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She was his little sister, he just couldn't stand the thought of her being with another stallion, least the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. She must be under some type of mind control! How could Twilight Sparkle even think of marrying Discord? Shining Armor would not stand with his hooves crossed while his sister ruined her life, he would do anything to break her free of the "spell". But is she really being controlled, or he is simply jealous?
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Discolight is most awesome ship!
Poor Shiny though, he's gonna have a hard time getting used to Discord as his brother in law.
just....just..
This is so hype, I mean the hypest. I can only think about how hype the story and concept is. Oh did I mention hype because I think I forgot
1976183 what does hype mean?
1976206 It is another word for awesome.
1976241 thanks
Sounds interesting.
I'm tracking it.
u wot m8
1976599
what does 'u wot m8' mean?
Twilight sparkle is marrying HUH?
1976618
basically this
not a huge fan of shipping and this is probably the strangest pairing I've come across... however, it's sparked my interested.
I'll be keeping this in my favourites ;)
Oh and sorry, also, when some pony is speaking it's best to go like this...
"Blah blah blah whatever"
Said Prickly Pete (I dunno ok? :D)
"Really? My favorite food is gummy worms too!"
Rarity replied.
Discord and Twilight? Yay! Fnord!
Shining Armor has no trust in someone he knows nothing about and has no proof that Twilight is or is not under a mind control spell caused by Discord.
. I can't wait to see how the rest of the story plays out.
Till next time, my dear.
Way overprotective brother.
A job well done but maybe you could proof read it?
1980751 what is proof reading?
Shining Armour, you are an idiot.
1976171 Ah! I remember that video!
I calling it now, there will be a repeat of shining and cadance's rehearsal
also in the spirit of a chaotic twilight
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974940928/h78216B98/
It's good, just needs some editing.
1980769 It's were you check to make sure there aren't any mistakes, and correct it
Role-reversal, i like this
1982615 ok
:D
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8iat06NaI1qc5ffho1_1280.png
1983259 is that baby luna?
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/481/794/38d.jpg
.....
No, i think not.
At this point its like a rehash of A Canterlot Wedding. I'm not that happy abut that.
1985407 well, I did base this part on canterlot wedding a bit
Wow this story is great i can't wait for the next chapter.
and to speed up your writing process i encourage you to drink
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974940928/h78216B98/
this image may have attracted discord to twilight in the first place
Your output rate is GLORIOUS!
1985490, it gets worse... 5 hour energy, an infusion of the stuff sleeping lets you get back and, worst of all... Giving it to Pinkie
This story is pretty simple, and definitely formulaic. The reason I'm still reading it is because I really like Twicord shipping, and it's hard to find much in that category. What makes me consider not continuing to read is the sloppiness of the writing. Capitalization, grammar, spelling, and word use are all consistently bad throughout all four chapters, and it's very distracting having to try to figure out what you meant to write from what is actually written. Randomly flipping to a page, I found the following errors:
"I'm sure your parents will explain it to you sometime," (Comma instead of period.)
Discord giggled, remembering the first time he attempted to give her the 'Talk'. (The period should go inside the quotation marks.)
Cadence, however, was still worried about Shining Armor, and feared he would commit a nonsense. (I'm guessing the phrase "commit a nonsense" was intentionally un-grammatical. Just putting it here for completeness.)
"Hey, your 'surprise'," she whispered, to which Discord panicked. (The comma after "surprise" should go inside of both sets of quotation marks.)
"oh, I almost forgot!" he snapped his fingers, and a small box with a red ribbon appeared in front of Twilight, "I... made this for you, but I'm not really goof at sewing, so...." he was getting redder by the minute, "Please don't laugh at me," ("Oh" should be capitalized. "He" should also probably be capitalized. The comma after "Twilight" should probably be a period. "Goof" should be "good." "Please" should not be capitalized. The comma at the end should be a period.)
It was a lilac-colored scarf, with golden trimming, although it was crudely done, but intention is that mattered. (Awkwardly phrased. Should be "but the intention is what mattered.")
However, what called the attention of everyone was the words on the scarf... (Should be "were the words.")
So, from a randomly-chosen selection of text, there were about as many errors as there were sentences. That being said, I probably will keep reading this story, as I like Twicord enough to put up with having to translate the story into English. But please do try to fix some of the errors. About a quarter of the errors in your story should be easily caught just by reading through it again after you're done writing it.
congrats because as of today's episode this story can be put in the main canon!
also love the irony of things being played out just like they didn in shinings wedding
1985760 thanks for the advice, I'll try to be more careful in the next chapter, and I'll correct the others
1985871 And thank you for being receptive to criticism. Here's a short guide that I put together awhile ago that covers everything you need to know about quotation marks, and how they interact with other punctuation: The Egghead's Guide to Punctuating Speech and Thought.
Does anyone thinks this sounds familiar???
I've only read the first few chapters and it's great!
I really like how you made Rainbow Dash so accepting, too. Everybody always makes her some jerk that refuses to accept someone else just because of a past mistake.
And have you thought about getting an editor? I keep spotting all of these grammar mistakes that make the reading a little 'bumpy' and sometimes hard to read.
I'd be willing to try and help out as an editor if you want
Anyways, again great story!
1986831 yep, please, i need some help because I have still much to learn about punctuation
I love this story!
1987017how does the editing work?
1987019
Well, if you let me edit for you, I'd pretty much be 'combing out' all of the tiny mistakes and smoothing the whole thing out. I wouldn't be changing any of the story, I'd just be correcting the things like spelling, or if you missed a period or comma, etc..
I've found that it helps the story a lot. I know what it's like, too. Whenever I write a story, I hate having to go back over it and make the edits myself. And I don't even fix most of the mistakes... and I make a lot of mistakes
I guess you would put it on Gdocs so that they could see it, or just send the editor the file through email on a Word document and they'd send you the edited version.
Anyways, this is a great fic, and I'd be glad to help out if I can
198707 what is a Gdocs?
1987077 GDocs is short for Google Docs. That's what many writers use instead of sites like this or fanfiction.net
For those who didn't get the reference.
Good song BTW.