Chapter 8: And that fillies and colts...
Chapter 8: And that Fillies and Colts…
I was sleeping very peacefully until I felt a hoof nudging my side gently. I wasn’t sure how long I had been sleeping’ but one thing I did know; there wasn’t much light outside yet.
“Dan today is the day you have your talk at Cheerilee’s class; rise and shine.” I opened one eye and looked at her; she was fully awake and full of energy at whatever she ran on.
“Mmm…wha time it?” I couldn’t form a coherent sentence at this point in the morning; luckily since raising Spike Twilight had been able to master the dialect of “not early risers”.
“Well it’s about six in the morning at the moment I thought it would be a good time to get up so we can do a little prepare work before you go to the school…”
“No.” I stated plainly from my position on the bed.
“Ok good so let….what do you mean no?” she managed to catch herself.
“Today…I’m not getting up before ten so please come back later…if you have any important news leave a message after the beep…” I said struggling not to yawn as I rolled over and tried to back to sleep.
“Beep?...what bee…”
“BBEEEEPP!!!” I said loudly to interrupt Twilight in hopes that she might get annoyed and leave; leaving me to fall into sweet slumber for a couple of hours more.
“Uggh sometimes I wonder why I try…” she said as she started to leave the room.
“Cause you’re a cute and caring mare” I said still in my position facing away from her
“Wha? What is that suppo…”
“But you could be even cuter and more caring if you let people sleep in.”
“Ugh fine I get it you big meanie.” She huffed as she left the room.
After she was gone I finally heard Spike’s voice from his bed.
“Dude that was awesome….do you think you can teach me to do that?”
“No prob Spike but lets get some more shut eye first.”
“I’m with you on that brother.”
And with that Spike and I got four more hours of sleep that someone usually does in living with Twilight Sparkle. I woke up normally around ten to see the sun shining bright through the balcony windows. I got up and stretched like normal as I made my way towards the main room. I was about to start down the stairs when I walked into a magenta force field…face first. Thankfully it wasn’t like a brick wall but more squishy.
“Not so fast there Mr.
“Mmmfts up Twiliff?” I said with my face still squished against her bubble. She sighed and released the field which made a satisfying popping noise.
“Ummm I don’t know how to put this delicately so I’m just going to come right out with it….you smell…”
“Oh is that all?” I had completely forgotten that it had been over a day since I had taken anything resembling a shower or a bath
“How do you take things like this so nonchalantly?”
“Years of experience Twilight. Year of experience.”
“Well anyway I think it would be in your best interest if you went to the school not smelling…bad…The shower is upstairs opposite from the bedroom.”
“Got it.” I said as I turned around and hopped back upstairs. The bathroom wasn’t exactly people sized but it wasn’t so small as to hinder me. And I have to say Twilight despite not looking the type had a variety of shampoos and other shower things. Maybe she took lessons from Rarity…. Either way I picked showered quickly, dried myself off, and put on a new set of clothes for the day.
Finally after doing all that I walked downstairs and was greeted by a delightful scent of dough and syrup. I walked into the kitchen and Saw Twilight and Spike sitting at the table enjoying in decent sized piles of pancakes. As I sat Twilight asked me a question.
“Feeling better after a shower Dan?”
“Oh yeah; sometimes hot water just feels great and helps wake you up.” I said before I dug into my breakfast with fervor.
“Hungry much Dan? Your acting like it will try to escape.” Twilight joked at me. Truth be told after yesterday I felt full of energy but really hungry. Maybe my stomach was adjusting to the food and how good it was; so it craved more of it.
“Hey when the cooking is good just eat it.”
“I guess that’s one of you less wise sayings.” Dang she was on a roll today for getting me with jokes.
“Probably…oh by the way the lavender shampoo is pretty nice.” I wasn’t totally sure why I was complementing her shampoo but it seemed like the nice thing to do.
“You…you used my shampoo?!?!”
“Well yeah. I mean I didn’t exactly bring mine. And I also found it funny that a lavender furred mare uses a lavender scented shampoo.
On an embarrassed scale of one to ten Twilight was at about a seven at the moment. I guess she didn’t expect me to use her shampoo…glad I didn’t use her toothbrush.
“ohwellit’snothingIjustthoughtitwentwellandohwouldyoulookatthetimeweshouldheadoutfortheschoolnow.” She said in one continuous sentence as she tried to hide the blush on her face.
After setting the dishes in the sink we headed out towards the schoolyard. Along the way we met up with the rest of the girls who greeted me in their own way. Applejack tipped her hat to him just like he had seen in western movies. Fluttershy just nodded meekly and fell into line. Rainbow gave me a fly by and blew my hair slightly out of place. Rarity gave me a sort of courtesy. And just like normal Pinkie came out of nowhere.
As we walked I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. It didn’t feel like we were in danger but more like something was… missing. This feeling persisted for a second or two before a noise brought me out of my thoughts.
“DDDDDAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!” I heard somepony shout from behind me; and from how the volume got louder they were coming towards me. I turned around and all I could see was green…mint green to be precise.
“Hi Lyra.” was the words I did say but with a pony wrapped around your face it ends up sounding like “fi Fra.” Either way it was interesting for all parties involved.
“Uh Lyra what exactly are you doing?” Twilight decided to break the awkwardness.
“Oh well I thought I would surprise Dan; and since he has gotten somewhat used to Pinkie Pie; I thought maybe I could try it.” I heard her say clearly even though she was wrapped around my face…kinda comfy if I do say so myself.
“Well dear don’t you think that would be something to clear with him first?” I made out Rarity’s voice asking a question. And it made me think about whether it bothered me. So far none of these ponies had weighed much; and by that I mean the mares and kids so far didn’t seem to weigh much. The stallions on the other hand…lets just say I wasn’t going to be trying to bench press Shining Armor or Big Mac any time soon.
“Well if you want my opinion…” I started to say but remembered that with somepony attached to your face your words don’t come out clearly. I fumbled around with my hands for a bit trying to find a place to grab Lyra so I could remove her. After a couple of seconds I found the back of her neck and for the second time that that week I held her like flailing cat in the air.
“Well if you want my opinion I honestly don’t mind; you girls don’t weigh much so it’s not like it’s really a burden. Now lets get going; if we are late Twilight might have a fit.” And with that I took Lyra set her on top of my head like a hat and continued walking down the path; not looking at the six mares following me.
“Wow the view up here is pretty nice. Do you see like this all the time?”
“Except when I look down so I don’t step on any thing…or in this world any ponies.”
“Heh I guess that would make sense.”
That was the last bit of conversation I had before I reached the school yard and saw all the little colts and fillies playing on the playground. As I walked closer Cheerilee walked out to greet me.
“Oh Dan you’re here right on time. I haven’t told the kids that you would be here yet; I thought it would be a great surprise.” She had on her normal cheery smile and attitude. “Oh and some reporter named Crystal Clear is here; she said something about a expose on you?”
“Oh yeah…Back before I saved you guys in Canterlot I promised her that she could have the first total report on me. She was brave enough to come forward out of a crowd of reporters and look me straight in the eyes and ask me a question.”
“Oh that’s nice. What was the question?”
I laughed as the memory replayed over in my mind before I spoke “What are you?”
Both of us laughed as we walked to the school. I don’t know if Cheerilee noticed Lyra or not or simply chose to ignore the fact that I was wearing a pony like a hat. We walked inside the school and I noticed that a certain mare was waiting for him.
“Hi Crystal” I said to the light blue colored mare.
“Oh Dan you’re finally here. Although I have to ask why we are doing this at a school?” she wasn’t as nervous as the first time we had met; but it still showed a bit.
“Well Cheerilee said the kids also have some questions for me; and kids ask the best questions. So between you and them asking me questions I figured that you could get some nice information and Lyra up here…” I pointed to the mare upon my head who smiled down at Crystal. “Can add to her anthropologic findings.”
Crystal seemed to get my point but had one problem with something I said.
“What’s anthropologic mean?” I was going to explain but Lyra hopped of my head onto the floor and began speaking with great enthusiasm.
“It relates to the scientific study of Anthropology; which is the study of humans.”
“Is that a real thing?” Crystal seemed surprised.
“As real as this big guy next to me!” she poked my leg with her hoof to get her point across.
I didn’t mind the poking my mind was focused on the rest of our group that walked through the door and also looking around the room at all the little school things.
Crystal and Lyra seemed like they were going to break into a bigger conversation but thankfully Cheerilee interrupted them.
“Oh I’m going to be bringing the kids in soon maybe everyone should find a comfy place.” She said as she trotted to the door and headed out. Once she got outside a wicked idea popped into my head.
“Oh guys I got a funny idea for a small prank.”
“What is it Dan?” Rainbow seemed delighted at the idea.
“Oh you’ll see…” I said as I moved to the corner and started to climb up the beams on the inside of the school.
“Dan what are you doing.” Twilight asked; I could tell she might be a little angry.
“Shh Twilight I can’t let them know outside I’m doing something. Don’t let Cheerilee know where I am when they get in…and if you’re wondering why I’m doing this…well what’s the best way to get on the good side of kids?” I asked now hanging in the rafters above Cheerilee’s desk.
I got a bunch of answers from some of the girl but none of them were exactly on the mark.
“Ok hold on.” I said deadpanned “What I should have said was; Pinkie what’s the best way to get on the good side of kids?” Everyone turned to the pink mare that had a smile on that told everyone that she already knew the answer.
“Oh that’s and easy peasy one…its laughter silly.”
This really didn’t answer Twilight question as a whole yet but fortunately for me Cheerilee started to open the door.
“Okay now shh and remember don’t tell her.” I quickly said to all the ponies in the room.
From my vantage point I saw everyone scramble to find a place really quick as Cheerilee lead the kids inside. She looked around the classroom; and I could see a confused and worried face since she couldn’t seem to find me into the room. As the kids went back to their seats Cheerilee moved over to Twilight.
“Where’s Dan in know he was in here a moment ago.”
Before Twilight could say anything Dash moved in and maintained a cover for me.
“He said he was setting something up for the kids and that he will be here when you introduce him; so that should be the first thing you do.
“Oh…well ok then.” Cheerilee calmed down a bit and walked back to her desk underneath where I was waiting.
“Alright children settle down we have something very important that going to happen this afternoon. Now all of you remember the human creature “Dan” that helped us out in Canterlot; right?”
I heard a good amount of cheering coming from most of the kids in the classroom.
“Well since you kids have had so many questions I thought it would be a great surprise to have him come here and surprise you.” She said this as she made the way from the back of her desk towards the first row of desks.
As she did that I slowly positioned my self and lowered myself down hanging from a beam by the back of my legs until my torso hung in midair above Cheerilee’s desk. I saw eyes of many students widen and knew that they were about to make some kind of noise. I quickly brought a finger to my mouth in attempt to stop them hoping that they would get my gesture.
“And I saw him come in the school but I’m not exactly sure where he is now.” Some of the kids snickered at the comment knowing that they knew something that their teacher did not.
I slowly reached out and tapped Cheerilee on her back. She jumped from the touch and seemed scared at the possibility at something sneaking up behind her. She slowly turned around and came face to face with me upside-down; whereupon I simply said.
“BOO!!!”
“It was watching Fluttershy getting scared by a leaf falling on her back. Cheerilee gave out a slight scream and toppled over all four hooves straight in the air; and I swore I heard a goat somewhere off in the distance. As I watched Cheerilee for a second or two I looked up and saw the kids laughing as well as some of the other ponies in the room. Twilight and Rarity were giving me some admonishing glares while Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Lyra were on the floor laughing along with most of the class. I looked at Crystal who was laughing as much because she was trying to maintain here journalistic integrity; which it was easy to see was failing as she held her note to her mouth to muffle her laughter. Fluttershy on the other hand I guess was also scared and did the same thing as Cheerilee; Twilight and Rarity were slowly helping her back to her hooves.
“Are you ok Cheerilee?” I asked helping the teacher back to her hooves. She gave me a glare that just screamed revenge but was quickly replaced by her happy and cheery face as she saw that the children loved our antics and were still laughing quite a bit.
“Oh yes it was just a bit of a scare” she said laughing a little herself to calm her nerves.
“I noticed.” I looked up and saw the children staring at me; some with smiles on their faces and others with a bit of shock. “Well hi guys and gals; isn’t this a nice surprise?” I was met with cheers coming from them; it warmed my heart.
“Now I heard that you little colts and fillies have some questions for me?” I paused as another wave of cheers was heard “OK then; now lets set some ground rules. I let everyone in the classroom ask at ;east one of their questions ok…oh and by the way tell me your name when I pick you so I can remember.”
“Ummm how about…you.” I pointed to a little filly with white fur and red man who had a nice size pair of glasses on.
“Oh well my name is Twist” she said; I knew that she had a lisp but I had a friend who had one way back when I had learned to just hear past it. “Well I wanted to ask… Well what are you?”
I laughed thinking back to my “fun” in Canterlot; where Crystal had asked me the same except this time Twist didn’t seem scared as Crystal had been.
“Well that’s not the first time I’ve been asked that. Well from where I come from I’m called a human; we have two arms, hands, legs, and feet.” I wiggled everything around for emphasis.
“Umm how about you” I pointed to a kinda pudgy dark purplish grey colt.
“Uh hi I’m Chowder; and my question is; what are those things on your feet?”
In all honesty I had never thought one thing about my sneakers since I got to Equestria. It was just something my mind programmed over time.
“These are my shoes…” I was about to continue when someone called out.
“Like Horseshoes!?!!” Cheerilee was about to say something to whoever called out but I waved her off before I continued.
“Exactly like horseshoes; except instead of just protecting the bottom the also protect the top of my foot too.”
I looked around and saw Crystal writing something down; Lyra was also doing the same thing; and the rest of the group seemed to be just taking my knowledge in.
“Alright whose next…let me see…how about…”
“I have a question!!!” a sort of snobby voice. I looked down and to my right to see a pony I already knew too well.
“Alright then miss; and you are?” I said know all too well that this might take a bad turn.
“My name is Diamond Tiara” she sounded just like she wanted to be a stuck up noble or socialite.
“Alright nice to meet you; and your question is?”
“I heard somewhere that you were called an Omnivore; and that means that you eat meat right?” I could have seen that coming twelve miles away but it still hit me like a basketball to the face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Twilight and some of the girls give me a nervous look.
Thinking for a second I smiled calmly and gave a small laugh before I answered Diamond Tiara.
“Well yes but that also means…” my answer was cut short.
“Does that mean that you eat ponies?” Diamond Tiara came straight out of the gate with that question. This wasn’t meant to learn anything about me she was trying to maneuver her way into being the center on attention. She wanted me to stutter here and then she would go on a mini rant and lie about how I said that I eat ponies. Thankfully it was easy to see through the brat’s game.
I walked a bit closer to her crouched down and put on a slightly goofy face before beginning my attack.
“I don’t know do ponies taste good?” I caught her completely off guard; she looked at me wide eyed and stuttered for awhile. I stood back up and looked around the class.
“Well guys Diamond Tiara doesn’t know if ponies taste good or not so I guess you little kiddies are safe for the moment.” This got laughter out of the class again. It’s always a good thing to make kids laugh.
“Okay next question….you.” I saw the little unicorn filly that had been brave enough to step up to me in the fire. “And what’s your name?”
“Well I’m Dinky and what I want to ask is…. Do you like muffins?” Seeing whose daughter she could possibly I thought she might ask that.
“I absolutely love them; my favorite is blueberry.” As I finished she nodded and began scribbling furiously in a notebook she had.
“Hmm Pipsqueak you’ve waited long enough what’s your question” I looked at the white and brown colt who was shocked that I knew his name.
“You know my name?”
“I’ve met your sister already…” he nodded and then looked sad for a second. “And no that’s not your question; ask away.”
“Alright then good sir. Who would win in a fight a pirate or a ninja?” Besides his accent which was awesome for a kid his age I had to stop myself from falling on the floor laughing. IT was a question I had debated with my friends many times.
“Honestly Pip; it’s a tie; they both beat each other.” He was pensive for a second as he mulled over my words before nodding in silent agreement with me.
After his question I looked around and noticed a trio or more appropriately six hooves in the air all close together. I laughed as I could instantly tell who those hooves belonged to.
“Since all three of you probably have the same question I will ask you as a group…Cutie Mark Crusaders what is your question?”
I looked to the three energetic fillies as they quickly huddled and talked amongst themselves for a second before Sweetie Belle was chosen as the speaker.
“Do humans have Cutie Marks?” and there was the million dollar question of the day. And by that I mean pretty much all the attention was now focused on me. All the kids, Cheerilee, Lyra, Crystal, Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy were all staring at me with curiosity at how I was going to answer this. Pinkie was the only one who wasn’t staring and that was because she was doing her own thing at the moment.
“Well I will probably have to give a large talk on this later but since I only have so much time I’ll give you the short answer. No humans do not have cutie marks.” Gasps came from many ponies around the room and it seemed like the kids wanted to know more.
“How about I’ll talk to Cheerilee later and I will find time to come back and tell you about it on another day…ok kids?”
“Yes Mr. Dan.” They all said in unison.
“You can just call me Dan kids it’s okay.” I said while laughing a bit at their cute childish antics. It’s one thing for someone like Fluttershy or Twilight to do something cute but when you have a room full of pony kids do it; it feels like your soul may leave you body…once again; curse pony cuteness.
“Yes Dan.” And that was the second time I almost died in Equestria.
After that I kept answering question for as long as their were hooves up. I kept checking on how Crystal and Lyra were doing; the seemed enthralled by what they were learning about me; heck even Twilight was taking notes on some of the thing I said. I answered everything about what my favorite food was to if I have ever had a stuffed animal.
After sometime Cheerilee finally interrupted me and pointed to the clock.
“Well kids it looks like we are out of time and class is almost up.” Some groans were heard from around the class. “Now kids I know that you were enjoying Dan and asking him questions but we can schedule him to come back at a later date. Now you should pack up and head outside kids and enjoy the rest of your day.”
Slowly but surely the kids got up put things in their saddlebags; and made their way outside. Many of them waved goodbye to me as they left. Diamond Tiara and her friend Silver Spoon didn’t though. As the last kids left everyone else gathered round to give me a congratulations of sorts.
“Well Dan I think the kids really liked that.” Cheerilee was really enthusiastic about how things proceeded. “I’m sorry about what happened with Diamond Tiara thought; that filly can sometimes be a…”
“Pain in the flank?” I finished for her.
“Well…”
“It’s okay Cheerilee I get what you mean.” After finishing that I walked over to Crystal and Lyra. “So did you to have fun collecting information about me?”
Lyra gave me a huge grin and started talking first. “Oh you bet I did there were so many thing I didn’t know about humans before this…It’s ground breaking knowledge!!!”
“Crystal was the next to answer “I had a great time Dan; all the questions you answered help to paint a better picture of you and this is going to be one fantastic story!!!”
“Heh that’s why I hand picked you Crystal; I thought you would be perfect for this.” My little compliment cause a blush to appear on Crystal’s face before she seemed confused.
“Don’t you mean hoof picked?”
“Nope.” I said raising my hand and flexing it for emphasis. Lyra, Crystal, and I shared at laugh before I made my way to Twilight and the gang.
“So girls on a scale of one to ten; how did I do?” Twilight was going to answer first but I cut her off quickly. “And no decimal points Twilight.”
“Wha but how did you…?”
“Let’s just say intuition.” I chuckled while the mare gave me a slight glare
Everyone gave me great reviews on how I did; they all thought that it was a success and continued to tell me so as we walked out the door. Upon exiting I was met with cheers. I looked up to see the kids along with most of their parents and siblings waiting for me out side. I stood their in shock as Cheerilee came up from behind me.
“Oh did I forget to mention that afterwards that some of the parents and siblings of the kids wanted to personally thank you?”
“Very sneaky Cheerilee…I got to give you credit for surprising me here; good job.”
“Your welcome Dan now go say hi.” She nudged me forward towards the group.
I took a step forwards toward the group and the cheering quieted down a bit; I think they expected me to say something. To bad I didn’t really have a speech planned. I guess it was just time to wing it.
“Uhhh.. Hi everybody. I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting this. Well I guess I have to say thanks for giving me a nice welcome and all and I look forward to living here with you ponies for awhile.”
My short speech generated more cheering from the group of ponies. As they were cheering I saw Dinky pulling a familiar pony towards me.
“Mr. Dan! Mr. Dan! I wanted you to meet my mom!!!” she said as she came to a stop in front of me still pulling a grey Pegasus with golden eyes that were slightly off kilter.
“Dinky I told you can just call me Dan; no need for the “Mr.”. It’s nice to meet you Ms.?” I didn’t know what her name would exactly be cause on the show they had changed it on and off again.
“Ditzy; Ditzy Derpy Doo the local mailmare.” She chirped happily “And I just want to say thank you for what you did back in Canterlot.” She said as she wrapped her forelegs around my neck and gave me a hug. It was one of the best hugs I have ever gotten.
“It’s no problem Ditzy; I would probably do it again if I had to…although next time without the roof falling on me.” I said with a bit of sarcasm making Ditzy and Dinky laugh.
Ditzy backed out of the hug and then began to rummage around in the saddle bags that she had on. After a minute of searching she apparently found what she was looking for and pulled it out to present to me. I took me a moment to register that she was handing me a muffin.
“Dinky told me that blueberry was your favorite” she said as I took the muffin from her and bit into it; it was a fantastic muffin. Now before I could say anything else Pinkie who was busy doing…Pinkie Stuff then addressed the crowd.
“EXCUSE ME EVERYPONY!!!!” she got the crowds attention. “Since everyone seems to want to talk to Dan I think this would be a good time to announce that today is also the day we are having his “welcome to Ponyville and thanks for your heroics” party back at Sugarcube Corner. And I am pretty sure that Dan will be able to talk to you all better over there; right Dan?”
“It sounds like a good plan Pinkie; how about we all head over there to have some fun?” my response got a roar from the crowd as everypony made their way to the shop.
It was a great party; like all of Pinkie’s parties. I met with more of the parents and siblings that had been at the school. I talked with Filthy Rich Thunderlane, and Vinyl who all seemed to say the same thing to me. Also during the party the CMC was trying to find a way to look under my clothes to see if I was telling the truth about humans not having Cutie Marks. All in all it was great.
Afterwards after several hours on nonstop fun everything slowed down and people started to go home. Me and Twilight were among the last to leave. We said our goodbyes to Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash; and I thanked Pinkie for the absolutely fantastic party.
While walking Twilight decided to ask me a question.
“Why did you respond like that to Diamond Tiara’s question?” I hadn’t thought the she thought much about it but apparently I keep underestimating Twilight a little bit.
“Well I knew she wasn’t asking to learn anything but more to put attention on herself; also making me look bad in the process. It was like a move in a game of chess; sometimes if your playing a really good opponent who know the conventional strategies; then the best thin you can do is something unconventional.”
“Oh I guess that’s a good point…Do you think it was the right idea?”
“It was slightly better than calling her a bit of brat in the first place.” I said as we reached the library door. I opened the door for Twilight and allowed her to walk in first. “After you madam.” I honestly didn’t think it was the easy to get a girl to blush; I guess girls back where I was from were just different.
As I went inside a though popped into my head. Even though I have been here a couple of days I still had no clue what the Equestrian calendar looked like. I figured now would be the best time to ask.
“Hey Twilight I just thought of something…do you have a calendar I can look at?”
“Um sure; what do you need a calendar for?” I could tell the question confused her; in then right setting it probably would have confused me too.
“Well since I am probably going to be here for awhile don’t you think I should now about the months, seasons, holidays, and other things like that.”
“Oh I guess that is a good points” she said trotting over to her desk and looking through some of the drawers before she found what she was looking for.
“Ok here’s a basic calendar that has all the holidays marked on it” she levitated it across the room and into my hands.
“Thanks Twilight.”
“No problem Dan if you need anything else just ask.” She said as I began to look over how exactly the months were spread out. Weirdly enough the months were pretty much the same as they were back on my world. We were in the early fall right now right around October and form what I could there was a holiday that I knew form the show coming up.
“Hey it looks like Nightmare Night is only about a week away!” I called to Twilight across the room.
“Hmm? Oh yes it is Spike and I already have our costumes picked out….Wait what about you Dan? I don’t think we have costumes in your size.”
“Hmm that is a pickle…” I thought for awhile until an idea popped up in my head. “I think I know what to do Twilight; do you think I can send a letter?”
“Sure; but how is that going to help?” She had no clue what I was thinking.
“Oh let’s just say it will be a surprise.” I fought hard to not put a mischievous grin on.
“…Ok but don’t do anything too crazy; Dan.”
“Cross my heart and hope to fly; stick a cupcake in me eye.” I said as I moved my arms to the motions.
Twilight gave me a serious look; “Are you sure that’s a good idea making a Pinkie Promise; Dan?”
“It’s okay Twilight I know the consequences…” I shuddered thinking back to Pinkie’s… “outburst” during that one time. “Plus I also remember that...” I said clearing my throat in my best attempt to give an impersonation. “Losing a friends trust is the fastest way to losing a friend.” I dialed up the pitch in my voice to sound a bit girly. Twilight glared at me and was about to say something before suddenly Pinkie showed up outside one of the library windows and shouted.
“FORRRREVERRRR!!!!”
“Thanks Pinkie!!” I waved at the mare through the window.
“No Problem Danny Wany.” Apparently I now have a second nickname in Equestria.
I turned to see Twilight’s face half stuck in the glare she had given me and half in shock from Pinkie’s appearance.
“Were you quoting me?” she asked.
“No I was quoting another lavender colored super magical powered mare.” I joked back.
We laughed for a bit before I finally got my hands on a quill and some parchment and set to writing a specific message.
MEANWHILE IN THE CANTERLOT PALACE
All three princesses and the captain of the royal guard were again all seated around the same table; but this time wasn’t for pleasantry; this was time for them to work on some government problems. In the midst of their work Celestia whose head was looking down at paperwork heard the telltale sound of a scroll appearing by dragon fire. It fell and bounced in the middle of the table.
“Ah I believe we have a letter from Twilight; should we take a break everypony.” Gasps of relief were heard from the rest of the table as everypony backed away to stretch a bit.
“Oh my mistake it appears that this is from Dan again.” Shining Armor instantly perked up at this; after the last letter he had been ready to throttle Dan with his hooves but his wife had managed to calm him down.
“Dear princess Celestia…” the ruler began. “This letter actually isn’t for you I’m actually writing this to Luna could you please do me a favor and pass it along?” he tone went from royal to somewhat confused and disappointed. Her sister on the other hand had heard those words and immediately started laughing.
“oh this human sure is amazing; I love his humor.” She managed to say in between breaths.
Celestia who seemed a little upset now passed the letter down the table. As it floated on down the writing passed by Shining eye level where he could of sworn he saw his sister’s name. With godlike speed he snatched the letter out of the magic aura.
“Sorry your highness I thought I saw something about Twilight in there.” He apologized; Celestia took this normally; after the last letter she was sure that Dan’s life in Equestria might have been cut short by an assault by her guard Captain.
Shining’s eyes scanned the top half of the page quickly and sure enough he found what he was looking for.
“AHA!! Here it is.” He said as he began to read out loud. “And about Twilight…” he started to read but then his eye went down the letter just a little before the letter suddenly fell from his hooves and he simply face planted into the table in front of him. Both of the sisters were surprised by his actions and looked to his wife to help with an explanation.
Cadence levitated the letter in front of her and read what Shining had just read before giggling a bit and then talking.
“And about Twilight…No shining nothing happened with Twilight so stop reading and give the letter to Princess Luna.”
The three Alicorns burst into laughter that could be heard from the castle gates. It continued for a couple of minutes before Cadence gave the letter to her other aunt and then started to try to bring her husband back normal.
Luna skipped past the parts of the letter she already knew and began reading Dan’s message to her. As she read a grin slowly spread across her face. It kept getting bigger as she read the plan that Dan was conveying to her in the best terms he could.
“Oh my; Dan sure is a smart human for what it is worth; this is a great idea for such a day.”
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Really good chapter!!!!!
2198981 THANKSSS!!!!!
OH YEAH BTW CHAPTER 8 IS HERE READ IT AND LAUGH NOT WEEP I DON"T WANT WEEPING YET!!!!
freaking amazing!!!!!!!!!!
A Nightmare Night prank?
imgderp.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/There-be-a-shit-storm-a-brewin.jpg
2199212 thank you; i don;t exatly which part you may be reffering to but thank you none the less
2199358 oh you'll see...i hate typing evil laughter so i'll leave you with this to make my point
Nice troll
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I lol'd quite a but at the trolling of shining
one of my fave human in equestria fic is Equestria's First Human by ceehof
it helped inspire parts of my story now and i loved some of its moment; whether funny, sad, or actiony....then ceehof took it down to rewrite...everything
and now its back and i love how both versions are/were
AND NOW TO NEWS!!!! I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO MY EDITOR WHO IS TAKING A BREAK FOR COLLEGE STUFF....HE SUGGESTED I GET A SECOND EDITOR
ORIGINALLY I DIDN"T WANT TO CAUSE I DIDN"T WANT TO GET CONFUSED ABOUT WHO HAD WHAT TO EDIT!!!!
BUT NOW I THINK I MAY BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT SO I AM PUTTING OUT A REQUEST....anyone wanna help by editing??
REQUIREMENTS: MUST BE ABLE TO EDIT WELL MY GRAMMAR AND PUNCTUATION SUCK!!!!!!
IF YOU WANNA MESSAGE ME RELY TO THE BLOG POST OR COMMENT ON MY STORY!!!! IF MULTIPLE PEOPLE REPLY I WILL PICK SOMEHOW!!!!
2200597 i think most of those on the fly i thought it was a nice touch
Wow really? That's pretty impressive mate
2202659 thers nothing wrong with my caps lock...it's because i can't yell in text
2203760 YEAH AND WHERE'S YOUR STORY BUDDY????
2204456 its not free you owe me fifty bucks lol
2200630
You could always check out the group that has pre-readers/editors
2207938 kinda want someone who has read the story but that sounds like an idea i coud get behind
2207993
Yeah I mean if it was like Chapter 15 or something I'd be iffy but technically your still in or have just left the intro arc plus you'd get an extra viewer if he likes your story enough
Once again I find myself hooked on your story. The humor is spot on, and the fun and cheerful antics makes me smile. I know you already know this, but the grammar and spelling still annoys me. It's really the only flaw of this story. Other than that, keep it going. This story makes me smile after a hard day at work.
2220670 im trying to find a second editor as we speak i'm looking in groups and i even asked my readers but no one replied....YOU GUYS DONT LOVE ME!!!!
ah see what you did u made fluttershy cry...ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!!!!!
2220923 What do you mean we don't love you?! Did you not see the part where I loved your story and that it makes me smile?! Now you made Pinkie Pie sad!
2221151
i see you one sad sir and raise you too
also its a joke the adventure time should have made that clear
2221299 You used Sad Bloom......... I NEVER WANT tO SEE SAD BLOOM! AAAGGGHHH!!!! Apple Bloom is mah favorite pony! Aside from Princess Luna and Ruby.
2221599 KNEEL KNELL BEFORE SAD BLOOM!!!!!!
2221754 Only if I can hug her.
2223740 once and only once
2227820 YEA!!!!!
About a week ago I put this story in my 'read later' bookmark folder, as I didn't think I would find it as enjoyable as some of the other HiE stories out there.
I am glad to say I was totally wrong!
This is a brilliant story, and I will look forward to future chapters!
Liked, faved and followed
2235122 thank you so much good sir
chapter nine will be here momentarily i just gotta finish it
and i am glad to have proved you wrong i spent a LONNNNGGGG time thinking about this 
2221754 HURK!!!! ALL MY FEELS!!!!! "thud"
Damn, i just finished chapter 8 and while i must say that this is does not have the best story or pacing out there, it is funny as hell and I'm having an absolute blast reading it.
Btw, even though the main character might seam like a bit of a Gary sue It is refreshing to see such joy full and laid back character, i love his antics with Twilight.
Keep up the good work sir and have a mustache
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3651692288/h40E5C9B4/
Ok I know you probably heard this already but you've got some spelling errors and while it's a nice cute story it's not very compelling it's not bad but it's not amazing although I am only on chapter 8
I feel so sorry for shining armor.
let me translate this from Pinkie to English
*translating......*
here we go:
oh, well it’s nothing. I just thought it went well, and, oh would you look at the time, we should head out for the school now.
Dear princess Celestia this letter is actually for Luna XD that made me laugh.
And here's for hoping Dan gets a awesome costume.
No, he was quoting Pinkie. I then quoted you.
i probably read rather fast, so i hope there is more in the sequel if i finish this one, so far Dan is rather funny.
Having children try to undress me is also a great time in my book.
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...
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4211355 Let me translate this from English to what was ACTUALLY said:
"Um thanks I Like you that way t- Actually I'm going to change the subject, we need to get to the school."
ONE DAY WE WILL GET TO THE FEATURED BOX....THIS I SWEAR!!!!!!!
Oh look where i found this story.
This story is so awesome. I am binge reading it right now. : 3
I give him this Dan boy is good
Thus constant shifting from firt to third person perspective is jarring. Glad it doesn’t happen to often, but I hope you’ve learned to watch that as the years have gone by.
Really, Chowder?
found these for you,
“Years of experience Twilight. Year of experience.” [ years ]
“I guess that’s one of you less wise sayings [your]
with white fur and red man [mane ]
conventional strategies; then the best thin you can do [ thing ]
“Oh I guess that is a good points” [ point ]
right around October and form what I couldsee there was a holiday that I knew form the show coming up. [ (from) both times]
bring her husband back to normal.
9217527
*eyes the room for the filly going for her nom-noms*
All I hear is hulk hogan
Ahhh, nice reference. I really miss that show. 😢