Chapter 6: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HOOOOOOOFFFFFBBBAAALLLL!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 6: ARE YOU READY FOR SOME HOOOOOOFFFBBBAAALLL!!!!!!!!!!
As Dan walked with the group of ponies he thought to himself for a couple of minutes. The main thing on his mind though was a certain song that used to come on once a week. He hummed it to himself unaware that somepony was trying to tell him something.
“Dan!” he looked at the source of the irritated voice; Twilight was giving him a stern glare.
“Were you listening to anything I just said?”
“Honestly no I was lost in an old daydream…what were you saying?”
“Well I was introducing you to everyone!”
“OK then start over.” Twilight kept glaring at me while I laughed it off; I knew she would start again if I waited long enough.
“…….fine…Well this is Caramel.” She pointed out a light brown stallion with a cutie mark of three horseshoes. He seemed a bit intimidated by my stature.
“Uh hi.” He said sheepishly. He struck me as a stallion version of Fluttershy. Twilight then pointed to a darker brown stallion with an hourglass for his mark.
“And this is Doctor Whooves. He helps fix some things around town.” I gave a nod to him.
“Well I tell people to call me Doctor Whooves or Doc Whooves, but in actuality if you want you can just call me…”
“The Doctor right?” I said in a satisfied tone.
“The d…how did you?” he was surprised at my guess
“Just a hunch I’ve had Doctor.” Twilight then pointed to the next Stallion we were walking with.
“This is Thunderlane, he works with Dash on the weather team” He was flying just above Twilight and the others; around shoulder height for me. For my eyes at least he would have been hard to miss; he had a dark grey coat and a white mohawk for a mane. He looked at me and gave me a nod.
“How’s it goin?” he asked.
“The day has had its ups and downs” I answered, this day truly was something else. Then again it was my first “normal” day in Ponyville.
Since I Already knew Big Mac; Twilight skipped him and moved to the last stallion in the group.
“And this is Snowflake.” She noted tot the gigantic muscled stallion walking next to us. I remembered seeing him during the show but never concretely knew his name. We looked at each other and like I had done with some of the others a simple nod was all we needed. But something in me persisted to ask him a question.
“Havin a good day snowflake?” As the words left my mouth other ponies in the group suddenly stopped and turned to look at me with a bit of panic on their faces. I looked to Snowflake who now had a very serious look on his face. He didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds; but then like a cannon he basically shouted to the heavens.
“YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”
The force of his voice was almost enough to throw me off my feet but I managed to stay standing. I looked to Twilight and saw that Snowflakes’ yell had caused her mane to stand straight up. It was very hard not to laugh; for the other I mean; I laughed whole heartedly.
“You did that on purpose didn’t you?” the anger in her voice rising.
“Yeah I had to at least once…is that all the introductions?” I asked as I saw the group start to move again.
“Well you already met Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, and my cousin Vinyl.” she said as we caught up to the back of the group where Vinyl and Octavia were walking.
“Yeah I guess that is every…” it took a second for the last part of the information to sink in.
“WAIT!!” I said frightening Twilight “Vinyl is your cousin!?!?”
“Um yes didn’t you know that?”
“Would I sound this surprised if I did?”
“Hmm I guess not, but yes it’s true isn’t that right Vinyl?” she said to Vinyl and started to walk until Vinyl grabbed her and pulled her to her side.
“Yep the little egghead here is my younger cousin, heck I’m technically older than Shining by a day or two...oh and Dan I forgot to thank you for saving my brother pipsqueak during that whole fire thing the other day….so thanks.”
“Oh ok it no prob…YOUR BROTHER IS PIPSQUEAK!!!” I couldn’t keep my volume down this time.
Vinyl just laughed at me saying “Heh if you think that’s surprising, just wait till you find out who my dad is.
I was being teased by ponies who were about one third of my height…this was still being a very strange day. Eventually we reached a hoofball field that was set up within the town. To me it looked the same as a regular football field. A couple of the girls; namely Twilight, Rarity, Lyra, Bonbon, Octavia, and Vinyl sat on the sidelines considering they weren’t the most sporty bunch. That left me, the stallion, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack to play.
“Dan I hope you have good skills in ambidextrous receiving!” I managed to hear from Twilight. It took me a minute to figure out her scientific wording.
“It’s called catching Twilight…” I said deadpanned. “And that’s what these are for.” I flexed my fingers and hands.
“I’ll show ya somepony throw me the ball.” Macintosh had the ball and he slowly hoofed it over to me. I was ready to catch but before I could a blur sped past me and took the ball.
“Well well well what do we have here fellas?” it was a voice I didn’t recognize. I looked and saw a Pegasus stallion I didn’t recognize talking to another group of ponies.
“Looks like we have some stallions, two fillies, and a…” he looked at me with confusion “and a thing…” I laughed at his poor attempt at coming up with something to call me. “Tryin to play a little hoofball on our turf here.”
His group moved closer to him while he played around with Mac’s ball. Being the odd man out…literally; I decided to speak for the group.
“Is there some sort of problem here?”
“Well the big thing talks. You could say there is a problem here seeing that this is our field and you didn’t ask permission to use it…or at least didn’t send one of the fillies to say hi to us.” He gave a wink to Rainbow Dash as he finished. It was a bad move on his part; I could tell that they probably were not from Ponyville or else they would recognize some of the ponies with us; he also didn’t see or hear the rainbow blur racing towards him with intent to harm; luckily I moved my arm out to my side to stop her and Dash got the message right before she collided with my arm.
“Oh so the fillies got some fire in her huh? I like a mare like that.” This stallion who I now nicknamed “Douchebag” even finished that statement with a cheesy grin…I may be regretting the choice to not let Dash crush him.
“Heh you don’t have a snowballs chance in Tartarus with her buddy; and if we accidentally stepped on your turf; we’re sorry. Now can we have our ball back?” I hoped being a little polite would straighten the situation out.
“mmmmm no I think we’ll keep it.” Uh oh. “Now why don’t you and your ragtag group of friends here run along and scram before we decide to get less friendly.” He said as he started to fly back to his group of friends. I looked at Rainbow who looked ready to explode and looked back at the group who also looked like they were ready to fight. It was about here that I got a nice idea.
“How bout we play you for it?” I shouted to the Pegasus. He stopped and turned around to see me with my genuine maniac muppet grin on.
“Excuse me?” I love it when I completely catch people off guard.
“You think you and your friends are such hot stuff why don’t you put your bits where your mouth is?” my statement got every one riled up. I had put the stallion in no win situation.
“….Fine me and my guys will play what’s you terms?”
“If we win we get the ball back and if we come back you leave us alone…for good.”
“And if we win?” the stallion asked.
“Keep the ball and we won’t bother you again…heck we will say you’re the best hoofball players around.”
The stallion mulled his options over and then with his own grin replied “Yes”.
“Ok then get your eight ready.” I said turning around to walk back to the group.
“Dan are you sure that’s a good…” Rainbow started to ask a question but I picked her up and held her underneath my arm as I walked.
“Trust me Rainbow for what we are about to do and the group we have these guys will never see it coming.” Rainbow looked up at me and she could see the grin on my face which in turn also made her grin.
“You got a plan big guy?”
“A really good one yes.”
After I reached the group I set Rainbow down and told everyone what was going on. I got some stares back from the group. Applejack pretty much summed up what everyone wanted to say.
“Are you sure this is a good idea sugarcube?”
“Ok guys and gals trust me here. We got the two strongest stallions in Ponyville, the fastest flier in Equestria, one of the best rodeo cowponies, and Equestria’s only human. We can beat these guys they look so plain and ordinary.”
“Well I guess we do have some good talent on this team but…”
“But nothing Applejack we can beat these guys easy peasy.” Rainbow decided to take my side.
“Are you losers ready over there?” The stallion and his team were ready to go.
“Yeah sure you kickoff; first to 8 touchdowns wins?”
“Fine with us just don’t get upset when we kick your flanks back to ponyloserville!!”
After his horrible insult I looked back to my team and saw fire in each of their eyes; none of them liked it when somebody insulted Ponyville.
“Ok team now that we are ready I’ll return the first kickoff.”
“Uh Dan don’t you think that the fastest pony should return it?” Rainbow asked.
“When we get to the humiliation phase yes Rainbow but first comes the shock and awe…plus a touchdown right off the bat just doesn’t sound fun enough.”
“…Fine we’ll play it your way.” She said as she glided off into a defensive formation with the rest of the team. I made my way back to our end zone; and on the way there I heard Lyra cheer for me.
“DAN GO HAM ON THESE GUYS!!!” it made me laugh to here her say that. It made me laugh harder when Twilight and Bon Bon questioned her.
“Lyra what does that even mean?”
“Yes what does it mean and why does ham not sound like it should be used in that phrasing?”
“Hey Dan knows what it means and he will take it to heart and KICK SOME FLANK!!”
I almost fell to the ground for how funny that was. I got into position and signaled that we were all good to go. One of the other stallions then bucked the ball up into the air. I watched it fall and as it came towards me I felt another song start to play.
I caught the ball and broke off running straight; I made it to the 20 yard line before I crossed paths with a Pegasi coming straight for me. I let him get within a foot before I spin around on my left foot letting him fly by. I didn’t stop to see the look on anypony’s face I just kept running I got to the forty before an earth pony tried to tackle. I’m guessing with four hooves it is very hard to juke somepony in this game because when I side step juked this pony he was shocked as hell. Sadly I only made it to the fifty yard line before somepony got the idea to push me out of bounds.
I walked to where the group was huddling and looked to see the other team staring at me with surprise and just a bit of anger. Meanwhile when I got to my group I saw looks of amazement coming from all the ponies.
“Wow Dan those were some fancy moves partner.”
“Eeyup”
“YEAAAAHHH!!”
“I say they did seem rather extraordinary”
Everyone gave their two cents about my fancy footwork and gave me a bit of praise. Rainbow Dash seemed really into my moves.
“I mean that was awesome the whole spinny thing and then you almost let the other guy get you but then you just like jumped out of the way it was so awesome.”
“Dash focus we still got to play more.”
“Right right so what are we doing next big guy?”
“Well if you liked the running; let me be quarterback and let’s see how you like my throwing.” I honestly couldn’t keep my sly grin off my face if I tried at the moment. “Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Thunderlane; you guys go long and get open. Big Mac and Snowflake; you guys make the middle of the center line while Caramel and the Doctor go on the outside OK?”
Everyone accepted their positions and moved out. Big Mac was in position to hike the ball and Rainbow was itching to fly up the field. She could probably out fly her opponent but the rules of hoofball that Twilight told me about on our walk here stated that Pegasi were grounded to an eight feet maximum flight altitude.
“Hey look guys the thing thinks he can be a quarterback.” Ok now Douchebag was starting to piss me off.
“Know.” I specifically said to him out loud.
“Excuse me?” he looked puzzled.
“I know I’m a quarterback, not think.”
“Well excuse me Mr. smart g…”
“Hike!!” I decided to blindside the guy and hike it while he was forming yet another bad insult. I wasn’t going to try to do anything fancy for this; I just did a simple three step drop back. Big Mac and Snowflake easily held the line and I had no problems waiting for someone to get open. Sure enough a few seconds later I could see Dash wide open from her defender and I knew exactly where she was headed. I pulled my arm back and began to throw. While throwing only one other thought entered my mind besides throwing dash this past; I wondered how this looked to the ponies watching me. My arm moved forward and I slowly released the ball with a flick of my fingers. I quickly pondered if I had gotten any stronger since being in Equestria cause after I let the ball go that thing absolutely flew through the air.
Glad to see that I had thrown a nearly perfect spiral pass; I didn’t want the first impression of a human playing sports in Equestria to be a lousy one. I watched the ball start to come down and sure enough Rainbow was under it just in time to catch it straight into the end zone….dam I threw that pretty far. I honestly lost count at how many times I had amazed somepony today. Every one gathered near the sidelines as we cheered a bit for scoring first.
“Dan that was amazing!!!”
“Wowie Dan that ball just went zoom!!!”
The praise came for awhile before we decided that we had to keep playing the game because Douchebag’s team was getting impatient. I let Applejack have the kick off and she nearly booted that thing to the moon. The other team settled for the twenty yards because it went out the end zone. We set up in a formation with me in the secondary and I could see that Douchebag decided that he wanted to be quarterback.
“Hey Mr. thing not gonna play up here with the big ponies…are ya scared or something? Watcha gonna do all the way out there?” after my awesome throw he was trying to keep his team morale up with crappy jokes. And even back here in the secondary I knew exactly what I was gonna do.
Seemingly after yelling at his team for half a minute; Douchebag finally managed to hike the ball. Big Mac, Snowflake, Caramel, and Doc Whooves basically caved in the enemy line and were going to sack Douchebag but he got a lucky pass off. The receiver had barely shaken off Thunderlane and the Pegasus thought h might be able to catch the ball…that was until everything in front of him was blocked by a huge shadow.
I was pretty much waiting for a pass to come; because since Pegasi were grounded to a max of eight feet I had a good chance to block. What with being six foot two inches and at least 1 foot vertical jump (kinda hard to measure myself) and a six foot wingspan big enough to grab the tips of both horns of a longhorn bull; I had no problem going way over that eight foot limit.
So I jumped and completely obliterated the Pegasus’s chance at c catching and simply smacked the ball to the ground. So far this was turning out to be a fun game. Meanwhile all the ponies were still staring in awe at my displays of athleticism. I managed to calm my team down and told them to focus we can celebrate and talk everything after the game.
With me blocking all passes and the other team having no hope of running the ball; fourth down came up very quickly and Douchebag decided to punt. I let Rainbow take the catch on this one; and sure enough with her quicker than lightning flying it was an instant second touchdown.
The game pretty much continued like this for awhile and soon enough the scores was seven to zero. Douchebag’s team was exhausted from the level of play we were putting them through. While my some of my team was barely breaking a sweat…some other though…
“Jeez Thunderlane are you always this out of shape?” Rainbow hovered around him in a circle softly flapping her wings.
“Mostly…just not…when you need me…to work…” he said in between heavy breaths.
Caramel was slightly better considering her works at Applejacks farm from time to time. I looked over to our opponents to see that they hadn’t quite given up yet.
“Ok guys we got one more touchdown to get and it’s their ball so let’s keep playing like we have; got it?”
“Yes coach.” the whole group said to me at once before they started laughing. We got back into our formation and got ready for their snap. From where I was standing I could see Douchebag snap the ball. What I didn’t see was two of their guys go straight for Caramel. I heard someone scream and took my eyes off the game; I saw Caramel on the ground holding one of his forelegs.
Everyone on the team forgot about the game for a second. We didn’t care that the other team was still going and had scored their first touchdown. Rainbow and Applejack were the first to him and were him over.
“Alright now where does it hurt Caramel?” Applejack slowly poked her hoof up until she hit about half way up and Caramel’s hoof twitched in pain.
“There!!! Definitely there” you could hear the pain in his voice.
While we were making sure that Caramel wasn’t too hurt someone decided to make an announcement to our group.
“What happened did someone get hurt? You know this is a very “violent” sport; ponies should be careful that nothing bad happens to them.” Douchebag said with all the intent to threaten us.
I turned around and was about to return verbal fire until the beginning of my sentence was interrupted by a loud thunderclap from above. Me and a couple of other ponies looked up to see the gray clouds above us that were ready to begin raining. I looked over to see that Douchebag had a look of relief on his face.
“Well it looks like rain I guess we just have to postpone this little engagement. Hopefully next time you guys have a little more common sense about who you play.” He said as him and his group started to turn around and walk away.
“NO no no no no no… Do you really think a little bad weather is going to stop this?” I shouted their way and managed to stop them in their tracks.
“Where I come from; if it starts raining it only makes the game more fun. So how bout we finish this game now. Next touchdown wins…I’ll even let you have the ball at the fifty.” I planted the bait out and the open cause I knew that Douchebag was too stupid not to take it.
“Dan what are you doing; I mean I don’t mind playing in the rain; but giving them the ball after what they did to Caramel!!!” Dash quickly got in my face about my decision.
“How is he?” I asked as I looked at the sky as rain slowly started falling.
“Well it doesn’t look like anything bad, nothing is broken; but it looks like it is hurting him some… What are you planning?” she could sense that I was up to something.
“Step three; Rainbow; step three.”
“What exactly is step 3 huh big guy?”
“Well step one was shock and awe, step two was surprise, and step three…is scare.”
“What does that mean?” I could tell by the look on her face that Dash was confused by my words.
“You know when it happens.” I wanted to say more but we were interrupted.
“Hey Mr. Thing I think we can agree to your terms; just don’t complain when you lose.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I said as I saw that they got Caramel to the sidelines and Twilight was taking a look at him; she had also put a shield over the group on the sidelines so not one would get too wet. Probably a good idea because I didn’t want to be held responsible for getting Rarity wet.
As they set him down they came back over to me and I could tell they had questions. They all looked to me and wondered what the plan was; fortunately Big Mac was the only one to ask.
“So what’s the plan Dan?”
“Glad you asked Mac. What going to happen is that you and Snowflake keep doing what you are doing, Thunderlane and the Doctor will move into the secondary with Applejack while I join to front line.”
“Hey but what about me?” Rainbow wondered what her place was in this situation.
“Oh yeah; Rainbow you just stay behind me and wait.”
“Wait for what exactly?”
“Step three.”
“I still don’t know what step three even is!!!”
“You’ll know it when you see it…now lets go before we get too soaked.”
We broke the huddle and got into our positions; Douchebag’s team had been ready about a minute ahead of us. What they weren’t ready for was what was about to happen next.
Douchebag hiked the ball and tried to wait for a receiver to get open he was flapping his wings to get about three feet off. Big Mac and Snowflake handled the blockers in front of the while our secondary managed to keep the receivers covered.
Now in the small amount of time that happened I made my move. I easily got around the blocker in front of me and went straight for Douchebag. He never saw me coming as I lowered my shoulder just a bit and lunged for him arms outstretched. I hit him straight in the barrel and wrapped my arms around him pinning his wings to his side. The ball in his outstretched hoof however went into the air and I know exactly who was there to catch it. As I landed on the pony I saw a rainbow blur shoot towards the football and head to the end zone.
Rainbow scored our winning point kind of like how I had planned. The team ran over and congratulated her and we cheered as we walked back to the Caramel and the rest of the girls that had watched us play. Pinkie in particular was really excited.
“Congratulations guys that was awesome; except for the part where Caramel got hurt that wasn’t awesome but other that that it was AWSOME. We should totally celebrate this as well as throw Dan a welcome to Ponyville party which we haven’t done yet.
“Hey Pinkie can we throw my party another day I’m kinda wet at the moment and tired from playing…how bout a day when it’s not so rainy out?”
“Sure Dan but mark my words one of these days you’re going to let me throw a party or wake up with a mustache.” Everyone looked at her trying to decipher what exactly that meant before we broke into laughter.
The big group of us walked back into Ponyville until we all started to go our separate ways for the night. I promised Lyra that I would talk to her and tell her about humans, and Rarity chastised me about getting my clothes wet and dirty.
While Twilight and I were walking back to the library Twilight posed a question to me.
“So Dan how did you like your first day in Ponyville?”
Just to mess with her I said “Eh I give it a C.”
She literally stopped dead in her tracks and her face contorted in horror. “A….C….only a C…I’ve never gotten a C before IT’S HORRIBLE!!!” she looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“Twilight!! Twilight I’m only kidding I had a fantastic day it definitely deserves an A.” She looked at me with misty eyes like something was still wrong. In a deadpanned tone I asked her “Would making it an A plus make you happy?” She shook her head vigorously. “Fine it gets an A plus then”.
She jumped into my arms with joy “Yeah I was kinda worried that you might not like it here.”
“Twilight I’ve learned a lot of things over the years and one thing I think you should try to do I to ALWAYS look on the bright side of life…IT can always get worse.”
The pony in my arms thought to herself for a moment as we got closer to the library and then asked me another question. “It can get worse than being chased by Fluttershy’s chickens?”
“Yes there could have been a lot more chickens.”
We both laughed as we got to the front door of the library. I set Twilight down and opened the door for us. We got in and Spike was waiting for us with some hot soup. We told Spike about everything that happened and like everyone else he laughed at the chicken bit. Afterwards it was about time for bed and I noticed that most of my clothes were still soaked.
“Hey Twilight where am I sleeping tonight?”
“Well since we basically already slept in the same bed together I thought you wouldn’t mind…do you?”
“Um…no not really I just thought that because of you reaction this morning that…”
“It’s fine I was just surprised that’s all…and no hugging me like a teddy bear in my sleep!” she ended that sentence fiercely.
“Only if you want it right?” of course I was being sarcastic but I was surprised by her reply.
“Yes only if I want…” she started to say but then caught herself in the middle of that embarrassment. The blush on her face was pretty noticeable as she struggled to find the right words. “I didn’t mean that… I mean you were kinda warm but…I mean…”
“Twilight there are times to keep talking and then times to just stop.”
“Shutting her mouth and nodding furiously Twilight agreed.”
Being the funny guy that I was though I figured that one more joke couldn’t hurt. “Do you want me to carry you to your bed milady I said picking up the small lavender pony again.
“Dan!!! What are you! Stop it” she said fighting a fit of giggles. I saw her horn light up and noticed her using telekinesis on books and floating them towards me intent on hitting me probably.
“Ah runaway!!” I fake screamed as I moved up the stairs to the bedroom; Twilight still in my arms. Getting inside and closing the door behind me I set Twilight down who was still angrily laughing a me.
“What did you do that for?”
“To be funny of course” I said as I took off most of my clothes except for my boxers.
“Wha Why are you getting undressed?” if Twilight blushed any harder she might pass out form all the blood in her face.
“Well you don’t want me to sleep in the bed with wet clothes now do you…plus sometimes I normally sleep like this.” I said as I climbed…well more like fell into the bed; pony bed are kind low to the ground sometimes. I got comfortable while Twilight turned of the light and got into her side of the bed. While getting comfortable she moved a pillow in-between us and stated.
“Alright so don’t cross this line, no funny business you got that mister.”
I tried my hardest not to laugh at her while saying “I make no promises while unconscious.”
“ugh fine just try to stay on your side.” I’m not totally sure if she ever stopped blushing. While waiting she floated a peace of parchment and a quill up.
“What’s this for Twilight?”
“Well I figured that you might want to write to the Princess about your first day in Ponyville.”
“Hmm sounds like a good idea…no peeking though.”
“Fine.” She said as she laid down and turned away from me. I grabbed the quill and began to write.
Dear Princess Celestia (Also Princess Luna, Cadence, and Shining Armor if they are present)
Well princess today was my first “normal day” in Ponyville and let me tell you some interesting things happened. Well first after waking in the middle if the night to find Twilight freezing on her couch I carried her back to her bed and put her in with me; where in some point I snuggled her like a teddy bear. We woke up to her friends taking embarrassing photos of us; I you want one please contact Rarity I know that I will be getting one. After helping Fluttershy I realized that you should NEVER EVER mess with her chickens. At the spa a nice message made my body forget the pain of yesterday. And I was glad to find out that the food tastes absolutely great. Also I met Lyra the town’s and possibly Equestria’s only anthropologist; the study of humans by the way. She literally dragged through Ponyville; magically I might add; just to prove that I exist; now there is a girl on a mission. Oh and also I played a game of hoofball and showed some idiot colts about how it’s done. I got soaked doing it though and I feel like I may be under the weather tomorrow…oh well. But for now I going to sleep and wait to see what tomorrow holds for me. Hopefully Twilight doesn’t mind me snuggling her again she’s kinda soft like a pillow... and I think she enjoys it.
Yours truly; Equestria’s only human,
Dan
I finished the letter and quickly woke spike up and had him send the letter. I then laid down fully to go to sleep for the night wondering that if today was any indication that my future days in Ponyville would only get more interesting.
MEANWHILE IN THE CANTERLOT PALACE
The two princesses and the royal couple were having a bit of tea before some went to bed and one went to rule a country during the night. A wisp of emerald flame caught their attention as did the scroll that came out of it.
“Ah I wonder if this is from Twilight.” Celestia said as she unfurled the scroll with her magic and began to read. “Oh it’s from Dan about his day in Ponyville.” Everyone seemed pleased about the letter. Celestia began reading down and it only took a moment before she blushed a little and started giggling.
“Sister what is it?” Luna said as she leaned over and started reading. Again only a few moments passed before she was giggling like a school girl. Celestia then moved the scroll to the other side of the table and said.
“Shining Armor I think you should read this too.” She couldn’t stop giggling while talking.
“Um ok your majesty” he took the scroll in his own magic and began to read.
“uh huh woke up….pictures?” he spoke only a few words quietly “spa….hoofball…” he was at the bottom of the letter when it happened. “going to bed….snuggling with Twilight….WHAT!!!!” now he grabbed the letter with his hooves his eyes bugging out and frantically re-reading again. “THINK SHE LIKES IT!!!” he screamed as he fell backwards onto his back letting the letter fly into the air. It was grabbed by his wife’s magic that brought it to her eye level and read it herself. She also began giggling just like Celestia and Luna. She was the first to say something in the midst of the laughter.
“Oh Twilight how daring; snuggling with Dan.” At this all three Alicorns broke into laughter; not paying much attention to the guard captain twitching on the ground and who remained in that state for the rest of the night.
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OH IM AFRAID THAT CHAPTER 6 WILL BE QUITE OPERATIONAL WHEN YOU ARRIVE
I suggest getting an editor to fix errors for you while you work on other chapters.
great chapter! keep up the good work
2127996 i have one he is just taking a break for college when this story is said and done it will all be fixed
2127883 snuggles are awesome
will you pwease snuggle with me
and belly rubs tooo
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/222/c/6/belly_rub___by_hinauchi-d5ajtjk.png
2128010 i...i....................
Oh the joy this chapter has presented is fanfuckingtastic i look fowrd to the next chapter a glee only pinky pie could muster.
2128136 pleeease ;D
2137079 sorry i try to get things but i miss them my editor is working some life things out so everything is technically unedited till he gets back
OK IM LATE ON CHAPTER 8 IT WILL BE UP TONIGHT THOUGH!!!!!
Yep, classic Gary Stu.
was i the only one to imagine shining armor as uberhaxornova (a.k.a james) during a rage video when he red the letter
.. watch out Dan, we have an OPB on the way.
either get an editor, or take writing classes. These errors are annoying, and got me confused more than once
I would fave but stupid tablet won't let me
“Ah runaway!!”
Monty Python: Holy grail.
In this chapter and the last.
Happy now!
GRAHAHHAHHAHHAHA
Loving this so much! But not looking forward to twilight x Dan -__-
....Ptttfffhahahahahahahahahahahaahha!!!!
did she already visited the Human world in this story? It looked like she didn´t believed in Humans a few days befor, and now she knows what it means if he get´s naked.
funny moment at the end
Huh. I expected more violence than shock from shining.
6023729 no she's not an alicorn yet
Fuck, reading this story while stoned was a horrible idea. Between the awful grammar, weird POV shifts and semi-coherent plot, I'd give this story a 7 out of 10. Needs work. It has lots of potential. There are all sorts of groups on FIMFic dedicated to helping people find Editors. Go looking. Most work for free, so you don't have to worry about money. I should know, I used to be a part of the Editing community. Editors are really opinionated though, and they will tell you what they think regardless of whether you want to hear it or not, so be prepared.
8762007
7/10? that the best bad review I've ever gotten thanks. you're kinda right though there were many problems over the course of writing this with editing and such. I had editors. but shit gets in the way of stuff and something never got done. hell, I don't think I officially ended this story(last main chapter) with an editor. I've just been to busy with other things to try and get a hold of one to go back over things. maybe one day
Now that a very clever and diffrent Idea making twilight and vinyl cousin and pips her brother that's a very interesting idea not Cabin I no but very orgienal
Found these for you
so not one would get too wet [ no ]
secondary with Applejack while I join to front line.” [ the ]
I just thought that because of you reaction this morning [ your ]
I you want one please contact Rarity [ If ]
She literally draggedmissed a word through Ponyville [ me ]
I'm surprised you didnt have a minor fanboy moment of being able to write Dear Princess Celestia.
9801116
I probably would've gone "full Anon" there.
"Dear Princess SunnyBottom,
My frist day here wasn't actually too bad. I mean, I got chased through town by Fluttershy's chickens (a word to the wise: don't mess with her chickens, they mess back), got magically towed through it sometime later by Ponyville's resident anthropologist, and then played a badass game of handegg.
I had no idea you can see blush through purple. Sorry, lavender. Turns out you can.
..."
You get the idea. ;]
I hate to see how he handled it if she ever got an official boyfriend. He barely take the slightest hint towards that subject.
Again no guy worth his pride is going to let some douchebag jock stereotype wannabe go prancing around thinking he's top s*** and push people around I most certainly wouldn't