Rainbow Dash had exactly what she wanted, and all it took was one freak accident to take it away. In an instant, her life was changed and she lost everything she had worked for.
Now a half year has passed. Life is simply something that she goes through now, instead of something that she eagerly looks forward to each day. And her friend, Applejack, has been bothering her about some sort of surprise for a while now.
Rainbow Dash hates surprises.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Two minor things that bugged me:
What Rainbow doesn't realize is that Twilight isn't cringing here because of the phrase "creepy mad scientist basement". She's cringing because of Rainbow Dash using "you're" instead of "your"...
Here, "use" should be "used". You're fine on using "use" instead of "used" again later on, because Rainbow Dash says it, but Twilight is more careful with her grammar.
I enjoyed the fanfic otherwise, though.
god damn that was good
Very good short story. starts out sad and turns heartwarming.
It's a great story that screws with you I like it
beautiful
Glad you guys seem to be enjoying this little story.
Good story, have a pony
These are the fells I had when Reading this:
Keep up the awesome work!
Dude. You have a gem here that no one is reading. Get some self promotion going. Send it to EQD or something. More people need to read this!
3197380
Well I think at the time I posted this one I still only had like a few followers, and it doesn't have a cover image which I know is often what catches attention, so I'm sure it just slipped by mostly unnoticed.
I also don't wanna be that guy that goes around spamming my story everywhere going 'read my stuff
'. I figure if a story is good enough, word will spread. I usually add my story to the writer's group, any other groups are added by the readers, which tells me they think it's good enough to share.
I've thought about eventually trying to submit to EQD, but I know they're sticklers on quality, much more than FimFic is anyway. I'd imagine not having a decent cover image would be a strike against this one, and I'm not going to just go out and jack one off the internet without permission. Still, I may eventually revisit this one and spruce it up so I could submit it.
3200067 Fair enough but at least do something. This story deserves to be seen and at the moment, its almost impossible to find, unless you already know about it.
How dose this story still only have 25 likes?
Zeg. Dude. Seriously.
This story is amazing! Heck you made the parasite say its good. That alone makes it stand out!
Come back to this, do a little bit of fixing up and then submit it to somewhere.
This story deserves to be seen by more people. Do yourself a favor and get this out there!
4242148
The copy that is up here already is a version 2 of the story with a lot of editing and some changes. I already submitted it to EQD and they turned it down with a fairly lengthy list of issues. I went through and fixed what I could of that then had someone who had done prereading for quite a few stories that made it on EQD preread this one before trying to submit it again, but he found quite a few issues with the story that he thought would keep it from being accepted even after I'd thought I'd fixed everything. At that point I just put it aside, as it was turning into a very frustrating feeling that my attempts weren't ever going to be good enough to hunt down and fix all the 'problems', and that's not what I want to spend all my time on when I write anyway. I just want to tell a story.
I'm thinking that submitting to EQD just isn't my thing, and beyond that I don't know how to get more 'attention' other than spamming to groups, which I really don't want to start doing.
So, Iduno...
i.imgur.com/HnvCdnW.jpg
Maybe I'll give this one a complete redo some day to make it more relevant to the current MLP cannon and breath new life into it, but I'm not going to stress out over it.
4245200 *sigh* fair enough. Just know that this is one of my favorites and i think it deserves way more views than what its getting.
4245200 keep trying! If you make it to EQD you can be part of the select authors who can say "I've made it on EQD so I have more authority"
Very nicely done.
You can has review!