Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
Dear Star Swirl The Bearded,
You're out of limbo and you never thought of meeting up? Wasn't our friendship worth anything? So much for learning more about friendship.
Your very old friend,
Scorpan
Dear Rarity,
Quit trying to use my school as a means to expand your business.
You and I both know why you actually bought all those sewing machines for the students.
Honestly, you spent too much time with Flim and Flam in Friendship U.
Signed,
Headmistress Twilight
Dear Twilight,
If you can try to expand your harem, I can try to expand my business. Fuck off.
Sincerely,
Rarity
Head of Sweatshop 101
Dear Twilight and Rarity,
And yet we aren't allowed to expand our resort.
Hypocritical bitches.
-Headmasters Flim and Flam
Dear Flim and Flam,
Here's the perfect song to describe your so-called University.
At Friendship U, they teach to you
The many ways to get screwed
So you'd better scram
Before you get scammed
Stands at number two, full of shit
As it's run by two nitwits
See their class?
Full of ass
So learn it all in half the time
But be ready to lose your dimes
Even the school's title rings true
Cause in the end it'll F.U!!!
-Twilight Sparkle
Dear Twilight,
Why do you even keep those postcards? I thought you hated his guts after he acted like a complete asshole to you.
Confused,
Rarity
Dear Rarity,
Cause his postcards show me places I can daydream I'm at rather than this Celestia-forsaken town.
Your headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle
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I haven't read a chapter yet but: Goddamn, you did every episode. Now that's dedication!
9586678
Over the past seven years.
Hope you enjoy.
If you're easily offended, turn back now. Only fair warning you're getting.
If you're cool with that, enjoy, and thanks for reading.
I hear some ponies like donkeys. Don't you dare kinkshame.
love the last pic.
Dear Star Swirl,
Oh, and I haven't forgotten about all the money you borrowed. Pay up, with interest.
- Scorpan
Dear Rarity,
You're one to talk, you gave an entire swath of fabric to Suri Polomare the second she asked, and then acted surprised when she took off and stole your whole line. And let's not forget Sassy Saddles.
Sincerely,
Twilight.
Dear Eyepatch,
You are one of the most beautiful ponies I have ever seen. Sort of like Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, but somehow... more. I would like, on Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's behalf, to invite you to join her stable. She has no idea I am asking you this, but I am sure she will agree that you would stand to be the shining diamond of the harem.
Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave proactive harem builder,
Neko Majin C.
Post Script: Now if only I knew how to get this letter to you without Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's knowledge or help...
~KBO.
9587654
What postcards?
9601064
Ta, pet. It's always good for a giggle, that.