Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Nationwide walkouts at schools across the country to demand action concerning party cannon control on the one-month-anniversary. Not only are reports coming in of some schools forcing students to walk out for seventeen minutes or more, but the entire movement is being marred by a counter-protest, Walk Up Not Out.
This editor tends to agree; walking out like this accomplishes nothing. I myself snuck down to the basement of the school to write this instead of marching up and down the street. We don't need a New Lunar Republic solution. We don't need a Solar Empire solution. We need an Equestrian solution.
Instead of walking out whenever something like this happens, we need to walk up to students getting bullied. We need to dragon-mail our princesses, telling them to put money back into mental health facilities, because that's where the problems start; we need to find out what makes these ponies want to go out and party.
You hear me, Princess Twilight? Put those bits into the Ponyville Insane Asylum and stop with that... "Cryptic Currency Mining" or whatever the fuck you call that mineshaft down the road from the castle. Nopony other than you is going to want to invest in Bitchcoin.
That's where it starts, students of Equestria. Because if you can be moved enough to walk out for party cannon control, but not enough to walk up to the weird colt or filly getting harassed, then this walkout is nothing more than feel-good worthless bullshit, and you're nothing but a politically correct asshat. This editor isn't blaming the victims, but she's sure as Tartarus calling them the fuck out for doing nothing more than patting themselves on the back.
With only two chapters to go, that's what I call inspiration at 12:30 am after passing out for four hours after cooking a hearty dinner with your husband.
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Bitchcoin needs to be a thing.
Edit: ...it actually is. Google it lol.
Damn straight!
Someone actually using their head and addressing the problem and not blaming the tool! FINALLY!!!
To whom it may concern at the Foal Free Press,
You make a very good point. It is never the super popular jock who brings the party cannons to school. It is always the poor foal whom the popular jock relentlessly bullies who does. And they do not bring party cannons to school just because of the jock's actions, they do so because of the lack of intervention from the other students. Those who do not stop the bully from bullying are almost as at fault for the bully's actions as the bully.
Stay away from that mine outside the castle. It is filled with Diamond Dogs, Shadow Bolts, purple goo, and barrels filled with said purple goo. There are certainly not any Bits or Element Shards just floating around waiting to be collected.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and major miner,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
8797796 I totally agree too.
8797254
Until Disney buys Hasbro and puts it right back. 😈
8798199
Or until Hasbro buys Disney you mean? XD
Hmm, if I didn't know any better, I'd say the author doesn't like gun control.
8798989
I believe we can have something better than the laws we've got now.
And I also believe in calling out fascism masquerading as liberalism.
8799128 Students demanding to be able to go to school without becoming targets in a twisted Hogan's Alley is "fascism masquerading as liberalism"? No. No it isn't. This is just another blatant attempt to redirect attention away from how the USA is swimming in an ocean of easy-to-obtain murder toys. And it is also, despite your denial, a clear attempt to blame the victims, insisting school kids are at least indirectly responsible for being murdered in their classrooms.
8799179
Like I said, I believe there are ways of improving our current gun laws.
People demanding outright disarmament are delusional, however.
8799253
Agreed
8799179
Yes, yes it it, but you know why they're so easy to obtain? Because THERE'S A FK TON ON THE BLACK MARKET, THAT'S WHY!!!
95-99% of all murders and shooting done in this country are done with ILLEGALLY OBTAINED FIREARMS and passing laws that effect ONLY legal gun owners who only use our guns for hunting and at shooting ranges and just as collector items isn't going to do jack about the problem.
And if you want to point out that these kids who've committed these mass shootings got their guns from relatives, I can also point out that they took the guns and ammo out of storage without permission, aka, stole, aka, illegally obtained them, which circles back to how most shootings are done with illegal firearms.
Then we should pass laws for stricter gun control if it's so easy for the kids to get a hold of them! I hear you saying. THERE IS! Guns are at all times, except for legal use by their owners, supposed to be stored under lock and key with ammo in a separate location under a different lock and key. If a responsible gun owner does that, then these shooting wouldn't happen.
You can pass all the laws you want but if people don't follow them then making more is just spitting in the wind. Work on the illegal guns on the street first (by the way, where's all the outrage at all the gang shootings that happen? Are they fine? Are they normal? How about the five-year-old that takes a stray from those gunfight? Where's her memorial on the 5 'o' clock news?) and then focus on the legal gun owners who aren't doing what their supposed to do.
You know, as a person whose proven to have above average intelligence, there's so many times where I wanna punch Twilight in the face so HARD. She may be an 'Intellectual' but her lack Emotional intelligence and inability to recognize she's an ungrateful B without a sense of Empathy rubs me off so FURIOUSLY!!
And yet I still like to read it Funny as heck. I'll never see Twilight emojis the same way again though
8805900
Oh, cool. Could you direct me to the nearest black market? I can't seem to find any on Google Maps. And I assume their prices are super cheap, right? Although I'm a little confused about why the black market only exists in the United States and not in other countries that have successfully banned guns?
8812966
Are you serious? You can't be serious, can you? Please tell me you don't really not know that the term 'black market' doesn't refer to an actual market.
The untested magic fireworks Pinkie said she bought from Trixie in a back alley at midnight in the episode 'Horse Play' was a black market deal, okay? The black market is a concept, and it's a worldwide one. It's a term used to describe any unsanctioned transaction. Sale of recreational drugs? Black market. Sale of contraband? Black market. Trafficking? Black market. Ever paid money to take home a puppy born in the home of someone who isn't a licensed breeder? Congratulations, you're a black market consumer.
Tl;dr - It's everywhere, and it's not just guns. Have fun.