shadow of a grin before finally resuming a proper stoney scowl. “Still… you approve of that, but not this?”
“Oh, Tartarus, no!” Dad’s laugh grew only louder. “I fully admit I was an idiot there; you have way more reason to do this.”
“I’m sensing a but coming.” I stopped at the edge of the school field, waiting for him to finish.
“But—” Dad nodded in acknowledgement. “—your mother and I can feel the solfire burning through your blood right now, champ. You aren’t usually one to act on emotion; we don’t want you doing something you’ll regret.”
“Well, I’m gonna regret it more if I don’t do this.” Nopony was around; I was free to turn and hug him without breaking the intimidation factor. “But thanks.”
I led us across the yard and up the steps, sauntering into the school like I owned it. Everypony in the hall was right to pause as I entered, and they were even more right to swear under their breath when my Dad entered behind me, rumors going wild as we headed for the office. The third period bell rang as we went, and like a spooked herd our audience bolted for class. I continued on my way, however, and I clanged right up to the office in full battle rattle to calmly push open the door.
The secretaries blinked at me as I walked up to Principal Princeps’ office and barged in. For his part, the principal’s bluster died in his throat as I walked up with a stoney scowl to lay the finalized papers on his desk.
“I am reserving the hoofball field for tomorrow, Mr. Princeps.” Leaving Dad to take the response and run interference for what was coming next, I reached out to take the master microphone for the intercom system.
One last deep breath was all I allowed myself before flicking the intercom on and tapping the mic to get the attention of the entire school. “Oi. Listen up everypony, because I’ve got a few things to say, and I’m only gonna say them once.”
My ears perked at confused mutterings from the secretaries outside, and Dad’s quiet conversation with the principal suddenly turned much more silent and much more intense. Somewhere, I swore I could hear Abacus Finch’s switch snap hard enough to break in two, and I knew I was on the clock.
“Pretty much everypony in school should know the name Nightingale Mooncrest. I’d even like to think most of you remember me for more than a couple crummy sports games. That said, a few of you apparently need a reminder of what I actually stand for, so I’m here to clear up both that and some of the more recent rumors around me.
“You see, contrary to what the grapevine says right now, I was neither overpowered nor shoved into my locker, I was merely tricked. I got a little overconfident; it coulda happened to anypony, and if you don’t believe me, well, I’m about to offer you proof.
“My honor and the honor of my mate has been besmirched, and there is only one proper way to respond to such a crime in thestral culture. I, Nightingale Mooncrest, do hereby declare Schattenkrieg on those who attacked me and my friends.”
I couldn’t help but grin as the main office burst into scrambling at that. “For those who don’t know, Schattenkrieg is a traditional form of thestral ritual combat used to settle our differences. It is an old tradition. Very old. So old that if I wanted, I’d technically be free to ask for a duel to the death and get away with bloody murder.”
The scrabbling intensified, and there was banging on the door, but Dad just casually leaned on it and muffled the noise with his shadow.
“Thankfully, you all don’t need to worry about that yet.” I let that hang over the school for a moment before continuing with a wry chuckle. “So to those who attacked me and my friends, do not test my patience any further, and I promise not to escalate things; to those who wish for proof that I indeed still have the clout to keep the school bully-free, I will be showing up at the hoofball field tomorrow after school. You can watch me in action yourselves. And if nopony shows up to face me? Well, you’ll have proof my assailant is simply a coward and prankster too afraid to even face me in the light of day.”
Clicking the intercom off, I nodded to Dad and he eased his grip on the principal. For his part, Principal Princeps merely gaped at me, and so after another moment or two, Dad rolled his eyes.
“A bit too much edge, don’t you think?” He arched his brow.
“I’m doing what needs to be done,” I growled.
“Oh? Last I checked you didn’t need to—”
“Nightingale Mooncrest, open that door this instant!” Even reinforced by Dad’s shadow, the door buckled as Abacus Finch bucked it right off the hinges. It still stood in the shadow’s grasp, but there was little point in holding it further, so Dad sighed and gently set it and himself to the side so the Head of Discipline could enter.
The temperature dropped more than a few degrees as she entered silently, eyes blazing as they sucked all heat from the room. Half a broken switch was held in her lashing tail, yet she restrained herself with the door no longer shielding me. Her tail didn’t whipcrack; her hooves barely clicked; she simply stared with raw, unfiltered fury, and I glared right back, waiting for her to say something.
“What happened to leaving it to the proper authorities?” She pulled out a little, black book with big, reflective lettering in the title, and I had to exert a monumental amount of will not to wince as she opened it to write my name down on The List.
“Ma’am, say what you want, but I am the authority now.” My face was stone as glacier ground against mountain. “I stayed up all night to fill out the paperwork and send it out to the right ponies; you can give me detention for barging in and stealing the intercom, but you can’t stop the fight. Old as it is, the law is on my side here.”
Her glare swerved to Principal Princeps. “You aren’t seriously going to stand there and say nothing, are you?”
“O-o-oh, r-right…” Pulling at his tie, he gulped. “Well, I regret to inform you that you can’t just take the hoofball field, Night.”
“I have two backup locations—one at Princess Twilight’s castle, and the other in the bucking Everfree at the Castle of the Two Sisters.” I bared my fangs. “Would you prefer either of those?”
“You wouldn’t,” Abacus hissed.
“She did,” Dad sighed. “I’m the named judge and officiator. Trust me… she covered all her bases.”
“And you didn’t stop her?” She tsked. “Just what kind of father are you?”
I growled but stayed my ground upon feeling Dad reach through his shadow to mine to hold me back.
“Oh, trust me, Ms. Finch. Neither Morning nor I approve in the slightest, but she is right that the law is on her side. It’s a little murky since she’s challenging day dwellers—they aren’t obligated to respond or even acknowledge the challenge—but I can’t stop her from issuing it, and she knows that.”
Abacus narrowed her gaze until it was so focused with her ire she could have shot lasers. “She is going to regret this.”
“Oh, I know,” Dad chuckled wryly, looking down. “You think we didn’t try to talk her out of it?”
“I am doing this.” I stomped forward. “There’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Three months detention and a month of suspension, then.” Abacus tutted, tail finally lashing hard enough to whip crack. “See if I ever do you the kindness of leniency again, Miss Nightingale. I always figured you to be cut from a different cloth, but clearly you’re just as bad as the rest of the school’s ruffians.”
Turning, she trotted out of the office, and I felt very small next to Dad as she did so. Looking up at him, I tilted my head, ear flicking, and his smile did little to reassure me.
Half a league, half a sky, half a heaven onward; they climb to the dark of the moon. A solemn knight clad in armor both of body and mind, she soldiers ever onward, bearing black twisted metal and a stoney facade. Unflinching in the face of death, unyielding as they reach the Nightmare’s hold, there is no force—neither of moon nor of sun—capable of stopping her in her pursuit.
For justice will be hers.
“Uh, Equis to Night? You there?”
I blinked a few times as Diamond stirred me from my musings, the locker rooms otherwise empty. Her smile was relentless—not infectious, but unyielding as she drew me from my brooding with a chaste peck to the cheek.
“Yeah, I’m here.” A smile here, a nuzzle there. It was impossible for me to resist returning her affection in kind.
“You know, when I called you out the other day, I wasn’t really expecting you to challenge them all to a duel.” With a sly grin and a devious giggle, my marefriend nipped my ear. “But I do appreciate the thought.”
“Schattenkrieg gets called for a lot less in some of the colonies.” I glanced down, ears splaying. “I should have called it from the start, when they were only targeting me.”
“Pffft! You think that would have changed anything?” Diamond threw her head back and laughed. “These bullies have no honor, doofus. Maybe thestral ones do, but I bet you ten bits none of them even show up tonight. All this is gonna do is prove they’re cowards.”
“Maybe…”
Before I could even start to frown, Diamond slugged me in the shoulder, her hoof ringing off my armor. “No. None of that. You got out the armor just for me; wear it like it’s made to be worn.”
I hadn’t exactly worn the armor for her, but no reason to tell her that. Instead, I stood to attention and snapped off a salute, a statue in every way. Diamond’s shark-like grin could have given Sergeant Smiles a run for her money, and my marefriend circled me, humming and hawing and doing all manner of things as she inspected me.
She drew real close—far closer than any sane regulations would ever allow—and chuckled as my hackles visibly rose. Her breath sent goosebumps rampaging across me, and the no-good cheat kept brushing our coats and flicking her tail. It was bliss and torture all in one, because I knew if I moved it would end.
“Much better.” She finally pulled back with a titter and patted me on the shoulder.
“Would be so much easier if you didn’t cheat.” I could afford to neither sag nor sigh in relief.
“You know you love it, though.” Tweaking my nose, she winked at me.
“I will bite you.”
“Ooh, now there’s an idea, isn’t there?~” Arching her brow, Diamond ignored my growl and pecked me on the lips. “Save it for the arena, though. It’s almost time to shine.”
“How many are there?” Taking a deep breath, I tapped a hoof against the tiled floor.
“Well, the stadium is packed, but last I checked, the jackasses were still a no show.” Diamond shrugged. “Like I said, ten bits.”
“Did Finch show?”
“Oh, yeah.” Diamond’s grin grew twice as wide. “She’s absolutely brimming right now with a handful of other teachers. I think they’re here to step in if things go too far.”
Rolling my eyes, I gave a hard snort. “That’s Dad’s job, not that I expect him to need to do anything. I don’t plan on giving Crusty the chance.”
“On the bright side, Miss Cheerilee is here with her husband, so that’s at least two adults you know are here to support you.”
“You know that Miss Cheerilee would never want her students fighting.” I shook my head. “She’ll probably end up squirming and trying to hold herself back the whole time.” Flicking my tail, I allowed myself the tiniest of frowns. “Better get out there and get this over with, then.”
With a deep breath, I pushed towards the door and out into the hall, sauntering through the empty gym and out to the school field. I may have used just a little more force than necessary—I did blow the doors open with an audible slam, after all—but presentation was almost as important as actual strength.
My greaves flattened the grass as I strode over the field towards the bleachers. Both claws and wing blades were blunted with training enchantments as usual, but I didn’t mind. The spells lent a vague and ghostly shimmer to my weapons that added an air of deadly menace to them I liked; they were exactly the kinda showy that could end conflicts before they began, and whenever Mom finally let me remove them, the first thing I was gonna do was pay Miss Trixie to have her copy the effect.
My cuirass was a tarnished and twisted mess that teetered on the edge of regulation much like all the armor Aunt Mercy had given me over the years. Blackened and brushed with all kinds of charcoal and ash, it was splashed with all sorts of shades that made it look scorched by the sun itself. Twisted and slaggy spikes almost curled like horns as if they’d been twisted and warped from the heat, and if you looked at it side by side with a book of old Night Guard armors, you would eventually find the one mine was inspired by based on the spikes and the incredibly edgy hollow in the chest.
It was from just after Luna fell to the Nightmare, and the Night Guard were feeling rightfully rebellious. Taking on the armor was a way to maintain duty while not so subtly snubbing the Princess for cutting out the heart of their cause.
I liked it, as edgy as it was. Sure, it was a little much, but— Okay, it was a lot much. Aunt Mercy had gotten an illusionist to make the hollow appear like an endless pit surrounded by a fiery brand, after all. But it got ponies to shut up and stare. It showed others that I wasn’t to be messed with, and that alone had won me a few tournaments in the Junior Guard.
It served me well as I walked onto the battlefield, the whole school going silent as they stared. Most of them had seen the full armor once or twice, but it always caused a ruckus when I dug it out. Nothing compared to the sight of me sauntering up in the shadows of a dying sunset like a knight who had faced the full might of the sun and survived.
“Hah! Nice cosplay, neeeeeeeeeerd! No wonder you abandoned your team for games club!” Somehow, it didn’t phase Crusty in the slightest, though I took pleasure in the rest of my former ‘team’ looking much more uneasy. It didn’t last as Crusty pointed and laughed, emboldening the others to snicker and sneer.
Fangs grit, my temple twitched at his mockery, and I snorted before looking at Abacus Finch on the sidelines. “See that? It’s trash talk now, but that einzeller doesn’t have two brain cells to rub together and think about there being a time and a place. That’s what your students have to put up with.”
Finch bit her lip, her glower intensifying, but said nothing.
“Oh, wahhhhh, wah! Poor, little Nightingale! Did I hurt your feelings so bad you can’t even trash talk back?”
“The fact that you can’t tell how much I was insulting you is a pretty good indicator of just why you’re an einzeller.”
“Don’t know what that means. Don’t care.” Rolling his eyes, Crusty smirked at me. “The boys and I are just here to prove you aren’t as hot as you think you are. Not sure how the school can’t see it. You look like a lumbering LARPer.” His smile grew as the grinding of my fangs became audible.
“This armor is steeped in tradition as old as—”
“—your edgy, six-year old imagination?”
“—the Nightmare herself!” I growled, hoof pawing at the ground as the shadows stirred around me. “I doubt you could possibly understand just why it was forged so… edgily.”
“Because I’m a daydweller, huh?” He grinned. “And you think you’re just that much better than me?”
“No, because you’re an idiot, and I know I’m that much better than you.”
“Big words from somepony who’s all bark and no bite.” He took a step forward which prompted the rest of the team to do the same. “I’m not the one who abandoned my team or got shoved in a locker like a measly little mouse.”
“You want to see my bite, huh?” The school watched with bated breath as I too advanced, the shadows on the field growing just a tiny bit as the world seemed to darken. I wasn’t as good as Dad yet, and maybe I never would be, but the looks on their faces as their own shadows started to steam with darkness was rewarding in its own way.
Crusty was the only one unfazed, even having the gall to grin wider as he looked down. “Hah! Is that all you’ve got? A bit of smoke and mirrors? I bet you can’t even—”
The first hint of moon crept over the horizon, and with it the duel officially could begin. I didn’t give Crusty time to finish, reaching into my shadow and out of one of my foes’. It was one on, like, twenty. Fairness was long gone out the window.
Grabbing one of the three pegasi there—Gale Force, running back, cutie mark in heavy duty weather magic—I dragged him down into the dark and left him there, my own shadow keeping him company and making sure I didn’t lose him in the in-between.
I could feel him bucking wildly to try and escape my shadow’s iron grip, but there was little he could do but panic and waste his breath in the inky blackness. There was no air where I’d taken him. Rather than flying through the void, I had swam through a sea of shadows to reach him, my first victory assured once he either passed out or was left too tired to fight.
Brutal? Yes, but I had to clear the skies as fast as possible or there was a chance I might actually lose.
As I burst back out of the darkness—devoid of my otherwise busy shadow—it was to tackle the other pegasus and sock them hard in the gut. Breath was beyond important in flight, air flow and control was everything. Knocking the wind out of him allowed me to jump and take to the skies with only Crusty capable of following.
Of course, the unicorns peppered me with potshots. Their aim was even pretty good from all the practice they got passing their balls around. But their strength? Their will? Hah! None of them had the training to hit me harder than a ripe tomato. I would be lucky to earn a bruise if they didn’t up their game.
And Crusty? The hühnerblut wasn’t even taking off to chase me. He just stood there, smirking and waiting.
“What? Are you looking for a one-on-one?” He laughed. “I’m not stupid, you know. I know exactly how this all works. We’re a lot alike, after all.”
“I am nothing like you.” With a hiss, I dove for a unicorn, juking his attempt at a jab with a feint and shooting into his shadow to pop out and slug somepony else. Dodging and weaving, I was able to glance most blows off my armor, running up to buck an earth pony down and leap back into the air.
“Oh, so you aren’t trying to goad me into attacking you alone in the air?” The laugh got louder, grating in my ears as I flapped a little higher. “You aren’t exactly subtle about it! The intimidating armor, the trash talk, the ruthless force~ It’s a game to see who goads who into slipping up first.”
“I don’t need you to slip up!” I dove again only for Crusty to blur into motion. Freaking pegasi cheats. He was way faster than he looked, a gale of wind blasting him at me with just a bit of weather magic.
It was a textbook guard maneuver.
He. Had. Training.
I was caught so off guard, I could only blink as time seemed to slow. Crusty rammed me right out of the sky and sent me tumbling to the ground. Intercepting me before I could reach my target, the guano-guzzler landed a good, solid sucker punch. He let me push him away, didn’t follow up, and merely laughed at me as I took back to the skies.
“See what I mean, little wannabe~” His wings were spread, and his chest was puffed out. The stands had been shocked silent once more as Crusty killed the cheers I had been garnering.
Buck, that hoof had hurt. My head was throbbing, and all I could see was that tackle coming at me again and again as I retreated up into the air.
He. Dared.
That bully dared use Guard techniques against me?! He dared to defile everything they stood for?! That… that heathen! He thought he stood a chance just ‘cause he knew a few tricks?! He had the gall to compare himself to me!
My wings twitched, causing me to bob a little unsteadily in flight. The air around me started to darken as I sucked the light out of it, and I called my shadow back to me. Swooping down, I dumped the woozy and almost unconscious pegasus that came with her by dad before landing to advance with a stoney scowl towards Crusty.
The little potshots continued to glance off me, and not even the new massive and throbbing headache changed the fact they were but mosquito bites before my wrath. The rest of the team charged as their so-called ‘leader’ held back with a grin, but I batted them to the side be it by hoof or wing. Sliding into my shadow, dodging the worst of hits, I steadily advanced towards the grinning loon and swung.
He caught my hoof, his strength an even match for mine, chuckling as I was forced to back off once more when the hoofball team threatened to surround me. “That’s not going to work~ You can’t bully me into submission like you did the others~”
Fangs bared, I turned my attention to the others, too smart to waste breath on talking back. “Surrender now, or you’re first. I have no issues going through you all to get to him.”
“Hah! You think you can handle us all? Crusty is right! You really are full of—”
That one was the first to go. I grabbed him while my shadow grabbed another, and the two of us twisted to slam their thick skulls together. No mercy. No holding back. Their unconscious bodies made good shields as we flung them at the clump of unicorns and charged.
“It was a mistake to group up if you’re going to be a bunch of pansies.” I growled at them as they scrambled back. “This is what Dad calls a ‘Target-rich environment!’” Leaping between them, I shrieked loud enough that their ears flattened and their horns flickered, eyes screwing shut at the auditory assault. “‘Cause now I can do this!” My hoof lashed out to rap their flickering horns.
It was a beyond dirty trick, putting them through not just one but two forms of magical backlash. The poor foals had kept shooting until it was too late. They didn’t have the training to understand. Normal backlash was painful enough, but easy to avoid. So few unicorns failed to understand that was never the case in a fight. The horn was just another muscle in need of training, and without it, those idiots would probably have migraines for a week.
Maybe more since I wasn’t pulling punches.
Still, as the unicorns fell that left about five more earth ponies to deal with, and I leapt away to avoid the inevitable stampede. I almost got caught as Crusty tried to rush me again, but this time when we went tumbling I socked him.
He was off me in a whirl of wind before I could keep going, one hoof to his bloodied snout. Instead of whimpering in pain or flinching, though, he gave a wheezing laugh and wiped his hoof clean. “Good one.”
“Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!” Nightmother above, that laugh was so annoying by now—so taunting. Could he not just bucking learn his lesson?!
Two more earth ponies fell as I grabbed the lead charger and twirled him so another barreled right into his side. The impact slid me back a few steps, but I was able to turn the tables before I was toppled. Sinking partway into my shadow, I twisted to lock my hind hooves in place. Now anchored and rooted, I hefted the earth pony up and swung him like a bat, knocking the charger back with a yelp.
“Only three meatshields left.” I snorted and glared at Crusty.
“Make it two.” One of the three shook his head and bolted.
“Err… one?”
“How about none!”
And with the scrabbling of cowardly hooves, it was just me and Crusty left.
“What are you gonna do now without all your backup?” I panted as I stomped forward, chest heaving as I growled at my foe.
“I’m gonna win, of course.” Buck that guano-guzzling grin. It was begging for a lot more than just one punch. “Believe it or not, I already have.”
“Lies!” Blasting forward, I sent him tumbling with a punch.
He didn’t get up, didn’t run, didn’t fight. All he did was grin.
“Get up and fight me.” I kicked him as I got near. “That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? To pick a sunblasted fight!”
“Don’t need to anymore.” Damn that blood-boiling laugh. “I told you—” He gasped as I gave another kick, but it only made him laugh harder. “—I already won.”
“You call this winning?!” Hefting him up by his chest, I slugged him several times; something cracked. “Fight me, you bastard! This isn’t over until you admit you’ve bucking lost! Fight—”
As my hoof descended once more to silence the thrice-damned laughing, somepony caught it in their tempered iron grip. “Enough.”
“No! He hasn’t admitted defeat yet!” I tried in vain to pull, but there was no force save the Nightmare herself capable of stopping Dad.
“Night, stop.”
There was something in the tone and voice. It made me stop, made me listen. The crowd was silent, dead silent—save for a few quiet sniffles. I blinked, and it let me see just what I’d done to Crusty. His face was bruised and bloody as he gave me a broken smile and continued to laugh; he was missing not just one but several teeth.
I stood there, and my chest heaved not just with fatigue, but with anger, rage and a burning desire for more. I wanted— I wanted—
Crusty gasped in pain as I dropped him and stumbled back into Dad’s forelegs. The bully was just barely able to rise and sneer at me, slurring his words as he spoke. “I told you I already won. Go on. Say it. Tell the whole school I won! They all saw it! They saw what you’re really capable of!”
I didn’t dare look at the stands, instead mewling as I curled closer to Dad. His hoof was awkward as he patted me, his body tense. I could hear the rumbling growl trying to claw its way out of his chest.
“Got a quote for you, nerd. Tell me if you’ve heard it~ ‘You either die a hero, or you… you…’” I flinched at the sound of Crusty collapsing mid-sentence, teachers calling for paramedics as he finally stopped his awful laughing.
“‘…or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.’” Unable to face the school or Dad, I melted into my shadow and ran for home.
The yelling continued for hours; they were still yelling even as I curled up under my covers.
Except it wasn't at me.
Mom and Dad were fighting.... They never fought like this.
And it was over what I had done.
“We can’t just look the other way about this, Tempered!” Over and over… I’d heard that part three— no, four times from Mom.
“Discord damn it, Morning! I’m not saying we ignore it, I’m saying you need to think about—” And there was Dad rumbling like thunder.
“I don’t care that this is a thestral thing! Don’t say it again, Tempered! It’s not an excuse here! Lines were crossed; she needs to face consequences!”
That made me flinch and squiggle deeper in my bed.
“And I don’t care about your bucking consequences! I’m telling you she’s gonna punish herself enough as it is!” The house shook with more literal thunder as Dad stomped, making my ears flatten as I curled up tight with a whimper and a sniff.
“You think I don’t know tha—” Mom’s voice briefly blared louder as my door opened and closed, but then the darkness got a little deeper, and the yelling cut off into moon-blessed silence. There wasn’t really any noise as whoever it was trotted over—not even the soft thwump of clouds—but there was only one other adult it could be.
“What the buck are you doing in my room?” I somehow managed to pull myself up and glare, though the wet, snotty sniffle kinda ruined it. “Get out.”
“What? I’m not allowed to check up on my favorite niece?” Aunt Mercy’s grin was smug as a slug, though it paled in comparison to the sinfully slinky, Nightmare-black dress she was wearing.
“I’m not in the mood,” I growled. “Get. Out.”
“No.” Tail lashing, my aunt tsked and instead sat on her haunches. “Somepony needs to make sure you’re alright, and since Tempered and Morning are sizing their britches, I figured—”
“You figured wrong. Now, get out.” With a grunt, I pounded my hoof in the bed and turned on my side to brood.
There was silence for a time—no yelling—and it was far too good to be true.
Peek back around, I saw Aunt Mercy hadn’t moved. She sat still in the darkness, eyes glinting as she waited. I ignored her a bit more, then I peeked back.
She was still the same.
My tail lashed and my fangs gnashed, wings rustling as I returned to my thoughts. She would get bored and leave soon enough.
But as time went on, and the silence stayed, Aunt Mercy never seemed to move whenever I peeked back. She was still as a statue—disciplined, patient, everything a guard should be. She wasn’t—
I shivered and closed my eyes as I remembered just how angry I’d been.
“Please… I’m fine…. Go away.”
“No, you’re not fine, and I think I’ll stay here, thank you very much.” Aunt Mercy finally moved, if only to languidly stretch her wings and lounge out on the floor. “Was in the middle of getting ready to go on a hot date with your Mom when you busted down the door, bawling like a newborn pup. It’s only fair that I ruin your night if you ruined mine.”
“My night’s already ruined, thanks,” I deadpanned.
With a fanged cackle, my Aunt threw back her head. “Screeheehee! Oh, you say that, but I see a broody bat with a full night of teenage drama ahead of her~ You aren’t gonna keep that if I have anything to say about it.”
“Well, you don’t, so—”
“Oh shut it for a second and think, would you?” The glower was venomous enough to get me to shrink back. “I get that you have issues with me right now, but I’d be here regardless if I was your aunt or your mom. This has nothing to do with that.”
“Then why are you here?” I rolled on my back to look at the ceiling.
“Two reasons.” There was a soft snort followed by a tsk as Aunt Mercy scowled at the door. “First, I may love Tempered and Morning to pieces, but they should know better than to be doing all that hollering where you can hear. They’re lucky Pushing and the twins are being watched by that crazy witch who works at the bakery, otherwise I mighta had to sock some sense into them. Still might, honestly. Jury’s still out.”
With a heavy sigh, I rose up in protest only to flump face first into the bed. “Please don’t. There’s already been enough fighting today.”
“Yeah, I heard about you and those other idiots. Twenty to one odds? Good job, squirt. They had it coming.”
I tried to look up and scowl at her, but just couldn’t. She was right. They had had it coming. That wasn’t the problem.
“You know you give yourself too much shit, right?” A hoof gently touched my back; I didn’t pull away. “Your dad would have done the same thing at your age, and I would have, too. Even your mom would have done it, not that you’ll probably ever catch her saying so. It’s her job to make sure you don’t get in any crazy fights.”
The hoof gently pressed forward, not rubbing but just… sharing its presence. “And it's my job as the resident troublemaker to tell you that sometimes causing a ruckus is worth it.”
“I already know that.” I sniffed.
Hesitating, the hoof almost pulled back. “Then what is the problem?”
“Simple.” I huffed and snorted into the cloud covers. “Lines were crossed, boundaries broken. I didn’t protect the school from a bully; I smashed his face in because I wanted to see him hurt.”
Licking my lips, I gulped with a throat as dry as a desert. Little trails of tears caked my muzzle from where the salt stuck to my coat, and no matter how much I shoved my face in my bed it neither washed me clean nor slaked the thirst.
“He. Hurt. Diamond.” My fangs were bared as I said it, though I couldn’t tell if it was meant for me or Crusty. “He hurt all my friends just to get at me and prove a point, and it worked. Guards aren’t supposed to take things personally. We protect; we defend; we—”
“We breathe, soldier.” Aunt Mercy gave a hollow laugh from behind me. “We live and breathe. Don’t forget that. You more than anypony should know the Guard is much more than a bunch of emotionless statues. Don’t beat yourself up for being equine.”
I gloomily sulked into my clouds.
“Bah. Don’t wanna believe me? Fine, but you aren’t staying here tonight.” With sudden and jarring force, I was rolled off the bed. “Get up. We’re going stargazing.”
“Stargazing?” Blinking up at Aunt Mercy a couple of times, I then glanced towards my door. “What about—”
“Your Mom can eat me out all she likes when we get back. I don’t care. If she’s gonna be the strict mom, then I'll be the fun one.” Sweet stars of Luna that was one intense eyebrow waggle. “You’re so tense you’re like a spring about to snap. More than anything else, you need to unwind a bit so you can at least think about everything with a fresh perspective.”
“But I…” Stargazing did sound nice… too nice. But if I didn’t go and Aunt Mercy bailed, it’d just be me and the yelling again, so I gave a raspy gulp and slowly got to my hooves. “I’m not going without leaving a note.”
“Bah! Take all the fun out of it, then~” With a wing-covered snicker, Aunt Mercy flicked her tail.
It was just so carefree, I couldn’t help but glower as I moved to my desk and jotted a quick note for Mom and Dad. “Where are we gonna go, by the way? Whitetail—”
“Castle of the Two Sisters, of course.” The snicker turned to a snigger as I choked mid-sentence, my aunt arching her eyebrow sky high. “What did you expect? For me to choose some boring hill or treetops when you’re this close to somewhere so sacred? You know I’m not one to only go halfway. If I’m gonna risk pissing your parents off and ruining my chances, we’re at least going to the best damn spot I can think of.”
Staring at her for a moment, I took a few deep breaths and glanced towards the door again. “You’re less likely to ruin things if we go somewhere tame.”
“And? I’m guaranteed to not get in a pissing match if I abandon you here while Tempered and Morning have it out, but that’s not who I am.” With a grunt, Aunt Mercy bent down to arch her back and stretch her wings. “I run towards trouble, not away from it. Now let’s go already.”
She gestured to the wall, waiting for me with that smug little smirk of hers. Edging over, I rested my hoof on the wall, took one last deep breath, and pushed my way through to plummet to the ground below.
The sun had long since set. The town was quiet and dark. It was peaceful, though I feared it was nothing but the calm before the storm. The fight was too fresh, too vivid, too raw for everypony—including me.
What was gonna happen tomorrow after the school had a night to soak it in?
What happened when they got a real chance to talk?
They’d all seen it…. They’d seen just how far I could really go. That was… just what Crusty had wanted. When I closed my eyes, I could still see the crowd, dead silent and staring. I could still see Crusty, grinning up at me even when he was slumped and unconscious on the ground.
Bruised and battered…
Missing teeth…
Feathers askew…
And in the worst of my memories, his wing looked bent and broken.
I couldn’t remember hearing it snap. I never wanted to go that far.
Or maybe I did, and only now that I regretted it was I trying to hide those thoughts away. Maybe I was tormenting myself for nothing. Maybe his wing wasn’t broken, and I just wanted to make myself more of a monster than I was.
Fucking teenage drama. Discord damn it, Aunt Mercy was right.
As she landed beside me, I hugged her tight—squeezed hard enough to make her eyes pop out. Nightmare take me if those squeaky little choking noises weren’t the most adorable thing in the world; for once she was the one squirming and blushing black.
“Ack— Night— Air!” She scrabbled at the ground and tried to push away, but I was relentless in nuzzling her as I sniffled. “I get it! I get it! I’m the hottest thing since the sun itself, now back off.”
“Thank you…” I murmured as I obliged, moving to wipe the newest tears from my face, though I didn’t go too far even as Aunt Mercy got all over dramatic as she gasped for breath. “And stop faking. You gotta get used to that if you wanna be my mom.”
“I think you crushed a rib!” Aunt Mercy gave a faux gasp, collapsing and reaching for a nearby rose bush as she did. “Oh, Rosebud…”
Somehow, that got me to chuckle. “You’re spending too much time with Ms. Rarity.”
“Don’t blame me for being a hot piece of flank.” Aunt Mercy melted into her shadow only to hop right out and back to her hooves. All signs of weakness and blush were gone as she shook her rump and did very worrisome things with that slinky black dress she was wearing.
“Eww…” I stuck my tongue out, scrunching my face hard to stop myself before I could start staring. “Please save that for when you’re alone with Mom and Dad.”
“Screehee! I rather like being Ms. Rarity’s model, thank you very much. It’s nice to be appreciated for my confidence rather than getting another week of latrine duty from the brass.”
I could already imagine Dad waggling his brow and saying, ‘Confidence? So that’s what the kids are calling it these days.’ And no, we didn’t call it that, not by a long shot, but just the thought made me sigh and rub the bridge of my muzzle with one hoof.
“I should never have introduced you two.”
“Oh, don’t be like that. Rarity’s a blast.” Aunt Mercy waved her hoof. “She’s certainly better than that Pink monstrosity. Easily my first real friend here, not counting your parents.”
“At least you didn’t hit it off with the Pink Demon.” I shivered and looked to the sky, rustling my wings before taking off with Aunt Mercy to head towards the forest.
She flew point, because of course she would, though she did look back to grin at me as we went. “That’s because she’s too naive, too gullible, and way too childish for me.”
Rolling my eyes, I gave a snort and glanced at the moon to make sure we were going the right way. “Pretty sure your childishness is one of the biggest reasons Mom is gonna say no.”
Aunt Mercy tittered and did a roll, her dress somehow clinging as tight as a flight suit as we soared. “Screeheehee! I’m not childish. I’m rash and risqué. She’s rated PG for pink guano; I’m rated M for Mercy. There’s a big difference.”
“I’m sure there is.” I frowned at the sky. “Bank ten degrees to the right, by the way. We’re heading towards the forest but not in line with the castle.”
“‘I’m sure there is~’” The high-pitched squeak was weighted with enough air quotes to nearly drop it an octave. “Come on. Lighten up!” Aunt Mercy sighed as she nonetheless banked as ordered. “Whatever. No deadbeats allowed when we’re stargazing, though.”
“Does that mean I should go home then?”
“No, it doesn’t mean you shoul— Oh, ha ha. Very funny.”
“Take what you can get. I’m not really in a good mood.” Even saying it, I had a ghost of a smile flashing across my face. The breeze was nice, the stars were bright, and the smell of forest almost smacked us as we hit the edge of the Everfree.
It was just so calm and peaceful underneath the Nightmother’s blessed sky.
After that, we glided out in relative silence for a while, but I could see Aunt Mercy just twitching to say something. The almost pitch-black canopy passed beneath us with all manner of howls and roars. Skittering, slithering, buzzes, and bellows, all sorts of beasties hunted hungrily below us, and both of us swiveled our ears to keep track of it all.
There was a savage sort of rhythm to it—something wild and primal. It left my heart pounding and my nostrils flared; my eyes glinted and my fangs flashed in the light of the moon.
Maybe that was why I couldn’t help joining Aunt Mercy when she threw back her head to sing in the old tongue.
Screeing and reeing and calling deep into the night, our voices echoed with an empty silence—far too high in frequency for most creatures to hear. It was an old hunter’s hymn—more tall tale than not—telling of the great hero Eerie Eye and his labors of love. Long before the Nightmare and the Nightmother, before the reign of Discord or even the great exodus from the north, we sang a song from the time back when the world was new and wild, when all we had to look to was the moon.
She was said to be a spirit of unrivaled beauty, a white so pale it left frost and mist in the air. Cold and clever, she was a harsh mistress who taught us the value of discipline and might. All who saw her were stricken to their core, and whenever a poor foal sought her hoof the answer was always the same: they were to bring her the heads of her children.
There were twelve star beasts of unrivaled might, as well as many lesser beasts of stardust that formed as yet more tales and heroes were born. To bring the moon one of each and every one was an impossible task only the mightiest hunter could ever hope to accomplish.
Thus came the tale of Eerie Eye, the one foal both strong enough and stubborn enough to prevail. It took many years and many tales and many songs, so much so that even an hour of gentle gliding left us nowhere near complete, and as our destination loomed before us, we continued on as we found a pair of gargoyles to perch with.
It was… nice.
We watched the stars to find each beast as it was hunted, and we circled the castle to pick new perches whenever we tired of our current ones. Baiting and feinting each other, Aunt Mercy and I would play games of cat and mouse whenever we took off. Two predators tested to see which hunter might become the hunted, though neither ever came out on top.
Simple. Instinctual. Thoughtless.
There was no concept of worry as I followed the song and revelled in the life of a hero passed. His journey was more important in the moment, not mine; his story was the one worth spinning, if only for the night.
And like a music box, I could feel my insides unwinding as we went on and on. Muscles I hadn’t realized were clenched and knotted slowly released their grip. My ears and eyes started to droop, while my head woozily wobbled.
The last thing I remembered was curling up and nuzzling into Aunt Mercy’s wing as I hummed my way off to the dreamlands.
It was sometime near dawn when I groggily stirred to the flapping of wings and the heavy hoofsteps of Dad landing nearby. A quick and bleary blink out from under Aunt Mercy’s wing showed his shaggy coat was unkempt and messy, while big bags hung under his eyes.
He was smiling, though. Or at least he was trying.
“Well, well… Aren’t you two just the cutest thing together.”
“Her? Maybe. I don’t do cute.” Aunt Mercy’s wing clutched me tighter. “But somepony had to step up while you and Morning were bitching at each other.”
“Aye, you did good, Mercy, though you could have picked a better spot.” Dad chuckled and laid beside us, spreading a wing over us both.
“Mrgmrff…” Burying my head under Aunt Mercy’s wing, I pretended to go back to sleep even as my ear still perked and swiveled.
“Pfft! We both know that’s a lie.” Aunt Mercy threw her head back and laughed. “But we’ll pretend it’s not. What are you and Morning gonna do about it?”
There was a pregnant moment of silence where only the sounds of the forest could be heard. “…Nothing.”
Wings rustled around me, making it hard for me not to squeak. “Screeheehee! Called it! And what did you two finally decide, hrmmm?~”
“We…” The silence was deafeningly painful as I felt Dad tense beside me. “…didn’t. There’s still a lot to figure out. A lot of what happens depends on her.”
He rested a hoof on me and I tensed. “You ready to talk, champ?”
“Mrgmrff…”
“You know, neither your Mom nor I blame you. I…” The hoof almost pulled back only to press closer. “…know it probably sounded like it, but you put us both in a real pickle—your mother especially. Your mother is one of the few day dwellers who gets schattenkrieg. Hay, she’s taken quite a few guano-guzzlers to the ring for us. She understands what you did, and I need you to know that, because your Mom is also the one others are gonna be questioning the most. She’s the day dweller in the family, so she’s the one they’re all going to think should have put her hoof down hardest to stop you.”
“Mrgmrff…” I squirmed, and after a few more moments of silence Dad pulled his hoof away.
“I should have been home more this past week.” Aunt Mercy shifted beside me. “I bet you I could have convinced her not to go through with it.”
“Hah! Don’t lie.” The world shook as Dad gave a big bellowing laugh that made even the forest fall quiet. “You would have been psyching her up for it the whole time. I’m kind of glad you were so busy with Rarity.”
“Yeah, well… I don’t think any of us expected things to go so far.” With an imperious sniff, Aunt Mercy’s tail lashed, kicking up a few pebbles near us and sending them plummeting off our little rooftop perch to the ground below.
“No, we didn’t.” Dad sighed. “I mean, I expected something to go wrong, but not this. You know the unspoken rule.”
“Aye. Everypony who’s anypony regrets their first schattenkrieg.” Stroking me with her wing, Aunt Mercy leaned down to kiss my forehead. “You should have pushed her to get a taste of real blood long before now.”
“Morning wouldn’t let me, and I don’t blame her for trusting the Junior Guard to be enough. I was stupid enough to hope a real duel just might not ever come up.”
“Just ‘cause she acts mature doesn’t mean she’s the perfect little guard.” My aunt tsked.
“Damn it, Mercy. You think I don’t know that? I was the one trying the hardest to stop her.” The world shook again for different reasons; Dad heaved the biggest sigh I’d ever heard, and it left me shaking between him and Aunt Mercy. “Morning trusted Night to do what was right, even if she was nervous. I was the one who didn’t share that faith….”
A little part of me died inside at those words.
“Maybe if I had, none of this would have happened.”
“Oi!” There was the telltale thunk of hoof on skull. “What kind of backwards ass thinking is that?!”
“I… I don’t know?” It was hard to tell if it was Dad or I who sniffed first. “I could’ve done something different? I could have explained things better? Convinced her it was a bad idea or made her realize just how deep in it she was? She’s mature enough for that. I know she is. If I’d just found the right words, she would have taken a step back to look and see she was taking things personally.
“But I didn’t.”
“Mrgmrff!” No! Please! Don’t! Why would you— Discord damn it! It’s my fault, not yours!
The world quailed as another sigh rolled forth. “I didn’t find the words, and maybe if I’d had more faith in you, Night, I would have.” The hoof was back and I trembled beneath its touch. “In the end, I chose to watch thinking it best you learn this lesson the hard way. If I was a better Dad, you wouldn’t have needed to.”
“S-stop.” In the wake of my voice, there was quiet. Dad’s thoughtful hum trailed off, while Aunt Mercy’s scathing retort died in her throat with a hiss. “Please… It’s my fault. It’s all my fault…. It has to be.”
“Why would you— Night, if I had known he was going to provoke you like that, I would never have let you go through with it. I would have taken you to the ring myself to win the right to put that schweinehund in his place.” What grey light of dawn managed to bleed over the horizon and through the wing I hid under vanished as the world grew dark and Dad gave a feral growl. “No pony deserves the horseapples that piece of guanoput you through. Please don’t blame yourself for losing control.”
“I have to.”
“Why?!”
“Because if it’s not all my fault, then I have to listen to the tiny voice inside of me that wants to blame everypony else.” I shivered and sniffed as an image of Diamond floated past my eyes. Suddenly, hiding beneath Aunt Mercy’s wing with my eyes closed was the greater evil, and I finally pulled my head out to look at Dad. “So please… let me have this? It’s easier if it’s just my fault.”
Dad’s sides heaved as he growled and grappled against some unseen foe. His scowl twisted and snarled, and his eyes screwed shut as he snorted steam in the cool autumn air.
“Ragger, shtagger, fragger, dagger! Nightmare take that filthy son of a wombat!” Pounding the little bit of castle we perched on, a chunk of stone cracked free to fall to the depths below. He was gone before either Aunt Mercy or I could say anything, melting into his shadow and slithering away to find his own spot to brood.
It was a loud and angry brooding, with wood cracking and beasts howling; his bellowing roars and curses were matched only by the pained shrieks of whatever poor unfortunate fodder got in his way, hunters quickly getting mulched into the hunted under his wrath.
His horrible, familiar wrath.
It was too much too soon, and as I whimpered into Aunt Mercy’s side, she tsked and pushed my sunglasses on. Nudging me up, she took point in the air once more, and I followed, not really caring where we went.
“Do you know what I hate the most about being a parent?” Mom’s words sliced through the air as Aunt Mercy and I crept back in the house. Quiet, tired, listless, they still managed to cut me as Mom lounged in her chair, swirling a goblet of ice water. “I hate always having to play bad cop when shit hits the fan. I love that lunkhead to death, but he’s just way too soft with you and the twins.”
I didn’t— What?
“Mom… are you alright?” I squirmed as I took a step forward, wishing I could stuff my head in the floor.
“Depends on what you mean by ‘alright.’” Mom chuckled and took another sip.
“You’re, ummm, lookin’ a bit scary right now.” Rustling my wings, I looked away.
“I am talking to you as an adult right now, not your mom.” Mom snorted and kicked back in her chair. “You know the old cliche of heading to a bar and griping about the job? Parenting is a job like any other, and I may swear off salt and booze to give you a good example, but I got to thinking after Tempered left to find you and got to wondering how much better it would be to start this conversation not as mother and daughter, but as one adult to another.”
“Ummm, well, it’s kind of awkward, so…”
Mom snorted again before pouring both me and Aunt Mercy a glass from the pitcher on the coffee table. “Sit down—both of you.” She squinted at Aunt Mercy and pointed down. I needed no such gesture to comply. “Maybe it is awkward, Night, but honestly, I feel it’s important. You are an adult. I don’t care what the school or everypony else’s parents think. Tartarus, you were easily an adult way before you turned eighteen this summer. Law has nothing to do with the fact that you are—for the most part—more of a mature and responsible pony than many adults, and so I, for better or worse, hold you to a very high standard.”
My mouth ran dry as I opened it, but Mom narrowed her eyes at me and I took a sip of water instead.
“It’s not the same standards you hold yourself to by any means, but when you explained to me and your father what you were doing, I decided to trust you.” What was it with my parents and twisting the knife by sighing today? “Did I try to convince you not to go through with it? Yes, but when you didn’t listen, I trusted you to be the mature adult you are and not let your personal feelings get in the way of justice.”
“Tsk. It’s not her fault, Morning.” Aunt Mercy scowled from beside me in her ruined dress, her hind hooves up and on the coffee table as she sipped her water.
“I know that, Mercy.” Mom narrowed her eyes and scowled in kind. “I still have a right to be disappointed in my daughter, though. She’s far more of an adult than Tempered or I were at her age. I expected her to swallow her pride and do the right thing.”
My heart both soared and sank at Mom’s praise; I didn’t know what to say.
“And what is the right thing, huh, Morning? It was twenty to one odds! What was she supposed to do?!”
Aunt Mercy, however…
I suppose it was a good thing goblets couldn’t smash from slamming them down into cloud. My aunt had her wings flared as she leaned in to bare her fangs before Mom, but Mom didn’t even blink. She just stewed in silence and stared into her swirling cup. For a few seconds, the only sound was the tinkling of hailstones in rainwater.
And then Mom took a deep breath.
“What do you think happened after you pranced into school to declare schattenkrieg, Night?” She gave me a level look, though the bags under her eyes kind of ruined it.
“Ummm… well, I went whole ham, so I guess a lot of students probably talked when they got home.” Biting my lip, I looked away. Getting them to talk had been part of the plan, but now that Mom asked?
“Oh, they talked about it, alright.” Mom gave a morbid chuckle. “I didn’t get any work done yesterday because I was swamped with reassuring the ponies who didn’t know you well enough to trust you. Concerned parents, teachers, and even a few sneaky students, I had them all. Quite a few were rightly concerned after hearing the words ‘duel to the death’ and ‘bloody murder.’”
“Oh…” My ears splayed back. “But it’s not like I actually wanted to—” I paused, bit my lip, and then decided it was best not to continue.
“No, no you didn’t want any of this.” Mom nodded as if I hadn’t cut off. “They couldn’t tell that, though. I had parents all day, while the teachers came in groups during their lunches. There were much fewer students, but those there risked sneaking out of class precisely because you had helped them with bullies before and they were worried.
“I told all of them what I’m telling you—that you are a mature adult who knows better than to let her emotions get the better of her. I told them that if it came down to a fight, I trusted you to hold back, and if there was no fight? Well…”
I shifted in my seat, unsure if I should ask what suddenly needed to be asked. “W-what do you mean if it didn’t come down to a fight? I couldn’t just— They were—”
As I started hyperventilating, Mom hugged me and waited until I was merely squirming. “It probably comes as no surprise that Abacus Finch was one of those who showed up, does it? The spiteful hag was quite insistent on seeing the books detailing schattenkrieg, and she didn’t have time to go through them all. I had to spend at least an hour giving her a crash course to show her exactly why she couldn’t punish you or those you fought so long as the schattenkrieg stood.”
“Yeah, well, she certainly punished me for commandeering the intercom.” I couldn’t help but frown, even if it was short-lived.
“Perhaps, but that isn’t why I am bringing her visit up.” Squeezing me with a wing, Mom rested her forehead against mine and gestured with her other wing for Aunt Mercy to join in. “You are an adult, and I expected you to behave as such. When it became clear she could do nothing, Abacus was going to have nothing to do with your fight, but I convinced her it was in her best interest to make sure she and all the other teachers she could get showed up.”
Whuh? But… Why?
I pulled back, blinking at Mom bemusedly, but she dragged me right back in the hug with a tsk. “Don’t give me that look. You know the answer. I already said I expected you to swallow your pride and do the right thing.”
“That doesn’t explain anything.” With a sniff, I dared to give Mom a frown.
“It doesn’t?” Mom gave a sad smile. “Schattenkrieg protects the bullies you were fighting as much as it protects you. It may be resolved by Trial by Combat, but what you did is still a civil suit at its heart, isn’t it? Bully or not, in choosing to accept and fight you, Crusty and the others waived the protection of certain day dweller laws and gained the benefits of thestral law.
“They had a right to defend themselves from you and win or lose the act of dueling itself meant that the matter was effectively resolved unless there was an appeal. Finch couldn’t punish you or anypony involved—both for the duel or whatever it was about.” Shaking her head, Mom drained the last of her glass and filled a new one.
“That all only applies if the duel happens in the first place, though.”
My eyes widened as I finally saw what Mom had been hoping for.
“Get the bullies all together, right in front of a crowd with students and teachers as proof? In showing up, they essentially admitted to everything. Only schattenkrieg protected them, Night. If you had just backed down and let the proper authorities handle things…
“…all of this could have been avoided.”
“But… but…” My brain scrambled for a response—anything I could use as an excuse. “They’d still have been protected even if I had backed down! That’s how it works! Showing up isn’t admitting guilt!”
Mom gave a big and heavy sigh. “Maybe for thestrals, but once there is no schattenkrieg they’re back to just being day dwellers. I can’t blame you for not knowing that, though. At the very least, that is my fault here. For once, I was the one expecting too much of you. I’m still disappointed that the fight escalated so far—angry even that you broke my trust—but I can’t and won’t blame you for not knowing something so small.”
“Yeah? Well, you can certainly blame that Finch bitch for not telling her.” Aunt Mercy growled and squeezed me a little too tight for comfort. “I get you having faith in Night, but she sounds like a manipulative ass.”
Rolling her eyes, Mom groaned and stood up. “She is. That’s why I didn’t give her specifics; I wanted her to be there but not to meddle, so I just told her I figured Night had an ace up her sleeve. I bet on it even just to bait her into going and proving I was wrong.”
“Oh?” Mercy giggled and waggled her brow. “What did you bet? A night with the boy toy like you used to do with me?”
Woah. Way too much info, Aunt Mercy.
Leaning back, Mom arched her brow. “First off, you are the only one I ever made that bet with, and it was only when you were being an idiot.”
“Hey!”
“And second, you may not have met the mare, but ewww. I would not risk Tempered touching that for all the bits in the royal treasury.”
“But there is a price for me, then~” Fangs flashed in a hungry grin.
“If that’s what you want to think, I won’t stop you.” Mom’s smile was small as she shook her head.
“Ummm…” I bit my lip before nudging Mom. “You did bet something, though? W-what was it?”
“Oh, nothing much. It’s pretty boring as far as bets go.” Mom waved a hoof and rolled her eyes. “Finch doesn’t have a creative bone in her body. All she wanted was my support on a few things I was mostly gonna vote for anyways.”
“Mostly?” I couldn’t help pouting.
“Yeah. Better security I’m all for, but uniforms and enforced mane cuts?” With a tsk, Mom shook her head.
With a small gasp, I leaned in. “But Mom, why would you not want that? There is nothing like a mare in uniform.”
“How did I know you’d say that?” With a chuckle, Mom ruffled my mane. “And that certainly is true—so long as the uniform is decent to begin with. Do you trust Finch to give the school a decent uniform?”
“No….” My ears splayed back as I looked away. “Knowing her, we’ll end up looking like sacks of lumpy cement. But uniforms are about more than the looks. You know that!”
“Mhmm.” Mom just smiled and nodded. “I went to boot camp, same as your father. We know the drill even better than you, but how many of your friends do, hrmm? The Junior Guard is not so cruel as to crop your manes and dye your coats. How many friends are going to hate it if that gets passed?”
Oh…
Mouth hanging open slightly, I tried to come up with a response, but Mom had pretty much hit the nail spot on the head. “Well, what did she bet back then?”
“Not that it matters now, but I tried to get her to rescind your suspension.” Mom sighed. “Though, now that we’re on the topic of punishment, I would like to discuss exactly what the school board, your father, and I agreed on.”
“O-oh?” Squirming once more, I shrunk away from Mom and into Aunt Mercy’s wing.
“Mhmm.” There was no malice, just a small, tired smile. “Something has to happen, Night. You know that.” She held out an open letter. “And I gotta hand it to the school; for twelve hours, no sleep, and an extra-bitchy Finch, your father and I mostly agree with what they decided.”
“But they can’t—”
Mom shook her head and I closed my mouth. “They are not punishing you or the hoofball team for the fight itself, but you scared the horseapples out of them with this stunt, Night. They called an emergency meeting at around midnight last night, and they politely dragged your father and I in to review their options. Much like we did with Finch, your father and I made it clear to them they couldn’t get involved with your dispute, but they do have certain options we advised they take.”
W-wha— Huh?
Betrayal!
I reared back as if struck. It made so much sense, and yet… Why did that hurt so much?
There was a gasp from beside me, then a growl—a flash of movement heralded a smack as Aunt Mercy rose to slap Mom with one wing. “You backstabbing bitch! She went out of her way to do things right and—“
“—and she did not carry through when it mattered most.” Sparing only a moment to glower at Aunt Mercy, Mom sighed and reached out with a wing to wipe my cheeks as the sniffles started anew. “Tempered and I talked about it on the way there and decided working with them would be best. If we were the only ones to punish Night, it would send a very negative message about thestral culture and tradition. There still aren’t that many thestrals in Ponyville, but it would be a disservice to them to not make sure the town understands what happened yesterday is not what schattenkrieg is about.”
“A real schattenkrieg wouldn’t have some dishonorable guano-guzzler goading his opponent into a sunblasted rage!” There was thunder as Aunt Mercy brought her hoof down on the coffee table. My ears splayed back as I looked between her and Mom, my tail tucked between my legs as I sat there.
“I distinctly remember you calling me a hühnerblut when we first fought, Mercy.”
“Yeah, and I was a hot, steaming pile of guano back then, too, if you remember!” My aunt snorted and tossed back her ice water to chomp on the ice. “A little name-calling and mind games is one thing—this idiot wanted Night to lose her cool.”
“Be that as it may, the fact is many parents and teachers are going to want to see action taken.” Morning shook her head. “Tempered and I both agreed on this, Mercy, so back down.”
“Just tell me my fate.” It was my turn to give a great, world-shaking sigh and sink into the floor.
Humming softly, Mom took a sip of her water and sat back again. “Well, first things first, we got the board to agree Finch’s punishment for commandeering the intercom was too extreme and that it was important to lump that in with the stuff they could punish you for—which is disrupting the school and student body. You didn’t need to make the fight public, and there are already a few students who approached the school counselor after the fight.
“Rather than blaming either side in particular for this, it’s been decided that it’s best to hold both you and the hoofball team accountable for this. While they found your suspension sentence extreme for taking control of the PA, they found it perfectly fitting as a starting point for you and the hoofball team, so everypony involved with making the fight as public a spectacle as it was is now getting the one month suspension and three months detention.”
Aunt Mercy’s eyes narrowed as Mom took another breath, and her tail lashed as if looking to pounce.
“As the so-called instigator of the fight, they want you to make a speech apologizing to the school as a whole. Your father and I could have fought that; we didn’t, knowing you would likely want the chance to do that anyways.”
The eyes narrowed further as Aunt Mercy let out a small hiss. It was nice to see her so worked up, but now really wasn’t the time. Scooching over to her, I nosed under her wing and cut off any attempts to go for Mom again.
“And finally…” Mom set the letter down on the coffee table. “…everypony involved needs to write a letter of apology to each other—non-negotiable if they want their suspension to end.”
I went from holding Aunt Mercy back to holding her back by the tail—not because she rushed Mom but because I was suddenly shrinking away as I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. They wanted me to… To him?! To the son of a sun witch who hurt Diamond?! Like he would ever apologize to me!
Mom rolled back to watch the ceiling, unable to look at me much like I could barely bring myself to peek at her. “Your father and I have mixed feelings there, but at the very least we want you to apologize to the rest of the hoofball team. Night, if you really want to stand your ground against Crusty when the time comes, well… I’ll be getting plenty of practice homeschooling you as it is.”
Say what? I couldn’t help raising my gaze and keeping it raised.
“You didn’t think I was going to leave you home alone to brood, did you?” Mom’s smile was warm as she looked back down. “Oh, no, missy. That might as well be a reward for edgy, dark-lurking ponies of the night~” For just a moment, that was enough to elicit a giggle from all three of us, and it cut so much of the tension that it felt like a weight was being taken off my shoulder. “I have more than enough leave saved up to take a month off.”
“Thanks.” As much as I would have loved a month to brood, Mom’s gesture made me smile. “I’m assuming there will be all kinds of extra work?”
“It’s a good opportunity to teach you some stuff your father and I seemed to have missed.” Mom coughed. “Both physical and mental.”
That sounded kinda suspicious. “You mean—”
Mom held out a hoof. “Not a word to the school, but yes, I will be teaching you more guard techniques because of this. That and some lessons on how to handle the more crafty scum you may have the misfortune of facing. Ponies like Crusty are probably the most dangerous opponents you will ever have; learning not to let their words get to you is important.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You aren’t perfect, Night. No pony is.” Mom leaned in for a hug and a nuzzle. “You are lucky your father and I don’t believe in an ‘all work and no play’ philosophy, though. No friends on weekdays, but you are allowed Saturdays to see the girls, and we will let you keep your date nights on Sundays with Diamond.”
“R-really?” I looked at Mom wide-eyed, then sniffed and hugged tighter. “I expected a lot worse.”
“Oh, it’s going to get worse.” Mom’s chuckle was hollow. “Just not because of you or me. I bet you ten bits that somepony is gonna try to petition and mess with the school’s ruling. There are gonna be a lot of unhappy parents.”
“Yeah, well, try bullying their snot-nosed kids and see them change their tunes.” Aunt Mercy snorted.
“Aunt Mercy…” I sighed.
“I mean, if they just knew what it was like and why it’s important to fight back, you wouldn’t have as many little, manipulative guano-guzzlers.” Throwing her mane back, my Aunt sniffed. “Fights show you aren’t gonna just sit there and take things. They’re important in establishing any pecking order. When I got in fights in the undercity schools, they picked us up, dusted us off and asked what we learned and why.”
“I kept the school bully free for years without actually having to fight.” Kicking the cloud floor, I frowned.
Aunt Mercy gave a tittering cackle. “Screeheehee! You serious?! From what you told me in your letter, there was all kinds of fighting in your first year, just not the physical kind.”
“I guess when you say it like that….” I squirmed and looked down.
“Of course, I’m gonna say it like that! Auntie knows best!~” Puffing her chest out, Aunt Mercy thumped it with a hoof. “Now then, Morning! We’re done with the small potatoes, you owe me a date!” Said hoof was just as suddenly thrown out at Mom as my Aunt’s fangs gleamed with a predatory light.
Mom and I both blinked, looking at each other then back to my Aunt.
With a huff, my Aunt beamed at us with overly bright fangs. “Oh, don’t give me that look, you two! I’ve earned it! I modeled a bunch for Rarity to get us each a dress. I’ve been doing odd jobs all over town to have the bits to give us a night on the town! I got us a reservation at some fancy unicorn restaurant that I can’t pronounce, and I was a responsible parent who took care of Night last night while you and Tempered bitched each other out!”
“Mercy, I look like shit; I haven’t slept.” Mom took a deep breath before she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “And the same goes for you from the looks of it. Do you know what Rarity is gonna do to you when you bring that dress in for repairs?”
“She’ll ask for all the saucy details which I’ll give her as she makes a new one!” With a tittering laugh, Aunt Mercy gave us a guano-guzzling grin. “Half the reason the dress is so slinky is because she made it to be torn.” Damn that witchy, bitchy unicorn. “Come on! We could both use some fun after last night! You know I’m right!”
“Mercy, I…”
“Go take a nap, Mom. I’ll make sure she keeps it small and quiet.” This time it was me giving Mom the hug before I took her goblet and nudged her towards the hall. “She’s right. You both deserve a little something.”
Mom danced away only to pause when she opened her mouth. “You promise it’ll be small?”
“Homemade soup, salad, and sandwiches, tops.” I gave my most rigid salute.
Mom gave a small flickering smile before yawning. “That does sound nice. We can break out a bottle of wine and give Mercy a taste of the ‘royal reserve.’ What about the twins, though?”
“I’ll pick them up from school and watch them myself if no pony is available. It’s not like I can hang with the girls.” My stoic facade cracked just a little, but I held it for Mom.
“Mmmmm…” Mom swayed a little as she hummed. “I suppose you can. Send Mercy to pick them up, though. I don’t want you leaving the house for the next few days.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Even as I nodded, I wilted inside a little. “Do you have any preferences for dinner?”
“Surprise me.” Mom chuckled softly as she shuffled down the hall. “Better yet, let your Aunt decide. She’s trying to do things the right way this time, might as well give her a little test.” There was an audible flump almost as soon as the door to Mom’s room closed, and a long satisfied moan gave way to soft snoring almost immediately.
“Let me get this straight.” Arching my brow at Aunt Mercy, I leaned back on my haunches and crossed my forehooves. “Mom wants simple, and you want to go hunting mandraboara?”
My aunt grinned at me like a loon under moon. “To be fair, they make great sand—”
“No.” I held a hoof out to stop her, frowning as I puffed out my chest. “She said simple, so we’re keeping things simple. She needs a break after yesterday.”
“You need a break too!” My aunt nudged me, only grinning wider.
“Stargazing was my break and you know it.” I snorted. “Don’t be dumb about this. Besides, Mom doesn’t want me to leave the house.”
“Fine.” With a roll of her eyes, Aunt Mercy chuckled and sauntered to the kitchen. “Let’s see what you’ve got in the fridge.”
I followed her down the hall and up to the smooth cloudstone appliance. Walls of snow packed tight into ice lined the box, and it was stuffed with all sorts of goodies we could use.
“Cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts… a few fresh cabbage heads… carrots…” The rustling intensified as Aunt Mercy dug deeper. “Where the buck are the potatoes?”
“Uh… Aunt Mercy?” I poked at her and pointed to the pantry. “Potatoes aren’t usually something you refrigerate—at least, not the ones you peel.”
“They aren’t?” She blinked back at me. “You mean those sacks of potatoes I always got stuck peeling back in the guard weren’t just to discipline little piles of guano like me?”
“Uh, no?” My ear flicked and I tilted my head.
“Huh… well, what my fellow guards don’t know won’t hurt them.” She tittered like mad as she moved over to heft up a sack of potatoes.
“Do I even want to know?” I tsked and arched my brow.
“No, no, you really don’t. The things I did to those potatoes out of spite…” She sighed. “Good times. Good times.” Before I could let my curiosity get the better of me, she flashed her fangs in another smile. “I got a great idea for something simple I learned on a stint in the Griffish Isles. Real simple to cook if you got a slow cooker. All we need is pickled brisket!”
“Aunt Mercy… you know how hard it is to get anything other than fish and bugs…. Mom won’t even eat it!” I stomped and frowned, careful not to stir up any thunder.
“I’m sure she’d enjoy the cabbage, carrots, and potatoes, but fine.” With a huff, she went back to digging through the pantry. “Maybe something with rice, then.”
“How about just soup and salad?” I edged forward to gently shut the pantry on her.
Aunt Mercy’s voice shifted up as she whined. “Really? But that’s boring!”
I nodded and patted her on the back. “It’s also simple.”
“But there’s plenty of simple stuff that’s not boring!”
“Is any of that stuff gonna be something Mom will like?”
Her pause was long, awkward, and oh-so-very pregnant.
“Well?”
“I’m thinking! I’m thinking! I’m sure there’s something, but I’d have to go shopping!”
Rubbing the bridge of my muzzle, I tsked and rustled my wings. “Mom did say to let you decide…. Fine. You can go shopping while I start some soup as back up, alright? Drop your dress off at Carousel Boutique, and get back here so we can start and make sure things are ready by the time you need to go pick up the twins.”
“On your orders, captain~ I’m gonna give your mom a meal she’ll never forget.” Giving me a lazy salute and a cocky grin, Aunt Mercy sauntered out of the kitchen.
Rolling my eyes, I gave a tiny smile as it was my turn to shuffle through the fridge and pantry. I started with the broccoli and carrots, pulling them out and taking them to the cutting board. Pulling out one of the bigger knives, I started chopping them up into large chunks, falling in the rhythm much like I would striking a training dummy.
My mind wandered as I chopped, and it probably was inevitable that the fight with Crusty came to mind. The knife glinted like the bastard’s cocky smile, and that made me grunt and chop all the harder. Pushing the large chunks to the side, I decided a bit of catharsis was in order, and I minced the second half of the broccoli and carrots with fast and furious power that echoed through the room. The knife rapped against the cutting board until the deed was done, and I took a deep breath at a job well done.
I hadn’t been sure the knife would survive.
Cleaning it up, and slipping it back into its holder. I picked out a smaller knife and took an onion from the pantry. Closing my eyes as I cut, I relied on clicks to measure my process with the onion.
I let Crusty’s face float before me in my mind, and I kept up the deep breathing to try and force my heart to stay calm. My blood boiled as much as it ran cold, though, making it oh-so-hard to keep composed. One second he was laughing and I wanted to lunge for his throat, the next I saw him broken on the ground and had to force myself not to wince.
Did it help? No, not really, but I felt like coasting the waves right now. It was just me in the kitchen, alone, and I wouldn’t get time to brood later if I ended up watching the twins.
When the onion was cut and my tears were dried, I pulled out a big old soup pot and tossed the onion in. Putting the pot on the stove, I bucked it just as I flipped a switch, lightning crackling through the burner to start heating the pot and sauté the onion. Just a few minutes to lightly shade it, and then add a sprinkle of garlic for seasoning.
I had that sit a minute, then started on the roux, dumping in a bit of flour and stirring it with the onion juice. After that came the stock and veggies. I woulda gone chicken stock normally, but this was for Mom in case Aunt Mercy didn’t come through. Thus, vegetable stock it was, and I was stuck twiddling my hooves as I waited for it to boil.
Out of boredom, I did a set or two of pushups between every stirring.
Boiled and simmered, all the veggies were now cooked. All that was left was the half-and-half and the shredded cheddar cheese.
Boom. Broccoli and cheddar soup! Not as good as chicken noodle, but it was one of Mom’s favorites. Just had to leave it on low heat and wait for Aunt—
My ear flicked at the sound of the door opening and closing. Sounded like I wouldn’t need to wait long.
Aunt Mercy stumbled in with loaded saddle bags and a bag from the boutique in her mouth. She grunted at me and briefly sniffed as she eyed the soup, putting her bags over by the door to the dining room. “Alright, I got everything we need. You want sandwiches and salad? I got it covered. Start roasting me some potatoes, carrots, and cabbage. Make sure it’s a bunch of thin slices and wedges. Gonna use them in the sandwich.”
“I thought soup, salad, and sandwiches were boring?” I grinned and hastened to comply, starting with the sack of potatoes and grabbing the peeler.
“Not when I make them~” Aunt Mercy threw her head back to laugh as she pulled a bunch of zucchini and gourds from one of her bags to start washing them.
“Squash and zucchini in salad?” I tilted my head to the side.
“Squash, gourds, and zucchini as the salad.” Aunt Mercy tittered as she sliced through the veggies like a practiced butcher. I hadn’t even seen her pick up the knife, it just seemed to flow to her hooves and cut everything into ribbons so fine you would swear she was working with leaves or lettuce.
Several squashes were aptly cut into wedges and slices and pushed towards me as I mixed the oil and spices for the roasting—just some salt and pepper to add some bite. I tossed them in with the potatoes and carrots and lettuce before putting a makeshift top over the bowl and shaking like crazy to coat everything.
Pouring it out on the pan, I opened the oven and slid it in, looking up at Aunt Mercy as I did. “Convection currents or lightning rack?”
“Convection.” Aunt Mercy hummed as she glared at the shredded ribbons of squash and zucchini before her. “After that, you’ll find some cream cheese in the bags. That needs to get mixed with the rosemary, thyme, and rose petals into a spread. Can you do that and sauté some crickets at the same time?”
“I should be able to, but what are you gonna do, then?”
“You know how nobles have all sorts of notoriously stupid hobbies to stave off boredom?” My aunt snorted.
I arched a brow. “I guess?”
Aunt Mercy giggled as she lifted a ribbon and twisted it, starting to layer a bigger plate with it, and decorating the edges as if it was a present. “Well… my mothers and I may have been into fashion, but Checkmate was a fan of flower and fruit arrangement. This salad is gonna end up so damn pretty, eating it is gonna be a sin.”
I paused at her answer, ear flicking as crickets sizzled before me. This was one of the few times she’d mentioned Pushing’s father since moving in.
Should I say anything? What should I do?
“Errr… yeah, Checkmate….” I gave a forced chuckle as I resumed mixing the cream cheese spread. “You, uh… mind telling me more about him?”
There was a long hum from Aunt Mercy as she kept weaving the ribbons of veggie-stuff into a bowl. “Do you trust me talking about him?”
“What the hay kind of question is that?”
She twirled a hoof as she tittered. “Well, you know me~ I could give you all kinds of stories~”
I frowned and looked towards her. “Would you really, now? I mean, he’s different from all your other coltfriends, isn’t he?”
The giggling continued, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Yes… yes, he was very different. He’s one of the few I dated that were genuinely good ponies. Most were guano-guzzlers, but Checkmate? Checkmate always believed in doing the right thing. He might have slept around just to piss off his parents, but he worked hard to live up to being what a noble should be in every other way.”
“Now that I can see why you’d like.” My frown turned to a smile.
“Mhmm.” Aunt Mercy nodded and set her work down for a moment as she closed her eyes. “He was big, strong, charismatic, and kind—the spitting image of everything a prince should be. He brought me roses and wrote me poems; even as buck buddies, he treated me like a lady.
“I absolutely hated it.” The half-titter, half-sob belied the lie to her words. “Whenever he did it, I would smack him with a wing and drag him off for some real fun.” Her wings drooped for a moment even as she went back to intently working on arranging the salad. “Maybe if I’d let him have his way, the two of us would have made everything official sooner, and I wouldn’t be here right here and now….”
“Maybe.” I bit my lip and shook my head. “Or maybe you would have gotten sick of him and you wouldn’t have Pushing. There’s no way of knowing, so you shouldn’t worry, you know?”
“Ha! You’re one to talk!” Aunt Mercy threw her head back to briefly cackle. Slapping me on the back, she looked down. “Telling me not to brood on things. I’ve been running from a good and serious brooding all my life; you brood over the littlest things.”
Tasting a bit of blood, I still couldn’t help but chew. “I don’t know if I’d call my current problem little.”
“You did the right thing and fought for your friends when nopony else would.” With a snort, Aunt Mercy stepped over and ruffled my mane. “It’s as simple as that. Screw the school. Screw the authorities. If I was your mom, the school wouldn’t have gotten zip from me.”
“Are you even proud that I lost control?” I shivered. “Mom’s right to be disappointed. She told everypony I wouldn’t take things too far, and then I— I—” Nope. Couldn’t finish that thought. “I wanted to break Crusty into pieces, I was so mad at him. I-I— I let the Nightmare take me. I don’t know if I would have stopped without Dad there.”
Things were silent for a time, save for the hum of the oven.
“Night?”
“Yeah?”
“No offense, pipsqueak, but you’re still a bit too young and stupid to be worrying about that.”
I didn’t— Wha—
Aunt Mercy thwapped me lightly with a wing and tsked. “You and your Mom have such an overinflated sense of the situation. You did what you thought was right, regardless of how others perceive it; don’t you dare lower your head.”
“But—”
“Shhhh…” A hoof was unceremoniously shoved over my mouth. “No buts, soldier. You went for that guano-guzzler’s throat the same way you would charge in to help anypony in need. The best guards don’t think; they act. That’s what you did, pure and simple. Was it the right call? Ehhhh? But that’s why your dad was there as the judge.”
I stayed silent as Aunt Mercy pulled her hoof back to quickly wash and get back to cooking. I was still as stone as she bustled about—sautéing crickets and mixing the cream cheese, all while slowly weaving the ribbons of zucchini and squash into a bowl in which the rest of the slices and wedges were stacked in a beautiful pattern.
Sub rolls were brought out and sliced, set to the side as the oven sat waiting to toast them. Aunt Mercy swirled and danced through the kitchen with a zeal I’d only ever seen when she’d sparred with Mom and Dad before. Her titter was sharp, and her gaze pierced each task before her with intense scrutiny. Only as she pulled the crickets off the stovetop to set them aside did she finally slow and turn back to me.
“I’m going to get the twins and Pushing.” She had to pat me on the back to get me to stir and show I was listening. “You wake up your Mom and tell her everything will be ready as soon as I get back and shower. Rarity already fixed my dress, so it would be nice if she wore the one I got her.”
“I’ll… I’ll tell her that.” Her words still weighed heavy on me, but I managed a nod. It wouldn’t do to sulk and brood for too long, and I could always ask her for more advice later on.
Nightmare take me, asking Aunt Mercy for advice…. What was the world coming to?
“What… what should I do about Pushing?” Looking down, I bit my lip. “I’ve handled the twins well enough before, but Pushing almost constantly cries if you aren’t around. I’m… I’m not… I’m not the Pink Demon or Miss Fluttershy. I can’t magically stop tears once they start.”
Aunt Mercy took a deep breath and gave a small smile. “I’ll try and lull her to sleep with a lullaby. Other than that? You’ll be on your own. Make sure to check on her often, though. I shoved a sound dampener in just about all the shadows of her room to stop her from waking the rest of you up at night.”
I blinked. “Wait, so that’s why… How do you know when she needs something?”
“I’ve been sleeping in her nursery, duh. Why do you think I haven’t gotten around to making a room for myself?” The smile morphed into her signature grin. “Or did you think I liked sleeping on the couch? I’m used to barracks. What’s a frilly little filly’s room to me? ’Sides, it makes her sleep better.”
“Huh…” I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just shook my head. “You really are trying your hardest, aren’t you?”
“I am.” She giggled and nodded, heading for the door with a wave. “And I’ll be back in a flash, hrmmm? So make sure your Mom is bringing her A-game.”
With the sound of the front door opening and closing, I was off to go wake Mom. She was sprawled in bed, mouth agape and drooling. I was pretty sure she had literally fallen into bed and passed out.
She groaned as I poked her, and curled up into the cloud. With her buried in the floof, I had no choice but to do what she did to my little brothers. As I nipped her ear and nuzzled her softly, she groaned again and blearily opened her eyes.
“Just use the backdoor, Tempered. I’m too tired to turn over.”
“First things first, Mom, ewww.” I blew a raspberry at her and nipped her ear again. “And second, it’s me, not Dad. He’s not back yet.”
“Ohhhhhh…” Mom groaned like the dead as she stretched. “Knowing that lunkhead, he won’t be back for a day or two. That featherbrain Crusty pissed him off more than I’ve seen in a long time. The last time your father was that mad… mmmm… it was right after we decided to settle down and have you. Some idiot in the nobility tried to steal his spot in the Night Guard, and they made the mistake of playing dirty and talking shit just like what happened with you.”
Blinking bemusedly, I flicked an ear. “He never told me that story.”
“It’s not one he’s proud of, so don’t ask him for it.” Mom sighed and rolled out of bed, doing a few stretches that caused loud, satisfying cracks. “If he wants to give it, he will, but… let’s say he understands all too well what you’re beating yourself up for. He almost lost his spot in the Guard, even though he won, and the only reason he didn’t is that every other thestral in the Night Guard threatened to resign if he did.”
I shivered. “That’s—”
“—all in the past.” Mom yawned. “Honestly, I shouldn’t be telling you about it, but you caught me on what? Two hours of sleep?”
“Three.” I squirmed. “Aunt Mercy and I came back at about thirteen hundred.” Looking down, I kicked some clouds. “Sorry I couldn’t give you more, but dinner is about ready, and Aunt Mercy is off to pick up Pushing and the twins.”
Mom grunted and scratched her chest. “Time to face the music, then, huh? Gonna be honest, I didn’t expect your Aunt to even make it to the first date. I don’t really know what to do. Is it any different dating mares?”
“W-w-what?” My neck blazed with the heat of a thousand suns as the floor became more interesting for a whole other set of reasons. “W-why are you asking me?!”
Mom chuckled and patted me on the back. “Why do you think I’m asking? For once, I’m in uncharted territory, and well… You may be my daughter, but I still stick by what I said earlier today. You’re an adult, too, and here at least, you might know more than me.”
“Mrgmrfff!” My wings rustled fiercely. “I doubt it. It’s not like I’ve dated any colts.”
“Fair enough.” Mom drew me into a hug and squeezed. “I think I need to try and talk with you more like an adult now after all this, though, so don’t be surprised if I’ve got more questions later.”
So. Bucking. Weird.
This was so bucking weird. Why was Mom—
“Heh. You’re blushing as red as your father the day I let him win a round. Too much, Night?” My Mom threw back her head and laughed. “Think of it as a reward. Even if I’m disappointed and angry, I’m also proud of you for standing up in the first place. I… don’t think I said it before. It’s my job as your mother to make sure you don’t fight, but as one adult to another? No, as one guard to another? I am proud of you, Night, and that won’t change just because you made mistakes doing what was right.”
Mom, I… No, no words could suffice, only squeezing the guano out of Mom could do things justice before she headed off to go shower.
I got the dress Aunt Mercy had bought her out of the closet. It was easy to find, mostly because it was the only one I hadn’t seen her use whenever she went out with Dad.
Rarity had really outdone herself with it, and unlike Aunt Mercy’s slinky, little, tearaway dress, Mom’s was simple, strong, and elegant with a corded braid meant to be entwined in the tail.
Laying it out on the bed, I headed back to the kitchen, picked up the bag from Carousel Boutique still sitting with the groceries, and I moved to set it in view of the front door for when Aunt Mercy returned. The dining room already had a few candles, but I dragged a bunch from other rooms to add to the ambience for Mom and Aunt Mercy, setting the table for two, and using the leftover roses, I sprinkled the table with petals.
I was just in time, too. As I sprinkled the last of the petals, the front door opened, and the sound of the terrible twosome gamboling in filled the house.
“Red, gimme that back! It’s mine!” Rolling’s whine threatened to go subsonic as the flumping of hooves scurrying over clouds came from the living room.
“Yours? It’s ours! Twinsies are supposed to share!” Red laughed.
“Oh yeah? Maybe I’ll take your paints, then! You never share those with me!”
“That’s because they’re mine, duh! I’m the oldest!”
“You’re not the oldest! I’m the oldest! Dad told me rolling thunder always comes before a red dawn!”
“Nuh-uh! It’s totally me! I’m a whole half a hoof taller than you!”
“Oi, twerps, settle down. Neither of you two is older from what your Dad told me. Your mother doesn’t want you two lording it over each other exactly like you are right now.” Aunt Mercy tsked and walked in with Pushing on her back at about the same time I made it from the dining room. “You want me tattling to your Mom that you’re doing it anyways?”
“You wouldn’t!” Red stuck his tongue out as he passed her, running from his brother with a bottle clinking precariously as it threatened to fall out of his saddlebags.
“Oh, really?” With a wicked grin, Aunt Mercy arched her brow. “You know, it’s not smart to say I wouldn’t do something. That just makes me wanna do it more. Oh, Morning!~”
“No!” Red skidded to a halt, letting Rolling run right on into him and sending the two tumbling to the ground.
Rolling squeaked and quickly dove for the bottle as it rolled on out of the back and over the floor, snatching it up and holding it close as he slunk over to hide under my legs and glare out at Red. “’t’s mine!”
“Mmmm… Just what are you two fighting over?” Bending down to look at the jar, Rolling shied away for a second before holding it out. I blinked in surprise at seeing lightning crackling and bouncing around inside it—the light flickering and sparking as it did so.
“You made that?” I smiled and reached over to rustle his mane. “That’s really cool! I wasn’t able to do anything with lightning at your age! Gimme a sec and you can tell me all about how you managed that!”
“He cheated….”
My ear flicked as Red muttered to himself and sulked where he had fallen on the floor. Whatever had happened, he didn’t have one of his own, and that was gonna cause trouble I needed to cut off at the pass.
I looked to Aunt Mercy and nodded towards the bag from Carousel Boutique. “I got the table set and woke Mom. She’s in the shower right now.”
“Oh?” Aunt Mercy’s fangs gleamed as she licked her chops and grinned. “Well then, I better go get ready myself.” Hoofing me a snoozing Pushing, she sauntered over to her bag. Picking it up, she walked down the hall with a sway to her hips and some far too conspicuous whistling.
Closing my eyes, I internally groaned, counting out the seconds until Mom shouted.
And it never happened.
“Night? Why is your face scrunching up like you just ate an extra sour lemon drop?” There was a tug on my leg as Rolling poked his head out from my legs and looked up. “Do you gotta go to the bathroom or something?”
“No, Rolling. Going to the bathroom is the exact opposite of what I want right now.” I shivered at the continued lack of scolding or yelling, and tried not to blink for as long as possible to avoid seeing what my imagination dared consider. “Come on, you two. We’re going to be stuck in your room for a bit while Mom and Aunt Mercy do big pony stuff.” Moving over, I nudged the still sulking Red to his hooves, but he brightened rather quickly as he looked up at me.
“Huh! That’s right! I totally forgot! We were supposed to ask you about the thing at the place! Night, Night, Night, Night, Night!” Hopping up and down before me, he took little small fluttering leaps backwards as we tromped to the twins’ room. “School was totally canceled today so we just went over to Sugar Cube Corner with Pinkie for the whole day! It was so cool! We got to hang with anypony from school that showed up! I dunno what you did, but Scotch Tape and a bunch of the others say it’s all thanks to you!”
“They said what?!” I almost tripped over Rolling with a screep.
“Yeah! The whole class was really excited about it! There’s even ponies saying we’ll get next week off, too! What did you do?!” Doing a three-sixty twirl as he reached the door, Red bucked it open and ran inside his room.
The room was split in half down the middle with a little divot carved in the cloud. Like day and night, each of the little buggers had claimed a side, and when wars between them started, they would shove toys to the frontlines as guards while they shouted across the border at each other.
“Errrr…” I gulped. “So you two know what Schattenkrieg is?”
“Yeah!” Both nodded as we settled into the room.
“I challenged a bully who was being mean to me, and things went a little too far.” Tail lashing, I tried not to shiver.
“You fought a bully?!”
“A bully got you to go too far?! Wow! He musta been strong!”
“What happened?!”
“Did you have a super cool battle?!”
“Is there gonna be a movie about it?!”
“Yeah! A movie with lasers and explosions!”
“G-guys!” I sniffled as the two fell silent. They didn’t press any further, so I took a few deep breaths to calm down. The ruckus had woken Pushing, and she too was sniffling and on the verge of crying as she looked around for her Mom. Holding her close and humming, my rocking thankfully settled her back down to sleep, but there would be no stopping her if she really got going.
When I composed myself a little, I smiled over at Rolling, who was studying the floor intently. Gently approaching him, I settled down to wrap a wing around him. “Hey….”
“Hey.” He snuggled up close, still not looking at me as his eyes wandered from the floor to his star charts and bug collection. “’m sorry. Is something wrong? Isn’t beating a bully and no school a good thing?”
Shaking my head, my ears splayed back. “Look, I don’t wanna talk about it—”
“O-oh, sorry….” He nuzzled close, finally looking up at me with big, sad eyes.
“—but I will say I may have beat him, but I didn’t win.”
“How does that work?! You can’t beat a bully and not win!” Red was bouncing a ball on his head on the other side of the room. His half of the room was covered in paintings and sketches, along with the easel Mom got him for last Hearth’s Warming.
“S-stupid! Don’t ask that!” Rolling hugged me tight. “She said she didn’t wanna talk about it!”
“No, I don’t. Not now, at least.” Shaking my head, I reached over to pick up Rolling’s new little doodad. “How about you give me the story of how you got this?”
Rolling immediately lit up as he took the jar and stared within. “I made it! Pound and Pumpkin didn’t have school either, and Pound was showing off all sorts of stuff he’d learned! He was so cool about it, too! He gave us all jars so we could try it ourselves! That never happens with any of the cool stuff when pegasi stop by class to teach us! It’s all ‘clouds this,’ or ‘clouds that!’ They don’t even let us do breezes yet!”
“Sounds like you had fun.” I chuckled and ruffled his head again.
“Mhmm! I’ve never made my own lightning before! I didn’t know I could!” He hugged the jar close to him. “I just squeezed a cloud smaller and smaller until it was all fizzly and crackly before putting it in the jar and closing it! Nobody else but me did it!”
“Sounds like you have a talent for weather, then.” With a smile, I watched Rolling and listened with one ear as the other swiveled and flicked to track Red’s growing grumbling. “You know, if you’re good enough to do it once, I bet you can do it again. How about I go grab a couple of jars from the kitchen? I need to grab you two dinner anyways, and I think Mom and Aunt Mercy should be out of the shower and eating by now.”
“Really?! That would be fun!” Clapping his hooves, Rolling got up to go place his jar on the shelf.
I glanced over at Red as he huffed from his bed. The little bugger was sketching on his tablet, the very picture of a cold shoulder as he used a stub of charcoal to draw. “I need you two to stay here and get along while I’m gone, though. Understand? Mom and Aunt Mercy have special plans tonight, and the last thing they need is us yelling and screaming.”
“Whatever.” Red sulked into his bed, tail lashing as he bit his lip. Rolling simply smiled and nodded, and so I slipped out of their room with Pushing hanging on my neck like a true blue thestral.
Mom and Aunt Mercy were indeed in the dining room when I peeked in. Both were dolled up and in dresses, and in the candlelight it was hard for me to miss how much Mom was smiling. Aunt Mercy was banging her hoof on the table and telling some outrageous tale of how she’d helped Rarity save Equestria by modelling a dress so sexy it was being used to stop the yetis from encroaching on the northern border.
I carefully crept past to head for the kitchen, only to freeze at the door when I heard Mom laugh and giggle.
“Doesn’t mean anything.” I muttered and shook my head, face scrunching up as I pushed through the door. “Mom’s just… being a good friend.”
I pulled a tray out from a closet and set it on my outstretched wing before heading to the cupboard to get me and the twerps bowls and plates. Dinner was simple enough. I put two sub rolls in the oven to briefly toast, then I ladled several bowls of soup.
The salad was gone and probably out on the dining room table. I didn’t really blame Aunt Mercy for that, though, ‘cause it had been gorgeous when she finished it.
Spreading the cream cheese mix over the toasted rolls as I pulled them out, I sprinkled them with the sautéed crickets and started layering the roasted vegetables on. I cut the finished subs in half. Give each twin one half. Keep a whole for myself. Pour us all glasses of our favorite ice-cold drinks. With dinner ready to go and layed out on my back, I at last grabbed a few jars and slunk back towards the twerps’ room.
Mom was still smiling as I walked past the dining room. Occasionally chuckling, she took sips of some sorta wine, listening to Aunt Mercy’s story which still hadn’t finished somehow. Apparently, the dress she’d modeled was not just giving cold and lonely soldiers the morale to keep on fighting, but it was, in fact, quite lethal.
Fully capable of stopping yeti hearts with a single glance at Rarity’s ‘inspirational centerfold,’ it was a miracle it hadn’t done the same to any hard-working, able-bodied soldier. Clearly a sign our cause was just, only such depraved heathens like the yeti were debauched enough to—
Yeah, no, there went her face finally. Even Aunt Mercy had limits on the Guan-o-meter. I don’t know how she kept a straight face through half of her story if it was that bad, but she was paying for it now from the looks of things. While Mom merely giggled like a loon, Aunt Mercy was clutching her side and rolling on the floor with a high-pitched titter.
Bunch of crazy ponies.
Snorting to myself, I snuck past and made it back to the twins, cracking the door open to squeeze back inside and setting the tray on the table in the corner. “Alright, twerps, time to eat.”
“‘M not hungry.” Even as he sulked in his bed, Red’s stomach growled, and I rolled my eyes before taking a jar and giving it to Rolling as he approached.
Getting down on my knees, I leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Oi. I know your brother was kind of a guano-guzzler for taking your thing, but it looks like he’s really upset he couldn’t make one, too. You wanna make him one so he’s not left out?”
Rolling blinked at me before not even attempting to whisper. “Why should I do that? He’s mean and snooty and a cock!”
“He’s a what now?” I arched my brow. “Where did you hear that?”
“What? It’s not bad! Mom calls Dad that all the time!” He looked up at me pouting.
“Errr… No, Mom calls Dad cocky.” I licked my lips. “Don’t forget the ‘eee.’ It’s important. A lot of ponies will get mad if you call them a— if you call them that, so try not to say it, hrmmm? It is very much one of Dad’s bad dad words.”
“Well, he’s still mean and snooty!” Rolling stomped his hoof, tailing lashing.
“Am not!” Red finally looked over from his bed. “You cheated! You had to! You aren’t even a pegasus!”
“Red Dawn, you stop that right now before you say something I make you regret.” I growled just a little as I stepped forward. Not a lot, but just enough to give him a proper warning. “Rolling is your brother and he’s got just as much of Mom in him as you, understand? It doesn’t matter if he’s not a pegasus. Everypony is different, and from what Rolling said, nopony else you normally play with managed it either. It might just be that he's good with lightning and thunder. It’s not unheard of to have thestrals on weather teams for late night work. Is it rare? Yes, but not unheard of.
“You should be happy your brother found something he seems interested in, Red.” Shaking my head, I made sure to glower at both twins so Rolling would know his brother wasn’t the only one being silly. “And you, Rolling, should try and be a little more sensitive about why your brother acts like a butt. If there’s anything I’ve learned from Dad’s and Uncle Liquid’s stories, it’s that usually when one was a jerk to the other, they had a reason.”
“‘M sorry, Night.” Both twins hung their heads in apology to me, ears splaying and wings drooping before Rolling looked up at me and puffed out his chest.
“I’m gonna make one for everypony in the family!” His hoof went high with the zealous declaration, and then he stomped, causing an appropriate rumbling to punctuate his words.
Bending down, he scooped up a bit of cloud and glared at it before starting to squeeze it down. It was soon crackling and threatening to collapse as it rained itself away. I could see it trying to flat out zap Rolling and just condense all the moisture at once, but Rolling managed not to let that happen as he carefully looked it over with a scrunched face. His tongue was poking out of his mouth as he grimaced, and I saved him the extra concentration of fidangling with the jar.
Popping it open, I held it out to him.
He all but dunked the cloud inside, and flicked the cork top shut before anything could come out.
There was a brilliant flash and a muted roar of sound that shook the jar. When I was done blinking spots from my eyes, instead of a cloud, there was a little puddle of water, and lightning bounced within the jar every which way.
Taking it from me, Rolling squirmed and poked at the floor, studying it for a bit before he held it out to Red. “H-here… If it really means that much to you… I’ll try and get good enough at it that I can teach you to do the trick.”
It was Red’s turn to look away, ear flicking a bit before he turned back to take it. “Thanks. I guess Night was right…. I was kind of being a butt.”
Ah… Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, and turned, foolishly thinking we could start dinner.
“But it wasn’t cool calling me a cock!”
Really, Red?
“Huuuuuuh! Night! Red said a bad dad word! Now you gotta wash his mouth with soap!”
Really, Rolling?!
Where did he even learn about that? We didn’t do that in this household! We were a civilized house with civilized punishments! We weren’t the sort of barbarians who used soap and brute force! We taxed our citizens and used a swear jar!
“Cock!”
“Butt!”
“Cock!”
“Butt!”
Back and forth they went. There went all my hopes and dreams for a quiet dinner. They knew it, too. The twerps were smiling as they bickered.
At least, they smiled until Pushing woke up and showed them what quiet really meant. Served them right. Mom was gonna bring down the hammer if she thought I taught them that.
Well, either that or the new ‘adult’ Mom was gonna arch her brow and ask if I was ‘hiding something’ from her. Having Dad ask me that would be one thing, but Mom? Mom?!
That was just wrong on so many levels, but it made me smile.
Squirming behind our front door while waiting for Diamond, I tried not to sweat at the feeling of Mom’s level gaze on the back of my neck. “So, ummm… you promise you aren’t gonna follow me inside on my date?”
“Do I look like your father, dear?” Mom hummed. I could feel her eyebrow arch, and it sent goosebumps running up my spine.
“Uh… no?” I glanced back and rustled my wings at the sight of Mom and Aunt Mercy both leaning into the wall.
“I mean, I don’t look like Tempered, Morning, and I’d totally follow her inside.” Aunt Mercy snickered quietly as she waggled her brow so similarly to Dad it was scary. “Saying that means nothing.”
Mom sighed and briefly glowered at Aunt Mercy as I screeped. Looking back at me, she gave a small smile. “I already told you. I’m just making sure you go to the restaurant and movie you and Diamond say you’re going to; I’m not going to mess with the actual date.”
“So, you’re saying you don’t trust me, then?” My ears splayed back.
Mom instantly shook her head and stepped forward to hug me. “No, dear. I don’t trust Diamond. You’ve been more than good about everything so far, but you remember how Diamond dragged you all the way to the castle to yell at me after you told her about your punishment?”
“She, uh… was pretty pissed at you.” I blushed and looked away.
“Understandably so, too.” Mom nodded. “If anypony is gonna convince you to break the ground rules your father and I gave you, it’s her, and I would rather you not lose all the little leniencies your father and I are giving you just one week into your suspension.”
Aunt Mercy gave a not-so-dainty snort as she tossed her mane back. “You could give her that by just not following at all, you know.”
“What?” Mom smiled. “And just turn a blind eye? I couldn’t do that. Night would hate that more than being followed all the way inside. Isn’t that right, dear?”
I gulped and nodded vigorously at just the thought. Mom looking the other way for my sake? “No, thank you, please. That way lies foul corruption.”
“Pffft. Corruption my ass.” Aunt Mercy rolled her eyes. “It’s not like she’s letting you rob a bank or hide a body.”
“Hide a—” My shrill squeak was cut off by the doorbell ringing, and I was quick to open it and fly out and down to my salvation. Aunt Mercy was making things weird again. Helping hide a body? I didn’t even want to think about where that conversation might have gone.
Still… Aunt Mercy had gotten me some damn fine clothes as thanks for helping her on her date with Mom. A bloody, iron-colored cape flew in the wind as I circled down, while my similarly-colored suit and pauldrons glittered with just enough gold that I looked like a dying sun. I’d complained about it when she’d first showed me, because what kind of thestral used gold when there was the nice, soft sheen of silver to be had, but apparently silver and ‘red’ don’t mix well according to my aunt.
I had no idea what my aunt was on about. The suit wasn’t even close to as light a gray as my brother, so how could it be red? She must have been onto something, though, because Diamond’s eyes were glued to me my whole flight down.
She actually licked her lips as I landed.
“My, my~ Such handsome eye candy you make~ Maybe I should cancel our reservations~ You’ve got me hungry for something else~”
“Really, Diamond?” I blushed a horrible, burning black and glanced back up at the house. “C-can’t this wait until we’re at the restaurant?”
Diamand’s laugh was as sweet as silver bells as she stepped up to peck me on the nose. “Why? You still afraid of somepony seeing us swap cooties after all these years?~”
Shivering hard, I shook my head as I fumbled for the words; my wings rustled at her slightest touch. Being home alone all week had left me weak. If tonight was anything like yesterday when I was out with the girls—
She kissed me again, and Mom be damned, this time I growled and kissed Diamond in return.
—I just might not be able to hold back.
Diamond giggled as she stepped back, our lips popping from the suction of my aggressive attack. Giving me a grin and fluttering her lashes, she sidled up and leaned into me, nudging me insistently down the street. “Awww, you’re hungry, too? We better get going, then. I pulled out all the stops—even got us a private booth.”
Heart still beating like mad, I only managed a purr of contentment at first. My tail entwined in hers as I possessively wrapped her in my wing. After my incredibly shitty week so far, this was just what I needed.
Unlike a few of the other ponies we passed from school, Diamond was as relaxed as could be. Instead of the tense shoulders and awkward trot other ponies had, she melted against me just as she always did when I took her under my wing. Before long, I was the one nudging her along just as much as she nudged me. I had eyes for nopony but her, and all the stares I’d been getting just melted away.
Stopping briefly at a crossroads, we were forced to wait for a stream of carriages heralding some diplomat or another going to Princess Twilight’s castle. A brief glance told us we were in for a good few minutes at least.
“When’s the reservation?” Small sentences were possible now, though my brain was still a bit fried from Diamond taking every opportunity to rub against me ‘innocently’ as we headed for our destination. I hid it well enough behind a cocky grin, but really, I wasn’t even half as good at keeping up a facade as her.
“Oh… it’s at six, I think?” With a coy smile, my marefriend reached up a hoof to cup my cheek. Pulling me down for a small peck, the devious minx continued her endless onslaught of toying with me. There was no way she hadn’t planned every subtle shift to her gait and every brush of our coats as we walked. The kiss was merely a cherry on top as she played me like a fiddle. I had no idea how nopony noticed her audacity—I could hear how fast her heart was beating, after all—but her games left my blood boiling in all the most satisfying ways.
Taking in a deep breath, I savored that she had worn my favorite perfume—lavender and lilies—and her dress was a smooth and shimmery silk that just begged to be touched in the light of the almost setting sun. Her eyes sparkled like stars as she smirked up at me with a far too confident grin, but rather than leaning in for another kiss, she settled for leaning against me to let me cool off.
It was a tactical mistake on her part, one that bought me time to figure out how to better turn the tables.
She wanted to be audacious? I could do that.
The carriages just kept coming and coming, and I could feel Diamond shuffle a bit as the clocktower rang a quarter ‘til. I nudged her before she could even start to frown or huff—adorable as it would be—and when she looked at me, it was my turn to grin at her.
“No, Night.” Diamond immediately furrowed her brow and slugged me.
“I think you mean, ‘Yes, Night.’” I retorted back, my grin only growing as I squeezed her with my wing to let her feel their leathery strength. “You know you wanna go for a ride~”
“No means no.” There was the huff, adorable as it always was.
“And yes means yes.” My grin grew as I waved to the passing carriages. “Look, do you want to be late?”
“No, I don’t.” To be fair, she held her ground and glared at me.
“Then you gotta let me take you on a wild ride~ Come on. I got you.” I held out my hoof and waited until—as expected—she huffed again and took it.
“Two hours of working on my mane wasteeeeeeeed!” Diamond clutched me tight and held back a cry as I launched us into the air over the carriages. Her heart only pounded faster as I lifted her high into the chill, autumn air, but beyond the initial cry of surprise she was all breathy giggles as my forelegs hugged her tight on our flight.
“Only two hours?” I chuckled and did a roll just so I could better flash my fangs in a smile at her.
“Okay, four, but it’s the two I spent with Silver getting it beyond perfect that matter.” She shivered as a breeze hit us, so I dropped a bit. “You can’t touch a mane up like that in a public restroom.” Squirming in my grasp, she twisted her head back to better look up at me. “And don’t land down at the restaurant, you hear? I want to brush up somewhere nearby instead of showing up a mess.”
“But your windswept mane is just perfect as is~” I chuckled as Diamond gave me a dirty look for that. “Fine, fine. Let me just…” Casting my gaze about, I aimed us towards an alleyway next to a Burger Princess two blocks down from our destination. “Will this do?”
“It’ll do as well as anywhere.” Diamond was quick to pull away and pop out a compact mirror and a make-up kit from somewhere as she went straight out into the street, through the door, and to the restroom without even buying anything if the shout of the cashier was anything to go by.
I was a bit more paced in following her. A simple mare with simple needs, I didn’t need a full bathroom to straighten my clothes and run a hoof through my mane. I did straighten myself a little more when stepping into the street got me a few looks and one extra cocky ‘Nice~’ from some stupid stallion who looked between me and the door Diamond went through, but other than that I just waited.
And waited…
And waited…
“And now we might be late for a whole different reason.” With a snort, I rolled my eyes and started in after Diamond, but before I could take two steps she was out and shoving several free bags of hayburgers on passersby.
“Have I ever mentioned how much I hate having to buy stuff to use a Celestia-forsaken restroom? Freaking vultures just kept milking the fact I went in first for all it was worth.” Sauntering back up to me with a scowl, Diamond briefly turned to narrow her eyes at the offending storefront. “I should make Daddy buy them.”
“Uh, Diamond? Barnyard Bargains has the same policy.” I coughed politely.
“That’s different!” Diamond huffed and puffed, her cheeks petulantly blowing out as her glower tried to strike up at me. “All we ask for is like, a box of tissues! We don’t guilt trip ponies into jumbo meals just for having to go!”
“Yes, dear. Whatever you say.” My smirk only grew as she stomped. Stars, she was adorable when she got mad. “Do we have to do a hostile takeover now, though? Or can you figure that out with your Dad after our date?”
“Right, you’re right…. I’m getting distracted.” Diamond took a few deep breaths before going back to beaming with all the intensity of the hungry sun.
“Shall we?” She curtsied.
“We shall.” I bowed and took her hoof.
Trotting down the street like we owned it, we finally made it to our destination. Nebrewla’s didn’t look like much from the outside—definitely not the kind of place to go on a date dressed completely to the nines like Diamond and I were—but step inside and the quaint café feel jumped right past cozy and shot over the moon to luxurious with its dim, candlelit tables and velvet-lined walls and booths.
Little silver fires dotted the candles on each table like stars, and a small fountain had been built within to wash customers' ears with the soothing burble of water. Every booth had rich, ebony, wooden walls to give the ultimate sense of privacy, but the real romantic ringer was the dark and heavy curtains of shadow weave that flickered and wavered as they kept every shred of light from the outside world from getting in.
Pretty standard for a café if it was the undercity, but a romantic getaway for many of the day dwellers here around Ponyville, and it led to a very odd mix of clients dotting the place as Diamond and I entered.
We thestrals liked our small, enclosed caves and private places to brood, and while silence was good, just a little white noise—from, say, a fountain—was even better for cleansing the mind and soul. Just about the entire night shift of Ponyville woke up and stopped in here around dusk for breakfast. We were inside on the tail end of that rush and the start of the day dweller dinner rush. Such was it that there were a bunch of well-dressed ponies slipping in for romantic dinners in the private booths while a decent chunk of the thestrals in Ponyville dotted the tables as they got ready to work.
Most of said thestrals paused to nod at me as we passed, but unlike the stares I got outside, they were more melancholic as they toasted me. The attention was… not exactly what I needed; their slitted eyes cut into me with a whole different kind of intensity than the day dwellers outside, and I was more than happy to have Diamond drag me towards our booth.
She waved toward the barista to let him know we we here as he cleaned some shiny metal piece for all the steaming machines back behind the counter, and I barely saw him signal back as we both squeezed through the narrow opening and into our usual booth; the nightmare black curtains fell behind us as Diamond pulled a cord to cut off all sound and light save for the moonfire candles flickering before us.
“Are you alright?” She squeezed my hoof from across the table. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
“Yeah…” Licking my lips, I studied the table. “Sorry. I just… felt all their eyes, and it was like they were judging me.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Diamond blinked in disbelief. “You were the picture of confidence on the walk here, and we got way worse stares during that.”
“I expected those, though.” I shook my head. “It’s been the same the other few times I’ve left the house since… the you-know-what.” Holding out a hoof, I quieted Diamond’s next rebuttal as she narrowed her gaze and opened her mouth. “Look, can we not talk about it? I know it’s in my head. I know if anypony is gonna be at least somewhat understanding about my fuck up, it’s other ponies who’ve been through Schattenkrieg, but that doesn’t stop me from feeling judged… or from judging myself… so let’s just drop it and go back to being mushy.”
Smiling across the table at her, I awkwardly maneuvered the tip of my too-large elephant wing in the cozy, little booth to flip her frown upside down. “How’s school been without me, hrmmm? Are you stuck pining for me as much as I’ve been pining for you?~”
Diamond watched me for a moment, brow furrowed and frown slowly morphing into a pout. “Fine…. And yes, I have been.” All signs of heart-wrenching disappointment disappeared as she fluttered her eyelashes. Her furrowed brow relaxed, and her pout became so much more playful as she entwined our tails beneath the table. “Hoofholding, kissing, teasing, and so much more~ I can’t wait for your stupid punishment to be over.”
I was careful not to voice my own thoughts on said ‘punishment,’ and even more careful not to let it show as I smiled at her from ear to ear. I was happy for her support, and that was all that mattered.
The place must have been busy with how long we were left staring into each other’s eyes and making small talk. It had felt like eons by the time the curtains parted and a waitress poked her head through.
“Sorry about the wait, you two. We have a busy night tonight, limited staff, and there was… a disgruntled couple that needed to talk to the manager.” The razor-thin thestral shook her head with a small frown before forcing a wide beaming smile and flipping through her notepad to a fresh page. “What would you like? The usual? Or do you two want to browse the menu this time?”
“Heya, Hazelnut. You know we don’t mind. Is it just you, Chestnut, and Nebula again?” Squeezing Diamond’s hoof one last time, I pulled away and turned to nod to our waitress.
“Yeah…” The mare shook her head. “Starfruit and Moonpie are still looking after the foals, and all our temps just do not last.”
“Mmm… that sucks.” I closed my eyes and blew out my nose as I debated sharing a little bit of confidential information. “Would it help if I told you a certain lieutenant may or may not be under consideration for a promotion?”
Hazelnut’s smile became a full-on beam of moonlight. “Wha? You mean your parents—”
I nodded. “Don’t tell him or your other herdmates. Dad was talking about it with Mom a few nights ago, but it’s not a surefire thing.”
“Oh, that would just be the best!” Rustling her leathery wings, Hazel giggled and clapped her hooves. “If Wolf Fang got promoted, we might have enough to hire a couple foal sitters and bring Star and Moon back to work!” Doing a little dance, the waitress worked her jitters out before promptly smiling and flipping her notepad back open when I coughed. “Sorry. Sorry. I completely got carried away.”
“It’s fine.” With a picture perfect smile, Diamond put her menu down—odd, as I didn’t remember her getting one nor did I have one. She had to have swiped it right from Hazel’s apron. “I’ll take a caprese sandwich and a mocha cappuccino, extra frothy with three espresso shots rather than two and dark chocolate drizzle.”
“Three shots, dear?” Hazel giggled as she hoofed me a menu and started writing Diamond’s order down. “You have a big night ahead of you?”
“I have plans, yes.” Diamond’s nod left her snoot slightly raised as she smiled hungrily down on me. “Whether or not she bites is another matter.”
Burying myself in the menu to avoid the heat of her gaze, I distracted myself by looking for something to order. “I’ll take the tuna salad sandwich if you have it. You know how I like my coffee.”
“Extra dark with a half-flask of freshly suckled bovine liquour.” Hazel smiled as she took my shield and started backing out of the booth. “It’ll just be a bit, then.”
With Hazel gone, Diamond immediately smirked, reached out to hold hooves, and began to scandalously run her rear hoof up my leg beneath the table. “Alone again at last~ Where were we, hrmm?~”
“I don’t know~ Staring into each other's eyes like we were makes it so hard to think~” With a chuckle, I leaned in to kiss Diamond. “Maybe if we go back to that it’ll jog my memory~”
“Awww… really, that’s all you want?~” Diamond tittered and hid her mouth with her other hoof. “Wouldn’t you rather I spoil your appetite with something more… substantial?~”
“Hah! With you, Diamond, a bit of eye candy is more than filling enough~” Flashing my fangs in a grin, I gave her hoof a squeeze and waggled my brows extra Daddily.
“Pffft. Dork.” With a snort and a laugh, Diamond rolled her eyes and pulled back her hoof to slug me. “Fine, be that—” I lunged for a sneak attack. “Mrgmrff! Mrgmmm-mrgmmm!” She squirmed for a bit, trying to say something before giving up and melting into me.
Her lips were smooth as silk, her tongue as slippery as a silver snake’s.
The table groaned and teetered loudly beneath us as we both wrestled for control of the kiss, and I asserted my dominance as the predator to her prey by pushing her back and across the table, advancing to her side of the field to pin her down to the booth. There was a satisfying pop of suction as I pulled my head back to grin down at her momentarily, but a true general always knows when to press the attack, and so I lunged once more—this time going for her neck.
One massive hickey later, I decided to let her cool down and moved to idly tracing my fangs over her soft, vulnerable flesh. Nipping, nibbling, and murmuring sweet nothings, I made my way from the side of her neck to her bare throat and squeezed just hard enough for her to feel my fangs indent her precious, princessly skin.
Blood boiling, solfire burning in my breast, it took an extreme amount of effort to retreat rather than advance even further. Diamond whined as my weight lifted and she left my winged embrace; I growled in response, words seeming pointless as we both sat there panting and trying to straighten out our clothes.
Diamond had bent some of the gold decorating my suit while pawing at me, and messing with it proved that I’d need Ms. Rarity to fix it. Buck, that was gonna be awkward. She was gonna want to know how it got like that, and I—
Hazelnut poked her head back in, eyebrow arching greatly at the new seating arrangement. “Well, now. Good thing we invested in good, sturdy, soundproof wood. Looks like a hurricane blew through here. Is it safe to pop in and drop off your food?”
With a shameless titter, Diamond fluttered her eyes and waved Hazel in as if we hadn’t been caught red-hooved. “Yes, yes, the nightingale has passed for now. One Tartarus of a storm, but don’t worry. I’ll pay for any damages.”
Dr. Devil and Mr. Hide was a pretty insulting name for a movie starring a thestral, but I rolled with it as Diamond insisted all the magazines were giving it great reviews. We bought our tickets and snacks, then sauntered into the mostly empty theater late on a Sunday night. With work and school in the morning, it was basically just the two of us. Like a cozy little cave, the theater was nice and dim as various ads rolled and the few ponies up this late trickled in.
Aunt Mercy must have snuck in after us, because Mom walked in with a scowl at one point, and there was a very familiar screep and a suddenly empty seat as somepony melted into the shadows and booked it. Muttering under her breath, Mom waved to me and walked back out after glancing around to make sure my Aunt was actually gone.
Seeing her go just made my chest all warm and fluffy. She was such a good mom, keeping her promise like that after chasing my meddlesome aunt out. Too bad the warm and fluffy feeling was dwarfed by the hot flush of shame that came with being caught with Diamond snuggled up against me, insisting we share the same seat.
“My, my~” Nuzzling up into my neck, Diamond tittered softly. “I guess you were right about being caught. Do you want me to stop?” When I was silent and squirming, trapped between her and the seat, she took it as an excuse to nuzzle incessantly for an answer.
“No…” I finally murmured, my tail wrapping around her possessively. Two sets of instincts warred as my heart pounded like a drum. There was still a part of me that wanted to die as I blushed as black as the Nightmare, even after all these years, but Mom was gone, and so I shoved the shame down and out of my mind by briefly shielding us with my wings to give my princess a trail of kisses up her neck. “But if you don’t behave yourself, next time I’m bringing hoofcuffs to keep you in your seat. Understood?”
Fluttering her eyelashes as we both pulled back, Diamond pouted with sinister intent, the force of her weapons-grade face having only gotten stronger as we matured. “You say that like I wouldn’t like it~”
Damn it, Diamond, really?
It was my own fault, to be fair. I set her up for that shot. At the very least, she didn’t push her advantage further, simply turning her pout into a smirk and booping my snoot before she turned back to the screen to start noisily eating her popcorn.
She rested calmly against me, her heart beating calmly as mine ran the gauntlet. My wings rustled stiffly, feeling oh-so-confined as she pressed me back against the seat, and as the lights dimmed further to completely shroud us in gloom save for the flickering screen, it took a significant amount of will not to sink into my shadow just so I could stretch.
There was a brief moment, as thunder rumbled and the opening credits rolled over a wonderfully dark and gloomy night, that I almost lost that fight. The movie, Diamond had said as we bought the tickets, was black and white—a sort of tribute to the old original films. The sound effects were cheap and fabricated. There was no actual thunder, only the crashing and banging of sheet metal to sound like it.
It was a cool trick, but I could hear the difference even through the speakers. As I opened my mouth to ask Diamond about it, however, there was a particularly loud clash of metal, and for just a moment, I had the bizarre thought that the last time I had felt this constrained by somepony had been when Crusty banged his hoof on my locker, breaking the lock and trapping me inside.
I froze, muscles stiffening slightly, as I imagined not Crusty but Diamond in the same position. And my brain almost shut down in horror as it realized I might enjoy being stuffed in a locker by Diamond about as much as I was enjoying her little trap right now.
Gears screeched to a halt, and the smell of burnt guano may have trickled out of my ears in smoke. My body was blazing so hot it actually made Diamond look up at me, frowning.
“Are you alright, Night? I didn’t think I was laying it on that thick.”
I gulped and smiled down. “You weren’t.”
Lies! She was! Don’t give her a load of guano like that!
“I just… had a very strange thought, and I would appreciate you not pestering me on it, okay?” My fangs may have been bared as I forced myself to smile.
“Oooookay?” Tilting her head at me, Diamond flicked an ear before shrugging and turning to lean back against me once more. She couldn’t hide it as her brow furrowed and she frowned deeply in concern. “You sure?”
I shifted my wings and whispered thanks to the Nightmother in a pitch beyond Diamond’s hearing. “I’m sure.” Whether she knew it or not, that frown of hers was helping, and I snuggled close to wrap my hooves around her.
The movie itself was… about as bad as I expected. Good by day dweller standards, but there was no way it wouldn’t have generations of thestrals rolling in their graves. At the very least, Mr. Hide was also a thestral, but he was so meek and well-mannered as to be fangless. He talked like a day dweller, and acted like a day dweller, and I could literally see the actor’s temple twitching as he happily ‘celebrated’ the Summer Sun Celebration where he and his friends were introduced.
Diamond giggled as Mr. Hide bared his fangs in a smile we both knew was meant to be more threatening than friendly, her hoof reaching up to stroke my foreleg as I aggressively slurped my soda. “Gluttons for punishment, all of you. I can’t believe he put up with a script like this. I would have quit, stormed off, and had Daddy sue their pants off.”
“If you look carefully, you can see he’s been basically standing straight this whole scene.” I whispered back. “He can’t go full guard with playing such a pansy, but that face is pretty much by the book. More emotion than usual, but still a facade. See how his ears almost vibrate as they swivel about? He’s beyond pissed about being there.”
“There were rumors that actor almost stormed out at one point.” Diamond hummed. “No pony seemed to know why. Guess this explains it. You wanna leave or keep watching?”
“I’m good to stay.” Clutching Diamond a little closer, I huffed and she giggled as my breath tickled her neck. “I want to see where it goes. Thank you for being so considerate, though.”
Giving her a soft kiss before I returned to watching, I munched on my extra-hot, super-spicy skittles, and watched as the gentle and unassuming Mr. Hide lived up to his namesake. A simple shadow who did his best to make an honest living as a respectable stallion.
Honorable and soft-spoken, given to his duties, he was the captain of the night watch—which surprised me after his horrible introduction—but he showed a lot of strength the more the movie continued. Wherever and whenever a crime occured, he was the first to show and the last to leave, a constant and comforting presence to the ponies who served under him, and especially to the lieutenant who the movie centered around.
And all of this was in contrast to his nemesis, the huge and brutish Dr. Devil.
The other thestral star could not be more crude and tribalist if the director had tried. Where Mr. Hide was slim and the very picture of a gentlestallion, Dr. Devil was a barbaric mass of muscle who delighted in hunting down those he deemed guilty and playing with them like they were nothing but food. The notes he left for the Guard as they attempted to hunt him down were taunting and uncaring for the pain he caused and the fear he spread through the town.
Bit by bit, it drew me in despite the cheesy sounds and other effects. Sure, the movie looked old, but what thestral didn’t like that? And it was a Guard movie!
It had grit! It had feeling! It had—
A discord damned plot twist with as many holes as a changeling’s horn—all driven straight through my armor and into my chest!
“What the buck do you mean Dr. Devil was Mr. Hide?!” I roared and stood up as Lieutenant Udderson was shocked and unable to do more than moo upon reading the suicide note left by his beloved captain deep in the underground lair of Dr. Devil. “How in bucking Equis does that make sense?!”
Diamond, for her part, let out the most adorably undignified squeak as she flopped forward from my sudden stand. Even as she extricated herself from the floor, she shushed me and poked me back down, flashing a smile that beamed even in the dark out to the few other movie-goers now staring up at us.
“O-kay, this movie was definitely a mistake. You mind holding it in until we’re done, Night?” Sidling up to me, she tried to use her earth pony strength to push me back down.
I could have fought if I wanted, but I didn’t as I fell back on my haunches and sighed. The movie was going on about dead parents and predatory instincts and all other kinds of guano, and it was just better to ignore it and cuddle with Diamond as she melted into me and murmured apology after apology.
“Stop apologizing, Diamond, it’s not like you knew.” I sighed softly before silencing her with a kiss. “We both wanted to see the movie, and it’s not like we haven’t seen a few that messed things up even worse. It just… caught me by surprise, I was really starting to like Mr. Hide. He was a good stallion and an honorable guard. This seemed like one of the movies that actually got things somewhat right, but no….” Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. “I guess no matter how good the thestral, we all have a bloodthirsty killer lurking inside us.”
“I really should have done a little more looking into it.” Diamond frowned hard enough that I could feel it as she nuzzled into my chest. “Should I get Daddy to sue them for you? I was just joking before, but this? I’m so sorry I suggested this….”
“No, it’s fine.” With another sigh, I squeezed her tight. “It was still fun, and I got to watch it with you, so it was a million times better.”
“Shamelessly flattering me even now?~” Diamond tittered quietly as the credits started rolling, wriggling closer as I wrapped both hooves and wings around her to stroke her back.
“Mmm… it isn’t shameless if a princess like you deserves every bit of it.” Exhaling through my nose, I smiled as Diamond pressed closer. “Did you have anything else in mind you wanted to do? I know this was all we had planned, but I really don’t want it to end. It’s gonna suck waiting a whole week to do this again.”
“I thought you said your Mom and Aunt were gonna be watching us like a hawk?” As she looked up with a predatory grin, Diamond waggled her brows. “You were the one insisting we keep things to the book not two hours ago after dinner.”
“That was then. This is now.” With a little snort, I chuffed and laid my head across Diamond, further wrapping her in my clutches. “It’s been a while since we went stargazing. How about that? I’m sure if I tell Mom the movie was awful she’ll understand.”
Diamond wordlessly just arched her brow as she gave me her best impression of Silver Spoon.
“What?” I gazed back, face the perfect picture of a stone cold stoic soldier.
“Oh, nothing. I just wasn’t expecting this… pleasant turn of events.” Diamond’s smile was small enough she would have made any veteran Guard proud.
“And just what is that supposed to mean?” My own smirk was just as tiny, but it was beyond smug as a slug.
“I mean that you aren’t one to bend the rules unless it’s important.”
“And?“ Blinking several times, I tilted my head with glacial slowness. “I still don’t get why you’re so surprised here. It is important. You’re important.”
“Mmmm…” Diamond’s humming trailed into the silent and empty theater as the few other ponies filed out. It wore at me—eroded me—turning my tiny smirk into a well-etched frown. “Am I, though?”
“Are you what?” My wings rustled as I squirmed.
“Am I really that important to you?” Diamond shrugged nonchalantly at her own blasphemous words.
My mouth flailed for a few moments as my brain tried to understand not once, not twice, but thrice. “Errr… I don’t think… Why would you… Of course you’re that important to me! How could you even say that?!”
There was another horrible shrug from Diamond that I could feel hammering every bone in my body as she continued to lean back into me. “How could I not think that when my loyal knight is planning to leave me behind and galavant off to some forsaken pit of Tartarus? I know you, Night. I know you’re going to want to throw yourself in the thick of things when you become a Guard.”
“So? That doesn’t… that doesn’t mean you aren’t important to me.” Ears splaying back, I wilted into my shadow a bit. Being pinned between Diamond and the seat was quickly losing its euphoric rush, leaving me confined and trapped with my hackles rising and wings begging to run.
“True.” Diamond nodded. “But I’ve been thinking a lot recently, and I don’t know if I’m that important to you, or even if I should be…. I want to be.” Her hoof burned as it ran down my side. “Believe me. I want it so bad, but… you have your future to think of, and I have mine.”
Taking a long, deep breath, Diamond sighed. “I’ve been stuck wondering stuff like, ‘Is it right for me to wait years for you, not knowing if you’ll return?’ or ‘Is it fair for me to want to keep you closer to home?’ Hay, this past week I’ve been forced to look at whether it was wrong of me to basically push you into fighting Crusty. For all I know, that could complicate things for you down the line, and I just… I’ve been wondering if we’re expecting too much out of this? Should we just be enjoying our last year together and making what memories we can before inevitably breaking it off?”
All of Silver Fang’s warnings echoed hauntingly through my head as the past five years flashed before my eyes. It was just like Hearth’s Warming all those years ago, but so much worse. Diamond’s every word was its own spear to the chest, and I was trapped—unable to run or stop her. Everything that had been going right tonight was suddenly going terribly, terribly wrong, and my brain scrambled for a way to fix it through the pain.
I had bucked up.
I needed to fix it.
I needed to show her.
“Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you two to leave the theater so we can—”
I didn’t even let the janitor finish, wrapping my wings around Diamond and melting us both into the shadows. Holding her tight, I let my hooves and wings act as shields, something warm and familiar in the cool chill of night that surrounded us as we fell.
With a bit of luck, I could have dumped us out somewhere just outside the theater and found Mom, but no… we might get interrupted again.
That. Would. Not. Do.
Instead, I pulled us towards the warm, familiar darkness of home, and I plomfed back first into the living room floor with Diamond atop me. I craned my head, and, sure enough, there was Dad on the couch, collapsed and looking far more tired and old than he had any right to be. He’d been that way ever since the fight with Crusty, staying super late at the castle almost every day.
That was probably my fault, too, but I had bigger fish to fry.
“Dad.” I stirred slowly and carefully, momentarily forgetting all the enchantments we’d put on the house for Pushing. I wriggled and twisted to both roll over and rise while keeping Diamond on her pedestal atop me, and once up I moved to lightly nudge the sleeping bear. “Dad, come on! Get up! It’s important.”
Diamond squeaked as Dad snorted to level one eye at us.
“Is the house on fire?”
“No, Dad.” I rolled my eyes. “And that joke stopped being funny years ago.”
“Gotta respect the classics, though.” He groused and growled, stretching to give a massive, fang-filled yawn. “Probably my favorite pegasus Dad joke. What’s the problem, champ?”
“Can you go tell Mom we’re home?” I gently put a hoof on his shoulder. “She’s either still outside the movie theater and wondering where we are, or she’s started hunting us thinking we ran off.”
“Uh, sport? That sounds like you did, in fact, run off.” Dad arched a brow at me, clearly torn between wanting to frown and smile. “Not exactly the night to do that.”
“We didn’t run off. We were talking after the movie and got interrupted.” I schooled my face very, very carefully. “It’s… very important we finish that talk, okay? I’m gonna take Diamond up on the roof so we can do that while stargazing for a bit. You need to go fetch Mom.” Dad’s brow arched further and further the more I went on, but I conquered the urge to squirm and rustle my wings.
“Is that so? Alright, then.” With one more stretch, he got to his hooves and made for the door. “Is Diamond staying the night?”
From her spot atop me, Diamond finally found the courage to open her mouth even as she burned Nightmare black and squirmed like a schoolfilly. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother, so—”
“Yes.”
No backing down or time for retreat—for either of us. I cut Diamond off at the pass, making her squeak in a way I’d only heard a time or two before.
“Understood.” Dad stopped at the door to turn back and smile. “I’ll swing by Filthy’s to let him know, then. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Giving a good, solid snort, I tossed my head back. “According to Aunt Mercy, there’s not much you and Mom didn’t do back in the day; don’t get your hopes up.”
“Haha! Just covering my bases, sport.” With a big, rumbling laugh, Dad turned and opened the door. “If you say it’s just a talk, I know it’s a talk.” Waving a hoof in farewell, he stepped through the threshold and was gone, leaving me and Diamond all alone.
“You didn’t have to do that.” It was Diamond who spoke first, hugging my neck tight as she rested on my back.
“We both know that’s not true.” Looking back at her, I brought my snoot to hers and gently pressed. “So, then, let’s go talk on the roof, yeah?”
I carried her gently, with all the care a princess deserves. Through the halls and to the bathroom, I took her right beneath a good spot, and with a lazy flap of my wings I pushed us up and through the ceiling, swiping the clouds smoothly back into place with a sweep of my tail and a stomp of my hind hoof. Another leap vaulted us up and onto the top of Pushing’s room and put us at the highest point of the house; it was there I pushed some clouds into a lovenest perfectly sized for two.
“I’d… rather stay on top if that’s alright.” Diamond burned with the intensity of a thousand suns as she spoke, but I was happy to lay down on my back and let her snuggle into my chest floof. Humming happily at the contact, my cheeks burnt like toast as I waited for her to settle, cool off, and stop squirming.
“Okay, princess. Let’s set something straight.” Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I smiled. “You are the most important pony in my life right now. Mom and Dad? They’re just my inspiration. You are my moonlight. You’re the reason I strive to be better, the one who pushes me above and beyond, and the pony I would literally fight the Nightmare itself for. Hay, I might even challenge the Princesses themselves for you, that’s how important you are, understand?”
The more I talked, the more Diamond’s eyes sparkled like the star-speckled sky behind her. She sniffed as I finished, and then buried her muzzle in my chest with a strangled gasp halfway between a squee and a sob. Her earth pony hooves tried to crush me with their brutal, built-in strength, but I was her rock, sink or swim.
She never really said anything—didn’t need to. Our bodies did the talking as she snuggled close and I whispered sweet nothings in her ear. If she still had doubts down the road? Then I would simply prove my intentions again.
I was her gallant knight, and she was my precious princess, no matter how far apart or how many years passed. She was mine, and I was hers. That was all that really mattered.
“Mrgmrfff….” Diamond sniffed once more into my chest before looking up. “I love you….”
“I love you, too.” Leaning down to nuzzle her, I turned my gaze to the stars and moon above.
No longer an Ursa Minor, but an Ursa Major, it had gotten so very difficult over the years to scrounge the books together to make a proper cave whenever I wanted to fully devote myself to a study session. Luckily, the Princess of Friendship was the official unofficial Princess of Books, and Mom had agreed to let me have a day in the library to study for several upcoming tests my teachers had given her for me.
While she spent the day making all the Dawn Guard sweat just by walking around, I grabbed enough books to carve out a mountain for myself. Huddling in the shade of my cozy cave, I flipped through the pages, eyes closed. Times like these always made for good practice, so I clicked first, and only read second if I couldn’t interpret the text very well.
Math, science, equish, magical theory, I had books for just about every class in school as well as a few for the extra tests Mom was gonna give me on other stuff. More than just battle manuals and tactics, she’d given me a list of philosophy and ethics books with a few psychology texts mixed in.
Those were the bedrock of my mountain, though. They had to be read last. Mom had invoked the Blue-Eyed Demon, and she had made me Pinkie Promise to put all my real schoolwork first.
So as much as I was curious to find out what kind of alicorn The Prince was about, it was buried under a ton of other guano as I curled up with my Equish homework before me, trying not to hurl at the abomination that was Lord of the Flies. The author had to be a changeling. He just had to. There was no way a real pony could have that twisted a sense of reality.
In a world where friendship was literally magic, I could not imagine foals ever devolving into feral little beasts like that.
No…. Just, no.
I had already put the book down like three times to take a break with other subjects. Buck it being a ‘classic.’ It was neither classic nor cliché; clichés could still be enjoyable. It was a cli-shit, and I was almost ready to just take my lumps and fail that test just to make sure I didn’t lose the will to work altogether.
Math was sounding so much better right now, what with its rules and cold hard logic. Math had yet to ever betray me, and I would rather die than think it could be so cruel as to—
Opening up my Calculus book, I paused as the title of the next chapter echoed up to me.
‘Limits and You Part 3: How Everything You Previously Knew Was A Lie’
“Eeenope.” Promptly shutting the book, I instead resolved to avoid that monster by opening my physics book.
“Night? Are you still there?” Mom’s voice drifted through my wall of paper and ink.
“Yeah!” I called back as I looked halfway between her and the book. One ear swiveled down while the other perked towards Mom, allowing me to both read as I listened, or so I hoped. “Is it time to go already?”
“No, dear, you still have a few hours. You wanted a whole day and night, and you’re getting it. No, I’m here because you apparently have a guest.”
“I have a what?” I blinked and opened my eyes, pausing in my clicks to give Mom my full attention.
“Yeah, that’s what I said when this gangly unicorn showed up to ask your Dad where he could find you. In his own words, he has ‘finished raising you yet more soldiers for your army of darkness.’”
“Euuuurgh… Calculated Plans? Really? What the buck is he doing out here rather than at games club?” With a groan, I buried my head in my hooves. “I didn’t even ask for any more minis!”
“According to him? He asked Button where our house was and upon finding we were out, he trudged up here to ask your father where you might be. I listened to them for a good five minutes before coming to find you. I can’t figure out if he’s being doggedly persistent or unable to take hints, but I give him… another ten minutes before he fries your father’s brain?”
“Don’t mind him. He does that.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “You get used to it. He is… beyond incredibly smart, but that makes him a little dense. He’s real good with numbers and logistics, but really bad with ponies. Despite all the love and care he puts into painting those freaking minis, every Discord damned one is just another body he’s happy to lose. I still haven’t managed to beat him at that war game Button got me into, no matter how hard I try! Every time, it ends with him saying I should have sacked this or I should have killed that! Bucking civvy…”
Mom’s brow furrowed at my words, her head poking into the cave to check on me. “Night, dear, until you’re through boot, you're a civvy just as much as him.”
“No.” I puffed out my chest. “I am a military brat. I should be way better at tactics than him!”
“But you aren’t?”
“No, not even close….” I sighed. “So I really just don’t want to see him right now, okay? I'm already dwelling on enough mistakes with that whole Crusty buck-up….”
“Well, then…" Mom's pause was long as she hummed in thought. "That’s too bad, Night, because as of right now, I’ve decided that that’s exactly what you’re going to do. I’ll be right back with him. Trust me. It’ll be good for you!” Mom’s head was gone in a flash.
“Errr… What? Wait! No!” As I stood to give chase and explain a million reasons why that was a bad idea, my elephant-sized flank hit the walls of my cozy enclosure to bring the whole mountain avalanching down. By the time I dug myself out, Mom was almost certainly too far gone, so I sighed and started cleaning up as I awaited my doom.
“Hello, Nightingale. Button told me you were suspended.” And there he was, my accursed nemesis. His emotionless voice was only matched by his dead, soulless eyes—the eyes of a killing machine.
"Aye." Eyeing him warily, I licked my lips. "Games club is today, yeah? Shouldn't you be there?"
Giving a slow, ponderous blink, he tilted his head. "Yes? But Button said you were suspended."
Great, that answered everything and nothing.
"What does that have to do with anything? Mom said you had minis, but I didn't ask you to paint any." Heaving a heavy sigh, I gestured to the books behind me. "I'm kind of in the middle of studying, so…"
"You're about due for a break from schoolwork." Stepping up from behind him, Mom smiled. "And I figured this would be more fun than what I originally had planned. It'll also be educational, with any luck, so it's two lightning bolts with a single strike."
"Plus it's games club today." Putting his bag down, he started rifling through it. "It would be a crime not to play something." Each of his saddlebags were stuffed with storage boxes for minis, and while I recognized the ones for his preferred troops, there was a whole bag stuffed full of new minis for me.
"Dude, what the buck?" Picking up one of the boxes, I blinked on seeing the dark ebony wood inlaid with silver filigree and sealed with a clasp bearing my cutie mark. "Custom storage? This must have cost a fortune! I can't pay you for this!"
Pausing in his unpacking, Calculated blinked. "Pay? These are all a gift. Wasn't that obvious?"
A… gift?
"No, it wasn't." The urge to rub the bridge of my nose was strong as I exhaled. "A gift for what? When did you even find the time or resources to make these?!" Looking over the entire set of boxes, I estimated it to be an entire army which was way, way too much.
"It's a lot cheaper if you carve the minis yourself." He shrugged. "And once you can carve a mini, carving a box is easy. There's also special illusionary paint you can mix if you've got the aptitude for it—which I do—so I can hide the wood grain and do a couple other little things like fake metal sheets or add some extra gloss to the finish. If you poke the filigree there, you'll be able to feel the wood and paint."
Damn, he was right. Pretty crafty for displays, but it wasn't as much a flawless masterpiece as it looked as I took a few seconds to feel them over.
"As to what it's for?" He gave another shrug. "Well… I don't want to ruin the surprise. Open them up, and you'll see. I hope… I'm not really good at this gift stuff, but I spent basically all of the last two weeks painting them. I didn't go to the games club, and I didn't do homework; I didn't even know the school had suspended you until today when I showed up to give them to you at the club."
Ahhhh, buck… now I really couldn't refuse them. Why the hay would he spend so much time and effort—
As I opened the box and stared down, my brain slowly ground to a halt, smoking as the gears tried and failed to turn. "It's me."
"Ah, so you opened the first commander, then?" Calculated nodded and moved over to look down. "Some of my better work. I know your last army was full of Succubi, Wyches, and Hellions, but you struck me as an Incubus, even if they're supposed to all be male in the lore. If you lift that layer up and look underneath, there's a set of bodyguards for her to personally lead."
I was a little faster than I should have been shifting through the packing. Sure enough, he was right, though. Little me had a personal army of shadow clones just as big and bulky and armored as her. His painting made me burn with envy at just how realistic the burning shadows filling the armor looked. I could pull my own shadow out of the ground right now and it would look faker.
Each was posed in a form I knew well. Whether they were fighting or biting, whether they snarled or growled, every single one was posed exactly like I would be during a scuffle. "I… take it you were at the fight with Crusty?" Biting my lip, my voice was quiet as I spoke.
"Fights aren't my thing, but when else was I going to get a chance to see a traditional thestral duel? There was no way in Tartarus I was missing that." He nodded again. "It was very awe-inspiring—very humbling. I just had to make you these, especially since it was all to put those bullies in their place. Did you know there are ponies that have the gall to say you were the one to take things too far? I don't know what they expected. You were stuck facing twenty-to-one odds. Of course you were going to use all your special rules and attacks."
"Errr… yeah, crazy, isn't it?" Instead of opening that particular can of rotten worms, I started going through all the boxes, and sure enough, they were all like me, even when they weren't completely modeled to be me. The way they stood, the way they bared their fangs, even the stoney scowls and big, elephant wings. Even the stallions looked like shadows of me with how terrifyingly accurate the poses were.
The only models that weren't scarily like me were the homunculus monstrosities. I didn't know if it was apt or insulting that he'd modeled those after Dad. They were still a horrible mishmash of flesh and limbs, but the head captured Dad’s snarl from that night so perfectly as to make my hackles raise. Images of crying into his shoulder as he glared down at the broken Crusty with absolute hate and revilement flashed before my eyes as I looked at the figures, and it was so…
…undadly.
That more than all the rest of the models sent my stomach churning with a mix of emotions.
Terror and fear, hate and disgust, pride and joy.
How was I supposed to feel about this?
“Do you like them?” As unable to read faces as he was, it was times like this where Calculated was most trying.
“I… yeah, I love them.” Carefully putting them away, I set the last box down and exhaled slowly.
And I did love them. They represented an amazing amount of work. I just had to focus on that rather than where he’d gotten inspiration for all the models.
“There isn’t really a good place to use them in the castle, though. At least, there isn’t one open to the public. We could have maybe used one of these tables here, but it doesn’t look like you brought terrain, so—”
“There was a perfectly serviceable table three halls back behind some giant crystal doors.” The fact that Calculated’s tail wagged should have been a warning. “It was absolutely huge, and had the perfect map of Equestria, complete with zoom and day and night cycles! It’s exactly the sort of map they use in tourneys!”
Hoof met face. Hard. “Calculated… you’re talking about the council room and Princess Twilight Sparkle’s map. No.”
“But it…”
“No.”
“But—”
“You know, I hate to interject, but I really don’t mind if you use it.”
I nearly leapt out of my skin as Twilight rounded another aisle while levitating a swarm of books.
“I actually play Ogres and Oubliettes as well as other tabletop stuff on it whenever Shining comes over. Spike, Discord, and Big Mac use it for their games, too. Just make sure one of you always keeps an eye on it. The castle loves switching pieces and cheating to help its favorite players.”
“P-P-Princess?!” I immediately bowed with Mom more casually following suit instead of ending up a tangled mass of limbs like me. “How long have you been there?!”
“Long enough. It is my library, after all.” She giggled like absolutely nothing was wrong.
“Hrmmm…” As Calculated stood there and stared up and off into the distance, it took dedicated effort to not growl at him to bow. “Your castle… cheats? How?”
“It’s a genius loci powered by friendship and capable of rearranging all the rooms and furniture within itself provided no pony is actively watching.” Princess Twilight shrugged. “Spike likes to joke that the Tree of Harmony thought I needed more reminders to eat since one baby dragon just isn’t enough.”
“It’s never been the number of reminders, Princess.” Mom chuckled as she rose back to her hooves and looked up at the Princess. “It’s about grabbing your attention in the first place. Once you start something, it’s impossible to drag you away.”
“I-I’ve gotten better about that!” Princess Twilight stammered and rustled her wings like a filly being scolded. I blanched at the sight, looking to Mom who just shrugged at me and grinned.
“Don’t give me that look, Night. I’m off duty while homeschooling you.”
“But you can’t just…” I flailed a hoof about. “…not to the Princess!”
Mom snorted. “Oh, I can, and I will. Besides, she’s the one who wants her guards fast and loose with their mouths.”
“Eurff!” Tossing my hooves up, I hastily gathered my things and motioned to Calculated who was off in his own little world reading a rulebook and muttering to himself. “Come on. Let’s just go set up.”
Mom and the Princess followed—because, of course, they both wanted to watch—and I was quick to start sweating bullets as they chatted and giggled in ways Mom had never done back in the Solar Guard. I was never gonna get used to her and Dad losing their stoic touch, even after all the years we’d been in Ponyville. And right here, right now? Their chatting gave me all kinds of shivers. My frogs were clammy and white as my nerves tried to get the best of me, all my previous losses to Calculated flashing through my head.
I needed to beat him today.
I just had to.
Blinking at the map as we entered the room, I paused upon seeing an unfamiliar landscape. It was not the projection of Equestria that I had seen a few rare times before. No, it was a range of icy mountains and hills. Dotted with trees and rocks, capped with clouds and blizzards, there was no shortage of cover for either of us to use.
Calculated immediately made his way over to it, circling like a shark until, with a small nod, he hummed in approval. “An adequate battlefield for us. The terrain is too treacherous for my usual setup, but it will be good practice to deploy in unfavorable conditions.”
Setting his boxes down, he quickly located his monstrous sack of dice. “Shall we roll for deployment and initiative?”
“You’re rolling for… what?” Mom was leaning against the wall beside the door as she watched.
“Deployment and initiative.” From her front row seat and throne, Twilight clapped her hooves as she pulled a rulebook from somewhere. I wasn’t sure which idea was worse—her already having it in the swarm of books following her or her pulling it from the aether itself. Both thoughts were as terrifying as the mock general’s cap that screamed of Rarity’s work now sitting in place of the crown on her head. “Since they’re skirmishing and not playing out a campaign, they need a way to figure out who attacked whom and stuff like that.”
“I see.” Mom’s hum made me fidget as I clutched the dice in my hooves and whispered a prayer to the Nightmother.
My luck was a mixed bag today, it seemed. I won the deployment roll, but Calculated was going first. Denying him cover was more important than ever; I’d be needing the heaviest of it to shield me from an immediate salvo from his unicorns and pegasi.
Grimacing at the board, I started by claiming the highest mountain top with a transport holding five of the Incubi Calculated had just given me. It was a fragile ship, but it had cloud cover to protect it now. The mountain was in a good spot to make him think twice of taking some of the other cover on the map, and I could easily rush my choice of targets from the vantage I had taken.
None of that seemed to matter, however, as the instant I placed it both Mom and Calculated hummed and arched their brow.
“Interesting choice.” Calculated peered at the table from several angles before taking a small group of unicorns and placing them atop a different mountain. Far away on his edge of the board, devoid of any clouds or cover, I hadn’t paid it much mind before. “Though, if you think every soldier of mine needs cover, you are in for a surprise.”
What was he… Wait. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!
Scrambling around the table, I lowered my head to the level of Calculated’s unicorns and peered toward the top of my mountain. Sure enough, this mountain was just high enough that his troops could see me. No clouds for cover on his end, but he didn’t need to worry about mine. Just how far could those unicorns fire?
I growled at my blunder, and started peering from each and every mountain top to see what angles of approach each had. “I… am keeping my commander in reserve.”
Calculated blinked. “Really? A first time for everything, I suppose.”
Watch and wait…. Just watch and wait…. I needed a better idea of how he was deploying.
Another small group of unicorns was placed atop another mountain on his end. Was it added insurance to take out my forward force? Or just an attempt at hiding his future intentions? Buck, it would be so much easier to think about this if I wasn’t sweating hard enough to flood the table. I could feel Mom’s eyes as they looked over me and the table, and I couldn’t help but feel this was a test of some kind.
Mom said little, however, as deployment continued, and every step I took to outmaneuver Calculated only made it painfully clear how much better he was at planning for every possible outcome. If I denied him one strategic location, he would just find another. With all the cover on the board, he was able to spread his army impossibly wide, and though I could certainly close in on some of his forces, he made sure I would have to tear through plenty of fodder and meatshields to reach anything important.
I had no room to flank him with my commander and her shadows like I had wanted either. He had meticulously placed everything to deny me any good spots to spring them from the shadows. My only hope was going to be to open space and then bring them in, but that was going to cost valuable time and resources.
As I looked over the board, I could literally feel the despair well up in me. So many were going to die if I was to have a hope at victory. It was… inevitable. It was always inevitable with Calculated, and there was nothing I could do.
“Shall we begin, then?” He levitated his lucky cup up to rattle the dice of doom.
I gulped, but nodded as I fought the urge to fidget and rustle my wings. This was not that hard. I had trained all my life to save others. A little war game should be nothing.
The horns of valor were calling; the hymns of the Nightmother rang. As the dice fell and the first shots were taken, I was forced to watch the overpowering might of my enemies’ magic from where I brooded in darkness, waiting to strike.
“Pray that your magic is enough, hühnerblut. Should my forces break your line, I will make you pay for all the suffering you’ve caused.”
The sweet shade of midnight was, as always, our greatest ally, and yet the heathens before us stole away that small comfort even as the battle began. One of their sub-commanders barked an order, and the harsh, hungry light of the sun was suddenly blazing in the sky. White enough to sear the eyes, it hung like an eye above us, casting judgment on those below.
Blinding my troops.
Burning them.
Revealing them.
The blessed blanket of the Nightmother was gone as the flare hung with angry and malevolent light. While my own troops hissed at the miniature sun searing their eyes and bodies, the enemy rallied behind cries to slay all monsters of the night. Unfettered by clouds and with the skies as clear as day, a group of their holy clerics chanted on a far off mountaintop to suddenly let loose a raging blast of solfire.
The full might of the sun witch—bless and curse her name—flew true to strike the small ship I had trusted to lead the advance, and my heart clenched in pain as I could do naught but watch from the shadows.
One. Two. Three. Four. I cursed anew. Fortune favored me that I only lost one of the five mighty warriors within, yet even that was a heavy burden on my heart. My gaze paused on the wreckage for a moment, but I could see no sign of the crew climbing out of the ship as shots continued to fly.
Nightmare take the sun-blasted heretics. How could the day dwellers think the sisters of sun and moon wanted this? Why did the Mourning Star not stop them?
As the first dreadful volley ended, the enemy’s flare burnt itself out and night returned. Smoldering embers fell from the spot the dreaded star had hung, like tears falling from the heavens. I wondered if their goddess was forced to watch every time her so-called followers fought in her name, and pity warred with smoldering hate in my chest at the thought.
Did they hate the Nightmother so much that they could not even leave us to grieve her passing?
Did they—
“Uh, Night? Are you crying? You haven’t even had a turn yet.”
Blinking at the fact Calculated had managed to add a smidge of emotion to his normally dead drone, I became painfully aware of the fact that while my Commander had the luxury of hiding, I didn’t. Quickly rubbing at my eyes, I knew there was only one thing that could hide my shame.
“N-no! I just got some shrapnel in my eye!” I rubbed all the harder to avoid the stares, but that couldn’t save me from hearing Mom’s amused snort nor from dying in the face of Princess Twilight’s giggles.
“Shrapnel?” A few clicks highlighted Calculated tilting his head with clockwork precision. “But we aren’t actually firing shots.”
“Dust, then!” Settling behind my shades, I was determined to stonewall Calculated no matter what he said. My frogs sweated hard as he cast his gaze around the sparkling death trap that was the throne room—spotlessly clean and all the more blinding for it.
“Mmm… alright, then.” He turned back to the table and buried his nose in his rulebook. “Take all the time you need for your turn, then.”
Errr… wait, what? How did he buy that?
“Yes, yes… I’ve gotten crystal dust in my eyes in Thaumaturgy class. It is absolutely the worst.” Flipping a few pages in his book, he stopped for a moment, hummed, and then pulled out a second rulebook for my army to start referencing the troops I had on the board.
Was… was he playing me? Was this some sort of mind game? Or just his usual him-ness? I swear, if he was pretending not to notice out of pity, I was gonna—
“Oh, tell me about it.” Princess Twilight smiled knowingly as she looked at me, but her response was addressed to the book-buried Calculated. “The only thing worse than getting it in the eye is accidentally inhaling it. If you’re lucky, it’s only a little and you just sneeze, but there was this one time I hiccuped in the middle of a summoning ritual. Instead of tea time with Fluttershy and Flooferzhad—daemon prince of fluffy bunnies—I was stuck coughing up blood while banishing a rampaging Flooferzhic—daemon prince of cuddles.”
Well, at least the Princess was helping me cover.
“Wait. Daemons actually exist?” The flipping pages paused as Calculated was even further distracted.
“Probably not like you’re thinking, but yes.” Mom was next at bat, and that made me feel so warm yet so embarrassed at the same time.
I was an adult! I didn’t need her covering for me! I definitely wasn’t sniffing as I mentally finished the last of the letters to my dear, departed troops in my head!
Mom’s chuckle cared not for my needs, though. “My husband has gotten more than a few cracked limbs protecting the princess here from being hugged to death.”
“Hrmmm…
Oh no. I had heard that hum before. I lived in fear of it.
“Sounds like the company got that bit of lore right, then. And here I thought they just made up the demon faction. Where can I find a book on them, Princess?” He asked her with a perfectly straight face, no sign of understanding nor fear.
I, however, had been hugged exactly once by one—not counting Pinkie Pie—and that was more than enough nightmare fuel.
It. Had. Also. Been. Pink. There were two Pinks!
It hurt my batty, little brain just thinking about it.
Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I sighed. “Sweet milk of Luna, Calculated, please tell me you aren’t planning on summoning a demon.”
He blinked and looked at me. “But a real life model would be so much better than my books. I already have plenty of illustrations in my books.”
Stepping up to Calculated, I set a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m taking my turn now. Drop it.”
“But I—“
“Drop it!”
From the shadows, I pointed my hooves at the enemy forces. My whispers traveled through the chill night air, carried on starlight and dreams. The echoes of war sounded as my troops sang their silent dirge, and with hollow hearts and heated spirits, they descended on the enemy to wreak vengeance.
My hellions screed in defiance as they shot down the mountains to either side of the battlefield. They had been hit the hardest, and their once massive flocks were now scattered and thinned. Precious time was wasted as they converged and readied to charge, and as they descended upon the many isolated groups dotting the hills and valleys, earth ponies and pegasi charged forth to act as meat shields for their unicorn brethren.
Spears were chucked at my onrushing forces to pick a few more of them off, and the earth ponies leveled enormous lances to skewer even more at the moment of impact. Swarms that once darkened our skies seemed like naught but gnats before our foes.
And yet, even as gnats, my troops fought with dire ferocity. Fangs tore into throats; claws sliced into flesh. Nightmare-touched steel burnt the souls of both friend and foe alike. Some of my troops thrashed and howled as the Nightmare took them—their anger and agony and grief simply too much to bear—and I forced myself to watch as they lost themselves in their thirst for vengeance.
Hellions and nightmare spawn alike tore through my foe and surged forward to encircle a few of the sun-blasted unicorns, but they made less progress than I hoped, and my heart grew heavy at how many unicorns would be free to fire unopposed in the coming salvo.
My so-called vanguard of incubi dashed forward, yet without their ship, they could not make it to the fight in time, and so I hesitantly called forth the latest lumbering aberrations my army’s wretched gravetender had made. The old bat reveled in taking the souls of the damned day dwellers and coalescing them into horrible beasts.
His latest batch was no exception—made of pulsating Nightmare blue flesh that melted and bubbled and slithered. Tentacles oozed with stagnating corruption, and snarling heads glared with hatred so pure it left one unable to move. Occasionally an eye opened within the mass of heresy given flesh, and every bubbling boil popped with a gasp and the silent scream of some poor soul seeking help.
They gurgled out a horrible, soul-melting roar as they appeared, and the world itself buckled in wrongness. Air bent and flowed to escape the sound they made, a vacuum being left in its wake that left several groups of enemy troops choking without any noise in the ominous absence.
The unnerving quiet hung for a few seconds before collapsing explosively as the world attempted to right itself, air rushing back in with enough force that the troops unable to stagger free were crushed into a violent and bloody pulp.
My blood boiled at the necessity of it all, and yet, with any luck the poor souls would be laid to rest rather than joining their brothers within the aberrations. Stars above, I hated them; I needed to make sure they were put down, and having them act as cover for my incubi until they could close and cut the remaining enemies down would help with that.
The next unicorn salvo was just about ready, after all. My other ships were trying to snipe a few last key targets, but the cover was just too dense. Come Nightmare or Daydream, my forces needed to survive one more volley that I might finally emerge from the shadows and lead the final charge.
I prayed enough might survive that we could earn the dead their vengeance.
I owed them that much…. Hiding in the shadows as I was—waiting to strike rather than living and dying leading by glorious example—this had all been a terrible mistake.
Worship me as their commander, my troops might, but right here and now, I was nothing more than a coward. No, it was worse than that, I was a—
“Hrmmm…. That’s a rather interesting use of your aberrations.” Calculated furrowed his brow. “I wasn’t expecting you to use them as cover, though I suppose it makes sense.” Bringing his head level with various squads, he used their line of sight to glance over the wall of pulsating monstrosities and frowned even further. “It’s very unlike you, really, but I applaud the move. I can't line up a shot on the troops behind them, and I’m definitely not killing the aberrations themselves in one turn. It’s a very excellent use of meat shields.”
Wait. What? Was that… praise? Oh… oh, no… I had just tossed some of my units in front of others expecting them to die.
I was becoming him.
“I-it’s not like that!” Shaking my head, I literally spat out the thought before it could take root. “I just don’t like the lore behind those. The souls of the dead should be allowed to rest, not ground up into monsters and used as war machines. The fact Dark Templars have stuff like that is just… It bothers me, okay? It’s the last thing any thestral would ever want.”
Calculated blinked a bit before nodding. “I can understand that, I suppose. This is a griffon game, though, you know. They love making their war games extra gritty and dark. There are no good guys in a world consumed by war; every faction is like that, even mine.”
“I know.” Pouting, I kicked the ground. “Still… those things cross a line. It doesn’t count if I sacrifice them. All that does is let me put their tortured souls to rest.” Crossing my hooves, I frowned at the board. “Unlike you, I don’t go out of my way to sacrifice my troops' lives. Those pegasi of yours had no business in being left so vulnerable. The earth ponies I get, but if you’d held your pegasi back, you could have counter-charged.”
Levitating his glasses off, Calculated pulled a spray bottle from his saddlebags to clean them. “True, but I was worried you’d roll well and tear through every single one of my earth ponies.” He gestured at the map to where two pockets of my hellions had broken through to engage his unicorns. “See that? If it had happened with the rest of your hellions, I wouldn’t even be able to get a unicorn salvo off on you. Those pegasi were insurance.”
“A harsh assessment, but true.” Mom stepped forward from where she rested against the wall to glance the board over. “Correct me if I’m wrong—all three of you certainly know the game itself better.” Mom gave a nod to me, Calculated, and Princess Twilight. “But it appears my daughter’s forces are, true to thestral fashion, the sort of troops that perform best when upfront and personal.”
“That is a rather accurate assessment.” Princess Twilight nodded. “Dark Templar do have ranged options, but Nightingale’s army here has only a few of them present.”
Holy moon and stars above, Princess Twilight knew my name. I mean, of course she did. She’d used it before on occasion, but it was always so weird to hear my meager name on her lips. She was the first to ascend in— Okay, I guess there was Cadance, but Cadance didn’t bring back Princess Luna!
And the way she said it was so… informal.
Gah!
Levitating up a swagger stick to gesture to my troops, the princess smiled from beneath her generals cap with far too much warmth for the role. “Her force is mostly shock troops, mobile strike squads, and a few airships acting as long range artillery as the majority of her army closes the distance to rip the Day Guard a new one.”
“I see.” Mom’s gaze followed the head of the swagger stick intently as she licked her lips. “Definitely the right move, tossing those pegasi in the blender, then.”
What? Betrayal! Don’t praise him for sending ponies to die!
“Mom! How could you say that?! Those guards have wives! Foals! Entire lives of their own back home!” I reared back as if struck by her words. Calculated was rolling dice in the background, but I could barely hear what he was muttering to himself about.
“And?” Mom arched her brow. “You, your father, and I all have lives of our own, too. You know what it means to enlist. You have for a long time now.”
“But that’s not— I don’t endanger— He’s throwing lives away! Guards don’t do that! They save lives!”
“It saved plenty of lives doing that.” Mom shook her head. “He kept his unicorns alive, and that’s the most important thing he could do. See?” She gestured to the board, and I saw that all the surviving earth ponies and pegasi had fallen back to make another ring of protection, while my hellions continued to drop like flies as Calculated’s unicorns slung spell after spell.
“I can’t even… How can you take his side here?” With a groan, I clutched my head and staggered to my knee.
“Sides? We aren’t taking sides here.” Princess Twilight giggled. “You’re both doing very—”
“Speak for yourself, Princess.” Mom snorted and shook her head, moving to rest a hoof on my shoulder. “You are going to need to learn that being a commander and being a guard are two very different things if you want to follow in mine and your father’s hoofsteps, Night. Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made.” She tapped my chest. “You know that here already. You’ve shown you’re ready on more than one occasion, at least when it comes to sacrificing yourself. Leading troops, though? It requires a different kind of sacrifice—one that is not for everypony.”
With a low, guttural growl, I rustled my wings. “So you are taking his side?”
“No.” Mom chuckled. “I’m taking your side. I thought this would be a nice, little break, but you’re clearly taking it way too seriously. As your self-appointed military advisor, I’m making sure you understand why Calculated is making his decisions.”
“Okay, then, wise and all-mighty Mom.” The growl in my throat lessened, though I still rustled my wings irritably. “Do you have any advice on how to beat him?”
“Oh, heavens no.” With a bark of laughter, Mom cast her eyes over the table. “This is your game, not mine; I haven’t a clue about any of the rules. My best advice is to just have fun with it, but since you are so dead set on turning your break into more work?” Mom retreated back to her place by the wall with a shrug. “I thought I’d add a little lesson in.”
As I turned to focus on the table with a grumble, Calculated rolled one last set of dice before nodding. “Your turn, Night.”
Wait. What? Did he really…
“How?” I opened and closed my mouth a few times. “I didn’t even make any rolls to dodge your attacks!”
“That would be what those dice by each of your units is for. You seemed rather busy, so I hedged my bets and divvied up my shots without waiting for your rolls. It might end up wasting a few shots if you roll poorly, but based on the math—”
My hoof stuck itself over his mouth to get him to stop. “Alright, alright, I get it.” Looking at the dice I had to roll, I noted there were fewer than I expected from his unicorns. A part of me wondered if he’d fudged his rolls and taken pity on me, but I quickly brushed it away.
This was Calculated here. All logic and no brain. He didn’t fight dirty or cheat; he certainly didn’t show pity.
Picking up the dice, I rolled to see how many troops I lost. Not many, but even those few were too many.
“You have the Nightmare’s own luck it seems.” Twilight perked on seeing the rolls.
“You mean Nightmother’s.” I retorted without looking back.
There was the rustle of paper and books as the princess nerded out. “Actually, the lore for the game clearly states that Luna—”
“If she says it’s the Nightmother’s, it’s the Nightmother’s, aye, Princess?” Mom spoke softly.
“But the lore—”
“Aye, Princess?”
I frowned at Mom’s tone even as my eyes stayed glued to the table. Various plans flitted through my head, and I liked none of them. I couldn’t safely slip my commander in without suffering even worse losses, but perhaps…
Perhaps that was okay?
Yes, it was all coming together. I had a plan, and a risky one at that, but if it worked I’d be able to rub it in Calculated’s face.
Picking up my commander and her guard, I put them down one by one in a small section of map that left me surrounded on all sides. I was careful to put myself as close to my target as possible so that a whole inch was shaved from their charge, and then I started fitting as many of my shadows as I could beside her.
Calculated hummed on seeing me appear in the middle of his tasty, tasty troops. “Err… Nightingale? What are you doing? There isn’t enough room there to place those troops down there.”
“Not all of them, no.”
The constant and idle turning of rulebook pages paused for a moment before rapidly increasing in speed. “Come again?”
“The rules clearly state that if I try to bring in reinforcements, and not all of them fit, then the rest are treated as casualties.” Quick with the measuring tape, I measured how far every one of Calculated’s models was from me. “I won’t be able to bring all of my shadows in, but I will bring in enough of them to ruin you from within. I am going to dismantle you from the inside with nothing but me and…” One last measurement deepened my pensive frown. “Three of my personal guards.”
“Ohhhh… that’s quite the cheeky play,” said Princess Twilight. “Reminds me of when I charged Nightmare Moon horn first.”
Mom snorted and ruffled her wings as she walked up next to the Princess. “You do love playing the hero. I still have dreams about the day you teleported Mettle and me into the middle of Grogar’s undead army.”
“Oh, it wasn’t so bad, was it? Both of you had been complaining about the paperwork so much, I figured letting you be front and center in a little adventure would brighten your day.” Clopping her hooves together, Twilight squeed. “I still have that mid-fight kiss squarely at number sixty-nine in my Top Hundred Friendship Forever Moments list!
“Princess, brightening me and my husband's day should not have taken priority over teleporting in with Starlight and Tempest.”
“Yes, yes… you’ve told me a million times, but Starlight and Tempest could have blown up that army in less time than I had to sneeze at Grogar. I wanted you two to—” Twilight cut herself off as I declared my charges and rolled. “—do exactly what your daughter is about to do.” A pad of paper swirled forth from the storm of books orbiting the Princess to fly over to Mom. “Go on. Take notes.”
“That’s suicide.” Calculated stared intently at the board as my commander charged one direction and my shadows charged the other.
“Never underestimate a small, concentrated strike force.” I had a straight shot to several groups of unicorns, and I took it. Even as the rest of my remaining forces attempted to deal with the wall of earth ponies and pegasi, I would strike at their heart.
Rip it.
Tear it.
Bleed it for every life the enemy had taken.
And if it cost me my life? So be it. If there was one thing Calculated would never understand, it was leading by example. He kept his warlord hidden, giving orders yet never taking charge. Perhaps having a bloodthirsty behemoth barreling down on him would teach the hosenscheißer a lesson.
Fangs flew and claws clashed as I tore my commander into a line of elite unicorn snipers. Their resolve was laughable in the face of my steel will, the panicked foals tripping over themselves as they routed beneath my might. One or two attempted a feeble buck; a third gored at me with their horn.
Their sacrifices were in vain now that the beast within had stirred.
Every one of them fell beneath me—especially those that ran. There was no place for such cowards. If they were unwilling to finish the fight they started, I would finish it for them.
My grim face scowled as I advanced from one group of unicorns to the next. I rolled into and over them like a boulder, consolidating to avoid leaving myself in the line of fire.
My shadows followed my examples, tearing apart one squad before charging right into the next. None of us fell, and that emboldened my other advancing troops. Four whole units taken care of in seconds. Two torn into a fine and delicious mist, and two buried beneath me and my shadows. The latter would be forced to run rather than shoot if they wanted to live.
I licked my chops as I stared at the board, heart pounding as my turn ended.
Somepony was clapping. The Princess?
“Well done, well done! I’m not sure your friend will be able to get out of that.” Bending her swagger stick with a giddy giggle, she cracked her tail like a whip as she leaned in. “Did you see that, Morning?”
“No, Princess, I was busy taking notes. Did Night turn things around?”
A second whipcrack had the Princess flicking Mom as punishment for her snarkiness and insubordination. “She may have. The dice gods certainly favored her that round.”
“RNGeneighsis certainly has her number.” Calculated was very carefully measuring distances, his feelings masked by his ever monotone voice as he squinted at the measuring tape.
“RN-who-now?” Both Mom and I blinked in bafflement.
“Geneighsis! He was a pegasus who—” The words died in Princess Twilight’s throat as Mom had the audacity to give her The Look. “I mean, it’s gamer lingo, don’t worry about it.”
As Mom and Princess Twilight kept going, Calculated muttered to himself as he danced about the table. “Mmm… depriving yourself of almost a whole unit to strike at me from within. I wasn’t expecting such recklessness.”
He had been forced to fall back and regroup, and every spell under the sun was being leveled at me as I stood exposed and alone, but I had accomplished my job. With any luck, I just might weather the onrushing salvo if my luck held out, but I didn’t hold my breath as Calculated started rolling.
The dice giveth, and the dice taketh away; it was one of Button Mash’s favorite sayings.
I was— My commander was incinerated in a blaze of solfire; her shadows fared little better. It took all of Calculated’s firepower to ensure their demise, but he was as infuriatingly mechanical as ever. Advancing his last few earth ponies forward, he stopped them just in front of me to slow my advance and buy his unicorns another turn to retreat and regroup.
There he went just tossing lives away again, and it was going to work, too. That was the worst part. Despite everything I managed, he was still going to win. I could see it all playing out before me.
Double checking the board twice, Calculated finally tapped it and sighed. “That’s my turn. You’re up.”
“You mean that’s game.” I shook my head as I toppled my remaining forces.
“Probably. But you never know. You could get lucky with your dice, and this battle ended much closer than our others.” He frowned at my toppled commander. “Not many people are willing to suicide their commander to get the upper hand. You caught me by surprise there. A less experienced player would have pulled back everything in a panic after that stunt, and you would have had them.”
“But not you.”
“No, not me.” Completely unfazed by my fang-filled glower, he started packing up. “Same time next week?”
Mom was there before I could even open my mouth. “She won’t be back at school next week either, but you’ll be allowed to face her here and at home all you want. After watching that, I can see just how educational it is for her.” She grinned. “Now, how about we go get some ice cream?”
“Oh! Ice cream? Lemme go grab Spike, and we can chat about the game! I was taking notes the whole time unlike somepony—” Princess Twilight paused to stick her tongue out at Mom. “—and I had a few points I wanted to bring up. You don’t mind, do you?”
“I… errr… uh…” How did one refuse royalty?
“Of course you’re welcome, Princess.” Mom didn’t even bat an eye as she took one for the team. “I’d love a few lessons on how the game works. You can lecture me all you like.”
The magic words had been uttered. The die had been cast, and Twilight’s eyes gleamed as she turned to mom. Several more rulebooks popped into existence as she opened her mouth, and Mom was lost to the book-nado.
I moaned and groaned as the reveille blared through my moon-blessed dreams. Rolling over, my gaze bore into the darkening cloud clock as every beep charged it with more lightning. It sat there and ignored my well-earned ire—uncaring of the fact it had disturbed a Diamond-studded dream.
Still, it was time to get going, and so I hit the alarm and rolled to my hooves. I stepped gingerly down the hall as everypony else should have still been asleep. I had half an hour to complete today’s little stealth mission, and I was going to make sure I did it right this time.
Butter, eggs, cheese, mushrooms, and a sprinkling of ladybugs were all I needed for today’s attempt, so I grabbed them from the fridge. The skillet was next, and I cringed as I opened the cupboard to fetch it. It was always a fifty-fifty on whether or not just opening the cupboard would unleash a clanging cacophony. I had yet to find a method of putting the pans back that worked one-hundred percent of the time, and I doubted I would anytime soon.
The Nightmother watched over me in the last bit of starlight before dawn, however, and there wasn’t even a rustle as I freed a small skillet from the top of the pile of metal. Bucking the stove on so it gently crackled with lightning, I set the pan down and put some butter in. My ears flicked as the crackle of it melting and bubbling was the only sound in the air, but they slowly relaxed as I lost myself in cooking the mushrooms and ladybugs.
That was the easy part. Once done and off to the side, I took a deep breath to ready myself as I solemnly lifted the first egg.
Crack!
I whispered thanks to the Nightmother as I managed to avoid getting shell in the bowl before me, and prayed that the rest would follow suit. Ever since I got suspended, Dad had been making me make breakfast. Eggs had been the bane of my mornings the past few weeks; I was out of practice and they just kept breaking on me, but I was sure to prevail today. I just had to. I was so sick of making hash, and every time I made pancakes I had to jog an extra lap around town.
I really needed something meaty, damn it.
The second egg plopped in with no problem, and I narrowly avoided catastrophe with the third by having my shadow lash out and snatch a piece of wayward shell as it fell. The air felt thick as I beat the eggs together, and I shivered at the sizzle as I poured the mix into the pan.
Okay, the hard part was over. Now just let it cook, put the filling in, flip it over, and done!
One, two, three. It really was done just like that, though I gulped loudly as I slid my breakfast on a plate and stared at it. Sweat beaded my brow as I leaned in to take a bite, and I chewed slowly to make sure I didn’t rush my verdict.
It was… passable. There was still something off, but I could give this to Dad and ask where to go from here.
Wolfing the rest down, I quickly started on more mushrooms and ladybugs for Mom and Dad. The twins always slept in, so I could wait on theirs, while Aunt Mercy was ever the wild card. The cooking went quicker this time, or at least, it felt like it did, and there were soon two omelets set and waiting on the table.
No Mom and Dad, though… Strange. I’d timed everything perfectly.
Creeping through the house until I was before their door, I gently knocked. “Mom? Dad?” There was no response, and I fiddled from hoof to hoof before finally deciding to poke my head in.
Dad raised his head to grin at me as I opened my mouth. Putting a hoof to his lips, he signaled for quiet as I watched him, Mom, Aunt Mercy, and Pushing all curled up and cuddling in a pony pile. He and Mom were the base. Each was wrapped around my Aunt—sandwiching her, even—with little Pushing resting atop them all.
Gulping hard at the sight, I pointed first at him, then Mom, and mimed gobbling up some grub, complete with licking my fangs clean. His grin grew at the sight and he nodded, bumping snoots with Mom to wake her. With a kiss, he dragged her into his shadow and slipped out of mine on the other side of the door, his movements so smooth that the still-sleeping Aunt Mercy barely stirred as she curled around her little bundle of chaos.
As I closed the door to leave them in the Dreamlands, Dad chuckled and patted my back. “Morning, sport. Thanks for making breakfast again.”
We made our way down the hall with both Mom and Dad sleepily wobbling. Mom murmured something that sounded vaguely like a good morning, but she was so tired that she was leaning against Dad as we walked.
“Late night again?” I pulled out chairs for both of them, and helped settle Mom down in her seat. She stared at her omelet, blinking woozily until I poured her a cup of coffee.
“Aye.” Dad shook his head as he sagged down in his own seat. “It’s a lot of extra work to cover for your Mom, and it’s just gonna keep piling up until we get her back.”
“I’m sorry.” My ears splayed back as I looked away.
“Not your fault, champ. She’s the one who chose to take a month off for you.” Leaning over, he poked Mom in the side. “Isn’t that right, dear?”
“Mrgmrff…” Mom grunted as she sipped at her coffee.
“She’s also the one that insists on staying up for me, even though I’ve told her a good night’s sleep is more important.” Dad poked her again and his grin only grew as Mom sluggishly swatted at him with a wing. “I’ve had double shifts the past three days with how bad it is.”
“Mercy wanted to do it, too.” Taking a very small bite of her omelet, Mom’s murmur was slurred with sleep.
“And? I bet Mercy was fast asleep long before I got home last night.” Dad had more gusto than Mom as he ate, but far less than he usually had. “You need to take a day off and sleep. You’ll be no good to Night if you’re falling asleep while teaching her.”
“I’m sure everything will be fine. Mom knows her limits.” Shaking my head, I ignored a long, drawn out yawn from Mom.
Dad was not convinced, however. “You can always let Mercy teach Night for the day, can’t you?”
Woah, woah, woah. Say what now? Aunt Mercy? Teach me? She wasn’t exactly the brightest star in the sky.
Mom mustered the will to glower at Dad for even suggesting it, but he was unflappable as he sat there—grinning and waiting. She lost that contest as she gave another jaw-cracking yawn that made Dad lean in for a nuzzle and kiss.
“Fine.” She looked down as she pulled back from the kiss. “I’ll try and catch up on sleep, but only a few hours at most!” Looking back up with a frown, it was her turn to lean in for a kiss. “You can try to hide it, but you’re nearing your limits, too. You’re right. Mercy can handle teaching Night for just one day; I’m going to head in and get my half of the job done for both our sakes.”
“But Mom!” My ears splayed back as my doom was announced. “I have a math test in two days! You can’t think Aunt Mercy will be able to help me with that!”
“No, I don’t.” Mom smiled. “I’m sure she’ll want to focus on your physical training. Don’t worry, though. I can push your test a day or two back for this. Your father is right, after all. If I don’t get my rest, I won’t be able to teach you any better than your Aunt would.”
“Mrgmrff… fine.” With a sigh, I relented. “But just one day! Even if she’s gonna teach me Guard stuff, I doubt she’s half the teacher you are!”
“Wanna bet?” Aunt Mercy strolled into the dining room with the most guano-guzzling grin. If it weren’t for the fact she had Pushing wrapped around her neck, I would have called her smile predatory. “I can teach you all kinds of stuff your mom would never dare to—dark and secret things that would corrupt your innocent little soul.”
“Eww… Aunt Mercy, be serious! This is why you could never be a better teacher than Mom!”
“I was being serious.” My aunt tittered as she settled in her seat with Pushing looking between us all in her lap. “Nothing more satisfying than turning the sturdiest soldier as limp and impotent as a wet noodle. You don’t exactly have the speed and dexterity to use my knowledge on pressure points in actual combat, but does that really matter when you’d still be getting all the other benefits? Once I teach you the basics, I can just toss you at your fillyfriend to let you work out the rest.”
Mom tsked. “For the love of Celestia, she doesn’t need lessons like that, Mercy. Pick something she can actually use in the Guard.”
“Yeah, I don’t want any lessons like that.” My scowl was dark enough to hide my heated blush.
Sticking her tongue out, my aunt was far from fazed by me. “Spoilsports.”
“Yeah, well… come up with something better, okay?” I grunted and rose to make my way towards the kitchen. “I’ll be back with your breakfast in a bit.”
“So, then, you plan on focusing on shadow sparring and nothing else?” Mom squinted at Aunt Mercy and arched her brow as she stepped outside to see us off. “No pressure points? No hypnosis? And definitely no poisons?”
“Sure, shoot down all the fun options.” Aunt Mercy bared her fangs in a grin. “You know, I have a lot worse I could be teaching her. You oughta lighten up! I didn’t even bring up all the dark and forbidden secret techniques Daddy-Dead-To-Me forced me to learn. I could have dragged her out to the Everfree Forest and taught her how to buck somepony so hard that their soul gets punted right out of their body!”
“That… sounds eerily close to necromancy.” I frowned at my Aunt.
“It is!” She slapped me on the back. “I mean, come on, Night. Don’t tell me you fell for all those doom and gloom tales daydwellers tell about necromancers? That’s all a bunch of guano they spread after some unicorns got a bit too uppity for their own good. Real necromancy is completely different from raising the dead.”
My frown deepened. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
“And you’ll never find out, because I’m a responsible Aunt who would certainly never teach anything your mother doesn’t approve of, right?” Aunt Mercy leaned in towards Mom and wiggled her eyebrows. “Right?”
Mom sighed and shook her head. “Alright, I get it. Teaching her all about poisons is holding back, but you still aren’t allowed to do it unless Tempered is there to back you up.”
“Fine. I’ll just do poisons next time, then. Besides, shadow sparring can be just as fun.”
Mom’s ear flicked, and she suddenly shivered, tail flicking uncontrollably. “Gah, Mercy! Stop that!”
“Stop what?” Her wide, innocent eyes blinked up at Mom with fake hurt.
“You know what.” Mom brought a hoof to her temple and rubbed. “Ugh… I really want to say no now, but at least lessons like that will be relatively tame.” She looked to me. “If your Aunt does anything too weird, you have permission to punch her and come back here.”
“Your vote of confidence is appreciated.” My aunt rolled her eyes, and Mom shivered again before glaring at Aunt Mercy and thwapping her with a wing.
I looked between the two as Aunt Mercy returned Mom’s scowl with a smug grin. “Can I just head inside now? No punching needed?”
“No, Night. Hear her out first, then decide. This will be a useful lesson if you can manage to learn it.”
“You’re saying I might not be able to?”
“No, I’m saying you might not want to— Argh! Damn it, Mercy! Stop being a bitch!” Mom’s tail cracked like a whip as her head suddenly flinched to the side. She froze as her words caught up with her, and then she promptly turned to head back inside. “I’m going to go shower and sleep now. I’m only giving your aunt ammunition by staying out here.”
I barely heard her as she turned to walk back inside, instead staring at Aunt Mercy with my mouth agape. “You just got Mom to swear.”
“Yes. Yes, I did.” She was the smuggest of slugs as she smirked at me.
“How?!”
“Well, you see, when two mares love each other very much, they—”
“You know what I mean!” I rushed forward to put a hoof over her mouth. “Don’t gimme that load of guano. You weren’t anywhere near—”
There was suddenly the feel of fangs squeezing my throat and I froze, not even daring to breathe. They were small, sharp, and felt very real despite the fact my hoof was still silencing Aunt Mercy as she did her best five year old impression by sticking her tongue out and licking my hoof just like the twerps did.
We stared at each other for a moment, and when I released her mouth, the fangs released their grip. As she grinned at me like a loon under moon, her voice trickled in my ear without her even moving her lips.
“If you thought your shadow needed to rise out of the ground to mess with ponies, you were sorely mistaken, young grasshopper.”
I could literally feel her breath on my ear, and looking down, her shadow appeared to be flying inches above my own as it leaned down to whisper. It patted my head, and I could feel her hoof running through my mane.
“How?” I was quieter when asking this time. “I have tried punching ponies like that before. I used to do it when sparring in the Junior Guard to practice for when I finally figured out how to drag my shadow out of the ground. Shadow boxing just doesn’t work like that.”
“Mmmm… well… remember how I said real necromancy was more than raising the dead?”
“You’re kidding.”
“No, no, no, no, no! Scout’s honor!” She raised her hoof as if taking an oath.
“You were never in Scouts.”
“Hey! I could have been!” She and her shadow both slapped me on the back. “And I’m not lying, either! On a real technical level, all shadowmancy is necromancy! I’m just telling it like it is! If the eyes are a window to the soul, then the shadow is like the spooky basement door at the back of the house! When you push your shadow out of the ground, you are literally using your own soul to animate it, so what else are you supposed to call it?”
I could smell the smoke coming out of my ears as I sat there and thought about it. “Nightmother protect me, is that really what I do every time I pop my shadow out of the ground?”
“You bet, pipsqueak! With enough practice, you can do some really nasty stuff with your shadow. You can suck the life right out of ponies—strengthen yourself by leeching off their own soul. You can turn your shadow into a wight or wraith or even a banshee!”
Why was Aunt Mercy dancing on her tippy-hooves and giggling like a school filly?
“Oh, can you just imagine wiping out a whole squad with a banshee scream? Of course, it’s hard to do that without knocking yourself out, so I’ve never tried it, but—“ With a sudden cough into her hoof, Aunt Mercy’s manic grin turned into a scowl. “—but I am a responsible Aunt who won’t be teaching you things your mother doesn’t approve of. We aren’t gonna touch any of that. We’re just gonna be focusing on how to channel your soul just an itty bit more efficiently so your shadow doesn’t have to rise from the ground to interact with others. Understood?”
“Yes.” I nodded slowly, but firmly before turning to walk back inside.
“Wait, wait, wait! Your mom doesn’t know about—”
“Mom! Aunt Mercy is being weird!”
“I can’t believe Mom is cool with you teaching me necromancy.” Sulking in a booth in Sugarcube Corner, I was stuck across from Aunt Mercy as she went to town on a mango caterpillar smoothie. “You aren’t going to be teaching me here, are you? In front of everypony?”
With an obnoxiously loud and long series of slurps, Aunt Mercy stalled as her tongue slithered into the cup to get the last of her smoothie. “Mmmm… mango.” Her eyes went glassy as she briefly stared into the distance and licked her lips, and her gaze only returned to me when I gave a good, firm cough.
“Oh relax, Pipsqueak. It’s only necromancy on a technical level, and your Mom said no to all the spooky stuff like I knew she would. I am teaching you how to use your shadow better—nothing more and nothing less. If I had known you were gonna raise so much of a goody-two-shoes stink about it, I would have never even told you.”
“Okay, fine, whatever. Still haven’t told me why we’re here.”
Aunt Mercy grinned like a loon under moon. “We’re waiting on a third, of course. Sent my shadow off to deliver a message while you weren’t looking. Training will be taking place here, despite what you may think. Today is all about learning how to have a subtle touch, after all. It’s gonna take a long time for you to get good enough to have your shadow punch somepony without dragging it out of the ground first. We’re starting much smaller than that, so small that nopony will notice if you play your cards right.”
“Sooo… it’s a double session then?” I arched my brow at her. “Both stealth and shadow training?”
“Sure! Let’s go with that!” Throwing back her head to cackle, my Aunt signaled the Pink Demon for another smoothie. “It’s totally not because your Mom cheated me out of that movie.”
“Say what?” Before I could even stop to process what the actual buck she meant by that, her shadow came streaking and through the door. As it reached us, Aunt Mercy dove right in, popping up two tables away to wave at me.
I started to get up to follow, then froze as Diamond walked through the door. She locked eyes with me, smiled daintily, and sashayed her way over to take Aunt Mercy’s seat.
“My, my, playing hooky just for me, Night? Your Aunt is such a bad influence on you.” She fluttered her lashes at me, and my heart nearly stopped. “You’re lucky that proper ladies don’t kiss and tell.”
“That’s your cue to kiss her.”
I nearly jumped as Aunt Mercy’s shadow whispered in my ear.
“No letting on that school is still in session for you either, pipsqueak, or you’ll get a big, fat F for the day. Subtlety is the name of the game, so give that filly some lip before you make her suspicious!”
Dear, sweet Nightmother above, the only thing stopping me from stomping over to my Aunt to pick a fight right now was the fact that Diamond was leaning forward with her lips parted in the perfect, little pout. My heart pounded at the sight, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips hungrily.
Once a week was what Mom had said.
Once. A. Wee—
Lesser mares and stallions had caved for less. How could I say no to my princess after so many eons apart? My mind might say neigh, but my heart? My heart screamed, ‘YAY, VERILY!’ in the Royal Canterlot Voice as I leaned in. What I meant to be a chaste peck quickly devolved until I was forced to pull back with an audible, lip-smacking pop.
Once a week was not enough. Buck, buck, buck, buck, buck!
The second kiss took about as long as the first, and that finally was enough to temporarily sate the beast. I smiled at Diamond and ran a hoof through my mane as she took out a mirror to get her mussed mane back in place as best she could.
“Now that was a bribe.” She giggled. “I accept your payment in full. There will be no snitching from me.”
“Complimentary nachos!” The Pink One dropped a basket of chips dripping with cheese, rainbows, and tarantula legs on the table before us. “A little alligator told me things were about to get spicy! Gimme a few minutes and I’ll be back with the milkshakes!”
Diamond looked down at the nachos as I warily glanced at the snoozing pile of scales large enough to give Dad a run for his money.
“Little… yeah…”
Pinkie smiled in blissful ignorance as she retreated. Did she not realize what was going on? Or was I playing into the demon’s hooves just as I was playing into Aunt Mercy’s?
The Pink One probably thought this was just good fun, after all. She needed no rules.
“Err… Equus to Night? Are you brooding about Pinkie for no good reason again? She’s not gonna tell your parents. She enjoys seeing ponies smile too much.”
“I’m not smiling.”
“Keep lying to yourself all you want. I know that stoney scowl enough to tell you’re smiling on the inside.”
“Absolutely wonderful.” It took every bone in my body to only flinch as Aunt Mercy’s shadow ruffled my mane, and I shook my head with a snort to hide it from Diamond. “No wonder Tempered calls you two adorable. You’re sickeningly sweet.”
“Hey!” I pouted and Diamond thankfully giggled thinking I’d been responding to her teasing.
“It’s true.” Aunt Mercy’s shadow whispered in my ear with a breathy chuckle. “But let’s begin, shall we? Start by having your shadow play hoovesies with hers, will you? I need to see how you animate your shadow before I can actually teach you.”
I would have turned to glare at Aunt Mercy if I wasn’t so busy watching Diamond and giving her her proper due as she told me all about how her week had been going. I only had the one ear paying attention to my Aunt, and I wouldn’t even give her that right now if I could avoid it.
Hoovesies? Really? She could have done this any other way, but she chose hoovesies? Diamond and I weren’t some side show for her to ogle!
Still… as crazy as this was, she was trying to teach me a lesson, so I had my shadow run a hind hoof up to try and play with Diamond’s hooves—or at least I fumbled about trying to. I couldn’t see under the table, and as good as my ears were I didn’t think all the training in the world would let me bounce a click off a shadow.
I could ‘sense’ that Diamond’s shadow was down there, but so was the table’s and the booth’s. I didn’t even bother to try to count how many little shadows there were for all the blasted gum fillies and colts insisted on sticking in places it should not go. I had been down that path before and that way lied madness.
“Wow! You are bad at this, aren’t you?! Or do you want to just go for the throat and splunk the most forbidden of caves?” Aunt Mercy gleefully screeped and tittered at her table, unable to be quiet but thankfully embarrassing me in frequencies only other thestrals could hear as she laughed. “Why in the name of Celestia’s cursed creamy teats are you fumbling like a blind foal? Your Dad taught you how to feel with your shadow, yeah?”
Aunt Mercy was behind Diamond, so my marefriend saw and heard nothing but my muttered curse as my cheeks suddenly burned a deep, dark black, but she had passed my Aunt on the way in and knew enough to take my hoof and smile. “Hey… at least she’s letting us see each other.”
“Yeah, but she’s being an arschgeige about it.” I huffed and blew upwards as I sank my head on the table.
“Me?!” Aunt Mercy was now slumped in her booth and giving strangled squeaky laughs as she clutched her side. “You were the one about to fiddle until the fat bat sang! You should be thanking me for just laughing! Imagine if I’d said nothing and just kept the lesson going! Screeheeheeheehee!”
Oh sweet Nightmother above, why did she go and say that?!
All my remaining composure crumbled as I turned away from Diamond and pulled back my hoof.
“Oi!” And the laughter stopped as Aunt Mercy immediately scowled and her shadow hissed in my ear. ”I am not your Mom and Dad, young lady. Don’t pull the pure and innocent guano with me. You aren’t five, so you look that filly of yours in the eyes. You know I’ve done worse, and I will not have you feeling shame around me unless you're willing to accept me as mumsy dearest. Understood?”
A hoof that was not there wrenched my head up before chopping into my back to straighten my spine. Poor Diamond had a fractured and brittle smile. I didn’t have the heart to look away again and make it worse.
No… I couldn’t look away, but I could drag my shadow out of the ground and have it stomp on over to my Aunt.
“With all due respect—” My shadow and I both growled. “—I know you just love sticking your snout where it doesn’t belong, but this is my life and I’m more than mature enough to see Diamond on my own. You’re dismissed.”
“Oh, really?” Aunt Mercy cackled. “Big talk for a mare who was just curled up like a twelve year old caught sniffing for cooties.”
“Leave.” I had my shadow rest a hoof on her shoulder.
Aunt Mercy blinked for a few moments, realized I was serious, and frowned once more. “Look, Night. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but school is in session, and I’m the only reason Diamond is here. Don’t act like this is an actual date.”
“And don’t act like you’re an actual teacher.” I huffed and wrapped my tail up with Diamond's beneath the table. “And this is a date.”
“It most certainly is not,” Mercy started, ignoring my jab. “Morning would kill me if I let you have a real date. This is…” She tried throwing another flashy grin in an attempt to crack my stoney scowl. “…an intimate get-together!”
“Cadance party! Cadance party!” A party cannon fired from back in the kitchen and the Pink One’s screams were made manifest.
“Do you mind!” Aunt Mercy violently shook her hoof at the door before turning back with a sickeningly sweet smile. “It’s just a few mares all happening to be in the same building. That two of said mares happen to be fillyfriends is completely coincidental as far anypony watching can prove.”
“No pony is gonna buy that guano. You gave me a date, so leave and let me enjoy it. It’s not fair to Diamond if I’m curled up and crying because of you.”
“Oh, come on!” Aunt Mercy screeped as my shadow picked her up. “This isn’t fair, pipsqueak! What was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to not have fun and tease you? You know who I am! I’m sorry if I hurt and embarrassed you, but seriously?! What the buck?! Don’t make me the bad gu—”
Tossing her out of Sugarcube Corner may have felt really good, but it wasn’t really the best solution when my Aunt’s shadow was still right here. It was a matter of seconds until Aunt Mercy poked her head out of it, glaring at me.
“Little, bucking, hypocrite. Fine, then! Enjoy your damn date without me! I know when I’m not wanted! I just want you to think about one last thing before I go, though—one teeny-tiny, eeny-weeny, little thing to consider. You only ever turn into a squeamish, little crybaby like that around your parents, but—newsflash—you keep saying you don’t want me to be one!”
My shadow tried to push her head back down, but that only served to agitate the problem further. Next she poked her head out of Diamond’s shadow, making my marefriend tumble to the side with a yelp.
“I. Wasn’t. Done.” She hissed, eyes flashing at me. “Should I just walk back in? Or will you let me finish? Because I can take you tossing me out of here all day. Buck, I’m used to my family doing that by now! You know what really, bucking burns me, though… You just won’t give me a chance! In fact, you refuse to give me a chance like your parents are!”
Wait, what? Did her voice just crack?
“And that’s fine! That’s whatever! You’re only getting in the way of me living with the only ponies besides Checkmate who ever actually accepted me for who I am! Really, it’s not that big a deal! If I’m meant to just be your Aunt, then fine! I get that you come first to them, and that’s always how it’s been and how it should be! The last thing I want is for you to end up as trash like me!” With a gulp, Aunt Mercy looked down and away, biting her lip hard enough that I saw little iron colored drops trickle down her jaw. “But I… I just can’t stand that out of all the ways for you to treat me like your Mom and Dad, you chose the literal worst way to do it. You don’t want another Mom, but now I can’t even be your crazy, fun-loving Aunt anymore?! What’s the point of me even trying if I can’t win!”
Her ears splayed down and her snarl faded. Her face was tired and creased as she looked down into the shadows. “Maybe it’s better for everypony if I just leave.”
She was gone before I could open my mouth, and I was left to ponder everything she said as Diamond scooted out from the other side and into the booth beside me. There were no nuzzles or cuddles as she gently wrapped her hooves around me; she simply held me even as the kitchen door burst open.
“Milkshakes are ready! I have all of your favorites, and— Wait a minute! Gummy, you bad, bad alligator! You didn’t tell me things were gonna get that kinda spicy! Just look at those faces! Those aren’t faces in need of a milkshake! Don’t you worry, girls! I’ll just tap into Rarity’s emergency stash of drama lama ice cream, and—”
“Don’t.” My voice was a hoarse whisper as I finally moved to wipe my eyes. I couldn’t remember them getting damp. “It’s… not fine, but I have what I need right here.” I curled a wing around Diamond and squeezed. “Take it to Rarity’s.”
“Rarity’s?” Pinkie blinked. “But… why?”
“Because if my Aunt doesn’t come home, there’s only two places she’d go.” I took a deep breath. “And something tells me she’s not in the mood for partying at the bar. If… if she’s not at Rarity’s, then go get my Mom and Dad, and tell them to make a search party.”
“Oh…” Pinkie’s hair deflated noisily on hearing me. Good to know she was taking me seriously, and yet infuriating all the same. “Okie-doki-loki. Mrs. Cake! Can you get the counter?! Some super serious element stuff came up!” The Pink One left, and so I huddled with Diamond in the booth.
“Diamond?” I shivered and leaned into my marefriend.
“Yeah?” Her hoof rubbed me gently in the back as I squeezed her closer with my wing.
“Is it… wrong for me to be scared right now? I stood up to her for you—for us—but it just—”
“Shush…” Her hoof was gentle but firm on my snoot. “Night, you’re thinking about it wrong. She never asked for an apology.”
“What?”
“She messed up. She knows that. She doesn’t want you to feel bad or apologize.”
“Then why did she—”
The hoof returned to my snoot and this time it stayed as Diamond looked into my eyes. “The only reason I’m here right now is because the Crusaders gave me a chance to be somepony I had never been before. They didn’t have to be my friends after helping me figure out my mark. They had no reason to with all our history. They probably shouldn’t have, in all honesty, but they did.”
It was Diamond’s turn to shiver. “It is… terrifying… to try and change for the better. You question everything you know about yourself; you wonder how much you need to throw away, and if anything worthwhile is going to be left. I never told the others, but… those first few weeks, I really considered asking Daddy to move. I wanted to transfer and just have a fresh start, and if I had, then I never would have met you. In a way, I’ve been through what your Aunt is going through, Night.”
The kiss was small and chaste as Diamond kissed me. “She doesn’t want an apology. She just wants to feel like you’re giving her an actual chance.”
“B-but I am!”
“Are you?” Diamond’s smile was somber as she rested her head on my shoulder, but I caught just a glimpse of her eyes to see the tiniest spark of mischief. “Because I can tell you that I’ve been exchanging letters with Fang and Echo, and the three of us all agree that I’m somehow more comfortable with the fact that thestrals herd than you are.”
Lost in the warm, comforting shadows of home, I brooded. I had the house to myself, and had claimed the couch as I waited for word of Aunt Mercy. None had come; I had waited for over an hour before I stopped keeping track and just curled up.
I didn’t dare look up from my spot on the couch as the door opened. My ears swiveled around, and I bounced a click off the wall. Most of it was absorbed by the cloud, but an echo of an echo was all I needed to tell that it wasn’t Aunt Mercy slipping in.
“Hey, sport.” Dad’s hooves made no noise as he approached. “Pinkie said you had one doozy of an argument with your Aunt.”
“That’s one way of putting it,” I muttered into the clouds. “Did you find her? Is she alright?”
“She’s at Rarity’s. Your mom and I already checked in on her. Morning’s still there, but I wanted to check in on you.” His hoof rested itself on my back, rubbing in slow, methodic circles.
“Mmmrgff!” I couldn’t help burying my head further in the couch and punching it hard enough for the house to rumble with lightning. All my anger rushed out of me, though, no matter how hard I tried to cling to it, and my ears flattened against my skull as I pulled my head up to look at Dad. “Of course, she is…. How is Mom able to do it, Dad?”
“Do what, Night?”
“How is she able to put up with Aunt Mercy trying to steal you?! I’m trying to give her a chance, but every time I see her getting chummy with Mom now, I’m afraid Mom is gonna say yes. The dates, the showers, the cuddling…” I trail off, shivering. “I try not to even think about what else you guys could be doing.”
“Awww, what’s the matter? Don’t want any more brothers and sisters?” Dad’s cocky grin quickly fell as I thwapped him with a wing. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. Would be nice if you could laugh it off, though, right?”
“Is that what you and Mom are doing—just laughing it off like there isn’t a problem?”
“No, Night.” He settled on the couch beside me, sighing. “We’re well aware of the problem. Kicking your Aunt while she’s down won’t solve it, though. You know that.”
“So you’re saying I’m the problem, then?”
Dad was quiet for a moment, and my heart pounded in terror over the fact he didn’t instantly say no.
“No…. I’m saying that your Mom and I can only do so much right now. The problem is bigger than you realize—much bigger—and your Mom and I are doing our best to enjoy what we can while we can. Your Aunt may be crazy, but she makes us smile. She used to make you smile, too. Is it really worth getting so hung up on what might end up happening?”
His last few words seared my ears like they were solfire. The way he said ‘might’ burned with the horrible, awful truth; Mom and him were actually considering it now.
Things were serious.
Everything I knew was collapsing around me and Dad was sitting here just telling me not to worry about it.
“What…” I needed to focus on something, fight through the pain. “What do you mean the problem is bigger?”
Dad slouched further into the couch. “Your Aunt didn’t tell us everything when she first showed up. Your Mom and I only found out recently just how deep the rabbit hole goes.”
“And you didn’t tell me?” My wings rustled and my coat bristled. A growl rumbled in my chest, doing its best to claw out and become a roar.
“It was right after your fight with Crusty, Night. You already had so much on your plate…. Your mother and I didn’t want to add to it.”
I bared my fangs and snarled. “I’m eighteen, Dad! I’m an adult! That’s more than can be said about Aunt Mercy half of the time! You think this is any better?! I’ve been sitting here thinking that I chased her off! That she ran away because of me! And I feel awful about it! If there’s something I don’t know, then by the fucking Nightmother, please tell me about it!”
Closing his eyes, Dad looked down and away. “No. If anypony tells you, it’s going to be your aunt, and I don’t know if she’s ready for that. Please, Night. I need you to trust me on this. It’s in your best interest to let it go for now. You can’t carry the world on your shoulders.”
“I have a right to know. This is my house too, you know!” At some point—I didn’t know when—I’d gotten to my hooves. My wings were flared, my teeth were gnashed.
Dad just stayed slumped on the couch looking old and tired.
He was working his butt off because Mom was stuck with me. My stupid fight had lumped so much extra stress on him, and he dared pull the ‘it’s for your own good card’ now of all times?
“Are you saying your brothers have a right to know too, then? Do you really think your mom and I should suck a bit of their fun and innocence away just because they live here?” Dad was quiet, but his words made my mouth click shut for a moment.
“That’s different. They’re just foals, Dad.”
“Aye, and you’re barely an adult.”
“I’m mature for my age! You and Mom always go on and on about that!”
“No pony should ever be ‘mature’ enough for this, Night. I know I wasn’t.” Dad finally opened his eyes and I took a step back at how much raw, unbridled fury smoldered in them. “Night, there’s a verdammt scheißkerl who hurt your Aunt so bad that every night and day I have to fight the urge to fly out and gut him.”
Reaching out, he rested his hoof on my nose, and the embers of hate buried themselves as he smiled at me. “Your mom and aunt keep me grounded; your brothers keep me grounded; you keep me grounded.”
Slumping to my haunches, I stared at him, not knowing what to say.
His smile turned into a chuckle as his hoof moved from my snoot to ruffle my mane. “Maybe you’re right, and your Mom and I are laughing the problem off—pretending it doesn’t exist—but the problem isn’t your Aunt, and it isn’t you. If you don’t believe me, you should go talk to her. ”
“Would she even want to?” My ears folded back, as I looked down and away.
“Are you kidding, sport? She’s just itching to apologize. She said the exact same thing when I said she should apologize to you.”
“She… did?” I looked up, eyes wide.
Throwing back his head to laugh, Dad nodded. “Her exact words were, ‘No! I’m a bucking piece of shit, and anything I say is just gonna make things worse!’ but I think you can read between the lines.”
“Dad… are you sure you can’t tell me what’s wrong? She shouldn’t be…” I fumbled for the words and just couldn’t find them.
“No, she shouldn’t, but that’s why I need you to be strong for her.” Sweeping me into a hug, Dad squeezed me tight. “I’m sorry to ask that; it isn’t fair I ask you to muscle through your problems like they’re not important.”
“I’m the one who asked for it.” Managing a smile somehow, I squeezed back. “I’m still mad you won’t tell me what’s going on, but knowing you trust me to soldier on better than her is a close second.”
“Ha! That’s my girl. You're good to go have a chat with your Aunt, then?”
“Only if you’ve got my back.”
“I always got your back, sport. You know that.”
Dad and I landed in front of Carousel Boutique with a thud that shook the earth. The streets immediately around Rarity’s bustled as busily as ever, yet it was impossible to ignore the occasional glance and frown. Ponies could ignore a monster attack like it was just another Tuesday by now, but it wasn’t just some random monster that was wailing like a banshee inside of the boutique.
“Get off of me, Morning! You can’t stop me from leaving! I’ll bite you! I really mean it! Quit hugging me! Damn it!” There were several loud cracks, a few thuds, the scrabbling of hooves at the door, and a much more muffled fwump of something hard landing on something soft.
“Ah, horseapples.” Shaking his head, Dad rustled his wings, and moved to push his way into the boutique. The door screamed like it was in its death throes as it opened, the hinges were bent, and the inside had deep scratches that could only have come from fangs. “Are you alive in here, Rarity?!”
“Call Fluttershy, darling. I’m pretty sure rabid beasts are her specialty, not mine.” Rarity moaned from where she lay on her back, hoof draped over her eyes. Her fainting couch was probably the one piece of furniture that wasn’t broken. “I think a piece of me died when she tore that newest dress to shreds, though.”
Aunt Mercy was trapped in Mom’s grip and getting hugged to death on top of a pile of cloth. Her ears twitched at Rarity’s words, and she gave a raspy laugh. “Bitch, you think I deserve anything that pretty?!” Her voice was a little hoarse and tear stains darkened her cheeks. She squirmed around until she was able to glare at Rarity, but the glare quickly melted as she saw both me and Dad.
She buried her face in the fabric to blow her nose, and refused to look up when she was done. “Just let me go, Morning…. Please…. I shouldn’t be here.”
Cartons of sea salt ice cream littered the floor alongside bottles of wine, bourbon, and whiskey. More than a few were scattered as Dad muscled Rarity’s couch into another room. I followed, unable to look at my Aunt as she curled up in Mom’s grip.
“What happened?” Dad leaned down to whisper in Rarity’s ear.
“I don’t know, darling.” Rarity lit her horn, and without even looking, she pulled another carton of ice cream from somewhere. “Things were going swimmingly. We had her calmed down, and I was just finishing up the dress. Morning even complimented her on it! For a moment, I thought they were going to kiss! Next thing I know, she’s back to swearing at herself and trying to run away. If I hadn’t started throwing furniture in front of all the exits, she might have!”
I glanced back over my shoulder at the entrance to the other room. “Don’t you collect priceless antiques?”
“I did.” Rarity jammed a used spoon into the ice cream to take a large and unladylike bite. “I imagine I’ll need to stick to replicas after today. It’s somehow worse than when Soarin turned down Rainbow Dash, Captain.”
Dad arched his eyebrow at Rarity and chuckled. “If I remember correctly, you saw that disaster more than a mile away, though. You had plenty of time to get all your stuff in the basement before the tornado hit ground zero.”
“I did tell Rainbow it would never work out for her.” Rarity sniffled, her eyes twinkling with tears but never actually crying. “Though, I suppose I was wrong about why.” Shaking her head, her mane fell back to cover her face once more. “And now I was wrong again! I was so sure it would work out with you three! This is just the worst possible thing! I was already drawing up plans for the wedding dresses!”
“Don’t count us out just yet.” Dad’s words stabbed me like a knife. “That said, I think I know what’s going on, now. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for all the damages myself.”
“Oh no you don’t!” Rarity huffed and sat up, the fire in her eyes evaporating all traces of tears. “I am more than equipped to pay for all the same antiques and more if I wanted. Money is not the issue, and the only pony I will allow that sort of talk from is Mercy herself.”
“Oh? Are you going to make her pay you back in modeled dresses?”
“Of course, I am! Who do you take me for?” Booping dad with the empty ice cream cartridge, she replaced it with a glass of wine. “That’s only if she insists, though, so no mentioning it!”
“Darn.” Dad somehow managed to grin like a guano-guzzler even now. “There go all my schemes to have my own personal fashion show.”
Son of a sun witch!
“Dad, can you please stop joking?” My tail lashed and my wings rustled as he turned to look at me. “What’s wrong with Aunt Mercy and how do we help?”
Dad ruffled my mane before starting to push me towards ground zero. “Go have your talk with her, and you’ll find out.”
“What? No fair! Tell me what’s wrong first!” I locked up and tried to stop him, but my hooves still skidded over the floor.
“Gotta scout things out if you want to win the war, soldier.” With another good shove, we were both through the door. “Hey, Mercy! You promise not to run if Morning lets you out of that choke hold?”
“Just go away….” Aunt Mercy already looked impossibly small as she was. Curled up under Mom’s wing, it looked like a single ray of sunlight might make her just evaporate. When Dad nudged me forward, she squirmed and tried to shrink even more. She inched down into her shadow, and Mom squeezed her wing tighter to stop a full retreat.
Opening my mouth to say something, I only let the silence hang. Dad nudged me again and waved me forward, so I looked to Mom for help. She was too busy to help me, stroking Aunt Mercy with her wing and whispering the same sorts of words she usually gave me.
I could feel my soul leaving me as I watched. I was nothing but a crumbling cavern—hollow inside, and only growing emptier as the walls fell away.
It was Aunt Mercy who made the first move, looking up to first glare at Mom then at me. “Fine. I see how it is. What do you want, pipsqueak? Are you here to apologize like a weichei or are you gonna tell your parents how it really is?”
“I…” Swallowing hard, I bit my lip until I tasted iron. “I don’t know. I think Dad wants me to apologize, but…”
“Ah, is he doing that cryptic ‘better you scout your own battles’ guano again? I feel for you, squirt. Lemme make it easy for you.” She glared bloody murder at both Mom and Dad. “Your parents are bloody idiots wasting their time on me, and the fact they came here first tells me all I need to know. They won’t bucking believe me, and they won’t bucking let me leave. I already almost fell for it once; maybe you can convince them.”
“Convince them of what?” My ears splayed as Mom and Dad both instantly sucked in a breath.
Aunt Mercy just gave a dry, raspy cackle. “That I’m a piece of filthy trash? That I don’t belong here and only hurt you? Take your pick. You got a million choices.” Her whole body wracked itself in soul wrenching shivers. “I almost ran and left Pushing behind. I don’t deserve—”
Mom didn’t let her finish the thought, swooping in to peck her on the lips.
“Damn it, Morning, stop that!”
Nightmother above and below… Stars give me strength. Moon give me guidance. I prayed Princess Luna would find my dreams tonight; the sheer agony in my Aunt’s voice as it cracked was going to haunt me.
I was going to have nightmares about that. I just knew it. What the buck had happened to my Aunt? Did I even want to know? Was Dad right? Should I just let it go?
My face twisted as I took a step back and into a solid wall of Dad. My mouth was flapping, but nothing came out.
I couldn’t apologize. I couldn’t tell her she was right. Not like this.
How the buck did Dad expect me to help?!
Oh, stars. Now she was glaring at me. I was showing weakness—being a weichei. I had to think fast. Do something.
Think! Think! Think! Think! Think!
No! Don’t think! Act!
Before I knew it, I took a step forward and growled. All my anger. All my frustration. All my helplessness. It surged through me, and my face twisted into a snarl as I rumbled like a storm. Muscles tensed. Wings flared.
And when I reared up, Mom and Dad were too slow to stop me.
I stomped into the floor hard enough to crack and crater the wood.
“Do you even bucking hear yourself, right now?!”
And it was gone. All of it was gone like lightning. I felt so tired and heavy. Somepony was crying. It might have been me. Fuck liquid pride. There was nothing to be proud of here. She was right. My Aunt was trash, and it was the worst thing ever.
“Where the buck would you have even gone?! Who else would possibly put up with you for more than five minutes?! You think I’m a weichi for wanting to apologize? You think I’m a wimp for worrying about you? Get real! You’re not my Aunt! You’re just a coward who’s constantly running away, and I was an idiot for thinking otherwise!”
“Night!” Dad hissed and stepped forward to try and pull me back, but I wouldn’t let him.
Aunt Mercy was staring up at me with her ears splayed back. I almost backed down as Mom glared at me with all the heat of a thousand suns.
But Aunt Mercy didn’t need more sympathy.
“Well?! Gonna say anything? Or are you gonna prove me right?” I pulled away to step forward, and my heart wrenched as Mom actually shifted to put herself between me and my Aunt.
Just remember the training. Keep up the facade. Don’t break. Not now. They were the good guards. I was the bad.
“Nightingale Mooncrest! What is wrong with you?!” Mom’s voice cut me like a knife, but her oncoming tirade was stopped short as Aunt Mercy threw back her head to laugh and stand up.
“So the little warmduscher wants to dive head first under the ice now, huh? Calling me coward? Like you even know what I’ve been through. I should put you in your place right here right now.”
Mom immediately turned to keep an eye on both of us from where she stood between us. “Oh for Celestia’s sake, Mercy. Are you really gonna—”
“Oh? You think you can actually take me, you flat-toothed raisin? You’ve been here for months, slacking off as a civvy!” Part of me cringed at cutting off Mom, but the beast in me grinned as my blood boiled. Aunt Mercy was up. Time to go for the throat. “When was the last time you trained? You’re nothing but a lustmolch looking to race the eight-legged horse!”
“Pffft!” Rolling her eyes, Aunt Mercy slipped into her shadow and shot past Mom to pop out beside me and poke my chest. “Get the math right, pipsqueak! It’s the thirteen-legged horse—don’t forget your Dad!”
Both Dad and Mom blinked as she stepped forward to hug me.
Dad reached out a hoof only to pull it back as Aunt Mercy looked at him. “Are… are you alright, Mercy?”
“Pffft! Hay, no!” My aunt snorted and leaned down to nuzzle me despite my glowering. “But I’m a little bit better… I think…. You guys gotta remember I’m not used to getting showered with kindness.”
“Mercy, I swear to Celestia if you’re about to make a dirty joke.” My mom growled, and Aunt Mercy laughed again. It might have been dry and raspy, but it was real and I felt my insides starting to warm.
“There! You see?! Thank Luna, the pity party is finally over!”
“Pity? Is that what this is about?” Dad flicked his ear, face twisting as if he’d been stabbed. I may have felt a little schadenfreude at the sight, but I was quick to claw the guano out of it as viciously as I could.
An ear for an ear left the whole world deaf.
“Nah, you big lug. I’m still pissed you picked me over Night, but I’m just too damn broken for my own good.” She booped my nose, and I instantly tried to bite her. “Love me, and I can’t run. Pity me, and I can. Isn’t that right, Night?”
“Bite me.” I rolled my eyes only to screep as she nipped my ear.
“There! You see!” Aunt Mercy squeezed me so tight I felt my bones crack a bit. “Ohhhhh, that’s the good stuff. She says it just like I did. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”
“See what, Mercy?” Mom was rubbing her temples. “Please, enlighten us.”
“She’s a bloody teenager! Of course she’s not gonna wanna give me a chance!” Her grin turned predatory, and I felt my blood run cold. “I bring out her inner rebel—her Mercy, Merci~ She just needs to challenge you to Schattenkrieg, Morning, and she’ll be my spitting image!”
My life flashed before my eyes at her words. Nightmother protect me if that was true.
“I can’t believe your parents aren’t letting you out for Nightmare Night.” Diamond made for a very scary Queen Umbra as she scowled up at my house. “I’d finally convinced you to dress up as Nightmare Moon, and this happens…. That’s months of planning down the drain—years if you count all the time it took to convince you.”
“We can try again next Nightmare Night.” I smiled as I tossed her some candy from my spot on the porch.
“Ugh… what? But I hate dressing like this.” Scootaloo stomped her patchwork lionpaw into the ground and it squeaked. “Why do I have to be Eris?!”
“Because we were too busy making out to touch our noses.” Rumble snorted from under his glistening, green bed sheet. “You should be glad I let you win. You aren’t stuck as the Smooze.”
“I mean, the rest of you won’t have to join me and Diamond.” Scratching the back of my head, I looked down. “It could just be me and her.”
“I don’t know….” Sweetie giggled as she beamed with very sharp and hungry fake teeth. Thanks to Rarity, her white coat shone like the sun even under the crescent moon. It was very fitting that our Daybreaker would hurt to look at. “I think these costumes are good enough for a second year.
“I’m with Scoots here.” Applebloom grumbled as she adjusted her horns. “Lady Tirana might be better than Eris or Smooze, but not by much. Do you have any idea how many ponies asked where my udders were while we were walking over?”
Sweetie giggled even more maniacally at Applebloom’s exasperated sigh. “I’d put Lady Tirana as worse than Eris or Smooze for that.”
“Centaurs aren’t cows for pete’s sake!” Applebloom threw her hooves up. “I work with cows! I know the difference!”
“I dare you to put on this sheet and say that again.” Rumble raised a hoof to point at Sweetie, his wings flaring beneath the glistening and goopy sheet and making it squelch from all the smooze goop soaked into it.
“If I might…” Silver’s cold dead eyes surveyed us all like we were the insects and not her. “I believe what Night is trying to say is she wants a couples costume, not a group costume. I can taste just what she has in mind.” The swarm of fireflies accompanying her buzzed and glowed with malevolent glee as I blushed.
It was definitely a mistake to let her be Queen Chrysalis.
“It can’t be next year.” While everypony else had bantered, Diamond’s glower had only gotten worse; she glared at my house with enough seething anger for her eyes to burst into shadowy flames. “We need to do it this year. I’m sure if I just talk to them, they’ll—”
“Hate to burst your bubble, Diamond, but that wouldn’t change anything. I have plans once I’m done holding the fort here.” Even as we chatted, my shadow snuck out to deliver some candy to the families that had been politely holding back while we talked. “Since I only have weekends to go out with you guys, I moved some things around. I was due to shadow the Everfree Rangers this weekend, and I didn’t want it getting in the way. Dad has a friend in them though, and he was nice enough to let me come out tonight instead.”
“But— But— But—” Diamond’s glower leveled itself over me, making me take a step back at the intensity. The anger quickly melted as she looked at me, though, her face running an emotional gauntlet as it tried to settle on something until she finally just pouted at me and whispered.
“You can’t promise to do it next year…. You’re going to be off doing who knows what.”
Oh… oh, buck. She was right about that. I hadn’t even thought about—
I staggered as it hit me like a spear to the chest. I was going to miss out on my last Nightmare Night in Ponyville. It might be years before I managed to make it back depending on where I went, and there was no way I would make it if I picked Hollow Shades like I wanted to. Rangers out there could go years without any sort of real contact.
Bugbits and guano, I’d made a mess, and there wasn’t anything I could do to fix it…. Was that why Mom had offered to let me have Nightmare Night off? No… she would have told me if she had thought of that; Dad would have too.
Why had I stupidly stuck to the rules? They had offered, and I— I— I—
“Stop it!” Diamond thwapped me on the back of the head before pulling me in for a quick kiss. “You know I hate seeing you like that. I’m not mad at you. I get it. I’ll just… hire Pinkie to throw a last minute party, I guess.”
The next kiss was longer—long enough that I used my wings to give us some privacy as she did things with her tongue that I didn’t want foals seeing. “You will be dressing up for it~ No arguments~”
“Yes, My Queen!” When Diamond finally let me pull back, my pupils were dilated and my wings were rustling. The only way to hide my gasping for breath was to fall back on the old standard and salute. Even light headed from lack of air, my body obeyed, and it continued to do so as she backed away with the most sinful of smiles.
“Good girl~” She turned to saunter away as the rest of my friends all snickered at me. They waved and said their goodbyes, but I didn’t really hear.
I had eyes and ears for only one pony.
“Truly only the fairest of maidens are worthy of thee, Squire Nightingale.”
Okay, I had ears for two ponies, but my eyes stayed glued on Diamond for as long as I could see her.
“You never made me a squire, Princess.”
“Had your parents allowed it, I would have.”
“Guess I dodged lightning twice, then.” I grunted as Diamond turned the corner and likewise turned to bow to the Princess of the Night. “That would have been worse than you having me jump right into the Lunar Guard.”
“I can still give you an invite, if needed.” She smiled at me, and I scowled right back. “But… I understand your desire to work for it. If you weren’t like that, I never would have offered.”
“Thank you.” The gloom about me lessened just a little at her admission. “If I may, what are you doing here? My dad said you were going to Las Pegasus this year.”
“‘If I may…’” Princess Luna sighed. “Whatever happened to the eager little filly I knew? You’re so formal with me now…”
“She grew up, Your Highness.” I arched my brow a fraction of a millimeter in textbook guard fashion.
“Hrmph! Well, keep that up, and you’ll lose your spot as my favorite niece.” Princess Luna sniffed and looked away—an absolutely empty threat.
“I would hope I’m not your favorite.” Shaking my head, I sighed. “As much as I’d love it… it’ll just get in the way of my dreams.” I managed a smile as I looked up. “Funny how that works. Silver Fang says he gets guano for being one of ‘yours’ and he’s just a normal Canterlot Guard. I’m gonna have my work cut out for me when I finally get into the Lunar Guard.”
As Princess Luna glowered, the whole night sky turned darker, the sea of blurry, murky greys blackening until I could clearly see the individual stars. “If the time comes and anypony gives you any grief for being one of mine, I will destroy them faster than they can blink. They’re my guard—all mine—and I will not brook rumors of favorites.”
“That way lies the Nightmare.” I nodded. “But… you would be playing favorites if you booted them just because of me, Princess.”
Thankfully, the sky didn’t get even darker, but the air around us did start feeling a bit heavy as Princess Luna’s horn crackled and her shadow snarled and gnashed its teeth. “True… I will… need to think on how to deal with that. Perhaps a few trips to the moon?”
Ummm… say what now?
“Yes… that seems like a good way to strengthen their bonds. I shall take them all to the moon for training and a picnic—something only for them and not the foals.”
“What?!” The worry inside me evaporated in the face of instant, seething jealousy, the Nightmare rearing its ugly head within me. “They’re gonna— gonna— But I want to go to the moon!”
“Work hard and get there fast, then.” She grinned like a loon under moon. “Now that you’ve convinced me not to play favorites, you need to earn that privilege.”
“Mmmmmmmm… Mrgmrf!” I crossed my hooves and pouted, ears flat against my head.
“And lo! Is that all it takes for my most faithful and devoted guard to break her stoic mask?” The grin turned into manic giggling as the Princess plucked a piece of candy from the bowl.
I looked away, using the happily spectating line as an excuse to avoid answering. Princess Luna let me stew for a bit as she nibbled on candy, waving to foals yet ultimately making excuses when they wanted to talk or ask questions.
It was weird—doubly so since she had never told me why she was here.
When the line was gone, however, she tossed me a subtle signal to fly up to the house. My shift was done anyways, so I nodded and leapt off the porch to circle up.
There, in the clouds, she looked up at the moon. “Officially, I canceled my plans in Las Pegasus at Princess Twilight’s request. We are claiming that her mystical map is calling me to solve a friendship problem.”
Ah, so it was above my paygrade. Need to know only.
“Unofficially, I am here for your Aunt Mercy. Has she or your parents told you anything yet?” Her gaze shifted from the moon to Mount Canter and her face hardened for a moment. She dropped back into a soft smile the instant she looked at me, though.
Oh…
“No.” I grimaced and looked down. “Dad says it’s only something Aunt Mercy should tell me.”
“Mmm… understandable, if no doubt frustrating.” Princess Luna nodded sympathetically. “Young Mercurial has been shutting me out of her nightmares for months.”
“So you’re here to order her to let you in?” I tilted my head, ear flicking.
“Stars, no.” Quick to shake her head, Princess Luna returned to looking at Canterlot. “Perhaps I will ask her in pony just to see if that changes things, but with certain information that has come to light, I have been digging through the archives and am here to offer legal advice.”
“Oh… so she kept you completely in the dark too?” My face scrunched up.
“Yes, indeed.”
“But now you aren’t?”
“Your parents know more, I imagine. I am little more than an advisor working on imperfect information.” Another glare was leveled towards Canterlot.
“C-can you tell me what you know, then?” Flattening my ears, I bowed my head as I beseeched the glorious weaver of the night.
When Princess Luna fell silent for a moment, I could feel the two wolves inside her savagely fighting each other. “No…. It is tempting. It feels unfair to keep you out of the loop, and yet… For the same reason I do not share what I see in others’ dreams, I cannot share your Aunt’s deepest woes. Her nightmares are without a doubt filled with what your parents and I have learned, and she still refuses me entrance. Even knowing that I know, she would rather suffer.
“You and your parents are likely the only ones who can heal her. Once she is ready to tell you, I trust you will do what is right.”
“That’s if she tells me.” I huffed and crossed my forelegs, sitting on my haunches and sinking my tush into the soft cloud. “She already told my parents. She doesn’t need me.”
“Your parents found out by accident.” Princess Luna tsked as her ethereal mane fluttered in irritation, the stars in it twinkling a little too bright. “I am sure she will tell you when she is ready.”
“Mrgmff… fine.” Taking a deep breath, I sighed and got up so we could head inside. “Can you help me with Diamond, at least? Give me some advice?”
“You’re asking me for romantic advice?!” Lightning boomed as she stomped and threw her head back to laugh. “You’ve heard the stories, young one. You know I bring naught but tragedy.”
“I don’t want romance advice.” Blushing a deep, burning black, I opened the door and hurried inside to the living room. “I have my duties; I need to carry them out. That’s all it is, Princess.”
“Ah, yes… heavy is the burden of the crown. I know more than my share of trying to balance duties to the world and duties to my friends and family.” The way she stifled a snicker while answering was not helping the butterflies in my stomach. “I have seen many years as both a warrior and a princess. I’ve seen both sides of the moon.”
“What does that have to do with—”
She cut me off with a wave of her hoof, and gestured for me to sit in Mom’s lounger. “Metaphorically, dear Nightingale. It is an expression. You two face the same issue I have had with most of my lovers, few as they may be. Long ago, when I hunted the terrors of the night, I was warrior first and princess second.”
With me on the lounger, she settled onto the couch and relaxed, laying out and using its length to full effect. “And yet… I fell for a tavernkeep of all things. Keg Tap was always there. He was always the one to wave me off and the one who listened on my return—the first and the last.
“Back then, it was custom to crawl the taverns before marching out. You never knew if you’d come back, so it was tradition to celebrate the night before. It kept my soldiers’ spirits high, and it let me forget how most simply ignored the night.”
She gave me a strange look—half-grimacing, half-smiling. “I am, curious, though. What do they say of Keg Tap in the stories nowadays, Nightingale?”
“They…” Biting my lip, I looked down. “They say you came back to find his inn burned down and an invading army of griffons mowing through town towards the capital.”
“Very true. That… that was his tragedy, but there are likely none alive save me and my sister who know that our romance ended not upon my return… but when I left him three months before.” Her smile was tiny and barely clinging to life as I snuck a peek—little more than a ghost next to the pain bleeding through it. “He broke our engagement when I left to fight the griffons; the stress of me constantly going into battle—whether it was with monsters or tyrants—was just too much. He had given all his heart could give me, and it wasn’t enough to weather the wait.”
“Oh…” There was little I could say in the face of being trusted with such info.
“Indeed.” Luna nodded sagely as she levitated a candy-coated cockroach out of the bowl and bit into it. Dad was watching from the arch to the kitchen, while Mom had left her post to shoo a nosy Aunt Mercy away. “I… felt it better to let his memory live on than to share the truth. Perhaps it was just one more mistake, but at the time, it soothed my soul thinking he would never be forgotten if all of thestral kind thought of him as their first prince consort. They immortalized him for me, and I couldn’t bring myself to correct them.”
With a bitter laugh, she shook her head. “It was selfish of me, and worse, I did it without understanding why he left me. I had already been hurt, and his death only made it worse. I couldn’t spare time to think when I had griffons to make pay.”
She took a deep, shaky breath and shivered. “But that… is neither here nor there. You wanted advice, and so I’m trying to make you understand both sides. Keg wished for me to stay at the capital and to command my troops from afar. I could have done it—I am a master of scrying and spying. My connection to dreams is a message system very few in this world could ever interfere with. I was perfectly capable of performing my duties and staying safe, yet it felt as if I was cheating my soldiers to consider such.”
I nodded vehemently at her words. Finally, some pony was getting me. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that, Princess. Silver Fang keeps saying I should stay local, but if I can be out there doing good, I need to be.”
“Hold now. I said there were two sides to the tale.” Luna smiled with the weight of the world on her shoulders. “After Keg, I only claimed fellow warriors—usually thestrals. Centuries passed, and eventually the tables turned. I was stuck tending to more and more matters of state as peace slowly took hold. There were fewer monsters for me to hunt, fewer wars for me to wage. As harmony took hold of the land, I was soon locked in a battle of a different kind within the capital.”
“The Starfall Initiatives…” I glowered as I spat the words, my hackles rising as I ground my teeth in frustration.
“An ironic name, is it not?” Princess Luna nodded. “In hindsight, so many of my attempts to have day dwellers appreciate the night were doomed to failure.”
“I liked them.” I puffed out my chest as I defended my Princess’ honor, something that made Dad chuckle from where he watched. A squeak from the ceiling heralded the fact that Aunt Mercy had slipped away from Mom.
That or they were both snooping now, which was terrifying.
“Of course, you would like them.” Princess Luna giggled as she savored another candy-coated cockroach. “That was the problem. I was so used to being night kin that I had forgotten how to think like a day dweller. T’was a shame, yet I can’t blame anypony but myself for falling into my sister’s shadow.”
“If… if you say so, Princess.” The urge to object was strong, but there was no changing the princess’ mind when set.
“I do.” She frowned at my hesitation before sighing. “If you don’t believe me, close your eyes. I want you to imagine something for me.”
Immediately slamming my eyes shut, I squirmed in my seat, ears standing at full attention.
“Imagine the Castle of the Two Sisters as it once was, long, long ago.” There was the soft sound of Princess Luna’s horn lighting majestically, the sound wavering like a celestial wind.
In my mind’s eye the old, ruined castle rose up to pierce the night sky. Crumbling spires turned into gleaming spears, broken ramparts sucked up long forgotten rubble to become whole, and the Everfree Forest faded to be replaced by majestic woods. Time rewound itself before me—the gaping hole that was the throne room’s scar vanishing into the aether—and the capital city reformed from its ashes like a phoenix from the flames.
My face was scrunched in intense thought as my imagination went wild to make sure every detail was just right for the princess. I could hear her grin as she stayed silent save for crunching into more cockroaches and waiting for me to finish.
“Alright, Princess, go.” I nodded as I finished the image with a nice full moon and Princess Luna stargazing on the balcony of her room.
“Now… you can see the city, yes? It was always quiet at night…. The streets were dark; the sky was clear. It was always perfect for stargazing and moonlit walks—or it would have been if anypony was up. You see, unlike Canterlot, the old capital had no Undercity. It was a town full of day dwellers. The few thestrals that made their home there were mostly my own Lunar Guard and their families.”
I tweaked a few parts here or there at the princess’ words, but for the most part I was happy I had gotten things right.
“You believe your duty comes before Diamond, Nightingale?”
My ears splayed back at the piercing question. “Ummm…”
“Because it was there—in the Castle, alone—I was kept apart from my lovers by duty and the drive to do good. They were good stallions and mares—all of them, a herd most fine—but it was often months between chances for our star-crossed paths to meet. It was because they chose to serve rather than love…” Luna took a deep steady breath. “…that I was left with naught but the Nightmare’s whispers.”
I scowled as my mental image darkened, storm clouds rumbling on the horizon and doors and windows getting barred. The image went from majestic to barren in an instant, and instead of staring up at the sky, my mini mental moon princess gazed out over the city with a longing and weary face.
“It is not their fault… at least, no more than it was Celestia’s or my own. They were my most devoted—their faith in me to handle anything was unshakable. I… never really let them see the pain I was in; I was too focused on enjoying what little time we had to let it get in the way. The rest of my guard told them, same as they told my sister, but to them, I was too strong to succumb to something like mere envy.” Luna spat the word with enough force that I flinched. There was just a hint of the Royal Voice to it. “Perhaps if I had shown them my weakness, tantabus help me…”
Buck… I could see it now…. I could see it, and it couldn’t be unseen.
The night sky darkened in my mind’s eye as the whispers filled my head. The castle was tall—too tall—and the princess was all alone in her room on one of the tallest towers. It wasn’t a room meant for a herd—too small. If they saw her one or two at a time, and each visit was months apart. Had she gone years without seeing them? Was she softening the blow?
The sun and moon danced, constantly rising and setting as time passed in an instant, and I watched the Princess staring forlornly into the distance for days.
“Envy is what the stories call it—envy of my sister.” Luna was shaking her head with a grimace as I opened my eyes with a grunt. “It was so much more than that, though. I finally understood what it was like for Keg Tap. I was left to constantly wonder when my herdmates would come home, and to worry if they would even make it back at all.” She barked out a bitter laugh. “I worried, and they faced troubles that were nothing compared to those I faced when I met Keg Tap. The things I must have put him through….”
Weak as I was, I couldn’t take the sight. Every time I blinked, I saw the old castle, and the image burned to look at. The thought of putting Diamond through that….
But she was strong, right?
Stronger than Princess Luna?
Okay, maybe not, but… there had to be some form of compromise.
“I see you understand the problem, now.” Luna gave a rueful chuckle as my face twisted and contorted. “Lady Tiara does not seem the sort to fall to the Nightmare as I did, but it will still hurt her to be so far apart.”
“And it hurts me to hurt her.” I muttered sullenly into the floor, refusing to look up.
Hurts her to hurt me to hurt her to hurt me to hurt her…
Scrabbling at my head, I groaned and gnashed my fangs. “Ugh… it’s not fair!” Thunder rumbled as I slammed my hoof down into the cloud.
“Sorry to interrupt, Night.” Dad stepped forward to rub my back. “But the moon is high and it’s getting close to when we need to head out. That might be a good thing, though. It seems the Princess gave you a lot to think about.”
“I just got more problems.” I groaned and tried to bury myself in Mom’s chair. “Not answers.”
“No.” Dad shook his head as he pulled me right back out of the cloud to set me on my hooves. “It’s the same problem you had with a new perspective. You’ve been running from it, Night. You think no matter what you pick, things will work out, and that’s just not true.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t even bother with Hollow Shades, then?” My ears flattened to try and hide from the truth.
“No.” The truth didn’t come. “If you really want to keep Diamond and go to Hollow Shades, there is probably a way, but you are the only one who knows Diamond well enough to figure out what that is. It will take blood, sweat, and tears if that’s what you really want, but I’m sure you can find a way to stay with her.”
Dad rested his hoof on my shoulder. “And if you can’t? Then you need to ask yourself if it’s worth losing her. There are plenty of other bugs in the cave. Diamond may be your first, but she doesn’t have to be your last.”
“Or…” Princess Luna smiled from her spot on the couch with all the grace and warmth befitting the title of Nightmother. “…should she be worth far more than even a spot in my guard, then you will need to figure out just where you are going if you wish to keep her.”
“Worth more than a spot in the Lunar Guard?”
The words were heresy, and yet…
Dad was right. I needed time to think about it—preferably days. Shaking my head I trotted to my room to get ready.
My armor was as spic and span as supply sergeants Spic and Span could make it. Dad and I made our way out of town to meet the rangers out at the edge of the Everfree. Having Dad escort me was a little embarrassing, but it was his friend I was shadowing tonight. I couldn’t really complain.
The forest loomed overhead, and the air was ominously black beneath its boughs. There was no stopping my hackles from rising as we entered the path to Zecora’s house; it was always like that, even after years of wrestling manticores with Dad.
“You ready for a night filled with terror and wonder?” Dad chuckled from beside me. “Grave Digger said he was going to give you the full tour.
“Sort of.” We stopped there, a little bit in, and I looked from side to side, peering into the gloomy brush. “I’m still worried about Diamond, but… if I can’t stop worrying about her here, how can I possibly last a night in Hollow Shades? The spoopems will gobble me right up.”
“Heh… Just give it time, Champ. I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Dad patted me on the back.
I almost hugged Dad, but the moment was ruined by a stick cracking nearby. Both of us immediately tensed and swiveled our ears. There were a few moments of silence where Dad and I heard the shuffling of some sort of beastie in the bushes to our left.
Then Dad rolled his eyes and reached into his shadow, and there was a yelp from our right as he dragged out the scruffiest thestral I had ever seen. “Nice try, Bones. Next time try burying yourself, and maybe you’ll actually get the drop on me.”
I stared at the ranger in Dad’s hooves, a thousand emotions warring inside me. Dad had picked him out like it was nothing, while I had heard neither peep nor screep.
His armor was a completely different beast than the normal guard attire. Rather than polished to the point of gleaming, it was dull and muddied looking. Different shades blended and patchworked across a light suit with a few dark and tarnished pieces of metal acting as pauldrons. He had no helmet—just his mud-covered face.
When I saw his steel-hooved boots, my face scrunched up, ears swiveling as I clicked like mad. How had I heard little more than a stick cracking? Those things sounded heavier than cinder blocks.
“As observant as ever, aren’t you, Squeaks?” The ranger waggled his brow at Dad as he dangled in his grip. “I was trying to test your daughter, though, not you. Aren’t you the one that wrote to me that that desk job of yours was making you soft?” He barked and growled over at the beast in the shadows, and I blinked as a timber wolf walked right out and over to his hooves to curl up.
“Maybe if you actually crawled out of the woods more than once a year, you’d realize just how dangerous pushing the purple princess’s papers is.” With a chuckle, Dad set his friend down. “Soft for Ponyville is grizzled and hardened in almost any other town. You ought to visit for more than a single night of pub crawling every other blue moon; it might just toughen you up.”
“Pffft. No thanks there. I’ll take the star beasts and bug bears.” He turned from Dad to look up at me. “Now for you… hrmmm… Size, power, and good wings for endurance flying? That’ll be useful with wrestling and relocating any monsters that need to be taken care of, but I don’t know…. You’ve almost got too much of a record to believe.”
“Permission to speak, sir?” I stood at perfect attention.
“Granted.”
“I’ve been wrestling with Manticores in here going on five years now. Every word of that record is true; I just need the chance to prove it.”
“Oh?” He glanced at Dad who nodded. “Well, Discord damn me, that is pretty pretty impressive. Careful about claiming it’s all true, though. Not everything I’ve heard is good.”
My insides clenched at his words, but I said nothing. My face was carved from stone as I stood tall and proud; my soon-to-be mentor tilted his head to look at me with a searching gaze, and though I felt the urge to squirm, I squashed it down.
“Mmm…” After what felt like an eternity, he finally held out a hoof. “At ease, soldier. You aren’t working for us yet, but you’re gonna find that that ramrod straight walk you see in the cities means absolute squat out here.”
Oh, no… please don’t be Canterlot all over again.
Did rules mean nothing anymore?
“If that’s… what you want, sir.” Despite my best efforts, I had to grind the words out.
It made both Dad and his friend chuckle.
“Call me Grave Digger—Corporal if you want to pull ranks.” The stallion pushed his hoof closer when I didn’t take it. “I know going rankless probably feels weird for somepony that grew up with both their parents in the Royal Guards, but it’s worth getting accustomed to such. Some stations are much more casual than others—ours is a bit of a mixed bag.”
“How so, Corporal?” I couldn’t risk the viper biting me, so I kept standing as still as a statue until he took it back.
“You’ve got a lot of ponies like me who are just here to get away from everything.” With a shrug, Corporal Digger set his hoof down and rustled his wings, his own pose hardening up into something more professional. “We can pull the act, make no mistake, and there are even a few that find it useful. My CO barely talks unless he’s pulling rank—and I don’t mean that in a bad way. He’s about as shy as they come without the mask.”
I was sensing a but.
“However—” That was close enough. “—for us, it’s just a means of being quick and efficient. There’s no glory or pride to it, and we don’t practice being statues like they do in the Royal Guards. Every minute I’m stuck ordering you around is a minute not spent doing my job, understand?”
Mmm… function and efficiency over form. Different battlefield, different rules..
“Sir, yes, sir!” I snapped a crisp salute.
Corporal Digger snorted and turned to Dad. “You know, I was told she was formal, but I really thought a chance to meet die Phantome der Nacht would have had her foaming at the mouth. She runs with those sunblasted Crusaders, doesn’t she?”
“I would never let myths and fairy tales get in the way of my work, sir!” I stomped a bit harder than I meant to. I may have been more of a daydweller than most thestrals, but that didn’t mean I was stupid enough to believe in vamponies.
The corporal blinked for a moment at my response. “Myths?” He looked at Dad. “You never told her?”
“Of course not, Corporal.” Dad growled as he drew out his friends title with a rigid grin. “As Captain of the Dawn Guard, I understand the importance of national secrets. What do you take me for?”
“A father that loves bragging to his little filly? Damn it, Mettle. Of all the times for you to follow the rules, you pick today? Really? Now I look like the bad guy.” Corporal Digger glanced at me and licked his lips.
“I don’t brag about things that could endanger her.” Oh, thank Luna. Dad had stopped pulling rank. “If I’d told her they were in the Everfree, there’s a good chance either she or one of her friends would have gone looking. Just look at her.” He waved a hoof towards me, but my eyes were glassy as I stared off into the distance.
“Vamponies are real….” I could hardly believe it; I wouldn’t have believed it if Dad hadn’t pulled rank. “How many…?”
With a sigh, Dad patted my shoulder. “Thirteen. There have only ever been thirteen. All the stories about thralls and conversion are just that. Die Phantome der Nacht are…” He bit his lip. “They can tell the story themselves.”
“Errr… Tempered? With all due respect, I don’t know that I should take her that deep.” Corporal Digger shuffled on his hooves. “Not if she didn’t know. I was only going to take her because I thought—“
“You thought wrong, so now you’ll take her or pay the price.” Dad bared his fangs in a grin.
“But my CO—”
“—is going to be getting a letter from a certain princess with orders the instant I get back to town.” Dad slapped his friend on the back. “If I gotta clean up your mess, you can take my daughter out there. Spilling classified secrets—the nerve.”
“Hey! You don’t get to lecture me on that, This is nothing compared to the time you blabbed that Nightmare Moon was coming back.” The Corporal slugging my dad was the last thing I saw as my brain completely fried.
“Dad knew about—” My shout was cut off by a hoof in my mouth.
“Technically, it wasn’t me who did that.” Dad arched his brow at his friend. “I was just the courier.”
“Courier! Hah!” Corporal Digger threw his head back and laughed. “You carted that crazy astronomer into your mom’s bar and dragged him around like a trophy! What was his name again? It was Night-something-or-other.”
“It was Nightlight….” Dad sighed as he ran a hoof down his face. “You know, I found out after becoming Captain that he’s Princess Twilight’s bucking dad? She hadn’t been born when I met him, but it turns out the crazy apple doesn’t fall far from the crazy tree; he just spotted the stars moving a little too early.”
Taking a deep breath, he shook his head and wrapped a hoof around the corporal, hugging him close enough that I could hear the bones creaking. “But that’s two state secrets blown now, buddy. If you couldn’t tell, Night here had no idea about that either—hay, not even Morning knows that one. The sun witch herself swore me to secrecy, just like she did with everypony else in that bar.”
“No… that has to be a load of guano. You didn’t tell Morning?” The Corporal gulped. “That’s uhhhh…”
“Corporal? Please don’t tell me you blabbed about Nightmare-bloody-Moon over pillow talk.”
“While I can neither confirm nor deny your statement, Captain, I will withdraw all complaints about taking your daughter to die Phantome der Nacht.” Corporal Digger snapped off a salute to Dad; his timber wolf mimicked the action.
Dad waved them off, rolling his eyes as he started walking away. “Just try not to blab any more secrets, will you? Rangers are supposed to be brooding and quiet.”
“Damn it, Mettle.” Corporal Digger muttered under his breath as soon as Dad disappeared. “Why do you think I’m out here on my own? I should have gotten Moon Flower to do this instead of me….”
His timber companion let out a sympathetic whine and nuzzled its owner.
“Mmm… alright, Tulip, alright! Down, girl.” He pet the pile of lumber as it licked his face with a leafy tongue. “You’re right. I do have you.”
As he turned to look at me, I was still a bit too dazed to do anything other than fall back on the old standard; I fired off a salute and stood at perfect attention.
“Let’s get going and follow my lead. It’s best to move like a hunter in these woods. No hall patrols here, got it?”
“Understood, sir.” I followed as the corporal about faced and stalked into the forest.
Head down, rump up, our ears were in constant motion as we crept through the gloom. A constant buzz filled the air from bugs flitting just out of sight. A snake slithered off to our left—or maybe it was a giant millipede. It was hard to tell with all the brush, and when the corporal’s wolf pounced on it, the beastie was quick to burrow down with a hiss.
“Tulip, no!” Corporal Digger clicked his tongue, and his companion was instantly back at our side. “What have I told you about slurping up snakes?”
Tulip barked.
“They are danger noodles, Tulip. If you want spaghetti, you should go after worms instead.”
“Rrrrruff, ruff!” Twigs flew as a woody tail wagged.
“I don’t care if venom makes a better sauce than mud. You know what spicy food does to you.”
Tulip’s stomach gurgled in agreement with the corporal, making Tulip whine and pout at her master. “Rrrrowr?”
The Corporal sighed and stopped to dig in his shadow, pulling out an air-tight metal box. I opened my mouth to ask about the heavy security and locks, but as they hissed and clicked open at his touch, I was able to smell the answer.
“Spoiled, little pup.” With a chuckle, he threw his pet the bloodiest hunk of meat it had ever been my pleasure to see. The container was sealed in a flash, and washed in his shadow to strip the smell before he dropped it back through.
“Do you just… have those stored everywhere in the forest?” I whispered and hastily wiped the waterfall of drool from my face.
My mentor nodded to the trees. “Since the Everfree Rangers are an all thestral unit, we’ve made little nooks and crannies all over to hide supplies. It makes lugging stuff around less of an issue. Though less numerous, we have also dug a few emergency caves to shadow hop to, but the Everfree doesn’t like it if we make too many of those. It’s eat or be eaten out here.”
“An all thestral unit? I don’t remember anything about that being on the application. Why would it be all thestrals? I know it’s dangerous, but this isn’t Hollow Shades.” My ear flicked and swiveled to track some far off stomping beast as it roared in the depths of the forest.
“You really think we’d risk any daydwellers disturbing die Phantome der Nacht?” The corporal held up a hoof to stop us as we approached a river, tossing a pebble into it and nodded when nothing came rushing up from below. “It’s not advertised, but we quietly turn down any daydwellers that apply. There aren’t that many who do.”
“Huh….” I bit my lip and looked around. Some of the trees looked back, their gnarled and knotted faces crying out in agony. “And I guess even if it’s a small area, all the evil left from the Nightmare is concentrated here.”
“You have absolutely no idea.” With a snort, Corporal Digger leapt to glide over the river with Tulip right at his back. I’d never seen timberwolves jump like that, but then again, she had to be a different breed or something. None of her wood was rotting. “It’s good to see you can keep up. A lot of recruits would be a quivering wreck by now.”
“Would that be from fear or exhaustion, sir?” I couldn’t help puffing out my chest a fraction of an inch at the praise.
“Yes.” He looked me up and down. “That said, you hardly look like a new recruit. I hope your parents haven’t been pushing you too hard?”
“I push myself, sir.”
“So I’ve heard….” For some reason he sighed as he pushed some vines to the side and continued. “Regardless, I can appreciate the hustle and endurance.”
“Endurance was always my strong suit. Fitting in small spaces or gaps? Not so much.” I tried to follow him smoothly into the brush, but the branches and vines clutched at me like a web snaring prey. I had to melt down into my shadow to escape and reach the other side—something he arched his brow at.
“Do you always do that?” Corporal Digger unlatched a machete and sheath from his armor, and hooved it to me. “Seems like a waste of energy to constantly use your shadow.”
“I have energy to spare, and it’s usually easier for me than muscling my way through.” The belt didn’t fit me naturally so I ended up jury rigging it to my armor rather than strapping it to me. “It doesn’t help anypony for me to go bursting through walls or breaking down doors.”
“Your father would disagree.” The corporal chuckled as he bent down and led me under a half-fallen tree. It appeared to have been struck by lighting, and time had turned it into a mossy and mushroom-covered arch.
“Yeah, well, that’s different.” My face scrunched up for a moment before I quickly schooled it. “Dad does it, and he’s a hero. I do it, and it’s vandalism.”
“You speaking from experience?”
“No. I just don’t like collateral damage; I’m not my father, Corporal.”
That got him to pause and look back at me. “Huh… You sure? I’ve heard some pretty wild stories about you and your friends.”
My stoney facade sharpened into a shadow-filled glower. “And if anypony bothered to tell those stories right, you would know I’m the one minimizing all the Crusaders’ damage as much as possible. My friends are a force of nature, Corporal. I’m just the umbrella.”
“Is that so?”
“They once flooded the town with tree sap, sir. If that isn’t a force of nature, I don’t know what is.”
“I see.” The response was short and clipped as Corporal Digger glanced into the foliage around us. We continued on in silence for a bit, and as we did, Tulip bounded in and out of the brush around us.
The quiet gnawed at me like a starving wolf the more we trekked on, though. My guide and mentor wasn’t really doing much to show me how things were done. We climbed a few trees, swung on some vines, and wrestled a giant mandraboara that was feeling territorial.
None of it seemed important; we were just wandering through the woods!
How was I supposed to distract myself from thinking about Diamond like this?
“So… is this all you do here, sir?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you do more than general patrols?”
“Sometimes.” He nodded, but didn’t elaborate. His pace had slowed and his ears swiveled about. I ached to ask him more, but the way he was watching the woods made me bite my tongue.
“I often relocate and reroute animals with Tulip.” When Corporal Digger next spoke, his voice could barely be called a whisper. “I can’t exactly wrestle manticores, but we can herd the more nasty packs of wolves. Sometimes we even borrow a pack if I’m asked to take on something big, but usually it’s Silent Hill who handles the bigger beasts. He’s built like you and your dad. Moon Flower handles plants and collects samples for research, while Tan Hide…”
Pausing, he held out a hoof, and I stiffened. My ears swung wildly to try and hear what he did that I didn’t, and the few seconds of pure, nerve wracking silence only served to—
Wait a minute.
It wasn’t just silent; it was silent.
That’s what he was listening for! No wonder I couldn’t hear it! There wasn’t anything to hear in the first place!
No birds calling… no bugs buzzing… no trees creaking… and an unnatural stillness to the air….
“Uhh, Corporal?” High on the thermals of success, I immediately nosedived straight into failure-town by opening my big, dumb mouth.
“Shush-shush-shush-shushhhhhhh!” Hoof met muzzle, but it was too late.
The world shook with the roar of thunder, the twang of a bow, and the swoosh of a spear.
Corporal Digger went from plugging my mouth to tackling me to the ground as a line of searingly bright light shot out from behind a tree.
I got the slightest glimpse of an enormous fletched spear whose tip burned with solfire.
It was both blinding and beautiful to watch. At least, it was until my brain caught up to the fact it was curving mid air to aim at my face.
The image was seared into my eyes even after everything went black. Corporal Digger might have dragged me into the shadow realm, but I only had eyes for my narrowly avoided doom.
The two of us fell in the inky black for what felt like forever until we were dumped into a damp, mucky cave with a plop. The floor was flooded with a solid inch of water, and the smell of rot and fungus was strong. The floor beneath the water sucked at my hooves as I stood up, with mud thick enough to worry about sinkholes churning beneath us.
“Discord damn it!” The corporal was clutching his side as he floundered up on his hooves and hissed. “That. Bucking. Hurt! Get over here and check the wound, now! We need to make sure it won’t get infected!”
What?
My face must have mirrored my thoughts, because Corporal Digger growled and raised his wing so I could see what looked like a long cut in his side. The saddlebags had been cut right off and were drifting in the muck. His armor looked to have melted slightly from the touch of… something….
Had he been shot pushing me down and out of the way?!
I scrambled over to the corporal as he waved his wing to get me to go faster. “There’s no blood. Is that a good thing? What the hay was that?!”
“Orion the Hunter.” Corporal Digger grimaced as he pulled some bandages from his pack. “He’s not well known. A lot of ponies don’t survive contact, and he’s the only star beast of his kind. Standard protocol with him is to run like tartarus is nipping at your tail, but as you can see, the best spot we had to run to was—”
“—a filthy, flooded pit?” I arched my brow at him and the soggy bundle of cloth. “Those aren’t going to help with infection, sir.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” An intense glower was leveled my way. “It’s just to stop me from dripping a trail of blood while we find more reliable shelter. The cut might look clean and cauterized, but we don’t know if moving will cause it to open.”
“Why even run here? How did you know it was here? How were you familiar enough to make the jump? This has to be…” I poked my head out of the cave to blink in bemusement at the swampy muck that bubbled and festered as far as the eye could see. “…at least a mile from where we were? You had us falling through the darkness forever.”
“This was one of our designated safehouses until an Aquarias butted heads with an Ankaa about three months ago. A lot of the region is still flooded with hot, bubbling muck as you can see. The cave didn’t make it, and we haven’t found a suitable replacement for it, so…”
“So, we’re up the creek without a paddle.” I sighed.
“Only until we find shelter.” As he followed me out of the cave, he nearly tripped and fell. “It doesn’t need to be a safehouse or supply cave. Enough of the little hidey-holes should have survived that I can grab us med supplies, but most of the places we hide supplies are small, tight, and hard for anything to get into.”
“Don’t want bears in your house, eh, sir?” I caught him and let him lean on me.
“Bears, manticores, fragments of Nightmare Moon.” With a gesture of his wing, the corporal gave me a heading to follow. “You would be amazed how much the latter loves stealing snacks. There’s a supply cave a few miles that way, by the way. We should stumble upon some other form of shelter beforehoof, but head that way to be sure. If something tries to eat us, I’m taking another shadow hop.”
“No offense, sir, but you aren’t exactly in any shape to—”
“I am getting you to safety, one way or another.” Corporal briefly leveled another glare at me. “If that means doing so from the grave, I will.”
I fell quiet at his words, my stomach churning.
Seeing self sacrifice from the other side? It wasn’t nearly as glamorous as I thought it’d look.
Did Diamond always feel this guilty when I played the hero? Or was it just because I wasn’t used to being saved?
“So… that Orion thing…” It took a bit to find the words. “He’s not another state secret is he?”
“Heavens, no.” Corporal Digger started laughing only to wince. “You would probably know him as Eerie Eye.”
“The thestral who hunted one of every star beast to woo the moon?” I blinked.
“The one and only.” My companion grunted as he did his best to keep pace with me, but his face was pale and pained as we moved. “Remember how the story ended with the moon taking him as a consort and bringing him into the heavens? There’s a constellation to commemorate that. Orion is the star beast that eventually coalesced from it down here.
“There’s only ever one; thank the stars for that. Eerie Eye was scary enough as just a mortal. Orion has all the cunning of his origin on top of the strength and power of a star beast.”
With a grumble, he held up his wing to stop me, then gestured to a nearby spit of land that wasn’t bubbling. It had a hollowed out tree trunk that could at least shield us from some of the elements.
“That’ll work. Take me there.” He swore under his breath as just turning took us quite a bit of work, the muck sucking at our hooves with every agonizing step. “I should have run sooner, but I hesitated.”
My brow furrowed. “Hesitated over what?”
“You were top priority, but I was trying to figure out if I could grab Tulip too.”
Ohh… I hadn’t thought about…
“Is she gonna be okay?” I helped rest the corporal on his haunches as we crawled into the trunk. My brow furrowed as I chewed at my lip and considered his words.
“Probably, but there’s always a chance she won’t be.” From his new spot in the gloom, Corporal Digger twisted his face as he scrounged up the energy to shove his hoof into his shadow and rummage for supplies. “Orion doesn’t really hunt any of the timber animals. They don’t register to him the same way flesh and blood do. You saw that his arrows burn, though, and she might be crazy enough to bite him for shooting at us.”
Soap, water skins, and various things to clean the muck were first, and he furiously scrubbed his hoof clean before reaching back in for more. “There are plenty of things that do hunt timber wolves, though, and those are what I’m worried about. She’s trained to head back to the station and wait for me, though, so as long as she makes it there….”
Fresh bandages were next, pulled out carefully with his clean hoof and set to the side. “Alright, rookie. Time to help me strip and clean the wound. This time we’re gonna do it right and bind it up under the armor. Then we’ll rest… an hour maybe? That’s more than enough time to mope and pray the damn muck didn’t infect it.”
“Do you need more than an hour, sir?” I was both relieved and perturbed at the lack of humor as I moved to follow the corporal’s orders. Dad would have been cracking jokes left and right if it was him; things would be weird, but at least if things were weird I might be less stressed. I could feel a little twitch threatening to break my whole stoney facade as I shed Corporal Digger’s armor and took to cleaning and disinfecting the wound.
“An hour is the most we can afford.” There was a scathing hiss in response to me washing the wound gently. “I sent us a decent distance away, sure, but there’s always a chance Orion will head this way. The odds are low since he doesn’t know where we went, but even a chance of meeting him again is a risk we can’t take. If he catches the scent of my singed hide? Of the very prey he just missed? We aren’t going to get away next time; he won’t let us.”
“Great…. Well, it might not be a vampony, but I guess this is just as wild. I assume you’re planning on taking me back?” The cut was wide and shallow, so I was stuck wrapping a huge amount of the corporal in bandages before I rested him against the back of the tree trunk.
“What? Are you kidding? This was nothing. Real— Ow! Bucking solfire!” Having tried to pat his side as proof, the corporal failed utterly to convince me. “Look. I promised Mettle I’d take you, and I might not be in the best shape to do that now, but I carry through on my promises. Besides, it’s not a proper ranger adventure if you aren’t stuck in the forest for a few more years than you planned on.”
“Come again, sir?”
“It’ll take an extra night, maybe two, but if we can get to the station, I’ll have one of the others take you after a good day’s rest.”
“Sir, you really don’t have to. Besides, what am I going to tell my parents?”
“Let me handle that when we get to the station. I’m sure we have a bottle of dragonfire somewhere.”
“If you say so, sir.” I moved to the entrance of our little hollow and stared out into the forest.
Maybe it was just an hour, but it felt like it was going to be a long vigil on my part.
The station was little more than a grungy little outhouse surrounded by wild gardens. My face wrinkled at the smell of all natural manure as we walked through the various vines, roots, and berry bushes, and as we reached the door to the teeny-tiny shack, Corporal Digger pushed it open and all but tumbled down some stairs.
I rushed to make sure he was okay, following him down into the darkness. The base itself was subterranean in nature, and roots clung to dirt walls held up by wooden supports.
About two stories down, the stairs opened up into an open room. The corporal waved me off towards a desk with a stool before it before he shambled into another room. There was a screep of surprise as he left the room, then yelling, and I squirmed on the stool as the shouting only got louder.
The floor was covered in furs with nothing good to really count, so I focused on the desk before me and started counting all the pencils that had been shoved in a ‘World’s Best CO’ mug.
There were thirty-two. I had counted three times, and the yelling had yet to stop. The voice was a rich, deep bass that spewed enough vulgarity to give Sergeant Smiles a run for her money.
Whoever it was; he was pissed, and I was best finding more things to count.
The in and out piles on the desk were full of standard grade triplicate. Real thick stuff—thick enough to count if I wanted—but I had seen Dad’s office enough to know there was about twenty-seven documents coming in and a measly three going out.
Two letters direct from Princess Twilight were definitely not lying open between the piles of paperwork, and both of them were not rumpled and almost torn in frustration. A bottle of emergency dragon fire was next to them, along with a blank note and several ripped up and redacted responses.
A small nameplate read Major Silent Hill, and when the yelling finally stopped, a giant thestral shuffled out of the back room to perch behind the desk. Big as a mountain, his hoofs fell hesitantly, and he avoided looking at me every step of the way. He sat back, and the old chair groaned at the enormous amount of muscle and heavy armor trying to crush it.
His hooves stayed soft and light as he picked up his pencil to resume writing a response to Princess Twilight. Very quiet. No force behind them. Not at all like the tattered and torn responses littering the floor.
“Mmmf…” his mumble was punctuated by a small peek before he looked away from me again. “Mmhmm-mmm-mff….”
“Err… come again, sir?” I glanced towards the stonily silent door and gulped. “I’m sorry if I caused any problems.”
“Nff…” He refused to look at me as he answered, gripping into pencil hard enough to crack it and earn some splinters.
“Silent’s not really one for talking, Miss… Nightingale, is it?” A slim mare melted from the shadows behind him to smile at me. “Don’t worry. You aren’t in trouble.”
“I’m more worried about Corporal Digger, ma’am.”
“Oh?” Her smile widened as the mountain beside her squirmed and squeaked like an itty-bitty mole with gravel down his throat. “Well, I just finished checking him and getting him to bed. You did good work getting him back.”
“That’s… not exactly what I meant.” My ears folded back at the mere memory of the shouting.
“Mm’srry….” It was extra small and quiet, but I swore the CO was apologizing for doing his job.
“It’s not often we get letters directly from one of the Commanders in Chief, and those two were about twelve hours apart.” The mare nodded towards Princess Twilight’s letters. “Silent’s been a nervous wreck all night about whatever’s in them—constantly muttering to himself. He’s all bark and no bite when it comes to ponies, though. He just… gets a bit carried away sometimes. Only way he’s able to actually reprimand us is by channeling his old drill sergeant.”
Oh… well, that would explain why it sounded like Sergeant Smiles.
“Anyways, my name is Moon Flower, and I’ll be taking things over from the corporal from here. As soon as I get my armor on, we’ll be going, alright?”
“Yes, ma—”
“That’s after I finish my letter, Specialist.” The difference in the major as he set down his pencil and looked up was like night and day. His scowl was chiseled from stone as he growled at Moon Flower, all signs of meekness gone.
“Sir, yes, sir!” She saluted; he nodded.
The instant he picked the pencil back up to write, all the fierceness was gone as quick as it had appeared. He quietly mumbled and grumbled to himself, but it was so quiet I couldn’t hear a thing. Even Miss Fluttershy was louder than him.
“Just wait there. I’ll be back ASAP.” Moon Flower slipped away before I could even salute her, leaving me to squirm with the major.
We sat there the next few minutes, each pointedly not looking at the other. The scratching of pencil on paper was the only noise in otherwise deafening silence. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore, and I peeked up with an audible gulp.
“I’m sorry for any inconvenience I caused, sir.”
Major Silent Hill grunted and finished off his sentence before leveling his gaze on me. “It’s not your fault. I was reprimanding the corporal on the Princess’s orders—something about him spilling state secrets above my pay grade. I apologize if doing so has soured your feelings for the rangers. I let my feelings get the better of me doing so; you were supposed to be home by now, not sitting here.”
“Is… that what the second letter is for?” I shiftily glanced at the pair of royal missives in front of him.
“Yes. Your parents are worried and I was afraid I’d have to give them The News. There’s a lot of things lurking in these woods.” Picking his pencil back up, he finished off his response and used a bottle of dragonfire to send it on its way.
Oh… Oh, no….
“I’m so sorry, sir! I can skip seeing die Phantome der Nacht and head home now! I can’t believe they would—” I sucked in a breath and bit my tongue before I said something I’d regret.
The Everfree was different from Canterlot. They had a right to worry if I wasn’t showing up. It wasn’t exactly worth siccing the Princess on poor Major Silent, but then again… there were a lot of things they shouldn’t do that they did for me.
“Orders are orders.” Major Silent shook his head. “The first letter told us to take you out there; the second only asked where you were.”
“Sir, no offense, but that’s complete guano. You know that wasn’t a real order.”
“No, it isn’t, but if your parents are going to lean into their connections like that—” His already hard face sharpened into a steel blade. “—then I’ll lean into the letter of the law. Orders are orders. Unless I’m ordered not to, you’re going, and to tartarus if it makes your parents worry more. They’ve gotten far too used to that cushy captain job.”
“Alright! I’m ready!” Moon Flower slipped back in before I or the major could continue. Her armor was light and sleek—the sort of suit that could be donned quickly and hastily. She looked between the scowling major and me with a far too fake smile on her face. “So, what were you two talking about?”
Her CO snorted and stood. “You know darn well what we were talking about. I’ll watch the corporal while you’re gone. Did you leave me any instructions?”
“Nope. Just dump a bottle of cloud nine down his throat if he starts complaining about pain and replace the bandages if I’m gone more than a day.” Her fake smile only grew as she snapped a salute. “The wound is treated as much as it can be, and it takes a few days for infection to set in. Can’t exactly prescribe stuff for a disease I don’t know is there.”
“Understood. I’ll leave you to it, then. You have your orders and know what needs to be done.” With a terse nod, Major Silent left the room.
“Ponyville is not a cushy position.” I immediately defended my parents as soon as I was sure he was out of earshot. “At least the Dawn Guard aren’t!”
“I know, dear. I know.” Moon Flower sighed and waved me to follow her up and out of the base. “Silent doesn’t ever leave the forest, though. He barely knows half of the foes Princess Twilight has fought, and those he does know of makes him think the Dawn Guard is nothing but another version of the Solar and Lunar Guard.”
Excuse me?!
“And what does he have against the Lunar Guard?” With a whinny, I reared up and stomped.
“To him, they’re the best of the best, and they left posts that needed them to stand in front of doors twenty-four seven.” My guide shrugged as we reached the edge of the garden surrounding the base and ducked into the trees.
“But I— He— That’s not—” My brain tumbled frantically at the thought. There was a horrible bitter irony to it—one so strong, I bit my tongue to replace it with the tang of blood.
“Now me? I think that’s loony. There’s nothing more important than protecting the princesses. They’re the whole reason Equestria is where it is.” Trudging onwards, Moon Flower was either completely unaware of the discord she was sowing, or far too aware for her own good. “I do get where he’s coming from, though. The last decade has really shown we aren’t nearly equipped enough to handle certain threats.”
She disappeared into the shadowy depths of a fallen tree as she continued chatting. I blindly followed in a daze; I don’t think she realized I was barely listening as word after word stabbed the knife deeper. “The Dawn Guard has been changing that, but… the Solar and Lunar Guard are still the same as far as I know. Might be better if our best of the best were still out and doing their jobs. I mean, can you imagine if we’d caught Tirek before he ever became a threat? Why was Discord allowed to hunt him down, but not the very guards meant to protect the princess? They had the know-how to track him and the strength to handle him—at least they did while he was an old geeze—”
Ack! No! Stop! No more! My brain is melting! Scree-ree-ree-ree-ree!
And yet she continued on.
Nope! Not listening! La-la-la-la-la! Time to… focus on all of my favorite things! Drown out all the blasphemy. Yeah! Focus on the cadence call.
At home I have a-waiting a flawless diamond ring!~
What once was coal now shines so bright, a star that makes me sing!~
On duty’s end and war’s reprieve, I’ll wear her night and day!~
But ‘til there’s peace eternal, I’ll chase Nightmares away!~
“Hold now!” Moon Flower’s order was enough to snap me from my daydreams. She moved ahead into some brush without me, leaving me there to stand and obey as she… scouted? Maybe?
I had been on autopilot, and I honestly couldn’t recognize where we were. The trees were different—less gloom and doom, more life and strife. Lots of vines, moss, mushrooms and more. Even the air was thicker, full of warm, sticky humidity.
Most ponies said the Everfree felt like it was out to eat them, but this…
Just looking around at the vines choking the trees and the mushrooms eating the vines… I got the strangest feeling that nothing was safe and everything was on the menu. It tickled a side of me I usually did my best to ignore—made me lick my lips as Moon Flower came back. My stomach was growling, and I was all too aware that plants weren’t gonna cut it for me.
“Uhhh… Moon Flower? I think something might be—”
“Catch!” She tossed me a juice box, and I bit into it like my life depended on it, schlurping away at the beets, bees, and savory, delicious blood. “Don’t worry about it. It’s normal in these parts. Just part of the ambient magic!”
“It feels like a completely different forest.” I grumbled as I looked around.
“It is? Kinda?” Moon Flower blinked in bemusement at me. “Weren’t you listening as we passed over the threshold.”
“Uhh…” I looked down, ears folding back. “I was singing a cadance call in my head. Sorry….”
“Oh, well… it’s better to show you at this point, really. There’s a really great waterfall near here!” She leapt into the brush again before I could even open my mouth.
Left to follow her, I did so at my own pace. She was easy to track, not even making an attempt to hide her tracks. The sight made me frown, but I decided it better not to question it as I had Corporal Digger’s silence.
She must have her reasons…
…probably.
I still had other questions, though, and those questions only got bigger and bigger as the rumbling of the waterfall came into earshot. Calling it loud was like saying the sun was peckish. The noise became deafening the closer we got, and my brow furrowed even as my ears folded back.
Whatever this waterfall might be, it was huge—big enough to force open a clearing in the forest from the sound of it. It was not just some little creek tumbling over some rocks, and that was strange since I’d seen maps of the Everfree and while a waterfall like that would be perfect as a land marker, there weren’t any super big waterfalls on the ones I’d seen.
“Hurry up, soldier! Moonlight’s waning!”
I hurried at Moon Flower’s call, not wanting any predators to hear. As I cleared the trees the noise came together and crashed against me hard enough that I fell back a step. To call it a clearing was an understatement. The trees had stopped not ten trots from a sheer cliff that split the forest like an elder wyrm had cleaved it in two. Follow the edge of it, and there was a river pouring off and into an enormous drop.
The sparkling lake at the bottom was not on any map I’d ever seen;it went on for miles and miles with more than a few islands. Far off in the distance I saw more trees, and yet, they were different than the ones I had come from. Multiple forests; multiple trees. In one spot, there were trees that were the shade of blood—leaves like fresh droplets, trunks more like dried and crusted. In another, there were bone white trees devoid of leaves that clawed at the sky.
For the Nightmother’s sake, the lake was full of a forest of kelp, algae, and mushrooms.
“Where… no, what?” I shook my head, far too confuzzled to make sense of it all. “How is this even possible?”
“Well… would you believe me if I said we aren’t in Equestria any more?” Moon Flower dropped beside me.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes; too many secrets were testing my patience. “Now, where the buck are we?”
“The Everfree isn’t just a forest. It’s the forest.” Gesturing out and around, she giggled. “Every dream… every imagining… every reality brought together…. What we see in Equestria is just one piece of a whole.”
“So the Everfree is an invader… from the Dreamlands?”
“No. It’s honestly more like a hostage. It’s one last curse from the Nightmare, ripped right from the Dreamlands to bury the old capital as she was banished.”
I blinked at the news before scowling. “And am I supposed to know this?”
“Does it matter?” Moon Flower’s sly smirk told me everything I needed to know. “Die Phantome der Nacht all live here. The instant Corporal Digger spilled that secret, he basically spilled this one.”
“No! No, he didn’t!” My voice scattered more than a few birds as it carried over the lake. “He said absolutely nothing about this! We wouldn’t be here if my Dad hadn’t—” I bit my lip before the heathenous words could be said aloud. “Why not just bring them to the station? I already know way too many secrets.”
“They haven’t set foot in Equestria since the war.” Moon Flower snorted as though that should be obvious. “When Luna died, they had nothing left but each other, and now…” She shook her head. “They have even more reason not to come back. A reunion would be far too painful.”
“What’s that supposed to—”
“Moonlight’s waning, soldier! Come on!” She didn’t let me finish, jumping off the cliff and over the lake. She banked in a circle, looking up and down the cliff before flying alongside it for a bit. Then, with a shrill screep, she folded her wings and dropped like a rock and shot into a cave further down.
I sighed at her flagrant disregard of discipline, but dutifully followed as ordered. Large, damp, and a welcome respite from the light outside, the entrance was perfect for brooding and staring out over the lake.
The cavern quickly widened into an incredibly large bowl that housed yet another enormous forest. This one was made of luminous mushrooms rooted in damp and bitter smelling pools. What parts of the ceiling weren’t blocked by the wide caps revealed countless stalactites constantly drizzling water to the point that it felt like I was getting rained on.
The path we followed was well traveled. It was hard to miss where to go when there was the occasional giant rock with an arrow and the words, ‘This way, lunkhead.’
What wasn’t clear was just how many thestrals were stalking us. Echoing screes were accompanied by jumping shadows and glinting eyes; it felt like an army. When a single, monstrous mare dropped down to land without a sound, the rest of the forest went silent and still.
“You brought company, Moon Flower. Silent didn’t tell us about any new recruits on the horizon.”
“She’s a recruit in the works—a promising one.” Moon Flower’s praise made me blush and fold my ears. “Silent’s giving her a little treat in meeting you.”
“Is that so?” The mountain of a mare looked down at me and for the first time in years I felt small. She was a shaggy beast with a coat that melted into flowing shadows where her mane, tail, and fetlocks should be. Even her eyebrows wavered slightly, though they didn’t drip with darkness the way everything else did.
“It’s… more that I found out about you accidentally, and my Dad weaseled the Princess into letting me visit.” I looked down, unable to bear the weight.
“Oh!” Was she smiling? It was hard to tell with her voice. It was very deep for a mare’s. Maybe that was a side effect of the spells. “Moon Flower! You didn’t tell us that Luna had finally taken another! Huzzah!”
Her voice blasted through the woods and echoed back loudly. There were others who called out huzzah in kind, but each cry bled into the next until my head was spinning from the sheer energy packed within their shouts. The cave may have quaked. I wasn’t sure, but I did see a nearby pebble jitter from the force.
“Wrong princess, Meridian.” Moon Flower kept on and past the massive wall like she wasn’t there. I only dared to follow on seeing her succeed. “I do hear rumors from time to time, but… no. Both her parents are captains of the Dawn Guard.”
“Ah, my mistake, but you can’t blame me for hoping, Moon Flower.” Meridian turned to bare her fangs in a very pointy smile. “’Tis a fine calling to serve that one. Princess… Dusk Shine, was it? She saw the signs unlike a certain Princess.”
As her mostly smooth and husky voice crunched like gravel, I made a note not to mention Princess Celestia by name.
“Meridian…” Moon Flower, on the other hoof, was either very brave or very foolish. “We’ve talked about this.”
“You are not the first, and you will not be the last. The rest of you may forgive her, but I refuse to touch a land defiled by that witch’s sun.”
Wow. That growl was at least as deep as Dad’s.
“Are you sure it’s not for other reasons?” Moon Flower smiled with so much mischief it triggered my flight or fight instincts.
Time to change the subject!
“The rumors were true!” It was the first thing I thought to blurt out, and probably the worst given I was suddenly the focus of Meridian’s hungry gaze. “Ummm… Princess Luna may have had a crush on Dad when she got back. He told her no…. Mom’s a day dweller, you know? He wanted to keep things simple.”
Oh star’s the fury burning in those eyes.
I scrambled to try and quench it. “But she makes a great aunt! She took me and a few others under her wing. I don’t actually know that she wants somepony like that at this point.”
“And how could you possibly know that? You presume much, little knave.” The fire in Meridian’s eyes was only matched by the sparks flying off of Moon Flower as she gestured for me to shut the buck up.
“Because…” Welp, I’d dug my grave. Might as well lie in it and die of embarrasment. “…I was asking her for advice right before I came here? I wanted to know how she balanced duty and love.” Meridian’s stony scowl twitched, but I dared not show any more weakness before the storm. “It’s not my place to share what she told me, but—”
“Enough.” The fury in Meridian’s eyes died as she stomped and snorted. Her voice carried the weight of a thousand years. “I can already imagine what she told you. Come along, then. You are welcome here. If Luna sees you as her own, we would be foals not to accept you.”
Okay? That was weird.
Meridian screeched into the darkness. Head cocked, she waited for several screeches to come back in response, then turned to Moon Flower who was staring at me slack jawed. “You too, Moon Flower.”
Not that much farther in, we entered a large clearing beneath the mother of all mushrooms. Scaffolding dangled a massive house from the cap, and beneath it was one of the driest spots in the cave. A channel had been carved to bring water to the mushroom itself, while a short wall about as tall as my shin kept all the other puddles from trickling in.
Several fires crackled and burned in the clearing, and the smell of meat was strong. Two thestrals as large and monstrous as Meridian went around turning spits and roasting creatures I had never seen; the other ten were seated at a table fit for a feast hall and digging into enough food to feed a village.
“Look everypony! Our great and glorious Luna has given us a niece to coddle!”
I had a moment to process the words. Another to stare at Meridian in utter bemusement. After that, I was buried in shadows as the Die Phantome der Nacht all cheered and stampeded towards me.
Names were exchanged, not that I could remember them all with my batty brain fried and on the fritz. The dots were starting to connect—the constellations were forming before me.
Luna had said the herd she’d had before falling to Nightmare Moon had been her most devoted.
Of course, they would have followed her into damnation.
“Why?” It was the first word able to crawl its way out of my muddled mind, and it made the otherwise cheering and boisterous nightmares surrounding me pause to look down in confusion and concern.
“Why are you here alone and not out there with Princess Luna?! She’s been dead and gone for a thousand years, and now that she’s back you’re just… sitting in here? What the buck is wrong with you?!”
There were murmurs among die Phantome der Nacht and several nods were exchanged with a few splitting off while the others nudged me back to their table and the feast upon it. They sat me down, and a plate piled high with savory food was set before me. The shimmering glaze bubbled and popped as the delicious smell of meat wafted from the plate, but my stomach was far too busy rolling to be tempted.
“’Tis… a long and complicated answer you seek.” Meridian was next to me, and while Moon Flower was clearly trying to take the spot on my other side, Meridian’s shadow was aggressively herding the specialist to the far end of the table. “Far too long and complicated for us to rattle off every reason.”
“’Tis an argument that repeatedly rears its head.” A stallion across from me gave a huff. “But all of us agree on one thing.”
“Aye.” Meridian nods. “We followed her into damnation willingly. To see us as we are now would only cause her heart discord and strife. We are what the Nightmare made us—twisted mockeries of our former selves. Monsters; living weapons; things that feed on ponies and creep in the night. We are everything we once fought with her. Far better she think us dead.”
“For now, at least.” The stallion from across growled. “Some say we should hide with our tails between our legs forever. I, for one, simply wish her to find somepony else first. We are unworthy of her now. We are failures….”
“It is not hiding.” A third snorted and tore into their meal chewing with visible anger. “It is spite. Spite for the cursed sun and spite for the blood of the Nightmare flowing through our veins. At least here we can eat real food.” He waved his leg of something-or-other at me. “Imagine nothing but constant gnawing hunger and the taste of nothing but sunblasted ash. To exist outside of this realm is to suffer for us—quite literally.”
“You could still visit her for a day. Hay, if this is part of the Dreamlands, she could visit you here.” I crossed my forelegs and pouted. “Are you sure it would be so bad?”
“Uhhh… Nightingale?” Moon Flower finally gave up fighting Meridian’s shadow to reach me, instead sitting in her assigned seat and looking down the table at me. She panted and gulped for air, her stamina spent from her efforts. “Just so you know. Standing orders for anypony that knows is that if Princess Luna asks, you tell her. Beyond that, die Phantome der Nacht gave up everything in one last attempt to dispel the lies of the Nightmare. We keep them secret only because they wish to be.”
“We cannot physically die, but we may as well be dead.” With a solemn nod, Meridian sighed. “We died the moment the Nightmare took us. This is our final wish.”
“Fine…. I still think she would like seeing you, though.” I started poking at the food before me, reluctant to eat as I brooded.
“Give her time to move on and recover.” The stallion across from me growled. “Even if none of the others leave, I plan on doing so. It is only a matter of time.”
I looked the hulking goliath over, and within his stoney features, I saw something. The spark of recognition lit, and stories from long ago flittered and played in my mind. It had been a few years, but I could remember one Einbruch der Dunkelheit and the stallion leading the dirge. Cloaked in ancient armor, his words had echoed harshly in the cavernous tomb.
“‘’Twas better to fall beside you, old friend, than to see you waste away on the moon.’” Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let it out. “General Dusk Fang? Is that you?”
“Mmmm…” The large stallion closed his eyes and hummed. “Haven’t heard those words in a long time. Yes, I am he, little one.”
Huh… ok. Really wish I’d paid more attention to the names now. Just the thought of asking the rest made my insides squirm and flutter with all the worst sorts of butterflies.
I distracted myself by finally biting into the food and Nightmother above, it really was the stuff of dreams. The juices sung on my tongue as the tender bug bits fell apart; whatever enormous cricket it came from clearly missed neither meals nor leg day.
A plate or two helped ease me in as I watched the heroes of an age gone by chat and drink and joke. Even as demigods, they were just like any other pony. I should have known after seeing so much of Princess Luna.
“So… how serious were you earlier, Meridian?” I licked my lips and drank a bit of honeyed mead to buy myself a second when she looked at me.
“How serious was I about what, dearest niece?”
“Uhh… that? The whole niece thing? I could kinda use some advice on something, but it also seems… disrespectful to bother ponies as great as die Phantome der Nacht with it.” Well, that and she had been super pissed about Dad not saying yes to Princess Luna.
“Bah! I would not have said it were it not true! We have had many years here to lament the things lost to us. Family and the chance at foals were but one sacrifice we made.” Smiling down at me, her fangs gleamed. “If Luna sees you as a niece, who are we to deny that? Please! Ask away!”
“Well… umm…” I sputtered and squirmed as more than a few of the chatting thestrals stopped chatting to eye us both. “It’s just that… I have a marefriend who isn’t going Guard. How do I balance my duty to defend with all my heart with my duty to the one who inspires me to do just that? When I asked Princess Luna, she mentioned all of you, so… I guess I’m hoping you might have an answer for me?”
There were more than a few chuckles and groans. A few thestrals looked down and away, falling into a deep brooding over my question. Those that didn’t smiled wistfully and shook their heads.
“Ahhhh…” Meridian was among those chuckling. “Going right for the throat, are we?”
“I’m sorry….” I tried to look down, ears splaying.
Meridian had other ideas. “It is a good question, young Night. Many a fight and tumble has been had over that since our self-made exile. Would Luna still have fallen if we had remained closer? Would she have pushed us away? We have spent centuries brooding over it.” She nods at her sulking companions. “Some of us still do.”
“Do you?”
“Aye, sometimes. It’s hard not to lately. Our precious Princess of the Night is back from the dead, after all. Doesn’t change that we failed her, but it leaves a yearning for something we can never have again.”
“I still don’t get why you all think that.” Looking up at the massive mushroom above us, I frowned.
Meridian hummed before taking a long swish of mead. “Well, put yourself in our shadow, hrmm? If your beloved tried to end things between you two, would you respect her wishes?”
“That’s different!” My frown turned into a full on scowl as I banged the table with a hoof. “She wouldn’t…”
“Whether she would or wouldn’t, is neither here nor there.” She snorted. “The point is if she ended things, an honorable soldier such as yourself would respect that, yes? Those of us here have had a thousand years to come to terms with the choices we all made, young Nightingale. To try and remake what we once had with Luna would be to spit and defile what memories remain.”
“Aye. Relationships are living, breathing things, little one.” General Dusk pulled a book from the void, and when he opened it, it was full of detailed sketches of him and Princess Luna. “When they die, it is best to leave them be. Respect the dead, and they will respect you.”
“Well said.” Meridian nodded to her comrade. “Bring the dead back and they are never the same. You may stay friends, you may drift apart, but whatever you had will never be within reach again. It makes fighting for love while it lasts all the more important.”
“Huh…” Looking down at the table, my brow furrowed. I could see little more than the wood grain as my brain sputtered and smoked. “Do you regret being out there? Being heroes? Leading the troops?”
“Never.” General Dusk growled before Meridian could even open her mouth. “I would still be out there if I could. The day I leave exile is the day I go to kneel and serve Luna once more.” There was the sound of bending metal as he twisted the handle of his stein. “My only regret is not being what she needed.”
Meridian hissed something under her breath as she shook her head. “I was needed, and I answered the call. If anything, my regret is not having Luna there to see all those thankful for being saved. Bandit attacks, timber wolves, and manticores… whatever needed to be done. The capital had long been safe and complacent. Those sunblasted nobles were nothing next to the common ponies thankful for true sleep and peace of mind.”
“That… just gives me more questions.” I rubbed my temples, grumbling.
“Everypony here has a different answer.” Meridian gestured around the table again, her hoof stopping at Moon Flower who was in the middle of stuffing her face. “Even her. The number of times Moon Flower has tried to make us leave our sanctum. She is incorrigible.”
“Mrgmrmfff!” Moon Flower all but choked on her food as she swallowed, gasping for air and pounding her chest a few times. “Excuse me?! It’s the other way around! You all need to stop being so stubborn and just go see the princess already! She’ll be happy to have you as friends, if nothing else!”
“See?” One word was all Meridian deigned to respond with, and she said it to me—not Moon Flower. “She thinks it is that easy. ’Twould have led the charge myself if it were.”
“Ummm…” Easy was understating it for sure, but nothing in life worth fighting for is easy. “I guess what you’re saying makes sense… sorta….”
“You are allowed to disagree.” General Dusk Fang beat Meridian to the punch as she opened her mouth.
She was quick to nod, however. “Aye. No pony in our herd can quite agree on what we should do. Not on when; not on how; not on if. Can hardly judge you for having your own thoughts.”
“It just seems weird that you would give up on her now when you choose this—” I gestured at her wavering, shadow-infused coat. “—a thousand years ago.”
“A thousand years is a long time to grieve, mourn, and move on.” Meridian sighed and drank until she hit the bottom of her cup. When the pitcher was empty too, she started twirling her hoof in a circle. I watched in wonder as dream stuff gathered and started to refill the pitcher with mead.
It was one thing to be told the forest was a dream, another to see it.
Meridian immediately downed an entire cup on finishing with her refills. “’Tis why I was so hopeful when Moon Flower mentioned your father. I plan on staying here for as long as the cursed sun still rises and sets. I cannot fathom forgiving that guano-guzzling sun witch for what she did, and if I cannot forgive her?”
With a grimace, she took three more straight down the hatch as she brooded. “I too did not see the signs. An eternity forgotten will be my penance.”
“I’m pretty sure Princess Luna will forgive you.” I could see the weight of her sins on her as she sat—no longer tall and proud but hunched. “She looked like she missed you when we were talking earlier.”
“That’s exactly the problem.” General Dusk Fang leaned back in his seat with a groan. Looking off and into the distance, his eyes glazed over with memory. “Meridian doesn’t want to be forgiven. Neither do I. But we know Luna; she would do it in a heartbeat. She was… always eager to please those she let close. Did she spoil you? Give you everything you could possibly want?”
Ohhhh… Now I could see it.
“She tried.” I sighed. “Better question would be what didn’t she give? Led to more than a few fights with my parents.” Looking down, I muttered at the table as I weighed confessing myself. “More than a few fights with me too, actually. Once I was old enough, it started to get real annoying real fast.”
“Hah!” He slapped the table. “I know that look. My son had that exact same face when she tried to slip him in her honor guard right out of training.”
“I just want to prove myself! Is that such a big deal?!” It was my turn to slump and rest my head on the table.
“Two for two.” He chuckled. “You sure we aren’t related?”
“I never saw it on the family tree.” I grumbled. “Then again, I rarely ever got to look at the genealogy records. Grandpa locks them up most of the time. He says it’s ‘bad practice’ to look.”
General Dusk shook his head, frowning as he loaded another plate. “He’d be right. Blood doesn’t matter nearly as much as action. I’ve heard so many stories of old friend’s families turning into husks of their former glories. Bludknállers who suckle upon the stories sung of heroes long dead and gone. Knaves carving their own names in history without ever having earned it.”
Taking a big bite of the juiciest haunch of mandraboara I had ever seen, he grunted and shook his head. “Your question still stands, however. You need advice, yes? At the end of the day, the biggest lesson you can learn from our failures is that we let our duties come first, and Luna suffered as a result. If you’re hoping for some other side to her story, there is none, and not a night goes by where we don’t brood on that.”
“Great…” With a groan, I closed myself off, ears splayed back and eyes closed. Despite that, I could still hear his voice as his rumbling shook my very bones.
“There is no shame in serving closer to home, though. Not every hero need slay monsters in the night.”
The trip back through the forest was quiet. Water dripped from the heavens, leftovers from a wild storm. The earth was damp, and my hooves sunk heavily into the dirt as I trudged through the early morning with Moon Flower.
Meridian and Dusk Fang had flown us to a threshold that was much closer to the edge of the forest—not quite in the castle of the two sisters, but deep in a nearby ravine. I was bizarrely awake and energized for not having slept, but Moon Flower said that was normal after staying in the Dreamlands for a few hours.
Sleep would have been more welcome, though. In the solemn silence, I was left to brood from all the advice of my latest aunts and uncles.
Moon Flower barely talked. Having read the mood, she was now being far more silent, and I hated not knowing if that was better or worse.
The dim, dank air was cold against my coat, and with the edge of the forest on the horizon, I could see that we had made it before moonset. The sky was not-quite-white with the approach of dawn, and while I knew I should grab something from my bag to shield my eyes, I couldn’t really bring myself to care about it.
My thoughts whirled, and I had the weight of the world on my back as we cleared the trees. It was only natural to look up to see if I could find at least one star to guide me—even if doing so was a fatal mistake.
“There she is! Night!”
Not even three seconds free of the woods and I was glomped, tumbling down into the dirt. I instinctually wrapped my wings around Diamond to shield her from the dirt as we rolled, eventually settling to look up into her angry, glittering eyes.
“You almost missed your party.”
“Errr… what?”
“Don’t play dumb! I told you I was gonna get Pinkie to throw you a Nightmare Night party since you missed out!” Her hooves pressed down on my chest as she lifted her nose high to the sky. “How dare you go missing for days? I’m going to have to punish you for this; I demand a photo of us kissing in costume.”
“Last I checked, my parents are the ones who get to punish me.” A small smile cracked my otherwise gloomy face.
“That’s what you think~ Your dad gave me permission to do whatever I want with you~” Her eyes still glimmered with solfire as she poked my chest, but now they were as warm and merry as they were sparking with anger.
“Is she joking?” I groaned as Diamond tittered, dreading the answer even more. My words were aimed at Silver as she and the others converged on us, however.
“Well, considering we’re out here on patrol with badges?” Silver pulled out and waggled a deputy badge at me before tossing it at me. “No, it’s not a joke. We are the law.”
“Nightmother help me…. I hope he gave you the castle souvenirs and not actual badges.” My shadow snatched the bit of metal up, but I was a bit too distracted by a certain dazzling marefriend to notice. “Can you get off me, Diamond? I know it’s in your name, but I’m not exactly looking for an accessory to wear right now.”
“Yeah, well maybe I wanna be worn~”
I blinked a bit at her raging blush, waiting for her to squeak and melt off. “You have far too much tact and decency for that, princess.”
“Ughhhh… I can’t believe I said that.” Now slumped and wavering like she was gonna faint at any moment, Diamond couldn’t quite be the puddle of mope she wanted to be with all the fresh mud.
“On the bright side, nobody but the girls heard it.” I scowled at the others as they snickered and did their best not to explode. “They’re smart enough to know that if they give you any guano over that I will eat them.”
“Great, so that means you’re open to a threeway?” Silver was deadpan as ever, her eyes soulless and cold.
“Buck off, Silver. It’s been a long night. You aren’t gonna get me to squirm.” With a growl, I flicked my wings at her, splattering her with grime.
“You okay to go from here?” Moon Flower studied the forest as she stood between us and it. “I can escort you if need be.”
“No need, ma’am.” I gave her a nod and a tired smile. “These girls have been sneaking into those woods since before I moved to Ponyville.”
“Hey!” Diamond sniffed. “Don’t lump me in with those three!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo snickered. “We’re way cooler than Diamond!”
“Girls.” A single frown was all it took to get them in line after years of training. Not that Scoots could manage for more than five seconds. “See?”
With a soft laugh, Moon Flower shook her head. “How can I argue with that?” She turned to head back into the Everfree, leaving just me and the girls.
Sweetie Belle’s mane was a mess as she yawned and mumbled something about missing beauty sleep. Apple Bloom was all but propping her up as the sleepy soldier wavered on her hooves.
Rolling my eyes at the sight, I reached out to tussle the sleepy Squeakie Belle’s mane just to listen to her screep. “You know you guys didn’t all have to come, right? For all you knew, I was flying back.”
Apple Bloom snorted. “I was gonna say no until Sweetie bit off more than she could chew. Dunno why she volunteered. Yer a grown mare.”
My jaw cracked as the infection spread, and I reached up to crack my neck, shuddering at the feeling of release. “Well, I appreciate the support, but can you get her home, Bloom? She clearly needs it.”
“Can do.” She nodded lazily before turning to lead the dozing Sweetie away. “Come on, Chicken Butt. Help me out, would you?”
“What?! Why me?!” Scoots squawked.
“One less pony gives Night more private time with Diamond, duh.”
“Eh, screw that. You’re an earth pony. You can cart Sweetie around all on your own.” She grinned like a loon under moon before hopping into the air and flying off. “You want me gone?! Fine! I’ll just go wake Rumble!”
“Cowards, every one of you.” Silver sighed and waved at us. “Fine. If nopony else is going to stay and get their money's worth, I suppose I can leave you two be. No point in wasting my best ammo when I’ve got no crowd.”
“You can always roast us another time.” Diamond giggled and ran to hug Silver before she got too far. “There will be plenty of ponies at the party!”
“True…. Try to get her ready for me, will you? It’s so much better when she squirms.”
“You know, you could always not embarrass me in front of everypony.” I squinted at her as she chuckled. “That is an option.”
“No, no…. Perhaps if you hadn’t told me to buck off, but you threw the gauntlet; we’re playing the game.” Silver gently separated herself from Diamond, smirking at me. “It’s about to be your move, by the by.” Turning to look at Diamond, she leaned in to whisper something that made Diamond light up.
“See you two at the party.” Silver gave a dainty wave that was far more threatening than it had any right to be.
“Errr… don’t take this the wrong way, Diamond, but you look hungry as the sun itself.”
My marefriend’s titters sent shivers up my spine. “You. Me. Bath. Now.”
“Wha…? Diamond, be serious, please.”
“Teeheehee! I am serious—more serious than I’ve ever been in my life. You know you need one.”
“Yeah, but sharing one? With you? There’s no way I’m risking my dad catching wind of that.”
“Silly! I can’t do clouds! We’re doing it at my place!” Diamond’s hips swayed as she advanced on me to press close.
“What?! Diamond! That’s even worse!”
“Daddy is hardly that crude, Night. I have my own bathroom for a reason.” Fluttering her lashes, she wrapped her tail in mine and pouted up. “We’ll have the privacy to do whatever we want.”
“I don’t know if that’s any better.” Stars, it was hard to keep saying no. Trying to pull away just made her wrap tighter around me. The dirt and mud were getting all over her.
“Too bad.” She leaned up to nibble at my ear and my whole body tensed. “It’s your fault I’m such a mess. The least you can do is clean me up~”
Check and Mate. Damn it, Diamond.
“Fine, but no funny business.” The way she tittered at my demands was not encouraging for my morale or my morals.
Or maybe it was too encouraging. Either way I could feel my pounding heart ready to give.
