English expat and web designer Robert Ellis is not a particularly devoted brony, though he's read a lot of the fanfiction, and he really dislikes "My Little Dashie" and the "doorstep filly" sub-genre it spawned. Whoever decided to abduct Diamond Tiara as she slept and deposit her in a box on Bob's doorstep must have a taste for dramatic irony.
But Bob isn't interested in playing by the rules of the genre. Not when he's got his big sister, her two kids and his pal Trevor the UFO-hunting policeman to call on for backup.
While the local police and an intelligence agency he was not previously aware the Canadians had grapple with the question of who sent her here and why, Bob and his cohorts deal with the more immediate problem of looking after an earth pony with an attitude problem, and Diamond Tiara gets a crash course in the fine art of not being a spoiled brat.
There's going to be a lengthy process of adjustment for all of them, but it could be worse. And maybe they'll both end up being better and happier people for it.
(Rated T for occasional strong language.)
This has got me really intrigued sir. Taking care of Diamond Tiara, of all ponies. I pity poor Robert, but at least he has some allies.
Having Diamond Tiara dropped on my doorstep out of the blue? Such an scenario reminds me of a quote from the short story "Christmas without Rodney" by Issac Asimov. I think it goes: "if I could ever have some alone time with my grandson, and a rod, I'm sure that I would be able to teach him about respect and good manners, but it seems that my daughter-in-law likes the little demon far too much to ever allow that to happen." While I wouldn't have done much differently so far than your character Robert, I would likely get a migraine just from knowing that the spoiled princess has landed under my roof.
I certainly hope you continue the story.
I can certainly agree with your observations in regard to the "My Little Dashie" scenario being pretty messed up, but I can also find a few justifications right off my head:
1) I remember a conversation with a recently retired Brit social worker I had a few years ago, regarding the Harry Potter scenario. If you haven't read the first two chapters of the first book of Harry Potter, the scenario is basically that of a family who gets the surviving baby son of some stranged relatives, reluctantly take him in and raise him as a domestic slave. This guy basically told me that, as long as there hadn't been police or truancy reports, the case would have gone right under the radar. Sometimes friends and neighbours know, but either don't care, fear repercussions if they speak up, or think that the child is better off than they would be in an orphanage. Any real-life Harry or Harriet would have then either remained as their family's domestic slave forevermore, or would have been kicked out as soon as they outgrew their 'child' legal status. On the other hand, with My Lil Dashie we have a different situation, much more reminiscent of raising an obviously foreign kid in Nazi Germany. History shows us that those cases were indeed agoraphobic and extremely socially awkward after being released into the open, but still in much better condition than any of those who were discovered by the Nazi and sent to the death camps. Both scenarios are pretty messed up, but the Dash scenario at least has the child growing up in a loving home even if the social environment was dangerously hostile.
2) The guy tried to go into deeper isolation the further the story went. He was doing so for Dash's benefit, so she could stretch her wings without the risk of discovery. However you look at it, he was trying to be the best father that he could be for her.
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You're probably right; I actually started working on this story before I got around to reading MLD, and in hindsight I may have given the protagonist too little credit. Though that said, in the next chapter we'll be addressing a central conceit of most doorstep filly stories, namely the need to keep her concealed lest a sinister government agency send black vans full of men in black suits to take her away to have unpleasant experiments performed on her. See the last quote in this SpaceBattles post for some idea of why it's actually a pretty stupid plot device.
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Personally, I don't even worry that Dashie would have been a subject of TTD (Test To Destruction), simply because it's unscientific to destroy your only sample. She could have been in risk of having been remanded to perpetual observation, but even that would have likely been very benign: her caretakers would have noticed her incredibly fast cognitive growth, the vets would eventually call child psychologists and she would have been raised like a child.
On the other hand, I bet that even if the Dad had become harassed by the government, he could have found legal means of keeping Dashie (like simply declaring her to be his property and refusing to part with his property), but he would then have to keep his guard up against all sorts of people who would want a piece of Dashie:
* Religious fanatics who would want to destroy 'such an obvious abomination against His word'.
* Kidnappers who would likely lobotomize Dashie, then smuggle her to Brazil and try to breed her and/or put her in some millionaire's private petting zoo.
* Hunters and occidental poachers, who would want the world's only real-life Pegassus as a taxidermized trophy.
* Oriental poachers, who would chop her up, smuggle her out to Hong Kong and make a few millions in Chinese medicine.
* The general public, who would get into endless debates, would never approve of anything he does, and would love to spoil Dashie into a vapid, artificial celebrity like Paris Hilton.
Diamond Tiara would of course be a lot less peculiar (having no wings or horn makes her into nothing but a curiosity, rather than a mythological creature) and thus be a lot safer among humans, but her caretakers would have the additional concern of the possible interdimensional kidnapper. I'm intrigued about what are you going to do anyway.
Oh sh*t! That description is hilarious entirely by itself!
I expect a good read....later...when I wake up
This story has been reviewed by: The Equestrian Critics Society
Story Title: Our Little Diamond
Author: JakeGrey
Reviewed By: TOOS0BER
Many can love Our Little Diamond. The potential and premise of another familiar filly being thrown into the arms of a human can be quite an adventure that is definitely worth a read. Since it’s only just getting started, it’s simply too early to judge on the plot, and we’ll just have to wait and see what JakeGrey has in store for his protagonist and the little brat filly. Although, if he wants to keep an audience and leave any lasting impression, more description and emotional depth is needed; comedy helps, but simply won’t cut it for long.
Score: 7.0/10
Full Review
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Many thanks for a very insightful review. Sorry the first meeting came off as bland; the effect I was going for was total blank incomprehension at just how weird his predicament was, so much so that he's running on a sort of mental Safe Mode, but apparently it didn't quite work. Anyhow, next chapter should be up in a couple of days.
2264292 Ah, I see. I look forward to it.
I have high hopes for your story, and I was torn with writing the review because judging a story from the first chapter is almost as bad as judging a book by its cover...
A mass of vaguely lilac-coloured hair with a white streak appeared over the edge of the box, followed by two sleepy green eyes in a bubblegum-pink face.
Doesn't she have blue eyes?
2445334 In the cartoon, yes. But the Equestria we see on our screens and the Equestria that Diamond Tiara was born in are... quite different. Further details will be revealed as soon as I can unblock myself and finish Chapter 2. (Unless you're a SpaceBattles member, in which case you can find a detailed and mildly spoiler-y explanation in the pony-fic brainstorming thread.)
This was surprisingly entertaining and amusing all around. I like the composed and well taught daddy's girl of how she shouldn't talk to strangers scene. She was so calm and honest with her dismissive and cautious behavior it was rather cute. Trying to figure out her situation and not trying to push her limits in new unfamiliar surroundings while still keeping that higher than thou ego. You did a well rounded fic, she is good around adults I'd imagine which is why even if she has a sharp tongue, and knows what buttons to push that won't cause the pressure gauge in her targets to pop.
Joey and DT. Meh, if I was Joey I think I'd be able to put up with a bit of a small ego if I got to play to with a talking pony. I don't what happens from here. Really looking forward to what happens from here on. Great job!
This has been quite refreshing, do want more!
EDIT: Oh my... this fic has been around for fifteen weeks and 3 days?
Well it was a great chapter. I still hope to see more in the future in any case.
2456323 Don't worry, it's still being worked on. I'm just hung up on a really awkward to write but plot-critical part of Chapter 2.
2456405 Oh, well that is reassuring at least, to know it isn't dead. Thanks for that. And good luck with the scene there!
Hmm, I hate My Little Dashie fics, but Diamond Tiara in a box has promise. Adding to Twilight's Library.
A counterfeit Diamond Tiara brought into the human world? And the humans there believe she's the genuine article at that. I see what you've set up here. It's a more social take on the MLD scenario meant to place more emphasis on realism than romanticism. You have a nice start here. I'll stand by for future installments.
I better send the author of said fanfic some aloe for that burn... (wish I could say I came up with that line myself, but I can't).
Also welcome back.
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Heh. I actually don't hate MLD, even if I think the protagonist made (with the very best of intentions) a number of terrible decisions that did both himself and his adopted daughter a lot of harm. In fact I think it's a pretty rare example of a story whose viewpoint character is deeply flawed but still sympathetic, which is a pretty damn difficult thing to pull off.
Also, as I've already alluded to, Bob is not exactly the picture of perfect mental health either...
Looks like you read the TL191 series. Good for the story, horribly unrealistic as alternate history.
4103236 Years ago, yes. I liked his Worldwar series better though.
4104084 Agreed there.
I had thought this story dead. Geez, looks like this update got buried under my other feeds.
Did you make any revisions to chapter 1? Or is it still pretty much the same story as when it got published? Just curious. Will read after I clear out my load here. Nice to see this active again!
4165595 I've made some minor ones, but I've not yet got around to running them past my extensive team of proofreaders over at Spacebattles as I've been distracted by another project... which was where I found out just how bad I am at dealing with even valid criticisms of my work. (Long story.)
Someone found a filly trying to kick her way out of a mailbox?
Screw the invasion of an alternate dimension and mass abduction of fillies to satisfy some brony's sick desires! I want to know how that mailbox is doing!
But seriously, if this person, if we can assume it's one person doing this, is able and willing to go to another dimension, kidnap fillies without them waking up or having any knowledge of the event, and put them in a box and leave them on the doorstep of some random brony, then imagine what else this guy could do. Only a matter of time before someone finds a full fledged rocket launcher from Torque Industries, or a bottle of possession salts sent straight from Finkton Industries. The potential things that could go wrong are literally millions!
Hey: This fic updated!
Thanks for not having abandoned it!