I don't believe it. I can't believe it. It shouldn't be possible. A lifetime of common sense tells me that. And yet, they say it is so.
I don't know how they found me. Hell, I don't know why they CHOSE me. ME. Of all people. To be given an opportunity like this? It's almost too good to be true. Men would kill to take my place.
They're taking me somewhere. The car is still running. I have a blindfold on; I can't see anything. Suddenly, the engine rumbles to a halt. We have arrived.
It begins.
Chapters (3)
Sounds interesting so far,if you'd like then I'd be willing to help discuss ideas, I can see good potential :)
My grammar sucks but i have a lot of ideas,so if you need help just let me know.
This story is Brilliant so far hopefully this will blossom!
1944481 Thanks! Honestly I have quite a few ideas on what I could do, what I really want to know is what I shouldn't do. I want to know what I can get away with without being despised.
1944759 Thank you! Again, I'm hoping to learn more about what not to do. Might as well push the limits right?
Really, if you were to actually a list of 'do not and cliches' for HiEs, then, well, none would be written. Just see where it takes you really. Interesting enough concept as it is though.
This looks like a pretty good idea. If you'd like to bounce ideas around let me know, though, I'm mostly good for comedy and non-sense type stuff.
Sounds good so far, I'd give it the green light.
I LOVE this story so far, also, I have no idea what the rules are, so I can't judge based off of them, I think that you should continue, I really would like to see this story unfold
because, it is, as Rainbow Dash says "So awesome!"
1947229 Heh, true enough. Still, I don't want to do something that would get me instantly hated. I don't like being that one guy (ok one of many) who goes on one of those alicorn OC fics and says "bro sorry, but this is just not something that is done." Extreme example I know but you get the point. Thanks for your thoughts!
1949976 Thanks for your thoughts! Unfortunately, this fic is a bit light on the 'nonsensey' stuff.
1959108 Thank you! We'll see where this goes. I have two more chapters in mind that I will write and then the tough choices arrive.
1967867 Haha, wow! I'm honored that you think so highly of my silly little idea. I'll be honest, it was a blast to write if nothing else. I think I cranked this out in like five hours haha. There's at least two more chapters guaranteed so stay tuned!
Yay, thanks
/)
1974519 (\
I think you mean "compensated".
Hmm, I don't have any ideas as to where you can take this, but I will be keeping an eye on it.
1989989
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I...I made a mistake? It's not perfect?? I...I don't...I can't...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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My ability to boast about having perfect technical skills is tarnished forever!! I can't be perfect anymore!
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Haha, ok enough of that. I guess that's what happens when I try to rush things. I wanted to submit this before getting dragged off somewhere by my friends so I had to skim the last third or so pretty quickly for errors. Oops. Thanks a bunch for catching that, I really appreciate it. I'll get around to continuing this pretty soon methinks.
1991778 I'm so sorry!!!
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I couldn't help it!! It just jumped out at me!!!
1992448 That's good. That's how it USUALLY works for me...dammit brain why you so fail?! Thanks a bunch though. Despite what people may say, editing is harder than it looks!
OHHHH SO I SEE THERE IS A NEW CHAPTER
Commence read
Edit #1: 'YOLO, they said'
You were told by shady government agents (of America, might I add) that they made a portal across the universe to a world inhabbited by technicolored magical ponies from a television show...ahh What the hell YOLO
Edit #2: Yes I am editing as I read along.
Edit #3: 'It was a trap. From the very beginning. As soon as those two goons set their eyes on me I was done for. They knew exactly what to say, exactly what to do, and exactly how to suck me in. Well played, government freaks. Well played.'
like I said...AMERICAN GOVERNMENT...they're always a trap. Everything they say is either a conspiracy or a lie. Fix the economy LOLNOPE oh look, Congressmen Joe got AN INCREASED SALARY, I WONDER WHY.
Edit #4: 'What the hell was I even thinking? Oh, right. Ponies. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em…' GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME GG WP KTHNXBAI MALZAHAMAD ALI
Edit #5: Pausing read, playing league now cause of Malzahamad
Edit #6: I LIED
Edit #7: After all, real men don’t cry. Oh, who am I kidding. I’m bawling my eyes out. For the record, I can totally see you do that
Edit #8: Truly, there is no higher honor imaginable.
I mean, come on. For country? Pfft. They don’t actually care about you. The ERD is an excellent example of that. For honor? That’s kinda a lame excuse. Get a hold of yourself. For religion? No. Just no. For the lolz? …Goodness, I hope not. But at least I’ll let those hooligans know that they SERIOUSLY done goofed, and hopefully ensure that the next hapless victim they pull from the streets will at least get the adventure he deserves.
Lol America doesn't care about you, totes correct. YOU BE INSULTING THE HONOR?! Religion? HA (not saying anymore in fear of insulting someone...wait...I don't care...(Parentheses are awesome))
Edit #8 ok NOW I'm gonna play Malzahamad.
Edit #8b should also get on skype.
Edit #8c: I forgot...FIRST
Edit #9: Back from epic game, 27/10 Malzahamad.
And he wakes up 364 days later.
2053834 I find your attempts to reciprocate my own noble efforts most amusing, and commend you for mustering such an enjoyable response. I also respect the certain pontifications that you selected as the targets for your witty jests, for they were indeed inserted with the full intention of prompting reactions of amusement and/or developing impulses to create responses in the dear reading audience. I consider this a glorious victory for mine own humble work, and do indeed look forward to similar future events.
Now you make me want to play Malzahar. And I'll probably feed my damn lane cuz I suck at mid. ...Wanna play?
2053948 "I've thought up an ending to my book." -Bilbo Baggins
2054669 Ha!
I love the book, but I haven't seen the movie yet.
Ugh, YOLO!!! Every time I hear someone say that, I just want to shoot them. Repeatedly.
2054745 Go see it, it's good.
2056953 I know. I hate it too. But I couldn't resist throwing it in there... Getting ANY sort of reaction from the audience is a win for me! Hehe. Besides, don't we ALL want to shoot us some dumb government officials?
2056956 Well, for me that would be bad. Technically speaking, I am a government official......
even if they are a bunch of cockbiting fucktards.
2056959 Well yeah. Seriously, who else throws innocent bystanders to their dooms? Only the lowest of the low, for sure.
HAHAHAHA OWWW IT HURTS TO LAUGH MY SIDES THEY BURN!
2060415 Heh. I'm glad you found this so amusing. Even though, y'know, the main character's practically dying. If I may be so bold, may I inquire into what in particular you found to be so funny? Thanks!
2066738 I don't know why but i laugh at my pain and everyone elses the sound effects Quadrupled that effect..I mean i will help the person up who is hurting buti will be laughing or giggling like a fool....Well better yet said like if someone biffed it or face planted it or pain angled it i will be in hysterics.
2066738 Here this was going threw my head when i read that
now tell me that that was not funny
2066750 Haha! Ok, yes that was funny. I'm actually surprised to hear that it was the onomatopoeia of all things that made you laugh. I didn't think it was that funny at the time, but now that you mention it, yeah it would be pretty ridiculous to observe something like that. Thank you for your input, I enjoy getting glimpses of my readers' minds.
2066809 No problem Brocive!
2066839 Brohemoth.
2066867 ........Crap you win this time.../)
2066875 (\ Broseidon.
2066879 Hydro pump Brohoof! /)
2066882 (\
well, for now it's easier to explain what's happening with his injuries; also, since Twilight is there now, questions without end shall be a long process. how you have Twilight react and how you have your brony here respond are going to be a big part of the story. You've set a precedent in that humans aren't a myth or anything of common knowledge. Does Celestia know about them? This is a new species for Ponies. How can you explain the existence of Equestria at all? Do you even want to touch on dimensional theory or do you want to just leave it at "Science/Magic, how does it work?" He will obviously be bed-ridden for a while, so does Shane have visitors? Or, who is allowed to visit? This is a new species all together. How do ponies, besides the ones we've seen react? pinkie, for instance, will probably be immediately aware of a new soul and want to throw a party. How do you handle that? Which ponies are you interested in your brony coming into contact with? Is he going to be allowed to see Derpy?
So many questions...
2232020 Indeed. I have answers for...most of those. I have a hospital scene planned out and that takes care of the immediate future. As for the dimensionality stuff, like "I" said earlier, I have no friggin' clue how the ERD's stuff works lol. You'll notice that I attempted to explain it at the end of the chapter, but was mysteriously interrupted...
I know he's going to get back eventually. In a year. The question is, what to use as filler? I did have one idea for a rather "epic" final plot but it's...kinda ridiculous. Not sure if want.
2232182
Did that epic plot possibly have something to do with the ERD doing some kind of weird invasion or strange negotiations? That's my first thought as to the direction when reading what you've written. That being said....that may not be the direction you want to take unless you've got a solid, interesting way to do it. As for "filler", which is hardly filler considering it will be the majority of your story, what would your brony want to do? where does he want to go? how does he explain or does he explain the whole brony/tv show thing? Do you even want to bring up "human"-tech? Is Shane going to be able to even give such an explanation? Who are his friends in Equestria going to be? Are you going to do anything with villains? What did he bring with him? Are you going to try and incorporate any common brony traditions, like Doctor Whooves or Octavia and Vinyl? Personallly, I think it makes sense for Celestia to show up soon to talk with him on the basis of your brony being a representative of a new, sentient species, from a distant land. How is he treated and how will you portray Celestia? Can Luna see into his dreams and would she even be interested? Ships or no (I personally say no but whatevs, your story)? This has potential and I enjoy the reality you're injecting into it, even if it does suck to see Derpy injured. Maybe those questions will help a bit.
2232307 Never actually considered the ERD. Nah, they actually broke the machine sending Shane there lol.
Yeah...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe I'll just keep it lighthearted and slice-of-lifey for a while. I have quite a few ideas for...potentially humorous situations.
2232423
Huzzah for teh lolz! They are the friends of the entire world! Oooo! You could have get caught up in a musical number and be concerned as to how it happened. But maybe that's overused.
I would of been like " I come from beyond the veil of the universe"
Good choice man.
As for what to do? I just finished up my own HiE self insert, and just did what I would have done in any normal situation as well.
So, just do what you think is right.
2266735 Well yeah, but where's the fun in that? I want to introduce...extraneous circumstances, but I don't want to go TOO over the top.
2267346 Like sniping five diamond dogs in Canterlot castle grounds to protect the Element Bearers and Celestia, running around one of the city squares in CQB with 3 massive ones, and jumping off the city walls. Then being given your own squad and assaulting a Changeling hive with a magically induced nuke?
Just a normal day for me!!
But seriously, just think of how you would react in those situations and then let it flow from there.
2269819 Uh huh, right. I guess we'll see. Not like I have anything lined up for the next chapter or anything, though. I'm working on my other stuff.
Hoooooly fucking CRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGE