Looks like my predictions on what was going to happen on this chapter were correct. There would be a cult in the hospital, attempting to finish AJ. Although, I didn't foresee Twilight going to impale that *censored*...
I don't feel comfortable doing this every time, but I'm just doing this to help ya. Knowing that your pre-readers are not bothering anymore... :
for a felt eternity
I think you mean, “which felt like an eternity” Or is it a different way of saying it?
still pinning the stallion’s head against the wall with her eyes focusing the ground
I think “on” is missing before “the ground”. The sentence doesn’t sound complete without it.
It sounds like Twilight is going to be in charge of this Rebellion in MI3. I presume it will all end in tears, due to the individuals will not being strong enough to withstand the curse.
I know the story is tagged as Tragedy (sad ending regardless), but will there be some happiness at the end of the series?
3145388 (EDITED: Missing words and spelling errors) I don't mind pointing out the (possible) errors. I just don't want to be a Trixie showing off here. I mean, even though my writing skills had improved over the year, I don't think I'll match your skills anytime soon. I haven't attempted to write in 3rd person yet though. Well I have done a 1st person narrator kind of view. But it's just an alternative ending for me and my co-authors story.
I honestly cant spoil the final conclusion to the series. All that I can say is that it is the ending which makes the most sense.
Now I can't wait for the next chapter.
I'm still surprised that Twilight has changed her ways. On the Dual ending, even though she was doomed and lost her friends, she still wouldn't harm anypony. Well, she was at a check mate situation though...
I'll be looking forward to your next chapter by the way. Good luck, Nero.
3145559 You are always looking forward to the next chapter Anyway, in the duel, twilight DID change her mind and end fluttershy's suffering after she woke up as an undead. But at that point, she already was no longer a pony.
This situation is fundamentaly different. She just lost her innocence as in never having harmed another creature. She made herself a murderer for a greater good, not because she wanted to spare a friend who was already lost.
Twilight Sparkle is now at the level that she can take on the Cultists! Sooner or later she'd be slaying demons along side the reapers.
New Abilities: - Demonic Determination: Twilight will stop at nothing to rid the world of Demons and Cultists, Twilight is now able to kill freely. - Solid Stance Lvl 3: Twilight is now even less affected by Maledictum Insania - Arcane Armoury Lvl 2: Twilight can now summon sharper magical swords that have greater damage and speed. - Prevailing Perception Lvl 3: It is now rather easy for Twilight to recognise a Cultist when she sees one. ---------- Who else would like to see an MI game?
3160921 3160982 The thought actually came to me a while back... But it wouldn't be recommended because: Hasbro are putting fans that make none-profit stuff, are being force to destroy their projects. Fighting is Magic for example by mane6.
By the way, are you planning to evolve Twi into Twi Alicorn some point?
3185751 No. I already went an entirely different route compared to the original show. Trying to blend back to be as close to the show as possible again would only end up making it look fake and unreal. Twilight will stay a unicorn with enormous power until the very end, but I am having a few very good ideas of how to use Twilicorn for Cupcake Factory.
3185767 I'll be happy to give the story go, when it is published here.
Hope it won't be too Pinkamena-style though. But I don't think I have to worry, all your work so far is brilliant... even though it has been mostly sad.
3185814 Sadness can be great if you portion it right. Overdoing it like my little dashie only wrecks you. I mix all kinds of emotions. Anger, happyness, sadness, fear... but the one i enjoy the most is very unconventional to think of as an emotion: insanity.
Anyway, the content of Cupcake Factory is completely based on demand. I will write waht you guys want to read.
I like to focus a lot on the emotions of the characters. But may weakness is just finding the right use of words, to describe the scenario without repeating them. Well, I think I'm getting better though. Thesauruses are very helpful, but I got to be careful.
I know I keep saying this...: looking forward to the next chapter.
3185909 Now that I'm done with my training and started working, real life has me in its grip a lot. I hardly find the time and inspiration to write, but that wont stop me. All this means is that I will need a bit more than a week to write a chapter now. If this saddens you, thing about it this way: The longer I need to complete the MI saga, the longer you can look forward for the next enstalment.
Most of the time when I check your stories, it's when i'm about to nod off I now feel ashamed of all the things I missed Anyways MI3??? Jesus.. Why not combine 2 into 3
Also came by the see about the delay in chapters NEVERMIND Take your time, I understand that twork is hard and leaves you locked up and battered and bruised Well goodmorning and goodday .
Im not sure i follow your thought process on the combining 2 to make 3 part. Anyway, thanks for your understanding. I really try to keep a stable pace, but this current chapter is difficult to write with only the short time i have to get into the flow.
“Think logically, Twilight. Would there have been any way to turn things out for the better? Would there have been any way to prevent everything from happening?” Crystal asked back.
Looks like my predictions on what was going to happen on this chapter were correct. There would be a cult in the hospital, attempting to finish AJ. Although, I didn't foresee Twilight going to impale that *censored*...
I don't feel comfortable doing this every time, but I'm just doing this to help ya. Knowing that your pre-readers are not bothering anymore... :
I think you mean, “which felt like an eternity” Or is it a different way of saying it?
I think “on” is missing before “the ground”. The sentence doesn’t sound complete without it.
It sounds like Twilight is going to be in charge of this Rebellion in MI3. I presume it will all end in tears, due to the individuals will not being strong enough to withstand the curse.
I know the story is tagged as Tragedy (sad ending regardless), but will there be some happiness at the end of the series?
Good chapter by the way.
3144919
Just for everyone to know, this is just an assumption.
Right now, no one knows anything about what will happen in MI3.
Anyway, why don't you feel comfortable with finding errors? Also,if you dont want to do it, you dont have to.
For a felt eternity can be a different way of saying it. Its adapted to fit in that place of the sentence without sounding strange or bad.
the other one may or may not be wrong. I think its debateable.
Well tragedy does not solely focus on the end. What happened to AJ througout the entire story is a tragedy in itself, which just reached its climax.
I honestly cant spoil the final conclusion to the series. All that I can say is that it is the ending which makes the most sense.
3145388
(EDITED: Missing words and spelling errors)
I don't mind pointing out the (possible) errors. I just don't want to be a Trixie showing off here. I mean, even though my writing skills had improved over the year, I don't think I'll match your skills anytime soon. I haven't attempted to write in 3rd person yet though. Well I have done a 1st person narrator kind of view. But it's just an alternative ending for me and my co-authors story.
Now I can't wait for the next chapter.
I'm still surprised that Twilight has changed her ways. On the Dual ending, even though she was doomed and lost her friends, she still wouldn't harm anypony. Well, she was at a check mate situation though...
I'll be looking forward to your next chapter by the way. Good luck, Nero.
3145559
You are always looking forward to the next chapter
Anyway, in the duel, twilight DID change her mind and end fluttershy's suffering after she woke up as an undead. But at that point, she already was no longer a pony.
This situation is fundamentaly different. She just lost her innocence as in never having harmed another creature. She made herself a murderer for a greater good, not because she wanted to spare a friend who was already lost.
Wow, that was a decision I was not expecting Twilight to make!
At least Applejack is safe for now.
Twilight Sparkle levelled up!
Twilight Sparkle is now at the level that she can take on the Cultists! Sooner or later she'd be slaying demons along side the reapers.
New Abilities:
- Demonic Determination: Twilight will stop at nothing to rid the world of Demons and Cultists, Twilight is now able to kill freely.
- Solid Stance Lvl 3: Twilight is now even less affected by Maledictum Insania
- Arcane Armoury Lvl 2: Twilight can now summon sharper magical swords that have greater damage and speed.
- Prevailing Perception Lvl 3: It is now rather easy for Twilight to recognise a Cultist when she sees one.
----------
Who else would like to see an MI game?
3160921
Actually, that would be an interesting idea.
But i personally would prefer to see a series of animation movies, telling the storyline.
3160921
3160982
The thought actually came to me a while back... But it wouldn't be recommended because: Hasbro are putting fans that make none-profit stuff, are being force to destroy their projects. Fighting is Magic for example by mane6.
By the way, are you planning to evolve Twi into Twi Alicorn some point?
3185751
No. I already went an entirely different route compared to the original show. Trying to blend back to be as close to the show as possible again would only end up making it look fake and unreal.
Twilight will stay a unicorn with enormous power until the very end, but I am having a few very good ideas of how to use Twilicorn for Cupcake Factory.
3185767
I'll be happy to give the story go, when it is published here.
Hope it won't be too Pinkamena-style though. But I don't think I have to worry, all your work so far is brilliant... even though it has been mostly sad.
3185814
Sadness can be great if you portion it right. Overdoing it like my little dashie only wrecks you. I mix all kinds of emotions. Anger, happyness, sadness, fear... but the one i enjoy the most is very unconventional to think of as an emotion: insanity.
Anyway, the content of Cupcake Factory is completely based on demand. I will write waht you guys want to read.
I like to focus a lot on the emotions of the characters. But may weakness is just finding the right use of words, to describe the scenario without repeating them. Well, I think I'm getting better though. Thesauruses are very helpful, but I got to be careful.
I know I keep saying this...: looking forward to the next chapter.
3185909
Now that I'm done with my training and started working, real life has me in its grip a lot. I hardly find the time and inspiration to write, but that wont stop me. All this means is that I will need a bit more than a week to write a chapter now.
If this saddens you, thing about it this way: The longer I need to complete the MI saga, the longer you can look forward for the next enstalment.
3185925
Don't worry, I can wait. Good luck with things.
3185965
Thank you very much.
Most of the time when I check your stories, it's when i'm about to nod off
I now feel ashamed of all the things I missed
Anyways
MI3???
Jesus..
Why not combine 2 into 3
Also came by the see about the delay in chapters
NEVERMIND Take your time, I understand that twork is hard and leaves you locked up and battered and bruised
Well goodmorning and goodday
.
3208493
Im not sure i follow your thought process on the combining 2 to make 3 part.
Anyway, thanks for your understanding.
I really try to keep a stable pace, but this current chapter is difficult to write with only the short time i have to get into the flow.
I can think of one