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Short survey on signature errors, trying to narrow down the cause: http://goo.gl/forms/sznzuBu7MR
Oooooh, you spoil us AP!
EDIT - would it be an appropriate place to claim that I have 'popped this story's cherry'?
Three weeks later, I just want to point out how hilarious it is that my simple comment has so many clicks, both up and down.
Love what you're doing with this Ingress verse series so far AP, please keep up the excellent writing, it is always enjoyable to read your writing.
I thought this was coming out long ago!
... oh, what the hell sure. I'll read this
Guess this will be coming out in parts then.
Rainbow Dash was sitting in one corner of the restaurant, hooves crossed in front of her, head resting on them, watching the door like a half.
Calf? Hawk? Mmm, I suspect you ment hawk.
Lionel seems like he wasn't very happy to have his week long vacation- er, job interrupted by a, ugh, customer. That could explain most of his bristly as a cactus attitude. Still, it's good to see the two finally getting along, and that he's not a completely self-centered person when a mare's in obvious pain.
p.s. I don't see a gore tag so this won't devolve into a pony version of The Shining, eh? Heh.
i prefer to picture him watching the door like a calf, its much funnier that way
Nice. I wonder what's gunna happen next...
Needs a chainsaw
Featured on fimfiction's homepage. Good on yer, Anonymous Pegasus.
(Joke) Alt. Title: Across The Ingress Universe: A Humance Vacation
I don't think Rainbow Dash will forget his kindness. :)
It's good to see the soft sensitive side of Rainbow Dash.
Well, Lionel was certainly kinder than most people would have been had they been blackmailed into action upon pain of property damage. Considering that the only interactions he and Rainbow Dash had had up to the wing scene had involved either the afterforementioned blackmail or lecturing him for finding her unpleasant, it certainly demonstrates that he does have a soft side that his previous actions gave no hint to.
The text is well formatted and easy to read, and the story flowed well. While I very much doubt that Rainbow Dash would use the kind of language that she did in the spa scene, certainly nothing so formal at the very least, otherwise it made for an interesting enough first chapter.
I await the next installment.
>>19477921947792 yes, yes it would.
Nice to see a male reacting towards a tsundere-type character as I would hope to do so, i.e. "shut up bitch" rather than "w-well, ok, I guess..." or somesuch.
Mythbusters episode about Unicorn magic.
So much win!
Here, now go kill yourself with it and have a nice fucking day :)
Finally, a change of pace.
Nice work, bud.
this is funny and awesome
I'm liking it, please continue
i like it keep up the good work!
Wow, Rainbow is reverting to GIlda-levels of bitch in this one. The services are not owed as the hotel ISN'T OPEN. Are you sure this isn't Lightning Dust in a wig?
So far, I'm liking this. Rainbow is almost too annoying, but honestly, I see it being completely in character. I also like the quip about the computers, it's a nice explanation. Looking forward to later chapters. This is an enjoyable setup for more.
I WANT to READ
Buuuuuuuut I wait until the end
I find it hard to believe that RD is being such a bitch. Then again, I find other things much more common place that that hard to believe as well. Like stupidity. Anyway, fun story so far. Looking forward to more of this!
>>19485001948500 That's not the only sensitive side were going to see
Oh shit! I didn't realize it wasn't complete yet!
Would it be weird if I thought Lionel was gonna put spoonfulls of ice cream on RD's wing and lick it off?
I say A-. A+ worth of writing quality (Seriously, you're a -really- good writer), only brought down to an A- by RD seeming a wee bit out of character. There were a few lines where she sounded way too formal, almost Rarity-esque. Still, for writing this good, I can ignore such things :-p. Damn good job!
I can sympathize with this dude, he just wants to be alone but RD keeps butting in.
I want to hug you.
My cheeks are fiery red and I do not know why...
Amazing another Ingress story that isn't a one shot. Well it's about time Rainbow Dash gets someone.
Mythbusters episode about unicorn magic? I would like to watch that.
You got me interested! MOAR!!!
I agree with some people here though: RD was a bit out-of-character. Maybe it was due to her wing?
I know RD can act a bit entitled at times, but this seems a bit out of character, even for her. Perhaps it was her stint in the Wonderbolts that made her act all "Do you know who I am?", but still, she could have apologized.
I'm interested in seeing where you go with this, and I wonder why Rainbow came to the resort anyway, it's not like she's there for company.
Also, for the love of god, its PEGASI. .
Patiently awaiting the next chapter
“Don’t even pretend you don’t feel the same way. If you weren’t bound by the moral obligations of your position here, then you’d have told me rack off the moment I showed up,” Rainbow Dash explained calmly. “And you wouldn’t have given a single care what I thought.”
It's buck off and p.s. if I was listening I would be like can I join
Tsundere Dash, wingrubs, wingboners, and human/pony clop from the guy who wrote Ingress? I'm not even going to read it before I favorite this! This is going to be good!
P.S.: You had me at "Tsundere"
OOC RD is a dick
All of my this.
Can't wait for new chapters, this is seriously awesome so far. It's like I can imagine myself watching this story, because the description is also awesome. :D
Oh man your imagination is the essence of your talent in writing.
>>19519461951946 Well, you have to consider it was 3 years since Ingress, and she's spent a bit of time with the Wonderbolts already. She's bound to sound more mature and formal at times.
RD seems a little out of character but other than that, I enjoyed the characterization even though I found the flirting to be a little rushed since the MC and RD sounded like they were one step away from a fist fight a few times the first chapter. You have my attention.
I feel that RD is a bit OOC, but it's good otherwise.
This was funny. Really looking forward to the next chapter. As stated by at least one other person, RD seems a bit OOC, but not much. Completely acceptable in the framework of the story. Hell, it can easily be explained by the time passage and her change in occupation.
On a side note:
I think that was supposed to be "hawk".
I'm not noticing the ooc Rainbow. I mean, she seems a little different, but understandably so given the circumstances. It's not like she's hanging out with any of her friends. I act different around people i don't know too. My assumption was that it's a sort of defense mechanism, so to speak. When RB met this human, she couldn't just take no for an answer, that would make her look weak, and looking weak is not cool. If she just rolled over and admitted to being wrong or making a mistake, that would have been out of character. Rainbow is obviously a dominative pony socially. She may be sensitive on the inside, but that's all the more reason for her to be a bitch around those she doesn't know well enough to trust. This is more a side of Rainbow that we just don't see. We usually see her around her friends, where admitting fault is ok, because her friends already know her and won't judge her for it.
That's my assumption for her behavior, anyway.
Edit: Oh yeah, awesome job so far. Usually not into human fics, but this is good. Usually human characters in fics like this tend to have no personality, but this is different, and i'm all about it.