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  • 7w, 4d
    Looking for a Second Editor (Repost)

    (Ignore This If You've Already Read It)

    Because of the current standing on the number of chapters that need a massive face lift, I'm looking for a second editor for Sweetie's Mansion, to serve as a second pair of eyes for the upcoming chapters. Just so two things can be getting done at once (the editing of previous chapters as well as the production of more frequent and higher quality content).

    It's just good to have some second set of eyes to make sure I don't miss silly things like... well, like most of the things I miss in the chapters I've written. You know what they are.

    First come, first serve (like this is something everyone's going to jump on and be excited to be the editor for my shitty story), so chances are, I'll pick the first person who's able to have the best time commitment... more specifically, someone who is able to edit between a specific period of times.

    Preferably between 3:00 & 4:00 PM PST, but hey. Beggars can't be choosers.


    Of course, if no one's able, I'll just mosey my sorry ass over to the abundance of editing groups on the site, and humbly request someone who's able to. Or just command them with my most condescending tone, and threaten to evoke the wrath of the shooter if they don't devote their lives and very existence to my piece of My Little Pony fanfiction (place laughter or terrified quivers here).

    But either way, I just thought it would only be fair to give you all the chance if you're interested. Of course, if you do, you'll also hear about a little "surprise" I may or may not put together for a Halloween update... or just an "October" update, depending on what I get done by/before Halloween.

    6 comments · 83 views
  • 7w, 6d
    Looking for a Second Editor

    Because of the current standing on the number of chapters that need a massive face lift, I'm looking for a second editor for Sweetie's Mansion, to serve as a second pair of eyes for the upcoming chapters. Just so two things can be getting done at once (the editing of previous chapters as well as the production of more frequent and higher quality content).

    It's just good to have some second set of eyes to make sure I don't miss silly things like... well, like most of the things I miss in the chapters I've written. You know what they are.

    First come, first serve (like this is something everyone's going to jump on and be excited to be the editor for my shitty story), so chances are, I'll pick the first person who's able to have the best time commitment... more specifically, someone who is able to edit between a specific period of times.

    Preferably between 3:00 & 4:00 PM PST, but hey. Beggars can't be choosers.


    Of course, if no one's able, I'll just mosey my sorry ass over to the abundance of editing groups on the site, and humbly request someone who's able to. Or just command them with my most condescending tone, and threaten to evoke the wrath of the shooter if they don't devote their lives and very existence to my piece of My Little Pony fanfiction (place laughter or terrified quivers here).

    But either way, I just thought it would only be fair to give you all the chance if you're interested. Of course, if you do, you'll also hear about a little "surprise" I may or may not put together for a Halloween update... or just an "October" update, depending on what I get done by/before Halloween.

    8 comments · 55 views
  • 9w, 3d
    Okay Guys, Seriously This Time I Swear

    Two announcements. One you'll probably care about more than the other for those who still check these.

    First off, in regards to a contest for the website, "Chilling Tales For Dark Nights" approximately two months ago, I bring good news! For those who care anyway, but I won! My shitty little story won! And after waiting for another month, I got a reading of the very story that I entered.

    For those interested, give it a look see:


    Also it's British. BRITISH GUYS. BRITISH.

    And for the love of everything good, support the site. If you love horror, please check it out. You won't regret it, I swear.

    Read Along with Peter Bishop for my story, "Exchange": http://www.chillingtalesfordarknights.com/2014/09/17/exchange-by-n-r-knight-narrated-by-peter-bishop/

    Check out Chilling Tales For Dark Nights. Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway?: http://www.chillingtalesfordarknights.com/

    As for the other thing I do... Sweetie's Mansion, Chapter 23 is complete and will be coming out this weekend. No exceptions. I'm working on it myself as well as with my incredibly busy and patient editor, Mac349. But it is complete, and one way or the other, it will be out this weekend. And I promise you, for as dead as I've been, it's length will not disappoint.  

    16 comments · 312 views
  • 36w, 4d
    Foop It

    I'm going to be short, sweet and concise as I can.

    By a show of hands, who's up for some editing?

    ALSO NO NSFW POSTS WHAT IS THIS MADNESS.

    17 comments · 658 views
  • 56w, 6d
    I'm going to be frank with you.

         Sheesh it sure has been a long time since I wrote one of these things. And the last few times I wrote one of these I was talking about all these crazy plans and how horrible I am for making promises that I don't keep, etc. etc. so on and so forth. Look, I'm going to be frank with you about a few things that are going on story related and with me as well. Not sure how much of you care to know, but hey. I'm doing stuff without your consent with the choice chapters (which I will address, bare with me) so why stop now.

         First off, it goes without saying that I have been out of the FIMfiction community for a hell of a long time. Heck, aside from some "artwork" that was pony related, as well as being involved with another community which I won't discuss here (but you're welcome to find out, it's not that hard to find it now adays), I'd become very detached from this site. That means I haven't been involved in the Art for Fanfiction group, none of my other stories, and yes, this includes Sweetie's Mansion. In fact, the only thing I remembered vividly about the story was how close I'd come to finishing it, and how many folk told me how shitty the grammar, vocabulary, and over-all organization was. So when I finally came back, with all of my new plans and such for the story, I came with one idea. To finish it. To get to the end and even write some kind of follow up. That was my goal.

         Hence the REBOOTs to "raise the story from the dead" to make it better, faster, and stronger than it was before (even if some reboots are still riddled with errors I've yet to catch on my own). And oh my goodness was it bad when I looked at it (I honestly don't see what the appeal to this story was besides something to chuckle at how horribly written it was). Enough shit talking myself though, that was the point of the REBOOTs, and I'm getting sick of being asked if I'm rewriting the story. Technically yes, but also no. I'm going through to make it at least somewhat respectable not only for my eyes, but the public eye as well. Like... and I know it'll never reach this level, but as notorious as a story like Fallout Equestria, or my all time favorite Past Sins. Something to at least stand a percentage of a chance against authors like PenStrokePony and whoeverthefuckwrotefo:e.

         I don't know. Just talking aloud about a dream to ascend to the writers that managed to achieve that notoriety.

        This is turning more into a journal than an update. Just me venting crap. Anyway moving on.

         As for the Choice chapters, I KNOW. Alright? I know. I know you hate them. I know you want me to get rid of them. I know they're shittily done and I know they're not worth having or even really thinking about at this point in the development of the story. Though I also want you to know why I'm continuing to do them. They're more or less for me than anyone else at this point. To be brutally honest, it's a way I wanted to add to my story. True I wanted to add something similar to them from the very beginning to make a more game-like story, but honestly it's something for my own self gratification. Just a stupid way to see my story grow. My reasons are valid for expanding the plot and adding to the fact Sweetie's not invincible and can in fact lose, and that her survival is mostly determined by her decisions... but I'd be lying if there wasn't a little bit of me in there. I wanted it for my own self gratification and to alleviate my own boredom of solely editing and adding to something that already exists.

         And to that I'd like to apologize for breaking the story for you in that sense. I thought somehow between the [Continue]s and the green Os that both persons who hated the choices and persons who found some value in them could enjoy the story, but unfortunately that's not possible and I apologize. I also apologize for the fact that I'm not going to necessarily stop the choice chapters until chapter 10. Only because of the boredom. At least by then I'll have gained enough momentum to push past my own boredom and self gratification to push through to finally add new chapters to truly advance the story. And most importantly and most shamefully, I'd like to apologize for the fact that there most likely won't be a Halloween update to Sweetie's Mansion, since the main focus will be the REBOOTs by then. Editing the story is a priority above even the new chapters... at least in my book. I really am sorry for all of this.

         I honestly don't know what I'll do let alone what I can do to make it up to you guys, because whether you've been laughing at the story, or you've been thoroughly enjoying it, you've been great fans. Every single one of you. Hopefully something will come up that you all can find some enjoyment in.

         In any case, I'll try and update more often with the status on REBOOTS and other Sweetie's Mansion related stuff. Ask any questions you have in the comments and I'll either message you or respond back.

    15 comments · 439 views
  • ...
 1,426
 12,243

(Credit to Primogenitor34 for Cover-Art)

(Credit to smellyfeetyouhave and Thunder Blaze for the old cover-art)    

(Now 20% CYOA... okay maybe a little more than that. Please use the [Continue] option to go from Chapter to Chapter. If you just want the straight up story, go green)

"It's going to be a long night..."

     When a mansion appears out of nowhere in the outskirts of town, The Mane 6, are all invited to a housewarming by Specter Yield, the owner of the strange mansion. Hours after they leave to attend the party, the Cutie Mark Crusaders find themselves in this mansion. Eventually, Sweetie Belle finds herself alone in this massive mansion, trying to save her friends, and discovering the truth behind this haunted mansion. Will she be able to rescue her friends... and possibly all of Equestria from the ghostly presence?

First Published
19th Jan 2012
Last Modified
11th Oct 2014

WOW THIS IS BETTER THAN MY STORY!! KEEP IT UP! :twilightsmile:

Awesome start! please continue!

Reminds me of that old GameCube game Luigi's Mansion, with a CMC twist of course. Keep going!

>>142784 Note the crossover tab.

Anyway, I'll read this when I get the chance.

Ooh, creepy yet fun, can't wait for more.

-WW

Very good start but please sort out your tenses. There are a lot of verbs that you ended with an 'S' rather than a 'D', e.g. "continues" instead of "continued.

>>146357 What? :facehoof: I didn't notice that. Thanks, I'll fix that as soon as I can! :pinkiehappy:

i have to say this is a great chapter, i hope that more will come soon.

-WW

>>150520 Writing the chapter now. Hey, maybe if it's all good, I'll crank it out today!

Will the mane 6, Applebloom, and Scootaloo be functioning as the boss ghosts in the game? P.S. great chapter

>>150893 Trust me, I've got something special planned for each of them.

Yay Moar updates! The snarky book is a nice touch. Now if you will excuse me I have to go find my old copy of Luigi's Mansion.

"Smirk" now ya cooking, this here has the makeings of a fine story.

:rainbowdetermined2:

-WW

You seem to have some trouble with using the right forms of words, as well as some grammar. But aside from technical issues, it's absolutely awesome.

You need to stop drifting between live action and past tense. Y u no pick one?

>>152829 This is a bad habit I'm trying to break, but thanks for letting be know. I plan to edit that out later.

>>152768 I'll keep that in mind when I edit it out a bit later tonight.

I can only imagine the fight with Fluttershy's portait ghost!

Flutterghost: "I WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!!!" ':flutterrage:';...umm, if that's okay, that is. ':fluttershysad:'

Darn cliffhangers! :twilightangry2:

Another excellent chapter.

Aww man, this story is fantastic!!  When Sweetie couldn't move and Fluttershy was getting closer I knew it was 'the stare' that got her :flutterrage:!!! Also, good way to incorporate a health system with the heart candy!!  Aww man, this stuff's brilliant!!  Keep this going!! :pinkiehappy:

Very good detail, nice story line, i like it, more please

-WW

A couple spelling and grammar mistakes, but then you get punched right in the nuts by story, and you forget all about it. MOAR.

This is awesome.

But AJ messed up 'yeah you did' to an 'i did'. Just thought you hould know.

"Sure people have been turned into ghosts, but you saw Applebloom. People can die here"

This is incredibly jarring, should be ponies.

aww hell no appleblooms possed and pinkie pie is super ghost poor sweetie D: :unsuresweetie:

>>161277 I suppose I was trying to capture her accent, but maybe over did it a little. I'll check that out.

I sense that someone is going to help her (luigi? proffesor E.Ghadd?)

Man, another cliff hanger, darn you, i'll be thinking about it all day long now. what ever you do, don't stop i LOVE this story.

-WW

>>161277 I could be mistaken when I read your comment, but I think I meant to do that. It's supposed to be Sweetie tricking AJ's ghost. None the less, I'll check it out again.

This is better than the video game

that was funny she just got bugs bunnied

Cliffhangers! :twilightangry2:

I like how the story has kind of changed focus to more survival in this chapter.

I like it i like it, i can't wait for more.

Oh and i found some videos on youtube with the orignal music and sound track, i just felt like pepole would like to listin to it while rading you story, so here they are. so now we can all get a fell for the creepy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjdgxK44ctQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wYi8B9PXDY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=50uUuVyq5m4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1-jRlwbQ40

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7W7F5DJzs4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr4FdprPhCo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKlvQzI8dls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgE8dWwcLF8

If i missed something importent tell me.

-WW

jesus christ who's scarier pinkie pie or applebloom

Perfect. Just fucking perfect. I just went out and bought a copy of Luigi's mansion because Of you. Happy?

Man this should be made into a game.. it would have alot of cinematic cutscenes and there's acually a part where you lose all your stuff this is just awesome! :rainbowkiss:

I would spend all of my money if a game was made of this

Great job as always, i belive that the more you write the more i'll read.

oh, also even thou this story is a long way from done, by the looks of it, you should always plan out your next story, take me for example i've did'nt and now i'm haveing trouble comeing up ideas (who knew a "pirates of the caribbean" and "my little pony" crossover would be so Tricky to write) this is just some friendly advice. Good luck Mate.

-WW

"Not evil?" Next, you'll be telling me Sheogorath isn't crazy!

Now, if they made a game of this, it would be awesome. Then again, considering the source material, it is anyway!

>>166933 Yes, I still have a long way to go from the end. I like your advice. If your talking about individual chapters, I do actually create some type of outline before I begin writing a chapter to refer to as I write. If your talking about other fanfics all together, I do actually have several crossover's I'm really excited about, and have started to mentally plan (though nothing's on paper yet). In any case, thank you for the advice. Any advice I can get is always helpful.

'The ball she was now gripping in her hands'

Hands?...

>>167504

Here some questions I want to ask about your story.

Q1. How many bosses going to be in your story?

Q2. Are we going to see ghosts similar to Malody Pianissima, Nana, Clockwork Soldiers, Sue Pea, Jarvis, and Vincent Van Gore from Luigi’s Mansion?

Q3. Is Discord going to play a role in your story?

Q4. Is your story going to have musical parts like in the Nightmare before Christmas?

Q5. Are we going ghost version of these characters? I would like see that:

Vinyl Scratch

Octavia

Derpy hooves

Big Mac

Braeburn

Granny Smith

The Wonderbolts

Lyra Heartstrings

Zecora

Trixie

Doctor Hooves the clockmaker version

Prince Blueblood

The royal guards

Cheeilee

The Spa Ponies

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