(Not So) Happy Birthday, Gummy

by BrooklynBrony357

Rainbow Dash's Letter To Princess Celestia

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today, I learned two new things about the magic of friendship. The first thing that I learned is that you should always be honest, not just to your friends, but to everypony you meet, because lying is the absolute worst thing you can do to anypony. I learned this lesson the hard way, when I tried to get the new book in the Daring Do series through lying to Pinkie Pie. I made her mad, and risked losing a close friendship. I also learned that true friends stick together, through thick and thin. I learned this because even when there are problems in a friendship, the best of friends always stick together, no matter what. Just like when Discord attacked and made us all lose track of our true selves, we all sticked together and used the power of friendship to beat him.

Always loyal,

Rainbow Dash

Author's Note:

needs to be 1000 words, eh?

lolfriendshipletter

Comments

[Bradel]

Perhaps understandably, I feel an almost pathological need to read pet-based stories when I see them come up.

Congratulations on your first story, and welcome to Fimfiction! This is a cute little story, though it could definitely do with a bit of editing: a run through a spell-checker and a scan to make sure the story is appearing as you intend for your readers. There's a kind of odd spot where a paragraph is broken in two near the top of Ch. 2 or 3 I believe. I know the friendship letter on the end was just there for you to get to 1000 words, but I think that's probably one of the stronger points of the story – this is a pretty simple conflict to resolve, and it improves your story to have RD address that issue at the end. I also liked that you have the beginning of IC tone for RD and Pinkie. It's not too hard to tell who's saying which lines, even without direct attribution. This could definitely benefit with some expansion to give us a little more detail of action or of the mental state of your perspective character, but that's something to keep in mind for the future.

Good luck writing!

[ElementOfHope]

Really snuck under the radar with that one huh? but i digress...this was a pretty good story but it could have been longer really going into more ponies emotions other than just the one and gummy if you wanted lolz. still it was a good story and i hope to here from you again

[Shimmer Mint]

Cute little story! ^^ Short, sweet, and to the point!
However, detail definitely could have been in there a little more. It would have been a nice touch :)

[koenigseggfan14]

great lesson! nice simple story i liked it!

[BrooklynBrony357]

2151628
oops

2151388
yeah it was probably broken because i typed it in notepad because i didn't have internet connection

thanks everyone on all the nice comments

[octavia1997]

i loved it. very much. just becuase it is a dashie pinkie fic and it was so cute. very cute supper cute super dupper gummy cute derpy cute i like it that much.

keep it up