Featured: 10/25/2023
Fame and glory, these things are all Spitfire has ever needed. She had her Wonderbolts, some close friends, and the adoration of millions. For her, she needed almost nothing. However over time, The Wonderbolts have changed and so has Equestria as a whole, and certain requirements are needed in order to not only join, but also continue to stay. With these requirements, Spitfire is met with challenges from all over, and she begins to wonder if her life as the Captain of the Wonderbolts is coming to an end. However she soon meets up with an old friend from her days in the academy Orion.
After this, Spitfire learns a bit about Orion and his own home life, and it starts to make her question. Does she consider him more than a friend? With these revelations, what will change? and more importantly, how will it affect her career as a Wonderbolt?
Not bad! A decent, solid premise. Could definitely use some polish (occasional grammar/spelling mistakes) but otherwise an interesting read! I personally use https://app.grammarly.com/ for my chapters. It catches stuff I miss.
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Thanks for the input! I'm trying my best to correct the grammar and spelling mistakes by using Grammarly, but otherwise I am happy to know you are enjoying the story!
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You are most welcome! =)
would you like to borrow a character?
So hes alive
I like the story so far, looking forward to more.
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Lmao, writers block is a bitch XD
you're
chuckling
orders. also, is it supposed to be a bear or a beer?
maybe
they're
Since
Captain
Expenses
Captain. and similar misspellings of captain later on.
Is he one of the Captains of the Royal Guards or The Captain of the Royal Guards? Later chapters seem to have him as the latter.
you're. the Captian.
Has Orion appeared in any of your other stories? I swear I’ve seen a My Little Pony OC with that name before I saw this story.
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He has yes, though he was mutch more of a background character. Unlike this story in which he is one of the main characters.
This is getting interesting.
Yellowjacket needs to get squaaaashed
Wooooooo
Have not read this story. Still not sure if I will but it is complete so it's tempting.
But that cover picture screams "dear god my life time friend want's to be something and I have NO clue how to react to this!"
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LMAO that's honestly fair. The cover photo is very old from when I first got my OC lol. I promise you that it's not what the fic is mainly about.
I’m interested in why Orion left Cloudsdale. 29 years is a long time.
Interesting. I wonder if Orion might know some ponies in Canterlot who would be willing to replace Yellowjacket..
The use of auxiliary conjugates instead of actual verb tenses are a little distracting.
I think Rapid is crossing the line from protective brother to saboteur.
You’ve got too much on your plate right now to be worried about all the what-ifs, Spitfire. You’re both experienced captains. You can deal with it.
Paperwork, politics, and publicity. Somewhere in the betweens, there might be some practice. That, Soarin and Rainbow, is what happens when you get promoted. Avoid it at all costs if you just want to fly.
That right there is sexual assault if it’s not physical. As an officer, Spitfire knows Soarin as witness can get Yellowjacket tied up in legal proceedings for a long time and likely have him removed once the Inspector General’s investigatory audit brings everything else to light. Just the allegation will get him transferred at least.
That actually sounds like a pretty good match, Spitfire. You both will have a very easy time understanding and empathizing with the troubles of the other.
That’s avoiding morning traffic in Cloudsdale? I’d call it ‘avoiding the lunch rush.’ These are all military affiliated ponies here. 10am is the day half over with.
Why don’t they release the scandal story to a friendly and sympathetic journalist? Cut the fangs off of the blackmail so it won’t work? Yellowjacket doesn’t own a monopoly on every media outlet. Go to a different company.