Chapter Eight – A Certain Type of Chic
Chapter Eight – A Certain Type of Chic
“I’m so glad you could all make it,” Rarity proclaimed, looking at the room full of ponies, “This could be the biggest day of my fashion career – nay, my life – and I’m so happy to have it happening here in Ponyville where all of my best friends can watch. You have all supported me through everything and I just wanted to say a huge thank you.”
Twilight beamed at Rarity as she spoke. Her voice was filled with so much passion, it was almost as if she was giving herself a pep talk.
As one of the designers whose work was being exhibited, Rarity had been permitted to invite as many guests as she wanted. Naturally, she had invited her five best friends. And as it was the night before the show, she had decided to invite them all to her house to celebrate the eve of the event along with a number of other ponies from around the town.
Pinkie had really outdone herself this time. Twilight marvelled at the beautiful decorations. There was a cake in the shape of a shoe, balloons shaped like ball gowns and an ice statue carved to look like Rarity herself. This gargantuan effort on the pink pony’s part was awe-inspiring. Yet something about it seemed strangely appropriate. All of this work for just one evening...
When the unicorn stepped down from the pedestal from which she had delivered her speech, she was greeted by the rapturous applause of the dozens of ponies and fell instantly in to the duties of meeting and greeting the crowd. Twilight followed her with her gaze: she was in her element. She had the social grace of a true noblepony, laughing and chatting with everypony she saw.
Before long the party was in full swing and Twilight had completely lost track of Rarity. Not that this phased her. For the moment, she was having so much fun that it hardly mattered what anypony else was doing. She got up to dance with Pinkie who was leading the festivities. It had been so long since she had let her mane down like this. Nothing mattered but for the thrill of the moment.
* * * * *
A whole hour of intense dancing later and Twilight finally collapsed, gasping for air, on one of the prettily upholstered chairs which had been lined up around the perimeter of the room. She pulled at the material of her green cape, straightening out a few wrinkles in the process.
She watched the rest of the crowd dancing for a moment before spotting Rainbow Dash heading towards her. She gave the pegasus an exhausted wave.
“Had enough, Twilight?” Rainbow asked loudly in an attempt to make herself heard over the music.
“I would have danced all night if I could have, but right now my hooves are killing me. I need a bit of a rest,” Twilight answered between deep gulps of air, “But I haven’t seen you up dancing all night. You should join in. It’s fun!”
“Yeah, you were really going at it,” Rainbow teased, struggling to keep the mirth out of her voice.
Twilight ducked her head, embarrassed. She didn’t dance to impress anypony, she just did it because she enjoyed it. Rainbow punched her arm gently to let her know she was just kidding around.
“Anyway, I don’t dance. I have more awesome things to be doing. Like hanging out with all the cool ponies. Like you!” Rainbow finished.
Twilight laughed. The pegasus’ bravado was all for show. Rainbow had grace in the air, but with four hooves on the ground, Twilight knew the other pony was no better a dancer than she was. The difference between them was that Twilight didn’t mind making a fool of herself in front of other ponies, as long as it was in good fun; Rainbow felt that she had a reputation to maintain.
“So what’s going on? You spoken to Rarity yet?” Rainbow asked.
Twilight shook her head. She had been wondering about that. It had been a while since Rarity had started making her way around the crowd. It seemed odd to her that the unicorn hadn’t made it as far as her yet. She realised that she was probably just being paranoid, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that Rarity was avoiding her.
Of course that wouldn’t make any sense. They had set aside their differences long ago now and Rarity hadn’t made any effort to avoid her. On the contrary, she had made every effort to make sure she spent as much time with Twilight as everypony else. In fact she had even come round to the library to ask Twilight’s opinion on what she was going to wear to the party a few days earlier and they had spoken many times before that.
Still, something about this didn’t seem right to Twilight.
“Have you?” she asked Rainbow, trying to hide the fact that the answer meant a whole lot more to her than it really should have.
“Nah,” she replied nonchalantly, but she seemed to sense Twilight’s anxiety she, “She’s just busy. She’ll get to us when she gets to us.”
Although the negative response set her mind at ease a little, it wasn’t exactly what she had been hoping for. She was left frustrated by Rainbow’s lack of concern. She wanted somepony to share her curiosity. They were her best friends after all, Rarity should be making time for them.
Or was it just that she felt Rarity should be making time for her?
That would be irrational. Why should Rarity be making more time for her than for Applejack or Pinkie Pie? It wasn’t as if her relationship with Rarity was any different to theirs. Not any more anyway. There was no reason why she should feel like that. Yet here she was, feeling a sense of entitlement to her friend’s time that she couldn’t justify.
Then again, they had kissed. For a short while they had been more than just friends. In her letter and in her diaries she had said she was in love with Twilight. Why shouldn’t she feel entitled to special treatment? You don’t just stop loving somepony. Love isn’t like that.
She hadn’t just stopped loving Rarity when she had thought she was acting like a supercilious braggart. Nor had she stopped loving her when she had appeared so singularly unapologetic about acting in that way. She hadn’t stopped loving Rarity even when it appeared for all the world that Rarity did not love her back.
She hadn’t stopped loving Rarity.
How, then, could it be possible that Rarity had so readily stopped loving her? It couldn’t be possible. Love isn’t like that.
Twilight’s mind raced. She scanned the crowd, looking for the grey unicorn. She saw her standing next to a green stallion wearing a dinner jacket. There was no way Rarity had stopped loving her. If she could just get Rarity to admit that then... then...
“Uh, Twilight? Are you okay?” Rainbow’s voice punctured Twilight’s inner monologue.
“Huh?” she replied, without looking away from Rarity.
“I said, are you alright?” the pegasus repeated, putting her hoof softly on Twilight’s back.
Twilight shook her head vigorously, tearing her eyes away from Rarity’s pretty laughing face to look at Rainbow.
“Yeah, just thinking about something. Excuse me. I’m just going to go to the little fillies room to freshen up. I’ll be right back.”
“Oh. Okay then. I’ll go get us some punch,” Rainbow said enthusiastically.
Twilight smiled and nodded, watching the other pony head off to the refreshments table before standing up herself.
She looked over at Rarity again. The stairs leading to the rest of the house – and the bathroom – were at the opposite end of the room. To get to it, she would have to cross the makeshift dance floor. She didn’t have to walk close to Rarity, but she decided she would. Perhaps she would catch her attention.
Twilight drew herself up, arching her back. She held her shoulders back and thrust her chest forward then began walking, remembering how her mother had taught her to walk: slowly and confidently. She held her chin up, hoping that would lend some of the elegance that Rarity so prized and set it all off by swaying her hips very softly from side to side.
She felt very conspicuous as she made her way across the room. There were certainly a number of ponies watching her as she drew closer to Rarity. She refused to look at the grey mare as she was walking past but despite herself, when she reached the stairs uninterrupted, she couldn’t help but throw a backwards glance in her direction. Rarity hadn’t so much as glanced in her direction.
Twilight relaxed all of the muscles she had been holding in place. What was the use? She turned her back on the room and trotted quickly up the stairs and along to the bathroom, locking the door behind her.
This was ridiculous, embarrassing even. She began pacing around the room. If Rarity wasn’t going to notice her even when she was trying to make her notice her, she may as well not bother. It wasn’t like she could go the whole night without talking to Twilight. Maybe Rainbow had been right. She would see her when she saw her. Twilight walked over to a mirror hanging over a sink and saw that she didn’t really have to freshen up at all.
“Get a hold of yourself, Twilight,” she told her reflection scathingly, before sweeping out of the door.
The rooms above the shop were deserted and somewhat eerie with the muffled sound of the festivities carrying up the stairs. As she dawdled on her way back to the stairs, her eyes were drawn to the door of Rarity’s work room and she was gripped by a sudden curiosity.
Nopony had seen the designs Rarity was planning to exhibit. Nopony was supposed to see them until the show. They were bound to be at the very cutting edge of design: a veritable what’s what of modern fashion. Rarity herself had been dropping so many hints about what she had planned. Still, nopony was any the wiser about the specifics.
Yet here Twilight was, alone and whatever Rarity had planned was guaranteed to be behind that door. Nopony would ever know if she had a look. What harm could it do? She glanced surreptitiously around, making sure nopony would catch her. She tried the handle: locked.
That was so typical. Of course Rarity wouldn’t just leave the door open. Not when so much was at stake. Her curiosity unappeased, Twilight turned her tail on the door and stood still. She wasn’t ready to return to the party just yet. There didn’t seem to be much else to do up here though.
She paced around a little more and decided she would have a look inside Rarity’s bedroom for no reason other than that she knew which door that was. Not feeling as guilty about this kind of snooping, she simply trotted over to the door and tried it. This one opened without so much as a creak.
Twilight turned on the light and looked around the large room. It was everything Rarity’s work room was not. It reminded Twilight more of her library: a place for everything and everything in its place. The sheets on the vast four-poster were immaculately made up, not a crease or a wrinkle in sight. The floor was completely clear, all the cupboard doors and drawers were closed neatly. Even her dressing table with its beautiful oval looking glass was completely clutter free; dozens of perfume bottles and various articles of make-up and grooming apparatus were lined up neatly out of the way but still within easy reach.
It was only because of the sheer orderliness of every last thing in the room that Twilight noticed the only thing therein that was not where it ought to be. Sitting atop a beautiful escritoire was a small, nondescript book.
Twilight approached the desk, her curiosity reignited. Of everything in the room, this must have been the last thing Rarity had used. Twilight picked up the book and examined its plain pink cover. It looked extremely worn. The tips of the pages were ruddy and a few of them hung loose as though they had been...
It was as though those pages had been dislodged somehow. As though they had been pulled loose while others were removed completely. Twilight realised now what she held in her hooves. How could Rarity have remembered to lock the door to her work room but have completely forgotten to put away her diary?
She put the book back on the desk, both excited and frightened by the thoughts running through her mind. She could read the most recent entries and find out exactly what Rarity felt for her, if anything. Yet to do so would be a complete invasion of the other pony’s privacy. It wouldn’t be right. Then again, Rarity would never need to know and besides, she had already allowed Twilight to read other pages. She obviously trusted her to know these things and after all, Twilight wasn’t about to tell anypony else what she found out.
This rationalisation seemed reasonable to her. In any case, she really wanted to know what was written on those pages. No, she had to know. A part of her felt guilty about what she was going to do but this was too important. She couldn’t not do this. She reached her hooves towards the diary, holding the ribbon that marked the page as she opened it.
“Twilight? What are you doing in here?”
Twilight slammed the book shut, turning quickly around. Guilt coursed through her as she faced the new arrival.
“Nothing! Nothing at all,” she answered promptly.
Rainbow Dash eyed her suspiciously, then looked over at the bureau spotting the diary which she had clearly seen Twilight close.
“What’s in that book?” she pressed.
“It’s just a notebook,” she said, thinking quickly, “I thought it might have some picture of some of the dresses for the show tomorrow. It doesn’t. Sorry for keeping you waiting. My curiosity got the best of me I suppose. Let’s get back before anypony notices we’re missing.”
Twilight cursed her luck as she made her way back downstairs with Rainbow. Luckily the pegasus had believed her story, but she had missed her opportunity. She would never get the chance to look at that diary again. There was no way she could sneak off unnoticed to look at it and she doubted Rarity would ever be that careless with it again.
Twilight sat back down next to Rainbow, drinking the punch that the pegasus had gotten for her and tried to push the whole thing out of her mind. It wouldn’t have been right to read it anyway. She finished off the punch and turned to Rainbow with a sly look on her face.
“Come on, let’s get up there and dance!”
* * * * *
The crowd in Rarity’s shop was beginning to thin a little, but the party itself was going just as strong. Twilight had had to sit back down again, having finally convinced Rainbow to let her hair down a little. She watched now as Rainbow and Fluttershy spun around one another, nodding their heads in time to the music and laughing.
She became so engrossed in watching the pair that everything else became a blur. It was a surprise to her, then, when somepony sat down next to her and began to speak.
“Twilight! However are you, darling?”
Twilight jumped upon hearing Rarity’s voice. She immediately turned around to face the other pony. This was the moment she had been waiting all night for.
“Hi, Rarity. Great party!” she exclaimed.
Rarity bowed her head and looked away: “It is, isn’t it? I’m honoured that so many ponies turned up to celebrate the occasion with me. Of course, that hasn’t left me with much time to spend with you girls but you know how it is. Duty calls and all that.”
Rarity looked back up, forcing a smile on to her face. Twilight smiled back, noticing that Rarity looked absolutely exhausted. She must have been on her feet since the party started and her fixed smile was starting to wane. Rarity usually enjoyed nothing more than being the centre of attention but something seemed to be troubling her. There was a shadow behind those twinkling blue eyes.
“Are you alright Rarity?” Twilight asked.
“Yes. Quite alright. I’m just... I’m nervous about tomorrow, that’s all,” the other pony replied meekly, allowing her façade to drop.
“What could you possibly have to worry about?” Twilight reassured her, “You’re a wonderful designer and an incredible artist. I know everypony will love whatever it is that you’ve done.”
“It’s not that,” Rarity said, looking cheered by the compliment “I’m confident in my designs. It’s just, well... do you know what I’m up against? Chic Mode is going to be there, isn’t she? I mean, she’s the most popular designer in Canterlot at the minute. She basically makes the trends. What if she’s done something unmatchable? Something nopony can compete with?”
Twilight put her hoof on Rarity’s shoulder, looking deep in to her eyes. It wasn’t like Rarity to be this nervous. Fashion was her life and she had never been anything other than entirely confident in her abilities regarding it. Nopony had ever criticised her designs apart from Chic Mode and her confidence had clearly been knocked by it.
“I honestly don’t think that that will happen,” Twilight responded, “And if it does, then it’ll be okay. There will always be another time. You can’t constantly worry about being in another pony’s shadow. You’re twice the designer she is and by far the better pony. Don’t worry about it. You’ve given this everything you have and your industry and diligence will show, I just know it.”
Rarity gave a weak smile and the two exchanged a warm hug. Rarity was clearly not entirely convinced, yet she seemed to see the wisdom in her friend’s words. Even if she was still worried, she wasn’t going to let it rule her.
“Oh, Twilight. You always have a way of cheering me up!” she laughed, sending a shiver along Twilight’s spine.
As the night wore on, the two unicorns were joined by their friends and the time seemed to fly past in a haze of fun and laughter. It seemed odd to Twilight that they hadn’t spent a night together like this since her last birthday.
The party began to draw to a close as midnight approached. By then the guest were leaving in dribs and drabs as they gradually became too weary to carry on. When even the most tireless revellers were making their way out and saying their farewells to Rarity, Twilight started to grow restless. It was only a matter of time until she too would be expected to leave and she wasn’t ready just yet.
When that time did arrive and only the six of them remained, Twilight had begun to formulate a plan. She needed one if she was going to be able to hang back like she intended to. She wanted to speak with Rarity. On her own if she could manage it. She didn’t know when she had come to this conclusion, but she did know that she had to do this.
After no more than a few minutes, six became five when Applejack became the first to part their company, wishing Rarity luck for the following evening as she left. That was as Twilight had expected. Those two never spent any more time with one another than was absolutely necessary.
As they had talked throughout the evening, Twilight could have sworn she caught Rarity looking at her on at least a couple of occasions. She wasn’t sure. It could just as easily have been wishful thinking on her part but she needed to know, once and for all, if there was any chance of something happening between them. It was no use to go on pining over somepony if nothing would ever come of it.
Next to go was Fluttershy who drifted wearily out the door after arranging a time to meet Rarity at the spa the next day. Rarity insisted that she needed to look and feel her best if she was to be a success at the show. Fluttershy quietly agreed and bid her goodnight. Again, this was what Twilight had anticipated. Fluttershy didn’t do well at parties. She liked the quiet life after all.
Perhaps the incident with the diary had brought home to her just how important this all still was to her or maybe it was that the evening had felt just like any other they six mares had spent together since that Summer Sun Celebration so long ago. Perhaps it was just that so much time had passed without the subject being discussed by anypony, she was beginning to wonder whether everypony had forgotten about it but her.
All she knew for certain was that, whatever the outcome, she had to draw a line under all of this before the night was through.
Rainbow Dash gave a huge yawn, finally announcing that she was exhausted. She gave Rarity a hug and looked pointedly at Twilight over Rarity's shoulder as she did so. She gazed at Twilight and then glanced towards the door but Twilight pretended not to see this. Rainbow thanked Rarity for a good night and, with one last backwards glance at Twilight, closed the door behind her.
If Rarity still had any feelings for her whatsoever, Twilight had to know. Whether she wanted to try for something more right away or not was immaterial. If the opposite was true and Rarity didn’t love her any more... well she didn’t want to think about that, but it would be just as acceptable a response. It was the not knowing that was hurting Twilight the most at this stage and she wouldn’t let herself feel like that anymore.
Now that there was only the three of them left, Twilight had to put her plan in to action. She had suspected that Pinkie Pie would be the last one left and so it had turned out. She looked over at the pink mare and smiled.
“What a fabulous party Pinkie,” she mused, “But I guess we had better get this place tidied up a little.”
Pinkie was always great at parties. She could dance and sing and play and make merry with the best of them but when it came to the end, she was never one for clearing up the mess that everypony else had made. That was usually left to somepony who was better at it. Twilight watched as Pinkie looked around at the pile of balloons and streamers on the floor and at the refreshment table which was littered with paper plates and cups. She was by no means lazy, but tidying up wasn’t something she enjoyed. Not one bit.
“Oh, now come along, Twilight, don’t be silly. I’ll manage it all by myself tomorrow,” came Rarity’s voice, “You two can get going. It’s been a long night and I’m sure you’re both exhausted.”
This, Twilight had not anticipated. She opened her mouth to speak. She had to do something to save the situation. But before she had the chance to say what she had planned on say anything, somepony else did it for her.
“Okie dokie! If you need any help, you know where to find me,” Pinkie said cheerfully, seizing upon the opportunity.
Twilight relaxed. It had worked. Now Pinkie would have to go. She had already stated her intentions. Now all Twilight had to do was...
“Well I insist, Rarity. It’s the very least I can do. You’ve been so busy tonight, I don’t want you to have to do this all on your own. Don’t worry Pinkie, we’ll manage.”
Rarity looked like she was going to protest further but she obviously couldn’t think of way to do it politely, so she didn’t do it at all. Pinkie looked suspiciously at Twilight before putting on her best smile and giving Rarity a hug goodbye.
“Thanks for letting me plan this fantastic party, Rarity. It was great! I’ll see you tomorrow at your big fancy fashion show. I can’t wait to see your dresses. G’night!” she squealed before bouncing excitedly to the door with Rarity.
Once Rarity had seen Pinkie out, she closed the door leaving the two unicorns alone. She turned to face Twilight, looking flustered. She hadn’t been expecting this. Though she might have suspected by now that something was going on.
Now that she was here, Twilight felt a little awkward about the whole thing too, but she had to do this. She had to talk to Rarity. She had to.
“Now, Twilight, darling, thank you for your kind offer. Really. But I assure you it won’t be necessary. I’m sure you mean well, but I’ll manage it on my own tomorrow,” Rarity insisted.
“Rarity, I said I would help and I want to help,” Twilight said, lifting some of the paper cups and plates with her magic.
Rarity sighed and relented following Twilight’s lead. The two worked methodically, slowly returning the shop to its previously uncluttered state. It didn’t take much more than a half hour, but in that time Twilight couldn’t bring herself to say what had to be said. She kept looking over at Rarity as she worked, questioning herself.
As much as she wanted to do this, she was frightened. If this all went wrong and she found out that Rarity no longer had any feelings for her, what would she do? She knew that she would want to continue being the other mare’s friend, but aside from that, she had no idea. She would be shattered by it. It would be like losing a part of herself.
She had gone in to this assuring herself that she was better off knowing, but now she wasn’t so sure. She watched Rarity sweeping some crumbs in to a dustpan and she remembered falling in love with her, kissing her, holding her and fighting with her. She remembered her generosity, her grace, her kindness and her ire. She remembered her letter, her diaries, her understanding and her forgiveness. She remembered everything last thing that had happened between them from the day they had met until that very moment. If she knew that it was all over, most of these memories would be painful ones. Yet she would still hold them and they would still be real to her.
When they had finished, Rarity looked around her shop: “There. Well, that wasn’t nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. Thank you ever so much for your help.”
Twilight muttered her agreement and batted away Rarity’s thanks, though she wasn’t able to appreciate the fruits of their labours in the way that Rarity was. In truth, she wasn’t able to concentrate about much else other than her next few words which she spoke with a forced conviction.
“Rarity?” she said carefully, “what’s going on between us?”
The other pony froze, looking distinctly startled by the bluntness and abruptness of the question. She looked utterly panicked, looking everywhere but at Twilight; pulling at her mane and worrying her dress. Twilight watched this, feeling dreadful, but there had been no other way to say what had to be said. There could be no beating around the bush.
Finally, Rarity gave her response: “I don’t know.”
Twilight stared back at grey mare. She wasn’t quite sure how to take this. What didn’t she know? Whether she still had feelings for her or not? What was going on between them? Had she even understood the question?
“I mean, how do you feel? About me? About us?” she elaborated, trying to glean something a little deeper from her questioning.
“I know what you meant. And I told you, I don’t know,” Rarity answered.
“Have you even thought about it?” Twilight asked indignantly.
How could she not know? It was all Twilight had thought about for weeks and weeks. Her every waking moment seemed to be occupied by it. She knew exactly how she felt. If the tables were turned, she would be able to answer any question the other pony could ask without even having to consider the answer.
“Of course I’ve thought about it,” Rarity intoned.
“And?” Twilight pressed.
“I don’t know!” Rarity yelled, clearly becoming frustrated.
What reason did she have to be frustrated? It wasn’t like Twilight was asking her difficult questions. It wasn’t like expecting an answer was unreasonable. Was she deliberately avoiding answering because she was worried with how Twilight would react to her answer?
“What don’t you know?” Twilight said, tears welling up in her huge violet eyes, “What is there to know? Do you love me or do you not? It’s that simple.”
Rarity through her hooves in to the air: “It’s not that simple, though! Of course I still love you, Twilight. How could that change so easily? You mean the world to me. You mean everything to me. It’s just...”
Rarity trailed off, her annoyance short lived. Twilight felt her heart flutter. Rarity still loved her. That was a good start. That was something. Rarity looked at Twilight as though she was frightened by the words she had just spoken. There was something else though and whatever that something was, it was the reason Rarity didn’t know how she felt. Twilight calmed herself down before asking the question.
“It’s just what?” she enquired softly, crossing the room until she stood directly in front of the other mare.
Rarity looked at the ground and shuffled her hooves: “It’s just that after the last time... What if I say something wrong again – or I do something – and you get angry at me and I don’t know why? Then we’ve been together for months or years and suddenly we’re not because I’ve been completely tactless. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself!
“I hate arguing with you too and it feels like we’ve done nothing but argue since we, you know. Since we kissed that night. Yet we never really argued before it or at least we didn’t argue about anything important. What if we’re jinxed?! I mean we barely lasted three minutes the last time before everything blew up in our faces.
“And what about everypony else? Fluttershy keeps telling me I need to follow my heart and she’s probably right but she’s the only one I’ve really spoken to about any of this. But what if we do try this again and we can’t forgive one another for these arguments or fights or whatever else? Then how can we put ourselves and our friends through all of that? It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair.”
Twilight listened thoughtfully. These were her fears too. Everything Rarity was saying had crossed her mind at some point. There were a great many reasons why their relationship – if it were to become that – might not work. It had often felt to her as if they were doomed from the very beginning.
Yet, this didn’t have to be the case. Especially since she knew now that Rarity felt the same. If she was worried about the same things, they could work to avoid letting their fears transpire. It had to be possible. If these fears were the only things holding them back then it just came down to a leap of faith and a whole lot of trust. Fate would handle the rest.
“I know exactly what you mean. I’ve wondered the same things,” Twilight said, putting her hoof on Rarity cheek and looking deeply in to her eyes, “I can’t promise to you that everything will be perfect all of the time but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a relationship where it is. What I can promise you is that I will try my best not to let things get to me and if I do, I can promise you that we’ll talk.
“As for arguing, well we won’t agree on everything but it would be boring if we did. We just have to try not to blow our disagreements out of proportion. I think we both could handle that, don’t you? And if the worst came to the very worst, I see no reason why it would have to affect our friends. They’ve been great throughout all of this and they haven’t taken anypony’s side.
“But we’ll never know whether this would work or not unless we give it a try. I for one would feel worse not knowing how it would have gone than if it were all to fall flat. We can’t just not do anything because we’re afraid of what might happen if it goes wrong. We’ve got to think about what might happen if it goes right.”
For the duration of Twilight’s reassurances and for a while thereafter, it looked like Rarity was thinking about just that. A silence fell between them in which each mare was left with her own thoughts. For her part, Twilight just hoped that she had said enough. If Rarity still didn’t feel that it was worth the risk, then perhaps this was never meant to be.
Time stood still for both mares as they looked in to one another’s eyes, but at long last Rarity put an end to the silence.
“You’re right,” she smiled warmly, “Of course we should.”
Twilight felt herself shaking. The absolute joy and relief coursing through her was almost uncontainable. Her legs felt as though they would no longer hold her weight. Her heart hammered a thunderous rhythm against her ribs. Her head felt light, as though she might faint. Yet still she had her doubts, she had to make sure.
“Does that mean you want to... that you would like to...” she stuttered.
“Give it another shot? Be your special somepony?” Rarity interrupted.
Twilight nodded dumbly, still feeling as though her limbs might fail her at any moment. She watched as the other pony mused over this, though she didn’t take much time to do so.
“Yes,” Rarity said firmly, her eyes bright and her smile dazzling.
Twilight threw herself at Rarity. Now that all of the obstacles had been removed, she would not be held back for one moment longer. She wrapped her forelegs around the grey mare’s neck and held on for dear life, as though she would never get the chance again.
It had been too long since she had felt Rarity this close to her; too long since she had been able to think about the mare without any sadness or regret; too long since she had felt complete as she did now. Tears swam in her eyes as she grudgingly let her hold on Rarity loosen.
She stepped back to see Rarity had tears in her eyes too. Why had they ever let this go as far as it had? Why had they denied themselves for so long, what their hearts had so obviously and so fervently desired?
As she thought about everything they had been through and everything they had before them, she finally allowed herself to relax – to enjoy the moment. These things were to be savoured and she would never let herself be without this feeling again.
* * * * *
“Don’t be silly, Rarity,” Twilight laughed.
They stood backstage at the town hall, surrounded by racks holding a plethora of beautifully stitched gowns after what had certainly been a memorable evening. All around them, there was the hum and bustle of activity as the dozen or so models who had performed at the event prepared themselves for the next phase of the evening: the meeting and greeting.
Rarity, too, was due to do this but as it stood, she hadn’t yet made an appearance. Twilight had noticed her absence a few minutes after all of the other designers had made their way in to the crowd of stylish and wealthy ponies who made up the crowd. It was at this point that she had gone backstage.
“I am not being silly!” she shrieked theatrically, looking at Twilight with wild eyes.
“Rarity, I’m telling you they all loved your designs. I heard a few of the comments about the second one in particular. You are being silly. Now get out there. You have to,” Twilight insisted.
From her perspective amongst the crowd, Twilight had been able to judge its reaction to the fashion on show and that reaction had been largely positive. Especially when it had come to Rarity’s offerings. Of course, she hadn’t been told beforehand which of the dresses were of her making, but from the beautiful bespoke jewelled ornamentation on each of them, Twilight had been able to make reasonable assumptions.
“You’re sure they liked it? You couldn’t have been mistaken?” Rarity asked nervously.
They were all dresses of the utmost magnificence. There had been a beautiful, long, close fitting baby blue gown with cap sleeves which was adorned with a few dozen dazzling diamonds and sapphires which glinted with a spectacular fire in the bright lights. That one had made one of the ponies near the front swoon.
There had been an asymmetrical mauve number with emeralds which fell loosely across the haunch. The left side of it ran to the very floor of the runway, but the right side rode just high enough that one could see the hind leg of the model from below her quarter. The effect was that when one turned quickly enough, the side on show would change. Some of Rarity’s magic was making that happen no doubt. That one had really caused a stir, some of the ponies present having never seen that type of movement.
The one that had really caught Twilight’s attention, however, was a bottle green dress with the most beautifully shaped skirt which seemed to float weightlessly behind the model who was wearing it. Its gorgeous, stark white embroidery and lining brightened up and drew attention to the sharp lines Rarity had created by layering the folds and pleats. The gemstones on this one were minute but very liberally used with emeralds and diamonds.
Rarity hadn’t seen everypony’s reaction to her work yet, though. So after all of her excitement the night before and after talking about nothing else for weeks on end, Rarity looked like she would rather be anywhere else than at Ponyville town hall meeting her public. She poked her head out from behind a rack of clothes.
Twilight smiled and walked over to her, kissing her softly on the cheek: “I’m sure. Don’t worry. Why don’t we go together?”
Rarity nodded hesitantly before slowly coming out from behind the rail. It was as if she had been trying to hide from her critics. The pair walked to just behind the curtains, in front of which lay a swarm of ponies mingling and sharing their opinions on the various fashions they had seen that evening.
As Twilight pulled back the curtain, Rarity stopped her: “How do I look?”
Twilight turned around to look at her. She looked as she always did. She radiated a beauty unlike anything Twilight had ever seen. Twilight brushed one of her amethyst curls aside with her hoof, revealing one of Rarity’s perfectly formed ears: “You look beautiful,” she whispered gently in to it.
Rarity drew herself up to her full height, looking more confident than she had all evening and kissed Twilight softly on the mouth, trotting past her and out from behind the curtains. Twilight stood for a moment, smiling to herself before following her into whatever waited beyond.
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Well, I got that up ahead of schedule. Hoorah!
Two words: love it
FINALLY!!!
After all this time another chapter! And such an awesome one too!
I must say I like how you integrate the rest of the Mane6 into the story.
I noticed a couple more, minor grammatical errors:
And should be an.
On should be one.
It was great! I'm glad they decided to give their relationship another chance because Twilight's right; no relationship is perfect.
2699768 I'm glad you like it. It's been some experience writing this, but a fantastic one. I'm glad it has been so well received. Three months and only two thumbs down? I couldn't have asked for any more!
2699801 I'm sorry it took so long. This one perplexed me a bit at times. The way the characters were reacting was completely different from what I had planned so I had to rewrite it. The first draft felt terribly forced so I decided to just let it flow and I'm incredibly happy with the result.
When it comes to writing the mane six, I find it easiest to write dialogue for Rarity, Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy. Applejack, I love. We've had our differences but she makes me happy when she speaks. She has such a wonderful turn of phrase. Unfortunately, I'm not so good at transforming that in to written form. Pinkie is too random and sometimes I find it hard to get inside her head. I also never know how crazy is too crazy and so it sometimes comes out wrong. But overall, I feel confident enough in my character knowledge that I can write them all.
2700549
I would consider it, but it won't be for a while if I do. The point of the ending was to keep it fairly open. The last sentence just about sums it up. Their story is by no means over - indeed it has only just begun - but I wanted to leave it for you to ponder. What's going to happen with Chic? Does Rarity get her acclaim? Can they make their relationship work? We can all see that it could go wrong again. I purposely didn't show the mane six's reactions either. It's all very open which was the point. It leaves you asking questions, no?
However, if I were to write a sequel or another story related to this, I'd tend to write it from Miss Rarity's point of view rather than Twilight's.
2700611 Haha! Thanks. There's always a couple that get under the radar. I'll fix them right away. Other than that, I hope you enjoyed it.
2700699 Of course!
MOORRE
To be honest, I don't frequent this website all that much--at least, not enough to make an account. However, the need to comment your story was compelling enough to do so.
To say I loved this story would be a rather large understatement. Even though I've been watching the show for quite a while, I never really got into the fandom and I never really shipped anyone in it. It's been barely a few weeks that Twirity caught my interest, but nothing beyond "aw, they look cute". As a fanfic writer myself, I checked out some twirity fanfics, and I could feel myself starting to properly ship this and, boy oh boy, this fanfic was what finally made me cave in to this wonderfully fastastic ship.
First and foremost, I'd like to say that I love your writing style. It flows very, very well, and it is just really great prose. I have a hard time writing as fluently as you do, and I guess it sort of inspires me to try harder. The way you describe the settings, the emotions, the scenes; I have to admit I'm jealous.
As for the story itself, I am going to allow myself to just say THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT. I understand that you've been editing this as you post it, but as it is now, it is perfect and wonderful. I felt the pacing in general was very well done, and I particularly like how you handled the whole "Twilight falling in love" part. It didn't feel forced or sudden, and that is something that really made me get into the story.
I also liked very much how you portrayed Rarity. She felt very in-character, and it was interesting how we were mostly seeing her from Twilight's point-of-view. I must admit that, in the last chapter, during the whole party scene, I kind of might have screamed "OH MY GOD, JUST KISS ALREADY! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!". Seriously though, that whole party scene kept me on edge, because I could feel Twilight's frustration over the whole "does she or doesn't she still love me?".
I feel like I could go on forever, but I'd just be repeating myself. Basically, I thought this was a fantastic, well-written fanfic and I hope to see more of your work in the future (especially if it involves this ship).
2858348 Oh, wow. Thank you. That's made my day! My week! Perhaps even my month!
I don't even know what to say. I'm so incredibly happy you liked it that much.
I am working on other things, though I'm sorry to say, they doesn't involve this ship. One is a whole big Sweetie Belle epic. It won't be posted here for a while though. I've only really got a prologue and a few scenes from chapter one of that. I'm hoping that it'll be up some time in the next couple of months (once my editor and I are satisfied that it's ready for the public), so you can check that out when it get's here if you want. Just hit follow if you fancy it.
I recommend you go with the site though. There's a whole lot of stuff here that you might love. I ship just about everyone with Rarity and Twilight, but RariTwi, RariShy and TwiLuna are my favourites. In fact, damn, go in for some TwiLuna. I highly recommend Moonlit Sparkles by Mazzyrazzy. I don't know why, it's just sooooooooo cute. Made me d'aw like nothing in Equestria.
I'm starting to think that I should do a follow up to this though. Maybe I will. Though that's a while off. As I said in a previous comment, I'm likely to write that story from Rarity's point of view.
I'm also working on some poetry, though that takes a little more time to get over the one thousand word minimum. It has been incredibly fun to write that so far. Poetry as a means of telling a fictional story is quite an interesting mistress.
In any case, thank you so, so much for your kind comments!
Bravo, simply bravo.
Let me tell you something, mister : I don’t like your ¬story…
(I know, old joke, but extremely handy, one must say)
I love it !
Well,I’ve decided to do a big “thank you tour” for all my favourite stories, and here is your turn !
So, about “A Certain Type of Chic”… Well, I think the title itself describes your story in a pretty accurate way.
-Spoiler alert-
There is some elegance in the pattern of your tale, please do allow me to explain my thought : you didn’t decide just to write a romance, no, you develop it slowly, at a steady pace, from the beginning, you let your reader become attached to your characters by giving an access to their mind and emotion, we begin to love the way you depict our two unicorns, you then set up an unreasonably cute scene with Twilight consoling Rarity, you offer us an expertly handled “be my soul mate” scene.
And then, at this very particular moment, when our heart is weakened by a cuteness overload, you unleash a storm of fury, pain and misunderstanding and break it in a single sweep of your devastating pen nib.
) when it comes to your style. I found it delicate and sober, yet it perfectly conveys both the psychological depth of your characters and their feelings. The various events form a solid, fluent plot, and nothing really surprised me as” out of place (yes, even the sudden, painful break up…)”.
I must admit that your story was even crueller to me than Habanc’s Restraint, a remarkable achievement. Yet, you still managed to offer a (more or less) happy lovey-dovey ending, after two chapters of torment and sorrow.
Now, about the writing in itself : you do have a “certain type of chic” (Do forgive my clumsy pun
I do thank you for this very entertaining, dynamic, cute and well written romance tale (yet pretty painful, I must admit, I really feared that you would not even spare us a happy ending !
)
I say Bravo, sir, Bravo to you!
?
But we need a sequel! A cute, joyful sequel. No sudden heart-breaking this time, deal
Please continue to write and entertain, you do have a great talent! At least I think so, for all it is worth, I loved your story!
Farewell !
(Oh, and be so kind as to forgive the many typos in this message, I’m not a native English speaker)
Very well written.
I like how you kept the story focused around Twilight and Rarity while also including the other Mane 6 in a way that felt natural. This story had a natural flow to it that always seemed to allow the next chapter to follow the one before it smoothly.
3316750 I take your point, and while I agree with what you're saying in principle, I rebutt that it is you who have taken this view, not I. You'll have to pardon me for not understanding to which instances you refer as first and second. As this was the earlier of the two longer works I have published, I'll assume you're referring to this as the first instance. In which case, you think that my portrayal of Spike in this story is 'horrible'.
You cite the first chapter as your reasoning for this. From the time stamp on your message, I can see that you have, in fact, only read the first chapter. That would be fine, but for the fact that this story is 30,000 words long and you have read only 2,500 of them. So, in this story alone, then, you have missed (or chosen to ignore?) the following:
Chapter Two - Spike goes to Canterlot Castle with Rarity, while Twilight stays at their hotel rooms.
Chapter Three - Spike helps Twilight find Rarity after *spoiler*.
Chapter Four - Spike comforts Twilight after *spoiler*.
This story then ceases to involve Spike all that much. Why?
Chapter Five - Scheduled activity which, canonically, has never involved Spike.
Chapter Six - It is night time and Spike is asleep. (Also, for narrative and artistic purposes, this chapter is very much one for Twilight by herself.)
Chapter Seven - Why would she take Spike with her when she's going to *spoiler*?
Chapter Eight - He's not there. Why is he not there? Because once again, this part of the story takes place at night.
Given all of this, I fail to understand your problem. This is not a story about Spike. His role here is as a secondary character. In fact, were it not for his important role in Chapter Four, I could have reasonably omitted him entirely. However, as it stands, his involvement in this story is (I feel) no different from his involvement in any cannon episode in which he is not a primary character. That is to say, sometimes we see him, sometimes he's in the background. Do you really want me to spend an extra 300 words in every scene, thus drawing the readers' attention away from its focus, just to explain what Spike is doing when the fact is that, realistically, it doesn't matter?
By the same token, you could ask why I don't mention Fluttershy or Applejack in every scene. The reason is because my story focuses on Twilight and Rarity, and while their friends are important to them, the plot of this story doesn't require their continuous presence.
As regards my other story (I presume you are referring to 'To Be A Princess' here), I haven't even mentioned Spike in that one yet. How you can draw any inference from that is beyond me. First of all, the story itself is incomplete. So you can't possibly suggest that I have neglected him altogether. For all you know, the next chapter could involve him in a very prominent role. Secondly, you show me the scene in that story where Spike absolutely has to be present to make the plot more cohesive. I contend that his inclusion in many of the scenes would be counterproductive. Thirdly, could you explain to me why I should completely alter the progression of a story to include a character just for the sake of including him?
I wonder if your ire is provoked not by my writing if Spike but rather your love of Spike as a character. I know there are a lot of people out there who feel that Spike is neglected, but I assure you, I love him every bit as much as the ponies. What I'm startled by is your insistence that he needs to be present and correct in every scene in the telling of a good, Twilight-centric story.
Edit: I'd also like to add that even in terms of the canon, Twilight's treatment of Spike is somewhat suspect by the standards you are imposing.
3318557 Before I go any further, I'm going to take this opportunity to remind you that you are still critiquing my whole story based on less than 10% of its content. In terms of etiquette, that borders on rude. You are also taking only one aspect and picking away for the sole purpose of creating a subtext that I can assure you didn't exist before you sought it out.
Now to your arguments and I'm afraid you sound a little ridiculous. I'm not usually the type of person to become frustrated at someone, but you're pushing me mighty close. Your critique here is entirely unfounded. So I'm going to spell this out to you as bluntly as possible.
The story's focus is on Twilight. Not Twilight and Spike. Twilight.
And now the bulk. Firstly, if you look closely, you'll see that the narrative is written in third-person mode from a limited perspective (ie. I am telling it as if I know only what Twilight knows). To consistently refer to 'them' rather than 'her' is contrary to this style of narrative. This is particularly true in early chapters where I am aiming to establish the voice as thoroughly as possible. Additionally, referring to Twilight in the singular when the story revolves around her is quite common practice, I think you'll find. It establishes her role as the story's focus and its protagonist. Again, this is particularly important in the first chapters. And since the story's focus is Twilight, referring to 'they' from the outset is entirely misleading.
Secondly, Twilight and Spike are not two sides of the one coin nor are they some kind of double act. They are entirely separate entities with their own personalities, flaws and emotions. The way you're talking, it sounds like you don't think of them in this way. It sounds as though you think of them like Abbot and Costello, Penn and Teller or Morcambe and Wise. This is wrong.
Thirdly of all of the sentences you lifted from the text, there is only one of them that I would change. That is the six/seven thing. However this was a genuine mistake on my part, rather than the out and out attack on a character that you are portraying it to be. Much of what you are saying could be regarded as oversight and if I'm honest, I'd be more inclined to change it to read as though that Spike hadn't been with Twilight in Canterlot rather than to change it in the ways you have suggested. That's not because I hate Spike or want anyone else to hate Spike, but because it is more suitable to the story.
Fourthly, this: "That one borders on flat-out racism. Twilight literally just implied that Spike doesn't matter." No she didn't. Nor was she meant to. You have inferred that, just as you have with absolutely everything you have said thus far.
Fifthly, the point by point:
So they're not her friends? Does changing 'her' to 'their' here add anything to the story? Does not changing it take anything away? Or is it just that you have read in to it far more than was intended?
Ditto.
Ditto, only this one is more far gone. If I went away somewhere with my child/cousin/mother, I would probably say 'I've' rather than 'we've' in a similar sentence. Are you suggesting that that means I don't love my child/cousin/mother?
On the next one, no. Just no. I think you're misreading this to mean that Rarity and Pinkie Pie are her two best friends rather than those in the room at large. That might be my fault for phrasing it wrongly, but even so, you would still be reading far too far in to it. This is an example of where you're fighting Spike's corner, but if you read it like I think you did, why not fight Fluttershy's or Rainbow's too?
Was it them? Or was it Twilight that did this? I think that's my decision, thank you very much. (Evidenced here is your belief that they are a double act, see above.)
Again, this comes back to the narrative. They might have done these things together, but since Twilight is relating the story, I don't see what difference it makes, really. Though this one, I could feasibly change. I'm not going to though since it reads just fine how it is. Once again, it is your inference and not my implication that makes this read the way you want it to.
The next one, I have already covered and is merely a mistake on my part. I will probably change that one.
Okay, here's the reason why I'm getting annoyed at you in a nutshell. Even before this conversation began, even as I wrote this line, I had envisaged that Twilight had gone to visit her mother alone; that they had gone to the dress shop together as a kind of mother-daughter thing. I don't know why I though that. I just did. Now your telling me that I should alter my impression of my own story to suit how you want it to read? Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but nope. This one here is the climax of all of your nonsensical nitpicking.
Here's what I think: if you look for something, you will find it everywhere, regardless of whether it was there to begin with or not. You have already admitted that you like Spike because you see him as a bit of an underdog or an unappreciated, overworked martyr. That is fair enough. But if that's what you expect to see, that is what you will always see. What I have done is precisely nothing. I have written a story with no underlying sub-plot of dragon-abuse and you have unearthed it in all its glory because you were looking so damn hard for it in the first place.
Then you have the audacity to tell me that I'm not following the canon. What!? I don't even know where to begin with this. Twilight's birthday party in Canterlot (S2E9 Sweet and Elite), surely Twilight's number one assistant and friend should have been invited. Royal wedding in Canterlot (S2E25/26 A Canterlot Wedding)? Where the heck is Spike in this episode while Twilight is freaking the f**k out? Twilight is going on a huge adventure to rid Equestria of a dragon (S1E7 Dragonshy), but where is Spike? Back watching some bunnies, that's where. Surely he should be with her while she's out risking her life... No?
I think the message that I would offer you here is the one that Pinkie Pie learns in S2E18 A Friend in Deed. That is that friends can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. In the end, it comes down to whether or not you feel that Spike is mistreated in the canon as well as in my story, and obviously you believe both. In that case, you've found it here because you've looked for it here. Again, I'm telling you that it is not my writing that is the problem. It is not my portrayal of Spike that is the problem. It is not the subtext of my story that is the problem. It is your interpretation that is the problem.
Perhaps if you read this again from a different perspective, you would see it as I had intended it, instead of as some kind of anti-Spike propaganda. If you don't want to read the next chapter, then by all means don't. But please don't come here and criticise my work based upon your own preconceived ideas.
As regards your postscript, if you're not concerned enough about my response as to check back every now and again to find it, I'm not concerned enough to notify you of it.
3319165 I never said this was a critique on the whole story. The first few paragraphs are usually when people decide whether or not they'll want to read an entire story, and I went beyond that.
Yes, I can see that it's being told from a third-person limited perspective now. You'll have to forgive me on that one, I'm not exceptionally well-versed in the construction of literature. Still, that doesn't change how rude the rest of the mane six were when gathering the library, being focused exclusively on Twilight while Spike wasn't even acknowledged. Was he part of that conversation? You never said.
I can't agree with you. Twilight hatched him and grew up with him, he takes great pride in being her number one assistant, and they look after one another in equal capacity. It's canon that they depend on one another to the point that they're just as much a duo as the ones you listed. I find it unfortunate that so few people see it that way. The writers should really focus on building that connection.
1. They are. But they're also Spike's friends.
2. Yes, it clarifies that they're not just Twilight's friends
3. Not much, but yes.
4. A rhetorical question, I'm sure.
What I read was Twilight looking at all five of the ponies, not just Rarity and Pinkie Pie. It was assumed that Spike wasn't even in the room, so it was implied that he didn't count as one of her "best friends".
But on the last point, you're right again and I was wrong. That was your interpretation of things, and I didn't see it at first.
As for his absence from certain episodes, those can be explained: it makes sense that he would opt out of Twilight's birthday party to allow her some "girl time"; the mane six probably felt that their mission in Dragonshy was too dangerous for him; it's likely that he was on Canterlot business for most other episodes (as established in Look Before You Sleep); and in S2;E25, Celestia was actually worse than Spike. Spike felt guilty about walking out on Twilight, but Celestia was harsh, and afterward downright hypocritical. But the most practical explanation is sloppy writing from crew who have neither the time nor energy to assiduously apply themselves to each script until they're as polished and professional as what you have here.
I'm sorry you've gotten so frustrated, that wasn't my intent. But there are people who genuinely do dislike Spike, and too damned much content that focuses on the ponies, thereby implying that he doesn't count as one of their friends. Imagine how frustrated I get.
3319321 I can stretch myself to seeing why you might think their response somewhat rude, but that certainly was not my intention. I don't think that if you weren't fighting so hard for Spike's rights, you would have noticed that one. Perhaps I was just being pigheaded in asserting that they didn't have to acknowledge Spike at this juncture, when the truth is that it probably just didn't occur to me how it actually came across.
On your second point, I think we should agree to disagree on this one. It's just going to lead to more arguing and really, this one is all about opinion and perception. You see it one way and I see it the other. There will be people who agree with me and people who agree with you. So let's not even get started.
This third one, I'm going to take you on with though. Given your answers to my questions, I can pose you a further question. Does it really have to be clarified that they're not just Twilight's friends? I don't think that it does. Perhaps had they greeted him more warmly in the first instance, wouldn't have been a problem for you. However, even as it is, I don't think that you can say it reads as if they are only her friends. There's nothing written in that sentence that could possibly lead you to believe that. The only reason that you mentioned this one is because when you're looking for the fault, you interpret it differently. From an unbiased point of view, this is a natural way of expressing the idea I wanted to express.
I don't want to argue canon here as it will just take us off topic and I wouldn't be setting a very good example if I was to lead my own comments thread off topic. However, I believe you can argue your side reasonably for everything based on 'Canterlot duties' but his absence from her birthday party was a strange one, even in my eyes. If they were as close as you're making out, there is no way that she wouldn't have invited him and no way that he would have turned her down. Birthdays aren't about girly time. Birthdays are about friends and family.
3319397 I suppose it isn't absolutely necessary to type "their" over "her", minor detail that it is. The choice of word doesn't include Spike, but nor does it specify that he wouldn't be included. I'll concede to that one as well.
It should be noted that Shining Armor, Cadance, and Twilight's parents were also absent from her birthday party. Sure looks like it was an all-girls affair to me.
I'm still not interested in reading the rest of the story, but I'm glad you agreed with me on at least a few points, and the civil debate was appreciated.
Hope you have a good day.
I'm conflicted. On one hand, this is a wonderfully written story with a lot of obvious care and hard work put into it. The pacing is excellent, the description is excellent, and the characterization seems solid. Problem is, I'm still put off how much blame is placed on Twilight with how much of it being Rarity's fault is pretty much ignored, getting only a brief mention in the final chapter.
Except for the part where they DID.
I may not be Rinzler when it comes to Spike, but I'm still uncomfortable with a RariTwi story where Twilight ignores Spike's feelings for Rarity entirely.
3858952 Yeah, if I were to rewrite this, I think the Spike stuff is definitely something I would look at again. I would also have extended it a bit between the first scene of chapter 4 and the second to improve the pacing. In fact, there is a great deal I would do with this story if I was to write it again. I'm almost certainly going to come back to this at some point in the future though.
That said, in chapter four, Twilight does allude to her feelings about what has happened between her and Rarity as regards Spike. That is to say, after the fact of the argument, she doesn't really want to taint his friendship with her. Although if I were to write it again, I'd undoubtedly spend more time on it, rather than leaving it as an allusion.
My conversation with Rinzler was more to say that I wasn't being intentionally cruel to Spike and to point out that, since Twi and Rares don't actually 'get together' as it were until the very end, I didn't really have to include Spike as much as I would have otherwise. The way I see it, Twilight would want to keep this kind of thing with Rarity out of Spike's thoughts until it was absolutely necessary to tell him. So to my mind, the way she goes about things here is about right. This fact is implied throughout the story rather than being stated overtly. Though I know not everyone would agree that this would be how Twi would react.
3859166 Oh no, I understand what your conversation with Rinzler was all about, it's just that after watching you go through that, I figured I'd clarify I wasn't going the same route. Heck, I agreed with your side of the discussion. I certainly don't think you were mistreating Spike, it's just that as much as I like RariTwi, I'm uncomfortable with such stories where it feels like Twilight is ignoring Spike's feelings for Rarity, as it feels out of character for her.
3870021 Yeah, I can see your point. Did you think it felt like she was ignoring Spike's feelings?
3876350 I'm sorry to say I do, she pressed on without thought to how Spike would react...
3887974 Ah. Well that's not good. I don't really know what to say apart from that I had hoped I hadn't done that. Just out of curiosity, which parts in particular left that bitter taste in your mouth? Or if it was just a general feeling you got from the story as a whole, why? Were there some plot points or scenes which you felt lent themselves to this overall mood?
It'd be useful to know where I've gone wrong. I have designs on writing a follow up at some point and a little bit of focused criticism would go a long way to making it better. If you don't have the time to go through it though, don't sweat. I can reread it myself and go through it looking for this particular issue. That said, a fresh perspective is always far more useful.
Thanks man!
3910033 The story overall? Goodness no, I thought the story itself, as well as the pacing and description, were excellent. My only two issues were Twilight taking all the blame for the misunderstanding, including her friends not demonstrating any empathy for her side of the story, with Rarity taking none of the blame; and Spike's feelings for Rarity never being an issue for his surrogate big sister.
So please don't misunderstand, I like this story, I just think those two issues are significant and addressing them go a long way. What I say should probably be taken with a grain of salt, though, as Twilight is my favorite character and I'm very protective of her. I can handle her being in the wrong and making mistakes, her NOT being perfect is part of why I love her, I just think that in this particular case she's not the only one to blame.
I'm happy to help, constructive criticism, mixed in with the positive, is a good thing in my opinion. I made that mistake reviewing another fic, I had a bunch of criticism to offer, though I tried to be as tactful as possible, but the author still took offense because I hadn't said anything positive. Personally, even though I wasn't rude or disrespectful, I think he had a point, so I don't want to make the same mistake here
It's been more than two years since I made this account with the sole purpose of saying how much I love this fanfiction, and after all this time, MY ORIGINAL COMMENT IS STILL VERY VALID BECAUSE I STILL LOVE THIS STORY TO PIECES.
I blame this story entirely for turning me into the raritwi trash I am today...6842789 You know, I've not written anything at all for a very long time now - probably about a year and a half. My life has just become so busy that I've simply not had the time. I have a half finished story on here that I keep wanting to come back to and half a dozen more on my Google Drive. Every time I look back at this story, I remember how much I loved writing it and how much I enjoyed the feedback, the love (and hate) I got from readers like you. And it makes me sad that I can't get myself together to do it all again. Maybe one day...
This has to be one if my favorite non-Monochromatic raritwi fics, and I am not just saying that.
One of the most beatiful romance fics that I've ever read. Thank you so much for your story, WellKPony, hope for your future succes in writing!