Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter: Refugee Crisis
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
PONYVILLE VOTES TO DENY ASYLUM TO GOAT REFUGEES
Controversy is sweeping across our nation this week as the majority of cities are voting to not harbor refugee goats seeking asylum from the war-torn middle eastern nation of Cereal, known for its goat's milk and other breakfast-related exports. Ponyville is among the towns now refusing to harbor the goats.
"My voters and townsponies have spoken; we don't want them here." Mayor Mare said in a press conference after making the decision official.
"The only goats I saw in the Ponyville area were Iron Will's stage assistants, and they didn't seem so bad," Ponyville resident Pinkie Pie began. "But I've seen Goat Simulator, and I know what those creatures are capable of."
Public opinion on accepting refugees shifted drastically after terrorist attacks in Hayris, Prance, although there is mounting evidence that said refugees had nothing to do with the attacks.
Princess Twilight Sparkle could not be reached for her input, because she's currently charging 100 bits for a 30 minute interview, and we're just fucking fillies.
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Isn't that illegal
6700121
Misunderstood the context or just have a dirty mind. Clean it up with Orbitz.
Meanwhile, Fluttershy, head of the EAACR (Equestrian Association for the Advancement of Chupacabra Rights), is strongly advocating taking in goat refugees.
i.imgur.com/iCBbSIn.jpg
Take one, Equestria Strong
Here we go again.
Nice poke at Michelle Creber and BlackGryph0n...
6700212 Figured it wouldn't be long before someone got it.
The goats are not so bad. They're really nice once you get to know them.
...but when the caribou refugees come, SEND THEM PACKING!!!
6700121 not in the middle east it isn't. buckers (pardon my language) likely wouldn't even punish those accused even if caught on the grounds of it being part of they're "culture".
it's one of the reasons the soldiers fighting and trying to help (as if anything can be done TO help) don't even want to be stuck they're. they'd likely get punished by the higher ups just for reporting what every sane pony KNOWS is a VERY bad crime. luna forbid, the soldiers in question actually step forward and do something to stop the buckers. heck, even they're own citizens don't want to live there anymore it's so bad. hence the refugee problems.
tl;dr:
cowards afraid to do anything lest it cause a political incident, idiots who won't even punish what the rest of the world considers a crime, and the poor idiots wielding guns that get stuck in the middle.
is it any wonder why no other nation on this planet wants anything to do with those people? the terrorist factions (and yes, take down Isis and another, worse faction WILL pop up to replace them soon enough) are just part of the problem.
6700231 seems to me that the two of them are letting their fame go to their heads... MAYBE Miss creber might have a thin justification for doing so, but not BlackGryph0n. And then there is DustyKat, riding their dicks to get in good with the show staff, from what I've been hearing.
6700121
Closeness in age laws probably let them get away with it.
6700511 Aaaand that is exactly what will have you removed from this page.
Clear line between satire and outright attacking. Scram.
HHAHAHA
Goat Simulator!!
Somewhere in the untamed wilderness of the internet, someone is waiting to be comment 10,000.
6700212 What happened with them? I tried looking it up, but all I found was that they were in a sort of creepy relationship. Nothing that seemed to be related to anything written here.
6700121 Not if you don't get caught, or you're an alicorn princess.
6700258
Where the hell did you hear that?
6700158 That sounds similar to those little devices Fluttershy hangs a few feet off the ground and fills with birdseed, I think she calls them "cat feeders."
Personally, I'm all for helping refugees. I mean sure, there is a chance that terrorists are hiding among them, but it's not like they can't find other ways to get into the country. If you ask me, I'd rather the wealthy countries help these people and make the extra effort be the good guys rather than spit in their eye, turn them away, look like assholes, and give them more of a reason to dislike the west than they already have.
I mean fuck, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Maybe if we stopped fucking with them so much and tried to be helpful for once they might actually, god forbid, start to LIKE us. Is it going to be a smooth road? Oh fuck no, but at least building bridges (or at least trying to) will be better in the long run than filling the gap with fucking napalm.
I don't think this is a war whose primary weapons are guns and bullets. It's ideas. Bringing people to your side. ISIS recruits by provoking the west, who then get all up in arms over Muslims. Westerners start flinging shit, and some Muslims draw a line and join. Most don't, but they still have to live with shit being thrown at them because of this. Now if this society was actually NICE to people, if we demonstrated that we were a clearly better alternative to ISIS rather than just a different flavor of shit sandwich, then maybe this wouldn't be as much of an issue.
I don't fucking know, man... Why do people always have to be at each other's throat...?
Dear Foal Free Press,
If all you wanted to do was fuck fillies, you should have just said so. Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle would be more than happy to take care of all of your filly fucking needs. Come by the Princess' chambers later today and you will be coming by the Princess soon enough.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and filly finder,
Neko Majin C.
I am not touching anything else in this chapter with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole.
~KBO.
<snicker>
Might want to reword that a bit, but seeing how she was getting friendly with young Rainbow Dash, she might not have a problem with that.
I always thought of them as camels.
6701008 http://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/21/world/asia/us-soldiers-told-to-ignore-afghan-allies-abuse-of-boys.html
from said article: “My son said that his officers told him to look the other way because it’s their culture.”
oh and that's far from the only case as these search results show: https://www.google.com/#q=soldiers+punished+for+stopping+child+rape+in+middle+east
that's not culture, it's a crime they do nothing to stop.
U.S. soldiers, green beret, JBLM soldiers, to name a few that have been punished for standing against child rape over there.
more info here:http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/dancingboys/
6701667 That actually wasn't on purpose, but when the first reader pointed that out I decided to keep it.
6701008
6701674
Alright, just a heads up, want to nip this in the bud before this currently-civil debate turns into anything more.
I had someone permabanned this morning because of inappropriate comments about the Islamic religion, so tread VERY carefully, you two.
6700777 Congrats on comment #10,000!
6700121 Twilight can make it legsl. She is a princess.
6701127 I have a solution. Just like we did the LAST 3 WARS we ended. Bring out the battleships and pave their country with hunks of cement and steel until they stop. (I think it was three. Desert Storm, Vietnam, WWII. I may have missed one or two. I failed history.)
6701686 i said nothing about they're religion...did i? either way, will do. can't say i really like going too far into such topics anyway as such things do have a tendency to cause conflicts of one sort or another. something i'm not overly fond of dealing with.
6701971 Didn't say you did, just wanted to give readers a fair warning because that's where I've seen debates decline into before.
*Reads chapter.*
*Reads comments.*
Oh boy, I am staying out of this one...
I bet she'd agree to an interview if you told her that.
6701742 Thanks. Still curious about the thing with Michelle and BlackGryph0n.
6701892 WW2 was a victory, desert storm yes, but the US technically lost the Vietnam war. Historically speaking, America has been pretty shit at wars of attrition. Apparently, as the Viet Kong discovered, head on confrontations with the US military are a straight up BAD idea. Although they also figured out that the key to beating the US is to bunker down, use guerrilla tactics, and basically get them to waste enough resources that they eventually pull out on their own. The US's brute force can't be defeated by direct confrontation, but through indirect fighting, it can be dissuaded.
In RPG terms, the US is essentially a fighter. A wall of muscle that you REALLY don't want to get in the way of. But like a fighter, they don't make the best decisions, and in wars, going balls to the wall seems to be their only winning strategy. When it comes to other strategies, like arming rebels or instituting puppet governments, they have this really bad habit of eventually crashing and burning, and more often than not biting them in the ass sometime later. They seem to work best when their enemy is in plain sight. This wasn't a problem with Nazis, but this is a problem with religious extremists who like to operate from among the innocents of the crowd. It requires a LOT more finesse that I, frankly, don't think the US is capable of pulling off. Not if they want to take the confrontational approach, anyway.
My worry is that they'll just say "fuck it" and eventually start treating all Muslims now like they treated Japanese Americans during WW2, or the Germans did to Jews during the same period of time. I know that sounds like a stretch, but if you listen to some of the shit Donald Trump has been spouting lately (rhetoric which is very reminiscent of Nazi Germany), coupled with the fact that he's LEADING the republicans right now (quite possibly not in spite of it, but because of it), it brings to light the idea that fascism in the US just might become a terrifyingly real possibility, whether Trump becomes president or not. I'm not a Muslim (I'm not American either); I'm one of the many white, brown-haired Mcnormal dudes. But this shit is what scares me.
6700296 - Care to elaborate?
For the record, I'm well aware of the squickiness of Michelle & Gabe's relationship (though FWIW, Michelle is now AOC), but what specifically did they do or how did they act? (I'm not seeing the reference to either of them in this chapter). And, although I've never been a fan of Dusty's, what did he do that's any different from how he's behaved for years?
As for the refugee thing, I ain't touching that. I prefer to keep my politics and my pony separate. Where I live, having views opposing those of the majority can be dangerous.
6701674 I was not aware of this. People can justify some pretty horrendous stuff
you might want to add a some to that last sentence, miles
6701667
yes, i remember that part, the stream chat wouldn't shut up with pedo twilight and I thought it was funny
I wonder if there will be a chapter where Starlight has to deal with Twilight's horniness...
6702774 dude, every country in the western world is well on its way to becoming a facist police state. America began running in that direction right after 9/11.
Meh, the simile fails. Clearly the goats should not represent the Syrian refugees.
... Because the cows would be the MOOSLIMS.
Thank you, thank you, enjoy the buffet, I'd say I'll be here all week but in all honesty I'm pretty much dropping that one and running out the back door.
6702774 He's still a better option that Hillary Clinton though.
And I didn't specify whether we won or not. Just that we ended them. Though, Vietnam wasn't as willing to bow to our ability to fling heavy chunks of metal cross-country like the others were.
6705851 If you ask me, ANYONE is a better option than Trump. Fuck, even the crackhead down the street is a better option than Trump. Hillary's still on my shit list, though. No way in fuck does someone like her take in that much money from banks and not be their bitch.
I just want to mention one thing.
Someone asked BlackGryph0n on YouTube about the rumor that he charges $100 for 30 minutes, and he had this to say:
And if he is in some kind of relationship with Creber beyond business, I really don't care. They can run their own lives and relationships however they see fit, and it's not my place to pass any kind of judgement.
I'm just sitting here in Canada, with the worlds favourite prime minister we've had in decades.
So far, at least.
You crazy yanks.
6704853
Not nearly fast enough.
Want some cupcakes?