- Member Since 22nd Sep, 2012
- offline last seen 7 minutes ago
StormHoof32
A writer who enjoys putting a smile on peoples faces. If a story makes you smile, I've done my job. :)
StormHoof32
Joined 22nd Sep, 2012 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Art Inspired · 2.3k words · 119 15 · 1.9k views
- DragonKing · 7.2k words · 18 17 · 709 views
Stats
Page generated in 0.095 seconds
Total duration
962 users online
313,143 hits today, 2,782,760 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I liked this one. I wish that there were more Luna stories out there, but I guess I'll have to wait for cool people like you to be the ones to deliver.
Maybe it went a little too fast?
It's better to build a relation slow and steady, rather than having "oh i kinda like you let's get freaky" right away.
There's promise in there, just keep it in mind to next time.
Pretty good. ^.^ I have a hobby of just clopping and clopping xD this did the trick, I like it. :3
It's decent pointless clop. 3/5 flutteryays.
I agree with blue yellow noble but despite that it was really good.
TS;RA
Needs to be about 10% longer, and It'd be really good. You should state that Luna was bored and tired of being alone and wants to find her special somepony.
it was good
2082427 it was just a quicky thing that popped into my head. Wasnt supposed to be as good as u guys seem to think. Lol.
i'd agree with almost everyone about how this was a big quick-fic, now the story's plot (not Luna's plot you silly ponies) is faded in that text and i can see it vaguely. All you have to do is just add another chapter building off that plot. but for a quick-fic this was a VERY good story it takes alot for me to like a quicky. again great story just needs a little more words and a few chapters
i'd be more then happy to push some ideas your way for this fic if you'd need them just gimme a message or something
thumbs up and faved
*slams head into desk with every bit of his strength*
*San Andreas fault finally snaps*
That's better.
Pointless clop is pointless.
I found the set up very poorly thought out not much time put into it
2450532 im aware of that.
2457511
Was Luna a virgin before mating with Night Shade? Because, if she had been on some level promiscuous or had mates before him, it comes across as more believable, because otherwise it just escalates way too quickly. If however, it's written clop for the sake of clop, then pay my comment no mind. Or perhaps, having her be a nympho, and screwing a guard stallion till he can't walk, or a noble, plutocrat or a page or even all of them. Or have her be in her heat season, her hormones overpowering her restraints of logic and reason. Because as it stands, Luna behaving as she does just doesn't fit her character, without a backstory, or character building to help illustrate her actions
Also, Night Shade also comes across as unbelievable. He's only heard of her, or read of her. Is his attraction to her motivated by hero worship, because she's an example of a pony who can overcome her negative, darker self, with the help of other ponies? Or perhaps it's more carnal attraction, seeing her image in the pony equivalent of Playboy or Hustler, etc. Perhaps he encountered her during a Nightmare Night and observed her interactions from afar, and was attracted to her because of how she interacted with other ponies? Because, otherwise his attraction and lust comes across as illogical or unreasonable.
If this is just written for the sake of clop, then it could use some kind of method of execution. Heat Season, Aphrodisiacs, Pheremones, seduction, an erotic spell gone awry, a full moon, or crafting the characters so that promiscuity is the norm for them.
2581585 It was none of what you said. haha. I was bored, so I wrote this. lol.
Does mine have a glitch? theres only 366 words, and no clop or ANYTHING
4768800 its not a glitch and I'm in the process of rewriting it. So it'll be a while before its ready. But when it is I will personally let u know.
4785396 Ahhh okk, thx m8! Was just wonderin, wouldnt want such talents to got to waste!
Stay Classy /)
4785396
It probably shouldn't be tagged as "Complete", then. (Though personally I would have preferred keeping the original version online and starting the expanded version as a new story.)