Mr Foster
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I haven't read it yet, but here's a simple forumla for everyone:
...
ERMAHGERD I CAN'T WAYT TU REED ET!
Goddamn you, FC3 and Storm!
You've ruined me and this fic! Whenever I read from Hernando, it sounds like Vaas!
Well that was an interesting start.
By the way there is a group for anthro pony stories. http://www.fimfiction.net/group/1878/anthropomorphics
Very intersting beginning. I'm guessin he'll have memory loss now and also I can't wait for a good descriptive of what the anthro ponies look like in this world.
zipmeme.com/uploads/generated/g1325733801329294146.jpg
Well, it seems like his situation is pretty FUBAR. Ans it is just going to get worst. Looking forward to that.
By the way, what exactly do the ponies in this story look like? Do they look something like this, or this, or this? If not can you give a picture that is close?
This is the second story that I read had Fluttershy failing to get the timberwolves to her side and some guy beating them up. As far as I can see in the story looks like the main bad guy is coming here alot sooner than normally, which is actually a good twist.
meme.aurielle.cz/faces/calm-your-tits.jpg
oh my god everything's happening so fast, pacing bro, pacing
1896700 Probably like this one fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/363/3/2/my_rare_hesperax_by_hattonslayden-d35k7or.jpg except they are a bit smaller, and have feet. Pretty much human body, pony face, cutie marks, fur, and other stuff that ponies have (Wings, horn,)
Also, on the note that he's fubar, Jack ain't the perfect soldier. I don't like the fact that many people are superhumans in fics, so I decided to go for a more realistic tone. Not too overpowered, but just right.
1898083 I know, I know. I need to work on such things.
And to the rest of you, thanks for your support! I had no idea I would get this many likes and favs
1899758
Okay then though we can't really tell her hight from that picture. Anyway so they have human like feet huh. Alright then. I find it more interesting when anthros are digitgrade instaed of plantigrade, but that is a small thing. Thank you for letting me know.
...I never said that he was FUBAR. Just that his situation is. I like the character as he is.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
wut?
Wait, Applejack has a flamethrower? AHHHHHHYEAHHHHH!!!!!
Alright, If you want my opinion, your going WAY to fast! Third chapter and you've ALREADY made poor shy fall in love with this guy. She may not know it, but WE all do! Also, get a proof reader! If you already have one, get a better one. Grammar errors are minimum, but the story at times feels awkward to read, and really sped up. Also, when writing a paragraph, instead of always putting 'Jack' at the beginning of each sentence, try using this amazing called a third person, singular personal pronoun, more commenly known as 'He/she/it" or a small descriptive value, such as, 'The man, the aging soldier, the blade wielding maniac...'
Example:
Your paragraph-
“RUN! GO HOME!” Shouted Jack at the girls, and they ran off, the dogs more focused on tearing out Jack’s throat. The dogs came upon Jack, their black claws poised to strike. Jack rolled out of the way, slashing one’s stomach. Jack stood up, turning to face the remaining 2 dogs. They jumped at him, and Jack threw his knife into one, leaving him unarmed. The remaining dog circled him, then lunged, his claws about to break Jack’s skin. Jack grabbed the dog by the throat, and slammed him into the ground, knocking the wind out of Jack’s assailant. Jack then looked around for a weapon, spotting what looked like a machete embedded inside a rock.
My paragraph(Not perfect, but better)-
“RUN! GO HOME!” Shouted Jack at the girls, and they ran off, the dogs more focused on tearing out the throat of the strange creature. The dogs came upon him, their black claws poised to strike. He rolled out of the way, slashing one’s stomach. Jack stood up, turning to face the remaining 2 dogs. They jumped at him, and he threw his knife into one, leaving him unarmed. The remaining dog circled him, then lunged, his claws about to break the defenders skin. The aging soldier grabbed the dog by the throat, and slammed him into the ground, knocking the wind out of the assailant, before looking around for a weapon, and spotting what looked like a machete embedded inside a rock.
So there you have it, short, brutal and truthful. Hope this helps you!
-MyDigitalHazard
verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/demotivational-posters-flamethrowers.jpg
1919759 Thanks much for your help
I'm pretty new to 3rd person (1st person is my strong suite) so I still need to work on it a bit. Your criticism is greatly appriciated, and will definitely be taken into account. Thanks
Nice chapter, a little bit quick on the shipping thing, but then again they're both trying to dismiss thoughts of attractiveness to each other like part of their brain is saying, "That Fluttershy girl is pretty hot, don't you think?" and for Fluttershy, "He sure is handsome isn't he?" Anyway nice job with the chapter it was pretty action and calm at the same time, will there be more downtime or will there be more action stuff that they have to go through.
It would be nice if you slowed down and if you go through the story remember about plotholes cause some scenes need to be remembered like the diamond dog confrontation and the tattoo on how they link.
And also remember to be descriptive, but not too much! We don't want a paragraph on how green this hill is.
Angel is pretty perverted and Fluttershy must have at least D-cup, maybe Double D.
Holy moly, shit's about to go down!
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lp7yv7Tit51qc6kat.jpg
1958975 I'm pretty sure that's the best comment I've had on all my stories.
Everypony, we can go home now. He just won the internet.
That's how you do it mate!
I just can't wait for trixie to screw up magnificently.
And yes the fan is gonna get covered in feces soon.
1961644
api.ning.com/files/sCuWmzjOGSeXQSCZ0aWXNbPlsPMwco58Jb8jtRCu1zeLzAWDPvzfbxpbNDV*Hrz1tWf5u2XZJrIkaXeLOsfCqxYtfbEBSjje/AwwYeahMemeRageFaceOnaTRex.jpg
Thank you, I gladly accept this internet and hope to continue to bring lulz wherever I may go in this and any other fic.
Some misspellings .
Interrigation should be Interrogation (located in the sixth paragraph).
Unfased should be Unfazed (located in the ninth paragraph).
The sentence: and he did not have they perky ears that most ponies had
you must have meant: and he did not have the perky ears that most ponies had
So far so good. I will read the other chapters and if anything is out of place I will post it to let you know.
Crap, I was hoping I'd avoid a Hentai monster
. Nevertheless, disgusting chapter with a very dramatic cliffhanger. I'll await further updates. 
2139543 Sorry 'bout the Hentai monster, mate. Growing up in Japan showed me some nasty shit.
But thanks for the input! Glad you like the story
2139630 Well it's just not often when I find anthro fics that catch my attention. It's a shame not many people in the community can accept anthro ponies like us.
Wow, that was something and I wasn't expecting a hentai monster in a world full of ponies, even though they do have true monsters. How does Zecora even get stuff from something like that. I also wonder if Twilight managed to knock them both out instead of Jack. I'm so worried about Rarity now.
He's bleeding from the arm, and does nothing to staunch it? R.I.P. Jack. Must've not been to the class on field dressing and battlefield first aid.
2199721 The Idea was that he couldn't; Under heavy fire and always having to watch his back, there isn't really an easy way to dress his wounds.
Besides, according to video game and movie logic, heavy drinking, mid-twenty badasses don't need to dress their wounds!
the door walked in? AHHHHH! talking ponies and walking doors!!! RUN!!!
2230573 Oh goodness, thanks for catching that for me
I'll update it as soon as I get off my smartphone. So in the next few hours or so :P
eh no problem. my constructive criticism usually comes in the form of jokes.
WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ.....!?!?
i like the new farcry 2 picture
because i remeber that he has the "magical" tattoos
2264511 Same guy, same game. Just different time periods.
Thanks for the input!
-Storm
A wise man once told me "Shut up, kid."
Anywho, meh. You tried and rushed and failed that last chapter, but at least you're fixing it.
Also, I do like the new cover art.
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/the-most-interesting-monster-in-the-world-horrifyingly-violent-manner.jpg
2268183 How often do you win the internet, my friend? You have to be winning like 2-3 times a day.
2268259
dailyfun.us/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world.jpg
It seems that you are under the impression that I do not already own the internet and I am just allowing you all to play on it.
New is good! Maybe you should try some close time with Fluttershy so (I forgot his name) they can maybe start a thing. Fluttershy is best pony. I kind of expected her to have her usual anthro giant breasts though so that was kind of a downer.
Twilight is really stupid in this story
2692513 Reason behind that, my friend.
Think of it this way: Portal shows up in Equestria in the middle of the sky, causes havoc. Now something like that can't be natural. It has to have some type of magic to it. Now who could possibly gain from the destruction of Equestria? And one with such powers could also probably do other things that could create some un-wanted occurrences.
I'm not going to throw it right out there, but there'll be a bunch of hints here and there.
2692513 Yeah these guys are fucking saints to still want to help her and the ponies. I would have either tortured, killed, or made them feel bad and not helped by now.
2692513
Can't help but sadly agree with you there pal. I'm just glad everyone was calling her out on acting like this.
2692554
So this story doesn't really count especially with this mistake you made?
They're looking at Ben right?
2693292 I meant the last chapter I had posted, which was a thousand times worse than this one. That one is completely non-canon, so ignore it. This chapter is actually part of the storyline. Even though I made a bunch of mistakes.
Damn the bastard ponies want to study a race that is so experienced with war and violence, not to mention Jack and Ben are trained (at least Jack is)
also the ponies treat Jack like an animal and now Twilight wants his help by this time i would have tried my luck on killing celestia after saving spike, and Rarity
2693210 no he is a saint for not helping Bear commit Hitler style genocide on the ponies
Woah talk about a close one, I'm glad Bear's dead, but what happened to Rarity. From the way this chapter started it seemed like they saved her already and the two made a huge nuisance to Bear, although I thought Fluttershy was going to wrestle him considering his name and everything.