Remember, ALWAYS caplize the names of the ponies and other creatures, and Princess is with a capital p, be sure to capilze the i's as well, this is good but it really needs to be re-edited. Come on bro, you should know English And Peewee some how just disappears......hoW odd GO DERPY!!!!! She's with the Goddess of the Sun so she'll be fine NEXT!!!

2227414

I added where Peewee is at :p and i thought i looked over everything >.< gawr i will do better!

2227476 Huh, did I just not see it before? Peewee is my favorite out of all the eight pets, and yep, might have to go over both chapters again bro

Errors. Errors Everywhere! Good story though brosky. Look forward to next chapter

Ugh, so many errors on the title page alone!

After receiving a letter from Princess Celestia, [pointless comma] stating that Twilight and the others wont [won't] be coming back for a long amount of time [ for a long time] ,
[...]
A dragons [dragon's] decision

And that's how you scare of readers!

there wasnt that many errors in my opinion
(probly because I've seen worse)
other than an uncapitalized 'i' in I'll
and the not separating quotes from paragraphs(though I see no one's touched on that subject, so im debunking it as optional)
but overall, they're minor errors that I couldnt care less about

The number of errors makes this regrettably unreadable. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, Derpy, I, Spike, Celestia, and any other proper name are capitalized. You failed to put in quotation marks (") at the beginning of dialogue constantly. Plus, you have spaces between quotations and the words and you didn't capitalize those. Then, you have words that shouldn't be capped.

Celestia Dropped a wing over Twilight and nuzzled her" oh Twilight it is ok, you couldn't have known that he was feeling this way if he never spoke up."

Celestia dropped a wing over Twilight and nuzzled her, "Oh, Twilight, it is okay. You couldn't have known that he was feeling this way if he never spoke up."

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Yes i am aware there are errors and i will do my best to fix them.

2230076

I think people need to just enjoy a good read instead of being grammar Nazi's. :p

2229595

thank you for your corrections

The idea of the story seems solid, but it does seem a bit...I don't know, rushed, maybe?

I'll be keeping an eye on this, though

Your story has potential, it just needs somepony to have a proofreader to make sure there are no errors and is readable.

Interesting so far. Any chance spike will meet a dragoness in this?

2418901 I plan certin things for this story but i won't reveal much but your going to love it so plaese stay tuned

Maybe this story can get better, lets see.

this will be fun to read

any who

if i were spike i don't think there would be much convincing me to come back unless they could prove to me

2510376 we have no doubts

I got to admit I am interested in this soon to be troop of outcast and misfits. I really want to see Spike and Derpy together (Spike would make a great stepdad lol).I always loved that pairing,and with yours i feel that would be nice compliment to each other characters. Can't wait for the next update.

i.imgur.com/O6DNVq6.jpg
We Wait.

Please update.

Is this story dead? I like this story so far!