jackson3525
Joined 15th Jan, 2012 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is the best HIE I read it is WAY better than mine
Perhaps putting more space breaks into your chapters would make it more appealing to read.
Overall really loving this story! Tracking and a 5 rating.
This is very great
he is SOOO lucky
lucky
Luna is best pony.
Did they get it at the 5 and dime
I fucking love you. No homo.
LOL what is gonna happen?
This story has a deadmau5 song in it its now 20% cooler
Wow, you finally posted it to this site. Thanks. I normally hate the Human in Equestria story but this is done so well, that I can help but enjoy this. Jackson doesn't suck, every character is in character with the exception of Celestia?(I'm still not sure what are her intentions: getting jealous I get, but threatening another living thing with execution, I still don't understand). I liked the Grease song scene. My only really problems is some of your song picks and your formatting(everything is smashed together, maybe adding a space between lines of dialogue would help the reader).
As payment for this fic, here's a meme:
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/234/129/c96.jpg
Peace Out
I can't stop laughing.
This story seems disjointed somehow. Like, why after just appearing more or less and knowing nothing is he already broaching the question of romantic feelings. Is he not bothered at all by the fact that she's a completely different species? If not why? Why does Luna feel this way about him, has she been snooping on him for an extended length of time?
It's kind of weird how fast this is happening. Not sure if I'll keep up with this :/
this is really good
this is really good
GIGGIDY!
wait.... Didn't Red tell twi in the hospital?
I envy him oh so much
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
MOLESTIA!!!
I just want you guys to remember this is my first fic. Fututre ones will be better, no doubt.
).
I'm just writing this to pass time and for personal enjoyment.
I'm using notepad to type up the story (Probably NOT a good idea, so the story is more or less a wall of text
>>TheWaffler - Do you mean (for example):
"Reddy and I heard you both in bed lastnight" Vinyl said with a grin and a wink.
"Yeah well Luna and I heard you from Twilight's house.." I replied back, seeing all the blood from Vinyl's face drain.
Should it be:
"Reddy and I heard you both in bed lastnight" Vinyl said with a grin and a wink.
"Yeah well Luna and I heard you from Twilight's house.." I replied back, seeing all the blood from Vinyl's face drain.
Thanks for reading guys
135527
I have no idea what you are talking about, but if it's something repeated lets just say they forgot..
I read soo many other stories, it's hard to keep track of mine. I can remember the jist of it but yeah..
I'll just go back and read it now
I'm so envius of him. Oh well I'm still a good friend with Luna (read my bio before saying I'm crazy)
Wow... hehe really liking this story... sugestion for the future... make Luna pregnant (see Celestia's reaction to that)
Hmmmmm good chapter but I'm Interested on "lvling up" your magic.
That would explain why I lost conciseness at one point.
136295 dude, you are still crazy.(although i envy you)
can't wait for the next chapter
band is cascasda song is kids in america but the is the ponyfied version
Your British, arent you?
140528
It's not really levelling up.. I explained it like evolving.. I suppose that was a bad example.
It's like if you practice something for so long, you get better at it. I think it's the same with magic. If you use different variety of spells, and master said spells, your magic will get stronger.
NO Idea if that makes sense.
141361
No, I'm cooler.
AUSTRALIAN MAAATE.
giggity
He's a fucked up guy to have absolutely no problem making out with a horse. Not to say I wouldn't french Luna, but I mean come on!
141662
I'd have no problem with it IF they weren't like human horses.
Aslong as they looked like the cartoons, then sure
141363
K, I think it makes sense
Jackson really needs to meet Blueblood
They key to entertain the viewer is conflict.
MOAR CONFLICT!
It took you about 7 chapters to introduce conflict and that was resolved as quickly as it was introduced.
Overall great story, keep up the good work!
157560
The sequel will contain more conflict. Think of this as an 'intro' to the next story.
I will try to put more conflict in, but trust me, the sequel WILL contain conflict, maybe even grimdark descriptions.
I'm loving this story! Good pacing and a sweet chapter.
Oh I love them! ;)
The squirrel is so DAWWWWWWWW...
Sir, if i may say so that was an excellent chapter. If I may say so. so HUZZA!
164086
Of course you may say so! Everybody is entitled to their own reviews!
Thankyou very much kind sir/madame
D'awwwww.......... His future-sister-in-law on the verge of tears
Luna is not gonna be happy in the morning if she sees that and lol to that first A/N
164329
I know right?
Some spelling errors here and there but nothing serious, great chapter btw
Awwww
135369 i definitely agree with you there, but just go with the flow and try to understand what's happening so far
It needs a base, no build up.