Celestia always loved her younger sister, but there were some things she had hoped never to tell her. Then one evening Luna asked her something truly dreadful to explain... Where babies come from.
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- Member Since 19th Dec, 2012
- offline last seen Dec 16th, 2023
Abramus5250
Learn to love the writing, of telling a story that you want told, and not the recognition that comes with it. When skill and passion atrophy, write for yourself, and in time, you'll inspire others.
Abramus5250
Joined 19th Dec, 2012 ·
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Slightly silly and amusing; assuming it is meant to continue, based on the 'incomplete' tag, curious to see where it will go.
1866896 Sorry, no, this is a one shot unless brilliance strikes me again. Thank you for pointing that out, though.
Lols were had. That was very awkward for Celestia.
whoaorno.com/images/368.jpg
oh thats a good one .. made me laugh alright
That was... okay. I'm afraid this is a joke that's rather tired in media as a whole, and that your presentation of it, while polished, was somewhat bland and lacked a bit of an "oomph!" I think you could have stretched the awkward further for comedy. Right now, the whole thing feels... downplayed.
I'd say, from my point of view, your writing is technically solid, but that this story lacks passion and life.
Keep trying, though, you have a lot of potential as a writer. Just needs more practice, and don't be afraid to take risks.
It's the Wonderbolts, not the Thunderbolts, by the way.
This was funny. :3
trolluna
Luna is now the troll.
Dawwwwwww
i.imgur.com/qBKCB.png
faved
Trolluna Strikes! Making Tia squrim!
I always love these kind of stories.
there needs to be a trollLuna emoticon just for this story
That first paragraph really needs to be split into two parts. The second paragraph should start at the word there.
It's better this way, both aesthetically and grammatically. You don't want too many sentences in a paragraph, nor do you want a paragraph to take away from the look and professionalism of the story.
3520266 Done.
3520282 Thank you!
That was, until a flapping of wings could be heard. It was not one of the guards, the Thunderbolts were at the academy, and Cadence was in the Crystal Kingdom.
should it not be:
That was, until a flapping of wings could be heard. It was not one of the guards, the wonderbolts were at the academy, and Cadence was in the Crystal Kingdom.
"So, can two mares or two colts get pregnant if they love each other?"
"Good Heavens!, No!"
"OK"
"Fluttershy!:
WORRY NOT; OR SISTERS SPOKETH WE CAN STILL PLAY WITHOUT MORTIFICATIONS!
"
Very funny, most of all the last bit where it was revealed that Luna was pranking her sister.
How would a dragon and a griffin do it?
I reviewed your story tonight you can find it here
5522901 Thank you!
10 out of 10 so funny
Are you sure it's not "When an alicorn and a stallion love each other very much, and spend the evening out under the stars, kissing..."
Heh! And thus, Luna set Celestia up to have a nightmare about Luna going out to experiment with all sorts of stallions, griffons, and even dragons--staring: Guardian of the Night, Keeper of Pony Dreams, Princess Luna!