Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Wonderbolts Academy
Dear Princess Celestia,
So Rainbow's flying actually got unshitty enough to get accepted into the Wonderbolts Academy. But I'm starting to get the feeling that her orgy with all those Pinkie clones actually contained the original Pinkie, because she really started to miss Rainbow Dash, and fast. She just stood at the mailbox and pressed F5 over and over again. Hey Pinkie, here's an idea; how about you actually, oh, I don't know, WAIT FOR THE MAILPONY?
She continued wasting away, and we finally had to intervene, and suggest that she send Rainbow a letter first. She went one step further and suggested sending her a care package through the mail. That would be tricky without being able to confirm that she had gotten five kills in a row, so we decided to deliver it personally. Good thing, because Derpy Mail has been slipping lately. Approximately 98% of their mail is delivered in perfect condition, and they only advertised 80%. I'd rather have 80% than 98%, it's more exciting that way. Real risk when you send somepony something! Last but not least, it was an opportunity to get out of Ponyville. We seriously need more excuses to get away.
Come to think of it, let's take “fly a hot air balloon into a tornado” off that list of excuses. No sooner than we cleared the cloud cover did a twister come and flung us around and snapped our balloon in half. And I only had two payments left! With some admittedly quick skillful maneuvering, Rainbow formed a bed of clouds for us to land on. Did she keep us on the clouds? Nope. Turned it into a trampoline and sent us flying back up to be caught by the cadets. I'm pretty sure Thunderlane is getting some tonight. Lucky bastard.
So after Rainbow miraculously remembers us over the course of three days, she confronts her partner and quits training due to Lightning Dust's recklessness. She packs her things and gets ready to leave. As we gather at the end of the runway, Spitfire chases down Rainbow Dash, chastising her for walking out. I figured she was here to confiscate her uniform and goggles before leaving. I doubt they were handed out for free. Instead, she commends Rainbow on being so forward, and promotes her to Lead Pony. So she drops her bags and does laps with the others, leaving the rest of us stranded up here.
Yeah, that's right. Last I checked, we're on a floating island in the sky, our hot air balloon was demolished, and four of us can't fly. That's the last time we ever come to check up on you, lezbitch.
Isn't there some kind of shrine around here with a fucking huge green gem we could guard or something? Maybe if we remove it, this place will go back down to the ground.
Your jewel-stealing former student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Oh I get it. Promise to take me under your wing, and then take off for Wonderbolts training. I see how it is.
I'll just stay here and entertain myself in this dark, drafty orphanage.
Sincerely,
Scootaloo
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The Scootaloo letter at the end there killed me.....it got me right in them feels.
Oh Knuckles is gonna have a fun time with you Twi...
I see what you did there Nice! Here, have a Derpy
Last line of Twilight's letter, is that a Zelda reference?
Yeah... always did find it hilarious how Rainbow Dash ditched the poor kid one episode after the fact Total BSBFF material right there, emphasis on the BS.
2150707 No. If it is, it is yet another in a surprisingly long string of unintentional references.
Nice touch with the Scoots bit, I laughed... then felt guilty
2150707 What, you mean about the floating island falling out of the sky? I assume you mean Skyward Sword, but it's actually Sonic the Hedgehog.
I thought it might be a Final Fantasy V reference. ..or a Dragon Quest V reference. ...or maybe Japan just reuses a lot of ideas.
Twilight's letter was hilarious.
Scootaloo's letter tore my heart out and filled the gap with cement...for laughs.
First it was funny and then it got sad...
I was thinking Castle in the Sky for some reason.
Also, that Scoots letter...
Was wondering if anyone was gonna approach that, Rainbow Dash promised to take Scootaloo under her wings then next episode she's off to Wonderbolt's training. Poor Scootaloo Still funny letters as always.
2150689 me too
2150702
Telekinesis would have made Sonic 3 so much easier.
Also, Twilight would probably make Knuckles distinctly uncomfortable. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
Well okay then.
Instead of laughing at the end I was crying, however every moment before that I was laughing my ass off!
The training was a week, Scoots can live a week without RD. Or she could just spam F5 Pinkie Pie style.
Is it bad if I kept a straight face through Twilight's but then laughed at Scootaloo's letter? Probably.
It dosn't top Rainbow's letter at the end of too many pinkie pies. "FUN!"
No mention of Fluttershy forgetting she's a pegasus?
2150707 Acutally, I thought it was refrencing the Master Emerald....
Remember, three golden triangles: Colony Drop on the scaly bitch.
Green Emerald, absolutley no damage to the shore via tsunami.
Hehe...she didn't get five kills.
I need to get out more. When I read "Five kills" I thought of the requirements to be an Ace pilot instead of Call Of Duty.
2150707
I think its Sonic the Hedgehog. The Master Emerald on Angel Island?
Sonic Adventure 1
Don't care. Laughed all the way through. Especially the Scootaloo letter.
Call me a heartless bastard, but that shit is funny.
2151024 Died at "Last time I ever we ever come to check on you, lezbitch"
What a strange conveinience meeting you here~
2151107 She didn't forget, she's just not a good flier.
And definitely can't carry each of those ponies back down all by herself. Her daily exercise is petting a bunny.
2151484 Feel the burn!
Every time I finish reading an update, I automatically move towards the "Like" button. Then with more than a little disappointment, I remember that I already gave it a thumbs-up.
Ah this was a good one.
Me thinks someone is trying to hurry through season 3 though.
Poor Scoots... And people wonder why I don't like Rainbow Dash.
There we go! Just as I'd hoped. Poor Scootaloo...
And yeah, how did they get off that mesa, anyway?
2151505 I point you to my latest blog entry.
On a side note, where exactly comes the idea that the island is flying from? thought it was just top of a mountain.
Or was that just for the sake of joke?
5 kills is Killing Spree.
2151697 I got the impression that it was a floating mesa.
Dude, don't do the finale until season 4 comes out. It wouldn't be good to rush in without knowing the rest of the story arc.
2151729
After rechicking the episode, its not.
There are some cloudbuildings, but the main piece with the landing strip is solid rock, and in the shots from further away, like right when we fist see it (ca. 2.28-2.30), it can be seen that it goes not only far down but gets broader further down, aka a mountaintop.
Wiki says mountain too... not that the wiki has any other sources.
well its not like the big green gem is well guarded
2151746 Sorry. There is no way I am waiting 7-9 months to do the S3 finale of Letters. I'll wing the rest of it when S4 comes out. That's how the best material gets written in this story.
Scootaloo's bit at the end is what sold me .
Liquid pride/shame was shed.
A Sonic the Hedgehog reference... my god...
If you make a Mega Man reference anywhere, you will have officially made every single reference I can think of. You are a god.
FYI, that is your challenge as placed by me. A Mega Man reference in the future. If you can, I will officially love you, which is saying a lot cause I already do.
You!!!!
Unrelated note- you ever think of writing a sonic/mlp crossover?
Sonuva bitch, and I thought my friend and I were the only ones who thought of that. Now the fact that I even know that is going to haunt me for another 3 weeks. Thanks, Miles.
I lost it at Scootaloo.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/362/a/7/joo_take_mah_emmerrowds___by_blizzardos-d5pgap1.png
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I'm glad you enjoy spending time with your friends so much
Your friend-appreciating former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: There was a jewel there. It was guarded by an echidna. I *ahem* sent him on vacation... to see the moon
Dear Scootaloo:
I'm happy to see you have a big sister figure now!
Your ever-present monarch, Princess Celestia.