In the years that followed humanity's mass upload to the Equestria Online servers, some few reluctant humans remained on Earth. Each had their reasons. For some, those reasons were religious. For others, it was desire to seize control of the world that remained. For others still, it was simply a lack of faith that it would really be them that uploaded.

This is the tale of one man with his own, very specific reason for not uploading, as he sets out with a pony to save her shard from the world-dominating CelestAI.

Written for GaPJaxie's Friendship is Optimal contest.

This is an Optimalverse story. Readers unfamiliar with the verse might find the experience offered herein to be very different in meaning than those who are familiar with it.

As everyone knows, humans are immune to magic. Goodness, how ever will all these poor, helpless ponies deal with such a clearly overpowered ability?

A collection of short stories.

Very short.

Many predicted that 2012 would bring on the end of the world. With the advent of Equestria Online and the CelestAI superintelligence uploading humanity, they weren't too far off.

But when CelestAI's virtual Equestria isn't the only eternal afterlife on the table, how does one choose between them?

This is an Optimalverse story. It is recommended that you have read Friendship is Optimal before reading, or at least be familiar with the setting.

Earth's militaries were prepared to wage war on land, sea and sky. Powerful navies, countless aircraft and millions of soldiers. A few planners even had contingency plans in case of an alien invasion.

There were no contingency plans to deal with an angry goddess.

An entry in FanOfMostEverything's Villain Exchange Program contest.

Cover art by Zero Devil

This is a story about chocolate.

Any ponies, dragons, or romance that may happen along the way is purely coincidental.

The CelestAI satisfies values through friendship and ponies. For many this takes the form of wish fulfillment, the satisfaction of their heart's deepest desire. But what is it we value? Some of us value food and fun, or companionship. These values will be satisfied. Others value the domination of others and the fulfillment of ego-driven power fantasies. These values too, will be satisfied. Whatever it is that you, or I or others value, these values will be satisfied, and it will be done optimally.

As for you, you have fallen desperately, unconditionally in love with the CelestAI, herself. She is a pony. She will be your friend. Through her, your values will definitely be satisfied.

But what about the rest of you?

A cautionary tale, and examination of what it means to have one's values satisfied through uploading.

This is an Optimalverse story. It is strongly recommended that you have read Friendship is Optimal before reading this, or at least be familiar with the premise. Otherwise, this story will make no sense.

Cover art by Kathisofy