Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Dear Fluttershy,
Say, how's Angel's training going for Equestrian Ninja Warrior coming along? Think you can get Tank a spot?
Sincerely,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Fluttershy,
So in short, you gave animals too lazy to leave the hospital a sanctuary that they can be too lazy to leave that place.
What the hell happened to natural selection?
-Twilight Sparkle
FOAL FREE PRESS
PAVILION CAPACITY PROBLEMS
Mayor Mare's "Me Too" Awareness Campaign was forced to relocate to Ponyville Adjacent when the town pavilion reached capacity.
"In hindsight, we really should have seen this coming. After all, when you hold a campaign to raise awareness for ponies who have been sexually harassed by Princess Twilight Sparkle, obviously we should have known that the entire town would show up," the mayor commented.
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And probably a good portion of Canterlot as well, given Disgruntledverse Twilight's proclivities.
Who knew that she was Harvey Weinstein, Mark Halperin, Bill O'Reilly, Donald Trump, and Roger Ailes all rolled up into one pony?
You could probably fill a STADIUM with ponies that Disgruntledverse Twi has sexually harassed and still need to take up some parking lot space to accommodate them all. That mare is just one step below a succubus!
Hey, Fluttershy,
Since when has it been your life's dream to open an animal sanctuary? We are just hearing of this now? Every pony else has been talking about, reaching for, and achieving their dreams for the past seven years. Why are you acting like this is something you always wanted to do? And why can that giraffe not talk? Zebras can talk, well, barely, but the one we know can sort of talk, and zebras and giraffes come from the same place. Is there some sort of subjugation going on in their homeland? Oh, why am I asking you? You would not know anything.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and bullshit caller,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
8516044
Hey, don't talk like that. This is Equestria; we need to ponify those names before we say them.
Heavy Winebottle, Marked Hairpin, Bull Ornery, Downward Trumpet, and Roaring Ailment... How do those sound?
I misread the name in the mayor's comment as "Princess Twilight Spankle." Which works.
8516789
Don’t forget Colton Spacey.
Why won't this chapter mark itself as read?!