Dedicated writer who loves to work and think of new ideas. I hope you like my fanfics - my readers are very precious to me!
Follow the adventures of; Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity and new mane characters Loopdeloop and Hotcakes! The eight discover a power called 'Harmonization' which occurs when one pony is granted the power of all the Elements of Harmony and temporarily becomes an ultra-powerful alicorn!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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potential... kinda bunched up though
*tracking* And now... I GO.
This was a really fun read, and I loved the idea. I like your OC characters, anyways. Except for their names (which I don't like lol), you did a great job giving them personality and life in just two short chapters. I could seriously see them as characters on the show. Hotcakes sound like such a boss, luck was an awesome idea for an element!
No offense, but you have plenty of room to improve as well. Plus I have things I want to complain about, so here goes
. The "Harmonize" idea is really cool, I like it. But I still feel it takes away from the whole point of the "magic of friendship", you know? As soon as harmonize got shouted it went from "we're going to defeat Anarchy" to "I'm going to defeat Anarchy". If you continue this I would recommend that you make sure to acknowledge the rest of the Mane.... er, 8 during those parts. It's cool if you let us know they're channeling the energy into Twilight or something, but it's just weird if Twilight uses everything while they watch. Why are they there if one of them can just take all the elements and become incredibly powerful without the others' help, you know? 
I'm pondering this, by the way, so help me out here: What do Anarchy's powers have to do with... well, anarchy
? I don't know what anarchy has to do with storms popping up. Plus, him turning into the things he touches sounds like he represents harmony in some way, being able to harmonize himself with his surroundings and become part of them 
. The power was very awesome, and I'm not saying you did a bad job. I just think you could have come up with a better name, since that didn't really make sense.
In terms of the actual story, all I can say is that you shouldn't rush. When you did describe things, you did so well. I liked your word choice and descriptions. You skipped over a lot of places that could have been described more thoroughly, though. Like when everypony is congratulating Twilight at the end. You have this long, vertical line-up of dialogue with no description whatsoever. It made it feel really empty. Like, what were they doing while saying all these things? Standing still?
Try to have a more natural, flowing feel overall, I guess. That probably doesn't help much, but I hope it does!
Those are just my stupid complaints though. I thought this was awesome. I hope you plan on continuing it in some form or other, or start writing another fic. I'd read it! The way you write reminds me of anime, and I love anime! Thanks for writing this, I enjoyed it immensely.
130324 So I forgot to ask. WILL you be continuing this story? Loopdeloop and Hotcakes just got added, so it'd be a shame to see this end.
>>Dash is Best Pony
Thanks for the feedback! We could call these episodes trial episodes I suppose, I can work with your suggestions in later villain episodes :) and of course I will be continuing the series! The next episode is in writing as we speak!
132044 Great to hear! Glad I could help. Good luck.
(that's weird, all those sentences started with "G" 
)
So Now Even More Like Chaos Emeralds (Super form)