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Verbose Soubriquet

Joined February 2012
125 followers

Assuming direct control...

Stories (1)

Blog Posts (8)


While pursuing a splinter of Hive Fleet Behemoth, Captain Sicarius and the Ultramarines 2nd company are caught in a warp storm that carries them and their prey to an unknown planet.  Meanwhile, Princess Luna notices something strange in space that could spell danger for all of Equestria.  Swept up in a war between the terrifying Tyranid swarm and the vengeful Ultramarines, the ponies must fight for their lives in a war that spans a galaxy.

Thanks to thirdstring_overlord and GiftedMonster for proofreading my newer chapters.  thirdstring_overlord also writes an excellent 40k crossover that needs some fans.  Go check it out!

Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and Warhammer 40k.  They are the properties of their respective owners.

First Published
14th Mar 2012
Last Modified
8th Jan 2013

Comments ( 409 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Well, I finally did it.  I wrote one.

Tell me what you think.  Constructive criticism please.  One big question: am I doing Applejack's and Big Mac's accents right?  Their dialogue was a pain in the exhaust port.

My schedule is kind of hectic, so updates may be slow.  Sorry in advance.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Hey, I've been trying to do the same thing... as of three months ago.

I can't get the character interaction right, and I'm stuck on writing Chapter 1.

Your accents are cool for what that counts, and the idea is also nice. Good job.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Very good AJ's and Bic Mac's accents are perfect.

Definetly tracking this.

I love Warhammer 40k crossovers theres not many of them thats why I like this one already.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Oh lord, Tyranids in Equestria?

It was bad enough with that one fic with the alien coming to Ponyville, this seems to have the potential to be a whole lot worse.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Applejack and big mac's accents are spot on.  We need more Warhammer crossovers, especially good ones. This one is very well written and has earned my track. Good job :twilightsmile:

#6 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Very good writing style, it flows well. The spacemarines are relatable (The scene with the bored Ultramarine really helped here), the ponies act in character, and the spelling and grammar are great. Thumbs up and tracking, I hope to read more.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Praise the Emperor and pass the promethium, people actually like my writing!  (I should use that line more often.)  Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I'm glad you all think I did AJ's and Big Mac's accents right.

The idea for this crossover just spontaneously popped into my head, and I thought "holy balls this could actually work."  There is a disturbing shortage of 40k crossovers out there, so I'm glad that mine is well received.

Now that this chapter is out of the way, I should be able to get to the good parts soon.  As I said earlier, updates might be slow due to my crazy schedule, but I should be able to get on a roll soon.  No spoilers, but we should see some action in the next chapter or two.

Also, a nit-picky question: did I set a reasonable/accurate timeframe in the 40k universe?  I wanted some time where Captain Sicarius could realistically show up and not contradict 40k fluff (tabletop gamer talk for backstory).  If necessary I could make minor changes like that.

Thanks for all your love and tolerance.  Victoris Ultra!

#8 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

yay a Warhammer 40k fic, I dont get enough of these type of Warhammer 40k fics where the Imperium or etc gets transported to Equestria. Your story looks good cant wait for more keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

Seems the Spess Mehrens are making an appearance along with the blasted Tyranids...Keep it up...

#10 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 1d ago · · ·

By the God-Emperor, this tome shall be glorious indeed.

#11 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 8h ago · · ·

The quality of writing was of far higher quality than many I have read, and for the use of punctuation and spacing I thank you!

The dialog and description was extremely well done. Almost felt as if I was reading an actual games workshop novel. The Ponyville part was also very well done. I will be tracking this along with the many above.

I only worry about the complete and total intolerance of ALL Xenos that is indoctrinated into the very genetic makeup of Space Marines. I certainly hope that Captain Sicarius does not choose to unleash the 'extrerminatus' and virus bomb all of Equestria back into the stone age...

For the Emperor, we shall reign victorious!

#12 · Chapter 1 · 110w, 6h ago · · ·

>>328417

Thanks for your feedback.  I have a stack of 40k books as tall as I am as well as at least $600 worth of models, so I would say I know something about 40k.

As for your concerns about the Ultramarines going all "purge the unclean," don't worry.  These are Ultramarines we're talking about, not Iron Hands (probably my favorite Chapter), or Black Templars.  I don't intend to completely skip over the issue, but we won't see a mass extermination.

Thought for the day: "Doubt is a sign of weakness"

#13 · Chapter 1 · 109w, 5d ago · · ·

Well, You've chosen most probably the most tolerating chapter in universe, you know, they even allied with tau once to clean planet from tryanids:)

#14 · Chapter 1 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

Well seeing how current table top time is M41.999 iirc I would say it is a good timeline to have. Worst comes worst stick an Alternate Universe tag.

Glad to see more humanised space marines rather than the robots you get from Dawn of War and some other 40k fiction. Can't wait for chapter two!

#15 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

Chapter 2 is up.  Enjoy.

Again, sorry about the wait.

Once again, tell me what you think.  Constructive criticism only, please.

Sorry about the lack of action.  I do not want to rush into the crossover or the violence, but I can assure you that both are coming.

Thought for the day: "A moment of laxity spawns a lifetime of heresy."

#16 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

This is a really good chapter, the characters are still relatable. I especially like how you had Fluttershy say "Doctor who?" It was hilarious! Everyone still seems to be in character. I can't really think of anything to criticize.

Anyway, keep up the good work!

#17 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 6d ago · · ·

You doing quite well sir, you are keeping the marines in the way in which they should be seen without making it boring. Even if you are writing about the Ultra-marines, should have been black templars, but then that would have made an indefinitely shorter story. As for the lack of action, keep to your ideas and do not rush into them, a rushed scene is a bad scene and offers nothing but scorn that a mutant would receive, but i am looking forward to it. Especially the battle aboard the hulk, in which no doubt will have genestealers and maybe even a brood lord, always a good fight with those around.

As it currently stands you are doing the followers of the forty first millennium well, now keep it up before i report you to my death korps commissar or throw you into the trygon pits. Best of luck and good tidings, Gforce.

#18 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

I cant find anything to critisize really

Its quite well done

And really theres no rush take your time with the chapters

#19 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

If i survived over 50k words of intro in EVE crossover i can easly wait for this one, good job and keep level, because this is at satisfying one.

Also doctor in warhammer crossover? It was like expecting imperial inquisition.

You gonna give him bigger role, or he would be just background character?

#20 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

Ah wonderful chapter and dont worry about the long intro I can wait it helps build up suspense:rainbowdetermined2:, anyway keep up the great work :pinkiehappy:

#21 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

Like the story so far.

Just dont start with linking Celestia and Luna in any connection to the emporer. All three are immortal and godlike, but please dont.

Unless you can find a very original angle on it  :twilightblush:

#22 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 5d ago · · ·

I must be doing something right, because everyone seems to like my writing.

As for the Doctor Who references, don't worry, the Doctor won't be a huge character.  He'll probably just make cameos.  As for the comment about linking Celestia and Luna to the Emperor, don't worry.  I have no intention of doing this, despite their obvious similarities.

Chapter 3 may be slow to arrive, but it will have action, so I'm hoping that it will be worth the wait.

Thought for the day: "Innocence proves nothing."

#23 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 1d ago · · ·

Hmm, a Spess Muhreens come to Equestria fic, eh?

"my doubts will be vindicated."

I think this means the opposite of what you wanted. To vindicate means to prove correct. If his doubts are vindicated, then he was correct to doubt Argus. But Argus was successful, so the doubts weren't correct.

"Not that she minded Big Mac pay her extra attention."

Should be "paying" I think. Also, SHIPPING!?! IN A 40K CROSSOVER!?! I WILL FLAY THE FLESH FROM YOUR SHATTERED BONES AND DRINK THE BLOOD FROM YOUR SKULL AS AN OFFERING TO KHORNE!

...

Sorry, I blacked out for a second. Where was I?

"Power armor and even Terminator armor were more commonplace,"

Really? Maybe compared to a Dreadnought, sure. But the fluff makes it pretty clear that Termie armor is rare.

Other than that, I have very few complaints. I'm not familiar with these specific Ultramarines, but I am getting pretty good characterizations from just about everyone. Description is rich, and I'm willing to wait for the action to pick up.

#24 · Chapter 2 · 108w, 19h ago · 1 · ·

>>381649

WORSHIPPERS OF KHORNE?  PURGE THE HERETICS!

Thanks for pointing out these errors.  I'll fix them.

Also, don't worry.  This story will never have a "shipping" tag.

As for the Ultramarines, don't worry if you don't recognize them.  Sergeant Marcellus, Techmarine Maxilos, Veteran Dannelos, Scout Sergeant Darius, Ancient Maccabeus, and Epistolary Argus are all OCs.  Others, like Sicarius, are straight from my Space Marine Codex.

Thanks for your feedback.  Good to know that there are other 40k fans out there.

Thought for the day: "An open mind is like a fortress with its gates unbarred and unguarded."

#25 · Chapter 1 · 107w, 1d ago · · ·

This pleases me! Sacrifices must be made to Khorne in celebration. BRING FORTH THE GUARDSMEN!!!!

#26 · Chapter 2 · 107w, 1d ago · · 1 ·

Do not listen to inquisipony Stalius, shipping serves the glory of Slannesh and must be continued! All hail Chaos Undevided!

That aside, this is wonderful. The few errors that have been pointed out are really minor and don't lessen the expirience. I am thouroughly hooked. Continue for the glory of Chaos!

#27 · Chapter 2 · 107w, 22h ago · 2 · ·

Are the Space Marines going to go apeshit on the Equestrians like they would with any other alien species? Because if they don't then they become super OOC.

#28 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 17h ago · · ·

Erectin' a Chapter 3

I would've put it up last night, but my laptop battery died on me.  Oh well.

Also, I thought you all deserved a treat, so this chapter is over twice the length of the previous ones.  Enjoy.

You wanted action; here it is.  As always, tell me what I'm doing well and what I could improve on.  Next chapter will probably be slow to arrive (as usual).  Sorry.

Thought for the day: "Suffer not the alien to live."

#29 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 15h ago · · ·

...........................equestrias gonna get messed up soooooo bad:pinkiecrazy:

ALL HAIL THE EMPEROR! :flutterrage:

#30 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 14h ago · · ·

O_O THIS IS AWESOME

Im seriously pumped now I cant wait till you post more of this master piece of a story

#31 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 12h ago · · ·

The action was very good. Overall, the chapter was great.

Applejack seemed a lttle inconsiderate at the end, considering that Twilight and Luna had just collapsed. Other than that, I didn't see anything wrong.

#32 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 11h ago · · ·

The battle was very well written, I especially enjoyed how you described the brood-lord. I did not anticipate the idea of the MLP universe's magic would be able to tap into the warp and the hivemind, an interesting development. Now, a question for you, upon the eventual tyranid land fall, will you be using the fourth, the fifth, or a mix of the two codexes to represent them if only for ideas and gribblies.

#33 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 3h ago · · ·

I'm just gonna guess that your going with the unicorns are psykers type of thing I've seen before if so cool. Anyway wonderful chapter keep up the great work:pinkiehappy:

#34 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 3h ago · 1 · ·

All the positive responses... for the first time in centuries, the ice-encrusted metal void where my hearts used to be has risen a few degrees Kelvin.

>>409985

CHAOS MARINES?  EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS!

My inner Grey Knight aside, glad you liked the story.  But as I said before, this story will never bear a "shipping" tag.  If any shipping does happen, it will be just the sprig of parsley on top of an omelet.

>>411590

I chose the Ultramarines exactly because they are probably the most tolerant chapter in the Imperium.  If it were, say, Black Templars, then the story would turn dark and tragic real quick.

>>413360

I don't actually have any Tyranid codicies, but I play against them regularly.  Currently, I'm drawing from the 40k novel Warriors of Ultramar, as well as some of the Ciaphas Cain books, which often feature Tyranids.  As you could probably tell from the action scenes, the Space Marines will be actual Space Marines.  They're not just 33% tougher and stronger than a normal human.  Don't worry, they won't be utterly unkillable.

Thanks again for taking the time to read a story that I had no idea if it would even work.  It makes the entire job worthwhile.

Thought for the day: "Excuses are the refuge of the weak."

#35 · Chapter 3 · 107w, 1h ago · · ·

>>415480

Ah, i need to read more of the 40k books, my uplifting infantry man's primer just isn't enough, however hilarious as it may be. Anyway, I love how well you are doing in describing the nids, without making them feel like a xenomorph rip off, it makes me a very happy tyranid player. Till your next master crafted chapter dear sir.

thought of the day: "Faith is purest when it is unquestioning"

#36 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

Well I can definitely agree. shit just got real! Lets look at what we have to work with here.

the marines

1) thunderhawk gunship ~ badass dropship with orbital and suborbital capabilities, enough firepower to rock the house, and troops...

2) speaking of troops, we have 5 Terminators w stormbolters and power fists (oh and 1 lovely assault cannon), 5 Assault Terminators with stormshiled and thunder hammer (lightning claws were not mentioned, but 1 or 2 could easily have them too...), 10 of the emperors finest with mixed armaments, 1 chapter captain with glory and hate vs the tyranid in his heart, 1 Apothecary to patch up the wounded, 1 Techmarine who can fix anything so long as he uses a monotone voice, and 1 Librarian whose powers are on the fritz due to the tyranids...  That's a whole can o whop-ass incoming!

on the bad side

3) 4 (count 'em!) hive ships. For those who don't know, these things are monstrous in size. Think the biggest baddest juggernaut in space you can and quadruple it, then double that... ya, they are F'n hugemoungus!  and they can easily house thousands upon thousands of bugs, (ya I know they really are not bugs, but common.. they're bugs!) some of em are super psychics and other horrible nasties...

and on defense...

4) Equestria- Magical world of talking ponies and other fantastic mythical creatures. No military to speak of excepting the palace guard (who likely have not actually fought in anything...). Limited technology, but has massive magical abilities! Since psychers and Magic are completely different, the Tyranids might be in for a nasty surprise... and I'm not talking about a surprise Pinky party, or am I?

In any event, well written! I can not wait to see what is yet to come!

Thought of the day, "Knowledge is power, hide it well!"

#37 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

>>416529

Just reading your list of all my firepower brings joy to my emotional circuits.  Seeing as you took the time to list all this, I think I'll clarify some stuff.

The Ultramarines' 2nd Company is at full company strength, meaning 100 Marines, a Captain, and a pair of Dreadnoughts.  As I mentioned earlier, their Chaplain is currently serving with the Deathwatch.

They are joined by an Epistolary (high-ranking Librarian), some Techmarines (of which Maxilos is the highest-ranked), a 10-strong squad of Terminators, a Venerable Dreadnought (pretty much just an extremely old and experienced Dreadnought), and a 10-strong squad of Scout Marines.  Along with this, they have a full complement of transports, and combat vehicles.  I'm consulting my Space Marine Codex right now, and it says nothing about the numbers of combat vehicles or Thunderhawks that a company can use at a time, so I'll figure this out as I go.  Rest assured, there will be plenty of rolling thunder to go around.

Those extreme 40k nerds will probably have noticed that not all the Marines' wargear and/or organization is perfectly in line with the fluff (backstory/canon).  In the 5th Ed. Marines Codex, Techmarines cannot use conversion beamers, but I thought that Maxilos was enough of a senior Techmarines to get one.  Next, Terminator Sergeants can't take powerfists, which always struck me as odd, so I gave Marcellus one anyway.  Third, I'm writing with everyone having all possible wargear options available, so the entire Terminator squad could have melee weapons or guns as their situation demands.  For clearing out the space hulk, I split the squad in half, giving them a mix of ranged and melee firepower.  I'll probably do the same with the command squad at some point.

Wow, another long-winded speech.  But I'm glad that fellow 40k nerds are reading this, and they all seem to approve.

Thought for the day: "Knowledge is power, and we must seek it relentlessly."

#38 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

I'm glad that you clarified what a full complement would consist of, mainly due to me being a very old-school 40k gamer (I played in the now forgotten 1st and second editions... wow I must be old!) and don't know what a 'full complement' would actually consist of. My only real question is this, how are the marines gonna get the whole battle-barge through the rapidly diminishing warp gate? I was under the impression that the Thunderhawk gunship was barely in range and only if they put the peddle to the metal! May be just my interpretation, and likely wrong, just wondering. :) Great fic, though I may have mentioned that once or twice already....

Thought for the day: "Faith is my Shield."

#39 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

>>415480 Oh I don't demand shipping (in fact it doesn't need it) but I couldn't help make the Slannesh refrence.  

#40 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

>>418164

I have a habit of responding to a lot of comments, don't I?  Of course, I don't have a huge amount of readers (wink wink nudge nudge cough cough), so I can actually take the time to respond to those who post comments (not to sound like I'm greedy for readers.  I mean this sentence in the most non-whiny way possible).

You seriously played 1st and 2nd Editions?  Whoa.  I didn't even start until 5th.  I guess I'll have to make extra sure I follow the fluff.

And just to clarify, the Valin's Revenge is a Strike Cruiser, not a Battle-Barge.  As for your concern, the entire premise of this story is that ponies meet 40k races/characters, so everyone can safely assume that both the Tyranids and Ultramarines will arrive in Equestria.  If they all died in the warp storm, it wouldn't make much of story.  For the third time, thanks for your praise.  Glad to know a true 40k veteran likes my work.

>>419929

At the risk of sounding like a ridiculous combo of nerdiness and romanticness (are those even the right words for this?), the only shipping (if it can even be called that) that would serve Slaanesh is *shudder* clopfics.  I have no intention of aiding the Ruinous Powers here.  If any shipping appears, it will be, well, clean, and like I said earlier, "a sprig of parsley on top of an omelet."

And a general question: after Chapter 4 goes up, I was considering submitting the story to Equestria Daily.  There are disappointingly few 40k fics there.  What do you guys think?

Thought for the day: "Faith is purest when it is unquestioning."

#41 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 6d ago · · ·

I say submit it to EQD and see what they think

#42 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 5d ago · · ·

>>420250

I have an idea for ya... up to you if you like it... but...

http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/0972d3054e0cd359ef5131b3ac6c9891/64778%20-%20artist%3ASanity-X%20comic%20crossover%20ponyhammer%20space_marine%20war%20warhammer_40k.jpg

yes I am a sick, sick woof to have found this for ya!

thought of the day~  He who lives for nothing is nothing. He who dies for the Emperor is a hero.

#43 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 5d ago · · ·

>>420884

I must admit, that comic made me laugh.  I loved Space Marine, even though it felt like "Baby's First 40k Game" (which it kinda was).  I applaud you for being a loyal reader and a true 40k veteran, but what is the idea you're suggesting?  Are you suggesting that I use the comic for my story's picture if I submit to EQD? (as I remember, they have some rule about all story pictures needing to have ponies, and as awesome as Captain Sicarius is, I don't think my current picture would make it through).  I love the comic, but what I'd like to avoid in my story (and in any crossover really) is to essentially just write 40k with ponies copy-pasted in.  In my thought processor, the point of a crossover is to throw two different universes into the same room and see what happens.  Essentially, I don't want to see ponies in Terminator armour.  The great thing about crossing over 40k and ponies is that they are so drastically different.  Emphasizing that difference between them is my favorite part of writing this story.

Wow, I go off on more tangents than a malfunctioning graphing calculator.

Getting back to my original thought, what do my readers think of submitting to EQD?  It would certainly get me more readers, but the readers there tend to be more... diehard, if that term can be used here.  What do you think?

Thought for the day: "Even the man who has nothing can still offer his life."

#44 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 5d ago · · ·

Oh my goodness, just read chapter three....so freaken awesome! Submit it to EQD. If they can't see how great this story is than they are a bunch of morons!

a3V
#45 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 1h ago · · ·

Kind of curious, will genestealers be able to affect ponies?

#46 · Chapter 3 · 106w, 59m ago · · ·

Now this is some quality work. I'm curious, though: does this mean that they reach Equestria through some freak accident while traveling through the warp and end up in an entirely different dimension? Because the whole concept of an untouched world in the middle of the spheres of influence of 40K seems highly unlikely.

#47 · Chapter 4 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

Open the door, get on the floor,

Everybody look, it's Chapter Four!

Yes, I'm terrible.

Sorry about the huge wait.  This chapter just went on forever.  I honesty did not intend for it to be this huge.  But oh well, more for you guys to read.

Anyway, this should be the chapter that you've all been waiting for.  Ponies meet 40k.  Enjoy.

Also, I will be submitting this to Equestria Daily, so brace yourselves.  New readers will most likely be coming.

Thought for the day: "A small mind is easily filled with faith."

#48 · Chapter 4 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

Now that's a chapter!!!

I like the way that the ponies are now under the protection of the UltraMarines!

OK, their safety is 'in the hands of', but tell me that isn't killer!

I enjoyed this greatly! Thank you!

#49 · Chapter 4 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

Nice chapter. You mis-spelled "Macragge" as "Maccrage" or something of the likes, by the way.

Also nice to see you snuck in a Lyra joke in there, too. :pinkiehappy:

Huge is no matter, Battle-Brother Sobriquet. Anyone who has read a 40K novel shouldn't have any problems with length.

#50 · Chapter 4 · 104w, 5d ago · · ·

holy fuck

this fic is sexual

tracked as fuck

you're fucking great at writing stuff

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