I don't know, man. I just don't think you will be able to top Pinkie's chapter. Spike's was probably the most normal. He just needs a proper biology lesson.
Top notch! It's just so entirely appropriate that Spike would be among the best of the group in grammar and basic writing skills, even if he does need some anatomy lessons. Twilight's reaction is delightfully in character as well -- a little squicked, certainly not looking forward to The Talk, but immediately ready to help forward his education without blame or censure.
I would dearly love to see a chapter or two about the other characters' reactions to Twilight's editorial notes, but at the same time, I'm not sure that wouldn't spoil the stylistic framework. Either way, this story is a lot of fun.
great. He knows how to write he just doesn't know the specifics of what he is writing about. Which makes this very good. Its like the oposite of the others in which 1 They know what they are talking about but can't write about it. 2 he doesn't know what he is talking about but can write very well.
I laughed so hard... now I wanna know how everyone reacts... then we get her reading either luna's or Celestia's clopfic.
I would actually be terrified of Celestia's, and more so of Luna's, clopfics. They've been around for a long time. What they would consider normal might put other ponies in straightjackets and therapy sessions for unusual, traumatic fetishes.
Believe me, I've seen stuff in an old folk's home...
...I'm done. I can't handle anymore. I think I may have actually busted a gut with this one. If I read anymore of these, I stand a very real chance of dying if they turn out like this.
Omg Spike! My throught is painfully dry I am laughing so hard! (Or maybe it's because I'm sick today.) Anyways this was so amazingly akward and strange and perfect how spike thought anatomy was.
2678361 Oh please. If they've truly lived over 1,000 years, I think those two would have learned one way or another how to properly hide such writings.
As a matter of fact, why would they be writing this stuff? They're running a country, I doubt they'd spend their free time writing such erotica, in such a poor state.
2678427 Exactly they spend most of their time running a country with no time to do anything so they write in their spare time. Boring noble giving a speech you don't care about write... National emergency with everyone running around and the elements going and saving they day while you watch. write.... yeah they have plenty of time to write. Also Celestia sends luna's as a prank/ she sends her own by accident.
2678427>>2678458>>2678256 The problem with writing the princesses (at least Celestia) is that they'd probably be pretty good at it, and while I can write humorous and intentionally bad material pretty well, writing something that's supposed to be good probably wouldn't end well. It's the main reason I probably won't do a "Twilight writes a clopfic to show them how it's done" chapter; it would have to be so good that it would end up falling flat. Celestia would have a thousand years of erotic writing experience, which needless to say, is more than I have.
Oddly enough, I think this works quite well. Spike lives in a library and spends a lot of time assisting Twilight with her work, so it makes perfect sense that - when it comes to writing - he actually knows what he's doing when it comes to the technical aspects of writing. On the other hand, it also makes sense that he doesn't yet know much about sex itself, but wants to fantasize, meaning he probably looked up a list of body parts involved in reproduction and a list of sexual acts, and put them together in a way he thought would work.
All in all, very believable as Spike's story, a realistic reason as to why Twilight's proofreading it, and wonderful awkwardness when they - obviously - go to talk about it. (btw, still hoping for either extra or bonus chapters where we actually see those discussions!) Also, Twilight's quip was hilarious.
Dude you get 10/10 Cause that shit was funny and Twilight has nopony to blame but herself for Spike's lack of the sexual anatomy of ponies.
Man this had me laughing from the first paragraph. And this may sound crazy but I hope you do everyone's response to Twilight's comments. Because after Spike's story I really, REALLY want to hear from all of them. Especially Spike, because whether ' the talk' comes from Twilight or Celestia, it is surely going to be one hell of a awkward, funny and probably hot and bothered time. Cause there will also be diagrams.
2678605 but you get to write some pretty freaky shit... or you could just do Cadance.. OH GOD think about twilight proofreading a clopfic between Cadance and her Brother or if Cadance is feeling really frisky Twilight and her brother.. oh god think of the look on twilights face as she read it.
thats what she said anyway you should totally write chapters where Twilight confronts each of the mane six and Spike showing the aftermath/ fallout of their stories
"I figured it would be amusing to have at least one chapter that revolves around a character who utterly fails to know anything about anatomy or what sexual slang means. " Yeah, but that is expected of a baby dragon, thus it wasn't funny. It would have been better for some other character. Also the "This is well written" would have turned out funnier without it. For chapter "Spike II": A a well written near perfect story, where he puts his superior tongue to use to give his partner's naughty bits and alabaster horn attention with Twilight saying it's obviously Rarity until Twilight comes back form her pet playdate and the mare spreads her wings and takes flight out of the library window with the words "Don't tell Twilight I was here, till next week, I'll miss you." Later: "Twilight did you know a Dragon's tongue can lick your fallopian tubes?" Or even better: Spike sexing up the Everfree Dragon DID all that stuff with her to make up for the Gems he stole.
2679393 I disagree, some humor stems from WTF factor, but some extends from how well it fits with your own expectations that no matter how it likely isn't true, you still want to believe it is.
You're having the characters perform a whole litany of physically impossible actions. Anyone who knows even a little bit about sexual anatomy is going to be laughing their heads off at this.
"I'm coming," she said as he had sex with her anus.
It was a tremendous pain in the ass
ICWUTUDIDTHAR. But jokes aside, this needed more sex slang. I saw 'felch' and 'blow.' It needs a reference to a Dirty Sanchez or Donkey Punching. Come on!
As an aside, Discord's fic would be this entire thing and when Twilight points out the impossibility of it all, he'll prove her wrong because he's Discord.
Spike's only real problem is his lack of appropriate knowledge on anatomy, especially down there. Once he does, it'll be a decent Sparity clop. If it involves him using his flexible tongue on her horn, I'm sure she'll be a little curious given her own fic.
2678605 Everyone wants to know what the princesses would write but how do you think Discord would fare in writing a clopfic? Would anything he wrote even be considered a fic?
2679885 Sweetie would have the best grammar and spelling, Scoots would probably write a blatant self insert with Rainbow Dash, and Applebloom... Uhh, I don't know. It'd probably be something screwed up, like... Babs, or something.
Why? Why is this part making me laugh so hard? Oh sweet merciful god.
awwww, my comment was wrong. I predicted Spike but I thought it would have Twilight herself involved in some way. Still, hilarious stuff.
I don't know, man. I just don't think you will be able to top Pinkie's chapter. Spike's was probably the most normal. He just needs a proper biology lesson.
Somebody needs to blow the whistle! Spike is committing "misuse of a thesaurus" fouls all over the place!
...or maybe a biology textbook.
Brilliant. I lost it there. You MUST write a chapter showing them having "the talk".
Another brilliant chapter. I bow to your creativeness.
Top notch! It's just so entirely appropriate that Spike would be among the best of the group in grammar and basic writing skills, even if he does need some anatomy lessons. Twilight's reaction is delightfully in character as well -- a little squicked, certainly not looking forward to The Talk, but immediately ready to help forward his education without blame or censure.
I would dearly love to see a chapter or two about the other characters' reactions to Twilight's editorial notes, but at the same time, I'm not sure that wouldn't spoil the stylistic framework. Either way, this story is a lot of fun.
great. He knows how to write he just doesn't know the specifics of what he is writing about. Which makes this very good. Its like the oposite of the others in which 1 They know what they are talking about but can't write about it. 2 he doesn't know what he is talking about but can write very well.
I laughed so hard... now I wanna know how everyone reacts... then we get her reading either luna's or Celestia's clopfic.
YUP I AM FUCKING CRYING I'M LAUGHING SO HARD HOLY FUCK
2678178
I would actually be terrified of Celestia's, and more so of Luna's, clopfics. They've been around for a long time. What they would consider normal might put other ponies in straightjackets and therapy sessions for unusual, traumatic fetishes.
Believe me, I've seen stuff in an old folk's home...
Ew
Ew
Eweweweeewewewewew!
EEEEEEEEWWWWWW
NO
NO
NNNOOOOOOO
GODDAMMIT SPIKE
YOU FUCKED UP
AGAIN
...I'm done. I can't handle anymore. I think I may have actually busted a gut with this one. If I read anymore of these, I stand a very real chance of dying if they turn out like this.
relevant
I shudder to think what will happen if and when Twi ends up reading some of Discord's clop fics.
2678256 Exactly... now imagine twi reading it. With luna most likely writinng about her...Oh GOD i laughed just from the mental image.
Omg Spike! My throught is painfully dry I am laughing so hard! (Or maybe it's because I'm sick today.) Anyways this was so amazingly akward and strange and perfect how spike thought anatomy was.
2678361 Oh please. If they've truly lived over 1,000 years, I think those two would have learned one way or another how to properly hide such writings.
As a matter of fact, why would they be writing this stuff? They're running a country, I doubt they'd spend their free time writing such erotica, in such a poor state.
2678427 Exactly they spend most of their time running a country with no time to do anything so they write in their spare time. Boring noble giving a speech you don't care about write... National emergency with everyone running around and the elements going and saving they day while you watch. write.... yeah they have plenty of time to write. Also Celestia sends luna's as a prank/ she sends her own by accident.
Spike...
webmemes.org(gtfo)
YOU KNOW NOT OF WHICH YOU SPEAK!!
Oh, good story.
Oh man, Spike has got to be the most funniest one yet.
2678340
Just what I was thinking. It needs to happen.
Damn, that was funny. I think I hurt myself laughing
2678496 They just need one that starts like...
Great!!
2678427>>2678458>>2678256 The problem with writing the princesses (at least Celestia) is that they'd probably be pretty good at it, and while I can write humorous and intentionally bad material pretty well, writing something that's supposed to be good probably wouldn't end well. It's the main reason I probably won't do a "Twilight writes a clopfic to show them how it's done" chapter; it would have to be so good that it would end up falling flat. Celestia would have a thousand years of erotic writing experience, which needless to say, is more than I have.
Oddly enough, I think this works quite well. Spike lives in a library and spends a lot of time assisting Twilight with her work, so it makes perfect sense that - when it comes to writing - he actually knows what he's doing when it comes to the technical aspects of writing. On the other hand, it also makes sense that he doesn't yet know much about sex itself, but wants to fantasize, meaning he probably looked up a list of body parts involved in reproduction and a list of sexual acts, and put them together in a way he thought would work.
All in all, very believable as Spike's story, a realistic reason as to why Twilight's proofreading it, and wonderful awkwardness when they - obviously - go to talk about it. (btw, still hoping for either extra or bonus chapters where we actually see those discussions!) Also, Twilight's quip was hilarious.
2677172 That's because it's hosted on Derpibooru, which is currently down for maintenance.
2677996 Yeah I'm not even going to attempt to top Pinkie's chapter in terms of pure "what the fuck?" factor.
2678340
You know, it might not be very different from Spike's, except in his case what Spike described would actually be happening.
Dude you get 10/10
Cause that shit was funny and Twilight has nopony to blame but herself for Spike's lack of the sexual anatomy of ponies.
Man this had me laughing from the first paragraph. And this may sound crazy but I hope you do everyone's response to Twilight's comments. Because after Spike's story I really, REALLY want to hear from all of them. Especially Spike, because whether ' the talk' comes from Twilight or Celestia, it is surely going to be one hell of a awkward, funny and probably hot and bothered time. Cause there will also be diagrams.
2678605 but you get to write some pretty freaky shit... or you could just do Cadance.. OH GOD think about twilight proofreading a clopfic between Cadance and her Brother or if Cadance is feeling really frisky Twilight and her brother.. oh god think of the look on twilights face as she read it.
You could go with a Twilight clopfic that acidentally got sent to Celestia, perhaps in revenge for this one.
Some reptiles do, in fact, have two penises. Fun fact right there.
...
...
Spike and Rarity sittin' in a tree, c-l-o-p-i-n-g!
thats what she said anyway you should totally write chapters where Twilight confronts each of the mane six and Spike showing the aftermath/ fallout of their stories
Why the hell haven't I read this sooner? This shit's GREAT!
Especially Pinkie's chapter... I.... Stand with Twilight on that. I can't eat cake.
Least, not for the longest of times.
~Skeeter The Lurker
i.imgur.com/mqaXNo7.jpg
"I figured it would be amusing to have at least one chapter that revolves around a character who utterly fails to know anything about anatomy or what sexual slang means. "
Yeah, but that is expected of a baby dragon, thus it wasn't funny. It would have been better for some other character. Also the "This is well written" would have turned out funnier without it. For chapter "Spike II": A a well written near perfect story, where he puts his superior tongue to use to give his partner's naughty bits and alabaster horn attention with Twilight saying it's obviously Rarity until Twilight comes back form her pet playdate and the mare spreads her wings and takes flight out of the library window with the words "Don't tell Twilight I was here, till next week, I'll miss you."
Later: "Twilight did you know a Dragon's tongue can lick your fallopian tubes?"
Or even better: Spike sexing up the Everfree Dragon DID all that stuff with her to make up for the Gems he stole.
I was expecting Twilight to be mad about Spike writing porn.
2679393
I disagree, some humor stems from WTF factor, but some extends from how well it fits with your own expectations that no matter how it likely isn't true, you still want to believe it is.
Do a 'Celestia proofreads Twilight's creation about herself' chapter :3
Yep, its time for the talk.
Somebody here needs a little lesson in anatomy.
2678598 That's too articulate compared to the stories we've seen so far. Although, it would probably be the quiet one that writes the best...
ICWUTUDIDTHAR. But jokes aside, this needed more sex slang. I saw 'felch' and 'blow.' It needs a reference to a Dirty Sanchez or Donkey Punching. Come on!
As an aside, Discord's fic would be this entire thing and when Twilight points out the impossibility of it all, he'll prove her wrong because he's Discord.
2678521 Oh no... I can see it now...
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CLOPFIC WRITERS!"
2678706 But who would his, ahem, partner be? Fluttershy? Celestia?
The worst part is I could see Discord trolling Twilight like that just for the hay of it.
I feel like you deserve a thumbs up just for the title, fan art and description.
Spike's only real problem is his lack of appropriate knowledge on anatomy, especially down there. Once he does, it'll be a decent Sparity clop. If it involves him using his flexible tongue on her horn, I'm sure she'll be a little curious given her own fic.
2678605
Everyone wants to know what the princesses would write but how do you think Discord would fare in writing a clopfic? Would anything he wrote even be considered a fic?
2679885 Sweetie would have the best grammar and spelling, Scoots would probably write a blatant self insert with Rainbow Dash, and Applebloom... Uhh, I don't know. It'd probably be something screwed up, like... Babs, or something.
2678158 It was hilarious!
but then I was late for my first class
whoopsies
2679891
It's discord, so it might just be that he creates a female version of himself.
2679232 Just have them all get together in a room where Twilight snaps.