BUCK YEAH!!! FMA CROSSOVER!!!!!!! FMA CROSSOVER!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!

*Edit* That was the best FMA crossover I've seen yet!!!!!!!!!!! MAKE MORE I DEMAND IT!!!!!!!!

While I prefer the manga over the first anime, I can't complain here. You have a good start, it is a little rushed but then given how awkward it can be to start a crossover you did well. There are 3 FMA/MLP crossovers on fanfiction.net, didn't like any of them myself, I like your story so far and I will be looking forward to more chapters.

Definitely write more of this.

bucking genius.

>>177936177936

I read the original manga, I loved it. I watched the original FMA TV show, and I can't even express how much I enjoyed that show. Even to this day I want them to finish that series. I hated FMA: Brotherhood though... It was to Animeish for me, and thats why I love the origanal FMA cause it wasn't like the others, it was powerful and epic.

(Not for you) I liked where this story is heading, I want to see what happened to Al and I want to see how Ed reacts to life in Ponyville.

>>177952177952

Don't get me wrong, I liked the first Anime I just liked the manga's story more epically the ending (I haven't gotten around to watching Brotherhood).

Back to the story; I am looking forward to seeing the main 6's reaction to Ed and Al's story. I'm guessing something along the lines of

Not a bad start, this has potential

There gonna say he's little and he's gonna snap.

Image: http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0902/dont-call-me-small-edward-elric-fullmetal-alchemist-small-sh-demotivational-poster-1234940711.jpg

I CAN'T WAIT!

hmm, i've been reading fanfiction for two years, and i have one thing to say, WHY HAVE'NT YOU POSTED BEFORE, if you were afraid no one would like it, then you're nuts, even thou it was short for my taste, it has a certin...Spice to it. i'm lookin foward to another chapter.

-WW

Ok, that's for Edward... Where did Alphonse go? I think he's gonna be back in an empty suit of armor again. Pony armor! Can't wait to read that .

Oh, and I almost forgot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnAYgNnA5A0

Tracked for future FMA awesome

this is a good start, tracking and looking forward to more

Wow, I was only gone a few days, and already so many comments! Thanks a lot everyone, this is already way more attention than I thought I'd be getting! Don't worry, there will definitely be more coming! And, after reading all of your questions/reactions, I can say that I've already planned to address all of them! Thanks for the critiques, I'll have them in mind when writing!

Thanks again, everybody!

Also, as far as FMA goes, I am a HUGE fan of the manga, 2003 series and Brotherhood! I could never pick one over the others, but, seeing as they'd already addressed the parallel universe theory in Conqueror of Shamballa, it was the easiest to write in.

Also, anyone who wants to create artwork or suggest an alternative (better) title, I'm open to just about anything anything!

not bad can't say its the best writing ive seen, but its DEFINITELY not the worst. looks like this'll go places, as long as you keep it up i reaally dont know much about FMA, seeing as ive only watched like, the first 10 episodes of brotherhood, then got sidetracked by futurama, and later by ponies, and here i am now. but what i saw was good (and incredibly frightening) stuff. (seriously, that talking chimaera that was actually the little girl scared the living daylights out of me. ) but yeah keep this up!

>>186872186872 Yeah, FMA and Brotherhood are really dark, but so worth watching if you get the chance! Thanks for the critique, I really appreciate any advice I can get. :)

Hopefully the pieces will look more polished as time goes on...I'm still learning the ins and outs of this website.

>>177936177936 >>186872186872

Image: http://i1133.photobucket.com/albums/m585/oL3MONo/My%20Little%20Pony%20-%20Friendship%20is%20Magic/3a7dd77f0920dfa28b9db19cd9d58331.gif

Nice! I can't wait to see what happens next.

I've read a lot of stories where the authors have some trouble finding the right mix of detail and speed for driving the plot, I'm glad to say that I'm not seeing that problem here.

Every good detail, nice ploy, good use of show refrence, and great scene discripsion. Keep it up, can't wait for More.

-WW

very good detail, nice plot, good use of show refrence, and great scene discripsion. Keep it up, can't wait for More.

-WW

Looking good, I just realized another reason why using the movie is a good thing; Ed actual would know enough about automail to make replacements, they wouldn't be as good as Winry's but they would be fully functional. Now the only problem I have is waiting for the next chapter.

THIS WAS AMAZINGLY AWESOME! I love the way you captured the characters!  

Fillies and gentlecolts, it's crossover time!

Anyway, it's pretty good so far; though I think gathering up the gang to make some auto-mail as quickly as you did was a bit rushed. In any case, I'll track for now - rating pending. I await more, so keep up the good work.

Image: http://i1001.photobucket.com/albums/af140/hafizstifler/wtf.jpg

Image: http://i1074.photobucket.com/albums/w409/Dj_Pon-3/AppleJack/35k3nt.jpg

No just kidding i love this

>>187266187266  Yeah, I know what you mean there. It was a bit tricky to balance meeting up with the mane 6, seeing as the focus is meant to be the Elric's. I might go back and redo the second part when I get a chance. Thanks for commenting!

For the love of all that is holy! Make more PLEASE I loved Full metal alcamist,Continue on my good friend!

Image: https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBPPL3uWqw-qt2C8vL_20OFpoN9KBg-9bAI5zZENUVC8GBQSCPkQ

>>187123187123 that aint hatin. lulz.

I like how you type the story. Its easy to read and understand where this is going at. I'm so going to track and watch you man

Definitely a good story man, I am gonna have to follow this. While a lot of people usually demand for chapters to be longer (like with what I'm trying to do now. wanna please my fans) I see that short ones are nice too. They don't drag on and you can release more chapters in a short matter of time. Making your fans happy that updates are coming often.

-DHG BRONY

celestia's solar-flaring orgasms. is this chapter the same author?? so much improvement, bro. top-notch job. seriously, man, this chapter was fabulously written. keep up the awesome!

Image: http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk309/Corvolt/shit-just-got-real.jpg

That is what Edward must be feeling XD

You're writing style is very similar to mine, so I'm happy for you. This story is great! I'll track and favorite. P.S. Just curious, but will Ed get his favorite red overcoat back?

>>188524188524 Thanks so much!

Bro you

must

make

more

or

karma

pinkie

will

come

after

you

HARD

Next chapter now

Finally, you all get to see how Alphonse is doing!

Nice, story is looking good. I imagine Celestia will be getting a letter from Twilight soon.

>>201909201909Next thing you know time has gone faster in germany and Hitler is in power and finds a way into equestria.Or not....i make impossable guesses...

This looks much better than the other FMA/MLP crossover I have read. Well done, thought out, few issues here. Keep up the good work.

The one thing i like the most about this is mostly.....how Celestia interacts with Al who used to be human and explains to her about humans and etc BUT in good details. (Sorry if it sounds a bit off)

I read most crossover stories involve with humans and ponies which I'm fine with that. But some often rush about telling them their humans and explain things too fast I guess. Yours however is just pretty much simple and explanatory so brohoof man, brohoof.

>>201974201974 hitler in equestria... i must write this. of course, i wont. too many other things to write. ah well!

>>201909201909 awesome job here keep it up!

This chapter was the best yet. Well written, informative, well-paced. Nice job. Keep'em of this quality and this will go swimmingly.

>>202141202141 >>202280202280 Thanks a lot! I've been putting a lot of effort into picking out what should and shouldn't be included. Thanks for commenting!

>>202820202820 Be carefull of making it ''to easy'' for Ed and Al!

You may also look for a ''little'' comical relife, concering a two-limbed out-worlders meeting with a certain brash pegasus or a honest and concise earth pony.

>>203039203039 Don't worry, there are plenty of laughs on the way

Ed and Al will have their fair share of difficulties as well

>>203064203064 Then I shall leave this matter in your capable hoofs to....handle?

Keep up the good work!

BTW.... Good chapter.

>>203123203123 Thanks a lot! I really appreciate the input, and the support

YEs i like I LIKE A LOT

i say that this is

Image: http://i1081.photobucket.com/albums/j360/HardRockC0ck/1277604778482.gif

im writing something like this...

fullmetal pony writers brohoof!

Just about lol'd given I'm reading this in Edward's voice specially after Rainbow Dash's. . *ahem* comment on his height. This came to mind

"ErrrrrrRRRRRR I RIP THOSE DAMN WINGS OFF AND STICK EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

Also add much Edward flailing cause. .well that's what he does when he blows a gasket over his height.

I love a good laugh I3

Good work with Fluttershy's introduction there. This really does look good, a few errors here and there, but overall, you are making wonderful progress.

And yes, I lol'd at the short joke.

An excellent chapter, looking forward to their attempt to build a pair of automail limbs for him

Pinkie Pie was just awesome, as expected

Yes

This haz it

THis haz itz so muchz I trackz for morez

I awaitz for morez

:3 okay, i REALLY like the short comments, i saw the cartoon him in my head yelling that exact same thing

i laughed my ass off when RD questionned his height. aah, the classic question and the classic response.

spike returned from his zip-lining expedition with the CMC. and there was much rejoicing.

Excellent

Just sort of...popping in...yeah.

Definitely gonna read this.

Y U NO CONTINUE?!

turtle turtle turlte turlte.

I came.

An excellent chapter, looking forward to the next

Best. Crossover. Ever.

You're trying a bit too hard to cram information into the story. Imagine yourself as Edward in the body of a pony, you're going to have all kinds of questions. Suddenly explaining to Twilight how Auto-mail works, instead of simply answering her question (what is that metal for), doesn't seem too high on the priority list. From the anime doesn't Ed tend to dodge questions/change subject when it involves explaining things he already knows?

Did Al commit some crime? Why is he in a dungeon? If Celestia simply wished to talk to him, does a dungeon feel like a good way to get off on the right hoof? I can picture Al waking up in a guest room or something.

Just a suggestion: Think about how your characters see the world. Every action they take must have some motive behind it. For example, if Ed woke up in the body of a pony he's going to have a ton of questions, one of the most pressing might involve fact he can't find his brother.

Good, ya seem to know what yer doing, and its actually quite an amazing story. Please keep it up.

-WW

yay

ALl I can say is YAY

Because this is fucking awesome

Very good.

>>246018246018

To answer your question about Al in the dungeon, I chose that as his setting because seeing as he'd fallen from a whirling vortex, Celestia might see him as dangerous. For example, if he had been evil, Celestia wouldn't have hesitated to banish him (or something).

Also, as for Edward, I'm keeping him quiet only for the time being. He's 18 now, and should be acting a little more mature. He's just trying to put on a brave face in a world full of strangers, when the time comes, he'll open up. At least a little.

Thanks for the critique, I really do appreciate it. Sadly, a problem in and of itself is that I'm clearly not conveying the message that I want to. I'll work harder on that.

Nahh... I don't like it. It's a nice, well written story, but I found it kinda boring; but that's totally down to my personal tastes and not the quality of the story whatsoever.

Holy shit! I have to tell Zephyr about this!

>>247115247115 Either way, thanks for the input!

O hai.

Coincidence or not, I'm in.

One more to the counter.

>>245872245872 I saw.

P.s. SOMEONE PLEASE finsih the joke!!!

>>247959247959 I conquered.

>>247988247988 W00T!!!

...because that woulda been REALLY bucked up if nobody finished the joke.

>>248050248050 Indeed.

I DEMAND MOAR!!!

Okay, imma leave this here and track you so I can read this on the morrow. for now I got shit to do. Berb.

Allright, finally read it, so far, so good. I await further short jokes.

confound these ponies... they drive me to stay up til 4 am reading fanfiction. ah well, i enjoyed this chapter. keep it up!

Oh my god is that a Friday reference? If that is Kudos to you

>>259900259900 You got it. (;

Oh yea.

OH YEA

OHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

This. Is. Fucking. Awesome.

I wonder if there will be shippings...

'Cause we all know Twi likes smart colts.

>>306074306074 I'll admit the thought crossed my mind...

>>306386306386

So it already crossed your mind?

Image: http://nooooooooooooooo.com/vader.jpg

OMG MOOOOOOOOOOAR!

Oh man! Mustang Got burned!

Anxious for more!

ALLONS-Y!!!

just take your time, don't rush the story or yourself

Good to have ya back though

Thank goodness this was not an april fools joke

LOL he is on the moon...

cant shoot fire in the rain, cant shoot fire without air

to the moon he goes

DAMN.

Wish it wasn't April Foals.

It would have been about time.

God damn lol ha haaaaaaaa. Them guards got owned.